not that there’s anything wrong with any of this

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Okay. I’ll admit it. It’s true that men are typically held to a different standard in regards to the number of sexual partners we have. Because women are seen as the gatekeepers, the ones with the keys and the sexual veto power, men who are able to consistently “circumvent the system” are often highly regarded by their peers, and found to be more attractive to women. On the other hand, because women are seen as the creators of the sexual matrices, women who are “less stringent with their admissions policies and standards” are looked down upon.

To expound, men who are able to get with many women are seen in the same vein as the guy who’s able to get admitted into any university, while women whose screening processes are the exact opposite of “aggressive” and “thorough” and “logical” are seen in the same vein as community college, hence the phrase “junior college ho”‘

Admittedly, there is an inherent unfairness to this. Women are taught to suppress their sexual appetites, while men are encouraged to fulfill them. Although you can argue whether or not this way of thinking is ultimately beneficial for everyone and for the greater good of society, you can’t argue the blatant inequality in expectations.

Thing is, women aren’t the only ones held to a seemingly unfair sexual double standard. You don’t believe me? Read on:

Scenario 1: A man and a woman have been dating for a while, and have decided to take a step towards being in a committed relationship. During this time, they have a “talk”…one of those all-nighters where each party reveals a bit about themselves and their feelings and their history that the other party probably wasn’t aware of before. During this talk, the woman reveals a bit about her past…

“A decade ago, while I was still in college, a few girlfriends and I went to Cancun for spring break. We were short on cash, so we shared one room with two twin sized beds between the four of us. On one particularly wild and crazy and drunken night, while the other two roomies were still out partying, my bedmate and I decided to “experiment” with each other. It was just a one time occurrence. Sh*t, I’m not even attracted to women, and that was the first and last time I’ll ever have sex with one, but I thought that I should let you know about it before we got serious. I’d rather you hear it from me than someone else”

Now, in my very unscientific opinion, 85-90 percent of men will have some variation of one of the two following responses

1. “That’s no big deal honey. I’m sure we’ve all done stuff that we’re ashamed of. Lord knows I have”

2. “Did ya’ll make a tape???? I gotta see this tape!!! Where’s the f*cking tape??? Will you marry me????”

The other 10-15 percent might have a serious reservation or even consider it to be a deal-breaker.
Compare that to…

Scenario 2: A man and a woman have been dating for a while, and have decided to take a step towards being in a committed relationship. During this time, they have a “talk”…one of those all-nighters where each party reveals a bit about themselves and their feelings and their history that the other party probably wasn’t aware of before. During this talk, the man reveals a bit about his past…

“A few years ago while I was in college, a few frat brothers and I went to Cancun for spring break. One of the nights, when a friend and I were especially drunk and happened to be chillin in the room by ourselves watching “change of heart”, one thing led to another, and we made out and, ummmm, a few other things. It was just a one time occurrence. I’m in no way, shape, or form attracted to men, but I thought that I should let you know about it before we got serious”

Now, in my equally very unscientific opinion, 10 to 15 percent of women will have some variation of the following response…

1. “That’s no big deal honey. I’m sure we’ve all done stuff that we’re ashamed of. Lord knows I have”

…while the words coming from the mouths of the other 85-90 percent might sound something like

“Okay, I’m gonna run to the store to get some clorox wipes, plastic gloves, and ziplock bags. I expect you to be gone by the time i get back. I’d say don’t let the door hit you on the ass too hard on the way out, but your Al Reynolds ass would probably enjoy it!”

You can argue that a male homosexual act is more invasive then a female homosexual act. You can also argue that our definition of masculinity is so concretized that any act that’s perceived to be outside of that norm is immediately deemed “unmasculine”, but you can’t argue the fact that’s it’s a bit unequal. Where women are looked down upon for sheer volume, men are dismissed because of specific acts.

When you match the two “inequalities” together though, things have a way of balancing out. A self-imposed system of sexual checks and balances that ultimately work in everybody’s favor, and keeps the champ happy, which is all that really matters anyway.

—the champ

Newer Comments →
  • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

    Although it may be a turn on to many men (well at least that’s how the media paints it), two women getting it on does nothing for me and the act alone assures me that I wouldn’t wanna be bothered with a lesbian or bi-sexual woman.

    I’m sure your 10 to 15 percent statistic is greatly flawed because my unscientific theory will lean closer to the 1 percentile (if that) of women being fine with their dude having an “experimental” time in the past with another dude.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Although it may be a turn on to many men (well at least that’s how the media paints it), two women getting it on does nothing for me”

      me neither. i think it was intriguing to me until i actually started having sex.

      • yellahamma

        OK! Me either, its like damn girl can we get some D. I. in the room, its only so much rubbing and hunching we can do (hunching, haha, aint used that one in a minute.)

        • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

          @Yellahamma. I can’t believe you said “Hunching” I need to get a t-shirt with that word on it. LOVE IT.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I’m sure your 10 to 15 percent statistic is greatly flawed because my unscientific theory will lean closer to the 1 percentile (if that) of women being fine with their dude having an “experimental” time in the past with another dude”

      you know, if you just base that on what women say, then yeah, it would be around 1 percent. but, as we all know, you can’t just go by what women say they’d do, hence the 10-15 percent

      • Leila

        I was thinking the same thing, 10-15% seemed too high! 1-3% is probably more accurate…

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “1-3% is probably more accurate…”

          you say that, but just in here alone, theres already been two women who said theyd be able to look past that

          • Leila

            That’s surprising to me, but I guess you were right!

          • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

            True.

    • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

      @Monk. I was questioning those stats too. Thanks for pointing that out!

    • jess

      for the record, gay porn turns me on HARD. I just thought id put that out there. carry on.

      • http://Blog-AroundHarlem.com AroundHarlem.com

        Jess, I can’t tell the significance of this statement.

        Are you male or female?

        • jess

          Female. Why?

          • http://Blog-AroundHarlem.com AroundHarlem.com

            I don’t see anything wrong with a woman who likes naked men. Regardless of what they’re doing ……. LOL.

            However, I’d be skeptical of a man who liked to see other men naked.

            Just wanted clarification.

  • http://keepittrill.blogspot.com/ Kit

    This was not only amusing but true.

  • Miss Patterson

    I’m still laughing at scenario #2, because I have yet to meet any woman who is okay with her guy/potential guy having a past that involves experimenting in same sex relationships. On the otherhand, although sexual double standards are often accepted by the majority, I still have a problem with my guy being a total man whore. I have no problem with him being sexually ‘experienced’ or having more encounters of casual sex, but I would be extremely hesitant about going into a relationship with someone who consistently engaged in unprotected sex with casual sex partners AND never got tested. For one, I’d need to see some papers and make a trip down to the clinic for some same day std screenings.
    My question is do men make special considerations in the double standard rule if there girl was a victim of sexual violence?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “My question is do men make special considerations in the double standard rule if there girl was a victim of sexual violence?”

      hmmm. this isn’t exactly a soup question

      • Miss Patterson

        “hmmm. this isn’t exactly a soup question”

        Champ, not even homemade Vichyssoise?

    • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      “I would be extremely hesitant about going into a relationship with someone who consistently engaged in unprotected sex with casual sex partners AND never got tested.”

      I feel you mama, but I am hesitant (well not hesitant but cautios) about going into a relationship with someone who engages in any kind of sex, be it random, homo-(well not homo- that’s a deal breaker), hetero-, casual, committed, protected or not…the thing is, STSs occur because you can’t vouch for anyone but you…just because they said they were using condoms when they went to HEDO (which doesn’t mean they really did), doesn’t make them any more/less safe than the brother that has only had 5 partners…KNOWING your partner doesn’t make you any more/less at risk…if you’re going to have sex, protection and regular wellness checks are an understood reality…or at least it should be…

      • Miss Patterson

        “but I am hesitant (well not hesitant but cautios) about going into a relationship with someone who engages in any kind of sex”

        Good point Goodeness, but how many of us ask our potential sex partners for evidence of their last clinic visit (in addition to practicing safe sex of course). hmmmm??? This really should be a standard question to ask all potential bed mates but I think that by the time things get hot and heavy no one wants to go thumbing through their file cabinet for a doctor’s note.

        • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          real talk…unfortunately, sexual activity doesn’t come with hazard pay…it’s part of the risk we assume in feeding that particular need…(sigh) that reminds me…I need to pick up some more batteries on the way home!

    • http://keepittrill.blogspot.com/ Kit

      To try to answer Miss Patterson’s question:

      I can’t cite the study, but it showed that women who were in a relationship or marriage at the time they were raped were more likely to have their man break up with them afterwards. This doesn’t appear to be the case for women who confided a rape prior to being involved with the new boyfriend/husband.

      I speculate that this reaction by males (speaking generalities here) has to do with 1) feeling violated himself, and 2) a psycho-biological and unconscious fear that any resulting child won’t be his, and other men in the tribe will laugh behind his back, thus diminishing his respect and status.

      As women, we can b*tch, beg and educate all we want to change the way men and boys think (and vice versa), but in general, we won’t overcome the evolutionary process that took over 300,000 years to make us the way we are in a few generations.

      Regardless of your gender, finding a mature lover who truly love you goes a long way…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “As women, we can b*tch, beg and educate all we want to change the way men and boys think (and vice versa), but in general, we won’t overcome the evolutionary process that took over 300,000 years to make us the way we are in a few generations. ”

        great point and shit

      • The Queen

        “I can’t cite the study, but it showed that women who were in a relationship or marriage at the time they were raped were more likely to have their man break up with them afterwards.”

        Women that is raped often shut down physically and sexually after being raped or abused. This can be extremely frustrating for her male partner over time and cause many breakdowns in a relationship.

        • genius khan

          yeah Queen i can see that but it really seems like 1 of 2 extremes; women who have been sexually abused seem to be sexually inhibited or very very sexual.

          i can’t tell you how many times a woman just out of nowhere starts crying and goes on to describe to me some sexual abuse. half the time this conversation comes just after or just before sex. i’m sitting there sweating like dam, this chick betta not tell me she’s got aids or something. (…and yes i wear condoms consistently) i’m understanding but dam i didn’t sign up for this Dr. Phil shit.

      • Miss Patterson

        wow…Kit, I’d love to read that study. deeeeeeeep.

    • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

      @Miss Patterson. “I still have a problem with my guy being a total man whore. ” (mouth hanging open) Come on, if a dude said, I stopped counting when I reached 567 women, you woul be okay with that?

      • Miss Patterson

        exactly…i WOULD have a problem with that. i’m in the population of anti-male whore takers. But Goodeness has a valid point also…no matter how many partners sex has always has the potential to be ‘dangerous’.

        • Intelectual Hedonist

          I think if you are of a certain age (teenage years date prior to 1990) there is also that greater chance of risk since the whole wear a condom era took place after that.

      • don giovanni

        @ El…would you be more concerned with the partner who kept track or not have kept track at all??

  • http://menaintshit.wordpress.com Funkyblackchick

    I’m sorry NO straight guy/woman is ever that drunk…
    The saying goes, a drunken man always speaks the truth…but as you stated, men are more willing to give women the ‘get out of jail’ free card when it comes to things like that…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I’m sorry NO straight guy/woman is ever that drunk…”

      i agree. being drunk doesn’t make you do anything you didnt already want to do, it just reduces your mental filters

      • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

        @Champ. I think the mental filters are still there but I think most people over ride them because they can blame it on the alcohol.

    • http://www.singleblackmale.net Single Black Male

      While no guy is ever that drunk … In my head ever woman is only two shots away from living out her deep seated lesbian fantasy.

      Or maybe I’m just really pushing for that threesome.

      • http://www.funkyblackchick.com Funkyblackchick

        I think you’re probably pushing for that 3some..lol

        • http://www.singleblackmale.net Single Black Male

          You don’t think deep down you’ve never “wondered”.

          Lets get a bottle of patron and your favorite female celebrity and test the theory.

          We’ll get real scientific with it. Multiple trials, sterile environment, all that good stuff.

          • http://www.funkyblackchick.com Funkyblackchick

            There’s not enough Patron in the world…lol
            I’m secure in my heterosexuality.

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              Ditto: I once had over ten shots and trust me when I tell you (from what I can remember) not once did even kissing another woman cross my mind

              It is either in your psyche or it isn’t. It can not be put there, you are either apt to do it or not

            • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

              @Funkyblackchick. I see you and I think alike. There is no need to experiment when you already know what you like.

            • http://www.singleblackmale.net Single Black Male

              You say that now … but there is a lot of patron in the world. You might be in a real bad mood (lets say its your birthday and your alone). You might have just finished watching some new episode of the L word and you and your friend are cursing me and drowing your sorrows in instant margarita’s.

              Next thing you know, you try and get up and fall into her breasts. You apologize and try to get up, but manage to stick your hand in her crouch.

              At that point the seed music comes on and you kiss.

              Uh … what was my original point?

            • http://www.funkyblackchick.com Funkyblackchick

              Whoa..The “L” word? Never watched an episode of that..but, I think you’ve seen one too many bad pornos…lol

              Strickly d___, well you know the saying…bring the patron and we can make our own flick..LOL.

              I joke. I kid.

      • yellahamma

        Gay is gay either way u slice it but….. 2 women can not penatrate each other, to me that is the major diff. 2 women can bump and grind all night mutha f*cking long, there is nothing on they body they can stick in the other woman that the other byatch can’t do, (i.e. finger, dildo, etc) 2 men can actually penatrate each other. This my friends is f*ucking disgusting. That is y i personally think 2 women can be sexy and 2 dudes is fucking disgusting. U wanna put ur what in where? Ninja kick rocks!!!

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          @yell… WOOOOWWWW! you seem offended. LMAO

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            @SBM look at you role playing your fantasy…

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          lol…yeah yella, next time tell us how you REALLY feel

        • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

          What if one of the woman is wearing a strap on? Does that count as penetration? What about fingers? I’m pretty sure a finger has penetrated at least one woman in the past few years? I’m sure certain toys have also been used.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        I’m with you SBM.

      • don giovanni

        ME TOO, SBM!!!

        i have had a conversation with a many people on this subject!! i think in most cases, with the right variables in place, a woman will be sexually intimate with another!!

  • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

    Both of those scenarios are purely speculation, because what happens in Cancun stays in Cancun.

    Plus no man who has experimented with other men and is “decidedly heterosexual”* is going to admit that said experimentation took place. “It never happened.” In fact I’m pretty sure they would utter those words immediately after release.

    And I really think the same is true for women. Although, I can see a woman trying to impress some dude by telling him she ate some chick’s kitty to get freak points.

    *Yes, “decidedly”. I believe we decide our sexual orientation regardless of who we are born attracted to. But that’s another topic for another time.

    • http://therealkee.blogspot.com/ Ms. Freckles

      I actually concur with Deviant.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Plus no man who has experimented with other men and is “decidedly heterosexual”* is going to admit that said experimentation took place.”

      i’ve read shit where “hetero” guys who were getting their adebesi on while in prison freely admitted to doing that. they were able to compartmentalize somehow

      • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        *lol @ adebisi*

        prison gay is looked at differently than regular ole “it’s Tuesday” gay…I’ve been told it’s due to a lack of opposite sex options…and (in theory) I can understand it…I know men that think that since they were “throwing” not “catching”, they are still straight…and again (in theory) I can understand the concept…but once you’re out…then what? you’re still looking for boys…you’re turned out…I’ve heard my “mariposa” boys say who better to know how a man like his head, than another man…same for women…but I don’t buy it…who wants a goatee rubbing against his inner thigh during the course of slob-knobbery? I’m just saying…but real talk, I have have seen men come to blows aruguing that (in prison-ness) if you’re “throwing” ain’t gay!…

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “I’ve been told it’s due to a lack of opposite sex options…and (in theory) I can understand it…I know men that think that since they were “throwing” not “catching”, they are still straight”

          its still gay though (not that theres anything wrong with that). i mean, theres a term that describes what you should just do if you only have same-sex options, and it rhymes with “grassterfate”

          • genius khan

            i don’t care if ur throwing or catching, in jail or out on bail, if ur f’ing the same sex, you’re gay. hell the f*** yes! grassterfate if you have nothing but same sex options. the rest of that shit is Gayfus Lee Terd III.

            i’m not homophobic but don’t disrespect me by trying to crack and we good. …anything else and i’m snapping. no innuendo, no talking to a mutual friend about me. (like a girl) 1 warning afterwhich i will bust ur head to the white meat.

            • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

              @Genius Khan. “i don’t care if ur throwing or catching, in jail or out on bail, if ur f’ing the same sex, you’re gay. hell the f*** yes! ” I co-sign on this all dayum day. Seriously, j@ck off and call it a day. If there were no men on earth I still wouln’t turn to a woman. I’m straight (literally and figuratively speaking)

          • Miss Patterson

            “grassterfate”…..Champ, you just made me choke on my Jameson and birthday cake. You’re a d@mn fool!

          • http://www.singleblackmale.net Single Black Male

            I agree. When life gets tough … take the situation into your own hands and handle things.

            Maybe if your jumped by like 10 guys with shanks, and the guard is in on it, and you also can’t take your own life.

            Outside of that … your gay.

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              You know, long ago, I wrote about this too. I just may have to rehash my entire old blog. LOL. It generated quite the spirited discourse that time too.

  • http://tiffanybbrown.com/ tiffany

    i think i’d be more disturbed by the fact that they were watching “change of heart.”

    actually, i can’t say how i’d react to this. i dated a rumored bi-sexual dude in college, and i remember being mildly stunned. i never found out for sure, though. perhaps if i had confirmation — and he hadn’t been so much of an effing jacka** in other ways — i might have been more concerned.

    i think it would depend on how much this news surprised me, and how into the dude i was. i can think of two men who if they had told me, (a) it wouldn’t have seemed that far-fetched; (b) i would have continued dating them.

    now, i’d probably look at him sideways if he was still close friends with this frat brother. outside of that, i don’t think i’d trip too much.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “i think i’d be more disturbed by the fact that they were watching “change of heart.””

      yeah, i think this is actually gayer than the actual gay sex

  • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

    It’s one of societies biggest hypocricies…if I say I’ve slept with 20 guys then I’m automactically labeled “liberal with the undies” or more explicity a whore. If I say I’m dating mulitple guys until I find the right “fit,” again I’m labeled with disdain. But if a man were doing the same thing and being honest about it then he’s just being a man…and he can sleep with 100 girls and not be looked at any less. But let me admit to more than 5 guys and all of a sudden I need to run to my local gyno to get a check up.

    I think it comes from a place of insecurity when women label other women in such negative terms, for men it’s more of an air of hypocritical arrogance…don’t be mad at me b/c I’ve found my sexual stride and am content with it. Especially if my dating meter is off the richter. If I meet and date 12 guys a year the fact that I’ve only slept with 2 is not a big deal…but to each his own I guess.

    But I also have to say that there are some blatant whores out there who don’t care who they sleep with as long they have someone near if only for a moment.

    On the acts of random gayness: I would head for the hills if a man ever admitted to being with another man…it’s just not right. How can you honestly want to be me with and him…oh goodness no.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “On the acts of random gayness: I would head for the hills if a man ever admitted to being with another man…it’s just not right. How can you honestly want to be me with and him…oh goodness no”

      this proves my point. the way you feel about a “random act of gayness” is the same a typical guy would feel about a woman’s “multiple random acts of ho-ness”.

      checks and balances.

      • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

        But that reasoning is illogical. It is not looked down upon when a women sleeps with a man, it is however looked down upon when a man sleeps with a man…who cares about how many at that point.

        So the two are in completely different categories. And who set the rules on how many men a chic can sleep with, how many makes you a whore or loose with the cooch? What are the standards?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “But that reasoning is illogical. It is not looked down upon when a women sleeps with a man, it is however looked down upon when a man sleeps with a man…who cares about how many at that point.”

          thing is, if “logic” is whats important, how logical is it to forever brand someone as “unhetero” because of one act that might have been committed decades ago?

          i never said that any of this (and “this” being “the way each gender looks at sexual deal-breakers”) was right or wrong…it just is.

          • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

            “thing is, if “logic” is whats important, how logical is it to forever brand someone as “unhetero” because of one act that might have been committed decades ago? ”

            b/c it’s a dude and the insert point is the ass, and they probably didn’t use protection since “technically” they weren’t having sex, they were just having a little male bonding…like poker night…you see absurd that all sounds. exactly.

        • genius khan

          Teesh, don’t count. if you are keeping count; that’s so parochial. …and there is no # that i have as a rule. we shouldn’t be asking or taking counts. i’m a grown ass man not a middle schooler. i am also a freakmaster and i will figure out if you have promiscuous tendencies. If you do then maybe we can be f**k buddies, maybe not. if i think u r promiscuous then we probably won’t be bf & gf. that’s what’s up.

          • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

            yeah i stopped counting many moons ago…many, many moons ago…lol.

    • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      damn if 20 makes you “liberal” I would hate to cash in my tab… (hanging head, slowly turning and walking back to the corner)

      • The Queen

        Damn Goodeness…it’s not even 10am yet and you are on your way to the corner. I was pulling for you.

        I say don’t go to the corner…it’s this ridiculous male-created double standard that is subconsciously leading you to the corner. Take a stand!

        • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          nah… I don’t think I am going to the corner YET…lol…since this is a post about double standards, I don’t think the number of blocks I’ve been around will be the reason I get sent to my oasis! I mean it’s all Comfy McCozy over there now… I got a pole and I can have visitors (when his royal Champ-ness deems fit) and er’thang…so it’s not so much a punishment anymore…just like a sister…take a lemon and make lemonade… ;)

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        DAMN indeed which is why I stopped counting YEARS AGO!

        • genius khan

          not mad Hedo….

        • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

          i used to keep a list and calendar in college…lol, just in case. but when i became a woman i put away such childish things.

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            I don’t deny that I kept a calendar, for the purpose of tracking other things not as notches on a bedpost. Even in my 14 year relationship I tracked it on the calendar

            • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

              it was definitely used to track other things…and wouldn’t you know that when i got knocked up i didn’t even need the damn thing.

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              @ Teacia… lol

          • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            I have always kept a number-less list…but it used to be complete with period(s) of partnership, size, and my own personal scoring system…lol..now I just keep names and dates… I have a friend that doesn’t even have REAL names in her mental rolodex… ish like “Tyrone’s homeboy” but “Tyrone” wasn’t even dude’s real name. WTF? ..kill yo’self…I don’t “count” but I keep good records…ish is real in the field!

            • Teacia

              oh yeah i had the stars, and inch calculator, orgasm count, good head count with juicy nicknames…it was good stuff. ahhh, to be young and wreckless again.

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              “I have a friend that doesn’t even have REAL names in her mental rolodex… ish like “Tyrone’s homeboy” but “Tyrone” wasn’t even dude’s real name.”

              this made me choke on my water and sugar
              cookies.

            • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

              @Good. You are a trip. LMAO. “Tyrone’s homeboy” but “Tyrone” wasn’t even dude’s real name.” Gurl STAWP!!!!! Shoot I have friends that don’t know names but expect me to know them. “Hey remember when we went to bike fest, what was that guys name who I slept with?” LOL! Shid, I dunno, you are the one that slept with his @ss.

      • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

        Ummmm, I keep a list. Real talk. Everybody and I do mean everybody who I slept with is on it. I need to know my number. Forget ya’ll.

  • Tallgent

    I have never understood the desire for men who want to see girl on girl action. Does nothing for me (unless I can be in the middle). I would not give a chick a free pass for it either.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Does nothing for me (unless I can be in the middle).”

      the threesome is overrated. other than the ego boost, it’s really somewhat pointless

      • Tallgent

        Somethings I would like to try for myself.

        • genius khan

          LOL! not mad.

        • http://Blog-AroundHarlem.com AroundHarlem.com

          LOL @ Somethings I would like to try for myself.

          I understand. You’d like to form your own opinion about the situation ……… LOL.

      • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        yeah…the ego boost is the draw…oh wait…you meant for the man…not the woman huh? damn…nevermind…lol

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          whenever a man asks me if I want to participate in one I always say sure so long as its two men… for some reason he seems to loose interest in a threesome at that point. Talk about double standard.

          • genius khan

            the 2 man gangbang? yes?

          • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            OH NO!!! a 2 man show is too much work! lol… I’m getting dizzy just thinking about it!

          • Tallgent

            What would you say if he is like “yeah”?

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              I would say “NOT” I don’t need two men to perform on me to prove anything. I would then openly question his “tendencies”.

              I have yet to find a man that will agree to my terms. Usually they want a threesome with two women, and for the record I am not down with that, I need all individual attention on me, Im selfish that way.

            • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

              I would say… HOLLA…old lady on the block say “something in the milk ain’t clean”

    • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      so 3somes are okay, but just girls isn’t?

      I am askig for the sake of clarity…because if the roles were reversed they are still both deal breakers! If my potential man had one on one with a dude (regardless of his position) or a 3some with 2 men it’s still gay to me…if you can keep it up with another dude within arms reach of you? hell nah! I mean, if one is in front and the other in back, you are facing each other! how can you “maintain” looking eye ot eye with another MAN! nope…sorry…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “I mean, if one is in front and the other in back, you are facing each other! how can you “maintain” looking eye ot eye with another MAN! nope…sorry…”

        lol…this is why i’ve always looked at dudes who bragged about running trains with a side eye.

        • ForReal

          True! But see being in the same room or even looking at each other face to face isn’t that serious to me; I mean hopefully someone has the good sense to shift his gaze. But when a guy has double-teamed a chick with another guy, all i can see in my minds eye are 2 pairs of nuts slapping against each other…and THAT’s some questionable ish. I mean think about the physics (and any porno flicks you may have seen)… it’s bound to happen.

          • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            OH HELL NAH! who does that? (for free?) I mean that ish should be reserved for the professionals! (getting light headed at the thought) nuts…slapping…2 pieces…2 holes…(passes out at desk)

            • ForReal

              LOL..i wonder the same thing. That’s work for real and doing it for free just don’t seem right!

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              “doing it for free just don’t seem right!”

              LMAO

              T Shirt

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              “doing it for free just don’t seem right!”

              LMAO

              T Shirt”

              i concur

        • Miss Patterson

          running trains is completely unacceptable behavior. it actually exceeds random acts of gayness and ho-ness.

        • genius khan

          yeah i don’t want to see another mans naked willy in a sexual sityo. i need some degree of privacy mayne. i’m not an exhibitionist. i will do the sityo’s where you can get caught but not open exhibition. i’m not pornstar, i’m just built like this.

          • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            “i’m not pornstar, i’m just built like this.”

            YUMMY!

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            That is begging to be a tshirt

    • http://www.myspace.com/Elendak Elenda

      @Tallgent. ***standing ovation***

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @Elenda~please don’t encourage him

  • GOODENess

    I cant see a straight man EVER admitting to playing “tummy swords” with another man…to come clean about this (allegedly drunken) same sex sausage fest would undermine the level of honesty trying to be reached… a straight man saying he has been with a man, even in an animated dream sequence, plants the seed of ambiguity…she will be second guessing him for the duration of the connection (if she stays) and if she doesn’t stay, u may be outed from a closet u were never really in… thats something u take to the grave, man! as far as girl on girl…ummmmm…there was this one time at band camp….lmao!

    but I digress…

    the length of the “list” isnt something I need to know…as long as YOU know how many people you’ve been with (including first/last names and period(s) of “parttnership”), I dont need to know… you’re with me now and that’s what I want to focus on…if u got something, u got it before we met and knowing how many people people u have slid the salami to doesnt change that… we werent virgins when we hooked up, we both have pasts and FuBu flashcards wot change any of that… I wont be riding u into the sunset raw anyway…so u are on the same playing field as any other playmate…knowing your “number” doesnt change how the GOODENess will be bestowed upon you!

    • Tallgent

      playing “tummy swords”, same sex sausage fest

      LMAO

      • genius khan

        she crazy and thats why i love her. LOL!

        • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          (wink)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “a straight man saying he has been with a man, even in an animated dream sequence, plants the seed of ambiguity”

      this made me choke on my poundcake and bacon.

      • http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        you know my goal is to get you at least once a day…lol

  • ForReal

    The ‘gatekeeper’, ‘circumventing the system’ and ‘junior college ho’ analogies are some of the best I’ve heard to describe this age old double-standard. Thanks Champ.

    Regarding the same sex experimentation thing…if a guy told me some shit he did when he was like 12, i honestly wouldn’t care. I think it’s a fairly common thing that kids might do at that age (but of course, no one admits to it). But college spring break is a bit different; by that age straight men aren’t really ‘curious’ about other men the way some women might be- it just wouldn’t sit right with me. And i think the invasiveness of the act probably has a lot to do with it. BUT, I wouldn’t try to carry him for telling me, and i damn sure wouldn’t tell anyone else, cause that’s not an easy thing for a person to admit and i’d appreciate his honesty.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “The ‘gatekeeper’, ‘circumventing the system’ and ‘junior college ho’ analogies are some of the best I’ve heard to describe this age old double-standard. Thanks Champ.”

      no problem. glad i could help

    • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

      Someone’s hand on your member isn’t much of an invasive act. Heck, my doctor does that. Another topic of discussion, is there something wrong if a man gets wood when his male doctor is examining him? Hmm?

      LoL, I’m reading the “heck my doctor does that” and thinking that sounds sooo shady.

      • ForReal

        LOL Kamakula, first of all, you are right, a hand isn’t invasive. Neither is a mouth really, but i’ve never been drunk enough to put a penis in my mouth that i didn’t want there, so a dude gets NO free pass on that one!

        And don’t worry about your doctor…I’m sure he’s very discreet ;-)

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