Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

No Social Media, No Thank You.

Believe it or not, I still know people who utilize no forms of social media. Now this “people” is a relatively small group of individuals, but they exist. Now because I’ve known those folks for years and years, I trust them.

But let’s say I’m out in these streets – because I’m usually out in these streets doing things that people out in these streets do – and I meet an individual lacking either a Facebook page, a Linkedin profile, Twitter or Instagram, and well, I’m throwing more shade than Oprah in 1995. Hmm…y’all know how people differentiate between Fat Luther and Skinny Luther as to which version made better music, has anybody ever done such a thing with regards to Oprah? I’m guessing no. But that would be a worthy project for a communications major.

Real talk. No R. Kelly.

Back to the lecture at hand. I’m not sure I’d fully trust anybody who attempted to leave no digital footprint short of their email accounts. It just makes me nervous, like you have something to hide. Now, the irony of this is how often people lie on the Internet. So while I don’t trust anybody who has no footprint, I also cannot trust what I see from the majority of folks who do.

Cognitive dissonance, thy name is Panama Jackson.

You know what else makes no sense, despite the fact that we all make so much information readily available, we still get freaked out when we find out people are taking a look at all of it. I remember many moons ago, a young lady I was seeing made it clear that she’d looked thru my FB page and then went thru all of the pictures of my sisters. While this is all completely legal, it seemed creepy and stalkerish. Now, as it turns out, I was more upset that she informed me that she was a stalker as opposed to her actual stalking. Some things you should keep to yourself, but as many of us know, when women are interested in you, they like to gain as much information as possible and in doing so tend to be extremely inquisitive about your life and everything in it. With that inquisitiveness comes a remarkable ability to remember details…while leaving keys in the refrigerator or a purse in the chimney.

I’m not so sure why men aren’t that way. I think when we like a woman we just like her as is, the details aren’t as important. Sure we like to know you aren’t a murderer but we assume that if we’re interested, the details are just extras. Men? We stupid.

Where was I? Oh yes, so despite all of this information being available, I’m leery of people who make it clear that they avail themselves of all accessible forms of social media. Instagram? They know what date you and time you posted that picture. Twitter, they’re reading that like a hawk. Facebook…well shut the front door.

Conversely more, you know what else I don’t quite understand? People with all of this social media sh*t and it’s all padlocked. Now, I get to some degree why its necessary to privatize your information. And for a vast many people, FB and Twitter is a way to communicate with people they’d not likely communicate with, so I suppose it makes sense to some degree. But it does seem like if you’re going to be apart of the community, just do it with open arms. Sure, I’ve had blog posts stolen and pictures jacked and I’m pretty sure…wait for it…

…Brick killed a guy.

(I haven’t done that in a while.)

But I’ve also met some great and terrible people online that my life wouldn’t be the same without; people I’d never have met if I locked myself off from the world. So if I meet you out and all of your sh*t is private, I’m also giving you the Panama Jackson Epic Side-Eye and assuming you’ve got something to hide. Either that or your tremendously boring. There’s no way somebody who is insanely entertaining is locking their profile. If you tell a joke and nobody is there to hear it, is it funny? Methinks not. So if you were interesting, there’s a good chance that your profile would be public so that others could validate your entertainingness. That’s the first commandment of blogging: Thou shalt be narcissistic.

Y’all think I do this for you? No, I do this for me so when I look in the mirror at night I can say, Pretty Petey, you did that. Not coincidentally…

…that’s what she said.

(Are you still reading and wondering what the hell just happened in the past 754 words? Mr. Me Too.)

The point is, even though you can’t trust anybody via social media, you definitely can’t trust anybody who isn’t up on social media. Unless that person still uses any of the following services that may or may not exist: MySpace, AOL, BlackPlanet anything, etc.

So what say you? How do you feel about folks without a social media presence online? Would you date or actively get to know somebody who informed you that they just don’t get down like that (I realize that’s a dumb question when stated like that…on the list of dealbreakers its an odd one…but would it make you suspicious in 2013?)? If you don’t involve yourself, even in Facebook, why not? What’s the 411, hon? You got it goin’ on? Yeah I got it goin’ on.

Talk to me. Petey.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. INSTAGRAM THAT SH*T aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • Jay

    I know someone like this…**taps fingers**

    • MissRae

      Uhhhh ….shots fired?

    • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

      IP, please stay farrrrrrrrrrrrr away from this one today. Let me just enjoy the scenery in solitude. Thanks.

      • Iceprincess2

        Lol! Gurl, he is SPEAKING to me! It’s ok tho, I’m still not getting on none of that ish. Nobody will shame me into ever doing it. No desire to be on blast. I’m too grown chile. If you not famous or promoting a bizness or whatever, I do not see the point! *on Instagram straight flexin errrrr*

        • MissRae

          LMAO

  • That Ugly Kid

    I like social media because I like interacting with people. All I have is a Twitter (@SixHourErection), a Facebook, and a Myspace (which I haven’t touched in years).

    -

    The only time I’m on Twitter is when I’m bored, or there’s an award show/special event on. Because live Twitter commentary make EVERY show 1000x times better. Though I’ve met a lot of great people though Twitter, I’m really not on it like that. As for Facebook, well, I deactivated my account months ago, it’s just not my thing anymore. I only reactivated it recently, because my birthday was coming up and I wanted people to remember so they can buy me things/do stuff for me (I got Chipotles!). Now that my birthday’s past, I’m thinking about deactivating it again very soon.

    -

    I don’t really consider myself a blogger. I only follow like, 3 blogs and comment on one of them (this one).

    • The Human Spider

      Your Twitter handle is hilarious, duke.

    • Rewind

      If you got a dollar for every girl that only talked to you because of the Twitter handle..

    • I Am Your People

      Speaking of ratchet twitter handles, please peruse the twitter handles of everyone in @PoppethThyPussy’s timeline. I’m just like 0________________________O

      • I Am Your People

        Give me free *shakes angry fist*

    • chameleonic

      interacting with people = my kryptonite. its good and i enjoy it but its pretty hard because it goes against my nature. i comment on this blog bc if i didnt id bury myself under my huge soft blankets in my cozy bed in my blacked out curtained bedroom and wait for the rescheduled mayan apocalypse.

    • Iceprincess2

      @TUK Thanx for gracing us wit your presence ;-)

    • Chika

      “I like social media because I like interacting with people.”

      …There are so many things wrong with this statement. I weep for my generation.

  • mirabella

    I think it’s refreshing to meet someone without a social media trace. Even the most rational person is not safe from becoming a stalker when they have their love interests social media details.

    I feel as if social media is ruining the mystery of getting to know someone.

    • GypsyCurl

      ++++123456

      I have one good friend who doesn’t have FB acct. my true friends are not my FB friends.

      I am at the point where I don’t even have txt on my phone. You can’t call me then don’t contact me.

      When you start getting rid of these faux communication networks (ie txt, FB, onstage am, etc) that’s when you find out who are your real friends and real FAMILY!

      • GypsyCurl

        *instagram* daymmm autocorrect

        • mirabella

          Exactly! The people who call me or meet are my friends. Everyone else is a pseudo friend

  • Perverted Alchemist

    I openly admit that I’m not into social media. I have a very valid reason as to why it’s not my cup of tea- I’m almost 40 years old!!!! What in the absolute f*ck do I look like being on Twitter and Facebook and I’m nearing close to middle age- and soon retirement?
    -
    It’s practically the in-thing to do to be a part of social media, but it’s serves no purpose for me. Even when MySpace was the go-to site, I wasn’t interested in being a part of it.
    -
    From my end, social media does nothing more than give people access to your personal life- especially for those who went to school with you and want to connect with you. Connect deez!
    -
    If anyone wants to know how far my aversion to social media runs, I’ll put it to you this way. I didn’t have an e-mail address until 2009 and a cellphone until recently. That gives people a clear indication on where I stand with this issue.

    • Mr SoBo – OpinionatedMale.com

      +1
      I have never and still am not a huge fan of social media outlets in the form of FB, Twitter, MySpace, etc. I find it to be rather invasive, and voluntarily putting personal information in public domain for the world to see isn’t appealing in my opinion. Not so much having anything to hide, but complete strangers need not know intimate & personal things about me, what I eat, like, how I feel, etc.

      It is 100% narcissism. However, to each is own.

      Unfortunately, the way certain aspects of business is going these days, being proficient in social media will make you more marketable. This is based on the field of interest, i.e. marketing, media related roles, etc. Many positions require some knowledge of these outlets.

      Anyway, I’m a VSB regular so I guess that makes me a Social Mediamite. *kanye shrugs*

      Mr SoBo

      • Perverted Alchemist

        “I find it to be rather invasive, and voluntarily putting personal information in public domain for the world to see isn’t appealing in my opinion. Not so much having anything to hide, but complete strangers need not know intimate & personal things about me, what I eat, like, how I feel, etc.”
        -
        I see people that do this on a regular basis and I can’t do anything but shake my head in utter disappointment.

        • Rewind

          It is part of the transition with technology though, and we are the technological generation. But people forget that when you gain something new, you lose something old.

      • MissRae

        “Unfortunately, the way certain aspects of business is going these days, being proficient in social media will make you more marketable. This is based on the field of interest, i.e. marketing, media related roles, etc. Many positions require some knowledge of these outlets.”

        I agree with you on this. It depends on how you use social media.

    • I Am Your People

      Wait…do you just mean you didn’t have a PERSONAL email address since ’09? Where were you working without an email address?

      • Iceprincess2

        @IAYP Idk where PA was working, but I wasn’t “working” no where honey. #LIFEOFFTHEGRID :-)

      • Perverted Alchemist

        I’ve never had a personal e-mail address until about four years ago, but everywhere I worked had e-mail. All of them were shocked that I had no e-mail address to contact me.

    • Iceprincess2

      Omg marry me, PA!!

      • Perverted Alchemist

        We are >>>here<<< on social media, yes?

    • AfterMath

      See, I completely understand this, but i also completely disagree with it. I mean I understand if its not your cup of tea, but there are a lot of purposes for it. I mean, whats the point of going to a real networking event? Different people go for different reasons, but if I’m on one of those sites I may be talking to experts in different fields, or getting sports updates, or trying to advertise some of my work. But its more than giving people access to your personal life.

      Man really, you could make up your own personal life just for the social media as is generally the case at many dating sites.

    • YeahSo

      “Connect deez!” lol, I’m witchoo.

    • nillalatte

      “I’m almost 40 years old.”
      .
      And, who you calling old? Pufft… lol

    • Asiyah

      Don’t feel too bad, PA. I still have a flip phone. LOL!

      • MissRae

        I don’t blame you for the having a flip phone. I love having a smartphone but the price of having to pay the phone bill makes me want to go prepaid, lol.

        • Perverted Alchemist

          I was told to get a smartphone, but I cringed at the possibility of the bill. Over a hundred dollars on the first payment- and 30 percent of it is the data plan that comes with the phone and goes up at any given moment? No thanks…I’ll pass…

          • Asiyah

            Hmmm…never thought about that. I’m just not a huge fan of them. I’m a simple gal. Besides, I have a tendency to slam my phone against the wall when I’m mad, and a flip phone is perfect for that. They don’t damage easily lol

      • esa

        smart girls have simple phones.

        • Asiyah

          awww <3

        • luvinafrikans

          I had a simple phone and then it died I have a smartphone now…boohoo. It just didn’t make sense 2 replace it w/anything less…that said I’ve njoyd the helloutofit though. Yet w/all the tech advances, we r getting dumber & socially inept. I.e. ‘I dated her 4 3 yrs, but never met her, even when she was dying’ really?!?!

    • Wild Cougar

      I’m seeing a pattern here. Yup

      • Perverted Alchemist

        And that would be…?

  • #NOSM

    I do not have a FB page, twitter account, linkedin profile or anything other type of social media page. I am not weird or boring and I’m not trying to hide anything. I just don’t possess the amount of narcissism that is required (IMHO) to be apart of social media. I attempted to join FB two years ago and I honestly didn’t understand what the big deal was so I deleted my page. I’m 32 years old for the people who may be curious. I wouldn’t call myself old fashioned; I’m not just not caught up in the instant gratification phase.

  • I Am Your People

    Interesting. I don’t have a Facebook account, and I read somewhere that some employers side eye people without them because they feel like they have something to hide (I do have a LinkedIn profile, which I would think would be most relevant to employers)

    My main reasons for not doing Facebook is not wanting people all in my business, and not wanting (for example) my new co-worker trying to friend me and being all awkward about not accepting it. And I don’t want to get pulled into my friends’ Facebook fights. But yeah, when people not eligible for the AARP say they don’t so ANYTHING…well, now I know who believes Manti Te’o

    • Val

      Facebook fights are the most ridiculous thing ever in the history of mankind. Lol I love seeing them. They’re just so stupid. They’re like grade school fights.

      • MissRae

        I admit when I use to be on facebook I was involved in a couple of arguments. It was all due to a general discussion and someone thought the status was about them and got offended.

    • Rewind

      There’s nothing funnier than people e-thugging on FB with their passive aggressive threats, completely forgetting the fact that the only way the enemy can contact them is through the fact that THEY ARE FB FRIENDS…block a bytch! The hell is the problem?
      _

      Know good and gotdamn well they won’t say any of that stuff in person, but need to say it online for 30 Likes to feel validated. Ugh

      • AfroPetite

        People have died over FB arguments. When keeping it real goes wrong and ish.

        • Rewind

          But you know what? That’s some sucker shyte. Because you have to know a person on FB for them to see whatever you type, and clearly all that information can be said either in person, or on the phone, but people got to puff their chest out for the whole world to see.
          -
          A girl here at the projects I work at got stabbed because she was talking sideways about some chick not knowing she was banging her man. Another chick damn near got battery acid thrown in her face for getting greasy on FB instead of doing it at school.

        • MissRae

          Sad but true.

      • Todd

        ROTFLMAO

    • Asiyah

      “And I don’t want to get pulled into my friends’ Facebook fights.”

      omg YES!

  • That Ugly Kid

    Also, I don’t have a problem with people stalking my Twitter or Facebook page. The only time I got really annoyed was when my most recent ex (who dumped me, by the way), after I asked her how she knew so much about my recent life, blantantly told me that she has her friends stalk my FB page (because I deleted her as a friend and blocked her) and report back to her all the sh*t I say in my statuses, and who I’m posing with in my pictures (if I’m in the pic with a female). That sh*t sent me up the wall.

    -

    But other than that, if you’re stalking my tweets because you need a laugh/epiphany, or stalking my FB out of genuine curiosity, that’s fine.

    • GypsyCurl

      Th creepiest thing that just happened to me on FB: I updated my status. The next I had 45 responses on my page the next day. I clicked to see what kind of responses and about 20 of them were from a girl I went to high school who literally went through all my pictures and “liked” them. Who does that? And the pictures were 3-4years old. And it had nothing to do with the status update. I think she saw my status and thought “Hey, she has an update. hmmm I have FB stalked her in awhile!”

    • Asiyah

      Why would she say this? Omg what is in the water in Chi-town? Or do y’all drink Honest Tea instead?

      • MissRae

        Smh who knows.

    • YeahSo

      So now what you gon’ do TUK… let the stalking continue or just unfriend all her friends? :-(

  • Toria

    I have a good number of friends that don’t have social media accounts or got out of the game within the last few years. Why? Because the academic powers that be check up on everybody like voicing our opinion is a crime.

    Soooo… that being said, all my stuff is private and unsearchable. Of course, as FB and things keep changing, “private” is relative.

    I was reminded of this when a friend of a friend messaged me on FB and tried to talk to me. Said he knew I was thick bc he looked thru ALLLLLLLLLL my pics. -__- He could have left that part out (besides the fact I’m not interested). It kinda scared me that

    I’m not bothered by people who don’t have social media accounts just bc I will probably have to delete mine at some point, but they don’t need to be adamant about it. It’s a thou doth protest too much situation and there’s usually a story there.

    PS Watching Catfish would not be nearly as funny without simultaneous Twitter comments.

    • Rewind

      I find it sincerely creepy that people take the time out of their day to look through someone’s whole photo gallery, as if somehow they get to know you every crevice that way. Ugh.

      • Perverted Alchemist

        Well…considering some of the pictures they post, it’s easy to understand why. One woman I used to be friends with made it a point to photograph herself in her bra and panties. Mind you, she was 39 at the time…

        • Iceprincess2

          Rediculous smdh

        • Rewind

          I get that people like what they see, and want to look at a few photos. But if a bytch got 300 pics and a nucka spends 2 hours LOOKING AT EVERY SINGLE ONE…somebody needs to call the “Get Ya Shyte Together” police.

          • MissRae

            I know right #AintNobodyGotTimeForDat

          • esa

            Less is More

    • Asiyah

      ” Because the academic powers that be check up on everybody like voicing our opinion is a crime”

      Yup! When I was applying to PhD programs 4 years ago, I changed my name on FB to something that I knew they would never deduce was me. I took my best friend’s last name, combined it with a last name I felt was pretty and meshed well with her last name, and was that person until I got my final rejection letter. Yes, paranoid, I know, but here in the USA, if you express any anti-Israel opinion you are blacklisted and deemed an anti-semite and that ruins your chances.

  • Sahel

    Shit,i only have an e mail address because need it. I dont do facebook,twiiter or any social media. If i want drama thats what VSB is for,iceprincess be pushing her boobs everywhere

  • CD

    I have been off Facebook for well over a year, never had an Instagram or Twitter, and I’m lovin’ it. This is coming from a person who would many a time, involuntarily go to her Facebook page as well as beg her friends who would take their Facebook hiatuses, to come back. I decided to take a serious break from Facebook for several reasons, one being that I felt it was becoming unnecessary noise in my life. OMG, what profile picture should I choose? What is everyone and their mother doing in life? What should my status be? And of course, everyone wants to be a Facebook politician, typing ridiculousness from their keyboards and acting on nothing. Everything about social media is one big “look at me.” Quotes from a book I am currently reading, “It can be just another place, not to be, but to seem.”….”Facebook is less about looking up friends than it is about looking at friends.” Basically, I’m trying to focus on me, my real friends, with whom I have no problem keeping in touch, and keep it moving. That isn’t to say I won’t be back, though *side eye to self But wait, though, I really don’t get the point of Instagram…

    • GypsyCurl

      Well said. FB can be psychologically controlling as well as other social networks and the Internet in general. I find myself going on the Internet, closing it, then going right back on the Internet again even though I was just on there.
      ……
      And I also don’t see the point of instagram or pinterest or tumblr.

      • CD

        haha..yayyy!! We’re on the same page!

    • Rewind

      I never knew it got that bad for people. I actually can’t understand how it could get that bad, but anything can seem addictive if you add the right elements. Glad you caught wind of the problem before it was too late.
      -
      I can’t see myself being that attached to FB. I go on everyday but only to check messages and look at funny pics, which is all of about 5-10 minutes of my time, and then I’m done. But I do see people literally stuck on the site for hours at a time.

      • CD

        Yeah, that makes sense. They say it’s women who get more caught up in the whole looking “at” people’s profiles and whatnot. Not to generalize or anything haha

    • BlackDiamonds

      This is my thought completely.

      • chameleonic

        your avi is REALLY pretty <3

      • CD

        Social media is cray haha