Unlike Kanye, I’m not a d-bag.
However, I have done some things that would definitely put me in d-bag territory. But despite my inclination towards d-bagerry on occasion, one thing that I cannot do is just breakup with a chick under duress.
I have a heart afterall.
Subject change.
Have you ever been in a relationship that you realized was tanking but you still didn’t want to let it go? Well what you need is a way to stop that inevitable breakup dead in it’s tracks. Luck for you, we here at VSB specialize in relationship longevity. Mind you. This all assumes that you are dealing with a person with a heart:
7 Ways to Stall A Breakup
1). Get pregnant
Now clearly this will only work for women since a man getting knocked up is just weird and guarantees nothing. Now gettin pregnant might stall you out for a little while, but it’s really a dumb idea. They might bounce and then you have 18 years (really probably 30 given this economy) to pick up the pieces (hustle Marsalis kazoo-taped-to-saxophone solo).
2). Get sick
Only a truly heartless bastard would dump a sick companion no matter how much they want to. Of course, once you get well they’re definitely out anyway so who wants their last days together to be full of Campbell’s and Vicks? Feel like crap AND get broke up with? Blower.
3). Death of a relative
Now I’m not saying you should kill anybody on your family. I’m just saying that should somebody die at the right time you may be able to squeeze a few more weeks in. Plus you get the chance to get sympathy points and you may be able to change their mind. Probably not–but what’s life without optimism?
4). Car accident
Folks really won’t break up with you after a car accident. That just makes them look bad. It doesn’t even have to be a major accident. A minor fender bender should do it. And you can do that on your own at home. There’s really no downside here aside from the car damage (hello insurance) and minor bruising. Of course you only get a one car accident reprieve.
5). Just say no
Seems dumb but y’all remember that Seinfeld episode, right? Of course after one party has ended the relationship, the one who won’t let go is more like a stalker and that could involve the police. But, you can’t make an omelete without breaking a few eggs, right?
6). Get them fired from their job
If they lose their job, my guess is that they probably wouldn’t want any more mental anguish. You could probably get a solid 2 to 3 more months out of that relationship. Of course they might also lean on you for money, liquor, and Lindt chocolates so it might not really be worth it after all.
7). Do something extremely nice
Take them to Tahiti, drive them to the moon, get them a lapdance from Beyonce, go to the Bronx and get him some Cambodian breast milk, etc. Nobody can break up with somebody after they’ve gone out of their way to be nice. Not right away, anyway. You’re still gonna get broke up with though so try not to blow all your dough.
Anyway, those are a few of the ways you can stall a breakup (without directly breaking any crimes), good people of VSB, what else you got?
-VSB P aka The Arsonist aka Tangle Jig P aka Giiiiiiiiiiirl, He a 3
This pic makes me giggle. Kudos. lol
and uhmmm I guess Jermaine Dupri didn’t get the message about breaking up with people after a death in the family?
@Selah,
Jermaine Dupri disgusts me. Clearly, I don’t know about a)their situation; b) who actually broke up with whom; c) what kind of person either of them are….So, really, I know nothing. But I’m still looking at Jermaine like he ain’t sh*t.
@charli skipp,
LOL! idk either, for all i know she mighta just got tired of his greasy azz and dropped him. but if that was the case it wouldn’t be as
funnywrong. lol@charli skipp, lol…i’m mad he disgusts you despite you admitting you know nothing about their entire situation.
you need a twizzler.
@Panama Jackson,
i just have a feeling….that everything’s not gonna be alright. i do need a twizzler. or some of those sour straws.
@Selah,
LOL! right. JD also didnt get the memo that his face is in generally rude health and he should consider reconstructive surgery.
@Gem of the Ocean,
lol… you’d think that after all the reconstructive surgery goin on in his [ex]girl’s family, he woulda been hopped on that train.
@Selah, She prolly dumped him. He couldnt argue with her after a loss in the family. It was coming, remember he threw up on her a few months ago
@Selah,
“This pic makes me giggle. Kudos. lol”
HAHA! I know! He looks SO distraught.
*Fresh Prince-voice* Mama NOOOO!
@Cheekie,
hahaha! i loves me some Fresh Prince!
@Selah,
You would be with good company hanging around me, then. lol I quote/reference that show like my life depends on it.
@Cheekie,
We must make a Chitown VSS meetup happen, Cheekie. We’d have some goodest times
@Luvvie,
I agree, girl! It’ll happen…sooner than later.
hahaha. my soon to be/should be ex-boyfriend keeps doing extra nice sh*t. so, everytime i intend to break up with him i always end up saying, “aw…..he’s just so nice…..ugh. da*nit!” it’s been like 4 months.
@charli skipp,
lmao. poor chile. He has you right where he wants you. (read: not leavin his azz in the dust.)
@charli skipp,
THIS comment is RUDE! I love it! LMAO we gon ask again in 6 months and u gon tell us he bought u something nice so yall still hanging in there.
@Luvvie,
“we gon ask again in 6 months”
no we’re not.
@The Champ,
Yeah u right. *shrugs*
@charli skipp, i’ve been giving him advice on the side.
@charli skipp,
*gasp*
FOUR MONTHS?! Dayum, you in breakup purgatory!
Good luck, girl. Much, much luck.
lol hmmmmm a few of my girlfriends are experiencing one or more of the above mentioned things. and oddly these things happened around the time each were saying “i think it’s time to re-evaluate this situation”.
so i’d say your list tends to work out. but i think it goes hand in hand with Champikins post form last week — i think these things would only work with when the ppl in the relationship actually LIKE each other. if i cant stand your @$$, a car accident wont prevent me from giving you the ax. i may (or may not) drop your mangled, bruised tail off at UPMC Presby but you need to call your mama to come pick you up once they patch you up.
@Gem of the Ocean,
lol! i can see the car accident one. But could you really dump someone after their brother dies? You wouldn’t even wait a week? I thnk i might wait a week. At least til the funeral is over. lol.
@Selah,
lmao i’d def hold out for a death in the immediate family. i’m not THAT rude.
@Gem of the Ocean,
You are also RUDE. I approve. He gon be in a coma and u gon whisper in his ear “Umm this isnt gonna work.” And walk out with ur head held high, knowing he cant beg.
@Luvvie,
Umm…that would actually be the perfect time to make an exit.
@V.E.G.,
You are evil.
@V.E.G., i actually do agree with you here. no point in both of y’all just waiting around. lol.
@Luvvie,
lol you are RUDE too. and i love it. but fa real fa real, i wouldn’t even park to go in. i’d just give a note to some one outside smoking to take to room 403b.
@Gem of the Ocean,
NOT 403b!
You ain’t sh*t.
@8th Wonder,
what?? i coulda just drove off. at least i had the courtesy to leave a note–”i quit you. oh btw, get better soon. xoxo”
@Gem of the Ocean,
A note w/ ur co-pay info on it. talmbout “help this brother out” LOL
@Gem of the Ocean,
“i think these things would only work with when the ppl in the relationship actually LIKE each other.”
I’m going to have to disagree on this one Gemmie. If you actually like each other, then breaking up isn’t an option right? Or are u saying like as in, I like you like a friend? Even still if you like someone, isn’t that the reason you continue to be around them?
If that is the case I agree. My ex recently went through a very trying time and though he and I didn’t end on the BEST of term, I still feel bad for him as a person. I’ve moved on and so these things wouldn’t win me back but I think had something bad like this happened towards the end of the break up, I may have put some thought into staying together. I don’t think my conscious would let me kick someone while they were already down.
@Ivy st.,
well this isnt about winning some one back. if you’re on the brink of breaking up with some one who you like, yet things just aren’t working out that way then it’s very possible that they may find little ways to keep you around. at least until you try to make another run.
i think it’s hard to break up with some one you like that maybe just isn’t “the one”. you dont wanna hurt their feelings or you get comfortable with them but know it’s not gonna work out in the long run. at least, that’s my experience.
@Ivy st., honestly, i still don’t even understand the whole “still liking a person” angle after a breakup. generally, i don’t ever speak to my ex’s ever again if i can help it.
in fact, most of my ex’s hate my guts. i like to keep it that way. makes for a pretty clean break.
@Panama Jackson,
Maybe my comment didn’t read correctly. If you like someone, there is no need to break up unless you find that they don’t like you. Chances are (and it has been my experience) that you break up because you no longer like each other (it’s not going anywhere).
As far as not talking to ex’s, everyone has to do what works for them. Unless you have been wronged in the relationship, there isn’t a reason to burn a bridge unless you think you might try to cross it again. Granted this is all relationship specific. If you are dating someone that isn’t comfortable with such behavior, then don’t do it. I tend not to date a$*holes, so an occasional hi on gchat years later is ok.
@Gem of the Ocean, if i cant stand your @$$, a car accident wont prevent me from giving you the ax.
i don’t believe you…you need more people.
you’re too nice for this.
@Panama Jackson,
hush.
@Panama Jackson,
I was thinking the same thing… waaay to nice my Gemmie is.
@Ivy St.,
i know some one who would disagree with you lol
and um….is we gone get to talk about lil mama?
@charli skipp,
RIGHT?? I think that most black folk were more surprised to see her on stage after Jay-Z’s performance than to see Ye do some more Ye sh*t.
@Selah,
exactly! kanye was neither here nor there. but when i looked up and saw lil mama’s dinosaur looking a*s up there lookin like she was about date-rape jay z, i said, “oh in the hell, no!” i da*n near broke my tivo machine.
@charli skipp, that Ye sh*t was not either here nor there…thought it isn’t SO surprising, seeing it in real time was highly uncomfortable. mostly cuz…it HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM.
usually he goes all ‘Ye when it involves ‘Ye sh*t. this time he just took out a little rabbit.
@Panama Jackson,
it WAS highly uncomfortable. i was looking around my house like…..for real? oh no! *sad face*
@charli skipp,
ugh
can we talk about her forehead and missing edges first?
@jana.love,
What can we say bout Lil Mama’s forehead and edges that hasn’t been said about Susan Taylor’s and Stevie’s?
Well, hers is extra bright, since she high yella. She looks like an Idea epitomized (aka a light bulb)
@Luvvie,
Lil Mama high yella?
I don’t think so.
Saddown.
@V.E.G.,
Yeah, the only thing high about ‘Lil Mama are her Zoolander cheeks.
@Luvvie, “She looks like an Idea epitomized (aka a light bulb)” this may be one the funniest things ever
@Luvvie,
She looks like an Idea epitomized (aka a light bulb)
hahahhahahahahahahah iCan’t with you!
@Luvvie, “She looks like an Idea epitomized”
ur killing me!!!!!!! this MUST be added to Luvvie’s dictionary of witty insults and tasty comebacks…
@charli skipp,
“Lil Mama” is now synonymous w/ making an uninvited random appearance. i.e. “I’m thinkin bout pulling a Lil Mama & going to this wedding I aint get invited. Then i’mo KANYE them for not inviting me”
@Luvvie,
yass…i need to lil mama myself up into the lobby of this company i want to work for that ain’t gave my resume a 2nd thought…hm…maybe it’s because i use phrases like, “ain’t gave my”….
@charli skipp,
walk up into HR and do my b boy stance
@charli skipp, are all awards shows now basically f*ckery seminars?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Yep,
@charli skipp,
You knows we must! That bish thought she was Jay-Z’s friend. I think Kanyeezy is taking away all the shine from this simple yet hilarious moment. I love how she did the “Yeah, you know what’s up” head-nodding like this was allll part of the plan. Heffa you ain’t a part of nuffin!
LMFAO…I mean she SWORE she belonged.
@Cheekie, Look at the end pose where she realized she was too far over to be believable and she moved in closer to Jay..
GIRL STOP. lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
AHAHAHAHA! I know, tryin’ to get into the frame.
FHU (F Her Upstaging)
@Cheekie, Girl right!
@Cheekie, there needs to be some kind of celebrity banishment board. you get but so many chances to be irritating before you have to go away for a few years.
lil mama’s first transgression was claiming to be the voice of the young people but looking like a 37 year old that smokes 4 packs a day. this vma stunt counts as strikes 2-8.
@Panama Jackson,
Yeah, she irritated me from the very first moment i heard her speak. She got this “tryin’ to be grown” vibe about her that has always irritated me, even when I was a kid. That arrogant ish…tryin’ to tell grown folks something when she knows NATHAN about anything. I was a mini 5 year old Cheekie talmbout, “This young whippersnappers betta get off my lawn”.
Seriously, though, I LOATHE little kids that don’t know their place. Maybe it’s from being raised by my grandma. Girl, stay in your place!
@Panama Jackson, LMAO! That is hilarious.
@Cheekie,
That bish thought she was Jay-Z’s friend. I think Kanyeezy is taking away all the shine from this simple yet hilarious moment.
That’s because the 7:30 entertainment shows could give two turds about Lil Mama. Sadly the poor girl may never catch a break again after this.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Ya know, that’s true and for good reason. I guess I gotta settle for the hilarious non-media folks that roasted her greatly.
*prays* Please let Mario Lopez play a clip of that during ABDC this week.
@Cheekie,
“Heffa you ain’t a part of nuffin!”
you know, this was actually the first working title of “the color purple”.
@The Champ,
LOL. You need to stop. I would love to see a title such as that on the NY Times Bestseller’s List or some mess. Lovely…
@charli skipp, why would anybody talk about lil mama. in fact…my guess is her little gargamel ass bumrushing the stage was her attempt to get folks to talk about her.
btw, she should NEVER ever in her life stand next to alicia keys again. its like her face went into 1080p HD mode where you can just see everything wrong while Alicia Keys just looked…well, like a perfect picture on a sunny day.
@Panama Jackson,
umm……alicia key’s legs……are very RUDE.
@charli skipp,
i’m just mad that she always dresses like she’s from the future.
@The Champ,
or from 15 years in the past.
Fall off Jermaine I read about them breaking up at least 2 weeks before MJ died
I just think people expected to see him during it but Anet was probably like No deals”
So we just gone pretend like today/ yesterday didn’t happen? No explanation or reference for the missing post?
@shay_d_lady,
lol! it’s just so easy to take shots at JD.
But uh yea… i;m kinda wonderin bout yesterday too… I musta came here a billion times to see if the post was up. ALL.BAD.
@Selah, word?
@Panama Jackson,
my classes on monday are boring azz hell. if i didn’t visit blogs, what would i do? Actually learn something??????
@Selah, i feel you. that’s how i feel about kool-aid.
@shay_d_lady,
So we just gone pretend like today/ yesterday didn’t happen? No explanation or reference for the missing post?
i love how you just took it straight to the meat and potatoes. sometimes you just gotta kanya* on that a-s. (did i do it right, luvvie? lol)
*i will be using the old aisha tyler pronunciation from hence forth.
@shay_d_lady,
So we just gone pretend like today/ yesterday didn’t happen? No explanation or reference for the missing post?
*putting flame suit on*
Am I the only one who really didn’t give a rats ass what Kanye did? Granted it was very assholish, but that my friends, was NOT out of character.. Reminds me of when Chris Rock said, “there is nothing that a white man will say to me, that will EVER catch me off guard..(regarding racist shit)”
@Officer Ricky, my post wasnt in reference to Kanye…LOL
@shay_d_lady,
I thought that was just me lol…
@BeBeLaStrange311, me too!
@shay_d_lady,
“So we just gone pretend like today/ yesterday didn’t happen? No explanation or reference for the missing post?”
Yeah its like the Pink Gay elephant in the room rocking a cropped top and a tiny hat.
@Luvvie, i can’t be the only one who wonders if gay elephants have a lisp.
@Panama Jackson,
I can’t be the only one that pictured Perez Hilton as the gay elephant…
@Panama Jackson,
Why don’t we just ask Andre Leon Tally? He’s as close to a gay elephant as it gets.
Unless you know something about Babar that I don’t.
@8th Wonder,
I hate you right now…
CTFU!!!!
@Panama Jackson,
Of course gay elephants have a lisp. This is scientific fact. And by fact, I meant theory. And by theory, I mean wishful thinking on my part b/c it amuses me so
@shay_d_lady,
Didn’t Kanye also break up with his then S.O. (the model chick that’s not Amber Rose) soon after his mother died? Or was it before? I remember it happening around the same time span.
@shay_d_lady, So we just gone pretend like today/ yesterday didn’t happen? No explanation or reference for the missing post?
what happened yesterday?
@Panama Jackson,
Boy, you betta get on Jay Leno and ‘splain yoself!
*frown*
@Cheekie, i feel you. i might actually be able to cry!
and then perform with an overly excited 40 year old and a chick who can’t sing for sh*t.
@Panama Jackson,
I saw that performance last night.
Ouch.
@Panama Jackson,
I’m still mad at Rhianna for straight jackin’ Nelly Fertado’s voice.
@Panama Jackson,
To tell ya the truth, I only tuned in to see the interview. I went *click” when they were about to perform and decided to look at The Weather Channel.
LMFAO @ Monk sayin’ Rihanna jacked Nelly Furtado’s voice. Never thought of that. Truth. I still have nostalgia for “I’m Like a Bird” by the way…lol
@Cheekie,
Trust– I tripped out when I heard she was making music with Timbland.
I was like “I’m like a Bird” Nelly Furtado? You sure it’s not “Hot in Herre” Nelly?
@shay_d_lady,
So we just gone pretend like today/ yesterday didn’t happen? No explanation or reference for the missing post?
That’s why I e-love you, Shay!
@shay_d_lady,
So we just gone pretend like today/ yesterday didn’t happen?
yup
For me, if a dude can stick around until real close to Halloween I can’t break up with him. Why? Because once we have made it past Halloween, we are officially in the holiday season. Only a real arse would mess up Thanksgiving, the Lil Baby Jesus’ birthday, & NYE.
@Ms. Smart,
Another very good point. If you break up during those times then you’ll ruin the holidays for that person for the rest of their lives (possibly.) If you have to break up do it in mid/late January. Please don’t wait until February or you’ll be forever known as the Grinch That Stole Valentine’s Day.
@Ms. Hall, And if either person’s birthday is in January, you’re pretty much stuck in the relationship until after Easter. Because like you said, you can’t break up in Feb! Then Easter is right around the corner. Next thing you know, you’ve been in the relationship an extra 6-7 months!
@Ms. Smart,
Not Easter. “What? You gone leave me and dishonor the resurrection of Christ? Do you hate God?” LOL.
@Ms. Hall,
lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Ms. Smart, can’t really buy that logic…there’s ALWAYS a reason not to breakup with somebody. hell, the only month with no discernible holidays is august…but i mean, its the end of summer and who wants to ruin the end of summer for somebody??
@Panama Jackson,
i concur. It won’t be their last birthday/christmas/thanksgiving/labor day, so just end it. Now, if it does turn out to be their last holiday well then you’ll just have to live with knowing you’re an azz. lol
@Selah, It might not be their last but if I break up with him, I ruin that season. Or maybe I’m giving myself too much credit.
@Ms. Smart, you are. Chances are that person rebounds with the quickness just to be booed up for the holidays. Or that dude is just smutting out the leftovers.
That whole “be booed up for the winter, single for the summer” thing always killed me. Folks wanna “have their fun” in the summer…then hurry up and go steady with someone in time for Thanksgiving…this rel’ship is ridden out until Valentine’s Day gifts are exchanged. Then everyone gets cut off and the cycle begins again.
Um…yeah…where were y’all yesterday?!
@Smiley Face, I was right here. where were you?
@Panama Jackson,
Nuh uh!! I didn’t see you!
@Smiley Face, you were looking with the wrong eyes.
Champ and Panama were conducting a social experiment. Cut the junkies off of the drug and see what they do in the meantime.
Do you really want to be the person that someone stays with because they feel bad (re-evaluate the self esteem!) lol
Okay, I think tears work for women…. (and like someone said above, only if someone cares about u). Men get weak when a woman starts crying.
If he sees another man lusting after his woman. Example: Man works with girlfriend. Man calls woman at night; tells her things are going too fast and they need to end it. Woman cries…. comes to work the next day looking FIRE BOMB 10. Man re-evaluates his decision and they get back together (it’s worked for me!!!)
@Nicki Sunshine, tears never worked for me.
unless it was tears for fears, in which case, party on.
@Panama Jackson, LMAO!!!!!! you are cold blooded.
Strategy #1 is awful for the men who are the victims.
Ask me how I know. These baby’s mamas
take
no
prisoners.
Guys don’t know if women are **actually** popping that birth control pill every day — we just want a plausible reason to forego the condom. I tried to trust a big b_tt and a smile, but ladies these days are vicious!
@inHIcotton,
“I tried to trust a big b_tt and a smile, but ladies these days are vicious!”
But the song says, “NEVER trust a big ….” Were you awake during the 90s?
@inHIcotton,
My attitude is that until marriage, the pill is just a backup for the condom. Until we’ve made that final commitment, the cynic says you’re still at risk for STDs.
Technically you are after tying the knot, but that’s why the term “justifiable” exists.
@kamakula,
Final commitment=marriage? Married women are still contracting STD’s last I read. Either u trust the person you are with or you don’t. If you are willing to sleep with the same person for an extended period of time, shouldn’t you trust them? If you think someone is crazy enough to try and trap you with a baby, maybe that person is not for u to be messing around with.
@Ivy st.,
Read my final sentence, I got you covered.
@kamakula,
*pops outta nowhere* MESSAGE!!!
@Luvvie,
Hey, long time no see. When do I get my next cam show?
I prefer quick and painless to slow and agonizing…
@OrangeStar616,
I think quick can be just as painful but better for you in the long run.
@Ivy st., True it may hurt this way a bit but FAR less than dragging something out and having to watch it die etc….. OUCH..the latter is brutal
@OrangeStar616, quick is like ripping off a bandaid or jumping head first into cold water…gets the pain out of the way expeditiously…
that being said I’m notorious for doing stuff the slow and agonizing way… from break ups to getting into water to taking off bandaids…
I stayed in my last relationship an entire year too long…and sometimes it takes me 2-3 days to take off a bandaid
@klysha,
“…and sometimes it takes me 2-3 days to take off a bandaid”
this is hilarious to me for some reason. actually, for two reasons
@The Champ,
1. Because it takes would take even longer to take a band aid off
and 2. when you take it off, you’d probably scream louder (high pitch MJ scream) than she would.
@klysha, LOL…. a moment of courage and its done!!!!
Anticipating having to do something thats gonna hurt you or somebody else is THE WORST, just do it and be done with it.
@OrangeStar616, After my experiences with relationships and band-aids I’d have to say that’s true…because similar to prolonging the removal of band-aids…when I prolonged a break-up I just ended up with a whole bunch of useless stuff hanging loose and only a little bit of glue keeping me attached
Sick needs planning though. Short term e,g, ebola, malaria, h1n1 won’t work as you buy yourself only a coupla days (weeks if you have a relapse). Neither will social diseases, nor ED or long term ones since that’s now 20 to life and they’ll exit pre-onset of symptoms. Not too debiliating- as you can’t have secks then, and what’s the point? Not too minor, as they’ll leave you for say, sinusitis as it ain’t that serious. Still haven’t got a sick for this situation, but web md will provide I know…
@wanjiru,
I’d think that the whole thing about getting sick would be to show certain symptoms, but not actually declare anything. Its kinda like the controversial scene from Tropic Thunder about declaring being mentally challenged vs something else like “maybe he’s just slow”.
If you come out and say “I’ve got the flu”, then they’ll say I can just prolong the breakup for 2-3 days. But if you’re showing flu-like, stress-like, and whatever else symptoms for a while, but not exactly calling it any of these things, then I’d think that its got more of a chance at working.
But then again, I thought the whole principle behind the breakup was about not having a heart and getting out of it by any means necessary. So you may see some emotions like “aye, das not my problem. As of 2 mins ago, we ain’t together no more”.
Pretend you won the lottery. Act real surprised when the winning letters are rjdnff and you have 173393.
Stalk/ befriend a rock star (not Kanye)… invite them to a private party 2 months down the road
Rig an election (presidential works best), revel in the spotlight…
Fake a kidnapping
And so on and so forth. Carry on.
@wanjiru,
Fake a kidnapping
trust me, this doesn’t work.
neither does extortion
“3). Death of a relative
Now I’m not saying you should kill anybody on your family. I’m just saying that should somebody die at the right time you may be able to squeeze a few more weeks in. Plus you get the chance to get sympathy points and you may be able to change their mind. ”
It is so sad that this is soooo true. I know I wouldn’t be able to leave.
@Ms. Hall, yeah, me neither. it would just be so wrong on so many levels…
Seriously?
Why prolong the inevitable?
@miss t-lee,
Yup, I’s agree. See below.
@miss t-lee, why not?
@Panama Jackson,
I’m from the school of just “get it over with”. Why prolong the bullish when it will eventually happen? Just throw it out there and deal with it.
I wouldn’t want anyone just holding on for any of the reasons above, and I wouldn’t want to have stay with anyone for any of the above mentioned reasons.
If any of the reasons did happen, say death in the family/person getting sick, you could still be there for the person in some capacity, but not be IN a relationship with them.
@miss t-lee,
“Why prolong the inevitable?”
Because its bout to be winter. *shrugs*
@Luvvie,
I guess…if I had a winter like ya’ll have winter…lmao!!!
@miss t-lee,
Hey now, don’t be teasin’ us about her dayum El Nino winters!
*salty*
Umn…learn some new tricks..If you execute them well…it’ll prolly buy you a little extra time..both men and women like that new. new. it’s probably the reason you’re about to get kicked to the curb anyway
@Happy Meal,
“learn some new tricks.”
YES, Exactly! I think you have to do that anyway to keep a relationship fresh.
@Ivy st.,
I was wondering when someone would mention this…. That is how i got this 8 yr old of mine.. I was going to break up with her father, and then he flipped the script on my a$$ one night. He gave me some holiday pikk on a regular day!
That was the night I concieved “lil’ poot-worm”… Then his father got killed in an 18-wheeler accident… He lost his job… Then he recieved $$ from his fathers estate ( definitly couldn’t leave him then, especially after I carried his a$$ for 6 months ).. I planned a trip to come to New Orleans to visit my parents, and never went back. If I would have never left, we would probably still be together today. He prolonged the break-up for about 4 years!
@Lanieanna,
GAHTTTTTDDDAAANNNGG DAWG!
@Lanieanna,
holiday pikk? was he rocking ornaments on his wang or some sh*t?
@The Champ,
I really don’t know about this. Maybe I’m just cold hearted, but all these things do is turn the breaker upper into a cheater and instead of prolonging the relationship, they just increase the heartbreaks, especially #1. I know dudes who on the initial hearing of something like “I missed my …” will just straight up ignore all a girls calls/texts/voicemails. I mean, unless you’ve got ways to MAKE him spend time with her and take her phone calls and stuff, then that dude’s about to become a playa.
@afterthought, my girlfriend actually said the same thing. she said that the pregnant thing wouldn’t work b/c so many dudes just go AWOL upon hearing that the girl’s pregnant.
@afterthought,
welcome and sh*t
Hmm…
I really don’t know if I would wanna prolong the inevitable. The whole thing is I wouldn’t want to keep myself on that emotional rollercoaster.
Anyways, I’m in a situation right now where this fool don’t wanna answer phone calls but likes to show up and just be around lol…I don’t know what to make of it really…
…*sigh* I’ll just hang around til somebody dies or something then break up w/ him
@Pop Rocks,
“Anyways, I’m in a situation right now where this fool don’t wanna answer phone calls but likes to show up and just be around lol…I don’t know what to make of it really…”
This is a throat punch situation.
@miss t-lee,
If he wasn’t just a tad too big I might LOL nah…he’s cool…this is a litle phase we got going on…
@Pop Rocks,
o_O
@Pop Rocks,
welcome and sh*t
@The Champ,
Thanks and sh*t
LMFAO
Yesterday, I thought ya’ll broke up with us.
@Cheekie,
LMAO!! Okay!!! I was sad
“Anyway, those are a few of the ways you can stall a breakup (without directly breaking any crimes), good people of VSB, what else you got?”
In reality, it’s actually heartless to string along someone when you know you ain’t in it ‘no mo’. Don’t prolong it! It’s torture for both you and them because they will start to sense you’re backing away. But you asked for an addition:
- Make sure you were born on the day you suspect they will dump you. Getting dumped on your birthday? Jeremih probably doesn’t approve.
@Cheekie,
Jeremih probably doesn’t approve.
You’re right! He’s all about dumping something else…all up in the…
Whoops…too early in the day to be talking like that…
@K to the…,
“Whoops…too early in the day to be talking like that…”
HAHA…is it though? Methinks it’s never too early on VSB…where WuDaMan runs amok.
@Cheekie, now you know we can’t quit you.
@Panama Jackson,
Panama, I swear…
@Cheekie, you swear what?
@Panama Jackson,
It’s a play on words from the last line of Brokeback Mountain (which you sorta quoted and reminded me of) where Ennis says, “Jack, I swear…”. But, I doubt you’ve seen it because that would be [infinite percentage here] gay.
But if you HAVE seen it? Good for you!
@Cheekie,
bwahahah!! i caught that!!! Maybe because i just watched it yesterday. And uhm. I don’t like ENNIS!! He had Jack all hopeful yet heartbroken and such!!
Im starting a side bar and roughing the thread today (I hope you dont mind too much Panama and Champ.)
Now that i think everyone has had time to listen and critique…..
Blueprint 3 Vs. Only Built for Cuban Linx II.
Which is better and why?
@ESQuared, sidebar deez.
joking.
though i still think its fairly boring overall, BP3 has brown on me (well the non-timbo songs anyway) though its more for jay’s verses than the music. as it stands, the only joints i mess with for real are, “what they talking ’bout”, “thank you”, “doa” “we run this town”, and “already home”
i do not like “empire state of mind” (though it seems i’m the SOLE minority on that one) or “as real as it gets” (though Jay’s second verse is dope as hell). i keep listening cuz its jay.
with that said, ob4cl2 MURDERS that joint. and i’m not even a wu fan like that. full disclosure, i dont even care for the original ob4cl joint. but i was never a wu fan. i’m a west coast cat music wise and the super dirty sound didn’t do anythign for me. but on a musical level, that album is insane. i listened to it a few times and was blown away by the flows, music, delivery, etc. plus, who knew Dre could perfectly craft Wu beats?
i do think aside from the intro, the first like 7 joints ain’t so dope, but once it hits “new wu” it goes into en fuego mode.
this is Rae everyday…
@Panama Jackson,
“i dont even care for the original ob4cl joint. ”
Blasphemy!!!!! LOL
ESquared to answer your question I’m going with OB4CL2 because I’ve listened to it non stop for a few weeks now.
Jay-Z? Only twice.
That intro kils me too Panama. ugh…
@miss t-lee, / @Panama Jackson
ok im about to GO IN on jay-z. We have people out here talking about Jay and his growth and such. for the MOST part his verses go back to the same kind of rhyme scheme that you might have heard in the EARLIEST stages of rap. (im not taking a duce on early rap either im just saying you cant talk evolution when hes doing something thats been done when the word play isnt even that clever) Im not gonna sit here and fake like their arent some hot joints on here but if this is the culmination and apex of the artist and legend known as Jay-z this album could have (and maybe even should have) been left on the cutting room floor.
My recent revalation was that its unfair to compare a new jay-z album to THE Reasonable Doubt (in the same way a new NaS album shouldnt be compared to THE Illmatic.) but come on now, if i compare it to American Gangster it just dosent stack up.
PS. Kanye had the dopest verse on “Run This Town” prolly his dopest verse since graduation (cause i still dont know what the “i need to change my tampon album” {808′s and Heartbreak} was REALLY about.
RaeKwon however released a FANTASTIC album, Classic? hmmmm ill leave that up to time to tell but in terms of how the album is structured its nearly identical to the original (starts off kind of idk, slow? in the begining and about midway through its like some kind of Hanibal mask gets taken off and dude is biting necks off and tossing lyrical darts)
Im gonna say though that “Pyrex Vision” and “Sonnys Missing” are story telling as good as “Maxine” or the original “North Star” and to me thats saying ALOT.
And not caring about the ORIGINAL? hmmmm i lost a little love for you on that on sir.
@ESQuared, you have to realize that at that time, i was all about the West. in fact, i was only pretty much listening to anything that Dr. Dre did. I was all about Snoop and them and of course the Outkasts and other southern stuff b/c i’m a southerner, after all.
one of myhomeboys rode SO hard for the Wu but I just couldn’t get into it at all. i’ve liked songs but hell it took me years to understand why masta killa or ugod was even in the group. not to mention cappadonna who has had like one dope song ever (slang editorial).
just not a wu fan. i’m a bigger ghost fan than i am of anybody in the wu.
@ESQuared,
as resident wu stan, its no mystery where my feelings about these albums lie. cuban links 2 is the best wu solo album since 2001 (digital bullet), while the blueprint 3 is…well.
lemme put it this way. jay-z is a 40 year old music mogul worth nine figures, and the blueprint 3 sounds like it was produced by a 40 year old music mogul worth 9 figures. like, if mark cuban was black and from brooklyn and happened to be a pretty decent rapper, this it what his album would sound like.
its not a terrible album at all (ironically, “empire state of mind” is my favorite track) but i think we just have to get used to the fact that we’re in the “jordan on the wizards” part of jay-z career.
@ESQuared, BP3 is polished as in luxurious where as, OB4CL2 is a far more grittier cd..depends on what mood you are in, both are solid efforts IMO…….Altho neither is touching the originals but thats a given.
cambodian breast milk from the bronx though? lol. classic dave chappelle. rotflmao.
i’ve experienced number 5. i tried to break up with this chick one time and she just said no.
me: “this is over. i can’t do it anymore.”
her: “no it’s not”
me: “i’m serious. i’m breaking up with you.”
her: “so what do you want for dinner tonight?”
@Tunde,
That’s just like that episode of Seinfeld…lmao!!!
@Tunde, i’ve never experienced this but that would leave me in such a state of disarray.
like what the hell do you do in that situation??
@Panama Jackson,
Leave. lol Actions speak louder than words. That’s what they taught me in elementary school and sh*t.
@Selah, and what if they follow you? show up at your crib. all bad. what do you do then? restraining order?
@Tunde,
Smith and Wesson, perhaps?
@miss-t-lee,
Twin, hush.
@Tunde,
I’m with t-lee. lol.
@Tunde,
lmao i’ve had this happen to me as well.
@Tunde,
Were you afraid? I would be if a guy did that to me.
@Voiceofreason, this was in college. so i simply called campus security.
@Tunde,
LMAO! Did they come and get her? How did she react?
@Voiceofreason, when security showed up she tried to say that it was her apartment and i was in her spot. the officer wasn’t stupid. he asked what the apartment number was. when she couldn’t tell him he escorted her out. lol
@Tunde,
Ok LMAO @ “No its not”. The h*ll u gon tell me I cant break up w/ u. I’da been like “I’m moving to Fiji.”
@Luvvie, lol. that might not have worked out too well when she saw me on campus the next semester. lol
Keep going out of town. It’s hard to break up with someone when they’re out of town. If it’s someone you like, you don’t want to do it over the phone and seem like a heartless b@stard.
@V Renee, wouldn’t that just give them more ammo? like, you’re never here for me?
MISS T-LEE ALERT!
***I just bought tickets to Maxwell’s concert in Chicago from an attorney at the law firm I work at!!!!***
*does Miss T-Lee jig*
October 8th, here I come (pause…because…it’s Maxwell, duh)!!!
@Cheekie,
You gon’ have funnnnn!!
YAY!!!!!
I’m trying to hustle up some Jay-Z tix as we speak.
The tix are a bit crazy for the venue where it will be held at (read:a sh*thole).
I might just say eff it, and see GFK again…his show never gets old.
@miss t-lee,
I’m trying to hustle up some Jay-Z tix as we speak.
The tix are a bit crazy for the venue where it will be held at (read:a sh*thole).
There is the rub… I kinda thought $55 was a bit low for a Jay-Z concert not being familiar with ATX venues et al…
@Sula,
That is the price for arena seats, the floor seats are a bit more. Plus, they haven’t announced any other acts with him…IDK.
My brother is going, but I’m gonna sit this one out.
The venue is not the best, but is the biggest one here that’s not general admission.
My girl’s boyfriend should’ve talked to Panama before he broke up with her. The @$$hole broke up with her the day she graduated from law school which is also the day before she had to start studying for the NY Bar. He was in law school too so he knew better! That’s why he has two Harvard degrees with no job and lives with his mama.
@Voiceofreason,
OUCH KABIBBLE!
“(hustle Marsalis kazoo-taped-to-saxophone solo)”
Hahaha! I’ve reenacted this on several occasions. Sober.
@Voiceofreason, that scene never gets old.
@Voiceofreason,
LMAO I even do the leg scoot that goes with it. Hustle man was hilarious.
LOL After doing all of this, can I get a refund if it still doesn’t work out?
How do you even find these pictures?!
On number 5 – Just Say No To Breakingup. I … kinda did this once:
Him: blah blah blah We should break up.
Me: Yeahhh. Um… No. I’m not ready for that.
Him: What?!
Ha! Oh his face was priceless. I called him the next day and we amicably broke up, but in the moment, I was desparately grasping and ignoring that we sucked as a couple. Totally thought of the Seinfeld episode right after my breakup rebuttal. Lame.