2012 New Year’s Resolutions – The VSB Edition

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome baaaaaaack.

We around the VSB offices hope that you and yours had a most plentiful, restful, and bountiful Christmas and New Year’s. For some of us it was the best of times and it was the worst of times. If you had the worst of times then I feel sorry for your mother. No, that’s not true.

*hug*

As is customary in western society, we (the people) usually come up with resolutions for the new year. We usually call them…New Year’s Resolutions. Granted, very few of us actually follow through on any of them past January 15, but it is nice to ponder a higher conscientiousness and what not. Especially since all of our friends on Love & Hip-Hop are the anti-thesis of higher consciousness. Seriously, I hate everybody on that show with boobs. Kimbella, Yandy, Chrissy (I know y’all love her, I do not), Teirra (how the f*ck do you spell her name? Damn Detroiters), Emily (can somebody clear this up for me – Noxema – is she supposed to be attractive?), blah blah blah…

I’d like to throw a bottle at everybody involved at least once.

Moving on.

Resolutions. I figure that it’s both cliche and positive to resolute some sh*t. Like a desk. I love National Treasure. So here are some resolutions for a G like myself. Beware, some of these may not be your traditional resolutions. Like Omarion told us in 2004, I’m gon’ change…

1. I resolve to never end up dating a woman that would likely end up on a reality television show. I realize that I’m not famous enough to cause a woman I’m seeing to be asked to be on Blogger Boos, but my goal is to make sure that should such a show come to fruition, in 2012, nobody I’m associated with would be asked. Two words and a symbol: Cease & desist. You may think that’s a dumb goal. I’d tell you more, but its too early in the year to go into it.

2. I resolve to go to more clubs where “Round of Applause” is played. Again, might sound retarded but in 2011, I spent a whole lot of time in niche clubs where ignorant music was frowned upon by people wearing hemp, cargo pants, and graphic tees that said “Dilla Saved My Life”. And while that may be true (though the irony is absolutely uncanny), I’ve got to get back to places where Lil Wayne and Jeezy are on the menu. Do you know much my soul yearns to watch an entire club clap in unison when “Round of Applause” comes on? You may not know my pain. But it’s real.

By the way, I honestly think that song should be the Grammy winner for Song of the Millenium.

3. I’ve really got to reduce the number of “you ain’t sh*t” emails I receive. <—- not lying. Of course, I may receive a few merely for writing this as a resolution but hey, you win some you lose some. Can a brotha grow? Then again, that would imply that any of them were warranted. Maybe they were, maybe they weren’t. I’ll just do better in 2012. Either way, I’m done. I’m tired. I can’t fight no more. I quit. I’ve decided to join a monastery to get my life right.

I didn’t join a monastery.

4. Execute.While murdering a few people here and there might make my liver quiver and my soul shake, I’m actually talking about the game. We have so much good stuff planned for VSB for 2012 I’m almost giddy for the possibilities. But nothing can happen unless we make it pop off ’round here. 2011 was such a monster year for us and the entire VSB community (seriously, y’all are part of all it with us) that its going to be hard to top. But we have no choice. Which is part of the reason I just started this year off like this with the softball resolution post.

We’ve got to put it all on paper so that we can all revisit this post during the course of the year to make sure that we’re on track. Hoes.

Flying coyote.

So, good people of VSB, let’s start off the year with some resolutions. What new year’s resolutions do you want us to hold you accountable for in 2012? Spill it.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

For all the DC heads: Come out to Liv Nightclub this Saturday, January 7, 2012, as VSB x Shine On Me x Just Cause Events bring you 2012′s first installment of Reminisce, the old school hip-hop/r&b party. You partied hard for a fee for NYE, now it’s time to party for free. Free before 11pm ($10 after), open bar from 10-11pm, and no dress code. Come party with Panama Jackson and dance the night away, sweat out your perm lacefront, and celebrate good times. C’mon. Peep the Facebook invite here.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    Nada.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      of all the gin joints in all the world…this was the deepest.

      good job.

      nice headphones.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        The old school headphones put a smile on my face.

  • naturalista88

    My only resolution is to be the best person I can be, no matter the obstacles that come my way.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      did you take that from a Hallmark greeting card?

      just kidding.

      *hi-five*

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Since you put it out on the internets. Be very clear on what being the best person you can be is. Sometimes what we think it is turns out not to be it, then life surprises the shit out of us by teaching us something different.

  • Iamnotakata

    I don’t make “resolutions”…,.Resolutions are for the birds…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      angy birds, perhaps?

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    I have this strong yearning to watch Blogger Boos right now. There needs to be a reality show about bloggers by now and this would be a great one to start with. lol

    P, you’re right… You haven’t lived til you’ve seen an entire club do a standing ovation of Round of Applause. I haven’t lived yet. And I’m even more surprised at myself because most of the clubs I frequent ARE on that ignant ish. Just haven’t been out to them since that song been on rotation. Imma rectify this on the ASAP, tip.

    I already wrote my twenny twelve goals at the eCrib, but here are some more resolutions:

    1. Pinch more cheeks. Beat my 2011 record.
    2. Have my cheeks pinched more.
    3. Use my cheeks more.

    There may or may not be a theme there. Sense it?

    • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

      I don’t follow. Elaborate.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        You follow me on Twitter. That’ll do (pig).

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        I’m with Malik. I stopped reading good in 2011.

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          Maybe that should be your 2012 resolution then, booboo.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            booboo deez.

            • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              You is nasty. #VSBafterdark

    • http://magnetforfoolishness.wordpress.com Magnet for Foolishness

      Is the theme that you will do #3 to begin the round of applause, lol?!

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        LOL, I was thinking the same thing. Sounds like a great resolution.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        This comment wins the internets.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Woot! Woot! lol

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      i too would like to watch blogger boos.

      -esp featuring pj and cheekie-

      ugh. i resolve to master strikethrough on vsb in 2012. HA!

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        LMFAO. Gchat strikethrough is a bit lost in translation with HTML strikethrough. ;)

  • aceklub

    Yo as much as folks hate on Waka desire to major in geometry if he went to college and his tonka truck rhymes, round of applause and his last track with Wale were bangers. You can’t deny it if you tried. I could imagine partying inside Dream/Love Nightclub in DC and Round of Applause played. The unison with that two clap would make you believe there is a marching band in there.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      Ya, you can’t get too analytic with songs clearly made for dancing in the club or in your car. Also people like him; he seems like your average guy.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Dude, I’m convinced that Waka Flocka Flame is really an idiot savant who already HAS a geometry degree. Besides, whats wrong with majoring in geometry anyway. That ninja likes angles. Nothing wrong with angles. In fact…

      *round of applause* for Waka.

      • That Ugly Kid

        I like songs like “Dance (Azz)” and “Round of Applause” for the same reasons. When women hear it, they go nuts. Next thing you know, the same chick that wanted to punch you in the scrotum two songs ago is now grindin’ all up on you. What’s even better, she brought her big breasted friend (I’m talkin DDs here, which by Man Law, are codenamed “Sun Blockers”) who also wants to grind you as well. If you’re lucky, they are were skirts. And if you’re a dude like me, this is probably going to be the closest thing to having a threesome. Rejoice…

        • That Ugly Kid

          wearing* skirts

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          you know…i was worried about where you were going with the “if you’re lucky, they are wearing skirts…”

          that had all kinds of TMI/call the police potential

  • That Ugly Kid

    1. When trying to date a female and she tells me that she’s stuck trying to decide between me and the other dude (who’s an asshole) vying for her affection (read:panties), just leave. I know at that point, I already lost. And it pisses me off. Not the rejection, I can handle that. But I can’t help get mad at all the time and money I wasted on her. That dollar that I spent buying your d*mn McDouble…could’ve been gas money. Or it could’ve went to the purchase of the Easy Bake Oven I’ve always wanted.

    2. Hit up the clubs here in Chicago more. I’ve never had a one night stand. Ever And I’m 21 years old. That has GOT to be a violation in some part of the Man Law book. I seem to have this nasty habit of getting into relationships and remaining faithful, only sleeping with the one chick. Again…red flag.

    3. Maybe go back to the Marine Corps. I miss my rifle. I called her Roxy Reynolds.

    4. Be more open with my emotions. I know my homie Drake (one of my fav rappers) gets clowned for it a lot. But I don’t care.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      good list.

      and your number 1 would save a lot of people a lot of unnecessary pisstivity if they followed that. fortunately for therapists…folks are stupid.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Gold list. God bless you for wanting to serve our country again.

      *walks away*

  • JB

    Welcome back VSB! I know you guys live up north so let me just say they wore that song OUT down here in Atlanta. Lawd Jeebus spare me

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      They play it here…it gets burn on the radio, but just not enough.

      • http://twitter.com/fixedwater fixedwater

        Does it get played here. See I clearly don’t listen to enough radio or something. I went to a PJ (pajama) party a few weeks ago and had NO IDEA WTH was going on when this song came on. I had never heard it before. I felt really old.
        So that’s my resolution, to somehow maintain one foot in ratchetville so I can know WTH is going on.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          that’s a good goal. do better.

          • Justmetheguy

            +1

  • Chanelle

    My goals never really change- save money and lose 15lbs. That’s about it. Im just really lazy and these will continue to be my goals into 2013 (so I guess I’ve given up before jan 15)
    Now to the important questions: How do you feel about olivia on this show? Do you think olivia can sing? Do you hate the show because Jim Jones is involved? Does Jim Jones mother remind you of kiesha cole mama frankie? Do you follow crissy’s mole on twitter? Does fabolous know who emily is?

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I’ve gotten too deep into this show. LOL, I think JJ’s mother and Frankie are related or they ran in the same circles. I think Olivia can sing and I like her story of trying to get big; at least it keeps the “hip hop” part of the show. I want Emily to get it together; dude blatantly cheated on you and ain’t wifed you in a decade- do better ma’am. Money isn’t everything. You mad at Kimbella but you “dating” him? I hope it’s scripted.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Let me tell you, I’ve been trying to decide if I’m going to do a VSB synopsis of this show b/c really…them broads annoy me. But let me answer some of those questions…Olivia is the most irrelevant ninja on the planet. Her manager crying b/c he wants folks to know her how he does…simp move. My God, he must be the worst talent scout on the planet. Hell, he said that Erica Mena chick…couldn’t sing but she could. Next ninja.

      Jim Jones is a real n*gga. Everything women hate about men is what Jim Jones is. He actually has begun to entertain me for all the wrong reasons. He sucks at communicating. He avoids. He does his own thing. He’s ridiculous for ridiculous sake.

      I’m convinced that Jim Jones momma and Keisha Cole’s momma are first cousins.

      And yo, I know women love Chrissy, but I can’t stand her. Though I can’t wait to see her yank Yandy next week. And no, Fab does not know who Emily is.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        “Hell, he said that Erica Mena chick…couldn’t sing but she could.”

        I was sitting there with major side-eye at him because her voice was as “impressive” as Olivia’s, actually. *sits under shady tree whilst sippin’ on tea*

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          That was a WTF moment for sure. Especially when it said “it ain’t good but… it ain’t bad”- ninja WTF is bad then?

      • GirlSixx

        Am I the only one who peeped how dude just basically threw that “Look Bish take this cartier rock and shut the F up for another 9 years” at her, no knee dropping or nothing..

        Just me, huh??? okay. lmaooooo

        LOL

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          Yes! He didn’t put it on her finger and when she asked him to he did it with one hand with the other hand scratching his head and sh*t. It was romantic how he showed up- then he just killed it.

          • GirlSixx

            Laughing @ scatching his head and sh*t….

            He ain’t stupid though he knows he just bought himself another 5 – 6yrs before Chrissy starts barking again.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yeah, i actually got a post idea b/c of that wacksauce proposal. thats the problem. there’s so much non-sense i want to write about b/c of that show.

          • GirlSixx

            Looking forward to it.

            Chrissy is going to become what I call a “Forever Fiancee” which to me personally is 1 step above a “Wifey”

          • ScoutF

            My second time posting (I love to lurk when am trying not to study)……and I came to ask Panama ….PLEASE WRITE ABOUT THIS SHOW! :D

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          That proposal was SUCH a STFU gesture. Because of the mumbling and whatnot, I barely heard anything he said, but I did hear “marry me” in there somewhere. Which he said as a throwaway line like he was asking her if she wanted to have lunch later.

          • GirlSixx

            That’s how I took it.

            lol

      • Amber

        Ok I don’t really watch L&HH nor Atlanta Housewives but I catch an episode every once in awhile. And since nothing was on last night I watched L&HH and I actually like Chrissy and I was thinking that Jim’s mom reminded me of Keisha’s mom while watching. Just something a little crackheadish about her.

        I’m so tired of Olivia and her manager especially when they talk about how pretty and talented she is and they don’t understand why she isn’t making it. There are millions of pretty and talented singers out there who don’t make it. Life isn’t fair. It’s called the x factor and I’m not talking about the tv show. To make it sometimes you need something else.

        Panama, you are right about Jim Jones because that was a bad proposal. Did he actually say anything beyond just standing over her and giving her a ring?!

        Something about Yandy just bothers me which I should like her because she actually has a job.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          that proposal was so sucktastic

          • Kidsister

            I’m always a day behind on the show so I haven’t seen it yet. Although, it sounds like it was along the lines of Martin’s initial proposal to Gina. “Will you marry me, Gina? DAMN! Are you hap-pee now?!”

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              it wasn’t that bad. that would be the Gold standard for craptastic proposals. it was more like he was trying to play hardcore and be a G. unnecessariily. didn’t even get down on a knee. just hadned her a box like…”do you want to marry me?’

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              LMAO

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          I think that’s why I like Yandy; she’s about business. I have to respect that.

      • Chanelle

        “…them broads annoy me”

        My thoughts exactly! Everyone annoys me so much that I can’t make myself watch the show

    • GirlSixx

      “Does fabolous know who emily is?”

      *WEAK In The Knees*… lolllllll

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        does it have you so weak in the knees that you can hardly speak?

        #REMINISCE

        • Justmetheguy

          I guess this is how women feel when men get to talking about sports. I’m sittin here tappin my feet looking around wondering I’ll be able to participate in the convo again lol. Reminds me of that link someone sent me with a Geico ad. “Can Geico really save you 10 percent or more on car insurance? Do black women love reality television?” lmfao! Here’s to laughin at ppl livin up to stereotypes with no shame in 2012 lol

          • GirlSixx

            “Can Geico really save you 10 percent or more on car insurance? [Do black women love reality television?”]

            Really Dude???

            Trust me it ain’t that serious.

            WE (black women) didn’t start this

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            let me tell you something. that show is entertainment for everybody b/c its so damn ridiculous. trust me.

            • Justmetheguy

              @GirlSixx- It’s just jokes. Clearly black women didn’t start reality tv, nor are they the only ones that watch it, but now that I’m single I am noticing a trend…not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s like ninjas liking fried chicken. I ain’t apologizing to nobody for that!

              @Panama- I’m sure it is good entertainment. I’ve watched a few reality shows myself. I still thought the ad was funny tho (obviously)

            • ScoutF

              Agreed. I don’t watch tv much…BUT THIS??…….shooot.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            And I still don’t know who Emily is.

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              so you’ve got Fab’s problem.

            • Chanelle

              lmfao! I dont know most of them! I watched this show 2 times at the most so i have to remember who these characters are when people mentioned them

              • A Woman’s Eyes

                I only know Chrissy has the mole, and I recognize Tami from Real World NY and Shaq’s ex-wife with the flared nostrils. . . I don’t keep up.

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            Yes, when men start rambling off the 50-11 names of random athletes (like how the hell do you remember all those people and stats over years and years), my eyes glaze over.

            • Justmetheguy

              @WIP- Yeah, now I know how it feels. I’m usually polite enough to change the subject relatively quickly. I’m understanding of other ppl’s realities. Some guys don’t care. They’ll talk about sports in front of women for 10 minutes straight lol

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              Yourememberbecauseyousaweachathletemakeagreatplayonthecourt/fiel.samewaywomenremembershoestyleandbrandnamebecauseofwhotheysawwearingitorbecausetheyhadagreatexperienceinthoseveryshoesbeforetheyendedupsharingorgasmswiththeirmanordat.

              • A Woman’s Eyes

                VS.won’tletmyiPhonebegrea.ug.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Do you want us to hold you to being lazy or losing 15 pounds or saving money or to losing pounds and saving money while being lazy?

      • Chanelle

        Hold me to being lazy……that’s guaranteed success

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          You ain’t asked for a thing but a chicken wing.

  • AfroPetite

    I wonder if there is a Christian Rap version of Round of Applause out yet because it would be everything to me……
    “Round of applaaaaaaaaaaaause! Disciples make those hands clap!”

    But here’s my list thus far: I’m going to continue to drink at least half my weight in ounces of water daily, do better about organization in all aspects of life, and get my first degree to ensure that it keeps me nice & warm after dusk

    • AfroPetite

      Also to limit my time spent online doing unproductive activities -__-

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      If there’s a Christian rap version of that song, I do not want to hear it. At all. Like ever. Stop it.

      • AfroPetite

        Gimme Dat Becky (Christian Remix) = Gimme Dat Blessin…. (0_o) *dies*

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl2TcF-1bRA&feature=related

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          well that was just the worst idea in practice like ever.

        • Todd

          The original was ratchet. This is like that lame dude trying WAY too hard to be cool. Either way, the South African White dude who wrote the track needs to be investigated for ties to the old Apartheid regime. I swear this is a part of a plot to bring back Jim Crow, Apartheid AND Slavery.

          #thatisall

        • http://www.nicknotnikki.com NicknotNikki

          I’m so sad to have clicked that link….

    • Justmetheguy

      lol @ Afro Petite- Those Christian rap songs are hilarious. Everytime I’m scanning the radio I hear something with a nice beat so I stop on that station. Then they get to talkin bout disciples and fightin sin and throwin them bows on Satan and I just smh and politely hit scan again lmao! They have a whole station full of those misleading songs down here. It’s ….interesting. I guess I can’t knock em for trying lol

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        no sir…you definitely can knock them for trying.

        • Justmetheguy

          @Panama lmao! Touche. They need to go back to the drawing board lol

        • Chanelle

          lmao!

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Why do Christian rappers want to fight Satan rather than let Jesus and God handle that on their behalf? And why do they want to do it to a club banging beat?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          they still want to sell records. they’re all misguided.

      • http://vanityinperil.com Vanity in Peril

        It’s like Kidzbop for the saved. Christbop.

        • Kema

          +1

  • http://www.youtube.com/robwilsontv @robwilsontv

    I’m on a mission to rid the world of #brokeassness once and for all. LOL
    http://youtu.be/tKZ2SYjALts

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      that was the most well played shameless self-promotion i’ve seen this year. good job.

    • Amber

      I’m dead from that promotion. But do what you have to do to be successful in 2012 lol.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      The world or just the folks who have jobs?