New Web Series: “Ask A Black Man” Featuring Panama Jackson

Hey strangers!

Liz here. We’re skipping our regular entry today because your very own Panama Jackson was featured in a web series talk show that debuts today on MadameNoire.com. The show is called Ask A Black Man, and it’s all about love, dating, sex and relationships from the male perspective. I happen to be the Executive Producer on the series, so you know if 2/3 of VSB is involved it’s gotta be halfway decent! Ha.

This episode is called “The Life of A SIngle Man” and Panama will also be featured in The Sex Episode premiering on April 11. Make sure you tune into Ask A Black Man every Wednesday for new episodes.

Anyway, press play below or head on over to Episode 1 and watch over there.

 

Tell us what you think about Panama’s Participation! Did he represent well for the 3s?

  • http://mrweethomas.wordpress.com weethomas

    Pretty nice! Keep up the good work!

  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

    Definitely a good look…

  • Iamnotakata

    Can I say I love it ! And I wish it were longer! This confirmed a few things I already knew!

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      A longer episode will be ready later tomorrow (Wedsnesday). It def has more questions, longer answers that are really great and ridiculous.

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        Are you planning to move it to TV or will it stay web based?

        • http://Lizburr.com Liz

          Everything I produce at work, I shoot with the idea in mind that it could go to TV. That way it’s easy to repackage for TV if the opportunity arises, and theres less backtracking if someone is interested. For now it’s not in the plans, but never say never :)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      “And I wish it were longer!”

      That’s what she said??

      I mean not to me…but to somebody else.

      SECURITY!

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        LMBO

  • http://www.houseofvirgoentertainment.com Tashandra Poullard

    Awesome Panama! good look my brother.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      thanks my sista!

  • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

    Is that a thing with men who become fathers? I mean do we as men want to be the guy our daughters want to date? or are we (as men) suppose to be the one to teach them to go for someone better than us?

    • http://Lizburr.com Liz

      Hmm. I don’t think it’s a thing with men to be good model men for their daughters because we all know there are women with more daddy issues than a mug. I think most parents do want better for their children in some capacity though, so at the very least they’d want them to do better if they have enough self awareness to know they’re not the best kinda person fit for dating/love.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        I think fathers want their daughters to be far away from anything similar to their own mistakes, lapses in judgment and behaviors. And what father wants their daughter to fall in love with a man like him, and ultimately leave him? :-)

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      “…or are we (as men) suppose to be the one to teach them to go for someone better than us?”

      I’m not sure that’s sensible. A daughter loves her father so inevitably she is learning to love a man like you no matter what else you teach her.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        +1

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      For me, I’ve learned a LOT about myself since my daughter was born. Even about communication and showing affection, etc. All things that I’ve definitely sucked at in relationships. Granted, its my kid and not somebody else so that odd paradox exists but I do think that my goal is to show my daughter what love looks like and how to be treated, etc.

      I can’t say that my goal has ever been to be the kind of guy my daughter wants to date (mostly because I never thought about it), I do think that its a good goal to have. If I’m here first introduction to dealing with men, then I should show her what a good man looks like while making sure to let her know that I’ve made mistakes but I am trying to do better. And in general, that’s what I’d hope my daughter would find. A good man who is learning to grow, etc.

      Obviously, I never really concerned myself with that until I had a daughter. But I do think about it now.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        Exactly!! It’s all about showing your child the example. And yeah, while painful, that extends to dating, love, realtionships.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      Men are very good at suppressing empathy, or they severely lack it. They go for self most of their lives and don’t feel the need to see 4 to 12 inches farther than their faces. Not even the love of a woman can inspire a lot of men to become empathetic. But once that man has an offspring who is a girl, an adorable lovable girl who he cannot put into the “I’d hit it or not” boxes he does with women, the clouds open up and he sees the light. He becomes empathetic, if not toward women in general, at least for his daughter.

  • WayUPThere

    Did Panama really say “Are people still asking that” when scoop said the body count question? Every vsb reader knows that topic finds a way to appear–in the comments at the very least–about once every two weeks here.

    Hell, I feel like there was a discussion thread about it under one of champ’s posts last week…

    • http://Lizburr.com Liz

      I think that was Dozie who said that but you’re right it comes up all the time!

    • CNotes

      “Every vsb reader knows that topic finds a way to appear–in the comments at the very least–about once every two weeks here.”

      The topic comes up on this site, yes. But, I doubt it comes up within the first few dates that people have. I think Panama was responding based on being in an actual dating situation…..not what’s discuss on VSB.

      • CNotes

        Oops….I mean, Dozie (not Panama).

      • WayUpThere

        @CNotes (can I call you hundreds? I digress…)

        I read Panama’s response as “Are people still asking that in the dating world, at all.” Hence, the reference to how often we bring it up here.

        As for Dozie’s stance though, he’s right. That’s not something you want to start asking until you know what you and this other person have could possess strong potential.

        • WayUpThere

          Hence, the reference to how often we bring it up here. We only relate on here what we’ve experience, directly or indirectly.*

          • CNotes

            “can I call you hundreds? I digress…”

            : ) Sure….and I see your point regarding relaying experiences.

  • http://dodreamaisha.wordpress.com dodreamaisha

    Sooo…if most of them said they wouldn’t want their daughters to date them, why would us as women want to? And most of them are in their late 20s, early 30s!. At that rate, I’ma die an old lonely spinster or have to resort to the swirl. Le sigh.

    • http://Lizburr.com Liz

      Ehh I didn’t really select these men based on the fact that I think they were dateable lol. Just that they were out there, in the wild, dating. I think these men, like most men, suffer from chronic double standard syndrome tho.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        ” I think these men, like most men, suffer from chronic double standard syndrome tho.”

        Daughters tend to date who they wanna date. So it balances it out. :-)

        I think this speaks to how men feel entitled to live how they wish to, make the choices they wish to — whereas women feel they must hold themselves back and “be good” in the hopes of being rewarded something better.

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          true true!

        • http://www.twitter.com/JazziLuvsJazz Babes

          “whereas women feel they must hold themselves back and ‘be good’ in the hopes of being rewarded something better”

          I was just saying this the other day. We are taught (directly and sometimes in directly) as youngs girls that being “good” has its rewards. My mother always talked about what type of girl men “don’t want” or wouldn’t make their wives. These days, though, I find myself believing that she made that ish up to make sure I stayed a “good girl” for as long as possible. Because honestly, I’m still waiting on that so-called reward. Not to mention I could’ve been kickin it instead of chillin on the bench tryin to be virtuous, while the “type” of girl my mother was talking about stayed getting wifed-up while also enjoying their lives. Feeling just a tad bamboozled. *goes to call mom and have a wtf? convo*

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            LOL@ being bamboozled. I find this insightful. I don’t think being “good” necessarily has any rewards. But there are a sh*tload of potential negative consequences for the “bad” girls.

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              But WIP bad things happen to everybody, whether they are “good” or “bad”…and so do good things.

              I think we judge some fun things as “bad” and some fun people as “bad”.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I agree that was kinda scary. “Would you want your daughter to date someone like you?”…”Hell naw” LOL, Awful.

      • Kweku

        I think you’ll hear that response from some men because we are so familiar with our (often self-proclaimed) problems, deficiencies, and areas for improvement. Some of us are so aware of what we need to “work on” that we sell ourselves short on our positive attributes.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          I noticed that — and I think it speaks to men not wanting to disappoint a woman he cares about.

      • Royale W. Cheese

        Sounds scary the first time you hear things like that, but after a while it sinks in and you accept ths as reality. I think these types of comments are common to young men. I might consider getting into a realationship when I’m 50 or older. Seriously.

    • Deeds

      Yea, I was thinking that too. You just admitted that you were on some ish.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      I am of the belief that:

      1. men don’t view us as they view their daughters. they view us as their peers (hopefully!)

      2. Some women martyr themselves. They think that because they’re not in a relationship they must deny themselves the joys of life. Some of us will cut our own freedom and blame it on our dating woes. Some women keep a long mental list of things they wish to do with a man, yet won’t do those things themselves when they are single. They truly believe that if they hold out, they will be rewarded by God or the Universe by “THE” man. Yet many men are human. They’re gonna show up with some flaws and some you-aint-shit aspects of themselves….and so will women.

      • nillalatte

        Yup, I have seen the martyrdom syndrome myself in a few of my girlfriends. It ain’t pretty. Interestingly enough, I’ve learned that I am like fire and brimstone without a man. I get things done. With a dude, it seems like I have glue on my feet. So, heavy relationships? Yeah, I ain’t the one. :)

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          The thing about it is, no one directly said that being single means don’t have fun, don’t enjoy life. Yet we do it to ourselves. And we judge other women who seem to be having a little too much fun. We have to be genuinely happy in order to be a great person to date or partner with or marry if that’s the goal.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      you have to realize though…like Liz said, we do operate in a lot of double standards (women do to…we all suck). For me, it’s only in hindsight that I’m able to have the self-awareness to truly realize how jacked up I’ve been. call it plausibile deniability or whatever, but for me, I never thought I was being a bad dude…just maybe not always being the best guy. I’ve learned a lot so, me now? Yeah, I think my daughter would be doing well.

      Me and 22? I wasn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination…but my inability to handle the responsibility of being somebody’s boyfriend for real…looking back…i wasn’t great at it. and hell, i might not be great at it now. i’m still stuck in my ways. but at the same time…i’m more willing to listen and learn now….i still stumble.

      but if donnie mcclurkin’s ass can fall down and get back up then i think i’m cool.

      • Justmetheguy

        ” we do operate in a lot of double standards (women do to…we all suck). For me, it’s only in hindsight that I’m able to have the self-awareness to truly realize how jacked up I’ve been. call it plausibile deniability or whatever, but for me, I never thought I was being a bad dude…just maybe not always being the best guy.”

        Alladis fits my summary of the whole “self-analysis” thing. I get that that’s what she wanted us to do, but there was no real “aha” moment. More of my aha moments comin up were “aha” so that’s what gets the panties moist. Cause that’s what the fellas raised in stable two parent homes where the dad did his best to be a “good man” are clueless about going out into the world. I’ve learned so much in the past 8 years it’s amazing. Getting different results from what you want, and seeing ppl who you think are going about life completely wrong, irrational, idiotic, and selfish continuously win teaches you to step back and adjust the lens you’re interpreting the world from. I learned how to ask the right questions and understand my own psychology as well as the women I wanted to interact with’s frame of mind and desires in men. Then I learned that knowing and understanding don’t mean sh*t if you ain’t ACTIN on said knowledge. To live is to learn. Or at least it should be

      • Geegers

        That sounds like you have a cheating problem :P

        • Justmetheguy

          @geegers- not sure if you were referring to my comment. If so wtf? How did u conclude that from my comment? Lol…seriously tho

          • Geegers

            haha nooo, i was referring to panama ;)

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        @ Panama,
        but if donnie mcclurkin’s ass can fall down and get back up then i think i’m cool.

        *GLLLLLLLLORY!*

        But on a serious note, how many times are you going to fall down, before you get it right? I hate this generic answer a lot of men have, “I’m a working progress”. It’s a cop out, as far as I see it.

  • A. Marie

    I liked it! I will say that I was touched by Panama taking about how much he has grown from having a daughter. I have asked that question of men before. If you don’t have a daughter, would u want your neice or sister to date a man like you? This should make men have better character. Thanks for posting and keep it up!

    • http://Lizburr.com Liz

      Lol thanks :)

      I was surprised by P’s daughter answer. Not sure I believed his answer but that’s just me personally. It’s likely I haven’t been paying attention either lol.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        the answer was true. you just aren’t paying attention. lol.

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          whatever, negro. -_-

  • MJoy

    Great post! One thing I took from the video that I would love to take a man pole on…

    What IS more important when it comes to marriage? The right one or the right time? Obviously both are important but will “the one” make you get married before you thought you were ready?

    • http://Lizburr.com Liz

      Good question! Episode 4 is the Marriage episode so maybe that’s answered there, but if not I’ll def keep this in mind for future seasons :)

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      I would hope that question is also asked of men who HAVE proposed, whether they are now single, engaged, married, divorced.

    • Justmetheguy

      ” I would love to take a man pole on…”

      I got a man pole for you to take ;) I kid I kid.

      I think the right time is slightly more important to me because I don’t believe in “the one”, but the quality of the woman is DEFINITELY of the utmost importance. One of my biggest fears in life is meeting the right one at the wrong time…in fact it might’ve already happened to me :/

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        “I would love to take a man pole on…”

        LOL, I paused when I read this as well.

      • YeahSo

        Clearly this is the dirty mind section… I read that part like 3 times O_o “uh say what now?”

        • nillalatte

          LOL… I did too…

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            My eyebrows perked up at “man poll” and I think my right ear did too. lmao

            • MJoy

              I definitely hesitated after writing it…then proceeded anyway. lol

              • A Woman’s Eyes

                Is that how we act when we run into a new man poll? lmao

                • MJoy

                  hahahaha. usually.

                  • MJoy

                    And I JUST noticed that I spelled “poll” “pole”…. hahahahahahaha.

                    • Justmetheguy

                      @ mjoy yeah that’s what I was getting at. Otherwise I wouldn’t have even caught it lol

                    • nillalatte

                      Hence the re-read 3x. Though I knew what you meant, it did create a different image in my mind! :D

      • nillalatte

        You met me, but I’m emotionally unavailable. Not sure I believe in ‘the one’ either. I play on here a lot, but to give a man a true chance with me nowadays he’d have to have the patience of Job to get at me, emotionally that is, you know, to really have a meaningful relationship. Trust is not my friend. Ice Box.

    • CNotes

      “What IS more important when it comes to marriage? The right one or the right time? Obviously both are important but will “the one” make you get married before you thought you were ready?”

      My ex-hubby and I were married before he was ready (even though it was his idea). He, along with many other men believe that meeting the right one will make him magically do what’s necessary to have a successful marriage. But, what ends up happening is that the woman becomes a placeholder while he is still confused about whether or not he is ready for the responsibility of a husband.

      On the flip side, I know guys who waited until they were ready for marriage and ended up choosing a girl who had all of the qualities of a “good wife”. However, a few years in, they realized that they either had no real chemistry or anything in common with their wives and found themself looking for a connection with another woman.

      I would be interested in hearing a man’s take on this issue on the web series.

      • Justmetheguy

        @ Cnotes- You’re onto something with that wife on paper thing. And yeah I really feared (and luckily avoided) being just like your ex hubby. Glad all hell broke loose last year. Smh. To add on to what you said, they could’ve/should’ve asked about whether the fellas felt there’s often a discrepancy between great wife, great sexual partner, and great mother. That one’ll get everybody to thinkin and understanding some of the dilemmas men go through (obviously women go through the same dilemmas). Finding a woman that’s all 3 makes men marry the type of woman they always said they wouldn’t…Or what if she’s incredibly gorgeous (like beyond anything you could have convinced yourself you could pull) but is only one of the three? Do you take this as a bargain and ignore the issues that will spring up later on in the marriage? The sh*ts chess not checkers! lmao!

        • nillalatte

          Get 2 out of 3. One can be learned/taught if they are teachable. Just sayin. LOL

          • Justmetheguy

            @ Nillalatte- You’re right. I’m gonna aim for all 3, because well why the h*ll not. Can’t be no worst than buying a lottery ticket lol. I expect to be happy and intrigued enough with a chick who is 2 of the 3, my only concern is which 2 matter most over time, and which of the 3 is the most teachable/negotiable. Which could I live without and not be depressed or irritated by? Which is she more likely to improve on over time? That’s where most of us are stuck. I go back and forth on that and get really indecisive. These chicks out here market themselves very well. Almost too well smh lol

            • nillalatte

              I think what folks forget is 20, 30, 40, 50 years or more of being with the same person means going to go through a LOT of changes. You mentioned before that your folks have been together many years. My folks will be married 50 years this year. What is it that keeps these folks together? It is devotion. They don’t always get along and have had their rough times. But, as one ages, physically things start not to work right (and that doesn’t mean just sex). While you’re looking for qualities (the wife, the lover, the mother) look deeper. Is this someone you love so deeply you’d be willing to spend a life time with? Would you be there as their companion if they couldn’t do x? In other words, how deep is your love? Being ‘in love’ with someone is very different than loving them unconditionally and come hell or high water you’d be there for them. Would you give your life for them? By the same token, would they do the same for you? It’s less difficult to get through the rough times when you have an unconditional love for someone, and it is reciprocated.

              • Justmetheguy

                Nods head at Nillalette. Yeah that’s also why Im not trying to make the call too early ie; while I’m still too self-absorbed and immature to appreciate someone like that when I find them.

                • CNotes

                  “while I’m still too self-absorbed and immature to appreciate someone like that when I find them”

                  I REALLY dig how you are honest with yourself about where you are in life.

        • CNotes

          “The sh*ts chess not checkers! lmao!”

          Exactly! : )

        • MJoy

          @Justmetheguy

          I think you need a hug. It’s free hug day in my world!

          • Justmetheguy

            @ MJoy- My arms were already extended before you even said that. Thanx. And if someone grabs your cheeks, it wasn’t me :)

    • Royale W. Cheese

      It’s timing. Another hard truth that you just have to let sink in. You can be wife material inside and out, wearing a wedding gown, with a big WIFEY neon sign floating over your head, and DNA made up of w-i-f-e instead if atcg (okay, a but much there) but if the guy is not thinking “hey I need to get married” at that moment, it just ain’t happenin. The sooner women accept that marriage/ proposals are a crap shoot attached to a ticking timer, the happier we can be with ourselves.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    PJ is really coming into his “three-ness”

    I still think “Ask A Black Man” should be called “Askin Y’all Negroes,” but that’s just me

    I see celibacy has made Liz hella productive. *claps*

    • Todd

      Now to twist Liz out and RUIN her productivity! *cackle*

      • http://Lizburr.com Liz

        Lmao!!!

        Sigh. I need a man, y’all. I think it’s time I take this dating thing seriously. For real this time lolllllllll

        • Todd

          Li, my dear, we don’t need to date. Just tell me when to come over, have the lube and the condoms ready, and you’ll have all the stress relief you’ll ever need. Muahahah!

          • http://lizburr.com Liz

            LMAO!!!! hush now, none of that freaky talk. I am a chaste woman!

        • Royale W. Cheese

          I’ll give you exactly one month of wading in the murky waters before you run back out screaming “dear Jebus what the heck was I thinking?”

    • http://Lizburr.com Liz

      Hahahaha jokes!

      Yeah girl I was just coming up in a celibacy milestone and thought to myself: damn it’s been a minute and I totally stopped keeping track lolll

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      Didn’t Paul Mooney have an “Ask a Black Man” bit on Dave Chappelle?

      • Royale W. Cheese

        Mooney is the truth.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      LMAO

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I’ll take that as a compliment. lol. not sure what it means, but i’ll take it that way.