Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

naked: chris brown and the sad plight of the scorned man

unless you’ve been underneath aretha’s areolas a rock for the past 36 hours, you’ve undoubtedly heard about the domestic abuse scandal involving r&b megastars chris brown and rihanna, who are apparently attempting to follow in the star-crossed and dysfunctional footsteps of sid and nancy, ike and anna mae, and diddy and chapstick.

although the pop culturalist in me is i’m interested in seeing exactly whose image will take the biggest hit…

***my guess? in the pop community: chris brown. in the black community: rihanna. i’d bet a 20 to anyones 5 that this is exactly how it will play out***

…i’m not going to get all tmz-ey on you and discuss the minutia of the allegations. at the same time, though, the situation does highlight a relevant topic.

according to the rumors, brown’s actions were a direct result of him finding out that ms umbrella was out poning de river without an, ummm, raincoat…which eventually led to him getting drenched as well.

we’ve already discussed the potential dangers of retaliatory sullivan-esque window-busting, but whats continually ignored and dismissed is the scorned man. more specifically, what the hell is a scorned man supposed to do?

before i continue, i want to make it clear to the chicken littles out there that this isn’t a plea to take it easy on mr. kiss, kiss. i’m just using his situation as a segue for my main point. i don’t condone or support any type of domestic violence, ever. sh*t, i even spearheaded a short and ill-conceived movement a few years ago to have undershirts referred to as “lady massagers” instead of “wife beaters (***editors note*** the champ is lying)

with that being said, the plight of the scorned man is exacerbated by the fact that he usually doesn’t have many outlets. for instance, a woman usually has a safe nest of vulva scented feminine softness to land in if cheated on. although she may have to guard for chickenhawk wang buzzards thirsty for her leftovers, most woman can rely on a girlfriend or two to support her.

i mean, sh*t, theres an entire billion dollar industry complete with magazines and television stations (lifetime, oxygen, playboy) built around the idea of the downtrodden chick.

***lets put it this way: women scorned and cheated on is some melodramatic tear-jerking one-word titled (ie: “enough!!”) miniseries starring meredith baxter-birney and rosie perez. a man scorned and cheated on? its “forgetting sarah marshall”***

a man, on the other hand, usually has few to turn to, mostly because of the stigma of being scorned. where a scorned woman draws immediate sympathy because we been socialized to think that men in relationships will inevitably f*ck up, a scorned man is usually given five minutes of sympathy…immediately followed by some variant of “what the hell did you do to her to cause her to do this to you???”, which is then followed by “stop b*tching and man the f*ck up!!!. lets go bag some sluts”

if a guy admits to being cheated on, he then faces the stigma of having his sexual prowess questioned. this time, the five seconds of sympathy are followed by “i mean, if he was taking care of things in the bedroom, she wouldnt have cheated, right? maybe somethings missing down there”.

with this being said, again, what exactly is the scorned man supposed to do?

honestly, i dont know.

what i do know, though, is that although i continually jab at the existence of chick logic and the aura of impenetrable illogicisms permeating it, i do  admire their (usually) stigma-less freedom to discuss sh*t like this with each other.

of course, i’m lying again. (***editors note*** no he’s not)

—the champ

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't.

  • superwoman

    hmmm… he should perhaps talk to HIS girlfriends? the ones he knows for a fact he doesn’t want to sleep with, just to keep things clean… a good friend of mine turned to me when his S.O. cheated on him, stole from him, (then blamed it on their domestic worker, who he fired…), lied to him….

    it was slightly strange initially to hear all this from a guy, but as a friend, you have to be there when your homey is going thru such pain..

    as for chris brown…. Nx! no excuse for the nonsense. none! and didn’t he also come from a tough home life? therapy people – just say yes!!

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @superwoman,

      i second that emotion! go to therapy, dammit!

      ive only ever had one male friend that would come and talk to me about how his gf did him wrong. that was awkward! not because he’s a dude, but because she was my friend too….i felt like i had to choose a side. i chose his cuz seriously, she effed his sh*t up and for, seemingly, no good reason!

      none of my other male friends have ever admitted to being cheated on…i dont doubt they would talk to me about it though. they talk to me about EVERYTHING else…

      • superwoman

        @shatani, same here! she was also a friend of mine, but the way she did him was SO WRONG!! and lying to the point that s’one lost their job was unconscionable.

        plus, i discovered eventually that i was also a victim of her web of deceit, she told me crazy lies too – and i had recommended her for a job based on that info… only to have the ish blow up in my face – so i WAS NOT impressed…

      • superwoman

        @shatani, same here! she was also a friend of mine, but the way she did him was SO WRONG!! and lying to the point that s’one lost their job was unconscionable.

        plus, i discovered eventually that i was also a victim of her web of deceit, she told me crazy lies too – and i had recommended her for a job based on that info… only to have the ish blow up in my face – so i WAS NOT impressed…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @shatani,

        none of my other male friends have ever admitted to being cheated on…i dont doubt they would talk to me about it though.

        ive still never had a guy admit to me that his chick was running around on him. this just isnt a conversation most guys have.

        • osyeP

          @The Champ,
          I think most guys dont tell anyone b/c they just see it as karma and keep it movin….

        • osyeP

          @The Champ,
          I think most guys dont tell anyone b/c they just see it as karma and keep it movin….

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @shatani,

        none of my other male friends have ever admitted to being cheated on…i dont doubt they would talk to me about it though.

        ive still never had a guy admit to me that his chick was running around on him. this just isnt a conversation most guys have.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @superwoman,

      i second that emotion! go to therapy, dammit!

      ive only ever had one male friend that would come and talk to me about how his gf did him wrong. that was awkward! not because he’s a dude, but because she was my friend too….i felt like i had to choose a side. i chose his cuz seriously, she effed his sh*t up and for, seemingly, no good reason!

      none of my other male friends have ever admitted to being cheated on…i dont doubt they would talk to me about it though. they talk to me about EVERYTHING else…

    • Leila

      @superwoman, “as for chris brown…. Nx! no excuse for the nonsense. none!”

      I concur! There’s no excuse at all.

    • Leila

      @superwoman, “as for chris brown…. Nx! no excuse for the nonsense. none!”

      I concur! There’s no excuse at all.

    • Princess Duvet

      @superwoman,

      “no excuse for the nonsense”

      in concurence as well..take your ball (get it tested then treated) and go home.

      start a therapy group. Champ seems to be big on “what about the men” messages. Start a public support group. btw..men do have informal support groups..ive overheard some very private tete-a-tete men had with other men about relationship issues, usually during like basket ball or something. But MEN TALK TO EACH OTHER.

      • ofloveandotherdemons

        @Princess Duvet,
        ..men do have informal support groups..ive overheard some very private tete-a-tete men had with other men about relationship issues, usually during like basket ball or something. But MEN TALK TO EACH OTHER.

        See, this is what I believe too. I’m not saying that they haven’t been socialized to internalize somethings in some situations, but if every person with an XY chromosone didn’t talk about anything but sports/women wouldn’t there be alot more random mall shootings. You can’t internalize without something snapping eventually.

        • Princess Duvet

          @ofloveandotherdemons,

          “You can’t internalize without something snapping eventually.

          I totally believe this too..TD Jakes had the movie which basically explored the themes of “waiting to exhale” for men. Men exhale. But here;s the thing, they don’t want OTHER women to see it, hell they don’t even want to let their boys know that they DO blow off steam. Instead they pretend like they dont really have any emotional outlets to save testosterone face..and still look like a man.

          But thats the house they built. That’s not a woman’s fault. At the next exhale session they need to talk about why talking is so closed and stigmitized.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Princess Duvet,

            But thats the house they built. That’s not a woman’s fault. At the next exhale session they need to talk about why talking is so closed and stigmatized.

            who said that it was the woman’s fault?

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Princess Duvet,

            But thats the house they built. That’s not a woman’s fault. At the next exhale session they need to talk about why talking is so closed and stigmatized.

            who said that it was the woman’s fault?

          • ofloveandotherdemons

            @Princess Duvet,
            ‘…face..and still look like a man.”

            I think all this socially constructed definitions of a ‘man’ and all that it entails needs to be revised and quick. I don’t think it’s doing men and their health, or society at large any favors. Gender roles are basically all social constructions anyway. Boooo, another of my pet peeves.
            If it wasn’t considered un-manly to cry/vent/actually express whatever emotions you had to keep your sanity maybe we’d have less dudes dropping dead at 40 or getting strokes and heart attacks.

          • ofloveandotherdemons

            @Princess Duvet,
            ‘…face..and still look like a man.”

            I think all this socially constructed definitions of a ‘man’ and all that it entails needs to be revised and quick. I don’t think it’s doing men and their health, or society at large any favors. Gender roles are basically all social constructions anyway. Boooo, another of my pet peeves.
            If it wasn’t considered un-manly to cry/vent/actually express whatever emotions you had to keep your sanity maybe we’d have less dudes dropping dead at 40 or getting strokes and heart attacks.

          • http://ambitionzazawriter.izfree.com/wordpress/ MDUBB

            @Princess Duvet,
            That’s crazy cause I’m not like that at all.
            I have a very small number of friends, like 4 at the most that I talk to about all that kind of stuff.
            I’ve cried in front of them, confided in them, asked them for advice,etc.
            If you don’t let it out, you’ll explode and start punching people in the face, ask Mr. Breezy he’ll tell you.

          • http://ambitionzazawriter.izfree.com/wordpress/ MDUBB

            @Princess Duvet,
            That’s crazy cause I’m not like that at all.
            I have a very small number of friends, like 4 at the most that I talk to about all that kind of stuff.
            I’ve cried in front of them, confided in them, asked them for advice,etc.
            If you don’t let it out, you’ll explode and start punching people in the face, ask Mr. Breezy he’ll tell you.

        • Princess Duvet

          @ofloveandotherdemons,

          “You can’t internalize without something snapping eventually.

          I totally believe this too..TD Jakes had the movie which basically explored the themes of “waiting to exhale” for men. Men exhale. But here;s the thing, they don’t want OTHER women to see it, hell they don’t even want to let their boys know that they DO blow off steam. Instead they pretend like they dont really have any emotional outlets to save testosterone face..and still look like a man.

          But thats the house they built. That’s not a woman’s fault. At the next exhale session they need to talk about why talking is so closed and stigmitized.

      • ofloveandotherdemons

        @Princess Duvet,
        ..men do have informal support groups..ive overheard some very private tete-a-tete men had with other men about relationship issues, usually during like basket ball or something. But MEN TALK TO EACH OTHER.

        See, this is what I believe too. I’m not saying that they haven’t been socialized to internalize somethings in some situations, but if every person with an XY chromosone didn’t talk about anything but sports/women wouldn’t there be alot more random mall shootings. You can’t internalize without something snapping eventually.

    • Princess Duvet

      @superwoman,

      “no excuse for the nonsense”

      in concurence as well..take your ball (get it tested then treated) and go home.

      start a therapy group. Champ seems to be big on “what about the men” messages. Start a public support group. btw..men do have informal support groups..ive overheard some very private tete-a-tete men had with other men about relationship issues, usually during like basket ball or something. But MEN TALK TO EACH OTHER.

    • http://theyounganddisenchanted.wordpress.com/ puff

      @superwoman,

      I second talking it out with your female friends – that’s what I do for my guy friends. I’ve also started using my male friends for sympathy in the hopes that I’ll gain a better understanding of where I went wrong (and by that I mean why the a$$hole did what he did). So far it’s been mixed results, but I like having the perspective of both men and women on the topic.

    • http://theyounganddisenchanted.wordpress.com/ puff

      @superwoman,

      I second talking it out with your female friends – that’s what I do for my guy friends. I’ve also started using my male friends for sympathy in the hopes that I’ll gain a better understanding of where I went wrong (and by that I mean why the a$$hole did what he did). So far it’s been mixed results, but I like having the perspective of both men and women on the topic.

    • http://www.missjennamarie.com Jenna Marie Christian

      @superwoman,

      Dang..She cheated, lied, and stole!!!!

      • superwoman

        @Jenna Marie Christian, it was heeeectic, girlie!

      • superwoman

        @Jenna Marie Christian, it was heeeectic, girlie!

    • http://www.missjennamarie.com Jenna Marie Christian

      @superwoman,

      Dang..She cheated, lied, and stole!!!!

  • superwoman

    hmmm… he should perhaps talk to HIS girlfriends? the ones he knows for a fact he doesn’t want to sleep with, just to keep things clean… a good friend of mine turned to me when his S.O. cheated on him, stole from him, (then blamed it on their domestic worker, who he fired…), lied to him….

    it was slightly strange initially to hear all this from a guy, but as a friend, you have to be there when your homey is going thru such pain..

    as for chris brown…. Nx! no excuse for the nonsense. none! and didn’t he also come from a tough home life? therapy people – just say yes!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

    i heart you for mentioning ‘forgetting sarah marshall’. i loved that movie. secondly, you’re right. men should comfort one another after being betrayed. seriously, why can’t you guys be there for one another the way we are? all it requires is ps2, a little pron, cereal and stinky boxers. that’s it. that’s what y’all need after betrayal. straight up maleness. no?

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @Miss Patterson,

      if they wash their boxers i would so go to that party! lol

      • Resident GRitS

        @shatani,

        …I’d bring the beer.

        • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

          @Resident GRitS, yes we definitely need beer. boys never have any snacks. so, i’ll bring pretzels, hot flaming cheetos, and some chocolate.

          • RedBeanzNRice

            @Miss Patterson,

            OMG, I fully hearted you for the Flaming Hot Cheetos (fav), but now you only get a half-heart for the “sweaty balls” comment, lol. You took me from “YUM” to “BARF” in a matter of 2 seconds, lol.

          • RedBeanzNRice

            @Miss Patterson,

            OMG, I fully hearted you for the Flaming Hot Cheetos (fav), but now you only get a half-heart for the “sweaty balls” comment, lol. You took me from “YUM” to “BARF” in a matter of 2 seconds, lol.

          • osyeP

            @Miss Patterson, dudes dont like chocolate. the women done turned the pity party into something about them again …. lol jk

            • mssmtaylor

              @osyeP,

              HAHAHA

              We always do!!!

            • mssmtaylor

              @osyeP,

              HAHAHA

              We always do!!!

          • osyeP

            @Miss Patterson, dudes dont like chocolate. the women done turned the pity party into something about them again …. lol jk

          • overit

            @Miss Patterson, I guess I’ll be playing mom so that when ya’ll are done with your junk food binge and need some real food, I’ll be there.

            • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

              @overit, ooh yeah. bring it! i’ll need a massage therapist too from all that video gaming. [miss patterson is faking like she knows something about video gaming]

            • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

              @overit, ooh yeah. bring it! i’ll need a massage therapist too from all that video gaming. [miss patterson is faking like she knows something about video gaming]

          • overit

            @Miss Patterson, I guess I’ll be playing mom so that when ya’ll are done with your junk food binge and need some real food, I’ll be there.

        • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

          @Resident GRitS, yes we definitely need beer. boys never have any snacks. so, i’ll bring pretzels, hot flaming cheetos, and some chocolate.

      • Resident GRitS

        @shatani,

        …I’d bring the beer.

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @shatani, yeah you’re right. they should wash the boxers. i like the smell of tide waaaay better than sweaty b@lls. i’m nasty for saying that out loud.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @Miss Patterson,

          it had to be said.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @Miss Patterson,

          it had to be said.

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @shatani, yeah you’re right. they should wash the boxers. i like the smell of tide waaaay better than sweaty b@lls. i’m nasty for saying that out loud.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @Miss Patterson,

      if they wash their boxers i would so go to that party! lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Miss Patterson,

      all it requires is ps2, a little pron, cereal and stinky boxers

      so you suggest that guys should bond while sitting around in their boxers watching p*rn and eating cereal?

      • V Renee

        @The Champ

        Ummmm that sounds EXTRA gay.

      • V Renee

        @The Champ

        Ummmm that sounds EXTRA gay.

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @The Champ, perhaps you should visit Morehouse on a random Saturday morning. maybe not p*rn, but definitely ps2, boxers and cereal. definitely.

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

          @Miss Patterson,
          I think there is some kind of law against sittin around with your boys in your draws. You gotta put on pants.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Deviant,

            I think there is some kind of law against sittin around with your boys in your draws. You gotta put on pants.

            this law does exist in the manbook. its right underneath the part about “spending as little time as humanly possible naked while in a locker room”

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Deviant,

            I think there is some kind of law against sittin around with your boys in your draws. You gotta put on pants.

            this law does exist in the manbook. its right underneath the part about “spending as little time as humanly possible naked while in a locker room”

          • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

            @Deviant, i don’t know what to tell you cuz my ‘play brothas’ at morehouse did it all the time. they had shirts on, but they were definitely in their boxers.

            • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

              @Miss Patterson,

              Perhaps you’ve not noticed what the guys here have NOT been saying about said brothas. . .

            • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

              @Miss Patterson,

              Perhaps you’ve not noticed what the guys here have NOT been saying about said brothas. . .

          • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

            @Deviant, i don’t know what to tell you cuz my ‘play brothas’ at morehouse did it all the time. they had shirts on, but they were definitely in their boxers.

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

          @Miss Patterson,
          I think there is some kind of law against sittin around with your boys in your draws. You gotta put on pants.

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @The Champ, perhaps you should visit Morehouse on a random Saturday morning. maybe not p*rn, but definitely ps2, boxers and cereal. definitely.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Miss Patterson,

      all it requires is ps2, a little pron, cereal and stinky boxers

      so you suggest that guys should bond while sitting around in their boxers watching p*rn and eating cereal?

  • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

    i heart you for mentioning ‘forgetting sarah marshall’. i loved that movie. secondly, you’re right. men should comfort one another after being betrayed. seriously, why can’t you guys be there for one another the way we are? all it requires is ps2, a little pron, cereal and stinky boxers. that’s it. that’s what y’all need after betrayal. straight up maleness. no?

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    thats crazy…i was having this conversation a couple weeks ago (well a variant) because a male friend of mine was telling me how this dude lost his ever-lovin mind and was stalking and threatening a female friend of his. i told him that men suffer more from break-ups that women do…and for just those reasons mentioned.

    if the relationship is long term, i think its more devastating for the man. a woman has her girls….for better or worse, they will be there for her to cry and b*tch and plot and laugh and all the many stages we go through when mourning the loss of a relationship. she can go to her girls for comfort, to commiserate or to just listen to her talk about how she feels. who is gonna do that for a man? you think he can go to his boys and cry about it? he has no support because in all likelihood, his woman was his support. and for a lotta dudes, all that bottled up emotion can turn to rage and thats not pretty.

    i think it sucks that the scorned man really has no outlet…i wish i had an answer, but i dont. boys are just not socialized that way ’round these parts.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @shatani, i think Champers needs a bff or something. i wonder if he and panama talk on the phone under their respective covers and discuss raising their children together and stuff. it goes like this:
      C: sup? maybe panamina and champina can go to cau/spelman/howard and pledge together’
      P: word.life
      C: as long as my baby girl has enough waffles.
      P: you know me, sharing is caring.
      C: that’s what she said. diplomat out.
      i hope they do, that would be so cute. maybe champers and pj are e-twins after all!
      VSB: where boys talk into the wee hours of the morning about their futures, since 1913.

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Miss Patterson,

        I need to get my black ass to bed, but I just wannna say that this WHOLLLEEE faux-echange betwixt Humpty and P-Money made my night. LMAO!! Thank you, Pattiecakes! I bid you all good nite

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Miss Patterson,

        I need to get my black ass to bed, but I just wannna say that this WHOLLLEEE faux-echange betwixt Humpty and P-Money made my night. LMAO!! Thank you, Pattiecakes! I bid you all good nite

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Miss Patterson,

        i’m mad at that entire exchange, catch-phrases and all. good sh*t, lol

        seriously though, i do have people i can talk to if sh*t gets heavy, but many men dont. plus, even the ones that do don’t feel comfortable expressing sh*t aloud.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Miss Patterson,

        i’m mad at that entire exchange, catch-phrases and all. good sh*t, lol

        seriously though, i do have people i can talk to if sh*t gets heavy, but many men dont. plus, even the ones that do don’t feel comfortable expressing sh*t aloud.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @shatani, i think Champers needs a bff or something. i wonder if he and panama talk on the phone under their respective covers and discuss raising their children together and stuff. it goes like this:
      C: sup? maybe panamina and champina can go to cau/spelman/howard and pledge together’
      P: word.life
      C: as long as my baby girl has enough waffles.
      P: you know me, sharing is caring.
      C: that’s what she said. diplomat out.
      i hope they do, that would be so cute. maybe champers and pj are e-twins after all!
      VSB: where boys talk into the wee hours of the morning about their futures, since 1913.

    • YGB

      @shatani,
      “a woman has her girls….for better or worse, they will be there for her to cry and b*tch and plot and laugh and all the many stages we go through when mourning the loss of a relationship. she can go to her girls for comfort, to commiserate or to just listen to her talk about how she feels. who is gonna do that for a man?”

      Aren’t men supposed to be better friends than women?

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @YGB,

        certainly not in this area….

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @YGB,

        certainly not in this area….

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….

        @YGB, “Aren’t men supposed to be better friends than women?”

        I was thinking the same thing…. You would think that if they were, a man would be there when his boy really needed him, and not just to play Madden.

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….

        @YGB, “Aren’t men supposed to be better friends than women?”

        I was thinking the same thing…. You would think that if they were, a man would be there when his boy really needed him, and not just to play Madden.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @YGB,

        Aren’t men supposed to be better friends than women?

        good question.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @YGB,

        Aren’t men supposed to be better friends than women?

        good question.

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @YGB,

        No.

        • YGB

          @Luvvie,

          Straight to the point! This made me chuckle!

        • YGB

          @Luvvie,

          Straight to the point! This made me chuckle!

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @YGB,

        No.

      • V Renee

        @YGB

        “Aren’t men supposed to be better friends than women?”

        I think when they tried to promote this idea, they just meant men make better friends to women, not to other men.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @V Renee,

          I think when they tried to promote this idea, they just meant men make better friends to women, not to other men.

          nope

          • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

            @The Champ,

            I call a contradiction hearing on this one.

          • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

            @The Champ,

            I call a contradiction hearing on this one.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @V Renee,

          I think when they tried to promote this idea, they just meant men make better friends to women, not to other men.

          nope

      • V Renee

        @YGB

        “Aren’t men supposed to be better friends than women?”

        I think when they tried to promote this idea, they just meant men make better friends to women, not to other men.

    • YGB

      @shatani,
      “a woman has her girls….for better or worse, they will be there for her to cry and b*tch and plot and laugh and all the many stages we go through when mourning the loss of a relationship. she can go to her girls for comfort, to commiserate or to just listen to her talk about how she feels. who is gonna do that for a man?”

      Aren’t men supposed to be better friends than women?

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    thats crazy…i was having this conversation a couple weeks ago (well a variant) because a male friend of mine was telling me how this dude lost his ever-lovin mind and was stalking and threatening a female friend of his. i told him that men suffer more from break-ups that women do…and for just those reasons mentioned.

    if the relationship is long term, i think its more devastating for the man. a woman has her girls….for better or worse, they will be there for her to cry and b*tch and plot and laugh and all the many stages we go through when mourning the loss of a relationship. she can go to her girls for comfort, to commiserate or to just listen to her talk about how she feels. who is gonna do that for a man? you think he can go to his boys and cry about it? he has no support because in all likelihood, his woman was his support. and for a lotta dudes, all that bottled up emotion can turn to rage and thats not pretty.

    i think it sucks that the scorned man really has no outlet…i wish i had an answer, but i dont. boys are just not socialized that way ’round these parts.

  • Princess Duvet

    “what the hell is a scorned man supposed to do?

    ….I can’t even start right now cause Im too tired. But the poster “Rihanna” yesterday made a VERY good point, why are women publically DEMONIZED after an accusation around sexua!l assault, domestic violence or abuse. Rihanna giving Chris “the gift that keeps on giving” is speculation and SR isn’t exactly hard news.

    So if women have their “safe havens” they often come with a leaky roof.

    I can’t quite buy this scorned male bull shat yet.

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @Princess Duvet,
      “what the hell is a scorned man supposed to do?”

      He’s supposed to know his place as a scorned man, and just be one. Bottom line. No fisticuffs, no crying to his homies, no asking his daddy how he kept his mama around for so long, no lurking in her bushes after midnight, trying to see if another dude is taking his place, etc. He’s supposed to just deal with it. Hello? Men are the hunters, and if they lose the intended prey, they keep on hunting until they make a catch. Bottom line. Plain and simple.

      • Princess Duvet

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        “Men are the hunters, and if they lose the intended prey, they keep on hunting until they make a catch. Bottom line. ”

        or they start a movement for men who’d like to create their own insular emotional safe havens. And who want fair and equal treatment under the laws of love.

        They want to have bake sales and cook offs, start a 501c3 organization draft the hemancipation proclamation and cry “aint I a man” from the mountaintops.

        • RedBeanzNRice

          @Princess Duvet,

          “They want to have bake sales and cook offs, start a 501c3 organization draft the hemancipation proclamation and cry “aint I a man” from the mountaintops.”

          …and they shall call it The Metrosexual Movement. Funny stuff, Madam Dustruffle!

        • RedBeanzNRice

          @Princess Duvet,

          “They want to have bake sales and cook offs, start a 501c3 organization draft the hemancipation proclamation and cry “aint I a man” from the mountaintops.”

          …and they shall call it The Metrosexual Movement. Funny stuff, Madam Dustruffle!

      • Princess Duvet

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        “Men are the hunters, and if they lose the intended prey, they keep on hunting until they make a catch. Bottom line. ”

        or they start a movement for men who’d like to create their own insular emotional safe havens. And who want fair and equal treatment under the laws of love.

        They want to have bake sales and cook offs, start a 501c3 organization draft the hemancipation proclamation and cry “aint I a man” from the mountaintops.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        “He’s supposed to just deal with it”

        lol, and continue to die at 52 because of years spent internalizing sh*t and not getting help, huh?

        • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

          @The Champ,
          Jesus be some high blood pressure pills.

        • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

          @The Champ,
          Jesus be some high blood pressure pills.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        “He’s supposed to just deal with it”

        lol, and continue to die at 52 because of years spent internalizing sh*t and not getting help, huh?

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        Damn. You gon have some resentful sons when you tell them “Feelings are meant to be kept inside. If you have a wee wee, that is”

        • RedBeanzNRice

          @Luvvie,
          “Damn. You gon have some resentful sons when you tell them “Feelings are meant to be kept inside. If you have a wee wee, that is”

          Only I’ll never know it, cause they’ll keep it inside. ; )

        • RedBeanzNRice

          @Luvvie,
          “Damn. You gon have some resentful sons when you tell them “Feelings are meant to be kept inside. If you have a wee wee, that is”

          Only I’ll never know it, cause they’ll keep it inside. ; )

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        Damn. You gon have some resentful sons when you tell them “Feelings are meant to be kept inside. If you have a wee wee, that is”

      • ofloveandotherdemons

        @RedBeanzNRice,
        ……. no crying to his homies, no asking his daddy how he kept his mama around for so long, no lurking in her bushes after midnight, trying to see if another dude is taking his place, etc. He’s supposed to just deal with it.’

        Dang child, but they have little hearts that beat and emotions as well as penises. A little harsh no??? If the situation were reversed, I’m sure (not, really sure since I don’t actually know you, but we’ll go with that for the argument) you’d want your girl’s not to bottle all that toxic shit in anyway. Well, if we take off all the stereotypes and social expectations on male behavior off the table, doesn’t it go to reason since female and male are human beings they should both be feeling the same sort of crappy and should be allowed the same outlet options. Let’s let the men cry and vent, no social stigma attatched.

        • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

          @ofloveandotherdemons,

          In a nutshell and sh*t.

        • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

          @ofloveandotherdemons,

          In a nutshell and sh*t.

      • ofloveandotherdemons

        @RedBeanzNRice,
        ……. no crying to his homies, no asking his daddy how he kept his mama around for so long, no lurking in her bushes after midnight, trying to see if another dude is taking his place, etc. He’s supposed to just deal with it.’

        Dang child, but they have little hearts that beat and emotions as well as penises. A little harsh no??? If the situation were reversed, I’m sure (not, really sure since I don’t actually know you, but we’ll go with that for the argument) you’d want your girl’s not to bottle all that toxic shit in anyway. Well, if we take off all the stereotypes and social expectations on male behavior off the table, doesn’t it go to reason since female and male are human beings they should both be feeling the same sort of crappy and should be allowed the same outlet options. Let’s let the men cry and vent, no social stigma attatched.

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @Princess Duvet,
      “what the hell is a scorned man supposed to do?”

      He’s supposed to know his place as a scorned man, and just be one. Bottom line. No fisticuffs, no crying to his homies, no asking his daddy how he kept his mama around for so long, no lurking in her bushes after midnight, trying to see if another dude is taking his place, etc. He’s supposed to just deal with it. Hello? Men are the hunters, and if they lose the intended prey, they keep on hunting until they make a catch. Bottom line. Plain and simple.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Princess Duvet,

      ….I can’t even start right now cause Im too tired. But the poster “Rihanna” yesterday made a VERY good point, why are women publically DEMONIZED after an accusation around sexua!l assault, domestic violence or abuse. Rihanna giving Chris “the gift that keeps on giving” is speculation and SR isn’t exactly hard news.

      two things:

      1. this…

      “why are women publically DEMONIZED after an accusation around sexua!l assault, domestic violence or abuse”

      …is a great topic, and definitely worthy of discussion. thing is, its not today’s topic, and, to counter the inference i made from your comment, just because i chose to highlight another issue doesn’t minimize other issues present.

      2. i know sandrarose is a gossip bl0g, and not factual, which is why i specifically used the term “according to the rumors”.

      • Princess Duvet

        @The Champ,

        “thing is, its not today’s topic,”

        i think my feelings are hurt. lol

      • Princess Duvet

        @The Champ,

        “thing is, its not today’s topic,”

        i think my feelings are hurt. lol

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @The Champ,

        *Chortles*

        • Princess Duvet

          @Luvvie,

          Champers seems like he’s on some type of blog rampage today. aren’t these indiv. threads for people to go off on their own little side tangents.

          cant i have my side tangent?

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Princess Duvet,

            tangent deez

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @The Champ,

              *cackles*

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @The Champ,

              *cackles*

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Princess Duvet,

            tangent deez

        • Princess Duvet

          @Luvvie,

          Champers seems like he’s on some type of blog rampage today. aren’t these indiv. threads for people to go off on their own little side tangents.

          cant i have my side tangent?

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @The Champ,

        *Chortles*

      • overit

        @The Champ, my friend worked for Chris Brown and she came back months ago talking about “Rihanna is NUTS”. That’s all she coudl talk about. In my opinion, I don’t think it was an std, I think it was just a dysfunctional relationship.

        Here is my thing, I know men can be foul, etc. But I have seen some women ASK for some ish. Yes I said it. I’m sorry, but you don’t take advantage of someone because you know they were taught they couldn’t hit you back, so you wanna be all “hit me muhf***a, HIT ME! You a lil B***” I have seen that play out and fortunately, I haven’t seen a dude hit a woman. All I know is that gender roles can only last for so long, eventually, a dude is gonna be like eff what I was taught, I’m teaching her a lesson.

        At the end of the day, mutual respect is key. I just know that men always get the blame when there is a domestic dispute, and sometimes women just aint right.

        Either way, I propose the Sat Down corner be re-named the CB and Rhee Rhee Sat Down Corner. Its the least we could do to pay tribute to their very public display of hot messtasticness.

        • Nikiloveli

          @overit,

          THANK YOU. I just kept reading, hoping that someone would point that out. Sheesh.

          Sometimes, some women deserve to be hit.

          YEAH I SAID IT.

          In fact, once upon a time I remember having an IM convo where we came up with 10 or 11 really good reasons to hit a woman. I now need to update that list to maybe include “knowingly stepping outside of a platonic relatinship and bringing home the creeping nutbugs.”

          I don’t know if that was the case or not, and I’m not saying that he should have hit her. But if it was, I understand.

          • http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com/2009/02/naturally-alises-blog-poetry-slam-3.html Naturally Alise

            @Nikiloveli,

            Everyone is so off base with this, no woman deserves to be hit, if Rihanna was your sister or homegirl y’all would sing a different tune. Most people who say such things have never been victims or witnesses (which I said upthread too) to the horror that is any kind of domestic violence.

            • osyeP

              @Naturally Alise, I disagree with you. I’ve been a victin of DV, as I wrote downthread. My mom and aunt has been too. I’ve witnessed it, on multiple accounts. Most of the time, the women I saw get hit didnt deserve it, but you mean to tell me that the time my aunt hit my uncle with the car on purpose, she didnt deserve to get dragged out the car? Now, I’m gonna stand up for my aunt regardless of if her actions warrant a beating but let’s call a spade a spade. Sometimes ppl, both women and men, deserve to get punch in their damn mouths. However, I am not a proponent of giving everyone what they deserve. I dont and will never women for the same reason I try not to fight ppl who are smaller than me, I’m afraid I might actually kill a mofo. But to say some ppl dont deserve it, is a crock of sheeit

              • Princess Duvet

                @osyeP,

                im really perturbed that everybody (and sadly and most disturbingly women) got these off the wall exceptions about cars, tow trucks, guns, axes, Cyanide..the objective in these situations are to perserve your life and remove yourself from the situation..not to plot about how you gonna beat chick down..um she’s trying to kill you.

              • Princess Duvet

                @osyeP,

                im really perturbed that everybody (and sadly and most disturbingly women) got these off the wall exceptions about cars, tow trucks, guns, axes, Cyanide..the objective in these situations are to perserve your life and remove yourself from the situation..not to plot about how you gonna beat chick down..um she’s trying to kill you.

              • http://www.museacdonline.com pgh muse

                @osyeP,

                What did your uncle do to your aunt that made her lose her mind and want to run him down with the car?

              • http://www.museacdonline.com pgh muse

                @osyeP,

                What did your uncle do to your aunt that made her lose her mind and want to run him down with the car?

            • osyeP

              @Naturally Alise, I disagree with you. I’ve been a victin of DV, as I wrote downthread. My mom and aunt has been too. I’ve witnessed it, on multiple accounts. Most of the time, the women I saw get hit didnt deserve it, but you mean to tell me that the time my aunt hit my uncle with the car on purpose, she didnt deserve to get dragged out the car? Now, I’m gonna stand up for my aunt regardless of if her actions warrant a beating but let’s call a spade a spade. Sometimes ppl, both women and men, deserve to get punch in their damn mouths. However, I am not a proponent of giving everyone what they deserve. I dont and will never women for the same reason I try not to fight ppl who are smaller than me, I’m afraid I might actually kill a mofo. But to say some ppl dont deserve it, is a crock of sheeit

            • Nikiloveli

              @Naturally Alise,

              I’m not “most people,” and I stand by what I said.

            • Nikiloveli

              @Naturally Alise,

              I’m not “most people,” and I stand by what I said.

            • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

              @Naturally Alise,

              THANK YOU NATURALLY!!

              No wonder ish like this keeps happening! I mean ARE YOU SERIOUS? Asking for ish?

              If she was that “crazy” why couldn’t he break up with her? Was it that hard?

              Stuff like this is why I rarely have those kind of conversations. Women blow my friggin’ mind EVERY DAY with this stupid nonsense.

              Anybody using hands needs to be dealt with BY THE LAW. Male or female.

              “deserving to be hit”? Getthefluckouttaherewiththissh!t!!!

              • Princess Duvet

                @Specialized Sula, i said a special prayer over this “she deserved it” thread.

              • Princess Duvet

                @Specialized Sula, i said a special prayer over this “she deserved it” thread.

              • osyeP

                @Specialized Sula, your comments is kind of perpetuating a double standard. When a women doesnt leave a relationship despite her being abused, we talk about the batter wife syndrome. However, you write “If she was that “crazy” why couldn’t he break up with her? Was it that hard?” Maybe he was a battered husband. Maybe the attack on his life pushed him over the edge, i think thats fair to say that if a woman threatens your life, you have every right to beat her down. I think my mom would say the same thing. This is also coming from a woman who tried to beat a random dude with a club b/c he called her a bitch b/c she stole his parking spot. If he would have fault her, could we really be mad?

              • osyeP

                @Specialized Sula, your comments is kind of perpetuating a double standard. When a women doesnt leave a relationship despite her being abused, we talk about the batter wife syndrome. However, you write “If she was that “crazy” why couldn’t he break up with her? Was it that hard?” Maybe he was a battered husband. Maybe the attack on his life pushed him over the edge, i think thats fair to say that if a woman threatens your life, you have every right to beat her down. I think my mom would say the same thing. This is also coming from a woman who tried to beat a random dude with a club b/c he called her a bitch b/c she stole his parking spot. If he would have fault her, could we really be mad?

              • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

                @Peyso,

                No.

                In the battered wife syndrom, “the wife” is being abused so she is the victim. If he’s being the victim, he should use the same outlets provided for women. Either quit the relationship, seek counseling or call the police.

                I do not have a double standard when it comes to violence. A human being who is being abused should resort to the course of action implemented by the law: call the police, get a restraining order, walk out, seek therapy. Do something that does not involve physically or emotionally abusing the other person.

                And I’m not going to trivialize the very issue of emotional scarring caused by the cycle of violence in BOTH men and women by giving a two-sentence reply. The issue is too big and too complex.

                And I even want to bet that Chris Brown didn’t know he was an “abuser” until it happened… but when it happens the appropriate sentence should be handed. The same should happen to a women who bust someone’s windows or pour hot grits or whatever else the crazy people do. You pay the consequences for your act.

                The reasons why you acted that way may be legitimate, it doesn’t justify the act and shouldn’t remove the sentence. And I repeat this is the case for both MALE AND FEMALE.

                Serial killers have good reasons too…. in their minds!

              • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

                @Peyso,

                No.

                In the battered wife syndrom, “the wife” is being abused so she is the victim. If he’s being the victim, he should use the same outlets provided for women. Either quit the relationship, seek counseling or call the police.

                I do not have a double standard when it comes to violence. A human being who is being abused should resort to the course of action implemented by the law: call the police, get a restraining order, walk out, seek therapy. Do something that does not involve physically or emotionally abusing the other person.

                And I’m not going to trivialize the very issue of emotional scarring caused by the cycle of violence in BOTH men and women by giving a two-sentence reply. The issue is too big and too complex.

                And I even want to bet that Chris Brown didn’t know he was an “abuser” until it happened… but when it happens the appropriate sentence should be handed. The same should happen to a women who bust someone’s windows or pour hot grits or whatever else the crazy people do. You pay the consequences for your act.

                The reasons why you acted that way may be legitimate, it doesn’t justify the act and shouldn’t remove the sentence. And I repeat this is the case for both MALE AND FEMALE.

                Serial killers have good reasons too…. in their minds!

              • ofloveandotherdemons

                @Specialized Sula,
                Yep, yep….that sounds about right.

              • ofloveandotherdemons

                @Specialized Sula,
                Yep, yep….that sounds about right.

            • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

              @Naturally Alise,

              THANK YOU NATURALLY!!

              No wonder ish like this keeps happening! I mean ARE YOU SERIOUS? Asking for ish?

              If she was that “crazy” why couldn’t he break up with her? Was it that hard?

              Stuff like this is why I rarely have those kind of conversations. Women blow my friggin’ mind EVERY DAY with this stupid nonsense.

              Anybody using hands needs to be dealt with BY THE LAW. Male or female.

              “deserving to be hit”? Getthefluckouttaherewiththissh!t!!!

          • http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com/2009/02/naturally-alises-blog-poetry-slam-3.html Naturally Alise

            @Nikiloveli,

            Everyone is so off base with this, no woman deserves to be hit, if Rihanna was your sister or homegirl y’all would sing a different tune. Most people who say such things have never been victims or witnesses (which I said upthread too) to the horror that is any kind of domestic violence.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Nikiloveli,

            “knowingly stepping outside of a platonic relatinship and bringing home the creeping nutbugs.”

            this confuses me, lol

            • nikiloveli

              @The Champ,

              I went off on a tangent in my head, and subsequently used the wrong word. Sue me.

              “Platonic” should read “exclusive.”

            • nikiloveli

              @The Champ,

              I went off on a tangent in my head, and subsequently used the wrong word. Sue me.

              “Platonic” should read “exclusive.”

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Nikiloveli,

            “knowingly stepping outside of a platonic relatinship and bringing home the creeping nutbugs.”

            this confuses me, lol

          • ofloveandotherdemons

            @Nikiloveli,
            we came up with 10 or 11 really good reasons to hit a woman. I now need to update that list to maybe include “knowingly stepping outside of a platonic relatinship and bringing home the creeping nutbugs.”

            Will all women and men be privy to this 10-11 reasons that we’ll get them punched around like rag dolls?
            What if the person throwing the punches thinks his/her reason for the assault is warranted but doesn’t fall within the 10-11 reasons? Is he/she given some sort of appeal period to justify it, or are we allowed at this point to go ahead and empathize with whoever received the black eye?
            Tis a slippery slope this ’10-11 reasons’ biz? I think, to me anyway, it’s similar to all those clauses that come with empathizing with sexual assault victims. “Yeah, she/he was raped, but they were kinda skankily dressed. Maybe, they instigated the situation in some sort of sub-conscious level.” Slippery, jam covered slope.

          • ofloveandotherdemons

            @Nikiloveli,
            we came up with 10 or 11 really good reasons to hit a woman. I now need to update that list to maybe include “knowingly stepping outside of a platonic relatinship and bringing home the creeping nutbugs.”

            Will all women and men be privy to this 10-11 reasons that we’ll get them punched around like rag dolls?
            What if the person throwing the punches thinks his/her reason for the assault is warranted but doesn’t fall within the 10-11 reasons? Is he/she given some sort of appeal period to justify it, or are we allowed at this point to go ahead and empathize with whoever received the black eye?
            Tis a slippery slope this ’10-11 reasons’ biz? I think, to me anyway, it’s similar to all those clauses that come with empathizing with sexual assault victims. “Yeah, she/he was raped, but they were kinda skankily dressed. Maybe, they instigated the situation in some sort of sub-conscious level.” Slippery, jam covered slope.

        • Nikiloveli

          @overit,

          THANK YOU. I just kept reading, hoping that someone would point that out. Sheesh.

          Sometimes, some women deserve to be hit.

          YEAH I SAID IT.

          In fact, once upon a time I remember having an IM convo where we came up with 10 or 11 really good reasons to hit a woman. I now need to update that list to maybe include “knowingly stepping outside of a platonic relatinship and bringing home the creeping nutbugs.”

          I don’t know if that was the case or not, and I’m not saying that he should have hit her. But if it was, I understand.

      • overit

        @The Champ, my friend worked for Chris Brown and she came back months ago talking about “Rihanna is NUTS”. That’s all she coudl talk about. In my opinion, I don’t think it was an std, I think it was just a dysfunctional relationship.

        Here is my thing, I know men can be foul, etc. But I have seen some women ASK for some ish. Yes I said it. I’m sorry, but you don’t take advantage of someone because you know they were taught they couldn’t hit you back, so you wanna be all “hit me muhf***a, HIT ME! You a lil B***” I have seen that play out and fortunately, I haven’t seen a dude hit a woman. All I know is that gender roles can only last for so long, eventually, a dude is gonna be like eff what I was taught, I’m teaching her a lesson.

        At the end of the day, mutual respect is key. I just know that men always get the blame when there is a domestic dispute, and sometimes women just aint right.

        Either way, I propose the Sat Down corner be re-named the CB and Rhee Rhee Sat Down Corner. Its the least we could do to pay tribute to their very public display of hot messtasticness.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Princess Duvet,

      ….I can’t even start right now cause Im too tired. But the poster “Rihanna” yesterday made a VERY good point, why are women publically DEMONIZED after an accusation around sexua!l assault, domestic violence or abuse. Rihanna giving Chris “the gift that keeps on giving” is speculation and SR isn’t exactly hard news.

      two things:

      1. this…

      “why are women publically DEMONIZED after an accusation around sexua!l assault, domestic violence or abuse”

      …is a great topic, and definitely worthy of discussion. thing is, its not today’s topic, and, to counter the inference i made from your comment, just because i chose to highlight another issue doesn’t minimize other issues present.

      2. i know sandrarose is a gossip bl0g, and not factual, which is why i specifically used the term “according to the rumors”.

  • Princess Duvet

    “what the hell is a scorned man supposed to do?

    ….I can’t even start right now cause Im too tired. But the poster “Rihanna” yesterday made a VERY good point, why are women publically DEMONIZED after an accusation around sexua!l assault, domestic violence or abuse. Rihanna giving Chris “the gift that keeps on giving” is speculation and SR isn’t exactly hard news.

    So if women have their “safe havens” they often come with a leaky roof.

    I can’t quite buy this scorned male bull shat yet.

  • http://twitter.com/laviyah L

    my ex-husband acted like me leaving him was the end of the world. all these years later, he is still not over it. i won’t get into details about his behavior though…

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @L,
      “i won’t get into details about his behavior though…”

      The ellipses are indicative of the fact that you WANT to go into detail, but you’re waiting to be prompted. So, I’m prompting. Give some details.

      • V Renee

        @RedBeanzNRice

        I’m withcha. Details please.

      • V Renee

        @RedBeanzNRice

        I’m withcha. Details please.

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @L,
      “i won’t get into details about his behavior though…”

      The ellipses are indicative of the fact that you WANT to go into detail, but you’re waiting to be prompted. So, I’m prompting. Give some details.

  • http://twitter.com/laviyah L

    my ex-husband acted like me leaving him was the end of the world. all these years later, he is still not over it. i won’t get into details about his behavior though…

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