Featured, Race & Politics

My Street Harassment Story

I was in D.C. around this time last year for a screening of our TV pilot. We (my now wife and I) drove down from Pittsburgh that day, and made it to town at around five. Since the screening was at 7:30, we had a couple hours to spare, so we stopped somewhere on U Street to grab something to eat, and eventually met up with our homegirl to walk to Busboys and Poets (where the screening was held) together.

It was a 15-20 minute walk from where we were to Busboys. During the trip, I received a text I needed to reply to, so I slowed my stride and stopped for a few moments. They slowed too, but I told them to keep going and I’d just catch up.

I was done replying a minute or so later. By this time, they were 50 feet ahead of me, totally engrossed in their own conversation. Instead of trying to catch up, I kept my pace and stayed behind them, figuring we were all going to the same place anyway.

So I watched as these two close friends — one Black, one Afro-Latina; both dressed like women who’d gone to work that day and were attending a screening that evening — walked while talking to each other; laughing and enjoying the weather.

And I watched as they had their conversation interrupted at least three or four times by guys attempting to talk to them.

Hey sexy ladies” I heard one say.

Where y’all going? I want to come” said another.

One even started following them. It wasn’t a close follow — he was maybe 25 feet behind them, and they probably didn’t even know he was there — but he definitely got up from where he was sitting and started walking in their direction when they walked past him.

And this is when I decided to catch back up to them.

This is just one story about a mundane fall day in D.C. In a vacuum, each of those actions were (relatively) innocuous. Harmless, even. My wife has other stories. One about a time several years ago when a guy spit at her and called her a bitch after she politely declined to give him her number. Another about a time a couple weeks ago when she was in Chicago on a business trip. She was supposed to meet someone at some location, but needed to walk up and down the block a couple times because she had some trouble finding the building. While doing this, a guy followed her around for 10 minutes — turning every time she turned, circling back every time she circled back — until she got scared, walked back to her car, locked the doors, and drove away.

The term microaggression was created in 1970 by Harvard professor Chester Pierce to describe “social exchanges in which a member of a dominant culture says or does something, often accidentally, and without intended malice, that belittles and alienates a member of a marginalized group.” We have no trouble understanding how this is applied in a racial context. Most Black Americans can name instances where a non-Black person did or said something that, in a vacuum, might have been harmless. A woman on the train touching your hair. A coworker asking where the best fried chicken in the city is. A sales clerk asking to see your ID after you hand them a debit card. A cop car following you for a block. Again, in a vacuum, these are not particularly bothersome acts. But a lifetime full of them can be exhausting, demoralizing, even. You also don’t know when the microaggression turns major. It’s rare. Very rare. But it’s happened before. You remember the time the sales clerk asked to see ID on the day you left your driver’s license at home, and you had to spend an hour convincing mall security the card you just used to buy a $8 pack of socks is actually yours. You remember the time you were followed for a block…and then stopped…and then forced to get out of your car at gunpoint…and then had your car ransacked…and then found out you fit a description of someone they’re looking for…and then watched them leave without as much as an apology. So, you’re understandably sensitive to these “innocent” acts.

I’ve been following the discussion prompted by the video Hollaback! and Rob Bliss Creative created cataloging the 100+ times a woman was harassed while walking through Manhattan. I’m also aware that, as many have pointed out, the video itself has some problematic flaws. Quoting Roxane Gay, “…the racial politics of the video are fucked up. Like, she didn’t walk through any white neighborhoods?”

As fucked up as that was, focusing on the racial politics of the tape instead of what happens on the tape obscures what has been the most disappointing takeaway from all this. It’s not the harassment. Although startling to watch on film — especially the guy who follows her for several minutes — I’ve heard and read enough testimony to know it exists. I already knew it was a real thing. What has surprised and disappointed me are the men who’ve seen this tape, who’ve heard women express how unsafe this can make them feel, who are aware of stories like the murder of Mary “Unique” Spears — who was shot and killed by a man after refusing to give him her number — and still say things like “What? We can’t holla at chicks anymore?” and “It’s a man’s nature to approach women. You can’t stop nature.” and “I bet if it was Idris Elba following her she wouldn’t be saying that harassment shit.” Basically, women feeling safe and protected —  people who could very well be a friend, a girlfriend, a daughter, a mother, or a sister to one of these men — is less important than the right to say “Hey sexy” every time one walks past.

It’s even more disappointing — and mind-boggling — that some of these men, who are very aware of how a barrage of innocent racial microaggressions can affect your entire being, don’t see the connection between those and how a daily avalanche of “Hey beautiful. Lemme talk to you.” and “Why don’t you smile for me?” can add up and create a general sense of danger. There are few analogies more perfect than that one — this is seriously some Fisher-Price, My First Analogy type shit — but they’re still unable or unwilling to see it.

If you are one of those people, and you’re reading this equipped with the “So, you’re saying I should just never approach a woman?” rebuttal, let me answer that question for you: Yes. I can’t speak for everyone, but that’s exactly what I’m saying. If you’re not trolling — you are, but I’ll play along — and you honestly don’t know how and when to approach a woman without making her feel unsafe, you shouldn’t approach any women until you figure that out. The world will be fine with your (hopefully temporary) removal from the dating game.

And, while you’re sitting at home, I suggest you listen to some stories. My wife has some. As does my cousin. You can find others on Twitter and Facebook and Tumblr and the comments section here. If that doesn’t work, ask a friend or family member. Maybe a coworker you’re cool with. And, if so inclined, ask me, and I’ll tell you about the time I walked behind my wife and our friend for three minutes and became so disturbed by all of the unsolicited attention they received that I jogged to catch up to them because I didn’t want to have to fight someone.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com and EBONY Magazine. And a founding editor for 1839. And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Neptunes presents The Clones

    The world through a woman’s eyes is a akin to urban warfare,threats at every turn.

    • Like Stalingrad. There may be snipers, a Tiger tank or two, and booby traps.

  • He who thinks before he speaks

    Tip for the fellas: When in doubt, just don’t say anything to a woman on the street. It usually doesn’t work anyway.

    • Agreed. Honestly, just don’t approach women at all. I’m not attempting to be facetious or cheeky when I say that at all either. If she doesn’t initiate and engage in a conversation with you first just leave her alone.

      • Heavens2Murgatroid

        I’d have to disagree. A person has to have class/tact when approaching ANYbody. You can deliver a compliment if you’re approach is correct

        • But women don’t want the compliments from strangers when walking to and from wrong a 100 times everyday regardless of how tactful they are. They do not want men feeling that we are entitled to their time, space, or emotions regardless of how polite or charming or what have you that we think we are being.

          Do not engage is the best solution.

          • Heavens2Murgatroid

            Are you talking about a woman a guy might see on the street or in any general setting? Also, I’m not advocating approaching anybody while they’re in midstride, most people Don’t want to be distracted just because of a compliment

            • I mean generally. Death to all ambiguity. Let them dictate the terms and actively take part in reshaping reality and social interactions.

              • EXACTLY! People think I’m strange about how I want women to approach me, and that I’m in Outer Space with my steez. Say what you will, but I’ve confused and been confused by a Grand Total of Zero people over the past 10 years. There’s something to say about going for F*ck Yes or No.

                • LadyIbaka

                  Dude you are outerspace. Grab you by the balls, the phakk kind of world is that? Can we at least say hello to each other?

                  • If that’s the case, call me the Black Captain Picard. WELCOME TO THE ENTERPRISE. :)

              • Heavens2Murgatroid

                I still think a person can approach and compliment another if the intentions are good and use wise judgment. Once again, I’m not saying approach anybody you feel like just on the premise of wanting to dish out compliments. That comes off whóreish and definitely qualifies as harassment. I’m also not saying when you do compliment to expect anything in return. Héll, don’t even expect that if you do approach a person they have to give you an audience. I believe people can be approached within reason

                • No. Nope. NOAP! When there are alternatives that won’t require lawyers, I’m not going there, thanks.

                  • Heavens2Murgatroid

                    So are you from the mindset that there’s no scenario where a man can interact with a woman, who don’t each other, without it being considered harassment?

                    • What I mean is that unless I am in a social context where it is explicitly acceptable for me to talk to women in a $exual or flirtatious manner, I shut up. Hey, that’s the plus side of being into that kinky stiff. I know that if I approach a woman in those contexts, she will at least be amenable to hearing me out. I don’t pick up women in libraries or at the park.

                    • Freebird

                      you and i could hang out. i dont f uck with ambiguity.

                    • I dislike when men try to holla at the grocery store or gas station. I would be cool with the library as long as I’m not on one of those timed computers because they only give you a short time limit to work on them.

                • Val

                  We do not have the time nor the inclination to decipher intentions when we’re walking down the street.

                • san_ban

                  NO! Intentions are not magic. You have no right to approach a woman at all. Your compliment is not more important than her right to feel safe.

                • Jetty

                  It seems like you are focusing on how you see the situation from your perspective without respect to our experiences. Your well intentioned comment may seem reasonable to you but it may be the 20+ I have heard today while all I was trying to do was clock some hours at the job and run some errands. Isn’t it more important that I feel safe than you feel politely intrusive?

                  • Heavens2Murgatroid

                    In that respect, yes. In my perspective I never thought that telling somebody their hairstyle looks nice on them and walking off was a form of harassment. Especially if I’m not expecting anything in return. Reading the other responses it seems like we are such a cold society.

                    • Jetty

                      I wouldn’t say we are a cold society but more than what you as a man thinks would be warm simply is not to many women and that in and of itself should be enough for you to alter course if your intention is to do no harm.

                    • Heavens2Murgatroid

                      I feel like a jerk, but it’s good to have these open discussions. I have no prob keeping things to myself when out and about.

                    • Terri

                      Amen Jetty.

                    • Truth Serum

                      I’m not convinced that the men who dish out these “compliments” are doing so as a means to be “warm”, positive or uplifting. I think those are excuses and defense mechanisms. I also believe that if the men behaving this way were to be honest with themselves they would realize that they are seeking attention, their behavior has nothing to do with giving something to the woman and has everything to do with getting something for the man.

                      IF and WHEN somebody gives a compliment sincerely (because I know there are times when it does occur, THEN, it’s perfectly acceptable, and also then and only then it actually comes across sincerely and not as harassment. Intent makes a difference. It comes across in the phrasing, the tone, the delivery, the body language, the facial expression and the entire demeanor. I think that men need to stop pretending that they haven’t been made, like a kid who has been caught lying, or trying to pull one over on their parents. Give it up – you know you’re wrong.

                    • Asiyah

                      But what’s the point in telling somebody their hairstyle looks nice? What good does that do? A temporary inflation of the ego for 2 seconds? It’s an exercise in futility and on top of that it might make that person feel uncomfortable. So what good comes out of it? Not everything has to be said!

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Hey boooskie!!!

                      Being complimented on your hairstyle is not that big of a deal, at least to me. Id just say thanks a lot and keep it moving. I don’t see the need of analyzing a COMPLIMeNT.

                    • Asiyah

                      Hi habibtiiii,

                      I don’t see the big deal about it either, but I also don’t see the point in saying it.

                    • IcePrincess

                      Really? Are we *that* jaded in 2014? I give out random compliments to strangers all the time, males and females. I don’t give it a second thought, if I like your shoes, ima letchu kno. Plus I like the idea of boosting someone up, even if it *is* only for a couple mins.

                    • Asiyah

                      You are a woman, not a man, hence, less threatening.

                    • Quinn Harbin

                      but you actually don’t boost anyone up. We don’t know you so why do we care? Seriously, random person judges and approves and feels the need to let me know like it’s a good deed?

                    • IcePrincess

                      Ok, so you don’t care. Good for you! If I like something about you, ima still say it. That’s my prerogative. The worst you can think is that I’m a weirdo or whatever. But I’m all about spreading positivity, so I’m not gonna hide my light under a bush, oh no!, I’m gon let it shine :)

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Giiiiiirl, leave this one alone. Ain’t nothing wrong with giving a compliment. And yes, it does give folks a booster. I love giving compliments, genuinely-not so that I can get one in return. Keep doing your thang boo!!!!!! #complimentssavelives

                    • IcePrincess

                      Zactly! Plus the thing about me is, I don’t give fake compliments. So if I give one, I meant it. So if you don’t appreciate it, that’s your issue, not mine. Folks need to quit being so dayum negative!

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Don’t sweat it boo. Do you! It makes you happy to dish out positive compliments!

                    • LMNOP

                      Even if it doesn’t “boost me up” when someone is genuinely friendly to me, it always makes me happy, even if I don’t know them. I talk to random people I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to make people feel uncomfortable, and it seems like a lot of women are saying “I really don’t like these kinds of ‘compliments.'”

                    • IcePrincess

                      Right. So it seems like we are splitting hairs here. But I mean, I get it- there’s a difference between someone yelling “aye shawty, aye shawty!” and someone saying, “excuse me, you look really nice/pretty.” I guess I’m more desensitized cuz I’ve been dealing with it my whole life. I realize that prolly sounds arrogant or whatever, but it’s the truth. So I’ve just learned how to deal. It’s not that serious. Some days I still get annoyed; I just wanna be left alone. Sometimes I wish I was invisible. But most times I just try to put a positive spin on things, and not take myself too seriously. When NOBODY is trying to holla at you, that’s when you have a real problem loool ;)

                    • LMNOP

                      For me personally, this kind of stuff (unless it gets graphic, threatening or involves someone grabbing my body) doesn’t bother me too much in public places. I actually feel much safer in public places. But if a lot of women are saying they don’t like it, I think that’s a good reason for men to stop doing it, even if it doesn’t bother you or me that much.

                    • IcePrincess

                      Fair enough. One thang bout you- you are so liberal & diplomatic all the time. It’s endearing :)

                    • I used to love that song as a kid and I wholeheartedly agree!

                    • Terri

                      Adding to someone’s boatload of random unsolicited unwanted comments from strangers is not spreading positivity. I get that you feel how you feel. But if people are telling you you are having the opposite effect than what you *say* you want, you’ll be willing to make a change.

                    • Terri

                      I don’t see the need of saying it.

                • LadyIbaka

                  Dude, I absolutely hear what you are saying and approve! Holler with respect. Yes.

                  A goodmorning miss will get you a goodmorning sir in return.
                  A goodmorning SUNSHINE will get you silence and hurried steps.
                  No, we don’t know each other for me to be your sunshine.

                  • Heavens2Murgatroid

                    That’s the gist of what I was trying to relate. I don’t feel that any person you see of the opposite séx and greet, has to come off with some kind of “intentions”

                    • Quinn Harbin

                      are you greeting those of the same sex the same way? Something tells me no. So, then what are the intentions of specific focus on women?

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Of course not ! A simple hi, is just that, a hello. I say hi to folks, not because I have any intention of getting to know them, but out of sheer habit and most often times respect-if it’s an older person.

                    • I’ma say this, in my experience being born and raised above the Mason-Dixon Line, if you speak it is typically assumed the one greeting maybe trying to holla. Which was more times than not traumatic for me (b/c I was a lot younger & not as quick with my rebuttals). Now since I’ve moved to the south 10 yrs and counting, I had to reprogram my mind to realize people who speak to ya are not always trying to holla. Furthermore, I don’t mind men greeting me or even asking me for my number if they’re respectful. I feel like they are more respectful down here some just try to holla at the wrong time. I always have a boyfriend when they try to holla from a car… at night… from a dark corner of the Publix parking lot though.

                    • Heavens2Murgatroid

                      I understand that. I tell ppl I was born in Detroit, but raised and matured in the South. And yes, it did take some reprogramming to realize ppl down south, and I’ll even extend it to the west coast, will greet and speak to a total stranger. Héll, it’s considered rude not to speak. And sure, you have your jerks who will cat call and try to make a scene, but I don’t lump them into the group of the sane, civilized, or intellectual populace.

                  • Poetess83

                    See- I think the problem lies in the times that many women have taken the seemingly innocent tame complement; the “good morning, miss”, “excuse me, miss- I just wanted to say you look beautiful”, or the “hey!”, and then as soon as you don’t want to engage or give out the number, the scene turns different. It escalates. Whether you respond or not. As soon as the answer is “no thanks” or “I’m not interested” The “miss” turns to “bitch” or you get a “c’mon” or a grab of the arm or a “you sure?” or they follow you for two blocks talking about your ass. And it didn’t look that way before. But the response, the engagement, opened a door. Its not ALL men, yes I know that. But it is has become a common occurrence. And dudes mostly don’t check their friends like they should. They laugh about it. They look the other way. The fact is, on my way to my audition, or to my friends house, or to the Laundromat- I shouldn’t have to filter through these interactions. I shouldn’t have to check myself if I am smiling, or if my body looks desirable to anyone else but myself .
                    I see things as complements. Sometimes I appreciate them. But honestly, most of the time, I enjoy the complements from the people I already know more.

                    • LadyIbaka

                      In the instances it does not escalate to that level, then…..

                    • Terri

                      The problem doesn’t lie with women. They’re not the ones insisting on their right to chat up strangers and make unsolicited comments. Women have no way to know the good from the bad — and why should they have the burden of trying to sort through that for the nth time today? They shouldn’t. Just leave women alone. Find a social time or location where it’s cool to approach people. “The roof is the introduction.”

                      Until women actually *are* always safe on the streets, and always safe to say no to strangers, we have good reason to be wary of everyone who accosts us on the street with comments about our bodies, clothes, etc.

              • Freebird

                I think that considering many of the things that you say here and the pro woman nature of them I think your response to this is very telling. And truth be told I agree with you completely. There can be no gray and the ambiguity has to disappear completely for one hundred percent of the women walking down America’s streets to feel comfortable.

                • Facts. Yet when I bring up similar approaches to getting rid of the gray, I’m thought of as asking women to be ballsy and taking the mystery out of things. Broad, mystery requires cops and lawyers. I ain’t with it.

                  • Freebird

                    Negro Libre said something very true about ambiguity upthread.

              • Wild Cougar

                If all men stopped approaching women in public spaces not designed for social interaction, nothing else would need to change as far as mating is concerned. We wouldn’t have to approach men. People would just mate up like they usually do.

          • I can attest to this. I will empty my keychain of pepper spray without a second thought because my personal safety > a bruised male ego

            • menajeanmaehightower

              So i’ve wondered this: if globally, more women started enacting violence on the men that harm them, would it stop? Like if you knew that most women would cap you, would men stop harming women or give a second thought about it?

              • No. I think the men who are out here trying to assert their dominance over women don’t care because they’ll still assume the women they approach won’t do anything. I’m crazy though. The 2 men I’ve pepper sprayed in my lifetime are lucky I am not licensed to carry a firearm because they’d probably be dead or maimed right now.

                • cancergirl08

                  I need to invest in some pepper spray myself.

                  • Yes you do. Walmart sells them for decent prices in store and online.

                  • SororSalsa

                    I have pepper spray for both the purses I carry. And I have used it. I do not feel like I have to “perform” for men trying to engage me on the street. The worst is being told to smile. There’s a very traumatized young guy walking around DC who is probably still confused about why telling women to smile isn’t the appropriate first line when trying to engage one in a conversation. But he’ll probably think twice (or hopefully just skip it) before saying it again.

                • menajeanmaehightower

                  I don’t know. If i knew that women as a whole were setting up armies, i would stay clear or at least be more cautious.

                  • Well you’re smart lol

                  • Quinn Harbin

                    If I protested at all, it would get ugly immediately.

              • Epsilonicus

                Nope. It would get ratcheted up and women as a whole would end up more hurt.

                • Meridian

                  There was a story recently of a woman who killed a man who was trying to rape her, and then she was executed.

                  • Epsilonicus

                    I was not even thinking of the legal viewpoint. Good point for bringing that up

                  • arafat

                    That did happen in Iran, can’t really use them as an example as they are known for punishing many woman who have been wronged.

                • menajeanmaehightower

                  I think it would cause some to pause. Like those ADT signs outside of homes.

                  • Quinn Harbin

                    no, they always get defensive and attack. BTDT many many times.

                  • Epsilonicus

                    Nope. Women underestimate the violence men would inflict upon them. And both would end up losing their humanity trying to match each other

                    • Terri

                      No, women don’t underestimate the violence men could inflict on them. That’s why it often looks from outside like women are being “passive” about street harassment. They know, and the news is finally backing them up by reporting these stories, that they could be injured or killed for just saying No — let alone fighting back. It is men who seem in widespread denial about this type of daily, unrelenting psychological harm to women.

              • screagle101

                nope, because most men aren’t out hurting women.

            • DeLana Nicole

              Amen

        • Freebird

          I hear what you mean,and it sounds right but it’s counter what a lot of women are saying out here. mostly what I’m hearing is that women want to be left alone completely when walking down the street.

          • Heavens2Murgatroid

            Okay, I get that when we’re referring to walking down the street

            • san_ban

              Let’s try and go just a little farther. Women don’t want to be approached by strange men in public places not explicitly designated for such approaches. DO NOT approach a woman in a park, in a library, in a supermarket (or any) parking lot, in a department store…

              • tgtaggie

                Especially if you are driving a mini van or cargo van. lol.

              • LadyIbaka

                How are you going to get a wife if you don’t approach? Let’s be reasonable folks.

                • cakes_and_pies

                  I don’t understand the zero sum game here. Under these conditions I may as well have an arranged marriage. I say this as a woman who has been on the end of some terrible street harassment incidents.

                  • LadyIbaka

                    Hehehehe!!! Street harassment, unfortunately for us as women is a part of life, some daily, others occasionally, the rest once in a blue moon. We’ve all been through it at varying levels and degrees.

                • Abu Husain

                  That’s what I’m not getting either. I approach women wherever (with some exceptions) and things go without a problem. I guess people just aren’t as socially aware as they should be.

                  • LadyIbaka

                    Lissen, I’m just sideying.

                • san_ban

                  That was sarcasm, right? Men are trying to “get a wife” when they holla at women on the street, demand their attention when women are going about their business, follow and touch women without permission? I know lots of men with wives, and none of their stories involve these behaviours. Hmm, a quick google just came up with a few studies showing cis couples are NOT meeting thru hollas, so my group of friends seem pretty representative.

                  • LadyIbaka

                    Okay.

                  • It’s rare in the extreme but it does happen. Don Peebles, the real estate mogul, met his wife as she was walking down the street.

                    http://online.wsj.com/articles/don-peebles-real-estates-self-made-mogul-1409248731

                    “In 1992, he married Katrina, a former public-relations and advertising executive who grew up in a military family. They met in Washington—he saw her walking down the street in Georgetown on a summer evening and asked her out. They moved in together a month later. She is now principal and creative director at Peebles Corp.”

                    Some people are just smooth like that.

        • LadyIbaka

          Absolutely! It’s all in the approach.

          • Freebird

            but the ladies are mostly saying the opposite.

            • LadyIbaka

              I am a woman and I’m saying counter to them. Approach me with RESPECT.

              • Freebird

                this is your right and i understand but it is counter what is being said and men who dont want to harass can’t and shouldn’t listen to women who hold your opinion. because it is counter what we are being told. its not about respect (excuse me miss, hello miss. may i speak with you for a moment) it’s about comfort. this is why a lot of men are confused. you’ll just have tp get your game up and approach your ibaka yourself.

                • LadyIbaka

                  Okay.

                  I have pontificated on your points and you sir, are absolutely correct. It is not so much about respect as it is about comfort and feeling safe.

                  • It also comes down to this: when the measure of a fact is a person’s perception, then all you have is ambiguity. Perception varies from person to person, as well as with other factors such as self-esteem, mood, experience etc.

                    If you watch the video carefully, you’ll notice that even though this video was edited from 10 hrs to just 2 mins, there’s still a moment where a guy simply said “Have a nice evening” and that was considered as an act of Sexual Harassment.

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Great points NL!

                      But, I do find it very problematic that have a nice evening IS considered sexual harassment. It shouldn’t but, I get the why now as clearly articulated by FreeBird-issues of comfort/safety.

                    • san_ban

                      Did you read the article?

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Yes.

                    • san_ban

                      So you understand that it isn’t one singular “good evening” from a man that constitutes harassment? You understand that it becomes a micro-aggression, one of hundreds, thousands, that hammer home the point that men are the dominant, stronger, more powerful group and women are powerless to stop them from expressing their “good evenings” and “hey honeys” and “gimme your phone numbers” and “WHY YOU NOT TALKING TO ME BITCHes.” You read the article, so you understand this?

                    • LadyIbaka

                      I understand.

                  • Freebird

                    mami i aint mad at you and i understand your point. all of this really just f ucks things up for all of us who want to, you know, enjoy the spaces where people can meet.

        • Quinn Harbin

          I don’t want to hear a compliment from a stranger on the street. Some random male has put his stamp of approval on me and I don’t want it. I don’t want you thinking your judgment means ANYTHING to me.

      • Word. Just as a woman doesn’t know if I’m a threat, I don’t know anything about her. If that means some woman who thinks I’m cute is disappointed, so be it. I like my freedom, thanks.

      • tgtaggie

        Imma have to agree with you on this one.

      • Animate

        I’d love to do that but then you have the “a man should always approach” folks and that’s a separate discussion.

        • Epsilonicus

          Exactly.

        • Rose

          Yes, a lot (but not all) of women like it when the man makes the first move. Hollering at a woman on a street, following her around, and asking for her number is not approaching. Why is one even approaching a woman? Do they know her, do they believe she has qualities to establish a healthy relationship based on her insights, morals, and values lining up with theirs, or do they like the things she likes, do they really believe you have a lot in common? No. Usually when a man hollers on a street, he just going strictly off how the woman looks. Many men and women do meet on the street, maybe they pass each other jogging, or walking their dogs, they get coffee at the same cafe every morning on the way to work, they are reading similar books of interest at a bookstore, or are listening to the same music… there are tons of ways to approach a woman and strike up conversation that don’t have anything to do with cat calling or being creepy. And as a very taken woman, I can honestly say that I don’t care about any man’s opinion but my man’s, and guys hollering at me on the street, doesn’t help my opinion of the one doing the cat calling either.

          • Regardless of setting or technique, if a man approaches you it is because of your looks, why would it be anything else, initially?

            The difference between men who harass and those who don’t is a matter of technique and how you like to be approached, truth is that everyone is trying to get some eventually, some faster than others.

            • Epsilonicus

              So Darwinian. So true

              • Guest

                Cancel

              • Lol, it’s really not though. $ex just comes first for men, followed by everything else. A good amount of the confusion in the game is many women want us to act like everything else comes first, and then $ex comes last, but if that was the case, there wouldn’t be enough incentive to make the approach in the first place.

                • Epsilonicus

                  What I meant by Darwinian is exactly what you said. The mating drive is prime, The other stuff comes secondary

    • Rachmo

      The street isn’t the best place to approach anyone unless you’re asking for directions. I have given out my number to a dude I met while walking once maybe twice in my life. I’m not sure why folks are still into hollering.

      • Val

        “I’m not sure why folks are still into hollering.”

        Because it’s not really about hollering, it’s really about men exerting their power over us.

        • DBoySlim

          I have to disagree on the exerting power thing. It seems a bit much.

          • Val

            The power comes in when demanding that no matter what we listen to them and if we don’t then subjecting us to a profanity laced tirade. That no matter where we are going that we take the time to listen. That we be available to them when they decide we should be.

            • DBoySlim

              I can see that but please don’t lump all men into this mode of thinking.
              There are some weak men who want to exert power but it’s not always about that. Most of the time this occurs is to procure sex. This could be seen as a power play but mostly its about getting your peter wet. It’s as simple as that.

              • IcePrincess

                Bwahahaaaa #truth. Thanks for keepin it ????

              • Meena

                It is about sex to many that holler. But that becomes power play when it is more important to holler than a woman’s need to get to work without being side tracked (even by polite compliments).
                The fact that we know we are being complimented by a strangerstranger or actually stopped in our day’s progress, because they are seeing us as a sexual object and our level of interest is irrelevant makes it disrespectful and threatening.

        • Asiyah

          Exactly. I get hollered at more when I’m wearing a hijab than when I’m not. It’s not about what a woman is wearing or how she looks and it has everything to do with the desire to exert and manifest power.

          • afronica

            That is really interesting.

          • LadyIbaka

            Yap, can attest to this, when I’m in diracs

        • I’m a firm advocate of women carrying weapons on their person and being well versed in how to use them. I used to think self defense classes would be sufficient but in times of panic trying to recall certain moves is pointless if you aren’t prepared to act in such a situation. A can of pepper spray, or better, a hidden fire arm, can save your life.

          Women who feel comfortable with guns should get them and try to secure a license to carry it on their person. Better you than me. Shoot to kill and not to disable.

      • JoDa

        Unfortunately, I’ve had men ask me for directions and then turn my willingness to give them directions into a lovely harassment session. Soooo…I, unfortunately, tell people who try to ask me for directions that I don’t know, anymore. Even though I do know, and would be happy to give them directions if I were *sure* that they weren’t going to then follow me and insist that join them in whatever adventure they’re undertaking. (I still sometimes give directions to families and women who seem confused and vulnerable, but I always give them the side-eye looking for a dood to swoop in and make it about him, since the incident that “turned” me was a woman asking me for directions and then the man with her insisting I join them for “a fun night”)

      • Yep

        low probability x high volumes = certain score eventually, I’m not endorsing it, just pointing out the logic.

    • cakes_and_pies

      When it’s romanticized in a manner like this, you’ll never get men who do this to stop.
      http://youtu.be/HzZ_urpj4As

      • @Tristan joked about that a few weeks ago. LOL #factsonly

      • Freebird

        or this oldie but goodie by slave.

        • cakes_and_pies

          I have never thought of these songs in this context until now. #MindBlown

          • As hard in the pain as some people went after Blurred Lines, a few hours on Spotify will get you a playlist that sounds like something R. Kelly or Ben Roethlisberger would put on their devices. Like serious. Back in the day, mindsets were different. It’s a lot like watching Eddie Murphy’s Raw and how f*cked up we look at that routine.

            • cakes_and_pies

              Nothing says questionable like my then 14 year old self singing “Show me some ID before I get knee deep”

      • san_ban

        I always saw that vid as quite creepy.

  • veronicamm

    *upvote upvote upvote*

  • V.E.G.

    This made my life:

    “It’s even more disappointing — and mind-boggling — that some of these
    men, who are very aware of how a barrage of innocent racial
    microaggressions can affect your entire being, don’t see the connection
    between those and how a daily avalanche of “Hey beautiful. Lemme talk to you.” and “Why don’t you smile for me?” can add up and create a general sense of danger.”

    I say this ALL the time to guys and they give me a blank stare or dismiss me as ’emotional’.

    Even when I share stories – having a guy in a car drive slow as hell (yelling ish at me) while I walked down a dark street, being slapped by a guy in a bar because I wouldn’t dance with him (I called the cops), being called every name under the sun because I didn’t stop and chit chat with a dude…the list goes on and on and on – they act like I’m overreacting and think the term ‘harassment’ is too strong.

    • Victoria Nee-Lartey

      I just had a conversation this evening about the term harassment. I mean, I don’t know what else to call it. It’s more than just being annoyed. It’s a lifetime (or at least since puberty) of being viewed as a sexual object instead of a human being. It’s disrespectful, uncomfortable and unnecessary. Saying hello isn’t a crime, but I don’t live in Alabama. I’m a New Yorker. We’re conditioned to not talk to strangers. If I really wanted to say “hello” then I would. Trust me. I’m super nice. But if I haven’t initiated it, then I don’t have any desire to talk to you. Take the hint and move on. Bu there are guys that are so dense that they can’t see it. And that is enraging! Like how do you NOT get it???

      • I’m going to play devil’s advocate. I’m not disagreeing with you, but I want to stretch out your mind a bit.

        We are all $exual objects at one point. I’m operating on the assertion you’re not a virgin, right? Guess what? You’ve been looked at as a $exual object AND YOU’VE CONSENTED TO IT. Now, follow my logic for a bit. The problem isn’t the objectification. The problem is that you haven’t consented to it, and haven’t gotten time to consent to it.

        Women’s $exuality is all about context. Asking a woman to display it out of her desired context is obviously a consent violation. Now, each woman is different. I’ve witnessed with my own eyes women react positively to what the vast majority of women would call street harassment. Are they a majority? F*ck no. But the problem isn’t the objectification. It’s the consent. That’s what I want people to focus on.

        • This, this, this.

        • Freebird

          you bodied this comment. this is what it is all about.

        • cancergirl08

          “We are all $exual objects at one point. I’m operating on the assertion you’re not a virgin, right? Guess what? You’ve been looked at as a $exual object”

          Small point, but virgins are still
          looked at as sexual objects. For example, VS model Adriana Lima before she got married. Not to many knew(or cared)that she waited to have sex until her wedding night.

          I agree with your consent and context discussion. To that end,
          virgins just don’t consent to the act.

    • I agree that harassment itself has become a loaded word and is cause for some pushback. People hear harassment and think creeps and stalkers and not unsolicited hellos and compliments. However by definition harassment is intimdation; intimidation is subjective. You say no its not harassment, “Juicy” sweats cant.

      • That said, I do think there are a subset of women that want those lines to be blurred for their own agendas.

        • The fastest way to gain power whenever something is political is to talk in the gray. Politicians do this almost naturally. The more vague the argument, the less likely it is to be challenged.

        • Abu Husain

          Reminds me of this “yes means yes” initiative that’s being pushed in California.

  • iamnotakata

    Real as* post!! I have to admit I find it annoying when men ask me to “smile” or say d*mn or what have you, but I’ve learned to ignore it. It really isnt necessary for a man to say anything when a woman walks by but they just don’t know how to shut the h*ll up,like ever.

    I am curious to see what kind of reaction she would get if she walked through a white neighborhood though.

    • You’ve read my brain. LOL

    • SimplePseudonym

      Prob depends on what type of white neighborhood. Wasp white? Probably no catcalls. Italian or Greek immigrant neighborhood? Probably catcalls. Eastern Europeans? Forget about it- you can’t get two blocks. Middle-class black suburban neighborhood? No catcalls. I find cat calling in the USA to correlate more with socioeconomic status than race. No idea why.

      • Freebird

        cuz for those dudes in the video to be in a position to catcall during her 10 hour walk many of then couldnt have had jobs.

      • BedRock Obama

        I find cat calling in the USA to correlate more with socioeconomic status than race. No idea why.
        Good point and would expand on that train of thought and state that many negative social behaviors (i.e. cat calling, domestic violence, victims of crime, etc) have a direct correlation with socioeconomic status across races. And sometimes “socioeconomic status” can be defined by a person’s mentality than by traditional definition.

        I’d say more like one out of a million…..so you are saying I have a chance.

        Street harassment is an interesting topic to me because it’s so far removed from how I treat women, you might as well be talking about the struggles to decide how many countries you want to visit next year. I’ve always thought that approach was corny and wouldn’t work on getting a number anyway. But having said that, there has to be a small percentage of women who respond positively to that or why else would these clowns continue in this manner?

    • afronica

      Apparently, she was hollered at by white guys. But those interactions were edited out because sirens drowned out the guys’ voices. No, I don’t believe it either. Doesn’t change what was in the final cut, but undeniable framing strategy. Damon put the link to the Slate piece that pointed out the editing in his post.

    • CrayolaGirl

      I wondered a few things. Is this her usual route? Would there be concern about the amount the of black/brown men included if this is her everyday route? If this isn’t a regular route, why/how she chose the street/route to film this video?

  • Victoria Nee-Lartey

    I kinda want to apologize for feeling so strongly about this topic…but I’m not. I’ve been a victim of street harassment. I’ve suffered the consequences of being polite. I’ve been followed, leered at, touched. And if I don’t respond? Then I’m cursed at. So this is a must read for every man that doesn’t see a problem with approaching a random woman on the street that he does not know at all. Try advocating for us instead of debating your right to say hello. Try telling your douchebag friend that it’s not okay to talk about the size of a woman’s behind as she walks by. Ask the women in your life to tell you their stories…I guarantee they have more than just a few. Try imagining for one minute what it might be like to literally walk in our shoes — vulnerable, uncomfortable, scared — and then tell me if I should give a damn about your “hello.”

    • kayleb

      Glad you didn’t apologise! Haha.You picked up on something important “tell your douchebag friend…”. A good experience I had with this was on the Metro some kid (had to be younger than me) started talking to me and I wasn’t having it. His friend stepped in and chided him and helped diffuse the situation. I didn’t feel endangered at the time, but didn’t have time for his friend’s shenanigans. I’m glad he stepped in.

      • It goes back to one of my personal rules: If you are the most intelligent of your friends then you should get new friends. In this case just to hold each other accountable if anything.

      • tgtaggie

        Or he might have been trying to do the okie doke. 1st dude acting dumb and he coming in to save the day.

  • nillalatte

    I have gone all day (maybe two) without watching that video. Thanks Champ.

    I don’t know why guys think this behavior is cool. I have a question though… do men actually think women will respond positively to this behavior? How many dates has one ever gotten with this type of behavior? It’s too aggressive which kicks in the flight or fight response.

    The dude that walked next to her for 5 minutes, yeah, he and I would have had a coming to Jesus meeting right there on the street. WTF is wrong wit you?!

    I’ve only had 1 or 2 bad encounters with obnoxious dudes, thankfully. Otherwise, when men just holler out, I usually give a side-eye or a smile and a polite, thank you, and I keep it moving. Where’s the girl with the blade in her mouth when you need her?! ;)

    • I have a question though… do men actually think women will respond
      positively to this behavior? How many dates has one ever gotten with
      this type of behavior? It’s too aggressive which kicks in the flight or
      fight response.

      First, let me preface this by saying that I am NOT endorsing street harassment. But I have seen the technique work with my own eyes. Like a dude straight up saying something crazy, the woman stopping and laughing, then giving the digits with a smile. Is it common? No. Are there a small number of women who respond to it? Surprisingly, yes.

    • Freebird

      no approach regardless of how charming a man is or handsome works all the time. but seriously I’ve seen dudes like the ones in the video pull those tactics and have them work. Its not my tactic, and it’s not the tactic of the men I hang with , but I have seen it work and for men that don’t know any better or care to know any better. I can see that being positive reinforcement for men who do this.

      • Word. Just about any man has witnessed some dude get the digits off of street harassment, usually followed by them saying to someone or themselves some variation of WTF did I just see?!

        • tgtaggie

          Happen right before my eyes twice (maybe more) last saturday in Greensboro for A&T’s homecoming. The first one was like within five mins of me parking my truck and walking up the street. The second time was on the yard after the game. Dude just hollered at the girl and she gave him the digits (in both incidents, the girl put her number in HIS phone… lol).

          I was thinking to myself…I could never pull that off and would’ve gotten cursed out by a girl if I did attempt to do it.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            You touched on something that I’m struggling to explain to my son. Simply because some cat displayed hyper masculine traits to attract a women does not mean that you should or this practice will yield you results.

            His counter is people watching at his high school and seeing the hyper masculine guys win. The question I can’t answer for him is “you and mom say girls don’t respond but you’ve seen guys out here winning doing something you say isn’t effective. What’s up with that?”

            • Now that is a good question. I don’t see how you answer that well without teaching him some life experience. After all, the boy has a working set of eyes and ears. I would ask him to not just look at what happened, but the context. Look at the dude who pulled it off and where he comes from, look at the woman that accepted it and where she comes from, look at the situation, then think to himself if he could reasonably be the guy in that situation. It would at least force him to slow down and think.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                I was with him so I saw it go down….again and again. I chalked it up to his varsity football jersey (varsity golfers don’t get the same love) and his high top fade.

            • Ask the ladies.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                My job is to raise up my son. The ladies are not my problem or concern.

                • tgtaggie

                  +1 and as long as he learns to treat women with respect

            • Tell him that every football squad doesn’t run the same kind of offense so he shouldn’t either.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                That would resonate if my son liked football. I feel so ashamed!

                *heads to the corner for dads who have sons that don’t like football or any of his father’s interests*

                • What does he like?

                  • Sigma_Since 93

                    I use golf and robotics examples. I’ll say look just because I can get to the green from 150 yards away with my 7 iron doesn’t mean that you have to use a 7 iron too. If you’ve got to use a 5 iron then use the 5.

                    • ” I’ll say look just because I can get to the green from 150 yards away with my 7 iron doesn’t mean that you have to use a 7 iron too. If you’ve got to use a 5 iron then use the 5.”

                      *Realizes that I will never know or care anything about golf and stares into the void and babbles like Matthew McConaughey in those Lincoln commercials*

                      alright… alright…alright

                    • tgtaggie

                      I normally use a 9 iron from 150 out.lol

                    • Ms. Bridget

                      Ha. I was thinking the same thing…

            • menajeanmaehightower

              And it’s actually a misconception. Our eyes lie to us all the time.

          • Back in the day, i was still getting play with “ay red shirt”

            • nillalatte

              Back in the day???! Has Breezy let u graduate out of secondary school yet? You just made my morning! LOL

              • I meant like 15-16…a decade ago so there lol

          • Sigma_Since 93

            Eta Chapter. Stepshow champs 10 years running!!!! Blue Phi Baby!!

            • tgtaggie

              That’s dynasty talk there. lol. My first roommate at T was a Sigma. I don’t think I never saw that many ppl on the yard on sat. It was packed from Holland Bowl to McNair.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                I miss making that run. Back in the day hitting Turtles and Omega by the Lake. Good times, good times.

                • tgtaggie

                  When I was there (’05-’09) I kept hearing about the back in the day parties by lake. Its kind of like those VSB bbqs

  • S Ranel

    I agree with 99% of this. There’s absolutely no justification for touching, invading personal space, name calling etc. Violating those social norms will and probably should get you hurt IMO. As far as the hellos and you should smile, you look nice etc…where do we draw the line in controlling what someone else says? Just like no one can justfully tell women they shouldn’t be bothered I don’t think telling all men to avoid striking up a conversation with a woman is the answer either. Especially since not all men behave this way and have some sort of sense. There has to a number of guys that take the No or recognize the disinterest and move on. Those are the guys I think men on the defensive are defending because by all intents and purpose they’re following the rules. They say hey, what up, or whatever clever line they’ve been pumping themself up to say and when it doesn’t work they move on. Some of the comments just appear to come off as if this video applies to all men. Hell I’m sure some of the crap said by guys yall are referring to have worked in the past, if only once. I think it was 50 who said “if I can get it once I can get it twice” and that’s how some dudes think. Either way something still needs to be done so I’ll pose these questions to the ladies:

    Is the issue what is being said and how it’s being said to you?

    Is the issue where the interactions happen say on the street vs a bar/club or lounge(for those over 40 lol jk)?

    Is it that these guys are strangers and so it doesn’t matter the environment or tone or what’s being said?

    Is it mutually exclusive to men or would another woman hatin (that b***h think she cute) count as well?

    • Meridian

      This video and the perspective of the post should be taken by all men as an absolute truth. All of them should adjust for it. After they do they should be able to theorize on appropriate ways to approach and when it’s best to do so.

  • SimplePseudonym

    Also, it’s not just about whether or not these advances make a woman feel safe, but also about men feeling obligated to a woman’s time. If I’m rushing to an exam, I don’t want to have to stop and chat to you to so that you can be entertained. If I’m running through last minute review in my head, I am not obligated to put that on pause simply bc some man I do not know wants my attention. If you add up the time spent responding to these advances, it makes a difference in the amount of “me” time that a woman has while walking down the street versus a man.

    If this chattiness applied to it women and men, I’d oblige, but- nope- random men on the street do not get to dictate how I spend my time and energy just bc they think I’m cute an I am a woman.

  • To address the racial dynamics a little bit, I would honestly say culturally and socially speaking in this country Black and Latino men are actually the ones far more likely to engage in street harassment (as defined in this video). That’s due to the expectation and social engineering of expecting/desiring us to be, on average, far more assertive and forward in approaching women than men of any other ethnicity or culture. I do not believe being assertive and forward inherently means street harassment, but when you couple that with America’s culture of how men are supposed to feel and view women it easily and repeatedly bleeds and leaps over into that category.

    Honestly, I don’t see any real headway being made until Black and Latino men are able and ACCEPTED into adopting over forms of masculinity or personality traits in general that are seen and described as attractive. I men that on a social and cultural level for Black and Latinx men and women and including Queer people as well. I don’t have much faith in that happening however.

    • You got a lot of what I was thinking about the racial aspects of this vid. Good call, Ricky. I judge you a lot on the $exual politics game, so I have to show love when you get it right.

      • Out of curiosity (and I’m asking here because I want a guy’s opinion) how much do you think it had to do with the woman’s um…”racial ambiguity”? Like, no one wants to touch that she kindof does have a “popular look” that may have a bit to do with the type of people approaching her? Like, she’s very clearly not “Gwyneth Paltrow” white/thin/tall/blonde. I’m legit not trying to be facetious here.

        • tgtaggie

          I think it had some effect to why she was getting the attention. She has a nice looking body. But she wouldn’t gotten 5% of the attention if she was walking around wearing a burka.

          • I’m going to have to stop you right there. I was not alluding to her attire. It is a FACT that women in religious attire get it JUST as bad, so please let’s not go there. She also noted her choice of clothing was deliberate (no bright colors, no cleavage, no exposed legs, sneakers instead of heels) to show that it really doesn’t matter what you are wearing.

            • tgtaggie

              I was being funny about the burka bit. It probably had something to do with her body type tho. (I don’t want to get into a convo about body types certain races find more attractive)

            • Asiyah

              Word. See my reply to Val upthread. And I get hit on more by non-Muslim men than Muslim ones when I’m in religious attire.

        • Excellent point, and I didn’t think about it. I do think a blonde haired woman would have gotten less of an issue, both because of her body type and because a lot of brothers would have thought “oh sh(t, talking to her might catch me a case!”

        • menajeanmaehightower

          This questions opens up other ones as well. Do you think if she were more black looking (that sounded horrible) that she would have gotten the same amount of attention? Of if she were more white looking? Do you think it had more to do with body type than race? More attractive face than body type? Personally, i think attractive woman = more harassment on the street.

          • tgtaggie

            I think it had a lot to do with body type. If a black girl was shaped like her she would’ve gotten the same (or more) attention from the black and brown dudes.

            • menajeanmaehightower

              Me too which to me is simply attractive = more harassment.

          • Ok, I’ll try to make it short as this is a post in itself. There are a ton of factors in SH that make each woman’s experience different (tbh, I’d love to do a study on it) but in her case, specifically, her body language was completely on the defensive, which turns her into a “challenge”. I know what you mean by “more black looking”, and in that case, she would have received the same amount of initial interactions but the RESPONSES when she ignored them would have been completely different-they would have been more aggressive. You would have heard more cussing and more of a “you should feel lucky I’m speaking to you” tone.
            In my case I have noted the difference when I am alone and when I walk with my sisters, who are very much brown with short 4c hair, or with one friend who is 6 feet tall and another who is a curvy plus-size model with a flat tummy. When I walk with my sis, the response for ignoring is aggressive, as in “how dare you black thing” (I’m just giving it raw here). When I walk with my tall or my plus-size friend, the INITIAL CONTACT is aggressive as opposed to just the response. As in, they view them as something to “show power” over because they have a commanding presence. I don’t get accosted as much but they do. They will have an arm grabbed, men have PULLED HEADPHONES OUT of my tall friend’s ear, etc. As for when I walk alone, me with my lite-brite @$$? Let’s just say the more likely you look like people would respond if you screamed for help the less likely it is that it would continue aggressively. I’ve had MORE than my share of incidents and have been assaulted, MAKE NO MISTAKE, but the INITIAL approach often times does not begin as aggressive as it does with some of my other friends. In short, more attractive =/= more harassment, but it colors the interactions.

            • menajeanmaehightower

              Ok. I see now what you were getting at. Like not to sound harsh, do you think that if your friends or sisters were just OK looking, the aggression to that extent would still be there? I get what you are saying based on skin tone, size, etc.

              • “Looks” are subjective. My friends are quite lovely BUT may not be the “flavor” depending on the trend, just like me. My sister looks like ‘Tasia, one friend has waist-length locs and the other is not diminutive by any stretch of the imagination. On any given day that could be gorgeous OR “ok looking”, TBH. We look like a Benetton ad walking down the street.
                Makes nan difference when talking about “harassment” though. Harassment isn’t “approaches”, and to the harassment tip we all get it about the same.

                • menajeanmaehightower

                  Gotcha. I think what you discussed with your first statement after mine is simply how black women are viewed by men in America to a point. When you were discussing shades and sizes. That’s our life.

          • Pirata do Cabide

            Black or Latina chicks would have gotten way more attention. If I’m out with a multi ethnic set of friends, I am always the one to get called out. They feel that as a sister they have even more of a right to approach

    • Rachmo

      Hmmm good points here.

    • Meridian

      “Honestly, I don’t see any real headway being made until Black and Latino men are able and ACCEPTED into adopting over forms of masculinity or personality traits in general that are seen and described as attractive.”

      I think it was here there was a post on some violent thing that happened because a dude was rejected, and I said that happens because of a total loss of power. When a male feels powerless in the world, in his personal circumstances, he turns to exerting himself over who he feels he can control. That’s women. When that doesn’t happen it results in violence. Street harassment is a step above that. It’s the lead in for something like that to happen. I wonder if it would go away if males were more focused on apprehending more societal and circumstantial power.

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