If you’ve been paying attention to the newspapers and internet news sources, you know that Barack Obama’s lost his mojo. It’s not that he’s not doing the best he can, but it’s been two years and all we’ve really learned is that there was no way he could pull off what everybody wanted him to do.
Mind you, I’m not sh*tting on Obama. I voted him just like most of us did here. So there’s that.
I also read the Forbes list of the world’s richest people. In the words of Liz, “that’s a lot of white people.” But more than that were a lot of great managers and great business people. Hate or love Wal-Mart, but thost folks know what they’re doing. Don’t even get me started on Larry Ellison or even any of the random other hundred or so billionaires who had to figure out how to run a huge enterprise and mix and match various pieces to achieve a greater goal: stacking benjamins.
Well being the deep thinking, sexxalicious mofo that I am I got to thinking about government from a different angle. You see, we all know government sucks a little. Politicians glad hand you and then take your money. Forget random folks in the neighborhood, you have to hide your kids and your wife from Congress. But what if…
…what if you could create your own government? Pick your own cabinet from anybody you want. Of course, entertainers are the most visible people most of us can think of. Heck, I couldn’t tell you who 98 percent of the people on the world’s richest people list were. But just say you could create your own US Government built out of the people that YOU think could do the job best. If you think Obama has it…great. I’m not sure he ever had the real experience it takes to be a great manager, but who am I to judge. He’s my POTUS.
It’s Friday, let’s pick our cabinets. Pick out a President, VP, Secretary of Defense, Secretary of Commerce, Secretary of Education, and some advisors.
Here’s the Panama Jackson government -
President - The guy who owns Home Depot, Arthur Blank
Every year folks vote this as one of the best places to work. People LOVE working there and they deal with wood all day. No prostitute. He provides a rest haven for immigrants and the Home Depot closest to me is in the hood and you know who shops there? White people. We got diversity, immigrants, profit, focus, and one of the best aisle setups ever. What does that have to do with anything? Not a clue, but the point is, that guy knows how to run a company that everybody can get behind. That’s who I want running my country. At least for a week or so…I mean he did toss Micheal Vick.
Vice President - Oprah Motherf*cking Winfrey
Forget Lil Mama, Oprah is the voice of the young people. Actually, I’m sure you already forgot Lil Mama until I reminded you of her so forget her again. Who doesn’t love her and/or listen to what she has to say. She’s got the social services on lock. Look how much crap she gives away for free. Can you say hand-out? As opposed to coming in with an agenda, she’d be the sounding board for the old white people and old women. Who knows we might even get the suffrage movement going.
Wait…women can already vote?!?!?!?!?!? Who thought that was a good idea?
Secretary of Defense - 50 Cent and/or Christ Partlow
50 makes sport of destroying people’s careers. Seems like he’d be a shoo-in, but Christ Partlow? That murderous mofo just has the necessary military precision and decision making neceessary to keep everybody at bay. Marlo’s not even real and I don’t want to f*ck with him so that I don’t have to deal with Chris and Snoop. No doggy.
Secretary of Commerce - Eminem and Will.I.Am/Dude’s selling Nutcracker on the streets of NYC
They’re the only two people selling units in a music industry where nobody is buying sh*t. Sounds like commerce to me. Plus, you have to have a white guy in a major cabinet position. It’s like fantasy basketballl. You should be required to keep at least one white person on your squad at all times. And if you’ve been to NY you know about nutcracker. Those relentless cats make sales.
Education Secretary - Trick Daddy.
He loves the kids.
I’m at my word limit so I’m just going to say all my advisors would be the Wu-Tang Clan. And do you know why?
Because the Wu-Tang Clain ain’t nothing to f*ck with.
Who would run your government?
It’s Friday. Enjoy your life.
-VSB P aka GO KING BEEF aka THE ARSONIST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3