Lists, Pop Culture, Race & Politics

My Country ‘Tis Of Thee

If you’ve been paying attention to the newspapers and internet news sources, you know that Barack Obama’s lost his mojo. It’s not that he’s not doing the best he can, but it’s been two years and all we’ve really learned is that there was no way he could pull off what everybody wanted him to do.

Mind you, I’m not sh*tting on Obama. I voted him just like most of us did here. So there’s that.

I also read the Forbes list of the world’s richest people. In the words of Liz, “that’s a lot of white people.” But more than that were a lot of great managers and great business people. Hate or love Wal-Mart, but thost folks know what they’re doing. Don’t even get me started on Larry Ellison or even any of the random other hundred or so billionaires who had to figure out how to run a huge enterprise and mix and match various pieces to achieve a greater goal: stacking benjamins.

Well being the deep thinking, sexxalicious mofo that I am I got to thinking about government from a different angle. You see, we all know government sucks a little. Politicians glad hand you and then take your money. Forget random folks in the neighborhood, you have to hide your kids and your wife from Congress. But what if…

…what if  you could create your own government? Pick your own cabinet from anybody you want. Of course, entertainers are the most visible people most of us can think of. Heck, I couldn’t tell you who 98 percent of the people on the world’s richest people list were. But just say you could create your own US Government built out of the people that YOU think could do the job best. If you think Obama has it…great. I’m not sure he ever had the real experience it takes to be a great manager, but who am I to judge. He’s my POTUS.

It’s Friday, let’s pick our cabinets. Pick out a President, VP, Secretary of Defense, Secretary of Commerce, Secretary of Education, and some advisors.

Here’s the Panama Jackson government –

President – The guy who owns Home Depot, Arthur Blank

Every year folks vote this as one of the best places to work. People LOVE working there and they deal with wood all day. No prostitute. He provides a rest haven for immigrants and the Home Depot closest to me is in the hood and you know who shops there? White people. We got diversity, immigrants, profit, focus, and one of the best aisle setups ever. What does that have to do with anything? Not a clue, but the point is, that guy knows how to run a company that everybody can get behind. That’s who I want running my country. At least for  a week or so…I mean he did toss Micheal Vick.

Vice President – Oprah Motherf*cking Winfrey

Forget Lil Mama, Oprah is the voice of the young people. Actually, I’m sure you already forgot Lil Mama until I reminded you of her so forget her again. Who doesn’t love her and/or listen to what she has to say. She’s got the social services on lock. Look how much crap she gives away for free. Can you say hand-out? As opposed to coming in with an agenda, she’d be the sounding board for the old white people and old women. Who knows we might even get the suffrage movement going.

Wait…women can already vote?!?!?!?!?!? Who thought that was a good idea?

Secretary of Defense – 50 Cent and/or Christ Partlow

50 makes sport of destroying people’s careers. Seems like he’d be a shoo-in, but Christ Partlow? That murderous mofo just has the necessary military precision and decision making neceessary to keep everybody at bay. Marlo’s not even real and I don’t want to f*ck with him so that I don’t have to deal with Chris and Snoop. No doggy.

Secretary of Commerce – Eminem and Will.I.Am/Dude’s selling Nutcracker on the streets of NYC

They’re the only two people selling units in a music industry where nobody is buying sh*t. Sounds like commerce to me. Plus, you have to have a white guy in a major cabinet position. It’s like fantasy basketballl. You should be required to keep at least one white person on your squad at all times. And if you’ve been to NY you know about nutcracker. Those relentless cats make sales.

Education Secretary – Trick Daddy.

He loves the kids.

I’m at my word limit so I’m just going to say all my advisors would be the Wu-Tang Clan. And do you know why?

Because the Wu-Tang Clain ain’t nothing to f*ck with.

Who would run your government?

It’s Friday. Enjoy your life.

-VSB P aka GO KING BEEF aka THE ARSONIST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Cousin Wale

    Word?

    • Cousin Wale

      Even though this post isn’t a (super) serious exercise, history has shown us that (the right) entertainers have the skill set to be excellent politicians.

      “Ronald Reagan? The actor?! Who’s Vice President? Jerry Lewis?”

      • Kirk Lazarus

        Thank you for the Back to the Future reference!

      • Kirk Lazarus

        Thank you for the Back to the Future reference!

      • ThisIshRightHereNinja

        YES!! #lovemesome B2TF

      • ThisIshRightHereNinja

        YES!! #lovemesome B2TF

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        here’s the thing about entertainers, for some odd reason (and despite our better judgement) we give a sh*t about what they say. hence bono’s inexplicable ability to penetrate (no LongFellow) political discussions. i think that overall most entertainers biggest asset is their social networking skills. and that’s all congress is, a bunch of gossips trading favors for favors. just like hollywood.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        here’s the thing about entertainers, for some odd reason (and despite our better judgement) we give a sh*t about what they say. hence bono’s inexplicable ability to penetrate (no LongFellow) political discussions. i think that overall most entertainers biggest asset is their social networking skills. and that’s all congress is, a bunch of gossips trading favors for favors. just like hollywood.

    • Cousin Wale

      Even though this post isn’t a (super) serious exercise, history has shown us that (the right) entertainers have the skill set to be excellent politicians.

      “Ronald Reagan? The actor?! Who’s Vice President? Jerry Lewis?”

  • Cousin Wale

    Word?

  • The Exotic Black

    President-Oprah
    Vice President-Trent W. Nelson

    ^I think thats a good match.
    Together we’d run the country the right way
    ^__^

  • The Exotic Black

    President-Oprah
    Vice President-Trent W. Nelson

    ^I think thats a good match.
    Together we’d run the country the right way
    ^__^

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    you are so random.

    • http://www.twitter.com/quiethaylestorm Keisha Brown

      co-sign. lol.

    • http://www.twitter.com/quiethaylestorm Keisha Brown

      co-sign. lol.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i saw a blue bird yesterday.

      • http://www.twitter.com/quiethaylestorm Keisha Brown

        it all makes sense then.
        carry on.

      • http://www.twitter.com/quiethaylestorm Keisha Brown

        it all makes sense then.
        carry on.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i saw a blue bird yesterday.

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    you are so random.

  • It Figures!

    PJ, you mean to tell me that you can pick the government and you go back to an old white man? Wow, I am shocked.

    • oliver

      why not? i’d rather have Arthur blank as president right now..shoot what part of home depot cant people understand, surely he knows a thing or two about job creation that the present occupant of the white house doesnt know

    • oliver

      why not? i’d rather have Arthur blank as president right now..shoot what part of home depot cant people understand, surely he knows a thing or two about job creation that the present occupant of the white house doesnt know

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      just cuz i’m picking means i have to pick a black cat? lol. i’m going with the person who runs one of the best run organizations in the nation. well, did, apparently he retired (thanks to whoever left that comment, too lazy to scroll down and read). but shoot, i LOVE home depot and so does everybody else. he figured out something.

      so racist. lol.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      just cuz i’m picking means i have to pick a black cat? lol. i’m going with the person who runs one of the best run organizations in the nation. well, did, apparently he retired (thanks to whoever left that comment, too lazy to scroll down and read). but shoot, i LOVE home depot and so does everybody else. he figured out something.

      so racist. lol.

  • It Figures!

    PJ, you mean to tell me that you can pick the government and you go back to an old white man? Wow, I am shocked.

  • Rog

    President-Questlove

    Vice President-Progressive Insurance Lady- She’s so Effin Happy

    Sec. of Defense-Danny Trejo (Dude from Machete)-He’s the dude from Machete

    Sec. of Commerce-Girl Scouts- Who can say no to Girl Scout Cookies?

    Education Sec.- Martin- “Martin Love the Kids”

    Sec. of Espionage (Yes I made it up)-A Black Woman………..A Woman in general. You heat-seak-missle-stealth-bomber mofos.

    • JessicaL

      Oh no. I spit out some coffee laughing at that.

    • JessicaL

      Oh no. I spit out some coffee laughing at that.

    • http://amani-coaching.com Nefertiti

      LMAO @ “He’s the dude from Machete” ….that movie was crazy, but he was killing the game! Literally…

    • http://amani-coaching.com Nefertiti

      LMAO @ “He’s the dude from Machete” ….that movie was crazy, but he was killing the game! Literally…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      was Machete any good? b/c that trailer sucked monkey nuts. i never wanted to NOT see a movie so bad in my life.

      • JessicaL

        Lol it was supposed to be bad. Did you ever see those Grindhouse movies that Tarantino and Rodriguez did? There was a fake trailer for the movie. The whole point of those movies were to pay homage to those terrible b-movies. I thought it was funny though.

      • JessicaL

        Lol it was supposed to be bad. Did you ever see those Grindhouse movies that Tarantino and Rodriguez did? There was a fake trailer for the movie. The whole point of those movies were to pay homage to those terrible b-movies. I thought it was funny though.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      was Machete any good? b/c that trailer sucked monkey nuts. i never wanted to NOT see a movie so bad in my life.

  • Rog

    President-Questlove

    Vice President-Progressive Insurance Lady- She’s so Effin Happy

    Sec. of Defense-Danny Trejo (Dude from Machete)-He’s the dude from Machete

    Sec. of Commerce-Girl Scouts- Who can say no to Girl Scout Cookies?

    Education Sec.- Martin- “Martin Love the Kids”

    Sec. of Espionage (Yes I made it up)-A Black Woman………..A Woman in general. You heat-seak-missle-stealth-bomber mofos.

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