Theory & Essay

Muffin.

Men do evil.

It’s sometimes referred to as the evil that men do.

I’m sure you’ve heard of it.

The men who do evil, who are notoriously famous for being the executors of the evil that men do, tend to be the rue of the Earth.

Let’s see. There was Hitler. No explanation needed there. There was Jim Jones, who along with his misgivings as a crazed lunatic who convinced hundreds of people to die in Guyana (not Panama), is responsible for making a ghetto brand a household name. For it is Jim Jones who caused the coinage of the now age-old adage, “You won’t get me to drink that Kool-Aid.”

The downside there is that Kool-Aid, on its own merits isn’t exactly a nutritious morning supplement, but still, it’s Kool-Aid. How can you ruin Kool-Aid for everybody by killing people with it? That’s just evil.

As you can see, the whole Kool-Aid things really bothers me.

You’re probably thinking to yourself right now, “Self, what in the hell is this uber-sexxy fellow speaking of?”

A-ha.

Well, amongst the throngs of evildoers who have passed over this Earth, there are a few men (and women) who do not get enough attention for their evil deeds. And I for one don’t think that’s fair. As any God-fearing, justice driven individual would do, I feel that it is my duty to bring those deeds to the limelight. I’m speaking of the creators of…

…low-rise jeans.

Evil.

Maybe it’s just me, but a cool 97% of women who wear low-rise jeans needn’t wear low-rise jeans.

In America, we have a problem. We tend to be largely out of shape. Low-rise jeans exploit this losing effort in the Battle of The Bulge by causing women who know good and got damn well that they have no business wearing anything that will accentuate their mid-sections to wear them and mushroom around their jeans. I mean extra back fat and shit that forms a muffin-top like effect surrounding the jeans.

Essentially I’ve seen women walking around looking like mushrooms.

And that is just wrong.

Granted it’s mostly younger white women who seem to not get the memo on when it is appropriate to wear certain clothing, but I’ve seen black women do it.

And even worse, I’ve seen MEN wearing low-rise jeans. And I don’t mean ninjas sagging either.

So yes, low-rise jeans and their creators are just evil. They know that women want to expose themselves. So women will continue walking around looking like mushrooms, making fashion faux pas after fashion faux pas.

It’s just not sexxy. And it counters that whole, “I don’t want to look fat” mantra that so many women wear so proudly. Know your body and know your limitations. It’s one thing to not care what people think. I applaud that spirit. It’s something altogether to not care what people think at the detriment of other people. Not wearing deodorant, or not bathing regularly, or not being able to wash clothes comes to mind. I can’t not look at a chick with her midriff exposed — especially if it makes me want to go buy some fungus.

Don’t you see the evil here?

For the legions of women who can wear low-rise jeans, keep bangin’. You are a testament to gyms or good genes everywhere. I appreciate seeing your thongs and the way your jeans hang off your hips. In fact, thank you for having discernible hips. It’s clearly an art, not a right.

But for those who cannot. Just perish. Panama says just perish.

We’re nearing Christmas, do the world some justice and let the world know other fashion faux pas that men and women need to do away with.

Sharing is caring, people.

Share.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

    Panama I realize you love yourself and your sexxxy but Jim Jones used Kool Aid to kill himslef and a whole lot of folks in Guyana not Panama

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      Yuppp… Jonestown was a tragic story. I always watch the documentary when it comes on. That was one twisted man.

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      IH didn’t drink PeeJay’s Kool-Aid! Haa-Ha!

      • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        @PBG, Initially I thought he was talking bout the other Jim Jones, you know the one we VSBers blame for all that is wrong in this world today

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @Intellectual Hedonist,

          thats who i thought too!

          *pop champagne*

          • charli skipper

            @shatani, lol. when i heard “pop champagne” the first time i actually liked it, and kinda thought it was kanye and somebody. the next time i was in my car and heard it–and heard the d.j. say that was jim jones–i involuntarily shrieked and slammed my radio off, whilst scratching the contact-dirt off myself. yeesssssss……he’s evil.

            • http://cornellwestside.blogspot.com/ Cornell Westside

              @charli skipper, I already know you (and the rest of the VSB population) will hate me for what I’m about write…but oh well, get in line :-P

              I hate Jim Jones too, but I’ll be damned if his verse on “Pop Champagne” isn’t my sh*t!!!…and since I’m in Harlem damn near urrr weekend, I feel it even more…if anything you have to be entertained by the pure niggery of his delivery and of course, his adlibs.

              When I go to the dealer, you know I cop that (what’s that?)
              Brand new ‘Rari and the roof dropped back (360)
              Came thru Harlem like the rooftop back (a yo!)
              Money in the bank man you know I stop that (stop that stop that stop that)
              Now we tryin’ to get up in the club (what?)
              They tryin’ to tell me “no”
              ‘Cause I’m rollin’ with the thugs (we got money b*tch!)
              So I flash a couple o’ dollars (yup)
              Told ‘em “we only want tables”
              “And we buyin out the bottles” (o oohhh)
              And y’all know the order, I told ‘em
              “Ten Roses and a few cold waters” (right!)
              Trony ‘Tron and a couple of lemons (go!)
              Ten Thousand Dollars stuffed up my denims (what else?)
              Standing on couches, couple of womens (aye baby)
              We was ballin hard, it was just the 9th inning (it’s early)
              Told shorty we could be friends (yup)
              And your friends could meet my friends (what else?)
              We could do this on a weekend or on a weekday (oh)
              We could do this on the freeway (go)
              Get it in a freak way
              Sh*t you could get all three ways (oooh)
              Blackberry two way
              Souped up cars on the thru-way (yup)
              We superstars, no Lupe
              We could do this like a duet (oh)
              Y’all be the singers, I’m the mic (unh)
              Let me dim the lights (unh)
              This was in the car when I was stopping at the light (take that)

              • miss t-lee

                @Cornell Westside,
                I can’t even hate on Jim.
                I hate to admit, I really like this song…lol

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                @Cornell Westside,

                sadly, i too liked this song… then i found out it was Dirt Boys… I will not listen to it strickly on principle.

                yeah, it beez like that

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                @Cornell Westside,

                I am not at all familiar w/this song.

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                @Cornell Westside,

                you know, ive never even heard this song, but now i’m tempted to find it online somewhere

              • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com mssula

                @Cornell Westside,

                Never heard it either. Hum.

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                y’all ain’t heard this??! its in HEAVY rotation ’round these parts… *sigh*

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                i’m amazed at anybody who ain’t heard this yet…especially on the east coast.

                its got a video complete with a bunch of men…spraying champagne on eachother.

                its the club jumpoff song right now…

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @Cornell Westside,

                im not nearly as principled as BBMo! lmao…i like it. i cant help myself.

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                “its got a video complete with a bunch of men…spraying champagne on eachother.”

                *raised eyebrow*

                hmmmmm that reminds me of the Boondocks episode “The Story of Gangstalicious, Part 2″

                “Homies Over Ho*s”

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                @Cornell Westside, I liked the song too when I heard it on the radio I was like yo that’s hot and would turn it up, then one afternoon the dj said Jim Jones and played the song. I immediately ripped out the radio and threw it out the window.

          • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

            @shatani, miss t-lee, Cornell Westside, and charlie skipper,

            The song is a banger…there’s no other way to look at it. I wrote about it on my blog a couple of weeks ago:

            http://my2cents-sense.blogspot.com/2008/11/my-favorite-song-right-now-part-two.html

            One can hate Jim Jones all they want, but if you hate on this song, you clearly have hate running through your blood.

            • miss t-lee

              @Monk,
              Yep…we’ve discussed this…it’s hot. I can’t even front…lol

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @miss t-lee,

                which is not to say that i dont have hate running through my blood, though. my cup runneth over and shyt.

            • charli skipper

              @Monk,
              One can hate Jim Jones all they want, but if you hate on this song, you clearly have hate running through your blood.

              LOL!! this is remixed version of what i tell people about beyonce.

          • http://cornellwestside.blogspot.com/ Cornell Westside

            @Champ & PBG….what rock have y’all been living under? You are missing out on some good niggotry.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jZmntdzFBY&feature=related

            things to take note of:
            1. The heavily-weaved young woman recklessly pouring ‘pagne in the beginning

            2. the bootleg Keyshia Cole video chick

            3. Jim Jones’ ski-goggles and skullie, nucca it is NOT the 90′s!

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @Cornell Westside,

              “3. Jim Jones’ ski-goggles and skullie, nucca it is NOT the 90’s!”

              maybe he was just cold.

        • http://www.rivercityromance.com Teacia

          @Intellectual Hedonist, yeah me too…that was until I remembered the other Jim Jones, who I initially thought they meant when they were talking about the Dirty Angel…these guys need to a learn a little thing called consistency up in here, lol.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Intellectual Hedonist, you can add him too…somehow that Jim Jones is responsible.

    • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist
    • AO

      @Intellectual Hedonist, I was going to throw that out too; of course the only reason I’m up on this little tidbit of information, wait for it, a brutha is seriously trapped in Germany and CNN International just showed a back to back to back segment on that very topic.

      I have got to get back stateside!! Peace

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Intellectual Hedonist, duly noted (and finna be corrected).

      you know, i actually know that. in fact, the reason i was born in panama is b/c my parents were sent to Guyana to aid in the cleanup efforts. at around the time of the massacre, mama panama would have been about 2 months pregnant…which means she probably didn’t know…lol.

      anyway, thanks for the correction…

      and viva la kool-aid.

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    I wrote a series of posts about things grown men and women need not wear a bit ago on my Blog

    These include:

    *Mullets
    *Grills
    *Crocs
    *Loud Logos
    *Partner Tattoos
    *Side Ponytails
    *Finger waves

    Talking about these made me tired

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      @Luvvie,

      I wear a side ponytail, Luvvie. Swept low and to the side. It’s rather fly, if I do say so myself.

      And…I do say so.

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

        @PBG,

        I agree… done properly, the side pony tail can be cute. Low, side swept (and in the summer with a pretty flower) can be quite beguiling..

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @blackberry molasses,

          BBMo, you e-know me so well. I have a bunch of flowers I use for my side ponytails in summer. I just started last summer when I finally got enough length for the style.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @PBG,

            ive rocked the side pony…which just turns out to be a side puff. but more often i will rock the side bun and its hotness!

          • Peyso

            @PBG, I can tell you’re a respectable black women, you waited for the length to come in first.

            • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

              @Peyso,
              I agree Peyso (hey what happened to the new name??)

              I respect you so much more for that PBG.

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                @Monk,

                With both Monk’s and Peyso’s endorsement, along w/IVR’s stamp of “awesome” yesterday…I think I may officially be cool.

                *beams* :)

            • IVR

              @Peyso, “I can tell you’re a respectable black women, you waited for the length to come in first.”

              This reminds me of those little girls whose moms would pull their hair back so tight that they just looked surprised all the time to fit a little tuft of hair in a barrette* (sp?) . . . ahh . . .the good ole Brooklyn days.

              • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

                @IVR,

                the phrase “little tuft of air” just bout made my morn. I thank thee

              • IVR

                @Luvvie, “the phrase “little tuft of air” just bout made my morn. I thank thee”

                No problem!

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        @PBG,

        The side ponytails I’m thinkin bouts are the ones that are high on the head. I appreciate a side-swept chignon. But the brush that sits on the side of the crown is NOT whats smoking in the parkway.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @Luvvie,

          *oh mickey youre so fine, youre so fine you blow my mind, hey mickey!*

          • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

            @shatani,

            A rapper hasn’t remade this yet?? Just asking…

        • overit

          @Luvvie,

          I now feel compelled to send you a pic of me in a side ponytail. I think I shall.

          • 8th Wonder

            I need to see this as well, thanks.

          • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

            @overit,

            I insist you send me this pic. But IF i roast it, know that I still heart you

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @overit,

            why dont you just post it on your facebook so we can all partake!

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        @PBG, lol me too PBG or rather I used to rock my side afro puff.. it was supa dupa fly.. but now I am locking..I miss my puff….

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @Shay-d-lady,

          You’re locking? Alright now! Welcome to The Family. :)

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. isonebadmutha….

          @Shay-d-lady,

          Yay for locking!! Whoo Hoo!!!

        • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

          @Shay-d-lady,

          I was locked and cut them off bc I missed the afro puff…. but happy locking, it was fun!

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @Shay-d-lady,

          ooooh, you are, shay-d?!?! im gonna lock soon too! i love my fro, but its too long now for me to want to deal with it.

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

      @Luvvie,

      http://www.mulletsgalore.com/

      because I wish to offend today… LMAO

      • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

        @blackberry molasses,
        the mullet is awesome
        I think I shall invent the negro-mullet

        • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

          @Deviant,

          the negro mullet has been here, on black women stuck in a Salt n Pepa phase. Business in the front party in the back, I hate that hairdo wit a passion.

          • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

            @Relax, Relate, Alise,
            but there is no male version

            • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

              @Deviant,

              And there shouldn’t be. No, not ever.

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @PBG,

                sad to say, yes there is…

                *cough* lionel ritchie *cough*

            • IVR

              @Deviant, “but there is no male version”

              What about the mohawk p-diddy looking thing people are running around with . . . that’s gotta be close.

              • SouthernGirl

                @IVR, hell no! i hate that sh1t

              • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

                @IVR,
                thats not a mullet thats jus b.s.
                anything that begins with “diddy does..” or ends with “like diddy does” is soemthing that should not be done

                when I think mullet I think of the hair guys in the old NWA wore. Those are mullets. Old Ric Flair and Magnum T.A. hairstyles.

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @Deviant

                i think “diddy does” is gonna be added to my repertoire…

            • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

              @Deviant,

              If you invent the male negro mullet, I shall curse your first born to have the sense of style of Cam’ron. He gon LOVE pink fur.

              So umm, don’t do it. I will seek revenge

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @Luvvie,

                *cough* A.C. Slater *cough*

                (saved by the bell, for those who dont know)

            • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

              @Deviant, the shag is close enough…..

            • RedBeanzNRice

              @Deviant,

              Two words:
              Jermaine Jackson.

              • 8th Wonder

                “Jermaine Jackson is so greasy, the cops can’t catch him!”

                -Chris Rock

              • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

                @Ocho Pan

                Follow the drip follow the drip

          • IVR

            @Relax, Relate, Alise, “the negro mullet has been here, on black women stuck in a Salt n Pepa phase. Business in the front party in the back, I hate that hairdo wit a passion.”

            My old supervisor had this black woman mullet (my caucasian brother in arms had to explain to me what a mullet was), I always thought it was exciting when it bopped up and down on top. . . waiting for it to fall over but it never did . . . and when she got it tuned up. . . u couldn’t tell her NOTHIN!

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @IVR,

              im so mad at the usage of the term “tune up” for mullet maintenance! lmao

    • em

      @Luvvie, hold up, just hold the eff up!!! Side ponytails, made a come back? Oh lawd…

    • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. isonebadmutha….

      @Luvvie, I see women rocking finger waves in Raleigh/Durham all of the time like it’s the ’90s. I just want to snatch them, and wash out that crunchy ish.

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

        @N.I.A. isonebadmutha….,

        you live in the triangle? me too, another NC vsber, hooray!

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. isonebadmutha….

          @Relax, Relate, Alise,

          Whoo Hoo!!! The Triangle is reppin’ up in this piece!! lol

          Do you live in Raleigh?

          • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

            @N.I.A. isonebadmutha….,

            Durham….

      • http://zdubb.wordpress.com ZDubb

        @N.I.A. isonebadmutha….,

        I usually read and don’t comment. (hence a lurker)
        But I just had to…
        I’m in the Triangle area and they gotta be out of gel – I’m seeing way too many fingerwaves on a DAILY basis!

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

          @ZDubb,

          don’t know where the official welcome committee is but

          WELCOME

          **sprinkles Diva Dust ™**

        • SouthernGirl

          @ZDubb, welcome and sh!t *gold stars*

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @ZDubb,

          Welcome ZDubb…

          I’ll add your screen name to the roster in the Prayer Cubicle.

          And somewhere right now, some mad scientist is working on yet another batch of horrid brown gel, so no hunnybunny…they will never run out. *sadness*

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          @ZDubb,

          Sorry that the Welcome committee is late. I had to go stand on line for some rice. You know, the important things.

          Anyway, welcome to our crooked palace of VerySmartpeople. Here at the land of the smarts, we aim to please (no one), and aim to roast (everyone).

          We got 3 corners. The IG Corner, the Prayer Cubicle, and the Sat Down Corner. Some of us have been sent to all 3 at one point in time. Me, I mainly monitor the IG corner, making sure riff raffs (aka people with sense) dont find their way in.

          With that being said, enjoy, kick back. Keep ur shoes (we don’t like the smell of feets).

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @ZDubb,

          welcome and sh*t

      • kalia

        @N.I.A. isonebadmutha…., lol, any style that has to be “washed out” had to have expired in the 90′s

      • http://www.fyre08.blogspot.com Ro

        @N.I.A. isonebadmutha….,

        I promise the RDU/RTP area is like a mecca. My auntie is a hair dresser and I cringe everytime I hear someone ask for fingerwaves or demand that she use the brown gel!

        *cringing at the thought right now*

    • http://www.rivercityromance.com Teacia

      @Luvvie, Awww shat…and just when my girl and I thought we were going the bring the finger waves back Keshia Cole style.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Teacia, finger waves? are bad.

        thank you.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @Panama Jackson,

          what about baby hair?

          • SouthernGirl

            @shatani, don’t start. lol

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @SouthernGirl,

              *goes to sat down*

    • Voiceofreason

      @Luvvie,

      Low side ponytails are cool if and only if you have enough hair to pull of the look. If not, all you’ve got is a crooked snatchback.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Luvvie,

      ***awarding daily “shameless self pluggery” trophy to the luv bug***

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        @The Champ,

        Thank you for this award Champ. Does it come with a widget? I would thank my mama but I think this is one speech she’d like to sit out on.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Luvvie,

          i dont think you can handle one of my widgets

          • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

            @The Champ,

            “i dont think you can handle one of my widgets”

            Ur widgets have BEEN handled by me. How soon we forget, Champ, lol

  • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

    Old Navy has different rises, thank goodness.

    But their sizes are janky as h3ll. I can fit a size 8 (loosely), but a size 10 is too tight? What gives, haters?

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

      @PBG,

      the fact that you can get the black woman posterior into a pair of Old Navy jeans is commendable. I generally end up with the whole butt cleavage/need a belt thing going on… Only one pair I ever bought from them accomodated the booty.

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        @blackberry molasses,

        I found one pair that fit and bought the same dayum jeans in every wash they had. My booty…aye! Combined w/my height, it’s always an issue.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @blackberry molasses,

        ive never bought jeans at old navy…and the different rises must be new cuz for the longest EVERYthing was low rise and that just wont work for me.

        plus im mad at old navy anyway cuz you can only get plus sizes online. eff that! they got maternity in the store but cant have plus size? azzholes.

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @shatani,

          “plus im mad at old navy anyway cuz you can only get plus sizes online.”

          Yeah, they are wrong for that.

          I’m not sure how long they’ve had the various rises, but I appreciate that and the various lengths as well. I can’t do the low rise OR the average/tall lengths.

          • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

            @PBG, No, they have plus sizes and extra small sizes in the store, both of which I cannot wear, I fall in the scmedium, which do not normally fit my buttocks properly, but every now and then i find an irregular gem., i am gonna shut my drunk posting azz up….

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @Relax, Relate, Alise,

              um…in what store? they stopped carrying plus sizes in the stores a long time ago….they carry the XS and they carry maternity in the stores now. if youre big but not pregnant, you betta get thee to the innanet.

          • miss t-lee

            @PBG,
            Old Navy’s plus sizes are ill fitting anyway. That ish is like a juniors plus or something…
            terrible.

        • overit

          @shatani, Old Navy pants are the worst anyway. Unless its pajamas.

          • miss t-lee

            @overit,
            I agree.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @overit,

            i only ever buy skirts and dresses from them. i got a fabulous halter dress for like $10.

      • SouthernGirl

        @blackberry molasses, i stopped attempting to buy jeans from old navy years ago. i’m pretty petite but i still get the whole thing in the back too cause me and becky don’t have the same @ss.

        had this problem with one style of victoria’s secret sweats. the white chick that was helping me was all, it looks good, that’s the way they’re supposed to be and i’m looking at her crazy so she’s calls over another chick who was black and she confirmed that i was not tripping. she just looked at me like, girl those were not made for us and promptly took me to a pair that would fit.

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      @PBG,

      Old Navy pants are wonkier than… You know what, I’mo leave Forrest alone. I like him

      • puff

        @Luvvie,

        ahahahahahahhahaa you wrong for that. poor forrest. it ain’t his fault you gotta tilt your head to properly look at him straight on.

        sidenote on the jeans: i appreciate levi’s new hi rise jeans. while i do not have a muffin top, there’s something extra swexy and non-ninth grade about wearing jeans that fit correctly without exposing le crack, and that you can tuck a pretty blouse into.

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          @puff, baby them levis is the bomb.. you gotta go to the web site but those levis 515 in the dark rinse? shyt you cant tell me nothin in them joints….LOL stallionares….LMAO I have moved on from muthaf!@cka Im ill and have been ending my sentences with that… I love rank dayum foolishness, I swear I do

          • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

            @Shay-d-lady,

            Oh, how I love Levi’s. They do me right every time. I need to get a few more pairs in my life, since jeans are pretty much my daily uniform.

        • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

          @puff, like I tell my 7 year old (non hip having pants always sliding down) neice

          crack kills!

    • laylah

      @PBG,

      old navy jeans are effed up. i have some size fours that are loose and others that are tight and dig into my sides.

    • laylah

      @PBG,

      you guys should try miss sixty, best jeans ever. i swear, they look good on everyone and they last long.

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        @laylah,

        What are their policies in relation to those of us under 5’5″?? This information is pertinent to my life situations.

        • SouthernGirl

          @PBG, i second this emotion

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @PBG,

          and what of those of us upwards of 5’7?? i dont wish to signal that a flood is a-comin…

      • RedBeanzNRice

        @laylah,

        “i swear, they look good on everyone and they last long.”

        Industrial strength jeans?

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        @laylah,

        Yes, I need to know if Miss Sixty stans for us vertically challenged individuals.

        • laylah

          @Luvvie, and everyone else…

          i don’t know about the length because they are long on me and im 5’6. well, when you are ever in the market to buy some jeans to rock with heels… miss sixty is the way to go. and yes, industrial strength, they are. i’ve had these jeans since my sophomore year of college and they still don’t look worn out yet.

  • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

    My sisters with 4 breasts you know who you are, the one trying to fit your H (cup size ) breast in a DDD cup, causing the 4 breast effect. Im sure over the Thanksgiving Holiday one of your relatives exhibited this faux pas.

    It scares small children and medium sized animals so please do us a favor take your arse to Nordstrom and get fitted properly for a bra an then actually buy one that fits properly, and WEAR IT! Stop stuffing yourself into one that is one too many cups too small, because unless you are from another planet or a quadraped there is no reason you should have four protruding breasts with disaligned cleavage.

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      LOL…That’s called a “quadroboob”!

      • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        @PBG, its called unnecessary and ridonkulous! I mean for God’s sake I can look down at my breast and know I have no business in a D cup, can’t she feel the circulation to her mammary glands is geting cut off?

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @Intellectual Hedonist,

          Her circulation being cut off makes her dumb…brain goes on low power. She doesn’t realize she is looking a hot mess.

          At least, that’s my theory.

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

        @PBG,

        i call it sandwich boob… looks like they got two diagonal cut sandwiches stuck on their chests… makes not a lick of sense

        *grumbles* ain’t gonna offend my eyes trying to create cleavage with an ill fitting undergarment

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        @PBG, na uh… my granny calls it cow titties…. cause you know they droopy too….

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @Shay-d-lady,

          I officially love your Granny for that. I’m sending hugs her way!

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

      @Intellectual Hedonist,
      i’m mad u said medium sized animals, that made my drunk night, thanks.

    • 8th Wonder

      “It scares small children and medium sized animals….”

      I’m done with you.

    • SouthernGirl

      @Intellectual Hedonist, I used to work at victoria’s secret. you don’t know what i had to go through to get some chicks in the proper sized bra. the stories i could tell….

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @SouthernGirl,

        i worked at lane bryant and it was the same damn mess! and i dont get why folks are so resistant to change when ish actually looks better!?!?!

    • SouthernGirl

      @Intellectual Hedonist, i used to work at victoria’s secret. you don’t know the struggle i went through daily to grt chicks in the right bra. *smh* the stories i could tell…

      • SouthernGirl

        @SouthernGirl, see, blame this double posting on technology…

    • laylah

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      i agree. i have this friend who shares the same cup size as me. this heathen tries to fit her girls into a 34 C. she knows good and well shes a D, but she thinks she has cute cleavage. falling out of your bra isnt cute… you just look messy.

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        @laylah,

        I would say sumthin but VEG may kill me. *whistles out*

  • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

    I live in NJ, the home of some of the worst fashion offenders in the world…

    The Guido Look– greased back hair, extra-shmedium shirts, tight pants and motorcyle boots while driving a t-top trans-am or an Iroc-Z

    The Skank-Whore Look- 2 sizes too small tank top, no bra (with saggy boobs) and of course, the muffin top creating 2 sizes too small low rise jeans

    Those ‘potato sack’ banded bottom dresses–for being so damn difficult wear in a flattering manner, they sure are ubiquitous.

    Jeans tucked into your timbs (females especially, but males too)— WTF?!?!

    extra-loud logos/logos plastered all over your stuff… you are a walking advertisement for x-brand and they ain’t even paying you. you clearly don’t respect the gangsta

    Obviously fake designer stuff– JUST STOP IT.

    Rainbow colored weaves– walking around looking like a bag of skittles and a box of crayola had chex on your head

    Toupee looking weaves/wigs– you offend me, madam… sometimes sir

    I’ll stop because I’m starting to feel ill, thinking about these

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      @blackberry molasses,

      I absolutely HATE logos. They are just the worst. People tend to put too much stock in a brand name…and not own any real stock. Dumb a$$es.

      • charli skipper

        @PBG, this might be a mild bit haterish, but it annoys me when ugly people brag about brand names. you’re not cute in jordache. so you’re gonna be ugly in prada. save your money, honey.

        • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

          @charli skipper, smh @ jordache

          I used to own a pair in middle school

          • charli skipper

            @Intellectual Hedonist, ain’t nothin wrong wit some Jordache! lol

            • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

              @charli skipper, I didn’t say there were. all I said was that I wore them in middle school, just like I wore leg warmers in middle school, more than 20 years ago. That is all I’m saying about that

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                @Intellectual Hedonist,

                When my Mother got me leg warmers w/a matching sweater one year for Christmas back in my junior high school days, I thought I was the bee’s knees for sure! LOL! Wooow!

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                @Intellectual Hedonist, you know leg warmers were the ish, I aint even mad they are making a comeback, but you wont see them on my legs.

                This goes in line with knowing your limitations, at a certain age, certain fashions aint for you. you aint looking young and trendy you looking dumb and stoopit!

                So while I will buy some legwarmers for the kids I had my legwarmer days. Besides my legs are too hot to be covered up

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @charli skipper,

          “it annoys me when ugly people brag about brand names. you’re not cute in jordache. so you’re gonna be ugly in prada. save your money, honey.”

          LOL!

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @The Champ,

            i second that emotion.

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      @blackberry molasses,

      African men are GOOD for extra loud logos. Their need to display that they are wearing a name brand is ridiculous. I always have the same reaction.

      1. I see you’ve visited Canal Street lately
      2. Good for you. Go Sat down! No one cares.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @blackberry molasses,

      these chicks in philly sadden me….i mean EVERYthing is at least 2 sizes too small. even the thinnest chick looks fat and dumpy cuz her low rise jeans are FAR too small and she can barely move her legs, meanwhile her top was meant for a child sized doll….it just does not make sense.

      and i also have to lodge a complaint against the friggin bubble dress…those things are horrendous! they dont look good on anyone ever…EVER! im tired of shapely women wearing shapeless clothing….it aint for us. its for women shaped like pre-pubescent boys and even they dont look good in it.

      • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

        @shatani, “cuz her low rise jeans are FAR too small and she can barely move her legs”

        I. am. done!

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @Nicki Sunshine,

          im for real! they be waddling across the street all slow, takin babysteps and junk…then the light change and they wanna roll eyes when folks start beeping horns!

          its really ridiculous…if youre a size 10, why try and squeeze into a size 6? so you can say you wear a 6? chile please, you tell somebody youre a 6 and they think, “well, hardly!” *smdh*

          • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

            @shatani, LMAO. That is disgusting. I love my lil sister but her and her friends are guilty of it. I’m 28 and these heffas look more grown woman than me (and not in a good way!)…. Yesterday, she had on this tight polo style shirt and I just kept poking at her stomach.

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @Nicki Sunshine,

              oh, cuz THATS not gonna give her a complex!! lmao…theres a better way to discourage that behavior, miss sunshine!

              • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

                @shatani, LOL! Girl, she is 19! Soft love didn’t work. Trust, she’s not lacking in self esteem at all, her and those chubby little girlfriends of hers.

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @shatani,

                lmao!! im mad at you describing her crew like they wish to welcome you to munchkin land!

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      @blackberry molasses, can I co sign on the obviously fake knock offs.. I mean really you can afford a prada bag and you work at the gas station.. and since when did gucci make sweat suits and matching socks? I mean for real? or the god awful trend that was fake burberry plaid….THE HORRORS….

      • puff

        @Shay-d-lady,

        no! not matching socks!

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @puff,

          i would rock some gucci socks! lmao

      • sisanda

        @Shay-d-lady, hahahaahahahaha

        That shite isn’t right or bright!!

      • Luvtheshoes

        @Shay-d-lady,

        One of my girlfriends has that gawd awful fake Burberry in a matching hat and belt set. I don’t have the heart to tell her she ain’t foolin nobody because she seems so darn proud of herself when she wears it. SMH

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

          @Luvtheshoes,

          if you are truly her friend… TELL HER NOW!!!
          please… i beg you.

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          @Luvtheshoes,

          Friends dont let friends look a fool.

          Them the friends who I walk 4 feet in front of so folks dont think im wit em.

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @Luvtheshoes,

          You need to tell her…immediately. I promise you, Jesus and the rest of humanity wants you to do it.

          • Luvtheshoes

            @PBG,

            Yeah, I’d tell her but she’s the kind who would cut a bi!ch. I’m not trying to explain to my insurance that I need coverage over fake Burberry.

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @blackberry molasses,

      “Jeans tucked into your timbs (females especially, but males too)— WTF?!?!”

      I agree. That should only be done on long mountain hikes and when diving into the ocean to save someone’s life.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        and if youre going on a bike ride…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @blackberry molasses,

      “I live in NJ, the home of some of the worst fashion offenders in the world…”

      based on your post…you are absolutely right. and i thought baltimore was bad.

      ninjas tuck in Tims??!?!?!?!?!? like do you mean make their pants look tapered and tuck them in…or stuff the jeans into the top and don’t tie the joints…?

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        @Panama Jackson,

        Keep thinking Baltimore is bad…because it is. That’s the very first place I ever saw colored metallic spray on finger waves, circa 1991. Jesus, be a fence around that entire city.

        But yeah, Jersey sounds like they’re losin’ too.

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          @PBG, “Jesus, be a fence around that entire city”

          LOL!!! girl perhaps we should have a cleansing, let me go get my vela (large round glass encased candle) with the Virgin of Guadalupe on it

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

        @Panama Jackson,
        “ninjas tuck in Tims??!?!?!?!?!? like do you mean make their pants look tapered and tuck them in…or stuff the jeans into the top and don’t tie the joints…?”

        …..both…..

        Makes my eyes twitch every time I see that ish… not coincidentally, all of this spills over into the Illadelph where I work. They stay LOSIN’…

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @blackberry molasses,

          delaware aint doin much better….the whole tri-state area is cursed….

  • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

    two more before i hit the sack

    women who wear dresses and don’t wear the proper undergarments– just ruining the pretty of the dress

    women who don’t believe in proper hair removal. I heard this woman say on the radio that she never had her upper lip groomed because her mom told her men think its sexy…. WHAT. THE.FCUK.

    • charli skipper

      @blackberry molasses,

      i hate it when women say they don’t wax their face because it’ll grow back thicker. um…bi**h, you supposed to keep waxing. and i thank you.

      • miss t-lee

        @charli skipper,
        Applause for this comment!!!
        This seriously just made me cackle!!!!
        bwhahahahha

    • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      @blackberry molasses, “women who wear dresses and don’t wear the proper undergarments– just ruining the pretty of the dress”

      Amen Praise the Good Lawd and Mr. Blackwell!

      if I see another black bra or slip under a light colored dress I’m a throw Red Paint on someone like the PETA people throw on folks wearing fur. You know you wrong for that.

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @blackberry molasses,

      “…she never had her upper lip groomed because her mom told her men think its sexy.”

      I have never met a man who wants his woman’s stache to be thicker than his – it negates his sexy.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        um…i know a woman with a beard. i mean, she aint grizzly adams (grizzly adams had a beard! lol) but its definitely there and she SWEARS men love her shyt! and to be honest….she ALWAYS got a man! lol…now the men be trife (like the one who wet her bed) but she trife too!

        im just sayin.

        • V Renee

          @shatani

          Wow!!! Im damn near speechless right now.

          Forreal????

        • 8th Wonder

          “now the men be trife (like the one who wet her bed)…”

          *blink*

          • miss t-lee

            @8th Wonder,
            Yeah…I was wondering that too.
            Standards apparently aren’t that high.

          • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

            @8th Wonder,

            yeah, I read that on my crackberry while riding the train and audibly snorted…

            He PEED her bed?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @8th Wonder,

            i didnt blink, i just bust out in laughter! and he didnt just pee her bed once neither. several damn times! how the hell you invite a bedwettin mofo BACK to bed?!?! the lovin musta be FIYAH! even still…yo azz is sleepin on a tarp on the floor til you get housebroken. just sayin…

            • miss t-lee

              @shatani,
              ain’t all the lovin’ in the world that good to have me sharing my bed with a pizzy azz dude…lmao
              C’mon now.

            • 8th Wonder

              No, DAMN that

              Aint no loving good enough to get myself or my household goods peed on afterwards.

              next.

            • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

              @shatani,

              wait, wait, wait a dayum minute… he did this MORE THAN ONCE??!?! She let him back in her bed??

              me thinks your friend may need an intervention.

              Jesus be some STANDARDS…

              • 8th Wonder

                Or a pair of depends.

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @blackberry molasses,

                or a rubber fitted bedsheet…

              • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

                @blackberry molasses,
                or some detrol la aaaaahahahahaha

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @blackberry molasses,

                *and i dont have to go right now…*

        • http://www.kindredsmile.blogspot.com KindredSmile

          @shatani, This whole comment made me cackle

        • puff

          @shatani,

          “like the one who wet her bed”

          ***flat-lining***

          why God, why????

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @puff,

            and you know what…its clearly some kind of problem, but how bout he wet the bed and then tried to act like he didnt know how that warm delight got there!?!?!? ninja say what!??! that ish didnt just start tonight. yo azz KNEW you was a bed wetter and couldnt warn a sista???? mattress RUINED!

            • SouthernGirl

              @shatani, “warm delight”

              i severely dislike you right now. *gasping for air*

        • RedBeanzNRice

          @shatani,

          Wet her bed? A grown ass man that wets the bed? SMH. See what having a beard gets you? Ugh.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @RedBeanzNRice,

            yeah, a beard got her two husbands and 3 kids….shes single now though. actually, no she aint! she got a man…i forgot about him. imma have to see what his defect is….

            • RedBeanzNRice

              @shatani,

              Well, maybe it’s just me but, I’d rather take my chances without facial hair. I’m not tryna grow no beard to get a man that wets the bed, 2 husbands that prolly did something just as bad, if not worse, and 3 kids that will learn to love facial hair on women. I can’t; just can’t.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @shatani,

          now the men be trife (like the one who wet her bed) but she trife too!

          ***debating whether or not i want to ask you to expound***

    • IVR

      @blackberry molasses, “women who don’t believe in proper hair removal.”

      I must agree with this, I saw a woman last week get on the elevator in some low cut top with her taco meat hanging out, I almost threw up. She was apparently proud of it though because it was damn cold outside to be that exposed.

      Also, there is an attractive older woman in the building who wears skirts and refuses to shave her legs. Thank God Winter is coming.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @IVR, sad to say, i know a chick who did this in college. chick had chest hair and had both the nerve and the audacity to wear v-neck t-shirts.

        little pig-tail hairs laying ever so gently against the neckband of the t-shirts. i can’t believe she didnt see that sh*t.

        and her line sisters SWORE it never existed. i shoulda took pics.

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @Panama Jackson,

          “little pig-tail hairs laying ever so gently against the neckband of the t-shirts.”

          Ever so gently though?? DAYUM!! Maybe she put some Just For Me kiddie relaxer on it!

          Bwahahahaaa!!

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @PBG,

            nah, she got that good hurr! she dont need no textcha!

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          @Panama Jackson,

          “little pig-tail hairs laying ever so gently against the neckband of the t-shirts.”

          I wonder if she deep conditions her chest hair. If its gon b there, you might as well be moisturized. I’m just saying…

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

        @IVR,

        I’m a little vexed and perplexed right now. I’m still on this whole “woman with chest hair” thing… was she a natural born woman? cuz… i mean, i’ve never seen a natural born woman with taco meat.

        • IVR

          @blackberry molasses, “I’m a little vexed and perplexed right now. I’m still on this whole “woman with chest hair” thing… was she a natural born woman? cuz… i mean, i’ve never seen a natural born woman with taco meat.”

          Up until that point in my 26 years on this planet I have not seen that either. . . I’ve seen the little whiskers on the chestal region. . . that is OK . . . Oh, and I witnessed what I thought was a dime shaving their face in my bathroom . . . full lather . . its not her fault, but DAAAAMN that was disturbing.

          Now that I think of it, I’ve witnessed plenty of disturbing things in the fairer sex, I still love y’all though . . ( just not those ones)

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @IVR,

            lmao!! dang…did ole girl get an invite back? did she use your aftershave?

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        @IVR,

        “Also, there is an attractive older woman in the building who wears skirts and refuses to shave her legs. Thank God Winter is coming.”

        My downstairs neighbor will NOT shave her dayum legs, no matter how many dirty looks I gave her @ the bus stop all summer long. I think she caught the same bus w/me just to taunt me and turn my stomach early in the morning. I call that chick “Monkey Legs”. She should be swinging through trees to get to her job.

        That’s alright though, come Crissmus morn, she shall find a glittery little gift bag on her welcome mat w/two bottles of Nair and a handwritten note inside that reads That shyt ain’t cute!!

        I’m tired of her madness.

        • SouthernGirl

          @PBG, please report back. i wanna know how that goes. lmao

    • miss t-lee

      @blackberry molasses,
      “women who wear dresses and don’t wear the proper undergarments– just ruining the pretty of the dress”

      I hate this too.

    • laylah

      @blackberry molasses,

      i never understood this. i was christmas shopping the other day and the cashier was a young girl, about the age of 15, with a full mustache. this is my confusion…. this girl obviously took the time the paste down her hair to her head in a tight ass bun (nyc teenagers are notorious for this) and apply pounds of lip gloss. you mean to tell me you don’t see that caterpillar across your upper lip? c’mon now.

      foolishness.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @laylah,

        no, the bling of her lips is meant to distract and disorient you so you wont notice the Magnum P.I. she got goin on…

    • Gem of the Ocean

      “I heard this woman say on the radio that she never had her upper lip groomed because her mom told her men think its sexy….”

      while i don’t think it’s sexy by ANY stretch of the imagination, i feel bad for women who have lots of facial (and apparently chest) hair. it’s a hormone imbalance–some women just have higher testosterone levels. they can’t help that. that being said, i think women should just do what they can to remove said excess hair. esp if it’s thick and combable.

  • charli skipper

    Sagging!!!! why are people still sagging? why are grown men sagging? why can i see all your “draws” because you’re sagging? why is lil wayne on tv SAGGING?

    ugh. there needs to a be a sagging PSA.
    “Obama. My anti-sag….the more you knoooooooow :)”

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @charli skipper,

      i saw this young man the other day on the street….he was probably of age. he was handsome and talking to his elders like he had sense in his head and sounded smart and for a moment i had faith in the younger generation….then he stood up and i could see his rump. *smh* absolutely ridiculous! i hope he dont go on job interviews like that.

    • SouthernGirl

      @charli skipper, i don’t care how old you are, just stop with the sagging pants. yes, i can appreciate a man with a nice @ss but if i can see it before i even know you’re name, keep it moving.

      once i was driving home and i kid you not. these kids were outside fighting but…..they’d go in and go at it, throwing punches and what not, then both have to take a step back to pull their pants up!!! and then start fighting again.

      • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com mssula

        @SouthernGirl,

        This —>they’d go in and go at it, throwing punches and what not, then both have to take a step back to pull their pants up!!! and then start fighting again <— made me snort.

        It’s like the 21st century version of dueling rules.

        Rule #37 : The Challenger and the Challenged have the right to 45 seconds of pants lifting per 3 minutes of duel. Ridiculous!

        • SouthernGirl

          @mssula, chile please.lol….could you imagine if this was the wild west? if ninjas wearing pistols and ammo can keep their pants up why can’t you? FAIL!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @charli skipper,

      i say “pull your f*ckin pants up” at least once a week to various kids. of course, this is after i frisk them to make sure theyre not concealing any automatic weapons

  • postmodern pwnage

    skinny jeans are own my hit list. I don’t know who I hate it on more, men or women? These emo kids with the sagging skinny jeans, or big girls trying to squeeze into them? just evil!

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      @postmodern pwnage, I hate them more on men.. there is never a reason a man should wear skinny jeans.. I mean since when are thin ankles an attractive asset for a man to possess?

      • postmodern pwnage

        @Shay-d-lady, LOL exactly, and the whole ‘mangina’ effect that men get when rocking skinny jeans is not nice at all. I wish we could be done with the 80′s already.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @postmodern pwnage,

          you mean the moose knuckle (1st cousin of the camel toe)?? lmao…

      • Leila

        @Shay-d-lady, I concur!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @postmodern pwnage, i hate skinny jeans too. especially on dudes. why on God’s green earf would you wear jeans that purposefully constrict your mandom? just not a good look. figuratively and literally.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @Panama Jackson,

        i had a skinny 2520 friend suggest that i get some skinny jeans. my first thought is…what the hell kinda sense does it make to have skinny jeans in plus size? is that not an oxymoron?!?!

        • miss t-lee

          @shatani,
          Avenue had them.
          I ain’t lying, I saw ‘em.
          I walked right past them jokers too.

  • puff

    i personally cannot abide ugly shoes. especially on women. how with all of the beautiful platform heels and cute flats in the world does a chick think that those godforsaken black strappy sandals with a stunted heel that leave her foot looking like a pig with a fetish for leather garters are acceptable? no sir, i cannot co-sign it.

    • postmodern pwnage

      @puff that really hurt my feelings. Excuse me while I go drink bleach lol… are they really that bad?

      • puff

        @postmodern pwnage,

        i’m sorry girl but they are. i always think of white college age girls rocking them ishes to dances with their sparkly spandex dresses thinking they’re cute… the whole effect offends my highly sensitive eyes.

        uggs, btw, are also firmly in the fugly shoe category.

        • SouthernGirl

          @puff, i will co-sign on the regular plain make your ankles and legs look three sizes too big uggs. especially since they have so many other styles. i have on a pair today that are leather with a slight motorcyle detail at the bottom and they are quite cute.

          • puff

            @SouthernGirl,

            on the ugg tip, i furthermore cannot abide it when girls rock those fugly mfs with a knee length denim skirt. the sh*t makes me mad as all hell.

            i also lived with this girl freshman who during the summer would rock her uggs with bootay shorts and a t-shirt, like only her ankles, feet and calves were cold in some 80 degree weather. i really should’ve smacked the b*tch, but i didn’t want to waste a good backhand on such hot-azz-mess-ness.

            • SouthernGirl

              @puff, lol. it’s the same up here. i don’t understand how you have on a sweatshirt, shorts and uggs in 20 degree weather. is there a 2520 ugg accessory memo going around from fox news that i don’t know about. cause i only see becky’s doing that sh1t. just walking around representing all 4 seasons at one time.

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @puff,

              thats like the time me and my girl was at cherry hill mall and saw this 2520 chick rockin a winter coat with mini skirt and flip flops.

              um, what!?!? are your body parts in different time zones right na?

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      @puff,

      There is NOOO excuse for ugly shoes, unless you just plain ol’ don’t have any income (in which case cute shoes should be the least of your concerns).

      TJ Maxx always has cute shoes for low prices AND they still have lay-a-way. I love “The Maxx”.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @PBG,

        there is an excuse….big stupid feet! even the cutest of shoes in my size look stupid and ugly when i put them on my big stupid feet. im just sayin.

        thats why i just rock my sneakers…and occasionally, my “no place like home” ruby slippers!

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @shatani,

          I have tiny feet (that match my tiny fists) and it’s not easy to find shoes that fit me that wouldn’t look equally as flattering on a 3rd grader. I’m always on the hunt.

          Your feet aren’t big and stupid. They are lovely and wonderful just like all the rest of you. Ok?

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @PBG,

            hahaha…my friend has some tiny little doll feet too!

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @PBG,

            awww, i just caught that last line….thanks PB!

        • http://www.kindredsmile.blogspot.com KindredSmile

          @shatani, I cannot co-sign this at all. There are some big-footed chicks in my family (sizes 10-11) and their shoe game is regal. H*ll, I wear a 9-9.5 and I never have a problem finding shoes.

          Besides, if you keep calling your feet stupid, they might turn on you one day, and who knows where that path leads?

          • miss t-lee

            I got a big foot as well, and I rock it.
            It takes a lot of time and effort to find cute shoes, mostly online, but it can be done.
            Hang in there Shatani!!! :)

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @miss t-lee,

              arrrgggh!!! (channeling charlie brown)

              i dont want to go the online route…i hate the idea that i will have to trudge down to the post office to send shoes back if they dont fit.

              my feet are ginormous and they are wide too…and theyre flat! but i’ll tell you this…they are pretty as hell! soft smoove and bunion/corn free, cuz i dont abuse them in high heels all the time. lol

              maybe when i become a real employed grown up type, i might be more inclined to take on that kind of task.

              • miss t-lee

                @shatani,
                I feel your pain. :)
                Sometimes you gotta grin and bare it.
                Plus zappos does free shipping to you and back.

          • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

            @KindredSmile,

            “…if you keep calling your feet stupid, they might turn on you one day, and who knows where that path leads?”

            Nowhere good, I can tell you that. Probably in a big azz circle. Or the ER from numerous falls over herself. All bad.

        • Intellectual Hedonist

          @shatani, I have the opposite problem, I have big feet. You wouldn’t know by seeing them because I wear cute shoes all the time and I know my limits. Some shoes just aint for me

        • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com mssula

          @shatani,

          One of my dearest friend is 6’1 with size 11 feet. Her shoe game is meaner than mean.

          You just have to be dedicated to the cause. And hunt.

          :)

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @mssula,

            now, that i am not. im neither dedicated nor monetarily equipped for a mean shoe game…

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

          @shatani,

          me n’ you goin shoe shoppin. you hear me?! i wear a 10 and my shoe game is TIGHT. you just gotta be a savvy shopper. I have on these CUTE Naughty Monkeys on today… and they are COMFY!

          http://www.naughty-monkey.com/

          • V Renee

            @blackberry molasses

            I went to website and like the shoes! Are you not able to order online?? How do I get to them?

            • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

              @V Renee,

              I love them. i generally keep my work outfits conservative but fly, but the shoes add that extra kick of interest. and I could run a marathon in these suckas!

              I got my current pair at DSW, but for consistent availability go to Zappos.com and search by brand name. they currently have 180 styles from naughty monkey alone.

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @blackberry molasses,

                dsw is so depressing for me. they dont EVER have anything my size…i gotta get my shoes at Avenue and Payless…and them payless jawns are NOT good for ya feets.

          • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

            @blackberry molasses,

            I got small feet but i STAN for Naughty Monkey shoes. They are flashy, and I am the Mayor of Flashville. Ask Kindred

            • Gem of the Ocean

              are they wearable while standing/walking for extended periods of time?? or are they best worn while seated??

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                @Gem of the Ocean,
                i have stood in these shoes at church, at a lounge, and waiting for the train. my feet don’t complain (and they can be some pansy-a$$ whining feet)

              • Gem of the Ocean

                holla!!! i’ma get on the good foot and cop a pair or 3. thanks!

              • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

                @Gem of the Ocean,

                Gem, I can run in my Naughty Monkey knee boots. They r hella comfy, whole being fabulous

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            @blackberry molasses, I love Naughty Monkey, however they do not make my size, they don’t make anything over a 10, and neither does Carlos Santana or Miss Sixty

            • miss t-lee

              @Intellectual Hedonist,
              Yeah…I can’t get with ‘em either…lol

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                @miss t-lee, so I shop at Nordstrom and have my bff’s husband who is a warehouse manager buy all my shoes 33% discount and I can order them from anywhere. Nothing is better than buying some bad a$$ shoes on sale and then further discounted

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @miss t-lee,

                see?!?! nothing over 10…and thats my problem with DSW as well…

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

                Okay… hard, but not impossible!

                SI SE PUEDE!

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          @shatani,

          Ur feet took personal offense to that comment and said to punish you, they will go fit themselves in some UGGs. If I were you, I’d take that back

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    I hate ill fitting clothes period but especially if you are a girl there is an unwritten fashion rule that states thou shalt not wear to tights.. if your shirt is tight pants should be loose and flowing, if your pants tight shirt should be loose.. 2 tights and it just aint right is my mantra let me also note that there is a difference between tight and to little.. tight a little bit of tug over the bum..to little you had to lie down and your gal had to use wire pliers to pull them up and the button is holding on for dear life and you cant eat anything for fear the button will pop off with such force it will take someones eye out…..

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @Shay-d-lady, Very well said on the 2 tights.. we need to put you on loud speaker.

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

      @Shay-d-lady,

      My name is BBMo and I approve this message