Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men

This is what male friends get their other friends into. It's how we show we care, ladies!

Perhaps understand is a strong word, but here we go now, holler if you here me though come and feel me flow.


I think it’s fairly safe to state that men and women will never truly understand one another. We can all agree on that right? Good. However, that won’t stop all of us from trying to gain some sort of competitive advantage in order to best navigate the murky waters of the heart. Obviously, women will spend beaucoup dinero trying to figure out men…or at least until they find a man and get married. I actually wonder if women care as much about this sh*t after they end up married. Luckily, something like 163 percent of Black women will never end up married – statistically speaking, that is. I may or may not have made that up.

And I don’t think men really care that much. But let’s assume that we all care and want to figure each other out from a sincere and earnest place. Now picture Earnest going to jail. Thank you.

Movies are a great source of nutrition and protein.And they’re also a great way to learn about men (or women). There are a few movies that I think do a good job of accurately showcasing the types of conversations we have and the way we really think about situations we find ourselves in. Such as?

Such as.

1. 40-Year Old Virgin

Are men’s methods largely misguided a lot? Absolutely. But do most of our misguidances come from a well intentioned place? Of course. Are our conversations ridiculous? Mmhmm. Do we tend to overfocus on the tang? Yep. But isn’t the pursuit of happiness in the Magna Carta? Maybe. Point is, this movie perfectly illustrates true friendship and wanting to see your boys happy. Which is largely how most men live our lives. We just want happiness. By the way, this (and every other conversation in this movie is as real as it gets ladies…yes, this really happens).

Cal: Here’s what you do. You tell her you’re a virgin. You test her with this sh8*t, okay? Here, tell me. Tell me. This is how it’s gonna go. Tell me.
Andy Stitzer: I’m a virgin.
Cal: Sweet! I like that because I know you don’t have… chlamydia. I *know* that. I mean, that sh*t is everywhere.

2. The Wood

The Wood is one of my favorite movies. I related so hard to this movie that every time it goes off I get sad that they didn’t keep going thru the rest of their lives. Here’s how men’s friends really do work. There’s always the one who thinks he’s the pimp. Always. Then you got the one who always plays the mediator and stays level-headed…or tries too. Then you definitely always have the loud mouthed funny one. If there are 3 or 76 dudes who call themselves friends, you’re going to get some iteration of all three over and over again. And yes, 90 percent of us bet on our virginity. I mean, wait, none of us ever did that. We’d never.

3. The Lion King

Most of our daddies are absentee like a motherf*cker. And we’re all running from something. It hurts. I mean, I know my daddy. So it doesn’t hurt me so much. But I can’t lie, I’d be mad as hell if his brother threw him off a ledge then came up in my house and ate my food and drank my wine. And Nala was kind of banging in a lion next door kind of way. I think that’s who Musiq was singing about in Just Friends, Buddy, Homey, Chickfriend, Can’t Marry You Cuz You My Friend But I’d Smang,  and Pal.

4. The Best Man

Really, the worst offense you can commit as a friend is to bang the homey’s girl. The Best Man got all the convos right. The hotel scene where they’re talkign about Harper’s women situation was so on point it was scary. Plus…getting damn near thrown off a roof is pretty much a rite of passage in the life of a man. It happened to me just twice this weekend. But back to banging the homey’s girl. Ladies if you ever over hear a convo between two dudes and one says, “yo, I wouldn’t even sleep with your girl man…” you know they are real friends. Just ask Nicky Barnes.

5. Taken

As I watched Taken for the first time, I found myself getting so emotionally invested. They took his kid. His daughter. You do NOT mess with a man’s family. This movie illustrates the mentality of man who’s got a singular purpose and is willing to die for it. For many men, our family becomes that. Extended family, cousins, and ninjas who only ask for money though don’t get that treatment. See also: Man On Fire. The lesson here? If you take white girls, you will get dealt with.

Alright, those are a few movies that help women see a man’s mentality and/or how we talk and operate fairly accurately. What are others though? Let’s help the ladies out.

And ladies…what are some movies men should watch if we want to understand women? And please refrain from mentioning The Notebook. We know…and we hate it.


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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • So…According to list, I’m about 80% closer to completely understanding men. Sweet.

  • I just wanna say that as painful processes that we womens go through for you mens, I am PRETTY sure virgin Andy getting his chest waxed was WAY more painful than ANY woman taking her kitty to Brazil. I mean, unless her kitty was more like a Yeti. Which, still, trimming is available.

    Where was I? Hell, where’s Waldo? I don’t know either.

    I think a good movie to understand women is Aladdin. Take Princess Jasmine… she’s like…a princess and is treated like one, but is independent like a mofo. Women, personified. :D

  • carolinagirl27

    I would say that “waiting to exhale” is a perfect woman’s movie. The good lord knows I just cut all my hair off after my break up and when my friends saw it they said ” oh so u pulled a waiting to exhale?”

    Daddy’s Little girls (I know it is VSB blasphemy to mention a Tyler Perry movie) but some of the conversations that the homegirls have about her dating Idris Elba and being below her and what not are conversations many a girlfriend and I have had.

    To be honest, I can’t think of any good movies like The Wood that relates to the female experience. I think it would blow men’s minds to find out the stuff that we really talk about when were all together. I think the closest thing my be sex and the city. There are always types like that in girl crews too. The smart one w/men issues that isn’t really perfect(Carrie), the freak(samantha), the goody two shoes w/a freaky side(Charlotte) and the not so cute one that you keep around b/c she is really fun, rich, well-connected, etc(Miranda).

  • Kid Sister

    I’ve seen all of these… and I still feel as if men are a mystery… or I’m just too lazy to worry about figuring them out… probably the latter.

  • Personally, I’m partial to “He’s Just Not That Into You.” When dude is trying to talk sense into the main character, there’s so much that she just doesn’t understand. All of her misconceptions are also being reinforced by other women in the movie. They’re all convinced that they have things “figured out” when in reality they’re clueless. Her only saving grace was that she consulted a dude who actually broke straight with her about what was going on in her life.

    Them falling in love though? That kind of ruined what otherwise would have been a great movie. Why must there always be a love story? smdh

  • Tx10inch

    4. The Best Man

    Really, the worst offense you can commit as a friend is to bang the homey’s girl. The Best Man got all the convos right. The hotel scene where they’re talkign about Harper’s women situation was so on point it was scary. Plus…getting damn near thrown off a roof is pretty much a rite of passage in the life of a man.

    Truth. Dirtbags gettin tossed off roofs should be decriminalized….


  • Loving Me

    Men aren’t all that mysterious to me… weird I know, but they just aren’t. Maybe cause I grew up with more guys then girls so my thinking is a little off. Idk, but I spend more time trying to understand women than I do trying to understand the workings of the male mind. But all of these movies (except Taken, I just couldn’t get into it) are some of my favorite movies

  • Iamnotakata

    Umm I sure don’t understand them, all though I have seen all the above mentioned movies several times it does not bring in site on men to me. But good movies none the less…

  • 40 year old virgin shows what happens when you use big words around Kevin Hart.

    watch ya mouth, and help him with the sale.

    *laughs inside*

  • Royale W. Cheese

    To understand normal everyday women, watch

    – Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl
    – 30 Rock

    I can’t think of any good honest depictions of normal women in big screen productions. Women tend to be exaggerated on the silver screen, and sadly, women eat that ish up like cheesecake and chocolate ice cream.

    Run far the h3ll away from Eat Love Pray.

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