This is what male friends get their other friends into. It's how we show we care, ladies!
Perhaps understand is a strong word, but here we go now, holler if you here me though come and feel me flow.
Ahem.
I think it’s fairly safe to state that men and women will never truly understand one another. We can all agree on that right? Good. However, that won’t stop all of us from trying to gain some sort of competitive advantage in order to best navigate the murky waters of the heart. Obviously, women will spend beaucoup dinero trying to figure out men…or at least until they find a man and get married. I actually wonder if women care as much about this sh*t after they end up married. Luckily, something like 163 percent of Black women will never end up married – statistically speaking, that is. I may or may not have made that up.
And I don’t think men really care that much. But let’s assume that we all care and want to figure each other out from a sincere and earnest place. Now picture Earnest going to jail. Thank you.
Movies are a great source of nutrition and protein.And they’re also a great way to learn about men (or women). There are a few movies that I think do a good job of accurately showcasing the types of conversations we have and the way we really think about situations we find ourselves in. Such as?
Such as.
1. 40-Year Old Virgin
Are men’s methods largely misguided a lot? Absolutely. But do most of our misguidances come from a well intentioned place? Of course. Are our conversations ridiculous? Mmhmm. Do we tend to overfocus on the tang? Yep. But isn’t the pursuit of happiness in the Magna Carta? Maybe. Point is, this movie perfectly illustrates true friendship and wanting to see your boys happy. Which is largely how most men live our lives. We just want happiness. By the way, this (and every other conversation in this movie is as real as it gets ladies…yes, this really happens).
Cal: Here’s what you do. You tell her you’re a virgin. You test her with this sh8*t, okay? Here, tell me. Tell me. This is how it’s gonna go. Tell me.
Andy Stitzer: I’m a virgin.
Cal: Sweet! I like that because I know you don’t have… chlamydia. I *know* that. I mean, that sh*t is everywhere.
2. The Wood
The Wood is one of my favorite movies. I related so hard to this movie that every time it goes off I get sad that they didn’t keep going thru the rest of their lives. Here’s how men’s friends really do work. There’s always the one who thinks he’s the pimp. Always. Then you got the one who always plays the mediator and stays level-headed…or tries too. Then you definitely always have the loud mouthed funny one. If there are 3 or 76 dudes who call themselves friends, you’re going to get some iteration of all three over and over again. And yes, 90 percent of us bet on our virginity. I mean, wait, none of us ever did that. We’d never.
3. The Lion King
Most of our daddies are absentee like a motherf*cker. And we’re all running from something. It hurts. I mean, I know my daddy. So it doesn’t hurt me so much. But I can’t lie, I’d be mad as hell if his brother threw him off a ledge then came up in my house and ate my food and drank my wine. And Nala was kind of banging in a lion next door kind of way. I think that’s who Musiq was singing about in Just Friends, Buddy, Homey, Chickfriend, Can’t Marry You Cuz You My Friend But I’d Smang, and Pal.
4. The Best Man
Really, the worst offense you can commit as a friend is to bang the homey’s girl. The Best Man got all the convos right. The hotel scene where they’re talkign about Harper’s women situation was so on point it was scary. Plus…getting damn near thrown off a roof is pretty much a rite of passage in the life of a man. It happened to me just twice this weekend. But back to banging the homey’s girl. Ladies if you ever over hear a convo between two dudes and one says, “yo, I wouldn’t even sleep with your girl man…” you know they are real friends. Just ask Nicky Barnes.
5. Taken
As I watched Taken for the first time, I found myself getting so emotionally invested. They took his kid. His daughter. You do NOT mess with a man’s family. This movie illustrates the mentality of man who’s got a singular purpose and is willing to die for it. For many men, our family becomes that. Extended family, cousins, and ninjas who only ask for money though don’t get that treatment. See also: Man On Fire. The lesson here? If you take white girls, you will get dealt with.
Alright, those are a few movies that help women see a man’s mentality and/or how we talk and operate fairly accurately. What are others though? Let’s help the ladies out.
And ladies…what are some movies men should watch if we want to understand women? And please refrain from mentioning The Notebook. We know…and we hate it.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka CINEMA JACKSON aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
So…According to list, I’m about 80% closer to completely understanding men. Sweet.
*edit*
this list
Damn typos…
I completely understand men then. *pats self on back*
+1
And as a result of all I know, I’m numb. I don’t think I can passionately feel any kind of way about all of the characterstically male whatever-isms.
yeah, I think it was Lion King that really made men make sense to me. It’s all about the circle of life. hakuna matata.
Me and you are >–< on this. I have seen all of the movies and I definitely can see why each of them may give insight into how men's minds work.
Oh…that and if I had a man who would do what Liam Nesson did in Taken for our kid o_0 I'd never be able to leave the house cuz I'd pay him for life in…well, you can figure the rest out
Nice to see you back TAC.
Aw shucks…*e-blush*
and in this world…80 percent is really all you can ask for.
Well, like you, I was very inspired by TAKEN. So much of the information was accurate, which is a trademark of Luc Besson, who also consulted on La Femme Nikita (the Peta Wilson version.) I saw it with friends, but the next week, I took my daughter to see it, and was very gratified when she muttered, “Stupid girl, why are you giving this dude that you’ve just met so much information?” My girl!
While I loved the story, and cried at its ending, I wanted one where the girl, somehow rescues herself. I did my research, visiting sites like CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT and COVENANT HOUSE, and found out that Sex Trafficking happens right here in America, in staggering numbers. That was enough to get me to write LONG PAST DEAD http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0048ELLFC with all the
proceeds going to ChildrenoftheNight.org and Covenant House.
I am very moved by the plight of children, the innocent and the vulnerable. Which is why all my books, like BLOODPACT http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004HO5TJM have a sort of take-no-prisoners, vengeance and vigilante-as-Divine-Justice theme…
Good article…
I just wanna say that as painful processes that we womens go through for you mens, I am PRETTY sure virgin Andy getting his chest waxed was WAY more painful than ANY woman taking her kitty to Brazil. I mean, unless her kitty was more like a Yeti. Which, still, trimming is available.
Where was I? Hell, where’s Waldo? I don’t know either.
I think a good movie to understand women is Aladdin. Take Princess Jasmine… she’s like…a princess and is treated like one, but is independent like a mofo. Women, personified.
“I just wanna say that as painful processes that we womens go through for you mens, I am PRETTY sure virgin Andy getting his chest waxed was WAY more painful than ANY woman taking her kitty to Brazil. I mean, unless her kitty was more like a Yeti. Which, still, trimming is available.”
Cheekie, just… just go, k? Leave my lifespace cause you’re too much like silly *lmao*.
Stay Cheekie STAY!!! LOL Men should (modestly) tend to that area as well.
ahhhh, no
I think a good movie to understand women is Aladdin. Take Princess Jasmine… she’s like…a princess and is treated like one, but is independent like a mofo. Women, personified.
Also, we always think we are going to find a diamond in the rough.
Men want to turn hos into housewives; women want to turn bums into ballers.
I guess we’re all kind of delusional. A good movie to understand people’s attitudes about relationships would be Alice in Wonderland
I guess we’re all kind of delusional. A good movie to understand people’s attitudes about relationships would be Alice in Wonderland
Or Inception. Men and women can project their expectations on potential partners and end up perceiving the projections more than accepting the people for who they really are.
Alice in Wonderland…LOL…really
Alice In Wonderland???
Really???
LOL
you know Aladdin makes perfect sense. come to think of it, i wonder if all disney movies weren’t created to subtley handle world issues.
for instance, princess and the frog proved that black women are either marrying racially ambiguous latino men or animals to be happy. that’s real talk.
Dude, you’re killin me! lmao! Between:
” But I can’t lie, I’d be mad as hell if his brother threw him off a ledge then came up in my house and ate my food and drank my wine. And Nala was kind of banging in a lion next door kind of way”
Lion next door, really? lmfao!
and
” for instance, princess and the frog proved that black women are either marrying racially ambiguous latino men or animals to be happy. that’s real talk.”
hahaha! That was my conclusion of that movie too lol
well just call me murder.
ja rule.
I would say that “waiting to exhale” is a perfect woman’s movie. The good lord knows I just cut all my hair off after my break up and when my friends saw it they said ” oh so u pulled a waiting to exhale?”
Daddy’s Little girls (I know it is VSB blasphemy to mention a Tyler Perry movie) but some of the conversations that the homegirls have about her dating Idris Elba and being below her and what not are conversations many a girlfriend and I have had.
To be honest, I can’t think of any good movies like The Wood that relates to the female experience. I think it would blow men’s minds to find out the stuff that we really talk about when were all together. I think the closest thing my be sex and the city. There are always types like that in girl crews too. The smart one w/men issues that isn’t really perfect(Carrie), the freak(samantha), the goody two shoes w/a freaky side(Charlotte) and the not so cute one that you keep around b/c she is really fun, rich, well-connected, etc(Miranda).
I’d choose Living Single over SATC.
Me too. I think I’m one of possibly 2% of women under 45 that could never get into or really enjoy SATC and I tried really hard.. I watched both movies several times trying to figure out why I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was watching crap (and spent most of that time wondering why SJP is so homely), I even got mad at a date for talking through it (he hated it) just because I felt like that was what I was supposed to do. And I’m not even gonna get started on the show. I would record it, watch half the episode and give up but would still record it, so I could follow along when my girlfriends talked about it smh. But Girlfriends and Living Single would both be somewhat accurate depictions of the female experience according to me and my female friends
Me too, SATC makes me want to poke my eyeballs out.
It makes me want to poke their eyeballs out. Except for Charlotte. Her I liked.
I liked Charlotte cuz she was very honest about what she wanted but still had fun WHILE maintaining herself as a lady.
She was definitely my fave.
The ONLY time I got into SATC was when Miranda called herself dating Blair Underwood’s character. After that, I wanted to poke my eyeballs out.
” I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was watching crap”
And you were. You couldn’t let that feeling go because you’re an intelligent individual. My kinda woman. Although I can’t lie. The pic of that Cam Newton looking gentlemen on your avi threw me off. I did a second take when I read the second sentence. I was like, “wait, you mean you’re 1 of 2% of men. lol
Before SATC was ever even thought about, young black women were identifying with the ladies of Living Single. Every crew had a Max, a Regine… you get the idea.
Honestly I think Carrie wasn’t that smart and she lacked ambition. The only thing she cared abt was her relationship to a no good man(Mr. Big) and shoes.
Same here. Carrie’s columns and revelations were pretty d@mn vapid, at least based on the 3 episodes I watched. I think the characters were too exaggerated for me to really connect with.
All this Sex and the city hate, I just can’t! Are you the same ones supporting that Single Ladies’ mess?! Shame.
If you date, you can’t tell me that something in it doesn’t relate personally. It’s genius. Carolinagirl has it right, the characters have balance
Nope, just couldn’t relate, and I do date. I haven’t seen Single Ladies and don’t think I want to.
I was actually going to put Daddy’s Little Girls for one particular scene. The scene where Idris little girls come to his home at like 3am b/c their mama’s man put his hands on one of his girls. That emotion he was showing about feeling helpless b/c he knew he wasnt there to stop somebody from hurting his kid. maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan…that resonated with me so tough. i cant imagine that sh*t and pray fo’ got and three white men that i never do or i can see msyelf doing real jail time.
Top three movies to understand women:
1) bridesmaids
2) Bridesmaids
and……you guessed it
3) BRIDESMAIDS
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was just about to say that movie lol
I’ve seen all of these… and I still feel as if men are a mystery… or I’m just too lazy to worry about figuring them out… probably the latter.
Perhaps you can’t quite accept what you are seeing as possibly being the deepest explanation for male behavior. Face it, sis, what you see is it. Amazing, I know.
Word, Royale with Cheese. That’s the side of perfect fries that you just served on men being what you see. No mystery.
Personally, I’m partial to “He’s Just Not That Into You.” When dude is trying to talk sense into the main character, there’s so much that she just doesn’t understand. All of her misconceptions are also being reinforced by other women in the movie. They’re all convinced that they have things “figured out” when in reality they’re clueless. Her only saving grace was that she consulted a dude who actually broke straight with her about what was going on in her life.
Them falling in love though? That kind of ruined what otherwise would have been a great movie. Why must there always be a love story? smdh
LOL, I caught a little bit of that this weeked. Ya, it does kinda call women out on the BS we tell each other- although, there was a moment that made me think of VSB.
In the beginning they parodied a women telling her friend “you’re too pretty and too nice and he can’t handle it.” The movie made this seem ridiculous, but I couldn’t help recall the VSBs saying they’ve stopped talking to women who were too perfect for them.
i think it was more like women that they weren’t ready for at the time.
Agreed! Even moreso because in the beginning they tie the fact that girls are raised to believe that when lil boys hit/tease them it is because they like them. Cut to 10 years later and he treats you like ish yet you think he “cares”. Womp!
i’m with you. i thought that was SO poignant. lol.
Yeah, Nessalew is on point. It’s not natural for a guy to treat a chick he respects and adores like a punching bag, but many guys feel like they need to learn how to reverse their natures and do the adult equivalent of hitting/teasing (unless you’re Chris Brown then you just exponentially increase the degree of hitting) in order to be seen sexually/romantically instead of platonically. Excellent points Nessa
Cut to 10 years later and that ninja is boxing…
Yes, given women who stay with abusive men under the belief “but he loves me, he wouldn’t do this if he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t act like this if he didn’t care so much…”
If I ever have a daughter, I’ll teach her that if a boy pulls her hair or hits her, to turn around and sock him hard in the face.
I’m with you on the end of “He’s Not That Into You” i thought that was a great great movie. except what you’re talking about. the fact that dude fell for her didnt seem realistic to me. but eh…small issue in an otherwise great movie.
Co-sign Advent. He kept it real with her, but him falling in love with her had me giving the side eye too. Although I can’t lie, the whole naive but well-intentioned happy-go-lucky chick does appeal to men. It made her attractive in a weird and embarrassing type of way. I believe Robert Greene said it appeals to men’s paternal instincts. Which leads me to my only serious point about this topic. Anybody claiming to want to understand the opposite sex (male or female) from a romantic perspective is just blowing hot air if they haven’t read “The Art of Seduction”. Classic. You won’t be able to put it down, and you will re-read certain sections multiple times…you’re welcome
“Them falling in love though? That kind of ruined what otherwise would have been a great movie. Why must there always be a love story? smdh”
YES! That put me in such a terrible mood! It went completely against the point of the book and turned it into a “well, maybe he is into you after all, and he just doesn’t know it.” ugghhhhh what crap!
4. The Best Man
Really, the worst offense you can commit as a friend is to bang the homey’s girl. The Best Man got all the convos right. The hotel scene where they’re talkign about Harper’s women situation was so on point it was scary. Plus…getting damn near thrown off a roof is pretty much a rite of passage in the life of a man.
Truth. Dirtbags gettin tossed off roofs should be decriminalized….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8S97VSvbBw&feature=related
that scene was so real. they acted the hell out of that joint. down to A Pimp Named Slickback talking Mo’s character out of doing something he’d regret.
Men aren’t all that mysterious to me… weird I know, but they just aren’t. Maybe cause I grew up with more guys then girls so my thinking is a little off. Idk, but I spend more time trying to understand women than I do trying to understand the workings of the male mind. But all of these movies (except Taken, I just couldn’t get into it) are some of my favorite movies
I don’t even try to understand women anymore really. It hurts my brain and sometimes even my soul.
So it’s not just me then?
I sorta feel like I should understand them for the sake of my boys when they get old enough to date and actually ask me for advice but otherwise…meh.
I’m dreading the day when my son starts dating even more than I am with my girls just for the simple fact that I already know I’m gonna find something wrong with any woman he brings home smh
I already think too many girls I’ve seen that are my fourth grader’s age are fast so he’s gonna hate me in a few short years.
women are complicated is good advice for boys
“Fear” applies to pretty much all of the female behavior my dad (divorced and dating) complains to me about regarding relationships gone bad. One emotion, tons of manifestations.
I don’t understand women who say they want one thing but do EVERYTHING they can to ensure that they will never get it…and then get mad when you call them on it and suggest they change that.
Cuz it can NEVER be a woman’s fault as to why she’s on the merry-go-round of love and losing every bit of the way *sarcam*
I love women (I am one after all) but sometimes the logic can have me shaking my head as well.
+1 except I understand them to be deeply insecure and feel unworthy of what they want so they sabotage it and choose all kinds of wrong just so they have an excuse to tell their girlfriends why men aren’t shit and that he’s lost a good woman like herself.
Loving Me is creeping into my top 3 favorite female commenters list. Especially since I thought Taken was ridiculous. Besides the fact that the plot itself was unrealistic, the acting wasn’t even believable, but yeah the rest of the movies he mentioned I liked. And @TAC- Imagine how we (men) feel. Unless you’re homosexual you don’t have to worry about women from a sexual/romantic perspective. Ironically we get the best results when we stop givin a sh*t and just have selfish fun while doing nice things occasionally (they overhype these deeds when they aren’t the norm for some reason) smh @ that species. Still couldn’t live without their crazy *sses though
I don’t think they’re _that_ hard to understand. I think after a year or two of dating, it should be pretty easy… but we’ll see, lol.
This will depend on how the boys evolve and the girls they chose to date evolve. If we all stayed in our lanes and didn’t evolve this dating / marriage stuff would be easy.
meh. I run into men my age who act just like my fathers did at that age and do now. Real evolution doesn’t happen that fast. I think we make it more complicated than it is…
meh. It’s how will the young man handle / react when his current girl / next girl throws him the curve ball with her behavior. morals, beliefs, etc. Guys your age (and my age for that matter) have seen some things and know these experiences will help shape the type of man he will become a.k.a baggage to carry into the next relationship.
you know…i think that the ability to understand one another largely depends on how much personal BS you have going on. and what baggage one brings to the table.
if your baggage is light…i think folks are more open to listening and understanding. if the baggage would cost you 100 bucks at Delta to check…then i think understanding goes out the window. understanding the other person isn’t important…being understood is all that matters, much to the detriment of the relationship.
Exactly!
Umm I sure don’t understand them, all though I have seen all the above mentioned movies several times it does not bring in site on men to me. But good movies none the less…
40 year old virgin shows what happens when you use big words around Kevin Hart.
watch ya mouth, and help him with the sale.
*laughs inside*
I DIE laughing at this scene every. single. time.
“I don’t know what that means, so I’ma take it as disrespect.”
“That’s ya man? Yeah! Yeah, we rep the same Smart Tech.”
*silent laugh at my desk*
don’t be a n*gga, be my n*gga.
“you ever heard of rolling 20s? since i was 16 n*gga. know what i’m saying? frosty. spoon. we f*ck dwarves in the a$$.”
LMAO!! That burst of laughter right there is the one that lets them know that I am NOT getting any work done right now. I’ma holla at ya’ll later.
*Kevin Hart gun cocking hand motion*
todays forecast….dark and cloudy…high chance of driveby.
To understand normal everyday women, watch
- Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl
- 30 Rock
I can’t think of any good honest depictions of normal women in big screen productions. Women tend to be exaggerated on the silver screen, and sadly, women eat that ish up like cheesecake and chocolate ice cream.
Run far the h3ll away from Eat Love Pray.
Eat Love Pray? Heard that flick was watchable….is it really that bad?
Eat, Pray Love in a nutshell: being a wealthy white woman in America is difficult, which is why she had to sightseeing poor, 3rd world, brown skinned people to reclaim her self esteem
Eat Pray Love. lol. My bad. D@mn movie induces dyslexia.
Oh, and don’t forget that a perfect marriage to the perfect man came too easily to her, so she had to deal with the crisis of not knowing whether she should be happy about it.
My girlfriends and I were just talking about this movie. While black women aren’t flying to Asia in droves to “find themselves” the whole “having it all and it’s still not good enough” stigma runs deep with some sistas… especially the ones with the means to leave said relationship. I hear so often about women who once had their perfect / dream guy but because he wanted “so much” from the relationship, (i.e. kids, commitment, just her friggin’ time) they left because they weren’t happy. Five years later it’s “I should of stayed with ____.”
Sadly, similar situation men don’t leave. They mess around, have outside kids, wake up old one day and run back to ol’ girl that was devoted to them.
Or they end up alone. Nothing sadder than a dude who is old and alone because he didn’t do right by the wife, the children, side kids or even the mistress.
Haha… interestingly enough, my ex sent me an email one day telling me he needed someone to talk to. After all the shyt he’s done and NOW he wants someone to talk to? I wrote him back and said “go talk to your hoe whose picture you sent me.” What an idiot. Ain’t no crossing those bridges that are burnt, demolished, and washed away. Done.
I thought about ABG too except it’s not a movie. I just watched the last few episodes and it is the closest thing to black woman reality I’ve seen in a while and it made me LOL, loud.
it made me LOL too. very well done series.
Eat. Love. Pray.
One of the most self-indulgent pieces of crap I’ve ever attempted to read. 30 pages into the book and I just couldn’t take it anymore. yuck.
I corrected my own post haha see below!
Eat. Pray. Love. *shutters*
One of the most self-indulgent pieces of crap I’ve ever attempted to read. 30 pages into the book and I just couldn’t take it anymore. yuck.
I would add I Love You, Man to point out how hard it is for men to gain new friends unless you’re part of some club/fraternity/team/etc. basically any situation where you’re forced to be around men for an extended amount of time that isn’t at work.
“how hard it is for men to gain new friends unless you’re part of some club/fraternity/team/etc. basically any situation where you’re forced to be around men for an extended amount of time that isn’t at work.”
This can be applied to women as well.
Agreed, and the snippet I saw of “I Love You, Man” was pretty funny.
+2
I loved “I Love You, Man”
i’ve never seen that. heard it was dope.
you know…i dont think women realize how hard it is for men to make new friends. women can bond over shoes and sh*t and asking to exchange info is easy as a woman. you cant just ask another dude for his number so y’all can hang out. LOL. y’all better run into eachother at the basketball court…on accident. multiple times.
I don’t disagree with most of what you post PJ, but it is way harder than it looks for women to make friends… especially black ones. Yeah, we can bond over a pair of stilettos for a moment while out shopping, but that’s hardly a reason to give out or ask for contact info. I’ve gotten the o.O stare from women I’ve spent the last hour cutting it up with at a party / gathering when I’ve suggested we exchange info. I have however, made friends with non-sistas that way.
i’m not saying its easy for you all. but i do think given black men’s specific predilection towards not looking gay and letting our pride get in the way, we’re more loathe to make the necessary advances to get somebody’s number. there’s just no cool way to ask a dude for his number for non-business purposes. sure, you got rejected but you at least htough asking made sense.
and im not saying its impossible. obviously it is possible for both to happen. but like you Yonnie said…them ninjas had to keep seeing eachother at the gym and strike up a convo.
plus…the gym is a vulnerable spot for a man. i’m not sure why. i think its the lycra that a lot of men in the gym wear.
This is so funny b/c I always think the EXACT opposite. I know so many men who are like, “Yeah, we met at the gym,” (they’re straight men, I promise). “We’re always there at the same time and we just got to talking… then we went to watch the game together…” Yeah, definitely easier for men. Women can strike up a convo over shoes, hair, etc. But getting her number, calling, and extending an invite is awkward as hell.
NO. Just, no.
It is hard as hell.
What you’re saying P, may explain why men will hold onto their friends for yearsss. Because its hard for them to make new ones.
To a slight extent, “Two Can Play That Game” exhibited some of the behind-the-scenes posturing in figuring out women and relationships, whether words and actions are literal or if they have subliminal meaning. And I think we’ve had all had or encountered an Anthony Anderson type podnah that was a self-proclaimed womanologist with questionable credentials.
…sounds like my ex….
Or Steve Harvey…
i do think that was accurate in terms of how ridiculous we all get with the game playing. which is also why the best way to handle drama is dolo. friends can be the worst types of hypemen.
See, I really don’t feel like I’ve seen a movie that accurately depicts women; women like me and my friends anyway. They are make us seem like whiny, petulant, co-dependent man-obsessed, or frigid, career- and control driven chicks. Where is the story for the “normal” chick? I assume the argument is being made that she doesn’t exist, but some women really are just chillin’.
So basically, you’ll never understand men if all you watch are Tyler Perry movies and Blackbuster Films? *deletes Madea Gets Signed To Young Money from Netflix queue*
I cackled so loudly @ this *lol*.
of course you can understand men from tyler perry movies. In fact, your prince in shining light skin is probably on his way right now
With or without the cornrowed wig?
The wig was ALL kinds of wrong. They could’ve let Shemar be Shemar.
I just woke up my daughter laughing at this lol
LOL!
i actually think you can learn everything you need to know about men from TP movies. we are all perfect until our women bring us down. we’re all trying to do right and being bastions of light, justice, and peace. but y’all trollops wont let us be great.
yep. i think thats it.
I think TP’s favorite song is E-40′s “captain save-a-hoe”
“we are all perfect until our women bring us down.”
Funny, ’cause that’s the way I feel about men. By myself can move mountains, fly over tall buildings, and create world peace. But when I’m in a relationship, somehow a dude gets his grip on me, brands me, puts an ankle cuff on me with a 3 foot thick arse chain and a 25lb ball! What is it with you men that want to keep a good woman from being great?!
So, if it’s captain save-a-hoe what’s the flip term? Pu$$y pirate?
Now thats funny!!!
I never thought that one could watch certain films to help them understand men & women. Here I am going about it all wrong observing people in everyday situations when all I have to do is watch “The Wood” on a daily basis to “get” guys. Damn, so many years wasted…
*smirk*
that’s what im saying. y’all bojanglin.
Hey…you just listed my five favorite movies.
Yes women should see those to understand men.
Now someone mentioned Waiting to Exhale…with that movie you need to read the book, as well as the sequel to understand why us women are emotionally invested with love.
book. what’s a book?
Bridesmaids!
Men should watch:
*Sex and the City- the series, NOT the movies (big diff)
There is a character that each woman can identify herself with bc their dating styles are so different. And virtually every female driven series has bitten off their style.
*Something’s Gotta Give
The unattainable bachelor whose the perfect fit and believes that he can waltz in and out of her life bc his thang is just THAT magical. Alls well that ends well, but it’s cute.
I loved Something’s Gotta Give.
Me too!!! I loved her neurosis.
As a Black guy, I found that movie, Something’s Gotta Give, amazing. A lot thanks goes to the great acting too.
If you take white girls, you will get dealt with.
Correctamundo! Unfortunately, similar race and gender biases apply to mainstream media reporting of missing persons.
To understand this woman you must see WAITING TO EXHALE, LOVE JONES, BEAUTY & THE BEAST(disney), TITANIC(still makes me cry), PEARL HARBOR, THE NOTEBOOK(GET OVER IT, lol).
Men are not hard to comprehend. I’ve seen every movie in this list except THE WOOD. That movie has never held my interest.
Hol’ up patna! Can’t NO BODY try to trick me into actually believing that you can learn anything [good] about us women from Titanic.The only thing it teaches men is that you can’t trust ho3s. Really tho, there was AMPLE room on that piece of the ship and she let him die!!! He done spent half the movie risking his life for her on a sinking ship and her ungreatful arse didn’t movie over. I hate you Rose! Fcuk yo couch!
lmaooo!!! true, but i still love the movie.
Best part of the movie is when the unintended symbolism outshines the intended symbolism
Rose: I won’t let go Jack
*Rose peels Jack’s frozen hand off of hers and let’s go*
LOL priceless
LMAO!!! I swear you made my day with that. Once again leading me to believe that the main point of the film is you can’t trust these ho3s for nothing..
No to every movie you suggested except Love Jones. I saw that movie at 15 and didn’t “get it” until I was like 26. Young, immature love is like that to an extent. Trying to figure yourself out, trying to find who’s better, trying to “date like a man”, all of that.
At least that was close to my earlier experiences (minus dating the friend to make someone jealous…that’s just reckless, lol)
Were I to be Leo C in Titanic, I would fa sho cancel that chick and find my ass on a life boat. To hell with freezing in the water over some buns. Sorry.
Leo D… that is…
Leaves rustling in the wind of the flapping wings.
I loved the wood too
Y’know, I will vote for “Friday Night Lights” and “Remember the Titans” (yes, a football flick) to understand women. And YES, there are some of us ladies that love the gridiron! I’m just saying….most of us ladies have a team of folks that we keep around, and I’m sure you’ve listed quite a few positions: the peacemaker (who is probably high as a kite as we read), the strong silent type that seems to cause the most problems when a fight rises, the trash-talker that has no game whatsoever, the little sister, etc…..
Frankly, I just love seein’ Petey get disciplined by Coach Boone and watching the Titan shuffle….”Everywhere we gooo-ooooh…..people wanna know-oooh….”
Friday Night Lights is the most honest depiction of a healthy marriage I have ever personally witnessed on TV. I tell my teenage son to look for a relationship like the Taylor’s! Not to mention WWCTD (What Would Coach Taylor Do) is good short hand for football related drama in his life.
To sum it up. Men are looking for Nala. These movies are how we get there. End of story.
One thing that will forever baffle me about The Best Man – who leaves a party full of strippers to read a book? Do men really do this? Is this why I don’t understand men?
Dude was also super religious in that movie. No telling what that praying crowd is liable to do under pressure.
who leaves a party full of strippers to read a book?
Morris only read the book, he saw that Taye was trying to hide it from him…it’s called a plot point.
The only thing that could tear you away from a room full of naked women you don’t know…
…is the thought that someone is violating the woman you claim as your own and do now. In that respect, it was reaonably accurate.
Given how “protective” Harper seemed to be the whole time they were around and the fact that he obviously took the book from the room, Lance knew something had to be afoot. Plus, if you remember, he was more of a cerebral individual anyway. He wasn’t just some dumb jock. Brotha knew something was up.
^^^THIS
Beaches, The Break Up (“I want you to want to do the dishes!” “Why would I want to do the dishes” *classic), Waiting to Exhale, and Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood. To see these movies is to know my life.
There is something special about each of these movies and how they give me life.
Beaches, there is nothing like a life long homegirl who you’ve literally seen at her best and at her worst and no matter what happens or where life takes you, you know she’s gonna be there for you.
The Break Up, I actually saw this with a guy I was dating and he had to say “I get it now” yeah, negro, you ain’t sh*t, lol, it opened up the opportunity for good dialogue, though.
Waiting to Exhahe…I mean, who hasn’t felt like burning his sh*t…yeah, me neither, lol
Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood is probably moreso relevant to mother-daughter relationships but let’s not pretend those joints aren’t important. That movie helped me understand that my mama hasn’t always been mama. She had her own pains, too. Gave me a new respect.
So that’s it, know my life, know these movies. Make it a Blockbuster night.
yeeees! The Break Up was a great movie, that’s my only Jennifer Aniston movie that i loved her in. most of her movies are hit or miss.
i saw that movie with my current BF & he still doesnt get it. smh
The Break Up is one of my fav movies. twas so real it was scary. lol. and i love vince vaughn.
“baby wanted 12 lemons…baby wanted 12.” LMAO
That movie was DEF on point about how two people can love each other but be dumb with showing it until it deteriorates into nothing.
Loved the ending though. Possibility??? Loved how they left it hanging like that.
Me too! The ending was great. Made you wonder…
The Breakup was mostly ol girl fault. Lesson: if you got issues open your damn mouth. AND stop listening to your friends. I don’t know them but I can almost guarantee they’re dumb.
Nope…both their fault. He was selfish, she was selfish…he took her for granted, instead of her saying that’s how she felt, she did dumb stuff. They were both stubborn as hell and prideful and the result of that was the basis of the movie.
They were mirror images of each other and neither of them got it until it was damn near too late. Happens all the time.
As far as mother-daughter relationships, I actually LOVED “The Joy Luck Club.” Sort of reminded me of some of the things my mom and I argue about, like boyfriends and how to obtain self-esteem.
Other movies I’d recommend:
- “Anchorman” (you must know that I love comedies)
- “The Incredibles”
The Joy Luck Club is the TRUTH! This is a movie to watch with some other cerebral chicks and some ice cream…
Cosign. That dishes line is definitely classic, you can take out dishes and add any number of things!
Agreed. The Break Up was a great relationships movie.
*Cosign* The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood
It’s a strange dance between mother and daughter. The music isn’t always as mellow as it is between mother/son and daddy/daughter. More times than not we’re carrying the emotional burden of our mother’s pasts (and sometimes their presents).
I totally agree with you. If you are experiencing a rocky relationship with your mother, remember she’s a woman first, then your mama.
Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood is one of my all time favorite movies. Black people always give me the side eye whenever I say that. I LOVE those old ladies!
I only saw the breakup b/c my bf at the time suggested I see it. the dialogue that followed probably wasn’t what he thought it was going to be b/c that movie had me dying the whole time!!! I rewatch the dinner scene like a million times! *laughs to myself* hilarity!!!
See, about the whole dishes thing… I’m not 100% with either of them. I mean, homeboy does have a point. Nobody likes to do the dishes. But that’s not the point. It’s not about the wanting (and it’s stupid of homegirl to want him to want to). It’s about the doing because it has to get done, regardless of whether you want to or not.
THAT’S the part I think people don’t see eye-to-eye on.
I can only rock with the break up because it wasn’t a typical Hollywood flick where they get back together at the end and all is well. That was real.
The whole trying to drown your sorrows surrounded by scantily clad ladies is pretty real too. First thing a guy tries to do when attempting to redeem his manhood/confidence/mojo/swag is immediately entertain another woman or women who will make him feel like he wasn’t inadequate in some way or that she was wrong for leaving.
Baby Boy… *covers for thrown tomatoes*… for the simple fact that of Yvettes struggle…like he ain’t about nothing ain’t doing nothing but you still want him, he is doing all kinds of trife ish but you still want him & when she broke down in the car & said “he don’t love me no more”…ive been to that place…it aint pretty ..i cant be the only one who has been in this type of dysfunction lol but if i am so be it lol but yeah Baby Boy & even though the ending doesnt happen in real life i would say overall how Yvette felt. ok this is too long sorry the end
I’m sure women have had the “Yvette Break Down” but they aren’t always preceded by a hood rat ninja doing hood rat things with his friends.
Still I can understand how you (and others) might be able to relate to that scene. In a way it kind of speaks to the common thread of humanity. It doesn’t matter if your socio-economic status… pain is pain, and coming to the realization that the person you love doesn’t love you anymore knows no boundaries.
My last relationship was like this and I promise I’m actually book smart and have common sense.
*dyckmatized* LOL
I really did feel bad for her in that scene. But the nerve of an un-qualifed negro to be soooo.. ughhh. His character infuriated me to no end!
Women also need to watch High Fidelity.
It’s gospel with John Cusack.
I’d also recommend The Hangover (necessary because men will go to great lengths to save their friends), Almost Famous (necessary because all men at some point still want to go on an adventure like this), Lackawanna Blues (necessary for just one line spoken by S Epatha Merkerson), and White Rice (necessary because we all a little strange and crazy and yet still desperately ignorant of it).
That said, you could probably just watch The Goonies and still get the same lesson(s).
i actually saw High Fidelity, it’s a great movie.
Loved High Fidelity too.
I fell asleep on two of those and haven’t seen one so I guess I’m waaay behind.
I found out everything I needed to learn about women from A Gang of Roses.
R O T F L
Whereas I learned all I needed to learn about women from “The Playas Club”
“Make the money, don’t let it make you”
MESSAGE!!!
LMAO.
A Gang of Roses taught me a lot about what happens when women don’t get hugs from their daddies.
I hug my daughter multiple times every day and will even when she hates it.
I’m going old school with Kramer vs. Kramer. REAL men will go through some things to keep their kids. The movie also shows how the deck is stacked against. Men in the legal system.
Yes to Framer vs. Kramer.
Hey all – I’ve popped back in for my once in a blue moon post again! Damn work filters.
I just wanted to cosign about 40 Year Old Virgin – having hung out with guys a lot, the conversations that they have are pretty genuine when you compare it to what guys just say when they have no worries that their girls will hear them (I would like to hope that none of them is a cheating fool like the guy who played Conrad in Weeds, but i digress)
Also – Lion King is the best movie EVER. Yeah, I said it. EVER. I dragged my boo’s behind to go see it in 3-D w/ me, too (he secretly loved it, too – but he’ll never admit it)
wait…your boo JUST saw it for the first time???? is that possible????
haha no it wasnt his first time – but he just isnt as big a fan of it as I am. It took a lot of nagging, and, ahem, “convincing” to get him to go.
But when I first told him I wanted to see it, his response was, “when are you going to realize that you and Nala are not the same person?” smh. he just doesnt understand.
Took my nearly 3 y/o godson to see The Lion King in 3D yesterday. He wasn’t paying attention to the movie, wouldn’t keep his glasses on, etc. Ya’ll don’t know how upset I was on the inside, lol. Like, “YO CHILL!!! MUFASA JUST DIED!!!” Dah well… I guess he wasn’t old enough. I’ma get it on DVD tho. He WILL love this movie!!
“YO CHILL!!! MUFASA JUST DIED!!!”
lol.
my son doesn’t dig the 3D glasses either and he is 8 now. Infuriating to say the least.
Disappearing Acts covers everything you need to know about understanding what goes on in a womans head and her circle of friends
Hmm I haven’t seen that in sooo long… I’ma have to get that next!
Yes, but in predictable reading ninja fashion, I have to say that the book > the movie. The book made you more sympathetic to Franklin’s plight & understanding of why Zora loved him whereas in the movie, his triflingness vastly outweighed his redeeming qualities.
He was the absolute worst in the movie. Very bad adaptation of his character from the book.
lol, so because the book made him look more trifling whereas the movie made you more aware and empathetic to his plight that makes the book better? Smh. Damn women…lol
No, you misunderstood. The book was more in-depth of his plight and showed some of the reasons behind is actions (some of which were definitely trife). Meanwhile the movie version just showed him mainly as a trife negro. No insight, no backstory, just trife with excuses littered in to “explain” why he was so trife.
Nah, it was the other way around. The movie made him more trifling than the book. What Mo said. It was a story about the trials and tribulations of love. In the book, you could see why she fell in love with him and tried to work things out. In the movie you were like, “THIS triflin’ negro? Oh hayle nawl!!”
LOL at this post.
i was amazed that The Lion King made 22 million on it’s second-first weekend. crazy!
you’ve named some of my favorite movies, but i don’t think men are all that complicated at all. i think women are. which is why it’s so hard for a movie to accurately capture us in two hours. lol.
i agree. but i think women want us to be complicated b/c y’all make no sense. if we’re complicated then you aint at fault. lol.
LOL absolutely true. can’t even argue.
Speaking of “The Best Man”…was I the only one who turned up her nose when Harper proposes to his girl at the reception? Like, for real? Just hours after you were gonna bang your homegirl from college? Let alone stealing the spotlight from your homeboy on his wedding day? That’s that bullsh*t.
The Best Man is one of my favorite older movies. And yeah, I’m irritated with that moment, not only because of what you said, but I think it’s kind of tacky to do that at someone else’s wedding… it’s like come on, give them their one friggin day! lol
Yes, very tacky! I’d be mad as all get out if a couple got engaged on MY D*MN DAY!
Naw it wasn’t just you. That ending was probably some movie exec coming in trying to “tie a bow” on the movie and make it a nice neat unnecessarily happy ending. In real life, actions have consequences.
That’s not to say Harper wouldn’t still propose and get married to ol’ girl… just not right then.
Then again, some women want to be married so bad… *whistles innocently and leaes thread*
Wedding Crashers is a classic and the show Entourage is REALLY accurate after you adjust for some cultural differences.
i agree with that.
Co-sign Entourage. Except most of us don’t have movie star friends lol
Hmmm…
Hustle & Flow- You can never come between a ninja and his dream regardless how ridiculous it is
Stand up comedy- Comedians be hitting the nail on the head sometimes
“Stand up comedy”- I was thinking the same thing. Between Chris Rock and Dave Chapelle you shouldn’t have any problems, LOL
“And ladies…what are some movies men should watch if we want to understand women?”
1. Girls Gone Wild1. Good Hair
2. Kill Bill
3. Where the Heart Is
I can’t think of a damn thing else.
My ex didn’t know why my hair grew in an afro (foreign ninja). One weekend he watched Good Hair and *it* clicked, lol. He was asking me if my hair was natural and “is that a weave?” out loud on the dang city bus. After that, he couldn’t stop touching my hair whenever we met up.
Thank you Chris Rock
You know what I just realized? I’ve always wanted to touch black women’s hair, but I’ve never really had an urge to touch or feel white women’s hair…
…I wonder if that means anything.
Maybe because you can’t really tell how a black woman’s hair will feel by looking at it? Does that even make sense… We have so many hairstyles that just make u wonder what the hell is going on, lol. Good and bad
Perhaps you just want to touch black women more than other women.
I feel similarly.
Oh yeah I hadn’t thought about it, but yeah Good Hair does share a thing or two even though I didn’t care for the film much…
#3 is also cool for its “real woman” vibe… I think that character was really well written and acted… but… I don’t know how much I personally actually relate to her…
Ya, it really wasn’t about women IMO but it kinda showed the hopeful, naive side of women and how we get caught up with the wrong types of men and so easily overlook good ones.
I really, really, really thought that “Good Hair” was the truth though. It helped me appreciate the struggles that natural women go through, and gives me at least 30 minutes of additional patience when waiting to hit the streets. Sitting on that sofa while y’all are “almost ready” can be rough at times.
The down side is that now I view permed sisters like brother Baines viewed Malcolm in his pre-Hajj days. I can’t be the only one that feels this way.
Kill Bill? I dunno. Not many women have gone through ish terrible enough to be as pissed as Uma/ Black Mamba. Well, some women get that pissed, but often that level of pissitude isn’t warranted.
Cosign on SATC (the series)..these chicks were not perfect, they made mistakes when it came to their life…work, love, family. I found all four women very relatable in different aspects. My friends have named me the “Charlotte” of the group. Lol Going along with that theme…I say Girlfriends and Living Single too. To me, the women in these shows were relatable if you’ve watched it as much as I do. (I own all 6 seasons of SATC, all but the last season of Girlfriends, and the first season of LS on dvd). You see their strong points and their weak ones too.
Woo! Mama se mama se mama coo sa !
Lol
Add in The Godfather
Warrior. This movie showed what a man will do to save his family and his little brother. The little brother showed what he would do in order to help a dead friend’s family. The wife showed how far women will go to support their husbands even when at first we don’t agree but we understand that the husband is doing it so that the family can survive. The father showed what happens when you screw up royally and have to fight your way back into your children’s lives.
Well, it looks like I watched the right movies to understand men.
All those are my favorite…lol
How about Heat? As much as I want to be married with a family, I think it’s cool to be able to just up and bounce in 30 minutes like De Niro’s character.
Good post…unfortunately I can’t think of anything to contribute at the moment.
I’m thinking of my fav movies….
The Last Samurai
Troy
500 Days of Summer
And I don’t think they really help men understand women. Maybe 500 Days…
You know, everybody tells me to watch 500 days of summer. and i just cant get into it. everybody who knows me tells me that i’d lke it but i’ve tried to watch it like 5 times and have yet to get very far into it.
It’s a terrible wretched movie.
I liked it. But I saw Garden State around the same time. Similar movie and I liked it much better.
I liked Garden State. Still haven’t seen 500 Days though.
is franz fanon bad???
I enjoy many portions of his work. There is too much hindsight for me to rate it objectively.
@Malik….I swear you are the anti-LaLa
I am emphatically Pro-LaLa.
I disagree with Malik. 500 Days of Summer was great. Very realistic, so that’s why I didn’t find it wretched.
I think John Q is comparable to Taken, but of course with much less action.
I feel like I learned something about men from Long Shots- a regular neighborhood guy trying to be a good person.
The Best Man actually shows some accurate depictions of women too, I think.
Good movies to understand me would probably include Soul Food and Nine Songs.
Honorable mentions since they’re not a movie: Gilmore Girls for it’s neurotic quirkiness and Ugly Betty for America’s Ferrera’s role. Actually I think that show has me dead on now that I think about it.
im with you on John Q.
Loved John Q. That was a hell of story, but I didn’t like the wife putting all the responsibility on him to do something. Hey, I would’ve been right there by his side slinging a .45 to get my child what he needed. No lie. I go into battle with my man (when he’s morally right in what he’s doing).
Is Taken anything like Commando? I haven’t seen Taken.
don’t know if this has been mentioned in the comments but anchor-motherfu**in-man. this movie is hilarious. if a woman could go quote for quote with me she is already winning in my book. you don’t even have to love the movie. just appreciate my love for it. a woman told me once that she hated the movie and couldn’t understand why anyone would like it. i told her to go back to her home on whore island.
i would also like to add se7en. for the same reasons you listed under taken. dude cut off the man’s wife’s head and put it in a box. not to mention she was pregnant and he didn’t know. yeah i would have put multiple slugs into him too.
I have to say, Anchorman is funny… though I’m definitely hoping y’all aint quite _that_ bad! lol
we are. sorry to break the news to you.
*exhales, drops head, and wanders back to ignorance*
“Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight…”
“no, she gets a special cologne… it’s called sex panther by odeon. it’s illegal in nine countries… yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.”
Ok, so all I have to do is rewatch these movies and I’ll have everything I need in my arsenal to understand the male species. That could go far in my plot to rule the world. Cool!
yep. and you’re welcome.
And how come no one has mentioned Scarface? Tony Montana is every American man’s id come to life. I’m not a dope man, but I would LOVE to be him.
that was/is scary
i will never, ever be into a mob guy… that’s where my gangsta officially ends lmao
Movies to help women understand men:
1. Just A Man: A black man in the 60′s who justs wants equal footing in the world. Nothing more, nothing more.
2. High Noon: When it comes to facing our biggest challenges men go through a vast range of emotions but sometimes you have to move forward with or without your friends.
3. Do the Right Thing<—-The title says it all.
4. Spider-Man 2: Sometimes you cannot turn your back on what you are. Whether you want to be that or not.
5. Up: The first montage breaks down the "guy meets girl" thing down better than most love stories ever… and this was just a cartoon.
Man. #5 Can I tell you how messed up I was on that dayum entry?!? I was _not_ prepared for that whole infertility entry. That shoulda came with a warning! And yet, it was so, so perfect I couldn’t stop watching, even though I was a mess.
I know people love The Lion King, but I think Up is like the best cartoon movie ever.
I LOVE “Up” lol
and it shows love from the man’s perspective. Love it!
Just A Man was surprisingly good. I watched it with low expectations, but it turned out to be a good movie – not too hokey or campy, characters weren’t too exaggerated… good movie.
I first caught it on TV One one day about mid way through. I added it on NetFlix and I liked the film and the message. It’s ashame Carter from Hogan’s Heroes didn’t get more roles. He was a decent actor. I know he did a lot of behind the scenes work too.
The film put out a bold message for the time.
Cosign on the #5. My heart went out to dude when the woman that was his world was no longer at his side.
Up makes me cry every time they show her in the office crying about not being able to have kids. It’s a cartoon but I was in the theater trying not to do the ugly cry. I cannot watch that movie in public, ha!
Omgeeeee!!! I balled like a baby when I saw Up!!!! I was like this is not right! This is a cartoon! Like someone said above that opening montage was perfection.
Taken => Liam Neeson is a badass. He f*c*ked some1 sh!t up with a fire extinguisher.
BEST. SCENE. EVER.
Movies could not begin to describe my life, I think this generation relies to much on the media to define themselves etc, but I won’t kill the vibe and I’ll play ball.
Movies that help describe women (Me)
My big fat greek wedding => The constant pressure, criticism and comparison that you receive from a big family to follow their plan and meet the standards set out for you. The importance of being with some1 who is willing to at least understand the culture, invasive and straight up crazy that comes with having a big family.
Pretty Woman => No I’m not a whore, but am I wrong to dream of someone wanting to spoil the hell out of me.
Im done.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding, good one.
Boyz in the Hood.. . . . If you want to understand a man, watch it take notes, and then watch it again. Shows how a father will do anything for his son. And the respect “thugs” have my “learning ninjas”. . .
Yes on Boyz in the Hood. It also shows why a woman cannot teach a boy how to be a man. She can only love him, raise him, discipline him and respect the role that his father will have in his life the moment she steps back and lets the child’s father raise him. The movie illustrates that children need their father more than they need materialistic things.
The movie also shows that when a man truly values himself, he will never ever give up on his own child.
I thought no one would mention this movie. The scene with Lawrence & Cuba discussing his possible first time was endearing.
There were some other scenes that hood ninjas could relate to pertaining to hood ninja issues… ie. , getting your bread up, shining, pride, future dreams/goals vs staying in the same place, or the chick dude boned telling him she knocked and he tried to cancel her and got flipped on etc…
Saving Private Ryan
Miracle at St. Anna
Nothing seems to illustrate the complexity and simplicity of men than war. I don’t know why but it just seems to be the best backdrop against which our worst and our best is observed all at the same time.
waiting for someone to say ‘Player’s Club’o_OI’m surprised no one has mentioned Sugar Hill. Men are always looking for ways to have complicated pieces of our lives co-exist peacefully without having to chose a side.
“Just Wright” – but stop watching after Paula Patton comes back and he chooses her and dogs Queen. No movie has been more real than that movie up until he walks off set and leaves Paula.
Pretty face, small waist trumps great woman that’s actually cares about yo @ss every time.
*slips on my bitter pants*
The Joy Luck Club
Memoirs of a Geisha
Amelie
Pan’s Labyrinth
Bram Stoker’s Dracula
The Autobiography of Dorothy Dandrige
Gone with the wind…
I could go on and on, you get various aspects of the human experience as a woman, regardless of century, ethincity, nationality, socio-encomonic class, culture etc.
As far as understanding, get one of the one you are with, our compositions are made up of many hues and melodies
I also loved Memoirs of a Geisha though no sure how Gone with the Wind plays in…I love it though…
Pan’s Labrinyth? Really? That movie was utterly creepy.
I’d thrown in Mystic River, along the same lines as Taken. Sean Penn’s wife is the prototype of what every man wants in a wife, unquestioned loyalty. After Sean Penn mistakenly kills his childhood homeboy thinking that he killed his daughter, scene goes like this:
Wife: Celeste called looking for you. She was worried something might happen. She told me about Dave. Told me what she told you. What kind of wive says those things about her husband? And why’d she run to you?
Sean Penn Character: Why didnt you call?
Wife: Because it’s like I told the girls. Their daddy is a king. And a king knows what to do and does it.
and most women desires her King but alas…..anyway great movie, Clint did a marvelous job and so did the actors, loves Sean Penn since Fast times
“Obviously, women will spend beaucoup dinero trying to figure out men…or at least until they find a man and get married. I actually wonder if women care as much about this sh*t after they end up married.”
I didn’t care to ‘figure out’ men before I got married. I understand men (without psychological disorders). Why? Because I was raised by a man.
Don’t get me wrong, mom was around, but she traveled a lot for work. Dad was there day in and day out. I understood dad. He liked simple things and no BS. He liked to camp, cook, fish, keep a clean house, enjoy a beer, read his paper, watch football UNINTERRUPTED, etc. Seriously, it takes too much energy to figure out the simple things. Just let them do what they wanna do.
After I got married, my learning experience was huge. Marrying someone not of your own culture and religion is quite the learning experience. But, you know what? He was still male. Liked the simple things and liked (then) to see me happy.
“what are some movies men should watch if we want to understand women?”
Brides Maids. Super hilarious and true in so many ways!
“Just let them do what they wanna do.”
Sums it up.
See the flip side of that is a man has to let me do what I wanna do too. And, there always seems to be some problems with that because the man wants it to be his way and that’s when we part ways. I can’t deal with balls and chains.
You can have your cake and eat it too, but you have to let me have mine.
Movies to help you all understand women…or at least get their (our?) brand of logic:
Baby Boy–for every wratched dude, there’s a woman willing to love him
The Break Up–classic tale of “I love you…now conform” from both parties
A Walk in the Clouds–don’t judge me! Ha! They never meant to fall in love, but they did (forget she was pregnant with another man’s child…that’s not the point of the story…at least not to me)
The Best Man–yes, both Black women and men were depicted in a good, realistic way. You had the virginal (somewhat naive) chick who gets one dig at her cheating man, the career chick watching her chances for love go by, the regular chick taking her time to find herself and is now ready to commit…yet her man isn’t there yet.
Love & Basketball–most of us have wanted to have a last ditch effort to get the “one who got away.”
PS, I love you–for the sappy crowd (which I happen to be in) a movie about love, loss and the process we go through to get over it.
I can think of more songs than movies though…that list is very long.
“The Break Up–classic tale of “I love you…now conform” from both parties.”
That “Why would I want to do dishes?” scene is one of the realest scenes ever wrote. I’ve literally had that identical argument multiple times in my younger days. Instructional in chick logic. “You said on our first date you didn’t like flowers. You said they were a waste of money.”…”Every woman likes flowers”…I guarantee every man who saw that scene had a collective flashback.
We do that “we don’t want/like what other girls do” bit to show how we’d be the “cool girlfriend” if you choose us. Such stupid logic because if a woman really does want flowers and she says she doesn’t, most men won’t buy them and a woman shouldn’t expect them to…but alas, some of us will anyway.
Just typing that made me realize why y’all don’t get us sometimes.
This is why you get the “Don’t listen to the words out of women’s mouths” Meme from men nowadays. Years of those type of conversations.
set it off, their eyes were watching god, lisa’s whole storyline in (coming to america), the scene in love jones when josie tells nina to leave w. marvin just to see what darius will say.
any reoccuring theme that most black women want to feel respected, loved, and appreciated. yeah…
there are really just so many.
A Good Day To Be Black And S*xy
Pretty much covers various personality types/traits/characteristics of both men and women in some way shape or form and how we each deal with a variety of situations, via some realistic and relatable scenarios. Especially considering the changing times pertaining to the s*xual dynamics between men and women these days.
lol, I JUST Tivo’d this movie
Looking forward to seeing it!
In some ways, I agree that men are simple enough to understand from schema, constructs and archetypes.
“Basically human” is the ideal. Water, food, entertainment and task. Check for the happy people of the World and they all have those basics. Men have basic requirements and perhaps that is the point. Not to say “look beyond the exterior” but more like fulfillment in tendency.<— By this I more accurately mean that, at least for me, I will have not a single complaint as long as my basic needs are met. I imagine most guys to be this way.
These movies capitalize on the strongest correlating factors of the issues that commonly arise in relationships with men and illustrate some ways to overcome these issues.
I seem to be saying things in a somewhat indirect manner. I do not currently have the brain space to navigate this clearer. Apologies for any and all confusions. Eff you if that ain't good enough.
I know this is late, but I was working…
Bridemaids: I have to get this on dvd eventually. pretty much sums up the female experience, especially the part where they were singing to each other
It’s complicated: I’m suprised some of you haven’t mentioned this movie at all. I seem to catch it all the time on cable. The only part I didn’t care for was when they tried to tie in the son in law and somehow, make in the middleman into their affair. This movie illustrated to me how some of you all(men) reap what you sow and how one needs closure…well, I didn’t think meryl streeps character needed closure.
Set it off: Need I say more?
Taken does not belong on this list!
I could recommend others based on different things, but Taken just isn’t in the league with the others.
Very few major films portray women as they are.
That is why the Bechdel test exists:
1. Are there two or more women in it?
2. Do they talk to each other?
3. About something other than a man?
No rom-com has ever portrayed women accurately. None.
Movies that do aiight:
North Country – Don’t mess with a woman and her means of supporting her family.
Erin Brokovich (both are true stories)
Precious- Real talk, some (read, a lot of) women have extremely fugged up lives.
Aliens- Signorney Weaver is a perfect example of a woman being badass, all other movies suffer from trying to make a badass whilst still looking ‘sexy’… ie. anything Jolie does.
Silence of the Lambs- Agent Starling. Nuff said.
Cosign on Joy Luck Club as was stated above- it’s not even just an Asian thing.
Real Women Have Curves- for us phat gurls, we all had her momma.
Red Lantern- Chinese film with subtitle. Amazing. So real. Emotions not at all contrived.
The Secret Garden- kids movie that is not really for kids. Portrays a bratty little girl perfectly.
Mean Girls- over the top mostly but there were moments that literally brought me back to high school. Relational aggression is a biotch.
Sirens – Australian film.
Star Trek Voyager- Janeway was my role model.
Jason’s Lyric
- Daddy/family issues/loyalty VS Love (or the new chick that got our nose open)
Daddy’s Lil girls
- Baby mother issues
- SBM issues
30 Rock
- Jack D having the world in front of him and not able to choose/find the right woman to share it with -> having more than one choice and not being able to choose one over the other because both women did something different for him (later resolved)
Brothers
- Veteran snaps after entertaining the thought that his brother was twisting out his wife.
I think I love my wife
- Married man seeking to reclaim some of his youth and tired of the routine of married life (ie. his wife), when exceedingly hot woman enters his life from his past and turns it (he realizes later) upside down. I would have smashed at the end though. ALL NIGHT LONG. (did you see them draws? I did)
Crazy Stupid Love
- Steve Carrell divorces, gets swagger back and pines for his ex wife all movie and drowns his sorrows in a string of women (also see The Breakup). The guy from the notebook (who plays Hitch to Steve Carrell’s character) is a well off player and ends up finding someone he can relate to.
honestly, i love all these movies so much that i can’t even bother to offer up comparable chick flix. and by love i mean that i own at least one of them on VHS (THAT’S RIGHT, i said it), try to watch several of them in excerpts on youtube while at work and/or quote them at LEAST 3 times a week. i didn’t read the whole feed, to see what else is listed but i’ll throw out:
Love Jones (Award for the WORST advice a homegirl can give goes to *drumroll* Lisa Nicole Carson for telling Nina to go to NY. but hey, i know that woulda been the diff between an episode and an actual movie;). but this movie got rotated so much that me and a homegirl took a trip to chicago on gp. that’s gotta count for something…
Brown Sugar- pretty much the first 10 mins of this movie create a ridiculous hip hop flashback bliss only nearly equaled by the recent ATCQ documentary. and then 20 mins in Mos drops the mic and makes the movie even greater. then there’s rin and tin. do i need to continue?
for kicks and giggles i’d also like to nom a couple great network shows that i also feel give great insight into the minds of the fellas:
The League
Rescue Me
Terriers (short lived but i enjoyed it)
for the ladies this is a no brainer- anything on Bravo or the Style network (guilty!)
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Ha! Men and women can understand each other just fine…when they are *compatible.* See, what happens is someone get into a relationship with someone that they don’t mix well with at all, and then turn around and blame the entire opposite gender for it. I really don’t think it’s a huge trick of the mind to understand someone who you go together with.
Anyway, I’d be described as androgynous, which maybe why I really like a lot of these listed “guy” films. Or perhaps that’s just my individual personality…? Wink wink, nudge nudge…