(More)Things That Men Struggle To Understand That Women Do

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I will wash my ass with this soap.

This ain’t funny so don’t you dare laugh, but some men just don’t understand some things that women do. I’m fairly sure I’ve written about this before. I’m also fairly sure that I can’t find the post where I may have done so. So I’m adding to it based on new convos with new ninjas. And this isn’t one of those #womenarecrazy tirades that us menfolks are becoming so famous for. Nope. This is more of a “y’all do this and I truly don’t get it” things. Generalization alert swag.

Generalize deez. Which I’m fairly sure is both a pun AND a possible title for the new movie coming out directed by Spike Lee and written by Tyler Perry and T.D. Jakes. That sh*t cray.

So, back to the lecture at hand. Over the course of my life, I’ve spent a significant amount of time around many many womens. From my various sisters (real spit, I’ve got a lot of sisters, we’re damn near Mormon), to the women I’ve dated, to the daughter that I’m raising that will grow into a woman, I’ve borne witness to many a thing that I just couldn’t quite make sense of. Some of those things that I couldn’t quite make sense of has gotten me in trouble since, well, if I don’t understand it, then I’m inclined not to respect is gangsta and either…you know what…let’s dive in.

LOUGANIS! <—-old school reference like a motherf*cker.

1. Decorative…anything

Pillows. Soap. Bathroom towels. I HATE decorative pillows. Actually, I hate EXCESSIVE amounts of decorative pillows. And it seems that you can only have excessive amounts of decorative pillows. Especially on beds. Why the f*ck does ANYBODY need 15 pillows on a bed. THAT NOBODY WILL SEE BECAUSE NOBODY IS ALLOWED IN THE GROWN FOLKS BEDROOM ANYWAY? Don’t even get me started on decorative soap. Actually, let’s start.

I will use your decorative soap. It’s almost my defiant rebellion against your damn soap that just wants to be used. It’s soap. It needs to be used in order to be validated as soap. If a stripper never claps her ass, is she a stripper? If soap never gets a sud, is it soap? I say no. It’s just a block of glycerin that’s getting laughed at by the Zest and other soaps in the bathroom. Same goes with your monogrammed decorative towels.

Moral of the story: don’t let me use the bathroom with the “nice” sh*t in it.

2. Poofs

I’m talking about those spa shower poof things. Full disclosure: I bought one because 1) a guy I fully respect has one and I figured that if its good enough for that ninja its good enough for me..respect; and 2) I wanted to see what the big deal was with a damn poof. Every woman has one. And I’ve realized that they make no functional sense.

WhatyoutalkinboutPanama?

Glad you asked.

Question: how does one wash their ass if all you use in the shower is your poof? You can’t tell me that you use the poof in your ass and then put it on your face the next go ’round? That’s why ninjas like me wash their washclothes daily. I stay with a stockpile of washclothes for this purpose. But explain to me the poof? I need to know.

I NEED TO KNOW!!

3. Lotion regimens

I’ve brought this up before and even wrote a whole post about it that I’m too lazy to go find, but what is the damn deal with so many lotions and sh*t. (I came in the door) I said it before that I use Palmer’s all day. And I’ve been told that its too heavy for summer time. Yet my skin roars baby. It glistens. And yes those last two sentences are likely 86% gay. But its true. Y’all skin ain’t that much different and the bottoms of many of y’allsis feet STILL could light matches. So what gives with the various regimens that don’t solve whatever problem you’re trying to solve.

I’m on my man sh*t. I need to unnadig.

4. Constant clothes jacking

I could write (and probably will) a whole post about the serious advantages to dating for women and this will make the list: whyfore come y’all STAY stealing our clothes? Look, I get it. You all want our tshirts. One? That makes sense. Two. Okay…you’re getting a little klepto on me but still, I can deal. But when you all clear out our undershirts and we have to go to buy 8-packs for 19.99 of tshirts JUST to have some to wear, well that’s going to f*cking far. What’s up with the outright disrespect for our need to have stuff like wifebeaters (though there ain’t a man alive that doesn’t like seeing a woman in a wifebeater) and tshirts? Why is it that the longer I know you, the less of these things that I have??? This has been consistent since I was 18. What gives womanthieves!?!?!??!?!?

So, ladies…I want answers. Fellas what else do you want to know? And ladies, any questions of us?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. DO YOU MIND IF I LOTION YOU UP? aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

Newer Comments →
  • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

    How about the many circles of hell they put us through on a regular basis?

    • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

      Now that I’ve read the post, let me begin with #3:

      Every girlfriend since the beginning of my dating life have jacked me for my basketball shorts. This is no lie and I can’t make this up if I wanted to. I seriously spent about 20mins looking for a set of shorts to sleep in and that ish made me even more restless and I couldn’t get no sleep becuz all I could do is sit there and think which broad had which set of my shorts. Like on the real that’s going on tomorrow’s “Things to Do” lust real spit

      • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

        *list LOL not lust

      • Meisarebel

        “Now that I’ve read the post, let me begin with #3″

        I legitimately laughed out loud after reading that.

        But you right. My ex has 2 of my shorts, couple of my boxers (that she uses as shorts), a few of my wife beaters, my Italian Soccer shirt (oh how I miss that) and probably some other sh*t that I fail to remember right now.

        Granted, I do have a pair of her pa—

        Yea… What’s up with girls stealing our ish?!

        <_<

        • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

          HAHA!! (choking on my Jack and Coke cough. . .cough)

          Come on now!!! The Italian soccer shirt too!?! One of my ex’s took my favorite baseball jersey, My Long Beach Dirtbags Jersey. It was so tight!!! It said Dirtbags on the front in Gold Black and White it was sweet girls checked for that jersey 4eva in Arizona!!!! I miss it sometimes

        • https://twitter.com/#!/Think2Inspire Think2Inspire

          If anyone took my soccer paraphernalia I would not let the Lord strike them down, no sir I will go and find you myself. Futbol is not a game, it is a way of life. You mess up my way of life and I can’t promise your family you will be safe. I’m having my World Cup Brasil 2014 shirt plaqued when I return from Rio.

          • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

            God don’t let me get on my story about the chick who tried to take my Kobe jersey and make it into a Jersey Dress. . . . .(takes long drink of Jack and Coke) that girl DID. NOT. LAST. LONG.

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              a Koby/Fakers jersey would be turned into a mop,by yours truly in the eventuality of a fatal break up!

              • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

                @Sistah Queen

                Come on now. I’m already sad and hurt as it is with tonights loss don’t curb stomp a ninja while he’s down and bleeding already

                • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                  Exactly… end of an era. SMH.

                • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                  Hold the FUG up?! Wait what?!!??!???!? FAKERS LOST?! to who? oh mi gosh.

                  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                    OKC.

                    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                      YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYESSSSSSS!!!!!! Is Kobe alive?! Or did he commit suicide already?!

            • https://twitter.com/#!/Think2Inspire Think2Inspire

              ewwww a jersey dress! Did she rock Chinese slipperstoo?

              • https://twitter.com/#!/Think2Inspire Think2Inspire

                *slippers too

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                lawwwd hammercy!!!! I remember once buying two pairs of Chinese slippers for $5 and those thangs looked banging for five days, and started coming off on the Sabbath day! shiiid. I was madder than a raging African bull.

                *hey girl, you started twerking?*

                • https://twitter.com/#!/Think2Inspire Think2Inspire

                  ;) I’m still in the learning stages Mami. Apparently you need upper body strength to twerk like a pro.

                  Dear Future Boo,
                  Thank VSB for the rachetness I learned.

                  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                    if ever I learn how to twerk, I’ll make sure I’m twerking for money. Ain’t no need to be twisting and grinding air without dough and attention I figure.

                    • fivegirl

                      In the privacy of my own home the other day, I taught myself how to clap my a**. I have never been so proud. Just thought you’d like to know

              • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

                LOL naww she was black not Asian haha

                • Adrienne

                  Did she have Nike Heels lmao ??!?!!!

          • Meisarebel

            FINALLY! The Rock… Has co— I digress.

            Finally! Someone speaks my language!

            And the worse part is I got it in support of Italy BEFORE they won the 2006 World Cup, but only because Argentina were eliminated. Sigh… My Barca jersey though… Oh… Sacred fkin property!

            • Petitekayee

              I don’t know if I respect her for jacking your jersey; on one hand she obviously knew enough to love the beautiful game. On the other hand, if anyone came for my Henry Barça jersey, heads would roll! As a lady, I can’t say I won’t say I’m above taking a boo thangs jersey except my current one supports Tottenham :/

              • Meisarebel

                Outside World Cup, can’t say she follows the game. But I feel where you comin from.

                Tottenham though? I suppose… They barely made it though. And with Chlesea winning the UEFA I doubt they gonna be in Champions League next year. Shrug.

                Barcelona to the world.

                • DB

                  Because they won the Champions League title, they will be in next year’s Champions League. It does not matter that they finished sixth in the EPL and thus unable to automatically qualify for the CL.

                • DB

                  Woops. Misread your comment. My response dealt with Chelsea. The Spurs? Have fun in the Europa League.

                  • Meisarebel

                    Ha. It’s cool. Was talkin bout Tottenham.

            • Ray

              Real Madrid alllll day!

              • Meisarebel

                You. Go away. Go away. We don’t like you.

                • Breezy

                  Manchester United!!!!

          • MiMi

            Arsenal 4 Life…..Just saying!!!!

        • Aaron Smarter

          Ball shorts is literally THEE most disrespectful thing she can ever take from me.

          What if I got a game, woman?!?

          Day before laundry day, my little brother looks at me and says, “Let’s go”…. I don’t wanna wait twenty minutes for the damn drier to finish rotating! I’m ready to ball NOW!

        • Kandi

          Since we givin out jersey do you have anything in a small or medium thanks in advance

          • Meisarebel

            Target sells Haynes jerseys for the cheap. Football jerseys (sorry… Soccer… Urgh…) should be cherished.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          you know what has pissed me off more than anything…MY MOREHOUSE SWEATERS AND SHIRTS THAT HAVE BEEN JACKED.

          heffa, you ain’t go to the ‘House, give me my sh*t back.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Sounds like the men here have some phone calls to make…. lol

            • whostolethesoul1

              seem like to me they might want to stop watching that a** walk out that door and check some bags #getemgirls

              *checking my stash*

      • Around the Way Girl

        Idk what it is, but there’s something erotic about wearing a guy’s basketball shorts. Or sweatpants. It’s like you feel his heat in them or something…

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          simmer down.

        • Breezy

          @Around The Way Girl: That isn’t heat you feel its called claps.

          • Around the Way Girl

            C for effort ;)

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        What if she stole these basketball shorts http://jocksandstilettojill.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Charles-Barkley-361×575.jpg

        Justified, right?

        • Geneva Girl

          Did she take the purse too?

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          The fact that this… happened.

          *dead*

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          The look on the white woman’s face standing behind him is making me laugh.

      • Editgirl

        You obviously sleep with too many women at the same time if you can’t figure out which woman had your shorts. Otherwise, you would be able to guess based on the timing of the lost shorts just who had them. Real talk.

        • Geneva Girl

          Thank you! I was going to point out the same thing.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          ” You obviously sleep with too many women at the same time if you can’t figure out which woman had your shorts. Otherwise, you would be able to guess based on the timing of the lost shorts just who had them. Real talk.”

          NOBODY said they didn’t know who took their stuff. I think the truth is the men didn’t ask for their stuff back, and the next woman, then the next, then the next walked off with their stuff.

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      Circles of hell?! Why don’t you cut your losses and distance yourself from us, instead of complaining?!

      • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

        WOAH NOW WOAH NOW!! I’m not complaining! I’m just voicing a few of my struggles as of late my Nubian Goddess. No disrespect coming from this gentlemen.

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          mmmkay. hell is not a good place.

          me likey the Nubian Goddess! It softened my response! *wink wink* ;)

          • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

            Oh Dearest Nubian Goddess or better stated “African Mami” you shall be known from thee as Queen,

            I have been a long time lurker on this site and respect you something fierce for your opinions and wisdom you share upon my Life Line called VSB. I have nothing but the utmost respect and love for you. sign Sincerely, Craig and Dem

            • nillalatte

              I’m sorry?! Mami gave ME the title of Queen! She can, however, be the Sistah Queen if you like. :P

              • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

                @nillalatte

                I see you. And I got you.

              • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

                @nillalatte

                I see you. And I got you.

              • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                Nilla I thought that you were Khaleesi, Mother of Dragons?

                • nillalatte

                  LOL… Mother of Dragons… I like dat! (breathes fire) lol

                • Meisarebel

                  +3 for that Game of Thrones reference.

                  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                    Nillalatte is so racially ambiguous that we’ve all just assumed that she’s Dothraki.

                    • Meisarebel

                      Ain’t nothing wrong with that. You see how they get down. Freakier than a motherfker… And Nil already knows my intentions…

                    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                      @ Miserable,

                      You a straight talker, huh? Me likey!!!!!

                      Queeeeen, I APPPPROVE of your current king!!!!

                    • nillalatte

                      Y’all gonna make me have to pay to see this show, you know that, right?! I don’t have HBO.. ;( Meisarebel… lol… you killing me. Yeah, Mami, he is starting to grow on me. ;)

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                Quuuuuuuuuuuueeeen!!! You are the one and only queen on hurr! Errybody knows dat!!! I ain’t tryna steal that shine from you ma!!! :)

            • writeous

              This comment was sweet enough to effect an acute case of oral decay, but it made me cringe. Perhaps I’m weird, but I cannot stand guys that appear to concede to subdue a combative response. #nofun

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      “How about the many circles of hell they put us through on a regular basis?”

      You mean like the dating scene? LMAO!!!

      • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

        @PA

        Yes the dating scene, the constant questions about nothing at all, her talking bout one co-worker who pisses her off all the time, her eating my last box of Captain Crunch and drinking all the milk! I could keep going but yes those circles of hell

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    LOL @ Lotion Regimens. I live alone, but if you went to my bathroom you’d think I had like 8 roommates. But that’s how I keep my skin silky and luxuuuuuuuuuurous.

    (the same could be said for all my hair products. shakes my twistout)

    • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

      I must know: What is the need for all those lotions? Is there a specific need for each one of them? Like a special day lotion, a “I’m gettin some tonight” lotion, my everyday lotion, etc? What gives? Craig must know and understand this way of thinking?

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        I just did inventory:
        Eye cream, SPF face lotion (day), anti-wrinkle face cream (night), SPF body lotion (day), Cocoa butter (night), Vaseline (feet), Nadinola (massive scar on my left elbow – tripped and fell while running), Chapstick

        I don’t even have time for my millionteen haircare products. It’s a lot of work to look low maintenance

        • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

          I forgot – I also keep a tube of hand cream in my purse and another at my desk. I moisturize after I wash my hands.

          • LMNOP

            that’s a good idea.
            My mom keeps a bottle of lotion by the sink so she can moisturize after she does the dishes.

        • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

          Now that I know what all that stuff is for I can respect all those products in yo bathroom, crowding the sink while I’m searchin for soap to wash my hands

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          So…in other words, you are moisturizing your situation and preserving your sexy…at least that’s how Puffy put it. Correct?

        • Stephy

          Do you Vaseline your feet in the summer with sandals? Regular lotion has me feeling like I am on a slip and slide. I can only lotion the tops.

      • janelfelice

        Long time lurker here. As the owner of several different lotions, I have to come out of hiding to answer this one. Lotions fall into two categories for me, spring/summer and fall/winter. There is a thin lotion I use when it is warm, and a heavier lotion for when its cold. Within the two categories, there are two lotions each, for a total of four lotions so far. I have a face lotion and a body lotion for when it is warm, and a face and body lotion for when it is cold. Do you follow so far?? On top of those four, I have Eucerin cream for extreme situations. Lastly, I have going out lotion, which has a little shimmer and smells nice. So that’s six main lotions. That’s not unreasonable right:)

        • kaydee

          I too am a long-time lurker but I had to come out for this, I am severe lotion addict. I don’t even try to hide it anymore and my ex always complained about all the stuff crowding the shower corners, the bathroom sink, the cabinet, counters and shelves. So here’s the rundown: before the lotion, bar soap, liquid body soap, “liquid lady soap” for special places, and then “bar lady bar” because I like to be extra clean and cucumber-melonish, then three times a week a sugar body scrub. Out of the shower, Johnson and Johnson shea & cocoa butter baby oil, followed by chocolate foot lotion, then body lotion. I rotate depending on my mood, strawberry body butter, mango body butter or Kiehls Soy WhipButter. And course sunscreen on my exposed parts. Then a couple of perfume blends. My face is a whole other matter, sunscreen, face lotion, witch hazel, eye cream night cream, different chapsticks for moods. Not to mention my purse hand creams and desk hand creams. It’s a bit much but I’ve been this way since I had control over bath time and my man loves the way I smell, so it’s only going to get worse.

      • http://Thisistip.wordpress.com Thisistip

        Speaking as a lady with some of the softest skin ever (seriously ppl are amazed. I’ve been told by men and women, even once in a prayer circle). Even though I get it from my momma, I started use a few products in my old age (30′s)
        - I start with oil of olay in shower body lotion. It’s like conditioner for the body it locks in moisture. Just smooth on and rinse off.
        - a base lotion. I’m not picky jergens or suave will do. I like aveeno and ambi.
        - if I want to smell good. I’ll slap on some bath and body works sensual amber or black current vanilla
        - if I want to shimmer I’ll add some oil of Olay quench. Love that stuff.
        - i also try to spot check with a cocoa butter stick nightly.
        That’s just my body lotion (not face) and I really don’t use much.

        • Breezy

          @Thisistip: Imma a need ya’ll to just pray in prayer circle…lol.

          • http://ohsoluminous.blogspot.ca/ OhSoLuminous

            EL OH EL

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      Yes lawd! The hair products game is NOT a game.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        I definitely have more hair products than lotion. But I keep a good supply of lotion. If not, by skin has adverse reactions.

    • Kandi

      Personal thoughts on De-ash-ing
      - Hydrating begins internally 64+oz of water, Omega 3, Vit A, E
      - Go to the shower ready to work thats where the poof/loofa or the brush comes into play. Also take the time to rub off the dead skin of your lips.
      - Forgo the long baths with scalding hot water
      - Seal in the moisture with a light oil: jojoba not the heavy mineral oil
      - Women: luxuriate in the whipped, parfait, or whatever concoction they got on sale at TJ Maxx
      - Ashy larry days: Salt scrub

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        that just sounds taxing.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      but what if your skin aint luxurious? what about them broads with 27 different types of sh*t that doesnt help anyway????

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        27 types of stuff that doesn’t help means she needs a trip to the dermatologist and possibly a complete overhaul of what she’s eating.

        • whostolethesoul1

          Um no, that heffa should be lonely or she would improve her situation

  • http://www.shardesaidwhat.blogspot.com Sharde Marie

    At this very moment I have a drawer full of clothes that once upon a time belonged to a man. *shrug* It just makes me feel all girly and giddy when I walk around the house with a pair of panties and his sweat shirt on. IDK why.

    • Meisarebel

      The SAME man?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        LMAO. i was thinking the same thing.

        • http://www.shardesaidwhat.blogspot.com Sharde Marie

          Uhhhhhhhhhhhh How about them Lakers?

          • https://twitter.com/#!/_DonQ_ QG

            #dead

    • http://challyshares.tumblr.com/ Nei Jae

      i have that drawer as well. i was surprised to see just how much I’d accumulated.

    • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

      @Sharde Marie

      Pleez tell me that that drawer is full of the current man’s clothing and not old flames and ninjas “who shall not be named”?

      • http://www.shardesaidwhat.blogspot.com Sharde Marie

        Well there technically is no current one. And I don’t like destroying items that once had sentimental value. so there are a couple in there that belong to an ex-lover. But hey! C’est la vie. lol

    • Royale W. Cheese

      I have a couple of exclusive start-up company shirts in one of my drawers. I was asked not to wear them in public. That makes me feel giddy in an evil way.

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    iCant relate to anything you wrote jammy jams! i’m a very simple woman. I’m a village girl.

    • Kema

      I agree minus the poof. I’m a new age hippy. :-) Live very minimalist

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      to quote your favorite Jay-Z…”we dont believe you, you need more people”

      you write too excitedly to be a simple woman.

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        Jammy Jams,

        I’m just high maintenance that’s all. Simple enough!

  • http://challyshares.tumblr.com/ Nei Jae

    1. The pillows. I am sooooo guilty of this. I absolutely LOVE decorating and my favorite spot to decorate over and over again is my bedroom and personal bathroom.

    2. The poofs. You have a point major there. Not just about the azz to face thing, either. How do you clean your bottom with a poof. Well, you don’t. Because you can’t. I have poofs and loofahs and things of that nature, but I always bathe with a towel and bar soap first.

    3. i admit, i use three different types of lotion: Jergens, Palmer’s Cocoa Butter, and my scent of the week from B&BW.

    4. There is just something about your man’s tshirt that is oh so comforting. I can’t really put it into words, just get use to it already, and stop ya bellyaching about it. (~_~)

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      “3. i admit, i use three different types of lotion: Jergens, Palmer’s Cocoa Butter, and my scent of the week from B&BW.”

      I went to get a woman something for her birthday from Bath & Body Works earlier this year. I was astounded at how many fragrances were almost always of the fruit and flower variety. What is it with women wanting to smell like the produce section in a grocery store? LMAO!

      “4. There is just something about your man’s tshirt that is oh so comforting. I can’t really put it into words, just get use to it already, and stop ya bellyaching about it. (~_~)”

      No. Leave our clothes alone! Do you know how much money we have to pay for those things?

      • http://challyshares.tumblr.com/ Nei Jae

        I don’t know about that whole produce aisle. I don’t got for the overyly fruity or flowery scents. I alternate between Japanese Cherry Blossom (my absolute fave) and Paris L’amour (somewhat similar to JCB, but used so that my body doesn’t “adapt” to the JCB). I chose those two because they are romantic and sexy (respectively) and works really well with my body chemistry.

        As for the Jergens, while I love the way it moisturizes, there’s something about that cherry almond scent that solidified that choice for me.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      look…A MAN’S SHIRT is a singular item. WHY DO YOU ALL KEEP TAKING OUR SH*T??????

      • Estee

        Because it smells like you and makes us think naughty thoughts after we shower with our poofs and moisturize with our 5-step process. :-D

        • http://challyshares.tumblr.com/ Nei Jae

          Couldn’t have said it better. LOL

        • nillalatte

          This right thurr! We love when you leave your scent on our pillows too. ;)

          • http://challyshares.tumblr.com/ Nei Jae

            definitely that!

        • http://challyshares.tumblr.com/ Nei Jae

          When he mentioned the shirts I automatically thought of the song by Destiny’s Child.

          At night, when you’re far and I’m alone I feel the fabric from your t-shirt close to my body. I can still hear your baritone in my ear telling me you’ll take it slow….

          ….When you’re not here (I sleep in your t-shirt)
          I wish you were here (To take off your t-shirt
          After we make love (I sleep in your t-shirt)
          Wake up in your t-shirt
          Still smell the scent of your cologne
          When I need your feel (i sleep in your t-shirt)
          Boy I need your help (to take off your t-shirt)
          After we make love (I sleep in your t-shirt)
          Wake up in your t-shirt
          Still smell the scent of your cologne

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          y’all all do recognize that this does sound like stalker behavior. lol. like i get it and all, but if a man openly admitted to this he just might sound crazy.

          • nillalatte

            Don’t hate, participate. :D

          • Estee

            OR, he just might get eternal morning…uhh…”pleasantries”… Women like to know stuff like that, makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Like, seriously…if my scent makes you miss me or think about me, and you actually tell me, please believe Imma make the tacos Jody. (of course this is only applicable if we are boos. If I dont know you like that and I find out you’ve been secretly sniffing my ish, THEN I’m gonna think you’re a creeper)

        • http://Thisistip.wordpress.com Thisistip

          Yeah what Estée said

      • http://challyshares.tumblr.com/ Nei Jae

        My “collection” started innocently enough. Circumstances would often call for me to need a change of attire, so he’d give me a shirt. After a while, I’d forget to return them.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/fiveisthenumber fiveisthenumber

    Why do women insist that the living room look as if no one lives in it? It is a “living” room…

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      hey cute toes!! I got tons of compliments!! :)

      • https://twitter.com/#!/fiveisthenumber fiveisthenumber

        good to know…gotta keep the foot game on point…

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          yezzir!!

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      hey cute toes!! I got tons of compliments!! :)

      I would make my living room livable for any man with toes as cute as yours!!!

      • https://twitter.com/#!/fiveisthenumber fiveisthenumber

        ha! A man just wanna sit down and not have to worry about fluffing all kinds of pillows or sitting in his recliner and not having the view of the TV obstructed by some big centerpiece on the coffee table…

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          I understand. Simplicity is crucial in life!!

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        hey cute toes!! I got tons of compliments!!

        Truth. African Mami’s capacity for flattery in inexhaustible.

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          hey Jay! u R still my heart!! don’t you worry about who or what I’m flattering.

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic King Jordan

      “Why do women insist that the living room look as if no one lives in it? It is a “living” room…”

      THIS.
      BOGGLES.
      MY.
      MIND.

      among other things women do. i’ve just said forget it, and concentrate on more logical things, like war. war and peace. war, peace, and revolution, #EndlessWaltz

      *trademarks yall’sis*

      • rhenewal

        So is it bad that there are cushions on my couch that I throw tantrums if anyone leans on? And that super-tantrums ensue if any of my bed-pillows are EVER folded in half? It drives me crazy when someone takes a decent pillow and folds it, thereby denting it and ruining it’s shape forever when I have another 7 pillows on the bed. Why can’t you just stack them?

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          Watching all of that would amuse me. LOL

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yes, it is bad. why the hell do you have so many damn pillows?

          • whostolethesoul1

            Cuz that sh*t looks good-I’m always tickled if my husband decides to make the bed and arrange the very pillows he rails against #goodhometraining

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      …And to take it one step further- what is it with older women and putting plastic covers all over the sofa. I want to hear an answer on this one now!

      • Meisarebel

        That’s one of the tackiest things ever.

      • esa

        (smile)

        my grandmother had slipcovers for the slipcovers.
        the ~good~ slipcovers were for company ..

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        That’s from growing up po’. People who never had nothing can go to the extremes when they have it later.

        • happylovely

          I’m totally flashbacking with the plastic couch covers. My parents had them for the longest time. Heaven forbid you sit on it while wearing shorts. The plastic sticks to your legs when you try to get up. Another relative has the plastic on the couch in the living room and no one was allowed to sit on it. EVER. lol.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        yeah…i come from one of those families. lol. we even had the damn plastic runners going thru the house so you wouldnt mess up the rug. looked like a gotdamn Volksmarch whenever a gang of folks were over.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          And don’t let the plastic runner fold up from the carpet. You have to stop walking and fix it, and then walk lightly over it so it doesn’t fold up again LMAO

      • Breezy

        My grandmother had lace dollies that she would place ON TOP of the plastic covers on the arms of the chair. I don’t know why she believed that dirt would somehow penetrate the plastic and so the lace dollies would prevent that from happening.

  • OhSoLuminous

    Guys still use wash cloths? O_o

    Lol @ #4 I guess it makes girls feel cute and sexy plus I think guys secretly like it as well. So its a win win situation until y’all stop dating ofcourse.

    http://ohsoluminous.blogspot.ca/

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i dont like it. after i have to keep going out to buy more sh*t i get annoyed.

  • nillalatte

    lmao @ Panama… you’s a fool fa sho. lol

    I’m not into the decorative things. In fact, I think I mentioned that I wanted to hire a gay man to decorate my house because I just don’t have that talent.

    Poufs aka lufah is good for exfoliating your skin bruh. They make one where the wash cloth is on one side and the lufah is on another. Still need a wash cloth because lufah’s can be rough on sensitive skin.

    Lotions? Oh, no, not me. Found me some Udder Smooth Cream and haven’t looked back yet. Most lotions have an alcohol base which dries the skin. Moo cream, on the other hand, is completely creamed based and makes a girls skin udder smooth. I won’t explain what an udder is if you don’t know. If you don’t, look it up. :D

    Ah, clothes jacking. LOVE doing this! Especially like the shirts. My man loves a woman to dress in his shirts. He said it’s sexy. Y’all, however, can keep y’alls drawers. lol

    Questions for the guys? Nah, I’m good. Y’all simple. Good food, good sex, and y’all happy. :D

    • https://twitter.com/#!/fiveisthenumber fiveisthenumber

      +1 Nilla: the 3 s’s: Sammich, Sex, and Sleep…

    • nillalatte

      Oh, wait, on second thought on the pillows… we (I) like them for proper sleep alignment. You supposed to put one between your knees at night for proper back alignment. Some folks like to also put them around them for other comforts. Still not down with decorative pillows doe.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        is THAT why women always trynna put pillows between their legs?

        i thought its cuz yall were in heat at all times.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          lmao @ in heat all of the time. Well some of us will never be out of heat. lmao

          • nillalatte

            Now I’m gonna be like JMTG… I plead the FIF!!! lmaooooo

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              Hah!

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      I only use pure shea butter as a lotion on my body and pure cocoa butter on my face. I gave up on commercial lotions long ago. One day I took the time to read the ingredients on some lotion and after seeing all the chemicals in it I stopped with that stuff cold turkey.

      • Kema

        I like shea butter in the winter but doesnt it get icky in the summer?

    • Meisarebel

      “My man loves a woman to dress in his shirts. He said it’s sexy.”

      Dream. Shattered.

      • nillalatte

        Between that comment and your comment, we broke up. ;) It’s all good. I’m not a keeper anyways. Too much Dragon in me. lol

        • Meisarebel

          Allow me to reintroduce myself…

          My name is Meisarebel. Slayer of Dragons. Innuendo intended.

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          oh mi gosh, Queeeeen!!! I know you is strong fierce and independent, but can you let this man be great in a comment life?!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        yeah, im apparently not her man. lol. cuz all i keep thinking about is my shirts that ill never see again.

        thats why i now have a rule about my basketball shorts. if they say Morehouse, they are off limits.

        • Meisarebel

          I respect that. Fortunately for me, haven’t had any issues with someone tryna jack my HU paraphernalia. They either had their own, or just understood that it was mine. Though I have had requests.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Poufs aka lufah is good for exfoliating your skin bruh. They make one where the wash cloth is on one side and the lufah is on another. Still need a wash cloth because lufah’s can be rough on sensitive skin.

      I might have to turn in my man card for this, but I’ve been doing the same thing for the past year or so. The only diff is that I keep the washcloth and loofah separate because I wash those differently. The washcloth gets thrown in the laundry, and the loofah gets soaked in a bleach solution, rinsed off and air dried.

      Why did I go the chick route? Well, blame my damn dermatologist. Dude had me on 50-11 different lotions because of my dry skin and my various allergies. I had a woman suggest the loofah route, and I haven’t gone back. For whatever reason, scraping off 12 dead layers of skin makes it harder to be itchy all the time.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        You have nice skin Todd. You and PJack.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          thanksboo.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            ;)

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      “Questions for the guys? Nah, I’m good. Y’all simple. Good food, good sex, and y’all happy. ”

      To be fair, even though the sex is good, some of y’all can’t cook worth a damn *shots fired*.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        thats not even a shotsfired.

        thats a statement of fact.

      • nillalatte

        PA, I can cook and many different styles. You want southern food? I got you. You want Middle Eastern or Mediterranean food? I got you. You want Mexican food? I got you. You want Chinese food? Take yo’ arse to a Chinese restaurant! lol :D Some men are just too damn difficult. ;)

        • Breezy

          @Nillatte: I gat a cap for you if you don’t stop trying to entice my man with ya damn global cuisine.

          *glock on lock the block stay hot*

          • nillalatte

            lmao @ Breezy…

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

            Calm down Breezy, calm down…give me the gun…

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          Oh, you can’t make no Chinese food? A-ha!!! Gotcha! LMAO!!

        • Royale W. Cheese

          Too much variety. Too confusing.

      • Royale W. Cheese

        Since when was the typical man picky about food? You don’t have to be any more creative with feeding a man than you have to be with feeding your dog kibble, at least from what I’ve observed. Ya’ll don’t like fancy food. One of my ex’s still raves about my pancakes…friggin’ instant pancakes.

  • curlygirl

    You need the different lotions. No lie, I have different lotions for almost everybody part. Body oil for legs/but, cocoa butter for arms/chest, carol’s daughter sexy belly for obviously belly, dr. scholl’s lavendar cream for my feet, vaseline healthy skin and nails for my hands, as I type it out, it seems a little much. (closes laptop to make appointment with therapist)

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      CurlySue,

      There has to be some Black people in your family tree…I’m just saying with your lotion regime….

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      as long as you realize it.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      CurlySue is to be stricken from the record. Curlygirl, it is.

  • OhSoLuminous

    1. I hate pillows. I get nightmares and headaches when I have more than two pillows on my bed.

    • Breezy

      This is funny because although I love me some pillows for decorating purposes, I can not sleep with one. I have to lay FLAT on the bed in order to sleep comfortably. If I sleep with a pillow I wake up feeling like a pretzel.

      • Nikki

        I have to sleep flat too. My BF has a bunch of pillows on his bed, I have to move them off so I can sleep flat, he doesn’t get it but I go right to sleep.

        Still need a pillow under my knees or between them depending on the position..sigh..

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