****edit, wednesday 12:00pm****
watch as “our favorite cp3″ plays a principle role in the first ever wnba bench clearing brawl. we couldn’t be more proud
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uhnxUbUi_nM
****end of edit****
there are a few guarantees in life, with “death”, “doritoe stains”, and “getting the roof of your mouth burned by microwaved french bread pizza” obviously being among them.
for the champ, since i’m basically a human garbage disposal when it comes to food, i can guarantee that at least two or three times a day, i will be extremely hungry. this isn’t your normal hunger, or even your grandmothers hunger, but an all-encompassing hyenaesque condition caused by the fact that my metabolism is faster than tyson gay. sh*t, at the moment I’m writing this I’m extremely hungry, and when you finally read this I will probably be extremely hungry then too.
what the champ usually looks like when he's hungry
now, if I happen to be out and about while I’m in one of these hungry spells, there’s a chance that I might happen to walk past somebody eating a whopper or one of those neat little wrap thingys from bruegger’s bagels. naturally, my first instinct when seeing that will be to snatch the food from the person’s hand, push them down, and run away eating and cackling, fulfilling my unrelenting hunger.
thing is, because i’m a human being, and i’m aware of little things like “laws” and “social mores” and “prisons” and i’ve seen shows like “Oz” that remind me of why i don’t want to go to prison, i just walk by, ignoring my natural instincts.
my point is that being a human is predicated on doing a lot of unnatural shit. wearing clothes, using toasters, buying books, watching “Girlfriends”, visiting outrageously popular weblogs co-founded by colloquial pittsburgers…basically everything we consciously do is unnatural, and it’s idiotic to compare our sexual selves to other species in the animal kingdom who lack the ability to reason on a high level.
the idea that human monogamy is wrong because its unnatural is at best misguided, and at worst dangerously imbecilic. belief in this suggests that we shouldn’t be held completely accountable for any sexual misdeed short of rape, a completely immature way of understanding our human selves.
“i cheated? so the hell what. you think tigers dont be trying to bone all the other tiger bitches in the jungle?? growl, growl, bitch. growl, growl!!!”
maybe it’s not natural for an animal to commit to just one sexual partner (and, btw, there are numerous species in the animal kingdom who practice monogamy. strangely enough, the reasons for this usually comes down to getting used to the smell of their mates shit), but a human being should know that it’s safer, healthier, and usually makes for a better environment to raise children.
now, am i suggesting that every one needs to run out and discontinue their unmonogamous ways, burning black books and putting entire 12 (wo)man rosters on waivers? hell no. (sh*t, i’m not, lol) just like college, wnba basketball, and mormon pu**y, monogamy isn’t always for everyone, and i understand that. all i’m saying is that the “monogamy is completely synthetic” argument is stupid as hell, and lazier than shaq’s mouth
now, excuse me while i forage for some grub.
—the champ
ok!! seems that i’m the first to step to the plate!! first of all, i have had this conversation with many about how monogamy is an unnatural behavior formed by societal rules in order to control the lives of others! not saying that i’m parading around as a polygamist, but i do say it is unnatural for the fact tha we, as humans are attracted to a variety of people!! now, i am whole hearted in the belief that cheating is wrong, if you made a commitment to someone to be with that one (i keep my word no matter what)!! but the thing is that we were instilled with the notion to procreate with those that can insure that our lineage will survive throughout the ages!! we look for the best of the best and the highest of the high to get down with, not the opposite!! but whether it is right or wrong has to do with societal norms and cultural mores thats forced upon us!!
It doesn’t really seem like the point there was “society says it’s right, so it’s right”, but rather “there are reasons why monogamy is the preferred practice in human society, and some are quite practical”. He finished his essay with a bit about how monogamy isn’t for everyone, and your response seems kind of based on the idea he was trying to “convert” you, rather than put down an overly simplistic argument. Whatever you feel about monogamy, “monogamy is unnatural” IS an overly simplistic argument, just as almost all “____ is unnatural arguments” are overly simplistic arguments.
i’m not saying he is trying to convert you, me or anyone else, nor am i saying that there is anything wrong with monogamy!! like he said, monogamy is the preferred practice in human society but only due to such things as fear, institutionalizations, etc. in today’s society and in our culture, assuming that you live in one of the more modernized and industrialized countries where one of the three major religions are practiced (and there is a correlation), we have been taught that this is the proper and correct way to live, ignoring our natural urges and submitting ourselves to our mate (singular)!! but in many countries where these aren’t key factors, you have polygamy being practiced because that was the tradition; that was the norm!! again, i am NOT saying that we are right because we have stepped out of the sahara and onto the concrete jungle or because we aren’t running around in loin cloths and barefooted, but i won’t say that those who practiced polygamy are wrong in their ways either!! if we were truly a monogamous creature, there would be no need to date around!! we would have smelled the scent of our significant others and have been right by their sides no matter what!! we wouldn’t turn our heads every time an attractive man or woman crossed our paths!! we wouldn’t have fantasies about persons other than our mates!! we choose to be monogamous because it is what is practiced in our respective cultures (again, assuming that you are in a culture that practices monogamy, which is a safe bet)!! it is simplistic to say that monogamy is the only way to be!! i can say that it is the safest way to be in society today, if you care about your life and health!!
once again, i never said that it is wrong or right, yet it is a cultural and societal creation to keep and maintain order!! just look at marriage and divorce!! created by man to create order and maintain rule over society!! divorce didn’t come about until a king, unhappy with the catholic rule which didn’t allow for divorces and with his then wife, established the protestant church!! the rule was the dissolution of marriage could only happen when and only when a spouse died….and usually only when it was the wife has passed!! what is natural and unnatural is relative to what your beliefs and your moral standards are!! as for me, i am whole heartedly monogamous!! i only have sexual intercourse with one woman at a time!! i wasn’t blessed with a mutated gene causing me to have two phallus affording me the opportunity to have two women simultaneously!! plus, i only date one woman at a time!! do you know how much grief and strife you all cause?? i don’t like going through hardships with one woman, let alone 3!!
Yo Moses started the divorce thing. And Jesus said you could cold get out of a marriage for infadelity too.
Back to the topic Jesus didn’t say anything about polygamy though.
Yo Moses started the divorce thing. And Jesus said you could cold get out of a marriage for infadelity too.
Back to the topic Jesus didn’t say anything about polygamy though.
And about being multi phallused. I sometimes have this reoccuring dream where… Okay it started when I was a lil kid. In the dream I was covered in plugs and she was covered in sockets & we rolled around on each other plugging in. That was how it started who would have known it would keep coming back in diff. forms.
“And about being multi phallused. I sometimes have this reoccuring dream where… Okay it started when “I was a lil kid. In the dream I was covered in plugs and she was covered in sockets & we rolled around on each other plugging in.”
…………
I know Champ. It freaks me out too. What was going on w/ my lil subconcious @ such a young age?
“I know Champ. It freaks me out too. What was going on w/ my lil subconcious @ such a young age?”
shit, i’m jealous actually. the only sexual dreams i had as a kid was about playing hide in go seek with rudy huxtable
Wow….you really have some vivid dreams, lmao! What do you eat before you go to sleep?
must have been a stolen twinkie. Curse that creamy filling. Creapy thing is I think I was like 4 5 years old. When the dream comes back there aren’t as many plugs n sockets.
um. that was kind of his point. well, that and the fact that the “it’s unnatural” argument is the lazy way out.
well, show me how it is natural!!
Derek Zoolander: So join now, ’cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there’s more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?
classic
okay, i’ll show you how it is natural: we’ve got this higher-mental-capacity-thing that allows us to develop societies that are a little more organized and a little more complicated than “see hole, insert dick.”
so, i’ll make the argument that creating societies with complex rules and hierarchies is what humans naturally do. ergo, “monogamy,” is “natural” because it’s one of our “rules.”
Dolphins and mice are smart too
see: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
“so, i’ll make the argument that creating societies with complex rules and hierarchies is what humans naturally do. ergo, “monogamy,” is “natural” because it’s one of our “rules.””
hmmm…interesting take and shit
we’ve got this higher-mental-capacity-thing that allows us to develop societies that are a little more organized and a little more complicated than “see hole, insert dick.”
@ TIFF-eriffic! you are a fuggin genius!
“so, i’ll make the argument that creating societies with complex rules and hierarchies is what humans naturally do. ergo, “monogamy,” is “natural” because it’s one of our “rules.””
Welllll! To true. I didn’t see this when I wrote my comment; couldn’t agree more.
Tiff, sup luv.
Tiff makes a motion and ForReal seconds:
“so, i’ll make the argument that creating societies with complex rules and hierarchies is what humans naturally do. ergo, “monogamy,” is “natural” because it’s one of our “rules.”
this may be a fallacious argument.
If making rules is natural for human beings does that really make every rule a human makes “natural?” (i.e. monogamy)
Q: which is more telling: (generally and across the board, nothing specifically to do with momogamy) what people say or what a people do?
engage me… (not atrimony either LOL!)
sorry to be the bearer of bad news but most societies that built civilization as we know it were not monogamous. Including and not limited to the native peoples on all continents
Desire is natural.
So is jealousy, possessiveness, anger, rage.
oh. and hey. while we’re at it, so are crabs.
The human capacity to feel and to reason make arguments like these quite obsolete. Monogamy might not be everybody’s truth but I’ve known men who were more ready to settle down and make family’s than 1950′s house wives.
don, I think you should read up a bit on your science too. There is an article about finding mates (and hence love) based on voice, smell, height and other instinctual cues that pokes holes straight through your 10,000 word essay.
I can send it to you if you’d like.
‘oh. and hey. while we’re at it, so are crabs.’
i’d pay someone 52 dollars to rock a “crabs are natural” t-shirt, and an extra 27 dollars if they spend all day scratching themselves
i’d pay someone 52 dollars to rock a “crabs are natural” t-shirt, and an extra 27 dollars if they spend all day scratching themselves
@CHAMP…gas is high as giraffae snatch…I drive an SUV…where do I sign?? (scratch, giggle, scratch)
i’d pay someone 52 dollars to rock a “crabs are natural” t-shirt, and an extra 27 dollars if they spend all day scratching themselves
I’m a cancer and I have natural hair so this could work. Get my $52 ready!!!!
Now that extra $27—I’m let you keep that…lol
“I’m a cancer and I have natural hair so this could work”
*chuckling*
i was responding to what she said about what champ said!!! its probably the same article i gave my kids to read!! did it come from JAMA or IJBS??
gettem Giovanni the Don. salute!
“monogamy is an unnatural behavior formed by societal rules in order to control the lives of others!”
Don, this theory sounds like it came from someone who likes to have his cake, ice-cream and pie and throw in a few cup-cakes too. (Blame it on The Champ for me using the food analogy…smile).
nope…it just is what it is!! i hate sweets and i’m lactose intolerant as well!!
“nope…it just is what it is!! i hate sweets and i’m lactose intolerant as well!!”
i’m lactose intolerant too, but i just dont give a f*ck
“i’m lactose intolerant too, but i just dont give a f*ck”
what the hell made this so funny to me?
Monogamy may not be for everyone but neither is polygamy in the sense that it was meant. Coming from a country where I see it all around, it’s intention is. In the old times if you were wealthy yes, and it still happens now. But the main purpose was because society valued it’s children and families, all the kids accepted that they had many mothers who were as involved in raising you as your mother and your dad was also involved in raising all of you. Ideally if the mother’s had any drama it was solved between them and not involving the kids. As there was a firm social structure in place to help sort out differences and maintain a level of fairness. Hell one of my workmates professes that he is a polygamist in and out and yes he believes in fairness……… I guess whatever rocks your boat……… However as humans sometimes we want it all and we don’t want to take responsibility for the things we do even though at the time we really really want to do themcantthinkaboutanythingelse. For me it just comes down to knowing where we stand and the consequences of our actions. Polygamy was destroyed by all those men, who would ‘marry/ live with a woman ( can be classified as a customary marriage in Kenya) and then bizounce and next thing you know he married someone else in church and left you in a lurch, plus those women ( golddiggers )who will do everything in their power to get a baller pretend to be okay with being wife no.2,3, 4, and then proceed to evict previous tenants. Hell you knew what you were getting into………… so why play dirty?As for those who say they believe in monogamy then summarily play, cheat, forget they are in a relationship……….. just kick them out or if you lived in Kenya you could sue them for promising to marry you then proceed to clean them out…………… Sorry fellas it doesn’t work the other way;-) Nevertheless either way relationships are complex and everyone has what works for them from the swinging types to the till death………… I’m still figuring out where I fall……..
“Monogamy may not be for everyone but neither is polygamy in the sense that it was meant.”
its funny. alot of guys dont realize this but polygamy is the absolute worst social construct for men. i addressed this in the comments here a month or so ago, but i just felt the need to reiterate
I have an Indonesian friend whose great-grandfather had ten wives. By all accounts, this did not spell good things for him. She phrases this as “pussy-whipped times ten”.
You watch Girlfriends? thats messed up
@ deviant~~~i have to agree with you!! i had to watch 2.75 episodes which were completely unfunny and slightly horrible!! 2 of course were with the girl i was dating at the time, and the other was because i was too lazy to get up and change the channel manually when the batteries of the remote died!! i did get up and change the batteries during the 3rd commercial break which allowed me the ability to surf the channels like i normally do during the nip/tuck, the shield, and entourage off season!! hell, the new show “wipeout” has been giving me plenty of entertainment on tuesday nights until my shows come back!!
I love the big balls…that ish kills me everytime.
HA HA HA!!! I HAVE GOT TO BE ON IT FOR NEXT SEASON!!! I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT ACROSS THE BIG BALLS!!!
I give props to anyone who even attempts that show. The commentators are equally evil as well.
john and john henson….they crack me up!! it’s a shame that i remember their names!!!
john anderson and john henson!! They are going to talk about my @$$ badly!!
I’m gonna talk about you too. LOL
that show is pretty horrible…I get lazy too but I can always get motivated enough to change the channel or leave the roon when that show is on.
“I love the big balls”
“I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT ACROSS THE BIG BALLS!!!”
T shirt anyone?
you know what, i have watched a few episodes, one, because the show isn’t terrible and also because its very difficult for me to figure out who’s the most physically attractive woman on the show, so i watch to form “yay-nay” arguments in my head.
actually, thats a lie. its not a question for me. its persia white. i just feel bad admitting that because it makes it seem like i’m colorstruck, lol.
everytime i watch that show i feel like its a social experiment on attractiveness, casting 4 somewhat equally attractive black women of different shades, making the lightest skinned one a tad more atttractive than the rest, and seeing who would actually admit that.
ok yeah I get that but I find them annoying so I cant do my research for too long. And they dont show enough ass shots. How can you have a show with four black women and not throw a bone to the males that may be watching? Where is the Soul Train cameraman when you need him? Is it bad that I demand camerashots of ass? I think not.
All that @ss Joan got and you missed it???
I didnt miss it Im saying they dont show it enough
Persia is easily the prettiest girl on the show.
Hands down.
I agree, but Lynn came into her looks on the show as the seasons progressed. Now William’s wife? Ever since she came on the show, she’s had me open.
i don’t know if her breasts are really saggy or they just put her in an unfortunate bathing suit, but there was one episode in the hot tub when she was first dating william where they just did not do that woman right! pretty face though.
See, i think Maya (Golden) is really pretty.
Cute face, but she has the body of a 12-year-old boy…not a good look.
LOL..she’s a little small, i’ll give you that!
“Cute face, but she has the body of a 12-year-old boy…not a good look”
Ouch!
they can all get it.
Not Joan. I would have to be pretty drunk for that.
Really??? She was always kinda hot to me, in that bohemian/metropolitan/corporate girl type of look she had going…she has slacked off lately though. Now she kinda reminds me of my 1st grade teacher back in the day.
joan would actually be the first one out of that crew to get it, mainly because of the ass and the fact that she looks like the type to cry when she c*ms
Wow…
……………
Someone needs to pray with that left hand again.
damn…i wasn’t ready lol
Oh wow, ok…….
…what, lol?
some women just have that look, and she’s one of them
you’re not the first person ive met thats into that sorta thing.
LMAO Champ.
I’m glad that you realizes it was persia that made you watch it!! she was worth the 3/4 of an episode!!
Girlfriends didn’t actually start out bad. When it first started it was entertaining and serviceable. Basically the shit was competent. However (and I wrote about this somewhere), it seems like they weren’t prepared for a contract extension on the show and were granted additional seasons that they had NO f*cking clue what to do with so the show got increasingly stupid and ridiculous to where it was borderline embarassing…
Joan as Spiderman in her home hanging from the ceiling, anyone?? get.the.f*ck.out.of.here.
It’s not their fault, they wrote the perfect 2-season show.
As far as the chicks go, I don’t find any of them to be that attractive, Persia White included. She’s only hot b/c the others aren’t. Kind of an addition-by-subtraction thing…or better yet, it’s positive because it’s not negative.
“it seems like they weren’t prepared for a contract extension on the show and were granted additional seasons that they had NO f*cking clue what to do with so the show”
theres a few shows that are guilty of this, with “twin peaks” being the all-time most flagrant
Unfortunately I think this is whats going to happen to one of my favorite shows “Heroes”
I guess you don’t like dark skin women
“I guess you don’t like dark skin women”
i like all shades of black women. its just that, imo, the lighter skinned leads on girlfriends are more attractive than the darker-skinned ones.
now, if either theresa, “i took the best red carpet picture of all-time *http://www.jsrpages.co.uk/scansr/randle/Theresa%20Randle1v.jpg*” randle, kenya moore, taral hicks, robinne lee, bria myles, tatyana ali, or ananda lewis were cast as leads on that show, than i’d be singing a different tune
oh, and how could i forget maia campbell (well, at least before she became a crackhead)
Sorry I was replying to Panama. He said he didn’t think any of them were attractive. I’m like not even the one with the lips?
Oh and me and Bria Myles will be getting married soon. She just has to meet me and its over.
it has nothing to do with dark skinned women. it has to do with those particular women on that show…of which i dont think any are attractive. i mean, they’re all, okay, but none of them would make me do a double take.
and i love all women. i’ve dated all over the colored spectrum, quite successfully and happily.
them chicks on that show…just not hot.
Ok thats fair. To each his own, when I first saw girlfriends (in passing, i never sat down to tune in or anything like that) I was like Kanye asking bout “the dark skinneded one”. Some things just ain’t what you find hot. I know thats how I am about Jennifer Aniston (an opinion which almost got me fired, but thats another story for another day)
@ Dorian
your post should start…”How Jennifer Aniston almost got me fired”
‘Oh and me and Bria Myles will be getting married soon. She just has to meet me and its over.’
fine. take her…as long as i still get to marry her ass.
i heard her ass looks like a bag of rocks. beware the airbrushing.
Nah one of my boys works for a photography company that she has done work with in the past. He said its as good as advertised in person. And she’s mad cool. He said unlike some of the others you actually feel like you might have a shot with this one. Then again she’s been my “favorite” for a while now so he could have just said this to keep my schoolboy dreams alive.
well i know someone who has seen it too and he said she has enough cellulite to be a turn-off, but i guess thats his opinion… once i saw deelishis come outside without her belly makeup on and her tummy is very flat but her skin looks like an onion, i have forever given up on magazine photography. its all an illusion.
i guess i should stop now before i get rotten tomatoes thrown at me.
Wow, that Theresa Randle pic is spectacular…Carry on! Thanks, Champ
“She’s only hot b/c the others aren’t. Kind of an addition-by-subtraction thing…or better yet, it’s positive because it’s not negative.”
just pulled up a cast picture and i have to agree with you!! its like picking a 5 out of a sea of 2′s and 3′s!! when your options are limited then you take the best of the rest!!
jump the shark much?
http://www.jumptheshark.com/
I’m about to age myself. Remember when fonzie jumped the shark on Happy Days…well all TV shows have their jump the shark moments, you know that moment where it reaches its peak and doesnt know where to go
Am I one of the only black women who’s never really watched/cared much for the show? I tried a couple of times…couldn’t get into it and turned it after like 15 minutes.
I liked the show at first, but they should have cancelled it after Toni left the show. It wasn’t the same without her. I like The Game better.
I concur, Leila…. I loved Toni.
The Game on the other hand it was a little slow for me to get into however since the dumping of Derwin I have been hooked!
The Game–that’s my junk right there.
I’m not a huge Girlfriends fan, I only watched when I had nothing else to watch.
Now SATC–that’s my junk for real!!! I’m even waiting on the sequel to the movie.
I was like that with SATC at first…then I watched an episode, got hooked, and it was a wrap. Girlfriends…naw, just couldn’t do it.
The Game is THAT bizness!!
nope, I’m in the “don’t get it” club, too.
but I loved SATC. smh
well, the show was a Kelsey Grammer creation!!
The Game is a Kelsey Grammer show too, and it doesn’t suck.
not an excuse..lol
No, you are definitely not.
Couldn’t follow it. A show has to do more than cast people who look like me to entice me. I found it a tad vapid and somewhat too stereotypical for me to care…
So you’re an OZ fan too?
Monogamy—yeah it could happen.
OZ was a great show but there were some aspects of the show I could’ve gone without seeing. Adebisi was a ruthless bastard tho. He gave a dude AIDS by pricking him with a needle. Just evil.
It was an evil show. I have a couple of seasons on DVD. There was plenty that I could have gone without seeing especially the…you know…
Like Champ says—it’s reminded me to stay on the “straight and narrow” many times.
no one wants to go to pound-me-in-the-ass prison
Never a good look.
i watched more than a few episodes, but i could never really get into it because its a bit too melodramatic for me. oh, and the anal rapes made it tough for me to stomach too. yup. melodrama and anal rape
the manlove didnt bother you cause I found that a lil diffucult to watch dudes making out
I found that difficult myself.
I think all potential criminals should be forced to watch the entire series of Oz as a method of “scared straight” or some such shit.
If prison is one iota of what happens there i don’t need or want no parts of that shit.
Jail…is that bullshit.
T-Shirt! shout to Panama. i see ya.
Jail, is that bullshit!
not sure i want to wear it but… jail is certainly that bullshit. i’m not fuc*ing with it!
LOL!!!!!!!!
cosign on “Jail.. is that Bullshit ” as a t-shirt quote
“I think all potential criminals should be forced to watch the entire series of Oz as a method of “scared straight” or some such shit.”
And “American Me”
the prison and rape scene in that movie are the reason I have only been able to watch that movie once
And “American Me”
Oh snap!!! I forgot about this movie.
That scene was brutal.
Champ I am soooo glad you posted this.
And even more ecstatic that you stated “and it’s idiotic to compare our sexual selves to other species in the animal kingdom who lack the ability to reason on a high level.”
I get so freaking tired of people trying to justify traitorous activities by comparing themselves to untamed and uncivilized beast. I mean really, is that how you want to be tagged? With the intelligence and scruples of a ravenous brute?
Why does the need to connect with every thing one is attracted to only apply to sexual lust? Those very same people manage to find a way to refrain from…let’s say…compulsive buying.
‘Champ I am soooo glad you posted this. ‘
thank you. i’m so glad i could make you glad and shit
“and it’s idiotic to compare our sexual selves to other species in the animal kingdom who lack the ability to reason on a high level.”
yep. not to mention that if you wanted to make that comparison, we could be here all day with a list of species that *do* practice monogamy — lifelong monogamy. (there are natural examples of masturbation, homosexuality and bisexuality too, actually.)
“Why does the need to connect with every thing one is attracted to only apply to sexual lust? Those very same people manage to find a way to refrain from…let’s say…compulsive buying.”
Exactly.
Raq, for the record khan doesn’t think he could stomach being in an open relationship where my woman partner can sleep with another man. i’m just not there yet but…
Compulsive behavior is behavior which a person does “compulsively”, i.e., not because he enjoys it but because he feels he “has to”. The two most common forms are:
obsessive-compulsive disorder – obsessive, distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions which attempt to neutralize the obsessions
drug addiction – a condition where a person takes a drug compulsively, despite potential harm to themselves, or their desire to stop
your statement and a lot of the posts here seems to presume:
1.) outside of monogamy that there HAS to exist some negative extreme that often includes deceit (treasonous, traiterous, ravenous, unintelligent and brute like behavior)
2.) the examples provided in the definition above seem to suggest that there are other common examples of compulsive behavior which you and ForReal perhaps did not think of.
say word.
for the record khan doesn’t think he could stomach being in an open relationship where my woman partner can sleep with another man. i’m just not there yet but…
but you could be in an open relationship wher eyou can tip out at will huh?… lol…
Goody queries the khan: “but you could be in an open relationship wher eyou can tip out at will huh?… lol…
A: perhaps……LOL!
“growl, growl, bitch. growl, growl!!!”
LMBO!!! Why must VSB try to get me fired on a daily basis?! lol
@MIMI ~ I was thinking the same thing…lol…and my theory is…since they are VerySmartBrothas, they have a cause adn effect plan of action…they figure, if they get us fired, they can hire us on full time to handle the day to day operations of the VSB merchandising department! promote from within!
***pleading the fif***
I say to each his/her own. If you like it, I love it (for you that is).
My sister has this phrase that she says and I LOVE!
“It’s mind over matter. If you don’t mind, then it sure doesn’t matter”
Works everytime.
Champs’ thesis:
“the idea that human monogamy is wrong because its unnatural is at best misguided, and at worst dangerously imbecilic.”
Collaterally he deduces: “basically everything we consciously do is unnatural…”
Champ reasons:
“…but a human being should know that [monogamy] it’s safer, healthier, and usually makes for a better environment to raise children.”
It follows:
…therefore monogamy being better than it’s alternative/s
Champ takes his turn as provocateur: “all i’m saying is that the “monogamy is completely synthetic” argument is stupid as hell, and lazier than shaq’s mouth.”
Yes, we can reasonably assume by evidence of animals who don’t think at the level of humans [like penguins and others] that monogamy is natural for some animals however the majority of animals are not monogamous. …but is it natural for humans? …or is monogamy a synthetic practice for humans?
those who believe that monogamy may not be natural for human beings (like myself) don’t think that monogamy doesn’t serve a practical purpose that benefits us in some ways. natural doesn’t always mean that something will automatically benefit us directly and immediately. however i do believe in most cases that natural is the program that best benefits/supports our entire ecosystem. unfortunately most of us don’t know or care to know what the natural way is. …and there are many motivations for this selective apathy. (or selfish motivation)
the idea that human monogamy is right or better is subjective. better for whom? Champ meets the status quo requirement for a persuasive paper by saying he doesn’t suggest that everybody run out and discontinue their monogamous ways [if they ever really had them] and “…monogamy isn’t always for everyone, and i [Champ] understand that.” (1 recognition of the opposing view, requirement met)
well sir whatever is ideal, right, wrong, better, worse, practical, natural, unnatural, accepted, condoned, moral, accountable etc. doesn’t always represent the facts on the ground. what’s happening on the ground is:
behavior can’t be legislated.
and
a successful marriage/relationship (defined as sticktuitivity) can often hinge on living in mutual denial of infidelity.
The longer a couple is together the more likely that some sexual indiscretion has happened or is happening in most relationships.
Khans’ thesis: sexual nature has proven to be stronger and more persistent than our conscious efforts, reasoning or will to moralize and legislate sexual behavior.
These sir I submit to you are the facts on the ground.
Reporting live from ground zero, this is General Khan, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Back to you Champ
“Khans’ thesis: sexual nature has proven to be stronger and more persistent than our conscious efforts, reasoning or will to moralize and legislate sexual behavior. ”
i completely disagree with this.
basically what you’re saying is that the little head will ultimately have more control over us than the big head. i see what youre saying about sexual urges and nature…this is uncontrollable. you know, off-topic, thats an argument many people make about pedophiles…that they cant be truly rehabilitated because they will always have the urge to parking lot pimp at chuck e cheese.
thing is, although we cant control our urges or thoughts, we have complete control over whether or not we choose to act on them, which makes our ability to reason stronger than any thought or urge that we might have
“they will always have the urge to parking lot pimp at chuck e cheese.”
you are so wrong for that. and yet this was too funny.
it’s funny in the way only really messed up statements can be…meaning it had me CTFU and feeling bad at the same time.
duly noted.
..but if we are talking about monogamy being natural for human realtionships or not then what’s how we decide to act on sexual urges got to do with the price of meth in kansas? [and do we presume that acting on those urges HAS to necessarily be hurtful in some way]
the facts on the ground are that people f**k around more times than they remain committed to 1 piece of… perhaps you don’t buy that? not perhaps, you already said you did not. better take a good sniff around.
i’m not making a case for what’s right or wrong or what’s better or worse. i THOUGHT the issue was whether or not monogamy was natural FOR HUMANS. secondary: which is better or worse FOR HUMANS? (monogamy or its alternative/s)
in fact my point attempts to show that wherever you fall on the aforementioned issue, the fact is what the MAJORITY of couples (married or no) have done, are doing is fuc*ing around REGARDLESS of what is condoned, legislated, moral, better for human relationship etc.
this is what i see, this is what the numbers bear out. the other considerations are ancillary, subjective and prone to rationalization. that, i believe is what is happening in real time.
monogamy FOR HUMAN animals may be unnatural considering the facts on the ground. …or maybe not but does natural have to be good bad or ugly? you decide.
“i THOUGHT the issue was whether or not monogamy was natural FOR HUMANS”
See, i don’t think that’s the issue at all. The issue as I see it is that of all of the things we do, natural or unnatural, the ‘nature’ issue is only/more often than not brought out for monogamy, and making that the basis and premise of EVERY discussion on monogamy is lazy at best, and, based on the conversation, completely irrelevant at worst. That’s what I got from Champ’s post, but of course he can speak for himself
meant to say: ‘completely irrelevant/incorrect at worst’ Damn this not being able to give VSB my undivided attention!
“That’s what I got from Champ’s post, but of course he can speak for himself”
youre dong fine, lol. you can continue to speak for me
“The issue as I see it is that of all of the things we do, natural or unnatural, the ‘nature’ issue is only/more often than not brought out for monogamy…”
oh ForReal?
cause i thought going Green was becoming more than a marginlized underground minority movement with no link or concern to what’s natural.
silly me…
umm..okay Genius
thing is, although we cant control our urges or thoughts, we have complete control over whether or not we choose to act on them, which makes our ability to reason stronger than any thought or urge that we might have
damn that smart ass relevant psycho-speak makes me exhale…mm mmm mmm…fuggin awesome!!! and not only am I absolutely stimulated by this response…I also completely agree!!!
VSB = yummy!
“damn that smart ass relevant psycho-speak makes me exhale…mm mmm mmm…fuggin awesome!!! and not only am I absolutely stimulated by this response…I also completely agree!!!
VSB = yummy!”
lol…someones trying to get brownie points to stay out of the corner.
its working, btw
@CHAMP ~ you know what? I haven’t been in the corner in a minute, like two weeks…I should get some kind of “most improved” certificate or something…lol
and you KNOW my attractions are cerebral…I think most of my VSB(aby daddies) spout that knowledge to make me thump…just a theory…LM(red)AO
“VSB(aby daddies) ” LMMFAO!!!!
@GOODEN
I love you girl!
@ G(to the)K
behavior can’t be legislated. ~ true and very “deep”
natural doesn’t always mean that something will automatically benefit us directly and immediately. ~ unfortunately, the prevelant connotation of the “M” word is that it will benefit in the long run in terms of stability for the family structure, STS free intercourse…etc…but the immediate benefits of “settling down” parallel that of just “settling”…
a successful marriage/relationship (defined as sticktuitivity) can often hinge on living in mutual denial of infidelity. ~ or the acceptance of infidelity…i don’t think it’s unrealistic to expect fidelity…I am perfectly capable of it…so I don’t assume others are not…being attracted to people outside your relationship dynamic is natural, but acting on them is what separates the chosen from the frozen…and if you can’t resist the temptation of Persia White…there’s always the “3some”…
@Champ, thank you for this “essay”…I have come to thte conclusion that…monogamy needs a PR department….
“being attracted to people outside your relationship dynamic is natural, but acting on them is what separates the chosen from the frozen”
There it is (again). Everyone will be straight if they choose to partner with people who feel the way they do on the issue, the ‘chosen’ as Goody would say
monogamy needs a P.R. Dept.
Goody u funny….. LOL!
monogamy is dying a hard death among humans whether they cop to it or not. (in terms of acceptability) …whether the alternatives to monogamy remain taboo or not. whether screwing around is ever accepted behavior or not. it only takes 1 deviation (Deev’s) to negate the premise of monogamy between couples. i can here someone saying it doesn’t necessarily. well you tell your husband, wife, bf or gf that: hey i’ve been faithful to you more days than not.
heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whoooo!
I see you on the 1 Deev. But low and behold they don’t stop trying(to marry and be monogomous). And if all it takes is a majority doing somethein for it to be concidered natural. I mean suicide is up in Japan does that mean there won’t be a wii 2. Then fahk going green cuz we been bustin up the world for a lil while now. After all “the marriage bed cannot be defiled”
But low and behold they don’t stop trying(to marry and be monogomous).
first of all…WuDa…who is “they”??…
secondly, my stance is moreso that those that choose monogamy seek those that choose the same…or at least they enter into a relationship thinking they have found a like minded individual…or maybe the cheater just fooled the cheatee, who knows?…all I am saying is…monogamy is like religion…you should be with someone that mirrors and appreciates your belief system…(shrugging) the BS comes in when people play monogamous and really aren’t…therefore creating the perception that actual one/one-non-cheaters exist, a monogamy is “unnatural”…the premise that true monogamy is an urban legend makes me sad…not because I have anything close to that dynamic…but it’s like when you found out the Sugar Hill Gang was just a rudimentary, hip hop themed “boy band” that didn’t really write “Rapper’s Delight” themselves…just really fuggin sad…
“but it’s like when you found out the Sugar Hill Gang was just a rudimentary, hip hop themed “boy band” that didn’t really write “Rapper’s Delight” themselves…just really fuggin sad…”
wait, WTF? is that true?
**sad face
man come on w/ a name like jBOOGIE how you not gonna know that? whiskey tango foxtrot
whiskey tango foxtrot
BAHAHAHHAH!!!!!
@JBoogie…yes mama…it’s true…they were a group of dudes that didn’t even know each other…they were put together by Sugar Hill Records…and…(sigh) I can’t even finish typing it…it’s too much…just google it…
PS – I feel bad that I told you something you didn’t already know…like when your drunk uncle Boom Boom tells you there’s no Santa Claus at the family Christmas party so you will have a fit and forget about the last slice of sweet potato pie…(sniff, sniff) my bad BOOGIE…my bad…
whiskey tango foxtrot
@WuDa…I am going to start saying this…I love random inside jokes…well, only when I’m on the inside…lol…but it’s still HILARIOUS!
can I tell you that I am in denial about this so bad that I forget this fact so that each time someone points it out to me I relive the disappointment, its like starring in 50 first bad dates!
Aight I was responding to GK’s response to your comment. The they people in western society. Where I agree w/ your stance on the issue. I don’t w/ GK going on what a great majority does makes it natural. Adam and Eve did it Natural. I was saying that old argument your parents told you when you come to them w/ the bandwagon/peer pressure story “everybody is doing it.” If everybody jumps off of the bridge you gonna do that too.
**lonely tear drop (I’m still not over the Sugar Hill Gang)**
No worries Rock Da Bells is more than gonna make up for it this weekend WOOHOO (they better do scenario)
yeah yeah yeah I don’t wanna read about it! I can’t go to RTB this year…BUT I got my VIP ticket to the Little Brother/Strange Fruit Project/ Big Daddy Kane show (8/2)…AND I already have a sponsor for the Nas/Kweli show (8/26)!!! August is gonna be a good month!!!
I’m gonna see Nas next month too. He’s here on (8/24) and Dwele will be here on 8/31. Oh yes ma’am!!!
***mouth gaped open. giving you some serious green eye** That sound like that what it do. I think I’mma make Toronto’s Caribana happen again.
@WuDa…you make me SICK!! lol…Caribana?? DAMMIT I will be in Texas doing nada..now I am pouting….
ok I am mad at both of you
RTB is this weekend here too, and I am not going since the person I was going to go with I had to throw back into the fishing pond
and Caribana, I was supposed to go with some friends but due to some unexpected things coming up that is not going to happen either
I’m hating you right now!
“but it’s like when you found out the Sugar Hill Gang was just a rudimentary, hip hop themed “boy band” that didn’t really write “Rapper’s Delight” themselves…just really fuggin sad…”
LOL!
I mean, I was sad because (a) WTH and (b) i don’t know i missed that little tidbit right there…but i think i preferred my ignorance more…oh well…c’est la vie
WuDaMan : “…Then fahk going green cuz we been bustin up the world for a lil while now. After all “the marriage bed cannot be defiled”
heh heh heh (inhale) whooo!
such sarcasm in your tone sir. LOL!
suicides up in Japan, will we get the next edition of the Wii….
stop it, stop it. LOL!
“Monogamy needs a PR Department”.
I am getting that t-shirt.
GK: “a successful marriage/relationship (defined as sticktuitivity) can often hinge on living in mutual denial of infidelity.
The longer a couple is together the more likely that some sexual indiscretion has happened or is happening in most relationships”
As much as I hate to admit that this is true, I honestly believe that it is. Maybe Im a bit jaded about the subject considering that I have seen the destruction that cheating causes first-hand, but I dont think that any marriage has gone without a single case of infidelity by either party. Especailly in todays day and age. It just doesn’t happen.
Did anyone hear the news that Will Smith and Jada are married swingers? Supposedly he confirms the gossip in an upcoming magazine interview. I still haven’t made sense of that lifestyle but I am wondering if thats really the way to go?
“but I dont think that any marriage has gone without a single case of infidelity by either party”
dom, my homie “pessimistic” called, and asked why you’re going around and stealing her steez.
Like I said I hate to admit it but thats the truth. I dont think people want to admit it or the guilty party wants to own up to it, but it happens.
Im not saying that cheating is/isnt grounds for dismissal but I do think its a very REAL problem that alot of people have to deal with in terms of relationships. Its just up to the individuals to decide where the line is crossed.
For some it might be cheating at all sexually, for others it might be forming an emotional connection outside of the couple (speaking of Girlfriends did you see the one where Mya was “emotionally cheating” with Stan from her office? Damn near ended her marriage), I think everyone has a different line.
We should stop placing so much value on the fact that our other half is completely ours.
“Like I said I hate to admit it but thats the truth. ”
thing is, dom, you can’t say “every” just because the marriages you’re personally aware of have been shitty. some spouses are faithful and some aren’t. you can just paint them all with one broad ass stroke
Whoa whoa, I didnt say “every”, I said dont think that any marriage has gone without a single case of infidelity by either party. That said, dont attemt to nullify my argument on a technicality!
Thats my opinion. I know plenty of married people who seem to have good working marriages, partnerships, loving relationships with their spouses and children. They’re not “shitty”marriages at all, just ones where one spouse may have dipped out.
I personally know that I could be faithful to one man for the rest of my life. I know that before I even get to that point. But I think that monogamy is a very real issue that has to be adressed in alot of marriages.
I cant say for sure how many of the marriages I see have an indiscretion and thats really not my business(I think thats really up to the two people in the marriage to deal with) but I think people need to think a HELL of a lot more outside the box for when issues like this do arise so they’re not so caught off guard.
To sum it up, IMO marriage+cheating DOESNT = bad marriage. Just one where two people have to work a little harder to satisfy eachother if they really want to be together.
Whoa whoa, I didnt say “every”, I said dont think that any marriage has gone without a single case of infidelity by either party. That said, dont attemt to nullify my argument on a technicality!
any..every…to-may-toe..to-mah-toe…but real talk…if you define infidelity as something you don’t think you could tell your mate about and retain them as your mate…then I will begrudgungly agree…emotional cheating is just as bad (if not worse) that sticking and moving…inmy mind…the worse part of the shit is the lying and duplicity…not the actual act…if I had the choice to deal with it..you know I would opt out…so your selfish ass chose to keep me in the dark on the shit and fuck a broad you had me thinking was your cousin…oh…wait…ummm….ok….had a flashback…
(inhale…exhale…wooooo..saaaaaaah)
but the lying is worse than the fucking to me…I’m just saying…
“Whoa whoa, I didnt say “every”, I said dont think that any marriage has gone without a single case of infidelity by either party.”
in this case “any” and “every” are the exact same thing.
you do make a couple valid points though
We should stop placing so much value on the fact that our other half is completely ours.
really? you think so? I can understand them not being completely yours in the context of family, friends, work obligations…but romanticallly?
I repeat, if committment ain’t your bag..then pass on it…but if you’re going to do it…GO HARD…or GO HOME!…
if we acquiesce to the idea of a mate NOT being completely ours romantically…then why even be committed? the entire paradigm of monogamy is undermined by that thought…makes it a mute “rule”…if your SO can build similar eros/philos based bonds with others (physical/metaphysical) within the context of your relationship…than your shit just aint that special…and at some point, we all want to feel special…it’s unrealistic to expect their life to revolve around you…there are other VIPs…family, close friends, etc….but I better damn sure want to be the VIP of the VIP section…ya know?
I guess I just think a little differently.
I can understand wanting to be the VIP of the VIP section, I can dig it. I want that too. But I just feel like realistically people do so much changing that just cuz you’re the VIP of the VIP section in 2008 doesnt mean that you’ll still be in 2056. That would be nice, its sweet, its an endearing thought and something I think we should all aspire to.
But I also think that at some point we have to ask ourselves if one piece of ass is really worth breaking up a marriage/relationship over? What if there are kids involved? Assets? IDK, I guess it all just comes down to the people involved and how much they’re willing to put up with.
What if there are kids involved?
as a product of that stay together for the kids movement…I will respectfully call BULLSH*T!!! it doesn’t do anything for the kids if the issue isn’t really resolved between parents…it’s an ugly, messy dynamic that takes strength of character, honest self evaluation and maybe some therapy to overcome…trust me on that!
I will respectfully call BULLSH*T!!! it doesn’t do anything for the kids if the issue isn’t really resolved between parents…
Okay Goody, I totally agree with you on that. Stay together for the kids is BS. But we, especially black families, need to stop looking at cheating as a damn get out of jail free card. Im not saying stay holed up with a triflin mo fo who keeps cheating on and disrespecting you, but work it out and get past that ish!
And youre right, the lying is much worse. Thats disrespect to your face as opposed to lying behind your back. They’re both bad but shit!
“But we, especially black families, need to stop looking at cheating as a damn get out of jail free card.”
i think we need to start throwing the cheating card out of the deck completely. i mean, i can’t fathom ever being able to feel the same way about my wife again after finding out that she got her back broke by TNN (the next n*gga).
i think that we just need to do better, seriously. we (black people) let too much faulty behavior slide without holding cats accountable. cheating is just one of many examples of this
I agree on the accountability…but I disagree that this is a uniquely Black issue…occasionally it irks me when race is inserted into a discussion about socio-moral decline…I know trifling folks of every race…so aside from that detail…aashuddaboughtahonda!!!
“…but I disagree that this is a uniquely Black issue…occasionally it irks me when race is inserted into a discussion about socio-moral decline”
i include it because, realisticially speaking, these types of problems have more of a negative effect on our community than america as a whole
Dom says: “We should stop placing so much value on the fact that our other half is completely ours.”
Dom this is what people are having a hard time dealing with particularly sexually. …and yep people have to deal with sex outside marriage because it’s happening at an alarming rate regardless of what societal constructs try to dictate.
infidelity shouldn’t necessarily destroy “commited” relationships yet more often than not [when found out] it does. part of that problem may be how we are conditioned and taught to ostracize it.
tell you the truth i’m having a tough time reconciling my feelngs about fidelity and infidelity in relationships as it relates to how it affects supposedly “commited relationships”. however pretending like infidelity is not the norm [and growing] or that some other consrtuct is out and out wrong is not the answer.
See, I personally monogamy boils down to three things; (a) how badly you want to hit/smash the object of your desire; (b) if you think you can do it without getting caught; and (c) if the act of stepping outside is worth it if you get caught. If you think about it and the risk doesn’t seem worth it, you will. If you think you slick enough to get down, then monogamy is moot. Most people ain’t thinking about whether it’s natural or unnatural or whatnot, IMO.
tru dat…it’s all about risk vs reward…classic investment strategy…I think that the ambiuity and confusion come in when non-monogamy minded individuals (for whatever unknown reason) commit to monogamy minded folks…and cheat…
Will and Jada are a trip to me. There was one interview a while back where Jada talked about how she knew she was gonna marry Will, kept an “altar” with his picture on it in her apartment back in the day, meditated on drawing him to her, etc. So anything coming out of either of their mouths…pure hilarity for me.
For some reason I believe she actually did that….
that is bananas…but the bottom line is…it works for them because they are like minded on the subject…
Good sh*t, Champ, good sh*t! This line here especially slayed me: “growl, growl, bitch…”
But no, on the real, I get MAD tired of people justifying their “impulses” by saying it’s because it’s “unnatural” to be monogamous, etc. IMO…being able to use higher reasoning(i.e. “I probably shouldn’t screw every woman I like raw, then come home to my girl and pass something I catch along to her” ) is what SEPARATES us from certain animal species. Polygamy is not bad, in and of itself, but in many cultures where it was/is practiced and condoned, there are strict rules about it. Men can’t just be taking wives all willy nilly.
With all that said, in THIS culture, it has been shown that monogamy has a great number of benefits, especially in relation to general health and child rearing (if that’s part of the equation). If monogamy ain’t your cup of tea, cool, fine, do you…but have the decency to get somebody that feels the same. To do otherwise is just unkosher and selfish…and karma is a bish lol.
“Good sh*t, Champ, good sh*t! This line here especially slayed me: “growl, growl, bitch…””
thanks and shit
If monogamy ain’t your cup of tea, cool, fine, do you…but have the decency to get somebody that feels the same. To do otherwise is just unkosher and selfish…and karma is a bish lol.
@JBoogie…(Katt Williams impression) this sh*t right here ni99a!
I had this conversation with a homeboy of mine… we were discussing Will and Jada’s marriage… and the fact that Will is admitting that it’s open pretty much like 7-11. He said that this was the ideal marriage because men DON’T know how to be monogamous and he thinks it’s human nature to want more….
“I had this conversation with a homeboy of mine… we were discussing Will and Jada’s marriage… and the fact that Will is admitting that it’s open pretty much like 7-11. He said that this was the ideal marriage because men DON’T know how to be monogamous and he thinks it’s human nature to want more….”
see, if he just changes “men dont know how…” to “i dont know how”, then his argument works
LOL…. but what’s the thoughts on that marriage (Will & Jada) anyway, because its seems to be working…. I couldn’t do it and that may be due to my PK (preacher’s kid) status… but I definitely would not be sharing my man, wanting to know my man is boning another chick, or would be boning another man when I have a man at home that I have vows with…. and I know those vows didnt include “until the next best thing..”
Open marriage my azz.
If you want an open marriage you need to stay single.
I would hafta Wayne Brady him and her.
LOL @ miss t-lee! What’s the Wayne Brady?
@ Bougie1…lol
http://youtube.com/watch?v=auNwBl14Vqc
OK!! THAT WAS THE MOST HILARIOUS ISHT
*plays the tambourine*
Um, hello…WTF was the purpose of getting married then?
I think is more like “I don’t want OR need to find out how”.
I agree that monogamy is a social construct and I think a couple should be free to engage is whatever type of relationship they want if they’re both in agreement.
“a couple should be free to engage is whatever type of relationship they want if they’re both in agreement.”
I agree. It’s not about whether it works for me, but whether or not it works for BOTH of them. Who cares what I think if i’m not in it?
Yet another reason to be real with folks, so you can get someone who thinks the way you do on crucial and important issues like monogomy.
“I agree that monogamy is a social construct and I think a couple should be free to engage is whatever type of relationship they want if they’re both in agreement”
i agree. the key point here though is “if they’re both in agreement”
I know this will and Jada interview everyone is talking about, but maybe i didn’t here the same thing. What i got from it was if will see an attractive woman and he’s ‘feeling’ her, Jada has to approve. But, in terms of things working the other way around he ‘didn’t know what he would do’ if Jada came at him like that. So to me, that’s not truly an open marriage, it’s the same old ‘I can do it but you can’t’ b.s.
hear, not here.
ForReal. ok thats how the interview went Will can if Jada approves on a case by case basis. more than i thought he could pull off with her. …but yeah it’s that same ol males getting preferential treatment surrounding sleeping around outside of relationships. just like many other animals which i’m sure you take exception to as well although not directly affected.
just curious do you also take exception to daddy getting the “big piece of chicken” why why why?
you hate this male dominated world huh? LOL! …or maybe until its time for a woman to get preferential treatment. men opening doors, paying majority of the bills in most marriages/partnerships/dating sityos etc. when the ship is sinking, when it’s time to dig that ditch, cut down that tree, fight that war,
heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooooo!
laugh girl you know what it is….
still LOL!
LOL..Genius you are funny. I didn’t say anything about taking exception to will and jada’s relationship, the animal kingdom or High School Musical 2- i just said that will and jada’s relationship is not an example of an open marriage, cause only one person has the ‘opening’. My point is that it’s really the same old thing, nothing new or unique. And for the record, as long as my hunger is satisfied, he can have the ‘big piece of chicken’ if that’s what it takes to make him happy
i just said that will and jada’s relationship is not an example of an open marriage, cause only one person has the ‘opening’.
ECK-fuggin-ZACKTLY!! what they got is consensual-extra-marital-affair-ness…and Jada is the bomb..he would be sh*tting bricks if she came at him with somthing like that…plus…ummmm…I don’t think Will is just boning women…(shrugging) I’m going to do a littlee work now…speak easy!
Was they on Oprah saying that stuff? I think I remember an episode where they were on there and he said she approves of him having a crush for a year and nothing about them acting on said crush. But that was years ago.
dam i didn’t know Will copped to he and Jada having an open marriage. me and my homey talk about having a “hollywood marriage”
you know wife and baby up with out the marriage certificate and or fidelity in many cases. if you do get the papers make surre to get the pre-nup which is becoming more and more prevelant amongst the commoners.
Andre 3000 sings “Hollywood Divorce”
I love that song genius!
Maybe an issue is using the word unnatural, i think the word to best describe the act of monogamy for some people is “unreasonable”.
cosign.
“Maybe an issue is using the word unnatural, i think the word to best describe the act of monogamy for some people is “unreasonable”.”
i agree with this. if you’re anti-monogamy, and think its just stupid…fine, lol. just dont use nature as the basis for your argument
Agreed.
“If you’re anti-monogamy, and think its just stupid…fine, lol. just dont use nature as the basis for your argument.”
That pretty much sums it up!
i can agree with that!!
“all i’m saying is that the “monogamy is completely synthetic” argument is stupid as hell, and lazier than shaq’s mouth”
There it is. I agree with every word you said Champ. There isn’t much we do in a civilized society that’s ‘natural’ ( sitting in front of this screen typing isn’t natural) so why is monogomy the only example that people trot out on a daily basis as an attempt to justify b.s.?
And if I was feeling some type of way I’d take it a step further and say our most innate and ‘natural’ instinct is to survive, so whatever we do to get that done, like creating societies and rules to live by, is the most natural shit of all.
It’s not the only example that is trotted out.
Q: Why do you sit at home all day playing video games? Man you should go out and get a job.
A: Woman, in the serengeti, the lioness is the one that hunts for her lion. In fact, a good lion eventually has several lionesses who hunt and feed him for the sole pleasure of getting boned. . . and being protected if some other predator or lion trys to muscle in on his action. . . that’s why I had to shut down that cashier at the cornerstore the other day. . .that young cub doesn’t know who he’s messing with!
Q: Man, why you always want to have kinky sex with handcuffs chained to the ceiling fan and shit?
A: Girl, don’t you think monkeys have sex hanging upside down from tree branches? You know that they’re choking each other with their tails to enhance the experience. Now get over here and back that thing up.
Q: Man, you’re talking like a white boy.
A: Chika, don’t you know that there are birds that mimic (I believe that might even be their name) the sounds of other predators so that they stay safe. Or predators that mimic sounds of their prey to get close. Now, my beautiful nubian princess, could you please tap the shoulder of that white she-devil for me
LOL!!!!
kamakula: “…tap the shoulder of that she devil for me.”
khan ina whispered tone: heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whoooooo!
lol…this was funny
word life that was hilarious
hysterically laughing over here!!
kamukula….you are a hot ass mess….this was the BOMB!
“so why is monogomy the only example that people trot out on a daily basis as an attempt to justify b.s.?”
to sound intelligent when justifying boning as many people as possible
So true Champ. But the thing is there is no intelligent way to justify the animalistic behavior of sexing up everybody. It is what separates us from being pink booty baboons.
“pink booty baboons.”
i was gonna make a porn joke here, but i enjoy the fact that our site is still work safe
Please bring on the completely inappropriate comments, they make my day!!
not throwing feces is what separates us from baboons
I dont know deviant, i think I’ve seen that on that disgusting 2 girls one cup video
I think you are right about that Peaches. The urges to eat breath sleep and have sex come from our primordial brain. Heck the orgasm is a reflex so is arrousal. And where do reflexes come from your spine. Nope doesn’t take any higher education for that. Seems like city slickers miss life in the jungle.
Champ I got a few “naturals” for ya since people want to do what’s natural.
Should I give into the urge to slap the crap out of my son when he angers me being that was my very first thought therefore making it unnatural not to do so?
Should I go in my truck and pull out a tire iron and beat an idiotfoolidiot to a mush for cutting me off in traffic and almost making me crash into the median wall being that was my very first instinct therefore making it unnatural not to do so?
Should I stab my boss in the throat with a lead pencil the next time he asks me for a report that I have already given him 3 times but he doesn’t remember where he laid it those other times being that was my very first instinct therefore making it unnatural not to do so?
Should I go up a start smashing 9 items of the customer with 19 items who rammed my cart to get in front me in the 10 items or less lane being that was my very first instinct therefore making it unnatural not to do so?
I could go on. But I do hope the cynicism in my comments shine clearly thru however not so much that the point to show just because it feels natural doesn’t make it the right thing to do get lost.
“Should I go up a start smashing 9 items of the customer with 19 items who rammed my cart to get in front me in the 10 items or less lane being that was my very first instinct therefore making it unnatural not to do so?”
its perfectly acceptable to beat the shit out of anyone that does this. thats community service
“its perfectly acceptable to beat the shit out of anyone that does this. thats community service”
ahhhhh ha ha ha ha ha .
colonel h. stinkmeaner III
ANARCHY!!!
None of the systems work for everyone all of the time, not without tremendous social pressure
- Long term monogamy/marriage – both partners get bored and frustrated, and have to constantly work on the relationship. Our elders had it easy, because divorce wasn’t an option. 2 beds, 2 bedrooms, one stepping out and the other turning a blind eye – those were the options.
- Polyamory/polygyny/polygamy/polyandry – Sounds great, until you have actually do it in practice. Assuming you can get the scheduling right, if you were born in our “monogamy is right” society – that socialization will constantly mess with you – internally and externally.
If you were born in a polygamous set…well we see how the Jeffers turned out.
- Player for Life – cool @ 22, 25, 28…….but you don’t want to be the old creepy guy/cougar @ the bar, or worse yet, by yourself EVERY night. Lying to yourself on some, “I’m working on me”.
Serial Monogamy? Every 2-5 years, people find themselves out of a relationship, having to relearn the dating process. Texting, speed dating, facebook, twitter… Didn’t I already do this 5 partners ago?
Monogamy seems to be the best option, based on natural selection – not because it’s such a normal thing to build a life with one and only one person.
You’re responses already show that you’re socialized to accept monogamy. That’s how western society has evolved. If you look at Africa or the middle east, polygamy is a lot more prevalent and doesn’t seem to suffer as much from the relationship problems we see here.
“That’s how western society has evolved. If you look at Africa or the middle east, polygamy is a lot more prevalent and doesn’t seem to suffer as much from the relationship problems we see here.”
could that be b/c the role of the woman is much more marginalized than it is here?
i mean how can you have relationship problems when the other person in the relationship isn’t actually ALLOWED to have problems?
i mean how can you have relationship problems when the other person in the relationship isn’t actually ALLOWED to have problems?
We really can’t compare things here in the US to how things go in a developing country. Especially with how women are treated more as property than as an equal partner. They have no say so in the realationship, men call the shots, therefore men can have as many partners as they want.
There is no comparison.
Say it miss t-lee. This idea of ‘love’ in marriage is relatively new and pretty western. In a majority of developing societies, love, fulfillment and happiness ain’t got a thing to do with why people enter into a marriage…we’re talking apples and oranges.
i disagree, i think in this instance you can. his statement said that other societies don’t suffer from the same relationship problems we have, which implies that western relationships have more drama. and to me that’s because women are able to speak up and out in regards to the problems.
hell, i just read an article where 10 year old girls in some country are often sold into marriage with the understanding that they wont be touched until they’re 18 but many are raped, etc. shit, if you have no voice, that doesnt mean problems don’t exist, it just means you can’t voice them.
plus, that’s to say that women are completely content in other countries with the roles they play in the marriage and i’m positive that’s not always the case. some women are bc that’s “god’s” way, but there are many women who’d like equal treatment, but they can’t b/c the society doesn’t operate like that. they still have problems…there’s just not voice for them. and no voice is allowed to exist for them. women are subjugated to a 2nd class role.
“i mean how can you have relationship problems when the other person in the relationship isn’t actually ALLOWED to have problems?”
you took the words out of my mouth.
and, ummmm, obscene hiv rates, female circumcision, suicide bombers (which are directly correlated to polygamy, might i add)…
…these aren’t relationship problems, lol?
Indeed, it is western society.
- we have monogamy
- we have romantic love
- we have significant women’s rights
There are a whole bunch of different things about the “typical” western society that work against multi-partner marriage.
And if you look @ birth rates, pretty much everywhere in the “1st world”, they are declining.
“If you look at Africa or the middle east, polygamy is a lot more prevalent and doesn’t seem to suffer as much from the relationship problems we see here.”
As an African woman, I’d like to buffer this statement with the very necessary “not in Africa, but in SOME of Africa. Smaller portion than people think”. You may say I didn’t make much of a point but I am truly sick of people acting like Africa is one big country, and what goes in one place goes in another.
I’m Nigerian (Yoruba specifically), and no one I know practices polygamy. I also know a lot of Africans from other countries. I think it is pretty unfounded to say that practicing polygamy does not translate to the problems that a monogamous society experiences.
Ask the women in those polygamous relationships if they are okay with it. Of course the men are loving it, but the women have their voices cut off, and they cannot speak their pains. Pains they experience when they have to stick to a schedule to sleep with their husbands.
Really. . . perhaps I can see where you’re coming from. After all I’m Igbo and technically I don’t know anyone who practices polygamy.
It’s one of those things that’s only happens to a friends’s sister’s cousin’s step brother’s girlfriend’s uncle. Kinda like any story you hear about juju.
Well, I’m Kenyan and hate to say it but every time a politician dies you have wives appearing from the woodwork. With families and children. There are those women who actually advocate for it but my thinking is that it is just a cloak for men who want to play and not be asked questions. It still is thought of as a sign of wealth by some of them who got stuck in the last century. Either way it goes both ways……….. some women don’t mind being number two as long as they get their bills paid but that’s only because they have someone else servicing them when the Big Man is not around. It’s like a circus anytime these rich guys pass with the women fighting over the property, where to bury him etc. I just sit back and watch it’s worse than a soap!!!!!!
I think the animalistic intent argument is valid … just not in this case. I do feel if your getting good and regular sex from your significant other … than these “animal urges” will be extinguished.
Really … thinking about it … the reasons for cheating are usually more complex and elaborate than the “I needed new puss” argument.
But come one man … wearing clothes is unnatural? Fashion … yes. Not letting my nuts freeze … no. lol
“I do feel if your getting good and regular sex from your significant other … than these “animal urges” will be extinguished. Really … thinking about it … the reasons for cheating are usually more complex and elaborate than the “I needed new puss” argument.”
Nope…wanting new puss is exactly the reason
Nope.
Nekkid came I into the world….
I likes being nekkid. My husband likes me being nekkid also. That’s why bedroom doors have locks so you can be “natural”.
bedroom doors? how about house doors. I’m all about being natural in all the spaces of my domicile.
“But come one man … wearing clothes is unnatural? Fashion … yes. Not letting my nuts freeze … no. lol”
lol, i used a bit of hyperbole there, but you get my point
Wearing clothes is unnatural…but since I’m socialized to do such…so be it lol.
monogamy – the practice or condition of having a single sexual partner during a period of time [mating season for some animals] or lifetime [humans].
So essentially what you are saying by your comment is that none of us are monogamous…because as humans, clearly we have had more than one sexual partner in our lifetime.
no i’m not saying that “…none of us are monogamous…because as humans, clearly we have had more than one sexual partner in our lifetime.”
i am saying there most relationships have shouldered infidelity at some time or another and the longer people are together the more probable. i am also saying that alternatives to monogamy don’t necessarily have to an wholly negative and opposite extreme like examples i’ve read today. (i.e. polygamy, or being alone, or chasing dick around like baboons and screwing anything and everybody you can or raping and pillaging or generally being acutely irresponsible. you might say: well anything more than monogamy is irresponsible. i don’t know maybe you can tell me about that.
“well anything more than monogamy is irresponsible”
I wouldn’t say that…as long as you hadn’t signed up for it. It’s not about the extremes as much as it’s about the agreeded upon terms. There really are not any excuses, being human as one of them, for not honoring the level of commitment both parties agreed to. Essentially you can have it any way you want as long as you both agree to it, just be prepared for all the emotions that go along with it.
I’m putting together an order of crimson ‘I HEART The Champ’ baby-tees. Anyone else wanna order one? The more we order, the cheaper they are.
i’ll take one in medium
lol…shit, i want one too
yep, i’ll take one
I’ll take one in medium…it’s for my cousin.
oh yeah…I want one…but mama needs to see the sizing chart for the vendor…lol…I can’t put the all this into just anybody’s baby tee, suga….ha!
I need one in an XSmall. Pre-shrunken unnecessary.
as much as i want to disagree with this…and i really do want too though i’m not sure why ( it’s probably b/c i do recognize that monogamy – and marriage for that matter – are completely counter to human nature and instinct)…i just can’t. there is something wrong with justifying cheating under the auspices of it not being natural.
thing is though, very rarelyis there any reason to justify cheating. and i’ve never actually heard anybody make this argument in all seriousness to justify their waywardd*ckness, but more as some fauxdeep ass psychobabble on the human condition and our acceptance of man-made societal rules and shit.
and i’m almost sure (though i’m sure somebody will tell me its happened to them…shit that should never happen to anybody tends to have a way of happening to people here) that very very very few actual people have used this as an excuse when they get busted for cheating. that sh*t right there??
stab-a-ni**a lingo.
i just can’t. there is something wrong with justifying cheating under the auspices of it not being natural
::applause::
for the record khan can’t quite swallow the thought of his woman sleeping with other men but…
cheating – a deception for profit to yourself.
no deception no cheating.
do the knowledge.
@ Panam-o-bippy…I have had the debate..and heard “monogamy is unnatural” spat about as commonly as “ya heard me” us in the South…but never to me…
stab-a-ni**a lingo.
indeed…in(fuggin)deed…
SPOILER ALERT!
if you’re a tight ass and can’t laugh at urself DONT READ this, it’s jokes. (which also are best with the element of truth)
excerpt by Dick Masterson for men:
The odds of a marriage working aren’t 50/50, they’re six billion to one. As far as I can tell, John McCain is the only happily married man in history. Are you married to a beer heiress who you also cheated on and she’s cool with it? Then you’re not a happily married man.
Marriage is a daily string of embarrassing compromise, miscommunication, and punctuated only by divine moments of fiscal responsibility.
Go to Vegas and bet your house, your car, your friends, and any pu**y you’ll be getting for the next seven years on Black. If you can do that, you’re ready to get married.
Get a maid, a butler, a babysitter, and a chef. It’s cheaper in the long run.
Jesus Didn’t Do it.
The answer to, “What would Jesus Do?” Is that he wouldn’t get married. Jesus did not get married, and he didn’t get married for one very good reason:
He had shit to do.
And even if you say Jesus hooked up with “zero” chicks, that’s still just as many as your average married man.
Marriage is a Business
Never make a business decision based on emotions.
You don’t sign a lease on a dare. You don’t buy a used car because the dealer calls you cheap. You don’t race Needles because he calls you a chicken.
You don’t get married because you feel like you’re in love.
Do not do it now. Do not do it later. Do not do it for looks. Do not do it for money. Do not do it for sex. Do not do it because people want you to. Do not do it because a woman wants you to. Do not do it because The Bible says to do it. Do not do it to have children. Do not do it for tax purposes. And especially — the most important reason of all reasons every thrown into a reason oven and baked on Man degrees for a day and a half — do not get fucking married for love!
Sweet mother of the Holy Saint Aretha, high priestess!! Marriage is business. The reason they fail is because people marry people they wouldn’t start a business with.
The way I see it, prior to marriage, we are two separate corporations. In order for us to marry, the books have to look good on both of our ends. I’m not merging my company with yours just because you have some hot stationary and swanky offices (LOVE). I’ve been in love, Love, LOVE, and LUH before. But I wouldn’t merge my company with most of theirs. It was bad business.
Wanda Sykes once said that marriage is a business. The product is kids (productive members given to society). If your companies can’t get together and produce a product, then you shouldn’t merge. No bail outs because someone ends up getting screwed, unhappy, in jail, and committing something questionably labeled ‘suicide’–in other words, DIVORCED.
I agree with you Hostess… I have always said that about Marriage….
Mergers and Acquistions….
Agreed! Getting married JUST because you ‘love’ someone, not taking anything else into account, is the most short-sighted, piss poor, set up for failure thing I can imagine. I get why it happens that way, but it makes me sad for folks.
Like Tina said… What’s Love GOT TO DO WITH IT….
Love doesnt pay the bills, put food on the table, make sure we are prepared for a fab retirement….
It’s just a second hand emotion…
“Piss poor” is a phrase that ALWAYS makes me cackle
“Getting married JUST because you ‘love’ someone, not taking anything else into account, is the most short-sighted, piss poor, set up for failure thing I can imagine.”
i agree.
**Hosanna**
Truth right here. That’s why so many get divorced…that little four letter word. To quote the words of a wise woman…”what’s love got to do with it?”
“The answer to, “What would Jesus Do?” Is that he wouldn’t get married. Jesus did not get married, and he didn’t get married for one very good reason:
He had shit to do.”
lol…this is funny
“Even Jesus had shyt to do!”
I shall be adding this to my signature line.
DIck Masterson is a wise man
Don’t know if I agree with marriage as a business, but agree that it’s definitely more than love. I honestly struggle to find a comparable relationship between two people without being misleading. When I get asked “what its like”, I gotta tell folks: not like anything you’ve done or will ever do in your life!
Jesus Didn’t Do it.
The answer to, “What would Jesus Do?” Is that he wouldn’t get married. Jesus did not get married, and he didn’t get married for one very good reason:
He had shit to do.
@GK…babyluv…this made my day!!! WWJD….I LOVE IT!!!
Amen and Amen my brotha !
well stated, well stated
**snickering**
We touched on this the other day, but i really do believe in self-fulfilling prophecies. I, along with most of the people here based on the comments, can’t think of many (more than 2 or 3) examples of ‘good’ marriages. But that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Lots of happily married people are likely keeping it to themselves because they know about the human tendency to tear people down and hate on them when they have something you don’t.
If you don’t believe monogamy can work or that people can be faithful, then it won’t work for you and faithlessness will rule your world. You will seek out examples to back up the conclusion you’ve reached. And that’s fine and natural and normal- it’s what humans do in most situations.
But for the people that believe in it, be optimistic but not stupid. There is much merit to be found in learning about why people have chosen to be unfaithful in the past, why relationships have failed, so you can address those issues in your own life. You don’t know of any good marriages? Alright then, be the first to make it happen. As Ghandi (and GoodenNess) say, be the change you want to see in the world. If you wanna believe in monogomy and faithfullness, choose your partner wisely (ie, someone who is on the same page with you on this, not someone you have to work overtime to convince, cajole and plead with to believe) and do what you need to do to make it happen.
I know this is not directly related to Champ’s post (at all) but call this my random rant of the day.
“We touched on this the other day, but i really do believe in self-fulfilling prophecies. I, along with most of the people here based on the comments, can’t think of many (more than 2 or 3) examples of ‘good’ marriages. But that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Lots of happily married people are likely keeping it to themselves because they know about the human tendency to tear people down and hate on them when they have something you don’t.”
i hate when people use stats and percentages as a basis for why theyre anti marriage, because, if you just go by stats, i shouldnt have graduated from college, i should have played college basketball, i should have been incarcerated at least once, i should have 2 kids by now…
i could go on, but the main point i’m trying to convey is that you can’t let stats determine your own personal destiny.
Word. Preach.
“because they know about the human tendency to tear people down and hate on them when they have something you don’t.”
That’s because misery loves company.
I think what the Champ and others on this topic have wrong is the fact that when people (mostly men) state that “monogamy is unnatural” what they’re really saying is “i’m really selfish and i kinda just wanna smash something else”.
I feel that most people have no problem with a wife/girlfriend/parter, with all the conditioning we go through since we’re born its as much of our mental makeup as the desire to wear clothes. However humans, especially the ones living in 2008 are remarkably selfish. Let me give you a real world example:
My girlfriend is 5’4, kinky hair, dark skin, with a big booty. However sometimes I see a girl who’s 5’10, long silky hair, light skin, with a huge rack. Do I want to leave my girl for this new girl (no), do I think the new girl is more attractive than my girl (no), do I want to pull on that silky hair and stretch those legs out as far as they go (absolutely). Now like I said I have no intention of leaving my girlfriend, so its easier to scapegoat my selfishness by saying “yeah man monogamy isn’t even natural”.
Good Answer, Dorian.. u got a brother??
“I think what the Champ and others on this topic have wrong is the fact that when people (mostly men) state that “monogamy is unnatural” what they’re really saying is “i’m really selfish and i kinda just wanna smash something else”.”
wait…this is EXACTLY what i’m saying, lol
If so then I apologize. I interpreted your stance as you felt like people (mostly men) who said this actually believed what they were saying and you disagreed with them.
“If so then I apologize. I interpreted your stance as you felt like people (mostly men) who said this actually believed what they were saying and you disagreed with them.”
nah…i’m just saying that theyre using “nature” to intellectually justify what theyre doing
Champ is trumped by Dorian G. (but he lkes it) : “I think what the Champ and others on this topic have wrong is the fact that when people (mostly men) state that “monogamy is unnatural” what they’re really saying is “i’m really selfish and i kinda just wanna smash something else”.”
does this mean monogamy is NOT unnatural?
or do you just want to hear what you think is a better argument for infidelity as we have constructed it?
what i’m saying is whether its “natural’ or “unnatural” doesnt mean shit. if you think monogamy is unreasonable, fine…but dont use nature as your justification for your feelings
I don’t have a thesis or an article to justify what I’m about to say, but I don’t think monogamy is instinctively natural for men. Notice I said instinctively. The societal norms are what dictate what is “natural” for human beings. We’re not wild animals but
We were designed in such a way that would argue the idea that monogamy is unnatural for men. Women can get pregnant like once a year while a man can literally impregnate tens of thousands per year. All I’m saying is thank God for societal norms. But to say that monogamy is natural for a man is hard for me to swallow. Think about fight or flight- this is an example of something that is both natural AND excepted as a societal norm. again like I said before thank God for societal norms when it comes to monogamy. I just the next person I deal with actually listens to society’s norms…
Agreed. Our ability to discern is in fact what makes us human and at the top of the food chain (post pun intended). That and a posable thumb.
Is it really selfish to become tired of a particular person or situation and want a reprieve? How come marriage has to be a LIFELONG commitment/contract? There is no other arrangement in which we enter into where we are expected to commit to anything forever. Let alone a situation where the other party has the capacity to change terms of the agreement at will.
I understand that monogamy is good for society. However, we condemn people who pursue some “strange” and ridicule and call them names such as “selfish”, “cheaters”, etc…Yet, the pursuit of happiness is innate in all of us. Everyone of us likes to eat but none of us eat the same thing everyday. None of us drive the same car for our entire lives, or live in the same house, city, job. Life is dynamic. Marriage is even more dynamic. Monogamy is evil. Yeah, I said it and most of the single folk on here probably agree but just won’t allow themselves to say it out loud. Everyone loves to say, “I’m gonna get married when I find the “right one”. Bullshyte, you’re gonna get married when you are tired of being lonely, being pressured, being broke, out of batteries, broke your good hand, but not because you want to stop having sex with other people for the rest of your life.
I propose that all marriages beginning in 2009 (same time tv goes digital…wtf? all the shit they could have made industry do and they chose that?!) shall have a renewal clause every 3, 5, or 10 years. That way we can end this debate once and for all. The ones who want to be together forever won’t be forced into by some contract they entered into 22 years ago. I for one think it will increase marriage maybe even to 80 or 90 percent.
Well damn…you took my feelings on the subject so precise and exact that I am actually upset that you posted this. Cosign isnt even the word.
My grandma was just saying this yesterday! She said she thinks that marriages should be evaluated on performance and emotion every 20 years. Then, people can either choose to renew their vows or be out. She has been married to my grandfather for almost 50 years, and they survived five children!
I tend to disagree, mostly because I think its a little ridiculous and nearly impossible to carry out, but also because if you really are committed to one person then you should do EVERYTHING in your power to work the issues out. No matter if they’re cheating, broke, or suffering from equipment failure.
Plus, who wants to renew their vows at 20 years only to want to kill their SO after 22? Shoot, I’d be damned if I wait another 18 just to cancel their contract! Lol!
“Plus, who wants to renew their vows at 20 years only to want to kill their SO after 22? Shoot, I’d be damned if I wait another 18 just to cancel their contract! LOL”
That’s why I said every 3, 5 or 10 years. What’s really wrong with having an opt out option? I believe it would keep people motivated. You know how basketball players up their game in a contract year. Hell, we all would be keeping our game especially tight if we wanted to stay “on the team”. Then, maybe some of ya’ll folks would be justified in ridiculing the “strange seekers”. I think it’s the next wave of monogamy, if monogamy is to survive. “Contractual Marriages”
Hell, we all would be keeping our game especially tight if we wanted to stay “on the team”.
LOL! Thats true. I guess I just think the entire idea is valid but also very silly and far-fetched. Kinda like flying cars or some ish: they’d serve a purpose and clear uot traffic congestion but still seem a little outlandish.
“Contractual Marriages” (defined in a set # of years)
interesting. forward thinking. too abstract for the status quo. unique. creative. where’d u steal it? MUAHHH HA HA HA HA.
Dom speaking of equipment failure. i just saw on CNN or some natl news network that they have come up with a female viagra. interesting. i’ll see if i can find a link.
I already heard about it. I be up on the Evening News like every night son! I aint giving nobody a chance to call me a “hobyless ho…” : )
I used to work in a pharmacy for 4 years and you’d be surprised how many men are on Viagra and how many women are on anti-depressants. Come to think of it, I wonder if there is a correlation between the two…
Dom viagra is the newest recreational drug. mo fos getting prescriptions and shopping the black market and DO NOT have any impotency issues.
and are you saying that there might be a correlation between the stiffness that viagra causes and women becoming clinically depressed.
let’s see old wives are depressed cause daddy can getit up now and he aint letting her ride. LOL!
could that be it?
is that why sales of xanax and welbutrin are up?
LOL!
“The ones who want to be together forever won’t be forced into by some contract they entered into 22 years ago”
am i missing something? cant a person just get divorced if they want out? i dont know if i understand of going through a marriage inspection every 12 months like its an suv
Divorce has such a stigma and it’s difficult to complete (court is involved, lawyers involved, etc…) Women who get divorced are saddled w/ the title, “Divorcee”. Sounds so degrading. Why divorce at all? If it is meant to be then it can become a reason for women to have the multiple weddings they so enjoy.LOL! If it is not, the pair can part ways and just discuss how they are gonna take care of those kids they conceived. Also, when contract time is near it can be easier to end the relationship because one will have notice that a re-up is not in the cards.
I’m not saying contractual marriages won’t have their problems either all I’m saying is why be forced into a contract with very few outs?
“cant a person just get divorced if they want out?”
Well, the idea with the contractual marriage would be that both parties have an inkling that it’s coming, and are not completely dumbfounded by the news that the other wants out…
But it implies that one is willing to wait till say Year 3 if in Month 18 they find out they wanted out…
o.k champ you wanted a better argument for the non monogamous relationship. Aristocrat’s got it. readem and weep. the argument is neither molasses in the mouth or lazy in any sense. however i get the sense that this sharp argument is not what you or the passionate upholders of monogamy and fidelity, the highly sophisticated, moral majority, culturized and high reasoned masses of vsb who bemoan grunts and groans, human animalistic, pink bottomed baboonery, ferocious compulsive behavior REALLLLLLY WANT. now is it?
it’s not what you really want is it? admit it you’re simply making a case for what you believe is right. monogamy.
without further adieu i give thee Aristocrat!
excerpt:
“Life is dynamic. Marriage is even more dynamic. Monogamy is evil. Yeah, I said it and most of the single folk on here probably agree but just won’t allow themselves to say it out loud. Everyone loves to say, “I’m gonna get married when I find the “right one”. Bullshyte, you’re gonna get married when you are tired of being lonely, being ”
taze yourselves!
GK, I swear your discourse and responses remind me of a brother I know…you don’t happen to live in D.C. do ya lol?
J Boogz i don’t live in D.C. however i am there 3 to 4 times a yr. prince georges county, georgetown shopping and creeping, oxen hills maryland balling etc.
you probably don’t know me it just feels good like that. keep u posted ad maybe if you’re good, we can have a drink and laugh about it all. then tell me how it feels.
D’Angelo sings……
i dont know why i find this so funny. perhaps b/c in a crazy way, it makes so much sense to me it’s scary. after say 5 years, everybody got the chance to evaluate their place and shit…its insanely genius…
plus, if you know you can get out in 1 year, you might be less likely to cheat…just so you can rest easy on a good conscience. lol…
you should run for president on that shit.
aside: i just heard a 50 year old gentleman in my office say over the phone to somebody: “just put them on the glass”
i dont know who he’s talking to or what he’s talking about, but i started laughing outloud and i can’t tell anybody why. it’s both the happiest and saddest moment of my work life.
“aside: i just heard a 50 year old gentleman in my office say over the phone to somebody: “just put them on the glass”
this is one of those innocent phrases like “thats a hard one” that always emits a chuckle out of me
Common Law Marriages. No written contract. Period.
common law marriages are contracts by default without your signature. contractural nonetheless with all the litigiousness afforded by the law. i’s dotted, t’s crossed. Period.
better check our jurisdiction to see if it recognizes common law marriages. all you gotta do is co-habitate and its good as written on a contract.
16 states thaty currently acknowledge common law marriage
Alabama
New Hampshire ³
Colorado
Ohio 4
District of Columbia
Oklahoma5 (Okla. Stat. Ann. tit. 43, § 1)
Georgia¹
Pennsylvania9 (23 Penn. Cons. Stat. § 1103)
Idaho ²
Rhode Island
Iowa (Iowa Code Ann. §. 595.11)
South Carolina
Kansas 8
Texas 6 (Tex. Fam. Code Ann. § 2.401)
Montana (Mont. Code Ann. § 26-1-602, 40-1-403)
Utah7(Utah Code Ann.§ 30-1-4.5)
I was in a common law marriage for 10 years, it was harder to get out of my cell phone contract than my common law marriage.
The reason why its selfish and negatively looked upon is because when people step out they do it in a selfish manner. There’s nothing inherently wrong with getting some strange, its just that 99.99% of the population does it in the most unscruplous manner possible. Its not like you are on the phone with your wife like, “hey honey, is it cool if I go get some drinks with Brenda from accounting cuz I would like to get in her pants tonight”
Most people lie, creep, and do everything possible to not get found out, while all the while demanding complete loyalty and honestly from their partner. Sorry dude anyway you slice it, thats selfishness.
In theory, I am all for this marriage renewal option. In real life, this would never work!
I think one of the major drawbacks to this approach is that people would not be themselves. In 3 years, that representative would reappear. People would re-dedicate their lives to Jesus or be romatic again every 3, 5, or 20 years. Right around renewal time people would act a fool to get out or be an amazing to stay in…
And what happens if one person wants out and one wants to stay in…sounds like a world of trouble to me.
“And what happens if one person wants out and one wants to stay in”
Which is pretty much how 35% of marriages are now. Right?
OMG…this sounds like something I would have said when I was younger…right after my “who needs marriage, it’s just a meaningless contract” phase. Strangely, it makes sense…I don’t know that I’d support it…but it makes perfect sense. Course, I’d work it so I’d be the franchise player and stay with the same “team” until my “retirement”. Contract renewals would NEVER be an issue LOL.
I’m a woman, and I ain’t even mad at this. I think it is something worth looking at.
Great post once again:) Monogamy isn’t hard if you’re with the persono that you want to be. In my last relationship, I was with my ex for 7 years and I never cheated and never wanted to cheat. It’s easy to be tempted, but it’s easy to ignore. I have some friends that have cheated on their partners but they were the ones who settled when it came to love and are always still looking to meet the “one” even the ones who are married. Their relationships are unfilfilling and their unhappiness leads them to stray. I don’t think monogamy is easier for women than men either. Society just trains girls at a young age to think differently than guys about monogamy. I definitely think monogamy can be done…
“Monogamy isn’t hard if you’re with the persono that you want to be. ”
see…thats the thing. i think monogamy IS hard regardless of how into the person you are. you just have to make the decision whether or not to be monogamous
Thta may be true at first but things change over a period of years and decades. What if the person you married at 20 is a different person at 30? People change over time and wants and needs change along with the person. Why should a person remain miserable just so they can say “I haven’t been divorced?” That didn’t make sense in the fifties and it doesnt make sense now. The whole system needs revamping but I think the problem lies in how people see marriage. Most peoples beliefs wont allow for a redefining of marriage..just look at whats going on with gay rights and gay marriage. I know its not the same issue but the same group of douchebags will be up in arms about the rewriting of the terms of marriage.
I agree with you! I’m always telling people that marriage is outdated in its current definition. People especially women can’t believe that I say this but it’s true. This is the reason that I haven’t gotten married yet. I just don’t believe that I can agree to a lifelong contract on love. It doesn’t make sense to me.
I see ya edit on the CP brawl.
I just peeped that over at ESPN.
Niiice.
our favorite CP3 is a straight beast son. she gets gully…
I didn’t know she had it in her.
I was pleasantly suprised.
You think Leslie pulled a Divac? I think she was b.s.’in
hotdam Arisocrat i have spent the entire day blogging but your initial comment and relies have soooo made it worth it. supplying some theories i haven’t heard until now and right in the middle of this particular debate perfect timing. it is written in jade that the best writers are those that best conceal their sources. where in the hell did you develop this argument/theory. please point me to the parent text. (source)
I heard it some time ago. I think its something they do in Western Europe.
I actually thought about it seriously after I got married. (never heard of it or thought about it before) Then Louisiana was proposing instituting contractual marriages a couple of years ago and it spark a debate. They inevitably dropped the convo because of religious pressures from the conservatives. I have recently developed an entire thought process/thesis on the subject. Law school really made me realize it was not so far fetched and it could be implemented in the U.S. in no time flat.
First of all we could make it optional for those that wanted this type of arrangement over the conventional type.
Second, we already have the court mechanisms in place to enforce and regulate the laws. (Civil Courts, Family Law Courts, etc.)
Third, all we would have to do is provide the same rights and responsibilities that are now tied to regular marriages to the new improved marriages. It is a simple yet useful idea like solar powered cars and recording live tv.
I can see people not agreeing totally because of upbringing or religion but, to argue against would be like arguing against civil rights.
And to the person who advocated “common law marriages” those are NOT an option in some states, i.e. Texas.
And to the person who advocated “common law marriages” those are NOT an option in some states, i.e. Texas.
I’m sorry…are you saying they don’t exist here? because they do.
http://www.co.travis.tx.us/dro/common_law.asp
Common law IS recognized in TX…
When you married your wife, you discussed the opt – out theory? Or you save these mussings for the internet?
I didn’t even know about the opt out theory. If I had known I would have discussed it with her.
Correction: Yeah, TX does kinda recognize common law marriages. All you have to do is co-habitate, agree to be married AND hold out to others that you’re married.
Corto. Don’t shoot the messenger.
I saw a whole segment on the GMA or something devoted to the way the whole new marriage structure works.
1. You have your 1st marriage out of college (this is the child bearing relationship and probably worst relationship – where you get cheated on the most.)
2. You get divorced and re-married in you late 30′s to early 50′s.(this time you marry for the right reasons and have transitioned to actually liking yourself or either accepting yourself, etc)
3. You get divorced from this person or they might die during this marriage therefore many people re-marry in their 60-70′s and this is to be the final marriage.
“They” said that this was concerning most middle class families, because people are living longer and tying up the will money for their kids. & that now it is generally expected that most people will have 3 freaking marriages in their life time.
Disposable marriages. Instant Gratification. Failure to control your libido… all poo-poo in my book. Discipline rocks. And ponder this… If we are virgins at marriage and stay married then STD & STI’s would damn near cease to exist.
“And ponder this… If we are virgins at marriage and stay married then STD & STI’s would damn near cease to exist.”
And we can ALL live in Pleasantville with bouffant hairstyles while we do the Twist! Bringing up the issue of everyone being a virgin at marriage opens up Pandora’s Box completely (even Hope escaped).
Hmmm…very interesting. I take issue with many of the assumptions made here so let me play devil’s advocate here.
Part of the reason why we think monogamy is healthier is because society is structured around it. Kids grow up well-adjusted in these relationships mostly because they believe this is the “right” way to do things. Kids who grow up in other relationships have issues (largely) because there is conflict between what is taught and what is acceptable in the larger society.
I think its dangerous to assume that if one have two lovers that one can’t be a good father or a good mother. I think that statement is predicated on the belief that a conventional marriage is inherently more healthy than anything else. I think that’s just untrue.
I do think that a child needs to have male and female influences, but I don’t think it necessarily has to be in the form of a “marriage.”
Simply put – If we had some other relationships that were normalized to the same degree as conventional marriage, i think everything would more or less the same.
Kids would still grow up more or less well-adjusted because their home life wouldn’t be considered “deviant” or “abnormal” or “alternative”. It will just be.
The other argument I was making in comments a few posts ago was that I think there should be a distinction between sex and love. That there could be, for lack of a better term, open relationships wherein sexuality that is separate from the “marriage” is acknowledged. And an understanding that the sex is unrelated to the feelings of love between the primary partners.
Clearly, this only works if both people share similar views, it doesn’t work if imposed on one partner by another.
My overall point was really that sexuality is fluid and I believe love is too and if we acknowledge that more (in myriad ways), we might be happier. But the power of the Puritan is strong in America so I know that seems crazy or like “Tyler is a slut,” but just something to consider.