Michelle Obama Is The Best Thing About America » VSB

Featured, Race & Politics

Michelle Obama Is The Best Thing About America

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A few weeks from now, the country will decide if Donald Trump — a unabashed bigot, racist, misogynist, xenophobe, charlatan, and chickenhawk — will be our next President; the person we choose to be America’s representative to the rest of the world; essentially the most important motherfucker on Earth.

He will probably (hopefully) lose the election. And those hopes are based on polls indicating that he’ll receive roughly 45% of the vote (instead of 50 or 51) and that he’ll lose a few crucial battleground states. While those numbers are reassuring, they’re not particularly comforting. All they tell us is that we exist in a nation where forty five percent of the adults voting are either completely unbothered by his litany of fuckshit or (most likely) voting for him specifically because of it. Which ultimately means that almost half (half!) of the country wouldn’t terribly mind if we  — and “we” in this context are “Black and brown people, women who don’t look like Ivana or Melania, anyone who isn’t Christian, anyone who isn’t straight, and Lester Holt” — disappeared up the steps forever like Judy Winslow, never to be seen again. This isn’t just Trump’s America. It’s America’s America.

At the other end, of course, is Hillary Clinton; the Lisa Simpson of American politics; the human personification of an “Eh, I guess” emoji. These are our options. The world’s rapiest vat of cheese wiz or a person whose most effective campaign strategy is “Yeah, I’ve done and said some fucked up shit. But at least I’m not a vat of rapey cheese whiz. Vote for me and not the cheese whiz, please!”

But, if you’re feeling particularly down and dark about all of this; if 2016 has left you nearly devoid of hope and definitely depleted of fucks, remember that this is also the place that produced Michelle Obama. Watch her speech today (which starts at the 25 minute mark) and remember that she is our First Lady, and has been our First Lady for the last eight years. Know that the same land that grew Darth Cheeto somehow found a way to birth and cultivate her.

As we spend the next month stuck in the muck of the worst parts of America, be reminded that she, who she is and what she represents, is the best of it.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Mika

    I love me some Auntie Chelle.

  • Paul

    We should all live in a country where we vie for the approval of Michelle Obama, we’d be a better place and we’d definitely eat our vegetables. We might sneak a cigarette now and then, but we’d be embarrassed when she caught us and gave us that look: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l13AlHzLhs

    • TeeChantel

      I’ve incorporate more veggies in my diet because of Momma Chelle.

    • Courtney Wheeler

      The classic “You know we’re leaving their holiday party early?” look.

    • Blueberry01

      The fact that she didn’t turn all the way to face him, even though he hit her on the arm. ?


  • StillSuga

    I’m happy that Michelle Obama doesn’t have political (so far) ambitions. Being a politician would ruin what she gets to share with us, which is already filtered as a political spouse. So happy we have had her as our First Lady.

  • Mary Burrell

    She’s a treasure I love her as FLOTUS ?????

  • Yahmo Bethere

    disappeared up the steps forever like Judy Winslow

    Soooooooo are we going to acknowledge this or nah?

    • Well, there was Booty Talk 19, so…

      • Well…. there IS that…

        • brothaskeeper


      • Savage.

      • I was a little disturbed by that.

      • brothaskeeper


        • TeeChantel

          I googled too

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn


    • Duff Soviet Union

      I feel sorry for that girl. She was fired in pretty humiliating fashion and then her parents blew all her money. I’m not a p*rn watcher at all normally (seriously), but I’ve seen a couple of hers and it’s beyond obvious that she just didn’t want to be there at all. Hope she’s doing ok now.

  • Samantha

    My high school Constitution teacher was Jewish. He spoke a lot about German history, and just how easily the United States in the 1930s and 40s could have turned into Germany but with immigrants and Black people taking on the Jewish role. He emphasized just how easily a country could turn to fascism and that seeing history as a series of inevitable triumphs was the biggest mistake students of history could make. I wish his lessons weren’t so relevant.

    • Me

      I feel like so many history teachers are Jewish. At least a third of mine were growing up.

      • Jews are usually raised to be historians.

    • Brown Rose

      Exactly this. Trump illustrates how someone as stupid, narcissistic and incompetent as him was so easily able to roil up the racism. Without any real effort, because that is America–its part of the foundation.

    • HoneyRose

      I had a great high school history teacher as well who pointed out that the U.S. was actually going down that road int he 1920s and 1930s as well. We had eugenics; we had sanitariums; we had questionable pseudoscience aimed at “proving” the inferiority of certain groups here; we had lynchings and we had systematic ways of imprisoning and killing undesirables. The war was the only thing that “stopped” us, as it shone a light on the inevitable end of those practices.

      I also learned in a graduate history class that history is often presented as a straight diagonal line upwards – always progress, never going backwards. He emphasized that no, history isn’t like that – it’s much less linear, and we backtrack all the time.

      I’ve had some excellent history teachers. They were all white, too.

      • Blueberry01

        History was always presented as “circular” to me.

  • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

    First Lady Michelle Obama like usual gave a magnificent, eloquent speech. She is the greatest.

  • cyanic
  • MsKeisha23

    It is sad that she even has to make those kinds of statements in the year 2016…..that she could keep her composure and make those statements, is amazing. The first little quiver in her voice and I had to reach for my tissue…..January 20…..is gonna be a hurtin day. Matter o fact….let me put in for some time off to mourn right now….

    • I caught that too.
      Kinda gives you a lump.

  • grownandsexy2

    When Trump’s name was thrown into the ring, I thought, they can’t be serious. But then, living in, growing up, and knowing America, it all seemed plausible. 2520’s are running scared because of the browning of the country. Trump speaks their language of make America great again – back to the turn of the century is what they’re hoping for when BP knew their place.

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      Exactly. What is going on with this election is actually so accurate to the history of politics in these United States.

      BTW, everyone see 13th on Netflix if you haven’t already.

    • Duff Soviet Union

      Yeah, Black women knew Trump was a threat from the beginning while whites were too busy alternating between laughing and clutching pearls. They know what this country’s like better than anyone. They see the bigotry and misogyny that “the heartland” does their best to hide and deny.

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