Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

Men Are From Easy, Women Are From Interesting

"I still don't understand why you're content to live in this nice loft with exposed brick and still have this shitty-ass couch. Why don't you care about this???"

There’s so much discussion about what makes us different, that we tend to forget that we — men and women — have many of the same feelings, fears, and emotions. And, instead of looking at the opposite gender as a person with a few biological differences, we sometimes act like we’re dealing with an entirely different species

This paragraph is a response to a question a woman asked last Wednesday on my weekly live chat at Madame Noire. She wanted me the name the most common mistake women make in relationships, and instead of going gender-specific with the answer, I wanted to touch on something that affects both of us.

With that being said, even though I do still think that the “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” way of thinking causes more harm than good, there are (general) differences between us, these general differences do definitely matter, and an experience last weekend made of think of one very important (general) difference that I hadn’t really thought of before.

I was at a club Saturday night with a group of friends. Two of these friends happen to be a couple, and since I’m the resident “mediator” — and since, according to one of them, I turn into a “Black Bill from “Kill Bill” when I’m intoxicated (still haven’t figured out if that was a compliment) — they asked for my opinion about a disagreement they were having.

They’re both in a local MBA program, and they have a couple weeks left before the grind starts back up again. The guy wants to spend this time chillin at home, hanging out, and just generally doing the type of mundane relationship shit that’s great if you’re in a relationship with someone you actually like. Basically, he just wants to relax until school starts.

She, on the other hand, thinks they should take a trip together. Apparently, she just got an outrageously cheap deal on some tickets, and she wants to go somewhere, anywhere, before school starts and they don’t have the opportunity to travel as easily.

Both had compelling arguments. He just wanted a chance to exhale for another week or so before shit got hectic again, and she’s thinking “Why waste this time doing something that we can do whenever?”

At this point, other members of the group began to chime in. Predictably, all of the men sided with the guy, while the women agreed with the woman. My epiphany came when hearing the following exchange:

Man (addressing the women): “Why y’all always gotta make things so hard?”

Woman: “What’s hard about a damn vacation? Can you all not be so damn lazy all the time?”

After a few more increasingly spirited replies, it dawned on me: (Generally speaking) We (men) want life to be easy. Women want life to be interesting. 

It wasn’t some male solidarity that made all the men in the group agree that staying home was the most attractive option. It’s just that, if given a choice between relaxing for a week or going on a trip just for the sake of going on a trip, most guys would probably choose to chill. It’s less work, it’s less time-consuming, and it’s less hard.

And, while the trip discussion is the current example, this state of mind permeates pretty much everything we do. There’s a reason why so many guys fall in love with the first cute girl who’s nice to us, why we have no problem eating the exact same thing for dinner four days straight, and why many of us list “chillin” — the word to describe what happens when you’re not doing an activity — as one of our favorite activities. We like easy because “easy” usually means “less potential for pain.” We’re not avoiding effort, we just prefer putting ourselves in positions where we can predict the outcome.

Basically, you can say that we’re avoiding pain. Women, on the other hand, don’t seem to be as afraid of the unknown. You could even say that they embrace the unknown, the potential for pain, because it’s engrained in them. I’ve joked before about women being natural masochists, but when you think about it, many of the things separating women from men are inherently and excruciatingly painful.

Think about it. Unless a man happens to find himself in a scene from a Eli Roth flick, we will never experience the level of pain a woman does when she gives birth. Actually, lemme rephrase that. We will never experience that level of pain…and actually survive and recover…and willingly do it again!

We’ll also never have a sexual experience as painful and awkward and bloody as many women do when they first have sex. We’ll never know how it feels to spend 20% of every month randomly cramping up and continuously bleeding, and we definitely won’t know how it feels to have another person growing inside of you, kicking, scratching, growing, and feeding off of you like a parasite.

And, according to what I’ve heard from many women, the best sex, the toe curl and full body quiver inducing sex is usually also somewhat violent. Not violent in the getting punched or shaken sense, but violent in the getting f*cked sense. (There’s a reason why every little kid who walks in on his parents having sex initially thinks Daddy is beating up Mommy.)

Everything I just mentioned, though, is thought to be a positive thing, and I do think that having pain and joy so closely correlated makes it so that they’re almost on a permanent rush. The need to always be doing something, for life to always be interesting is them attempting to extend that high, and the main reason why, to paraphrase Chris Rock, (most) women can never be truly content. We, on the other hand, all still remember the little bit of pain we felt 20 years ago when Jasmine Porter gave Jimmy a Valentine’s Day card instead of us, and we follow the path of least resistance from that moment forward…which is another way of saying we do everything possible to make sure we never, ever, ever experience pain again.

Oh, and getting back to the couple, I suggested that they split the difference and just spend the week in a hotel. This way you’re getting away and chillin at the same. damn. time. An easy, painless answer, but since I’m a man, you shouldn’t expect anything else from me.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • DG

    “Easy” is generally pretty cheap too…

    • DG

      That is to say, ‘chillin’ doesn’t cost a man a thing. Any chill activity we do is usually free. Por ejemplo…
      ~An afternoon spent playing Madden: free
      ~Watching an NBA/NFL game: free
      ~Sitting on my a$$ all day on a Saturday: free

      In contrast, ‘interesting’ usually costs a few bills…

      • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

        I like the first two things on your list. Once made a young man stop speaking to me when I whooped data$s in Madden 2010 by some strange luck. Video games or a movie marathon is interesting. Watching the paint dry, no.

        • DG

          Well, 1 & 2 can both be accomplished while doing #3. And I agree, they are interesting activities that still qualify as ‘chillin’.

          • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

            *head nod in agreement*

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “In contrast, ‘interesting’ usually costs a few bills”

        another way of saying that is “interesting” usually means we foot the bill for both of us.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        and exactly what are you doing with a woman in those scenerios? She wants to do something WITH you. lmao

        • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

          She can be chillin. WITH us, of course.

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      glad this answer came from a dude.
      just sayin.

    • lm

      Yes, I’m thinking it might be more like that (“cheap”).

      Because what about all that skydiving and motorcycle racing and gambling the more well-to-do of you XY types like to do …?

  • She Who Reads

    But who wants to be hurt?

    • AfroPetite

      Physically or emotionally?

      I can take a little choking every now and again…

      • Royale W. Cheese

        :-|

        -1

        • AfroPetite

          Definitely in chexual settings only

          • kid video

            Definitely in chexual settings only

            My ladyfriend also likes to be “chokef*cked…hope she never passes out, and I have to call paramedics.

            • Yoles

              I just can’t get into that choking stuff… Having my breathing or talk se.xy interrupted completely messes up the mood
              *Yolieshrug*

              • nillalatte

                Co-sign that Yoles. Let me breathe dammit!

              • naturalista88

                HI!!! *waves excitedly*

              • kid video

                Sup Yoles…glad to see ya round these parts.

              • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

                I cosign that, Yoles. I need to breathe or else I panic. Don’t choke me or I’ll punch you.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        “I can take a little choking every now and again…”

        I just wanted to say…*sighs*…f*ck it….I got nothing…

      • That Ugly Kid

        *Reviews To-Do List

        1. Visit Wild Cougar
        2. Have a Threesome
        3. (New Entry) Take Roadtrip To AfroPetite’s Place of Residence
        4. Meet the inventor or the female condom in person so I can explain to him why he/she ain’t sh!t.
        5. Trust A Girl With A Big Butt And A Smile Just To See What Happens.
        6. Meet All The Females Who Got Pulled Over Because Their Azzes Were Apparently, Too Phat.*

        Yep. I think I got the sequencing correct.

        • That Ugly Kid

          of* the female condom

          and him/her*

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          “5. Trust A Girl With A Big Butt And A Smile Just To See What Happens.”

          Don’t do it, man! It would be a like

          *puts on sunglasses*

          ass-uming…yeah…

          • JessicaL

            BOL!

          • Rewind

            We should just give him a bottle of poison to see what will happen.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          5. Trust A Girl With A Big Butt And A Smile Just To See What Happens.

          No, bruh. Just. Don’t. DO IT! It’s not worth it. Trust me. I’ve been there. :)

        • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

          LMFAO
          what is WRONG with you!!!!!
          bwahaaaaaaaaa

          • That Ugly Kid

            You got a pro’lem with my To Do List Ms. Brown? Huh?!

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          You gonna visit me? I was gonna visit you! Babe, we gotta exchange contact info or follow me on Twitter or something so we can make it happen.

          • That Ugly Kid

            @SixHourErection

            • Breezy

              TUK…seriously you need to stop….ROTFLMBO! These names you come up with are ridic!

              • That Ugly Kid

                It’s my real twittername though. If you have one, follow me. It’s the best decision you will ever make in life. Unless you find a way to build the Iron Man suit and fight crime as Iron Woman.

            • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

              dead at the screename

            • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

              Roflol! Ok, I can see you are not serious. *closes travelocity window* *looks at warning label on blue pills* *calls doctor*

              • That Ugly Kid

                Lol! Follow me. The account is real. Just don’t ask where I came up with the inspiration for that name though.

              • b sweet

                LOL. I can’t vouch for TCK’s seriousness WC, but that really is his twitter name. I just checked.

            • http://shesoflyy.wordpress.com Muze

              LMAO

              you have such issues.

            • nillalatte

              Damn. you gonna make me resurrect my twittah acct just so I can watch your foolishness. lol

        • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

          Please re-consider #5. Those of the donk cannot be TRUSTED.

          She will feast on your innocence and then suck your soul through your penis.

      • The Guy Formerly Know As Hmmmm

        Jay Electronica said something this not long ago And was crucified by the tribes of Amazonia.

      • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

        Hmm? I’ll be sure to keep that I mind.

    • greg.

      Rihanna, apparently

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    Where was this vacation for the tickets? If it was a couple states over, then he should quit whining. But if she got last minute tickets to Rome, I can understand him waiting until a time he’d read a couple basic Italian phrases, renewed his passport, etc, and not want to go at the last minute

    P.S.
    We’ll also never have a sexual experience as painful and awkward and bloody as many women do when they first have sex.

    First time? Some women always experience this. Men have it so easy….

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Agreed on the last point. There are women who don’t get it together on the sex front until clear until their 40s. Most men can at least orgasm from jump.

    • Rewind

      Not true for all. Some men have extreme pain when they form an erection, ergo they can barely keep the erection let alone have sex. Some women feel NO PAIN from sex at all, including their first time.

      All of our bodies aren’t created equally, but all of our bodies are equally a mystery.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Sidenote: Pain while forming an erection may mean that too much skin was removed during his circumcision as a baby. There’s skin-surgeries for that.

        • Rewind

          I’ve heard of that. There are also tumors that have grown inside penises.

          • kirk

            Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Where was this vacation for the tickets?”

      from what i understand, it was one of those frequent flyer promotions where she could basically go anywhere she wanted for cheap as hell

    • lm

      She got last-minute tix to Rome and old boy wants to sit home and “chillax”?

      She needs to grab one of her girls and go sit on the Amalfi coast and listen to the nice compliments from the lovely local uomos, imo.

      #butthatsjustme

      • Kickandasnare

        ^^^ co- muther-loving sign!
        I think every woman should have the experience of hearing a dreamy Italian saying “belissima!” when she passes by. in rome. seriously. : )

  • Telekendall

    Ha. I am always the one who wants to stay home. But. Who wants easy when life can be fun and interesting? Boring men is why women cheat.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      I disagree with the “why women cheat” part. Misplaced expectations are why women cheat. You can’t expect your man to act like a best female friend.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

        kinda like we talked about the other day, chicks be needing female friends, let your man be a man, he doesnt want to gossip, watch vh1, or go see some author of a book he never heard of speak

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        *ding**ding**ding**

        I agree with that. You can’t expect your dude to be your girlfriend and that interesting, debonair dude who’se going to smash you down right at the same DAMN time. If anything, the traits that lead to one set of skills are the opposite of the traits needed for the other set.

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          Boring men is a big reason women cheat. He was trying to be exciting when they were dating and decided he didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything once he got her. That woman is going to look for excitement elsewhere and it might be found in the loins of another man who is trying to be exciting to win her away from her man.

          But keep telling women to lower their expectations…..see how that works out.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

            I’m with you insofar as dude wasn’t keeping it real when he was dating. If he was front like he was Mr. Dynamite when they first started dating, he can’t be mad when the woman is still looking for that after you fell back to the XBox. That said, women can create an exciting man in their heads, then act shocked that he isn’t what they imagined or wishes him to be. This cuts both ways.

            The best way is for a man to be 100% honest with himself and the women he deals with. Yes, it’ll lead to a large-ish pr0n collection for those droughts, but you’ll save a lot on therapists, tire and auto body repair and visits to the “clinic”.

          • lm

            I’m not sure it’s “boring men” so much as “lazy” ones.

            #jmo

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            I’m with you on women cheating because their man is boring, Wild Cougar.

        • Rewind

          Exactly. I fail to understand how a woman can want a man to protect her or to make love to her the only way a man would……but wonder why he has absolutely no interest in Basketball Wives, a peticure & manicure, or 45 minutes wasted on a conversation about the busted weave of that bytche she hates at work. Really tho?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “Misplaced expectations are why women cheat.”

        regardless of the actual reason why a woman might have cheated on a guy, in the eyes of people aware of the situation, it usually just comes down to either…

        a) he must be broke or something

        or

        b) his dick is wack

    • WayUPThere

      “Ha. I am always the one who wants to stay home. But. Who wants easy when life can be fun and interesting? Boring men is why women cheat.”

      And so now that’s a pass for cheating? I hope that’s not what you were getting at, but were trying to explain why it happens.

      Why cheat when you can just break up with the man? (The opposite goes for guys too, but you mentioned women cheating, so i’ll address that.) This spares the animosity and resentment caused by cheating. I don’t get why people just don’t break up if they’re unsatisfied, when cheating inevitably causes a bigger clusterbomb/problem than breaking up would have created.

      • Nikki

        I agree. If I’m done in a relationship then it’s time for us to go our separate ways. My time is valuable (to me) and I’m not going to spend it sneaking around. Plus having been cheated on in the past I couldn’t do that to someone else. In my opinion cheating is a cowardly. Sometimes we have to make the adult decisions no matter how hard they may be.

  • Royale W. Cheese

    Reading this post brought to mind Kanye West’s “Flashing Lights”…


    She don’t believe in shooting stars
    But she believe in shoes and cars
    Wood floors in the new apartment
    Couture from the store’s departments
    You more like “love to start shit”
    I’m more of the trips to Florida
    Ordered the hors d’oeuvres, views of the water
    Straight from the page of your favorite author
    And the weather so breezy
    Man, why can’t life always be this easy?

    I’ll propose that women embrace the aesthetically sensational, and men embrace the comfortable and mundane.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      Oh no! Dear management, please give my comment free, and censor sh** if needed.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      And this is why Kanye at his best is so good. He knows how to talk about his feelings about relationships without either turning into a b1tch or doing a “thug love” song where he shows love while trying to stay hard. While the specifics are different from man to woman, the general theme is the same.

    • Rewind

      I always took that verse as “why can’t she just appreciate the simple things”?

  • msdebbs

    I just can’t understand what’s so painful about going on a vacation??? Mars must be boring as hell….

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      Nah, men had their own experience of “The Hangover” that they would rather not talk about, LMAO!!!

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        It’s so true! Every heterosexual man (and a lot of the gay ones, keeping it 100) in America either has had or known someone who has had some wild trip somewhere that involved getting a little something in the process. When I try to break it down to women, they seem legitimately confused about how stuff like this happens.

        • Angel Baby

          LOL OMG My girl and I recently took a vacation without the men in our lives and all types of questioning was happening before and after. The type of insecurities we thought they were experiencing had some TRUTH to them huh? LOL We really had the discussion with each other when we came back after getting settled in and speaking with the guys like: ” were we supposed to have an affair while we were away or something?!”

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Vacations with women are work. Plan this, pack that, see some sights, do some shopping. I don’t want to do all of that! Heck I barely want to goto the gym while I’m on vacation. Let’s just find the lazy river, the servant that will put some top shelf liquids in my cup, and you can ACTUALLY put on the 50 bathing suits you brought; a new one every 30 mins just like Mr. CIAA.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        I’m a touch different than you in that I will work out on vacation, and that I’ll eventually get up and explore after having a few fruity drinks. But with me, I’ll just wing it, and my wife will want every second planned to the Nth degree. The only reason she doesn’t get her way completely is that she doesn’t drive, and therefore has to convince me to take her wherever. LOL

        • Sigma_Since 93

          Todd,

          I don’t mind exploring or traveling; I just need to get my mind right. I’m looking out for the cats trying to get you because out of towners = suckers. When I’m don’t have the home field advantage, keeping intune with your spider senses never allows me to really relax. I hate that feeling that I need a vacation after I’ve taken a vacation.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

            Agreed. But of course doesn’t see it that way, because you’re supposed to just protect her from going over the edge, hoping you have a Munchasen complex. :)

          • lm

            Pilates lesson in the morning, lay/walk around in maillot the rest of the day.
            If we’re there a week or so, maybe a little shopping on the occasional afternoon while you’re napping.
            Only a couple of planned days – when we’re going to see the tennis tournament.

            You must be dating the wrong girls.

      • Nolan Voyd

        +1….all the logistical sh!t that never enters the fantasy…

    • Rewind

      Because unless you are with a woman who not only understands you as a man, but understands you as a friend…men are not on a vacation, they are working, and no one wants to work when they should be relaxing.

      Just my last trip to Jamaica in June, I was surrounded by retired European men who seriously just wanted to relax by the beach, get drunk, and eat good food. Their wives wanted to travel to the mountains, over to Ocho Rios to see the marketplace, take a bus ride to Kingston, go rafting, etc. I’m not saying those things wouldn’t be fun, but because they were not the things the men wanted to do, it became work because now they are only doing it to please someone else. I would assume in the minds of those men, they felt like “woman, I brought you to Jamaica, what else do you want from me?”

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I just can’t understand what’s so painful about going on a vacation??? Mars must be boring as hell….”

      LOL, nothing is painful about a vacation. Its just that sometimes you just wanna chill at home and not have to do things

  • http://yourbiggirlpants.blogspot.com/ Mandi

    Plenty of guys like danger, ie “interesting.” Those are the guys who you see jumping out of planes, wrestling alligators, setting sail to the end of the world, just to see what’s out there. Women love those guys. Unfortunately those guys don’t tend to be the “relationship-type” of material. Too busy moving on to the next novel experience.

    A woman wants to explore and see new things, but she rarely wants to do it alone. She prefers to do it with people she loves and feels comfortable around. That way it’s dangerous, but not too dangerous She still has the comfort of the familiar at the end of the day. But if she has already bought the tickets, he has very little excuse not to get his butt off the couch and go. Stop making her waste her money.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      It kind of dawned on me a while back that boyfriends are not for having fun with. That’s what BFF’s are for.

      And when you’re doing nothing with your man, you just have to play it off like it’s the best thing ever, kind of like how a small child says for the millionth time “look at what I can do!” and jumps two inches into the air, and you act surprised and applaud.

      • nillalatte

        “It kind of dawned on me a while back that boyfriends are not for having fun with.”

        :( That’s exactly what I think they are for. If we ain’t having fun together what the fcuk are we doing together? Maybe that’s just me. *shrugs*

        • Yoles

          me too!!! i want to have fun with my paramour…

          • Justmetheguy

            This is why you choose someone who makes you laugh, can hold an interesting conversation and who’s a anywhere from good to great in the sack. If you can’t have fun “doing nothing” (ie not going out and spending money) with him then you picked the wrong one (my sister shared that epiphany with me one day a few years ago). Seriously, if you always need to go places and do things for him to be fun, then you’re lying to yourself about being with the right guy. I’m not saying you should always stay home, but if you’re not content just spending time with him more often than going places, then you’re in denial that you’re with a boring guy…

            • Rewind

              Good point. But as I’ve said many times before, most people don’t understand what a true relationship means, nor do they understand the value of the person they are with.

              • Breezy

                DING DING @ JMTG…your sister (IMO) is absolutely correct. That’s how I feel about it too. I enjoy veggie out all day with my S/O, having a movie marathon, conversations about nothing/something, cooking brunch, foot massages, sleeping in…and we don’t tried of OUR routine. We go out but can’t wait to get back to our little special space we created…it’s a beautiful thing.

                • nillalatte

                  Glad it’s not just me ’cause I actually like hanging out at the house, going to the park, and any other free or close to free activity I can find, preferably I don’t have to dress up either. Just casual all the way, which is how I like my relationships too.

              • SweetSass

                Well, you don’t understand what LIFE is about. That is having great experiences. Not looking back on life and saying I did nothing but sit on the couch playing video games for twenty years.

                • Breezy

                  SweetSass: I agree to an extent that life is about experiences but my choice of experiences mostly include the ones I love, who love me and us collectively enjoying whatever experience we want together. That just happens to be a lot of low key activities and we are ok with that. When I say baby I want to go here, we go, when he says let do xyz we do it…but most of the time we are cool being at home, laying on the sofa, eating popcorn out of the same bowl, watching a movie.
                  I don’t have a great need for high octane activity to keep me happy in my relationship.

                • Justmetheguy

                  “Well, you don’t understand what LIFE is about. That is having great experiences. ”

                  Did you really just tell that grown @ss woman that she doesn’t understand what life is about? Wow lol. But seriously though if you can’t have great experiences within the confines of your own home or neighborhood then I don’t know what to tell you. You have my dearest sympathies though. I have fun when I stay in and when I go places (depending on the day, the place, and the people/person I’m with)

                  • GirlSixx

                    +20

                    I tell people this ALL. THE. TIME. and they don’t seem to get it. I genuinely enjoy just staying in my house and/or my boudoir DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING besides watching tv or reading a good book with a nice bottle of wine.

                    • Justmetheguy

                      @ GirlSixx- But apparently that means you’re a lazy, boring, and uninteresting slob though smdh. These ppl on here are a trip

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              I agree with you Justmetheguy on how to pick the right person to be in a relationship with.

      • http://www.co3studio.com Cadet

        There’s definitely a difference in the roles of your man and your BFFs, but that might be a bit too drastic. If your man doesn’t want to have ANY fun, what’s his purpose?

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        agree.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        omg LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          re: Royale’s comment that BF are not to have fun with.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      “Plenty of guys like danger, ie “interesting.” Those are the guys who you see jumping out of planes, wrestling alligators, setting sail to the end of the world, just to see what’s out there. Women love those guys. Unfortunately those guys don’t tend to be the “relationship-type” of material. Too busy moving on to the next novel experience.”

      Which explains why almost all of these guys are divorced, by the way…or dead (I see you, Steve Irwin!)

      • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

        I knew someone was going to bring this up and it just had to be you PA. Steve Irwin (may he rest in peace) was on that “die fast” sh*t with his whole family. Let us not forget dangling the baby in front of a croc. Everytime I watched his show his wife and daughter were in tow. But they seemed to like it. After his death his daughter had her own show for a while.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          “I knew someone was going to bring this up and it just had to be you PA.”

          Oh come on, I can’t be that predictable can I? LOL!

      • nillalatte

        “explains why almost all of these guys are divorced, by the way…or dead”

        My thought exactly… especially the dead part.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Plenty of guys like danger, ie “interesting.” Those are the guys who you see jumping out of planes, wrestling alligators, setting sail to the end of the world, just to see what’s out there. Women love those guys. Unfortunately those guys don’t tend to be the “relationship-type” of material. Too busy moving on to the next novel experience.

      Yes and no. (I think Champ is a touch off with his comments, but I’ll save expanding on that for my own stand-alone comment.) Guys like drama in specific contexts that they know there is going to be drama. For example, a guy might jump out of an airplane with his boys…then go to the bar afterwards to chill with his boys. Or a guy will wrestle an alligator, then go fishing or watch TV. Women, on the other hand, want to get all of this excitement to get their emotions involved, only for it to all work out in the end. Women like to feel all of their emotions all of the time, and somehow have it be alright and safe in the end. Men don’t need all of that drama.

      • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        Edit: women can handle life and all the emotions that come with it. Men cannot, so they try to control life so they don’t have to deal with emotions they don’t like.

        • Rewind

          Might vary from person to person. Some men want to experience everything in the world, some women want to control every minute detail…I can’t really tell if most of this is truly gender related when it can change from person to person.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Plenty of guys like danger, ie “interesting.” Those are the guys who you see jumping out of planes, wrestling alligators, setting sail to the end of the world, just to see what’s out there. Women love those guys. ”

      you could (and people have) make the argument that the base impetus behind all of that danger seeking is the fact that these men are aware that the type of women they want access to is attracted to those sorts of things. so basically, they’re doing “hard’ stuff so that the attracting and sleeping with women thing will be easier

      • SweetSass

        Are there snow bunnies on the top of Mt. Everest? Seriously. That is just plain foolish. Some people just like to *live* life and aren’t lazy.

        Explain gay skydivers?

        • LSQ

          haha,
          been looking for those snow bunnies for a while now….

          but seriously, no other woman is as sexy as an adventurous one.
          female pilots being tops (I am biased)
          but shout out to all my skydiving,rock climbing, skiing, snowboarding, kayaking, biking, swimming, running, martial arts training, multiple continent traveling sistas out there. (and any other off-the-beaten-path activity I missed)

          Referring to the other commenters, we “Dangerous” types are just having fun conquering our fears – certainly not running from our emotions (duh fear, is an emotion!) Besides, who needs reality TV when you can live your adventures!

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      “Plenty of guys like danger, ie “interesting.” …Unfortunately those guys don’t tend to be the “relationship-type” of material. Too busy moving on to the next novel experience.”

      BINGO.

      • LSQ

        depends upon what you mean by relationship material.
        if “relationship material” is watching the latest in reality TV and listening to boring gossip (familial or celebrity), then no, we aren’t good for that.

  • Iceprincess

    Idk champ. I gotta side with the guy on this one. “Chillin” is one of my all time favorite things to do. If chillin was a sport, i’d win triple gold! When i list my character flaws, laziness is at the top. Im like a guy trapped in a womans body. Im content to spend all day sleeping, watchin tv, eating, masturbating. In no particular order lmfao.

    • naturalista88

      We must be long lost twins cause I am the same way. I don’t mind taking trips every now & again, but most of the time I just wanna be at home doing nothing. I don’t need life to be exciting during every waking moment, trying to survive in today’s world is “interesting” and “exciting” enough, sh*t.

      • http://www.gravatar.com myakai

        I think you forgot video games…but this is pretty much my list! Hell life is interesting enough sometimes a girl needs a break!

        • naturalista88

          Oh, I most definitely gets it in while playing “Michael Jackson: The Experience” and “Just Dance” on the Wii *lol*.

    • hehe

      ” Im content to spend all day sleeping, watchin tv, eating, masturbating.”

      Damn you sound like me!

    • That Ugly Kid

      “Im content to spend all day sleeping, watchin tv, eating, masturbating.”

      I call bullsh!t. Pics or it doesn’t happen.

      • Iceprincess

        I’ll give pix when you supply that measurment that some of the girls on here been askin for ;-)

        • That Ugly Kid

          Nope. I never give something for nothing. I been asking the VSS to give me pics (no, not avis, I mean T&A pics) LONG before they asked me to unveil Galactus The Ultimate Destroyer. I don’t mind showing him to the world. But….I asked first, so I get mine first.

          • nillalatte

            “so I get mine first.”

            So, that’s how it is, huh? WC, you betta work on yo’ boy. :D

          • JessicaL

            I thought you spelled destroyer with an “h” did you have his name legally changed or something?

            • That Ugly Kid

              I do. It was a typo. I’m amazed you caught that.

    • kid video

      Im content to spend all day sleeping, watchin tv, eating, masturbating.

      I didnt know there was a surveillance camera in my apartment.

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        *sings i always feel like…somebody’s watching meeeeee*

        • lm

          ♪♫ “WhoooOOOOOOOahh” ♪♫

          #everybodysingalong

          • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

            LOL. the music notes are awesome!
            #jellus

    • Justmetheguy

      OMG, how could I be fallin in love with someone who doesn’t even have a picture up??? Seriously, if more women were content with chillin the marriage rate would jump by 21.3% This song used to be my theme song (and no I don’t understand most of the words) lol

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFJj2S-OS-0

      • Angel Baby

        LOL Yep love the raggae man!

      • SweetSass

        Probably not. Someone too lazy to get out of the house is also too lazy to plan a wedding.

        • Justmetheguy

          Wait, men are supposed to plan weddings? Or are you calling all the ladies on here that don’t require constant outings (ie IcePrincess, K.B. Breezy etc;) lazy?

          • Breezy

            LOL…I AM THE PLANNER FOR ALL things…so nope not gonna get me with that one. JMTG: I don’t think that is what she meant doe.

          • SweetSass

            Yes, the woman whose idea of a great date is watching you watch sports is probably also the one who cohabitates with a guy for 10+ years and wonders why no ring appears on her finger.

            • Breezy

              SweetSass: Anyone who cohabitates with a man for 10 years and he is not her husband, in my opinion is an arse and a fool. I am neither the former nor the latter.

              • Nikki

                Are you referring to women who actually WANT to get married? If so then I can agree, but there are a number of women (myself included) who have no interest. My S/O and I could live together for 100 years and not get married and that doesn’t even phase me. Not saying there is anything wrong with getting married because it can be a beautiful thing. It’s just not a deal breaker with me. As long as me and my S/O are true to each other it doesn’t matter. Being married does not stop someone from lying, cheating, etc. Trust me it doesn’t even deter it in the least. You can have all the same legal entitlements it just takes a few more pieces of paper. But that’s just me.

            • Justmetheguy

              @ SweetSass- But none of them said that watching the man watch sports was their idea of a great date, or even a date at all. Some of these ladies would actually be watching sports themselves. But more importantly their point was that they weren’t that needy that they had to go on dates and trips constantly. Mind you they didn’t say they NEVER wanted to go on dates and trips (neither did the fellas).

            • Nikki

              I don’t understand how chillin get to laziness. I went out enough in my 20s and now that I am in my 30s I just want to relax, relate,and release. Nothing wrong with that in my mind. I feel I do enough during the week (work, Master’s program, gym, etc) that my free time be spent vegging out. I’ve had enough *experience*.

          • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

            LOL.

            im a planner. by trade and nature.
            that being said, nothing is greater to just be and go where life takes ya.

            (for all wedding inquiries..holla!!!) :P

            • naturalista88

              *Lol* nice way to promote yourself.

    • Kema

      ” Im content to spend all day sleeping, watchin tv, eating, masturbating. In no particular order lmfao.”

      Sounds like a perfect Sunday!

    • Rewind

      Put your hands in your pants ala Al Bundy style, and you’ll win a gold medal for the Bawse As Fawk Olympics.

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      “Im like a guy trapped in a womans body. Im content to spend all day sleeping, watchin tv, eating.”

      Me too, for the most part. Once in a while I do enjoy vacationing, exploring, and doing interesting things. Or at least, things I deem interesting. I find interest in a lot of “boring” activities like talking walks, crossing bridges (the Brooklyn Bridge happens to be my fave), riding swings at the park, things like that. But I LOVE to chill! I’m from NYC and life is too fast-paced as it is. Chillin is a blessing.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

    I think the thing you’re missing is that “chillin” doesn’t mean the same for men as it does for women. Neither does “doing something interesting”.

    • b sweet

      What does chilling and interesting mean for men?

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        Getting drunk and barbecuing, perhaps?

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        Chilling: Xbox, beer, mary-jane, Netflix, kitchen sex.

        Interesting: Scratching an entry off of the bucket list, almost getting killed, going to jail, engaging in activities reckless enough to lead to fisticuffs of some sort, ending up on Tosh.0.

        When guys get bored and want to “spice things up” it’s usually with the fellas, self-preservation be damned. You don’t want your girl around during those times and its for her own protection. Most times the things that women find “interesting” simply mean a lot of trouble for the man, and for what…something that he’s not going to find that exciting anyway.

        • Iceprincess

          Have you ever been locked up jay? I assure you, its niether interesting nor exciting. Not exactly how i like to get my kicks. Rotflmao.Trust me, going to jail aint cute. Its nowhere you wanna be.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

            No, I haven’t. My mother was a corrections officer for about 10 years. Trust, I have no delusions about what jail is like. But I can’t deny that the best and most interesting stories that I’ve ever heard from countless guys usually ends with them in the back of a squad car.

            • nillalatte

              Now y’all got me singing Akon… :( I pleads the FIF!!! And, that’s all I got to say about that.

        • b sweet

          +456 kitchen sex. It’s the best!!

          • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

            ^^^^ yes.
            #carryon

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          K, so when you’re chillin, you’re watching sports and when you’re doing something exciting, she’s not invited. #reasonswomenleave

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “Most times the things that women find “interesting” simply mean a lot of trouble for the man, and for what…something that he’s not going to find that exciting anyway.”

          interesting point

        • http://www.aworknprogress.com Diana

          HA! That is soo true. I dated this guy who once told me about one of the best times he ever had – and it was he and his homeboy in New York on New Year’s Eve, totally drunk, roaming the streets, and experiencing and witnessing the most random of events, including I wanna say someone getting jumped or a crazy fight breaking out? Anywho. I was sitting there like what the fuss?! That sounds nucking futs!

      • Rewind

        Everybody has different definitions..but it all hints down to one thing: relaxing.

        Anything that allows a person to let go of the evils and worries of the world by doing something that completely puts them at ease. Could be cooking, playing games, watching tv, building a model airplane or jerking off to German bukkake animal gangbang porn…who the hell knows, but that person has a smile on their face or maybe a :-| face but smiling on the inside.

    • Justmetheguy

      “Neither does “doing something interesting”

      + 1,000,000! That’s why I save the “something interesting” for my homies, not my lady

      • SweetSass

        You confuse ‘something stupid’ with ‘something interesting’… we also don’t want to see you do shenanigans that end up in a cop car. That is not what we are referencing.

  • That Ugly Kid
    • AfroPetite

      Sounds like Kain needs to man up and earn his red wings.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Ew. F*ck red wings, yo. F*ck em all the way to Oblivion.

      • Royale W. Cheese

        I’m surprised that he didn’t suggest that his lady “woman up” and give a BJ. That makes the most sense to me.

        • That Ugly Kid

          Because BJs cause more problems than they solve:

          1. They don’t do anything but make us want to have chex more.
          2. Fact: 97% of women lack the ability to make a man climax from just head alone.
          3. Because of #2, head becomes overrated and subsequently, uneventful and boring.

          • That Ugly Kid

            Oh and I forgot the most important one:

            4. A lot of women *coughmostlyblackcough* don’t like to give head. Which is what leads to #2 and #3. Please, let’s not confuse WILLINGNESS to give head, with actually LIKING giving head. You may be willing to do it to keep your man happy, but because you don’t LIKE doing it, your dome is…..forgettable. Because you don’t like it, you don’t take the time and effort to perfect the craft and make your head….

            ….mindblowing (teehee)….

            So yeah. Giving BJs when it’s time to surf the crimson Wave is not really the best idea.

            • Aly

              4. A lot of women *coughmostlyblackcough* don’t like to give head.

              *sigh* Here we go with this myth again. I think we should take a poll to find out the real deal because I don’t think this is true.

              • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                …tapping fingers. Waiting for you to start a comment thread so that I can see your new avi.

                • Aly

                  The anticipation is killing you, isn’t it? ;)

                  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                    I’m saying though…

              • That Ugly Kid

                So you’re telling me you LIKE doing it? That you just get the urge to whip out your man’s meat and go to town on him? Again, there’s a difference between actually liking giving head, and being willing to give head. Most black women seem to fall into the “Willing” category.

                • Aly

                  Absolutely.

                  • That Ugly Kid

                    Absolutely to what? To the entirety of my comment? Or the you craving Oscar Meiyer’s weiner part?

                    • Aly

                      Yes, TUK I happen to LIKE doing it.

                    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                      I just read an article about this. I will see if I can find it so that I can link to it, but it was talking about women having orgasms while giving head. I’ve only seen it happen once but I was fascinated. She wasn’t necessarily the best at it or the most eager but… it happened. We had like a 30 minute conversation about it after. Apparently the nerves of the lips, tongue and throat are connected to the nerves down there.

                • Breezy

                  TUK…once again you are meeting the wrong women. In the words of DQ “ALL about philanthropy when it comes to this.”

                  • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                    exactly.
                    and as for not being able to do it well (aka to completion)….
                    well… im not saying i got receipts…
                    but i got receipts.
                    and im black.
                    so…good job on the baiting…

                    • Justmetheguy

                      Keisha u can’t be sayin sh*t like that and flashin us wit them big sexy soup coolers. That’s actually against the law. (picks up phone to dial the virtual police)

                    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                      SOUP COOLERS??????????????????
                      LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

                    • The Guy Formerly Know As Hmmmm

                      of all the damn avatars on this site….you know what you are doing….

              • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

                The truth is that there are a higher percentage of Black women with head issues than women of other races. It doesn’t mean that a majority of Black women have issues with it, but I will say that if we tracked down all the straight women in America with head issues, Black women would be overrepresented.

                • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

                  Hmm, I’d be interested to see numbers on this…

            • naturalista88

              Uh, I LOVE doing that certain deed. Something about the way it feels in my mouth and the fact that he enjoys it makes me happy to oblige when he requests it. Whew, let me stop before I turn this into *VSBAfterDark*.

              • kid video

                Whew, let me stop before I turn this into *VSBAfterDark*.

                That has potential…interesting sex stories and/or writing erotic fiction…
                we might find the next Zane.

            • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

              …and they wonder why beckys with no lips get the title as best dome givers, im chillin tho

              • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

                Becky, Becky marry me!
                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcKG4EJ6rsQ

                But like I said, there are Black women out there that like head and are good at it. You just gotta keep looking.

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              And the Crimson Tide is why the Good Lord put Latex (and polyurethane for those allergic to latex) on this planet. You can surf, then clean up by throwing everything in the trash. Roll Tide!

              • AfroPetite

                First of all LMAO but why you have to parallel Bama with my Aunt Flo???

                Secondly, I see you have earned your Red Wings and for that I salute you

              • kid video

                Roll Tide!

                As someone who lives in Alabama…college football is the only reason the rest of the country recognizes this state…

                Things that matter in Alabama:
                1. Religion
                2. College football
                3. BBQ
                4. Pick up trucks

            • Rewind

              Maaaaaaaaaaaan stop with the generalizations, you making us look bad!

              We’re supposed to be all open and willing to let go of the stereotypes homie, cool your jets on that stuff. Besides….somebody will tell you that you never met that many women for your logic to be sound…they will be right…and then the vagina/penis wars will rage on. Make it stop.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

            Fact: 97% of women lack the ability to make a man climax from just head alone.

            All hail T.U.K. for putting this out there. I always thought it was just me. Like I didn’t get what all the hype concerning oral sex was about. As I got older I realized that that 3% are out there… and they are doing the lord’s work. They’re just sooooo far and few between.

            P.S. There is at a least a 5% contingent of that 97 that are under the delusion that they are a part of the illustrious 3%… SMH.

            • Royale W. Cheese

              How is this delusion possible? It’s pretty obvious when the guy is “finished.”

              • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                Because girls front. Its almost the equivalent of a man with erectile dysfunction. Do you know how many times I’ve heard this line from a girl: “I swear this has never happened before.”

                • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

                  Is this like hearing “It’s bigger than it looks” from a guy?

                  • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

                    That’s the exact equivalent. Thanks!

                • jojee

                  wow. this whole convo is just…really?? never knew it was that hard out there for y’all. (pun intended)

            • That Ugly Kid

              Lol, well you’re a lucky one. Because I’ve never EVER climaxed from head. But, I know people are gonna be like, “You’re 22 years old, you’re young, you got plenty of time!”.

              News flash. I live in Chicago. So excuse the f*ck out of me if I don’t consider “time” to be a close friend of mine.

              • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                I said the EXACT same thing at 22. THE. EXACT. THING. I’ll tell you the same thing that my older cousin told me with the same smug a$$ grin, and the same condescending “patience, young grasshopper” tone: It will happen. Just wait. And when it does you will be blown away(no pun intended). You will want to grab her and kiss square her in the mouth. Resist this urge my friend. For the love of god… RESIST!!!

            • kid video

              As I got older I realized that that 3% are out there… and they are doing the lord’s work. They’re just sooooo far and few between.

              Its too bad 2% of the 3% work in tha p0rn business…

              • That Ugly Kid

                “Its too bad 2% of the 3% work in tha p0rn business…”

                And it’s terrible that a contingent 1.5% of that 2% are the white pr0n stars.

                • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

                  Lemme testify that there are Black women that give good knowledge. Trust be, I’ve met them. They exist. They just aren’t that common.

                  • Justmetheguy

                    Man yall negroes trippin. Head is NOT overrated, and if it’s only 3% then I must be AWESOME at choosing women, cause I can’t think of but 2 or 3 that couldn’t make me cum from it. It definitely takes longer (which is a good thing in my book) but I must be meeting some future porn stars cause I can think of about 10 off the top of my head. With the women I mess with it’s not that they can’t make me cum from it, it’s that they don’t wanna finish. They always wanna do it for bout 5-10 minutes then start smangin. It’s never just me time (see what I did there?), always we time smh. But a word of advice to yall, either pick the women with sex appeal (some things are intuitive for a reason) or just make sure the ones you choose do a good job combining bj and handjob. The hand will keep u stimulated enough to fill in the gaps and sh*t…you’re welcome

                    • Justmetheguy

                      Free me from moderation. Everybody else was talkin dirty first :-/

                    • http://taterwithak.blogspot.com K. Marie

                      THANK. YOU.

                      ‘Tis all I have to say on this particular comment thread.

                    • That Ugly Kid

                      Nah. The women you’re with weren’t talented. You were just easy.

                    • Kema

                      @TUK… Or maybe ur just difficult.

                • Namia

                  Umm no scienticific studies, but personal studies say..it could be the type of man too…like some guys get here faster than others..and may be they are the ones who get the 3%..cause the fist time i ever gave a dude one..like i had no idea what i was doing..just following what i a had read..he got there real good…it felt good..then i go on to date other guys..i had gotten better…lets just say they all did not get there..hits and misses..which kinda bums..cause i thought i was a star…lol

                  • Namia

                    first time

                    • Justmetheguy

                      Lol @ TUK. Trust me most of them were talented. AND patient, which is key because obviously gettin there from oral takes a whole lot longer, but even if I was easy, according to today’s post that would make me a man…only people i know that complain about havin trouble climaxing r women…I will admit most of these chicks cheated and used their hands also but it still counts tho #ifyouaintcheatinuainttryin

            • Iceprincess

              I’ll gladly take my rightful place in the top 1% of that 3%. I enjoy the art of fellatio, & have no prob bringing a man to completion. It makes me in a position of control, & thats sexy. I love how it feels knowing i can make a tough, alpha male sing saprano. I feel powerful.

              • kid video

                I enjoy the art of fellatio, & have no prob bringing a man to completion.

                You and Aly make the world a better place.

                • Aly

                  Lol! Umm, thanks?

                  • Breezy

                    *stands next to Aly and Ice singing “Heal the World”*

                    • Aly

                      *high fives Breezy*

              • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                ALLLL OF ICE PRINCESS’ COMMENT.
                *hands her a beverage.

              • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

                “I love how it feels knowing i can make a tough, alpha male sing soprano.”

                Yes.

            • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

              It’s not an achievement to aspire to. Who cares if he can finish from head. He should be happy a woman is willing to put it in her mouth. Really. Want Becky lips? Be my guest. It’s usually the losers, nerds, bitter……Becky can have them.

            • Rewind

              You got to admit though…part of that shyte is men’s fascination with porn. We see chicks giving mean head on the screen and then assume that’s how ALL females should be blowing pipe, then reality becomes so disappointing. Hell I can’t even get much enjoyment from it, so I don’t ask for it, but every female I’ve been with has had to prove her point by TRYING to go the distance and it never worked, crushing their ego while saying “I’ve always been able to make guys cum this way”. Nope. That’s a negative.

            • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

              I made a guy climax a couple of times from me giving him fellatio, Jay. I still don’t consider myself part of that 3%. I just got lucky those few times!

          • Royale W. Cheese

            #2 is not a problem for me (and no, I’m not posting any pics), so I guess my input is biased.

            • That Ugly Kid

              Fascinating. Just as I suspected when I made my generalization. It seems to me, that every single time when a statistic, or generalization, is made about women, all of the VSSs on here just HAPPEN to be the exception. Sorry. But I call bullsh!t of the highest exponent.

              • bhillboy

                +!

              • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                how exactly do we prove it though? you trying to get random head from every chick on VSB that claims to like it and do it well? not gonna happen homie. make an offer they can’t refuse, and some might…

                and of course you are going to have SOME women come and say they don’t fall within your stereotypes. NO ONE wants to be painted with a negative brush/placed in a box ( no pun intended). so just stop. Men and Women always call shenanigans when they are being generalized.

                if i said black men don’t eat pu$$y – guess what would happen. THE EXACT SAME THING. you want to make statements based on YOUR experience and YOUR life – cool. but until you meet and #uck every single black chick on the planet – you can’t make the kind of statement without being called on it.

                • That Ugly Kid

                  The point I was making, is that I find it odd how this little VSB/VSS community apparently has ALL the exceptions, to every “rule”. Like, if I said 70/100 can’t Dougie, I bet those 30 women who can would just HAPPEN to be on VSB. Which is odd. That’s why I call bullsh!t.

                  • YeahSo

                    Sh*t happens when you make generalizations… not just that… sh*t happens when you decide to group people into one ideology period. Dude people are all different, take each encounter as it’s own encounter… stop trying to put what you been through on me (or anyone)… frankly, you really don’t me know me like dat… and my head is bomb so… lol

                    • Breezy

                      *drops mic for Ice and makes her walk off like Obama*

                    • Justmetheguy

                      Ok, that’s it, I’m bout to hit up Expedia to find two tickets to Vegas :)

                    • That Ugly Kid

                      You’re missing the point. I know the consequences of generalizations. My point is, as I’ve said for a third time now, how that it’s odd that everyone HERE, at VSB, on this forum, on this website, who are regulars, are the exceptions. I know people are different. But to have EVERYONE be the exception, never happens.

                    • YeahSo

                      The problem with saying that 3 times, or even 1, is that there are 8 MILLION chicks on this d@mn blog… seriously? Like you really don’t think there will be exceptions my dude? Stop it.

                  • Rewind

                    You could say the same shyte in a room full of 5 people and still have the same problem, because generalizations only speak to a vast majority that doesn’t speak for the minority.

                  • That Ugly Kid

                    *facepalm* @YeahSo. You keep missing my point. I KNOW there will be exceptions. I. KNOW. THIS. My point, is that EVERYONE (or damn near) here claims that they are the exception. I know there are always exceptions. But for EVERYONE to be the exception, is uncanny. Do you understand me now? My point is not that there shouldn’t be exceptions, is that everyone here is claiming to be the exception. THAT’S my point. Some people on here are frontin’. Please tell me you understand me now. I hate repeating myself.

                    • Kema

                      The VSS’s arent exceptions tho. I think certain ‘rules’ stated are flawed.

                    • YeahSo

                      Then please stop repeating yourself because I got you the first time… maybe you should go read the comments again instead of you know… because you sound ridiculous.

                    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                      @ TUK

                      out of the lets say 500 women that comment on this blog (both the infrequent and regulars), your above thread was replied to by like 10.

                      many others won’t respond because they DO fit your generalization. so…i’m not quite following how you can say that when you say x = every woman here says y.

                      im not afraid to speak truth in this forum. i have no reason to lie. if i hated giving BJ’s – i’d say it. letting you know your statement is wrong isn’t going to get me a man, a medal or money. i can only speak for myself though. maybe there are women wanting to be the exception so that they can get chose.

                      me? im chillin in the great north.

                • Rewind

                  Yup, my Keisha is something like a genius.

                  • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                    *curtsies*

                    • Rewind

                      You just had to be cute didn’t you?

                    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                      i STAY being cute doe.
                      *points at dimple*

                    • Justmetheguy

                      “many others won’t respond because they DO fit your generalization. so”

                      Yeah Rewind, she said a mouthful then….lol. But yeah it always works that way, if it’s true but they realize it is being stated as a negative then why the hayull would they help prove your point? That’s just life, the women who fit your description (I agree with you that they’re in the majority, as most black women don’t actually ENJOY giving head) are gonna remain silent. No one’s gonna co-sign someone who’s pointing out their flaws and generalizing them at the same d*mn time, even if it is true

              • Royale W. Cheese

                ALL of the VSS’s? You’re exaggerating. Please count the responses.

                • That Ugly Kid

                  I don’t wanna! My god woman did you not read the title?!?! Men want it easy! Counting posts is too monumental a task.

              • demondog06

                +25

                • Shogun

                  Ya’ll ninja’s crazy; head definitely isn’t overrated and I thought this whole black girls don’t like giving head thing died in the 90s. From my experience and numerous surveys and even all the replies in this thread show otherrwise. It’s more likely that the VSS in here aren’t the exception, but actually are the norm. I have to agree with justme that yall need to find more sexually free girls or something because I’ve never talked to a girl that didn’t like giving head. And I feel sorry for anyone that hasn’t finished from it cuz that ish feels amazing

        • AfroPetite

          Good point Royale….he ain’t bout that life apparently

      • Yoles

        that’s what i’m saying… run that red light kain.. you gon be alright..

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Hey, I don’t mind Red Wings. Hell, I’ll f*ck around and rock a Steve Yzerman jersey to bed, if that’s what is needed. :)

        • That Ugly Kid

          Todd….

          Ew bro….

          Ew…..

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          Red Wings are unsanitary, Todd. Come on, man!

    • Royale W. Cheese

      Ha! The red splash behind the word period was a nice touch.

      Very straight-forward instructions. I like it. So, basically, take your guy to Dave and Buster’s and cut him lose…kind of like how you take your dog to the dog park and let him run around.

      • DG

        Y’know, I noticed that you compared men to little kids in your previous example above….now you’re comparing us to dogs?? Just slowly moving down the evolutionary/developmental chain, I see. I recognize a patronizing diss when I see one.

        *I’m watching you, RWC (does the Robert Deniro fingers-to-eyes-to-your-eyes point).

        • Royale W. Cheese

          Sorry, the vid put me in a confrontational mood for some strange reason. :)

          About the “kid” comment upthread…well, I couldn’t think of a better analogy. Sometimes you just have to embrace the mundane because you love that person too much to gripe about what makes them content. *bats eyelashes innocently*