Featured, Race & Politics

Melissa Harris-Perry Just Showed What It Means To Give No Fucks About What White People Think

Before we get into what it means to give no fucks about what White People™ think, we must first establish what it doesn’t mean. Because existing in this fuck-less space is complicated, and it’s easy to conflate and confuse existing there with other things that exist independent of its existence.

Basically, it doesn’t mean you harbor consistent antipathy for White People™. You can actually give no fucks about what White People think and have White friends. Close White friends. White significant others. Even White people in charge of the potato salad. It also doesn’t mean you don’t care about the opinions of individual people who happen to be White. You can not care about what White People™ think, and care greatly about what your White co-worker thinks about your annual reports or whether she’s bothered by the hot sauce aroma emanating from your cubicle whenever you eat celery. Because your Black-ass puts hot sauce on celery.

What it does mean is that you value yourself, your voice, and your status — specifically, the integrity of your self, your voice, and your status — more than you value how White People™ feel about you, your voice, and your status. You recognize that the “White Gaze” exists, but it doesn’t factor much into the thoughts you have and the decisions you make.

For those unsure of how that looks, pay attention to what Melissa Harris-Perry did this week. Specifically, what she did yesterday.

From Melissa Harris-Perry rejects MSNBC Deal in scathing farewell:

On Tuesday, the outgoing MSNBC host said that her exit negotiations with the network fell through after she refused to accept the terms of a non-disparagement clause that she described as “a gag order.”

“They wanted me to sign a non-disparagement clause, and we had a deep disagreement over what constituted the non-disparagement clause,” Harris-Perry told CNNMoney on Tuesday. “They wanted me not to speak about MSNBC. I said no.”

James Perry, Harris-Perry’s husband and the one who led the negotiations with MSNBC, said that MSNBC’s non-disparagement clause would have restricted his wife to speaking about MSNBC only when it was “positive or in her academic work.”

“I’ll never get another penny from MSNBC,” Harris-Perry said.

Oh, and these happened too:

Throughout this ordeal, which began last week and feels like it will continue for weeks to come, there’s been a consistent strain of criticism about how she has handled all of this, even from people who support her. They believe she’s unnecessarily burning bridges. And while that’s likely true — I’m sure there are network executives who’ve pledged to never work with her again after this — it’s also spoken from a perspective of giving a fuck about what White People™ think; of suppressing your very valid thoughts and feelings and words because it might affect how you’re regarded by them.

Obviously, Melissa Harris-Perry has the status, the resume, and (presumably) the bank account to exist in this fuck-less space in a way that many of us can’t. But that doesn’t negate the value of her existing there. Because there are many Black people with greater statuses, more impressive resumes, and bigger bank accounts who don’t. And never will.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Jasmine

    There’s nothing like handing someone their a s s with RECEIPTS.

  • YeaSoh

    Yasssss MHP!!!! YASSSSSSS! Bring ’em out, bring ’em out!! I hope she knows she’s about to get blacklisted like a muuhhhhhhgg and already has a plan b tho. Oprah I’m looking at YOU! lol

  • She just effectively walked out of the HR director’s office in front of the entire floor and said “AND TELL YOUR ASHY, DIRTY NECKED MAMA I SAID F UCK HER TOO!”

    I wish I had this kind of balls. While I’m not very familiar with her show, I give so much props to MHP for always being unapologetic with her sh it. She is not afraid to hand you your a s s in a recyclable bag and still manage to do it with grace. At this point, who cares about burning bridges with people who clearly didn’t want you to shine in the first place? #bars

    • KMN

      “At this point, who cares about burning bridges with people who clearly didn’t want you to shine in the first place?”
      This is all that needed to be said…I’m going to have to find a shirt to put this on….can we change “want you to shine” to “want you to cross”?
      Never mind me lol…this is still an awesome quote that I’m stealing ma’am :)

      • Um…we can make this shirt happen :)

        • KMN

          I know you can lolol…I need to get all the shirts lol

          • I ain’t doing real work for the rest of today anyway. Let me know lol

            • KMN

              I will because I WILL be wearing that at work…chile wait till payday though…I’m planning a soon to be 8 year olds bday party: who by the way is awesome she said instead of presents this year she wanted everyone to bring food to donate to the local chapter of the Hunger TaskForce. I’m so proud of my baby…she said she still wanted that bike tho LMAO

              • COME THRU with the realness, baby girl!!

                I love a civic-minded child! She can still turn up on her bike and be down for the cause doe lmao

                • KMN

                  And she’s going to be having surgery right around that time? Shooot shes getting a bike, American Girl doll…some jewelry (because I don’t know WHERE this girly girl came from…because my loins are tomboyish lolol) she did that…and I love her for it…my little Stinky PooPoo Girl :)

                  • Aww give her some hugs from us!

                    #trainupachild

                    • KMN

                      I sure will!!! she’s definitely a hugger! LOL

      • Kira Lynn Stewart

        I would buy several of these shirts. One for everyday of the work week. And when my all white office asks what it means? “Sit down, let me tell you a story…”

    • Jay Howard Gatsby

      Same. I’m pretty darn sure MHP prob severed plenty of ties – I hope she won’t be relegated to TVOne with Roland Martin – but she does have the fanbase to do it on her own if she so chose to. I do wonder what her Plan B and C is though. Besides Wake.

      • I’m guessing her coins are in order enough that she’s been able to secure herself some cushioning. From what I know, she’s also a professor and will likely be approached for other positions in academia.

        • Jay Howard Gatsby

          Oh, I’m sure she’s not hurting for money. What I’m curious about is “where” she’ll take her fanbase. #Nerdland needs a new home and whatnot. It can’t just be limited to a campus!

          • That will be interesting. I was thinking of a podcast, but that’s a dub. Her audience might not go for that.

        • Dougie

          She’s a Wake Forest professor with a lawyer husband. She’s gucci.

          • Epsilonicus

            Gotta love that upper middle class privilege

            • Dougie

              It’s nice *Borat voice*

      • Sigma_Since 93

        This would be awesome. Have the shows go back to back. It’s better than Roland going off at 8 and followed by with A Different World.

        • KMN

          check your email sir…I’m over here scamming lolol

          • Sigma_Since 93

            work won’t let me be great. I’ll check it when I get home.

      • Dr. She Who Reads

        Someone suggested talk news on the OWN Network. I’d be here for that.

        • Bkmews

          THIS.

      • JanuaryBabe

        MHP has a PHD! She “is” Doctor MHP! She can write her ticket!!!! Plus Oprah can always set her up! She good!!!!

    • miss t-lee

      They already had it out for her with that “challenging and unpredictable” they threw out there.
      You know how like to label Black women.

      • Because the ‘right’ way to do things is to be docile and mundane. Because that’s worked for us. FOH!

        • miss t-lee

          All the way outta here with shizz.

      • MostlyMax

        Peeped that right? I popped a mean screwface when I read that mess. I immediately translated that as Black & excellent & unapologetic. Not to mention completely unbothered by their opinion. That must have eaten them up.

        • miss t-lee

          I peeped it because I’ve lived it.
          When that happens, it’s time to start documenting everything, and brush up the ol’ resume.

          • MostlyMax

            Also. I was dinged in a performance review because I didn’t smile enough and I didn’t appear welcoming. Also because I didn’t laugh at one of the CEO’s corny jokes. I asked my supervisor if I was a waitress working for tips or nah? I saw that the jig was cloud level and got ready for an exit.

            • Epsilonicus

              I had a job that got upset that I quit before they could fire me. They basically said it.

              • MostlyMax

                Classy. Stuff like that will keep my HR Management game tight and right.

                • Epsilonicus

                  They thought that I was just ignoring how they treated people.

              • KNeale

                Lmao!!! How deep is that? How deep is the psychosis of power? Lol. They didn’t want you to not work there, they wanted to legitimately hurt you. Because otherwise they would have been happy that you quit.

                • Epsilonicus

                  Not even close. I was the only person who ever resigned that did not get a going away party.

                  • Quirlygirly

                    You didn’t need they stinky party no way.. they standing around eating cake and acting fake.

                    When I left me last job, before they fired me, I told them don’t give me a party an if they wanted me to go right then I would gladly take my stuff and leave. I had been taking my candy bowl and other stuff home. All I had was my purse and my sweater.

                    • JanuaryBabe

                      My last job with the worst Bank in the world…..when I saw the handwriting on the wall…..I started cleaning out my desk, giving stuff away and clearing out so that if the came for me in a surprise move, I could grab my purse and roll out! If you saw my desk you would never know that I was gone….. But I didn’t quit……went out on stress leave……they were sooo pissed! Stayed out 11 months……they were so mad because they had my papers drawn up!!!! Don’t come for me if I don’t call you Bae!

                  • Me

                    Been there. They were SALTINES (especially since I still had to work with them from a different dept)! And what hurt them the most was that after I left, everyone jumped ship. Folks started quitting left and right because I was the MF glue that kept that ship afloat. Took them a couple full turnovers to finally get a team in place that could handle the workload I was pulling, and from what I hear, they still got hiccups. It got to a point where folks were constantly hitting me up telling me about the latest blunder, and I had to be like “listen, I’m really not stressed about that dept anymore… I said all I had to say when I had ol’ boy shaking in his office (best visual ever — white dude scared to the trembles over a black woman sitting in front of him calling out his b/s)… these updates about how much he’s struggling without me do nothing for me, but get out while you can”.

                    • Jennifer

                      *twerking*

                      You made a white dude tremble?! You’re the real MVP.

                    • Me

                      Visibly. The other white dude in the room was just in shock… mainly b/c he had been getting screwed to so he was just letting me do all the dirty work so he could turn around and kiss as* after I left, thinking it was gonna guarantee his job. I think he ended up getting pushed out. Just goes to show you, never expect loyalty. Get yours before they get theirs.

                    • Jennifer

                      *twerking*

                      Good lessons all round.

                    • KNeale

                      Aint it the truth! If you dropped dead in the office they’d be reviewing resumes before your body heat left the chair you were chained to. Don’t be loyal to people that dont give a fudge about you!

                    • Bleep Gilliam

                      And THIS is why I stay in the comments section on VSB. you can’t get this anywhere else and im here for all of it. I had some difficulties a few months back at work. Things got to tea kettle level and I blanked out in a meeting. Luckily I still have my job but it just amazed me how it’s all good until you start “acting black”. It was an invaluable lesson for me and for them. Cuz they sho nuff learned on that day. Ain’t no shucking and jiving ya bish!

                    • KNeale

                      Lmao!!! Love it! when I quit my last job, I quit the same week as 5 other people. 5 people in one week. All from one department. This wasn’t planned, we didn’t talk to each other first. Thats just how bad the org was doing and how terrible leadership was.

                    • Me

                      Nice. Mine was like a domino effect. We had all been itching & moaning all year about how ufcked up the environment had become under the new leadership, but nobody was bold enough to make moves. Once I saw my out, I took it in a big way. Waited til I confirmed my start date, and the very last request that my manager tried to “I-cut-your-check” me into, I let him have it. After that, folks were brazenly job hunting on the clock and dropping like flies.

                  • Val

                    That’s petty.

                  • JanuaryBabe

                    Hey I once went out and found myself a job in another division……another department in a new city….with a moving and living allowance…..my management allowed me to go but did not give me a going away party with a cake and the Street Car trophy (New Orleans)…..I had to sneak out during the weekend when nobody was a round because they were afraid that the 2520s that were trying to get promoted and “deserved it” we’re going to get upset! Told it to my face! I said I don’t care just get me out of here! Baaabeee……..a month later when folk found what I’d pulled they were furious!!!!

            • miss t-lee

              See…that’s definitely that bullsh*t.

            • Quirlygirly

              A supervisor once told me that perception is reality. And he perceived me to be angry..I told him his perception is never my reality and I was not so much as angry but more disappointed in the way management has been treating me and other long time staff member. I knew then it was time to go and and sought to find other employment.

              He thought that I was gonna kiss his feet and grovel..please..I know my worth. They try everything in their power to tear you down. Nope no me..

              • Val

                Yep, once they start to try to put negative labels on you then you know what’s coming next.

                • Quirlygirly

                  Their perception was I was the angry black woman..meanwhile I would be smiling and laughing. Yes, I voiced my approval/disapproval on the goings on in the department but I am a grown woman not a puppet or a yes man. Meanwhile there was a white woman who loudly disapproved of everything and was disrespectful to many of her coworkers- but no she wasn’t angry..it is laughable sometimes.

                  • Val

                    They love to try to use the angry stereotype against us. And they try to use it to silence us too. Like we’re supposed to just take whatever they throw at us.

                    • KNeale

                      I was once told in an evaluation that when I “say things like ‘fire racist’ it makes leadership feel like you resent them”. Word for word thats what she said. Is leadership self identifying as racist?

                      She wrote those words in my evaluation. In writing!! I smiled. and said “I’m aware of what the perception is.” I was waiting for them to try to play me so I could take my written evidence to court if need be.

                    • Val

                      Yep, always make sure there’s a paper trail otherwise you’ll be up the creek.

              • MostlyMax

                They stay expecting a little soft shoe and the first time you let them know it ain’t happening the clock starts counting down.

              • Jennifer

                Perception is reality? Lord, he needed a dictionary. Words mean things.

                • Quirlygirly

                  Girl – he tried it!!

                  He thought he was talking to a poorly educated fool. I was born at night but not last night. That is why he got the verbal lashing he got. He then tried to act like we was “friendly” when I left by telling me good luck. *eye roll

                  He even had the audacity to try to hit me up on Linkedin trying to put me in his network.. GTFOHWTBS!!

                • Me

                  That’s code for “it don’t matter what you say in response, from this point forward, my word is all that matters”… basically don’t waste your breath trying to defend yourself b/c the decision has already been chiseled in stone.

              • KNeale

                “What specifically about me makes you think I’m angry?”

                Then just sit and listen. Tell me what of any words I’ve said or actions I’ve taken make you say I’m angry. Because they don’t have an answer. And they are either going to say something racist or they are going to let it go. But now that conversation is on the record (of time) so in court “I asked them specifically what behavior they were talking about and they said… “

                • Quirlygirly

                  Good point. I am gonna remember that if I am in that situation again.. hopefully I won’t be but I’m black and a women so chances are I maybe in that situation faster than I think

            • JanuaryBabe

              Lol!!!!

      • Janelle Doe

        Well they better know if they try to use for any reason she has files on files on them (i assume based on the stats she keeps tweeting. And really, who gives no fucks and doesn’t hold on to ample evidence?)

        • miss t-lee

          Oh, I’m sure she covered all bases.

      • Janelle Doe

        They learned how challenging and unpredictable I could be when payroll claimed they lost my records and I owed them a refund worth half year’s pay. They learned about meticulous records that shall be shamelessly shared with all the many people cc’d on a email that day.
        (Why oh why do people cc every d*mn body?
        I took that teach people how to treat you message very seriously :-)

        • Janelle Doe

          To clarify, I replied to an email they sent with multiple cc’s

        • JanuaryBabe

          I was always the CYA Queen!!!! I kept notes like the even CIA……Talk about an audit trail…..and I am a writer so I could write your azz under the effen table!

  • Dr. She Who Reads

    “Obviously, Melissa Harris-Perry has the status, the resume, and (presumably) the bank account to exist in this fuck-less space in a way that many of us can’t.”

    I disagree. Here’s the thing, Melissa Harris-Perry is an academic first and foremost. She loved the show, and she loved the exposure of the show, but she’s a professor. She has a day job. Nerdland was her weekend gig. She was just able to bring together panels and guests and teach in a public space. I mean, she even had a syllabus for the show. For the time being, she’s just going to go back to being a b0mb professor.

    Also, MHP is a part of the legacy of audacious, bodacious Black women who don’t allow anyone to push them around. Look at her statement. She said something to the effect of not a mammy, a token, or a brown bobblehead. She established her ground right then. We should have known she was going to go out in a blaze of glory. She’s courageous. It’s not, to me, a statement of her economic security. Black women have always figured out how to make a way out of no way, bricks without straw, and meals from leftovers. She is not defined by any single position she holds. She is defined by her Blackness and her womanhood.

    Edit: And I wish more Black people had the courage to do the same.

    • Damon Young

      I’m not saying that she did this because she’s (presumably) economically secure. Just that, for someone who isn’t as secure and has a status where missing a paycheck for them might mean missing a car payment or rent check, it might be more difficult to exist in a f*ck-less space

      • Dr. She Who Reads

        But then I go back to this being her second job. She ain’t quit her day job (and probably because she never felt truly comfortable in the MSNBC space). The freedom comes from the knowledge that, presumably, Wake Forest pays her rent and car note.

        But, yeah, there’s definitely a bit of luxury in her ability to “scorch the earth,” but I have a feeling she would have done the same whether or not she had another job.

        • Sigma_Since 93

          And her husband makes bank too. So what if she lost a little disposable income.

          • Dr. She Who Reads

            Right! Although I’m not saying she quit because she’s got money. I’m saying she quit because she’s brave.

    • Me

      “Melissa Harris-Perry is an academic first and foremost”

      That doesn’t mean she wasn’t storing her coins and putting plans in motion specifically for this potential setback. Lord knows that’s exactly what I’m doing at my job. If my bosses knew that my day job wasn’t/isn’t/will never be my end goal, they’d have found a reason to let me go years ago. The thing is with a lot of corporations, they assume you need them more than they’ll ever need you, and they play on that. That’s why they get away with wage gaps and isht. If they knew folks were not only ready and willing, but also ABLE to jump ship at any moment, they’d start singing a different tune. And I wouldn’t be surprised if MHP has a backup to her academic career as well because we all know saddity college kids like to protest who gets to teach them. Climbing ladders is a corporate illusion. All it means is that you’re signing up for a lifetime of kissing as* and begging for a paycheck. If you play the game right, you can get to a point where you’re working just to use that extra money as a float to fast track the growth of your real hustle even though your real hustle is already enough to fully support itself/yourself without the help.

      • Dr. She Who Reads

        She’s tenured, and she has the Anna Julia Cooper Project, which travels with her wherever she goes. She definitely has multiple streams.

      • Epsilonicus

        “That doesn’t mean she wasn’t storing her coins and putting plans in motion specifically for this potential setback. ”

        She makes enough money that she can afford to save for this type of situation. And has a contract where they can’t just fire her outright for this issue. Most of us regular folks aint got it like that

        • Me

          I never buy into the tenure hype or any employment contracts that seem to make a person unfireable. If they want to bad enough they’ll find a way. And I’m sure she’s smart enough to know the same. My bet (hope) is that she’s juggling balls that folks can’t even see up in the air.

      • DebKII

        Thats what you HAVE to do. My granddad calls it “eff the white man money”. Calls me to ask how my “eff the white man” stash is doing.

        Im not sure how many songs have to be made for us to get they dont really care about us.

        Currently on week one of eff the white man money, and let me tell you it was glorious to pass that two weeks notice after arguing over BHM coverage.

        • L8Comer

          Congrats!

        • Bkmews

          LOL, that’s the same stash known as FU money, for women who are plotting their exit strategy from a lover / spouse who turns out to be abusive.

          • DebKII

            There are so many parallels between racial abuse and sexual abuse that doesn’t surprise me. It’s all about power, and in this society, money is power.

  • Jay Howard Gatsby

    I both Stan for and Stand With MHP.

    But yo – this tweet she sent MSNBC with an Angela Bassett gif conflating the network’s whitewashing to Trump’s little slogan?? This tea DELICIOUS.

    • Me

      Yes!!! I straight GUZZLED that tea.

  • KingsCounty

    She hit em with the “men lie women lie, numbers dont”

  • CaramelSundae42

    I have been waiting for THIS!!! Yes to All of This…. MSNBC should’ve known it was coming with the Drake GIF clanking bottles…. she didn’t have not one care for that BRIDGE….

  • Very well put, sir. I must say, ever since Bree Newsome went up that pole, Black women have been on a tear.

    • You meant since the beginning of time, Black women have been on a tear.

      We been about the business of taking care of business. We just have camera phones and “share” links to spread the word now. We been here, kicking a s s and keeping our edges intact while doing so.

      • miss t-lee

        “You meant since the beginning of time, Black women have been on a tear.”

        Say it.

      • Naw, this is new. Been there, yes. Been there cutting up and daring to be called on it. This is like what White women thought they were doing when they were burning their bras.

        • Ess Tee

          This really isn’t new though. Behold a great moment in Black History:

          Happy Black Women’s History Month!

          • She like, “maaaaaaaaaaaaan if y’all don’t get out of here with this ole bull shi t. I got to go put this pot of oxtails on ‘fore these kids come home.”

            • miss t-lee

              YES.
              This is one of my all-time favorite historical photos.

            • Ess Tee

              Sis was NOT with the sh its.

          • Quirlygirly

            In the second pic, it looks like she is smiling and she got her purse still on her arm!

            • Forever unbreakable and unbothered. Black women really are magic.

            • TeeChantel

              That headband is still in place tho. #CantRuinMyPretty

          • TeeChantel

            Uh, I can’t believe how that woman is being manhandled in the second pic. Reminds me of the girl that got pushed around…no, assaulted… at the Donald Trump rally.

            • Quirlygirly

              That made me mad. White men ALWAYS want to push and hit on black women. It pisses me all the way off. Their ego can not take a black women who is proud so they lash out physically by trying to chop her down.

            • Chile, I cried such hot, angry tears at that video this morning. Pigs, the lot of them.

      • Jay Howard Gatsby

        you right. It’s just never been documented like it has been now.

        Come through, Black Woman Dopeness. Come through!!

  • porqpai

    You closed it out with straight GOLD at the end. Good words.

  • miss t-lee

    Hey…if you’re in a position to go full scorched earth, you take that opportunity.
    I ain’t mad at her.

    Towards the end of 2014 I started a new job. Within the first two hours of starting I knew that it wasn’t gonna work. I stayed there about 6 weeks before I gave them a two day notice and peaced out. I worked for a lady who could best be described as Satan’s minion, so best believe she got cussed out six ways from Sunday before I quit.
    ‘Twas glorious.
    20 years from now I’ll remember making that woman cry and I’ll smile. Good for you MHP.

    • I can’t wait until I can make my exit with hellfire and brimstone.

      THEY GON LEARN THAT DAY.

      • miss t-lee

        It’s so awesome. I recommend everyone try it at least once.

        • TeeChantel

          I did this and they said I’ll be begging to get my old position back. Instead, they called me.

          • miss t-lee

            Funny how it works, eh?
            Doors close, but others open right up.

            • TeeChantel

              Yes ma’am. God is good :-)

              • miss t-lee

                Hallelu!

          • L8Comer

            I like your avi

            • TeeChantel

              Thanks!!

        • I used to take umbrage at being looked at in my office as the “black girl you don’t want to f with,” but I revel in that title now. Fools know I’m not the one.

          • miss t-lee

            Oh girl…I live for it.
            LIVE.

            • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

              I was ‘let go’ at the onset of the global financial crisis and I wanted to go off, but unfortuately I’m in a professional industry where all the firms talk to one another and I would have certainly been blacklisted if I have gone off on them, plus they were kinda fair to me with the severance.

              • miss t-lee

                I understand layoffs with severance. Been there, done that.

          • KNeale

            Yes lord! And with the type of work I do they hired me on the expectation that I AM the one which it makes it so sweet. They only hire certain types of black people here (college degree, can talk their white liberal mumbo jumbo) which is funny because they claim to be a liberal organization that stands for racial justice. So when I get here (with my college degree) they think I want so badly to be a part of their team. To be validated by them. And when they realize I AM NOT the one its a joy to behold.

            White people want us to want them because thats how they get their power. They want us to feel like we need them to validate us, they want us to feel like we need them to survive, or that we need them to be successful and when they see that they do not have that power over you oh boy they start acting crazy and start doing crazy things that can get them all kinds of sued which makes me even safer in my unabashed ability give zero fuxgs!

            If you haven’t tried the IM NOT THE ONE lunch special, I highly suggest it. Best meal you ever ate.

            • And a side of cookies. Folks here are scared to talk about the management practices, which are oppressive and sometimes borderline illegal. I’ve spoken up about it before, which is why I’ve since been relieved of my ability to attend interdepartmental meetings, just the ones that are relevant to my position.

              • KNeale

                LOL!!!!!

                what did they say?

                I’ve been secretly barred from meetings and the reasons they gave (though the multiple parties asked to deliver the news cuz they puzzee!) were veiled. Never straight up.

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  Yall done mad my day with this.

                  I been wanting so bad to quit this fucking job but I got nothing set up and nobody calling me back. I think I blacklisted myself when I sent out an agency wide-email to the entire staff questioning why upper management tried to fuck us over for a holiday party last Christmas that took months to plan but was only given 12 hour notice that we couldn’t leave early for the party as promised.

                  So I did what any self respecting Black man making less than $50k but stuck doing the job of 3 people would do…….I blacked out on them. Politely of course. (because they charged us money for this event, and of course, you can’t get a refund if you can’t go).

                  So I been on their s h i t list ever since that day. Now all I do is stay on VSB, take 90 minute lunch breaks, and talk mad s h i t all day while doing all my work on a timely basis…WAITING…WAITING…for that faithful day to come true.

                  • KNeale

                    Lmao!!! I felt this. Not being allowed to do fun things other staff was doing was a real point of contention at a previous job. It may seem petty but thats how I know how little you value me as a person and are just straight up using me as mindless labor! *puts three fingers in the air* I’m with you brotha!

                    Also, informational interviews and networking. Find ways to talk to people about jobs outside of job apps/job interviews.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      I’m going to have to get training when it comes to networking. I’m not good with investing in people, and I’m sure that’s the main reason I’ve not found good jobs…especially working for the government…it’s never about how good you do a job but rather who you know.

                      Lady lemme tell you…I’ve done everything I could do here, even tried to become a supervisor and still have the clout of one even though I never made it but…they just don’t care. It’s a copy and paste job through and through, and when I read about people like yourself and the experiences you all have had, it’s so similar but distant at the same time.

            • miss t-lee
          • MostlyMax

            That was my brand at the company I worked at. I would’ve been worried about it when I was younger but I gloried in it when I got older. They knew what was up. And when they didn’t they learned.

            • Yes! All it takes is one good time set the stage. I’m here for it.

          • Erica Nicole Griffin

            I was unfairly fired two years ago. I wish I had the gumption (and advance notice) to prepare closing remarks. I walked out silent. Hubby wanted to sue. Didn’t to that either. I don’t regret not suing but I do wish I could go back to give them a bit of Claire Huxtable v. Vanessa the night she went to “…have big fun with The Wretched”.

            • And did you have “big fun” Vanessa?

              Felicia killed that scene.

              • NoGames

                In BAL-TI-MORE having BIG FUN! I just cried laughing… they way she chopped up those words!!! Whewww! That is the way to tell someone ’bout they own self!!!!

            • fxd8424

              There are always signs. Always. Signs give you the opportunity to give them “advance notice.”

              • Erica Nicole Griffin

                I must admit that I was always a sore thumb in that place. But did I think I would be treated that way? Even if I did get fired would I be fired in the way that I was?! Nope. I was floored and embarrassed. Just marched out and cried in my car. Next time I will give them some good ol’ fashioned MHP!

            • Queen BL

              I was fired from a job a few years ago. I saw it coming due to the reconstruction of the department but what I didn’t see coming was when they tried to deny me unemployment stating I was fired because I was “incompetent” and other various lies.

              What they didn’t expect was for this black girl to clap back so loudly. I took them straight to court and I had so many email archives from my manager stating how well of a job I did, that in court all my manager could do was look crazy.

              I was the only person of color at the company, the youngest person at the company and the only woman in my department so I’m sure they thought they could get away with demonizing a young black girl. I didn’t go off on them when they fired me…. instead I got my payback in court when it was ruled they needed to PAY ME MY MONEY…. ALL OF IT! lol

              That ‘I’M NOT THE ONE’ meal was one of the best things I’ve ever tasted.

              • Erica Nicole Griffin

                Not a meal, tho! LOL

                Hope this never happens again, but if it does, I’m getting what you’re having!

              • Janelle Doe

                Whistling RiRi’s BBHMM right now. Glad it worked out for you. :-)

        • fxd8424

          Definitely empowering. At least once. I still smile when I think about it.

          • miss t-lee

            Ain’t it?

    • porqpai

      But her scorched game in this instance has been deliciously Flawless!

      • miss t-lee

        Indeed it has.

    • MostlyMax

      I had nearly the same experience in 2012. Started the gig, peeped the game and knew I wasn’t long for that world. Unfortunately I didn’t make anyone weep. I did however come to work (on my birthday no less which I never do) with the biggest fro and the reddest lip. I was fired two weeks later.

      • miss t-lee

        You represented as best you could.
        https://49.media.tumblr.com/e1017e3f39e29ba3b0a72ed205b26425/tumblr_ntgduuX81H1sdrvg6o1_500.gif

        I didn’t plan to cuss her out…you just know those situations when you’ve done all your can to keep it together, and then somebody just tap dances on that nerve? Yeah…

        • MostlyMax

          She was asking for it and she got it. The broads at the spot I rocked the fro at were trying to Mean Girl me. I seriously considered flying to San Fran to choke one of them out. But I remembered my mortgages and rocked the fro instead.

          • miss t-lee

            I can feel that.

    • PaddyfotePrincess

      “Satan’s minion.” I chuckled at that, but I applaud you for making a move. Sometimes the stress isn’t worth it.

      • miss t-lee

        It definitely wasn’t. Bump that.

      • Quirlygirly

        Sometimes the stress isn’t worth it.

        I say this all the time. My sanity and well being is worth more than money.

        • PaddyfotePrincess

          Stress is detrimental to one’s health and piece of mind. I ain’t about that life.

      • rhymeswithbrucelee

        All of this. I was all the way stressed and miserable, went out on the job market, got offered $$$ that made my then current employer look down right disrespectful. I gave notice, dropped that farewell email, and was walked out the building minutes later. The glory of the sunshine that kissed my face that day….

    • Kam

      I wish I had the balls to do what you did. I am in a similar situation currently. My first day at a team meeting, I knew that these folks were crazy and my boss was the head crazy. That was 15 months ago. Now, Im super stressed out currently but I make too much money to quit at the moment. My mom keeps telling me to just make the move sooner than later and act a fool on your last day lol

      • miss t-lee

        *hugs*
        Listen to Mom though. Plot and plan carefully til you get set up elsewhere. Then, let em have it.

      • Quirlygirly

        Your mom is correct. I always keep an eye out on things in the workforce..good opportunities come around but in the meantime try to stay calm and sane. A stressful work place can be harmful to your body.

        • KNeale

          My stepmother, who can hustle like nobody business is always telling me: your resume should always be done and up to date, you should always be looking for opportunities, and you should always be networking. No matter if you trying to leave now or next year.

          • Quirlygirly

            My resume stay updated. Trust I will not get caught slipping on that at all..

      • KNeale

        Also, save. Make a savings plan. Have as much money as possible tucked away for a time when you might be in between jobs because someone came for you crazy and a chair got flipped and security was called and now you at home sending resumes out while sitting in your drawers. I’m trying to get my money right, now that I’m making enough to save a few dollars (literally a few) to give myself some kind of cushion if I have to suddenly find a new job on a short notice. I gotta ways to go cuz shorty behind on her bills so pray for me.

      • fxd8424

        Money is nice but it ain’t everything if your hair is falling out from the stress.

    • I’ve done it. I walked into work, got my work throw blanket (cause the AC in that joint), and told them, “Yesterday was my last day.” I have no idea how they reacted cause I didn’t turn around.

      • miss t-lee

        YASSSSS. I love it.

      • fxd8424

        Yep. I call it a get your purse day. Get your purse and be out.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      No wonder you so prolific with the shade.

      • miss t-lee

        It’s in the DNA.

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      “Got cussed out six ways from Sunday”

      ??????????

      • miss t-lee

        *smile*

    • fxd8424

      “I worked for a lady who could best be described as Satan’s minion, so best believe she got cussed out six ways from Sunday before I quit.”

      A kindred spirit.

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