Theory & Essay

lemme downgrade ya: two (probable) reasons why steve mcnair stepped out

steve-mcnair-sahel-kazemi-pictures

from his brazen infidelity to his choosing of someone extremely younger, poorer, less educated, and whiter, steve mcnair’s death at the hands of his mistress sahel kazemi and her subsequent suicide is a virtual petri dish of black relationship sore spots.

yet, after a weeks worth of conversation with different women, the single most recurring question about this situation has been less why did he cheat? and more why the hell would he downgrade??
meet bill online download
despite never meeting him and possessing a personal “no exceptions/excuses” rule in regards to cheating and downgrading, i am aware of the thought process that could lead to him (temporarily) ditching a doting and attractive wife who personally nursed his injuries while he was still playing for a 20 year high school drop-out, and today i’ll attempt to break it down in two parts.

1. the freak factor

occasionally, you’ll see me use some variant of “to further vsb’s crime fighting commitments as a segue introducing whatever topic i have in mind that day. i know it probably seems like a useless vsb cliche, but that phrase does have a practical purpose. “well-informed and practical” people equals “good relationships”, “good relationships” equal “happy people”, and “happy people” equals “less crime download crazy eights .”

i’m bringing this up because i’m aware that there are some men who need to have frequent sex to basically keep them out of prison. sure, we all want to have consistent coitus, but there are men out there who are literal threats to murder people and small farm animals without any regular gotdamn. according to chris rock,  our first black president was a no-coitus killer (“nck” for short), and i’m assuming steve mcnair was one as well

after reading that they were married for over a decade and had two children together (four altogether) i’m going to assume that they probably didn’t have frequent sex anymore. for a typical nck, the only way to make up for infrequent sex is if the semi-regular sex you do have is the freakiest, most degenerate, crackheaded crystal meth jungle possum mating possible.

i’m going to also assume that mcnair either,

1. wasn’t able to convince his wife to be this base,

or

2. was just unwilling to do that sh*t to her, understandably unable to synthesize “lovely wife and mother” and “four dollar f*ck slut” in his head.

this is where she…

sahel

…steps in.

download american crime an

some pictures say one thousand words. hers? three (“i’ll do anything”) download the holy mountain dvd , and a seasoned nck can sniff out a freak needle in a chaste haystack a mile away. it was only a matter of time.

2. the glory (days)

the magnificent ambersons online

despite being a millionaire superstar quarterback, in his home steve mcnair was probably just like any other middle-aged married man, drinking oj straight from the carton, losing socks, and silently shaking his head when being reminded by his wife to separate the recyclables.

with sahel kazemi though, he was still able to be “steve mcnair, millionaire superstar” instead of  “steve mcnair, can you run to walmart and pick up some bleach? oh, btw, i gotta go to the kids soccer practice later, so you’ll hafta cook or pick up some take-out“, and, for a person glaring at his prime in the rearview mirror, there’s a definite (if fleeting) allure to being around someone who thinks the sun rises and sets in your pants

i don’t want this to come across as supportive or even sympathetic to his actions. while noone deserves to die for desiring an undry d*ck, he’d still be filming anti-suicide psa’s if he left a 10 dollar tip at dave and busters several months ago instead of an erect one.

still, understanding helps. you can’t fight crime without it

—the champ

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • shay_d_lady

    I t hought he and his wife were seperated? I mean at the time of death she said she hadnt seen or spoken to him in 4 days. He also was pretty much living in the apartment where he was killed.

    but if he was cheating.. cheaters cheat because they are scared and selfish..
    scared to leave, whether it be because they fear life alone (women in most cases but not exclusively) or scared of being the bad guy (men in most cases but not exclusively) and selfish… still having everything they want without having to work or sacrifice to get it….

    • shay_d_lady

      @shay_d_lady, add “probably” to the second paragraph since I aint no expert or nothin…..LOL

      cheaters cheat (probably_) because they are scared and selfish..
      scared to leave, whether it be because they fear life alone (women in most cases but not exclusively) or scared of being the bad guy (men in most cases but not exclusively) and selfish… still having everything they want without having to work or sacrifice to get it….

      • Selah

        @shay_d_lady, it’s really sad that his selfishness (and her craziness) has resulted in those 4 kids now being father-less. Boo to poor decisions.

        • charli skipper

          @Selah,
          I know. I feel sorry for his kids on so many levels. It’s terrible that they probably have to hear people discuss the circumstances of their father’s death, too. Such complicated feelings they probably have.

          • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

            @charli skipper,
            the kids get hurt the most people forget that

        • Gem Possible

          @Selah,

          my sentiments exactly

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….

          @Selah,
          Boo to poor decisions.

          i agree

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Selah,

          jason whitlock from fox sports wrote an article about this last week. i originally had it linked in the entry, but i took it out because it didnt connect the way i wanted it to.

          http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/9777174/Don%27t-be-so-quick-to-make-McNair-a-hero

          • Selah

            @The Champ,

            “children shouldn’t have to settle for anything less than their father’s very best effort.”

            iConcur. But his kids did. Anddddd now I’m sad all over again. Shouldn’t have come back to the post right after waking up.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @The Champ, its generally hard for me appreciate anything that whitlock says.

            i read this article last week. i don’t remember anything he said. so I’ll just disagree on principle.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @The Champ,

            its generally hard for me appreciate anything that whitlock says.

            you’re not a fan of him or his writinh style (or both)?

          • http://lmbao.org Dorian G.

            @The Champ,

            Whitlock is an idiot. Its actually my barometer to let me know if I’m on the right side or not of an issue.

          • http://mysixcents.wordpress.com klysha

            @The Champ, don’t know anything about Whitlock status as an idiot but I can appreciate what he’s saying here…. the kids deserved more out of their father….this chick was closer to his kids age than he was to hers yet he deprived his boys of his time to spend quality time with her….sickening…. no need to repeat that he didn’t necessarily deserve what he got…(but who am I to say he whether he did or didn’t)

  • http://brandonsaintrandy.wordpress.com Brandon St. Randy

    First off. His wife knew what was up. Dude was mad reckless and was known for keeping a side breezy or three around. He’s an NFL quarterback. If you marry an athlete, women, this is what you sign up for. There is no such thing as a free lunch. You get put up in the lap of luxury and have all your whims taken care of by a man, most likely he will also be doing something similar with a sidepiece. Girl I went to school with is married to an NBA player. That IS their deal. She knows what’s up. She accepts it because the lifestyle is vastly superior to being married to Brad, who will top out as VP of accounting at a mid-sized widget firm. People make compromises. I know women hate to hear this, but if you don’t like it, don’t marry an athlete. I’m attracted to Cherokee D’ass, but I know better than to marry her. I know who she is and what she does. As far as where Steve went wrong, folks gotta stop with these “jump-off pluses.” You don’t go parasailing with your jump-off, you leave $50 on the dresser so she can catch a cab home. You damn sure don’t cosign for an Escalade and make her make the payments on a Ruby Tuesday waittress salary. Also, to her whiteness, her name suggests she’s some kind of A-rab. Now Tennessee is a country a** state and Steve McNair is a county a** ninja. That Al Qaeda strange trim is the most exotic thing he’s seen in years. And she messed it up for all of them. Not only can’t her people get on a plane without arousing suspicion, now they can’t even be lowly jumpoffs anymore.

    • Selah

      @Brandon St. Randy,

      “now they can’t even be lowly jumpoffs anymore.”

      if the rest of what you wrote about athletes cheating is true, then A-rab women and all other women are still gonna be fair game.. It’s gonna be “d*mn, that ho was crazy” … “I’m glad MY jump-off aint crazy like McNair’s” …. and they gon keep on keepin on.

      • http://brandonsaintrandy.wordpress.com Brandon St. Randy

        @Selah, I agree with you. I think folks are gonna cool out for a minute while it’s still on the news and then get right back into the thick.

    • Gem Possible

      @Brandon St. Randy,

      As far as where Steve went wrong, folks gotta stop with these “jump-off pluses.” You don’t go parasailing with your jump-off, you leave $50 on the dresser so she can catch a cab home. You damn sure don’t cosign for an Escalade and make her make the payments on a Ruby Tuesday waittress salary.

      lmao indeed!!

      and she wasnt “a-rab”. she was iranian. which, actually, may be worse :)

      • http://brandonsaintrandy.wordpress.com Brandon St. Randy

        @Gem Possible, I find your racial insensitivity galling.

        • Gem Possible

          @Brandon St. Randy,

          that’s ok

    • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

      @Brandon St. Randy, agree with you on the fact that Steve was a bamma and that Kim Kardashian stunt-double was that “x-otic hype-notic” that will make a ninja lose his dayam mind. “Sunshine” had this fool buying Escalades and paragliding in broad daylight and traipsing around her apartment like a puppy. How else could you explain it? SPRUNG N DUMB You know this wasn’t Stevie Ballgame’s first time dilly-dallying w/trollops and/or skanks. I bet his boys were fit to be tied over this.

      I am writing a sequel to AMERICAN BEAUTY featuring McNair called AMERICAN BAMMA

      • miss t-lee

        @T. Troy Stewart,
        I’m glad you waited until this week to type this…lmao

        • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

          @miss t-lee, ha ha ha had to find that funny

      • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

        @T. Troy Stewart, That chick isn’t a Kim look alike. Sure she’s ‘check-other’ but that’s where the similarities end. We can tell from the pic in the blue dress that she doesn’t even have any ass. I’m a woman and I can tell the square shapedness of her from how she’s sitting. Don’t put Kim in the same sentence as this chick…OMG, did I just defend Kim K.? Fug it. Yes. I fuggs with Kim K.!

        • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

          @Hostess, that’s why I called her a “stunt double”, not a “look-alike”.

          • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

            @T. Troy Stewart,
            yea after a few shots lol ya might think she could be one of the kara$$iasn’s cousin or sumthin but her face jus aint worth a escalade to me

        • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

          @Hostess, and once again, I just don’t get the Kim K appeal. Some Ninjas won’t vote but they will fight you in the streets over a Justus Skanks star like Kimmy The Boo. I bet Stevie Airhead was the same way about that crazy rookie, too.

          • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

            @T. Troy Stewart, I fuggs with her because she does the best she can with what she has. Other (Black) women hate on her but there’s really no reason. If she wasn’t on TV, men would still flock to her. That’s not her fault. Matter of fact, if they wanna hate on anyone it should be her parents because she’s a product of their combined genetic code.

          • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

            @Hostess, “she does the best she can with what she has”

            is that the best you got? lol

            She’s a good looking lady, I’ll give her that. I just don’t understand why she is such a media sensation. Once you stop looking at her and she opens her mouth, the spell is broken. Woman, be quiet and pick up that pencil I just dropped on the floor…that rolled under that chair over there…yeah, that’s it…way underneath there.

            in that department, she’s a big improvement over Paris Hilton and I don’t know why she’s a “star” either. I hear plenty of explanations but something in the water does not compute for me.

            I just need to take the blue pill and shut up.

          • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

            @T. Troy Stewart, Yes. She has no real talent. She’s gotten really far on a big ass and a chex tape. Hell!

          • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

            @T. Troy Stewart,

            I just don’t get the Kim K appeal. Some Ninjas won’t vote but they will fight you in the streets over a Justus Skanks star like Kimmy The Boo.

            You know men are suckers for women with booty that aren’t Black (see Jennifer Lopez, Jenna Von Oy)…smh.

          • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

            @Stuff Ghetto People Like,
            lol @ “Jenna Von Oy” forgot about Six

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @T. Troy Stewart,

            “I just don’t understand why she is such a media sensation.”

            lol, thing is, shes not really that much of a media sensation. sure, she has her own show, but so does toya carter. i kind of think she’s more relevant in the black community than anywhere else.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Brandon St. Randy,

      Also, to her whiteness, her name suggests she’s some kind of A-rab.

      lol, she was actually iranian. still, euro or not, the fact that she’s considerably lighter skinned than he is is definitely part of that petri dish

      • http://brandonsaintrandy.wordpress.com Brandon St. Randy

        @The Champ, In the context of this particular piece of ignorance, Iranians are certainly A-rabs as far as I’m concerned. Also to be included in the list of A-rabs:
        -Turkish people
        -Greeks
        -Armenians
        -Certain Mexicans (tell me Luis Guzman ain’t Saddam Hussein’s brother)
        -Generally, anyone with a lot of arm hair
        -Jews
        -Dark skinned Chinese people (Filipinos, Viet Cong, Tamil Tigers, etc.)
        -Cute white girls that you don’t want to admit are white (Sloan from Entourage, Monica Belluci, etc.)

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Brandon St. Randy, i’m with you on Sloan. for some reason, i just can’t reconcile her whiteness cuz i like her so much.

          but your comment is reminiscent of the scene in The Brothers where Bill Bellamy’s mother just references every other race as a “white woman with xyz…”

          i love ignorance, btw.

        • miss t-lee

          @Brandon St. Randy,
          “-Generally, anyone with a lot of arm hair”

          *loud laugh*

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Brandon St. Randy,

          -Cute white girls that you don’t want to admit are white (Sloan from Entourage, Monica Belluci, etc.)

          LOL

        • TLC

          @Brandon St. Randy,

          lol!…awww hunnie you don’t have to admit Sloan is white because she isn’t:-)….she’s Morocaan and I think Israeli

        • V Renee

          @Brandon St. Randy,

          I’m extra late, but this was hilarious.

    • Ivy St.

      @Brandon St. Randy,
      “If you marry an athlete, women, this is what you sign up for. ”

      Are you saying it’s okay?!?!

      • http://brandonsaintrandy.wordpress.com Brandon St. Randy

        @Ivy St., You’ll have to ask the people that sign up for that. I ain’t never married no athlete so I’ve never had to make that moral call. The compromises and deals people make in their relationships are their business, not mine.

        http://brandonsaintrandy.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/romne-finance-part-ii-the-trust-issue/

      • overit?

        @Ivy St., I don’t think he’s saying its ok, but he does have a point. That lifestyle seems to be par for the course when it comes to those in the sports and entertainment business.

        • Ivy St.

          @overit?,
          so do you believe that ALL athletes cheat or that they cheat any more then the average man or woman?

          • overit?

            @Ivy St., I believe they are put into more situations that have potential for cheating, more so than the average man or woman.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “I believe they are put into more situations that have potential for cheating, more so than the average man or woman.”

            good answer and sh*t

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Ivy St., okay and par-the-course are two totally different discussions.

        it’s not okay to get married and have jump-off stew every sunday thru saturday. however, should you enter into such a relationship the surprise really shouldn’t exist either.

        face it, the real world aint real for superstar athletes…unless you’re michael vick and somehow get sent to jail for FINANCING your boys fighting dogs.

        • Ivy St.

          @Panama Jackson,
          Funny you should say this. I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine who told me about a relative marrying a professional athlete. I said, “oh that sucks.” He became quite offensive.
          He for some odd reason didn’t think that all athletes are cheats (maybe because he was an athlete) and that athletes don’t cheat more than the average. It’s just that they are in the spotlight more. I think my point was lost…
          The fact that some cheat doesn’t mean they all do it. I think we justify it by saying they all do, when they all don’t.

          • Sheffield Swats

            @Ivy St., I think a lot of them do, because they have more opportunity to cheat and because a lot of women will do anything for a Louis Vuitton bag. That being said, there are athletes who are faithful to their spouses and I think the common link among them are they have had failed marriages before or they waited to get hitched once they were past their slut years or they “found Jesus”.

            It may sound crazy to say, but I have a lot of respect for both men and women who have enough self-awareness to realize they’re not out of their bed-hopping period. And a lot of athletes actually fall into peer-pressure marriages (i.e. with a girl looks and acts like a NBA/NFL wife or with the high school sweetheart that’s been “down from the start”) because they think that’s just what folks do at a certain age. Still not a good foundation for a faithful marriage.

    • overit?

      @Brandon St. Randy, her name is Iranian, to me at least.

      • Gem Possible

        @overit?,

        she is, in fact, iranian. at least, that’s where she was born.

    • Monk

      @Brandon St. Randy,

      Whether she’s Arab or Iranian, history tells us that they have no problem with KILLING THEIRSELVES and YOU. This is why I don’t phuck with them nor white women. Thank you.

      • http://brandonsaintrandy.wordpress.com Brandon St. Randy

        @Monk, Yes, because the Negro people are so nonviolent towards each other. Think I’ll throw on a red shirt and take a brisk jog around Compton for a while

        • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

          I wonder what the Christies have to say about all of this LOL. I can recall people straight clowning Doug Christie’s wifey for the extreme ways she went about their relationship. Doesn’t seem so funny nowadays…

          • miss t-lee

            @T. Troy Stewart,
            I’m sorry…I don’t even approve of how Doug Christie’s wife acts.
            That ish is bananas.
            If ya gotta do all that, is it even worth it?

            But hey…if you like it, I love it.

          • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

            @miss t-lee, I agree…that is not for me, that would drive me insane within two days and I’m being modest. Mrs. Christie got some issues but she wasn’t about to let groupies and assorted women be among them.

            I think Doug puts up with it because if he were to get a divorce, she would beat him like a pinata and then chop him up into stew meat and eat his remains.

          • miss t-lee

            @T. Troy Stewart,
            Yep…there are some much deeper issues than possible cheating…lol

        • overit?

          @Brandon St. Randy, LMAO. God’s speed!

        • Selah

          @Brandon St. Randy,

          you’ll be fine with the red shirt. The blue one…. not so much.

        • TLC

          @Brandon St. Randy,

          You may not be able to jog in your red shirt but you rarely hear about Keisha off-ing herself and Dante….she may throw some hot grits on him but at least he gets to live…..

        • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

          @Brandon St. Randy,

          LOL! Only in Athens Park…

          Bond.

    • Ivy St.

      @Brandon St. Randy,
      “Tennessee is a country a** state ”
      yeah but he’s a football player. I’m sure he’s seen and been with plenty of exotic women. Don’t let the country fool you!

      • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

        @Ivy St.,

        I’ve seen this in another thread somewhere. . . just because a man has been with lots of exotic women in his past doesn’t mean he is now s3x-exhausted and should not be tempted any further.

        Women and eating carrots for ten years are on two different levels. I’d bet even rabbits give up carrots before they give up f*cking.

        • Ivy St.

          @kamakula,
          “I’d bet even rabbits give up carrots before they give up f*cking.”
          Thanks for the laugh!

    • 12345

      @Brandon St. Randy, Oddly, Nashville can be pretty diverse. For example, we have the largest Kurdish population in the US. I know you were joking, but there are a lot of dumb people around so I felt the need to add that.

      • http://brandonsaintrandy.wordpress.com Brandon St. Randy

        @12345, No kidding. NashVegas trying to go international, huh. Oh, add Kurds to my list as potential A-rabs. And most mixed black people.

        • Gem Possible

          @Brandon St. Randy,

          lmao. i guess i’m a-rab?? i have been mistaken for one on more than one occasion.

          • http://mysixcents.wordpress.com klysha

            @Gem Possible, me too I guess and I’m not mixed…well not first generation mixed…go back about two generations and the racial stew starts brewing

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @Brandon St. Randy,

      were you at ____’s house when “her” husband came through with her sister’s ex husband? They were in a white expedition… I heard the wedding was CRAZY. They had spelmanites all over trying to snag them one; even had a little incident with one of the ballers girls and a spellygirl about to get her wig split.
      One day B–we gonna have to gchat/email to figure out our degrees of separation…

      Bond.

  • An Island

    Evolution (and that late night urge more specifically) is a crazy thing. I literally looked at that picture of her in the blue dress and thought, “Hmmm, she’s really not that good looking, and she killed her man, and she’s dead . . . but if I was taking that picture that night . . . .”

    We exist today because chex for the sake of chex (not anything reasoned or pure) has been one of the consistent human desires since the dawn of man. I’ve come to grips with it. At least old boy went out in his sleep.

    • charli skipper

      @An Island,
      men are so cheap.

      • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

        @charli skipper, they sure are, gurl. I don’t know what you all see in them. I am so glad that I’m a lesbian.

        • 8th Wonder

          *cackle*

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

          @T. Troy Stewart, u dumb as shyt. love it.

        • charli skipper

          @T. Troy Stewart,
          don’t make fun of my FEELINGS!!!

          • charli skipper

            Troooooooooy.

          • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

            @charli skipper, I am sorry about everything but the lesbian part.

    • Selah

      @An Island,

      “chex for the sake of chex (not anything reasoned or pure) has been one of the consistent human desires since the dawn of man”

      but how come men/women can’t control that desire? I mean… that’s a sucky reason to die – over an inability or unwillingness or whatever to control that desire to just have random chex with people who aren’t your spouse/partner.

      • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

        @Selah, I think men can control the desire. The real questions is, do they really want to.

        With women give it up freely, KNOWING, the men are committed or married, and willing to keep the little discrestion to themselves, it seems like they really have nothing to lose.

        After all, to them, I don’t think they see infidelity as deeply as women do. To them, it’s just a release.

        • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

          @Nicki Sunshine, I think men can control the desire. The real questions is, do they really want to.

          sigh, I really wanted to talk about who was the better black man, Fred G. Sanford or George Jefferson…

          • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

            @T. Troy Stewart, Enlighten me. :)

          • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

            @Nicki Sunshine, I feel a lot of this jump off stuff can be prevented…

            by now Oprah has hipped you all to the fact that we men are dawgs. If Oprah said it, it’s truth.

            Now that you have the knowledge and knowlege is power and what not, can’t all have a teleconference and declair a CROSS YOUR LEGS until that man has proven himself worthy of thine loins?

            Just tell dude that he can’t be married, he can’t be a he-hoe, he can’t be giving Shawn Kemp and that Henry dude a run for the baby making money, you know the rest….

            after they pass those test, just do one more thing…

            hold off on breaking him off for one year. One, 1, I Alpha, Uno, etc…

            you got what we want, surely if you mean anything to the dude, he’ll be there at the end of the year, right?

          • Dante_Alexander

            @T. Troy Stewart,

            We’re talking the actual characters, or the philandering men who played them?

            Even though gay as “‘Toine and Blaine” Sherman “Him”sley likey to play da rolling stone… Ask Carl Winslow and Philip Banks.

          • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

            @Dante_Alexander, the characters! the characters! I don’t want to know what Carl and Unca Phil are doing on the dl either lol

          • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

            @T. Troy Stewart, I agree with you. I think women need to be more responsible about who they let “in” those slippery walls.

            But some struggle with, “if I won’t do it, someone else will.” I’ve done it PA-LENTY times in my day. What we have to realize is, “so what. Let his a$$ go.”

            Personally, I can’t say that I am able to wait an entire year. lol. I have a great man now that waited for me but I couldn’t wait a whole year. I did wait until we were in an exclusive RELATIONSHIP though.

          • http://www.museacdonline.com pgh muse

            @T. Troy Stewart,

            I’ll add that once you get him, do what you have to to make him happy, if he is doing the same for you. That’s one way to keep him away from the Sahel Kazemi’s of the world. Long term relationships breakdown on a lot of levels for a lot of different reasons. And these breakdowns usually come from the actions of both parties.

          • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

            @Nicki Sunshine, most hardlegs ain’t gonna wait around a week, nevermind a whole year. You’ll know within a good three-four months what you’re dealing with and you’ll have weeded out a bunch of suckas as well.

          • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

            @pgh muse, right right and for both men and women, little things MEAN A LOT. I can’t stress that one enough.

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….

          @Nicki Sunshine,
          With women give it up freely, KNOWING, the men are committed or married, and willing to keep the little discrestion to themselves, it seems like they really have nothing to lose.

          yep, and i’m sure that’s what Steve thought…right up until he heard the gunshot. so unfortunate, and could’ve been avoided.

          • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

            @N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,Exactly

        • OrangeStar616

          @Nicki Sunshine,
          Let the woman be the one who cheats Nicki, I bet its deep then……

          • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

            @OrangeStar616, I’m against anyone who cheats… regardless of your gender. Just so happens we are talking about a man on this post.

        • Selah

          @Nicki Sunshine, I agree. I wasn’t really asking out of curiosity. I guess I shoulda said “wth is wrong with these men/women who won’t control their desires even though they know it can lead to effed up consequences??” LOL

      • Gem Possible

        @Selah,

        but how come men/women can’t control that desire?

        ohhhhhh please dont get me started and standing on my neuro/psych soapbox. the only ppl who cannot control their desires — be it sex or chocolate or shoe shopping — are ppl who have a chemical imbalance or lesions in their prefrontal cortex, therefore rendering them mentally unstable (see: sahel kazemi).

        • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

          @Gem Possible, Thank you Gem Possible!!!!! Tell it! Women need to stop falling for the ‘I couldn’t help it’ game. But then again, I guess it’s easier to believe that than to accept that the men they chose are weak.

          • Gem Possible

            @Hostess,

            i think men and women alike play the “it’s human nature” card and convince themselves its ok to succumb to sexual desires outside the “happy home” as if that were normal. no it’s not normal or ok if PROMISES are made that say “i/we shall be faithful”.

            ugh don’t let me get going….

        • overit?

          @Gem Possible, my etwin sure did get the left side of the brain.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Selah,

        “but how come men/women can’t control that desire?”

        we all can. some of us just have to work harder at it than others, and some just don’t give a f*ck

        • Selah

          @The Champ,

          In other words, some people just suck. lol

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Selah,

            LOL. Nice.

        • Monk

          @The Champ,

          True.

        • Sheffield Swats

          @The Champ, agreed. I remember reading what, for me, was the realest ish ever written on the subject a few years back in Esquire. Basically, the guy wrote in an essay that the only thing that will keep a man faithful is that man himself because even subpar, aging dudes get some type of trim thrown their way on occasion. Even if that man has a wife who isn’t egregiously out of pocket (still looks good, puts on a freak show every once in a while, etc.) he will still go out for drinks with friends/travel for work/see h.oes in the checkout line/experience temptation. Only being committed to the idea of commitment keeps someone faithful.

          Check it, http://www.esquire.com/women/ESQ0406AAW_144_5

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Sheffield Swats,

            “Only being committed to the idea of commitment keeps someone faithful.”

            this is true. it basically comes down to how badly you want to be faithful

      • An Island

        @Selah

        Some men see opportunity and always act on it. Others never do. But we all continue to evaluate talent whether we intend to act or not. And I know plenty of women who do the same thing, so this isn’t about dudes being cheap, or us not having the inner strength and morals that women do.

      • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

        @Selah, Don’t believe the ‘we can’t control the animalistic urge’ line. It’s some mess men’s PR came up with. Most can control the urge to kill someone so they can control the urge to stick and move it in any moist hole.

        • OrangeStar616

          @Hostess, ITA man was given reason for a reason and yes it can be controlled its just some folk allow their carnal natures to control them…….

          Self discipline, and self control are two attributes I find very attractive in men, along with a host others……

  • charli skipper

    ummm….not to be petty about this morbid situation, but please tell me she was cuter than that in person.

    • Selah

      @charli skipper,

      Yeaaa…… I think it was the “I’ll do anything” factor that attracted Mcnair… not her cuteness. LOL

      • maria

        @Selah,

        um, McNair was pretty average looking himself… I’d say they both about the same average 3 as far as looks go…

        • charli skipper

          @maria,
          but you know, for men, looks aren’t really their main commodity anyway. so his 3-ness doesn’t affect the type of woman he could “pull,” if other factors line up. so–and again. not to be petty or superficial about this morbid situation, but…–it sucks that his world ended for a da*n 3. i mean da*n.

          • Dante_Alexander

            @charli skipper,

            Wait… What?

            Some dudes, particularly those from places like Mt. Olive, MS, like the look of 3s, and would aregue to the death their hotness.

            I worked in GA with Atlanta Public Schools for a time. GA was like the 49th state in ranking of academic success. Who was 50? Yup. Em-Eye-Crooked Letter,Crooked Letter… Coincidence? I think not.

          • charli skipper

            @dante alexander,

            what!?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @maria,

          “I’d say they both about the same average 3 as far as looks go…”

          lol, a 3 is average? what type of dyslexic metrics are you using?

          • Dante_Alexander

            @The Champ,

            That’s that new math they teach in elementary schools so the kids can “learn what the numbers MEAN”.

            By the way, I’ve never gotten below an A in math on ANY level, and I can’t do that sheet.

            Oh yeah, and a 3 is average in any state south of the Mason-Dixon without a major metropolitan city. Like Bama. Or Miss. Or Ark. South Cak… being a 5 makes you the equivalent of Uncle Rico’s dream life back in ’82. If coach’d put you in, you’da won STATE.

          • http://mysixcents.wordpress.com klysha

            @Dante_Alexander, hol up…Bama is not…..okay nevermind…I was about to defend my state and say it’s not a state where 3 is average…but alas….thank god I was blessed enough to find my way out…although there are plenty of 8s and 9s there….just not enough to balance out all the -5s…..

        • Selah

          @maria, really? I thought he was kind of cute. In an I-have-no-integrity-or-self-control kind of way, of course.

          • charli skipper

            @Selah,
            I kinda did too. Thus my whole, “mens looks aren’t a commodity” tangent. lol

        • overit?

          @maria, 3 does seem to be the average, lol.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @maria,

          “I’d say they both about the same average 3 as far as looks go…”

          Sexxy Panama will be very gleeful to learn that his scarlet 3 is accepted as average. Movin’ on up, Pan!

    • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

      @charli skipper, She didn’t have to be cute. She was young, willing, and ethnicity unknown. If Black women get lightskinned points, high school drop outs get points for being young, dumb, check-other, etc.

    • Humble_One

      @charli skipper,

      If he McNair ain’t nothing but a country boy then it doesn’t take much. If you from the hood then you know some dudes that equate hotness to stats or exoticness. I remember dudes sweating this Lebanese chic at school that was terrible. These were the same dudes that thought I was crazy b/c I didn’t think the light-skinned chic with the 10 yr old boy body was hot.

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    i think this is one of her better pics.

    • charli skipper

      @Liz,
      *Rain Pryor sad face*

    • JamaicanGirl

      @Liz, See it isnt so.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Liz,

      i think this is one of her better pics.

      i agree. this and her mugshot are by far the best pics ive seen

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        @The Champ, people here are in denial. with some makeup, weave and a tight dress she would be able to hold her own against any of these baller chicks. that’s probably HOW she got close to him in the first place. it probably wasn’t her resume or personality. some people here are disillusional in calling her ugly.

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @Liz,
          naw her face is bout a 6 body bout a 7 jus IMO

        • charli skipper

          @Liz,
          definitely better than terrica from candy girls. still, however…

  • maria

    I so want to be the wet-blanket for this post, but I’ll refrain from do so…
    Bottom line jump-off’s, s.o., husbands/wifey’s etc. can all be crazy…it just seems like pple hook up with folks off the break w/o giving a f-ck and then get mad, surprised etc. when person is a crazy stalker-aint gonna let you go type person…look at arturo gatti, getting strangled by his crazy-jealous-ex-stripper wifey?

    at the end of the day some pple like/get caught in drama and don’t think about the consequences of their actions cuz they don’t give a f*ck…

    • JamaicanGirl

      @maria, “at the end of the day some pple like/get caught in drama and don’t think about the consequences of their actions cuz they don’t give a f*ck…”

      That way of thinking will get you killed. * no pun intended*

      • Dante_Alexander

        @JamaicanGirl,

        Perhaps the monotony of married life of over a decade will cause one to be completely open and receptive to ANY form of stimuli… Just playing devil’s advocate…

        • Selah

          @Dante_Alexander,

          but when you get married, you are supposed to be accepting that it’s going to be just one person for the rest of your life – monotony at it’s finest.

          • Dante_Alexander

            @Selah,

            There’s a difference between accepting familiarity, but never monotony.

            The couple that plays together stays together.

            Buy pron and be the most disgusting woman ever in bed. But then wake up and take the kids to their soccer game. There should be nothing wrong with that…

    • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

      @maria, Y’all know what? I bet she displayed signs of crazy from day one. But he ignored them or didn’t take them serious. Very few people just ‘flip’ out.

      • Gem Possible

        @Hostess,

        most men ignore the signs of INSANITY when they’re chasin that azz. and then have the nerve to be on some “and outta NO WHERE she flipped out”. n*gga puh-leeze!! that bish came out the womb needing antipsychotics…

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @Gem Possible,
          true ninja will put up with a lil feistyness but this ninja aint really like her anyways he found her weakness was money and played it but ended up gettin played in the end he prolly neva thought she would blast him

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Gem Possible,

          most men ignore the signs of INSANITY when they’re chasin that azz.

          eh. i dont know if this trait is gender-specific. women are just as, if not more, prone to ignore dangerous ass red flags in pursuit of perpetually wet panties

          • Ivy St.

            @The Champ,
            It’s not perpetually wet panties. i thought being the Champ and all you’d know that. Women seek love. Don’t get me wrong, good chex is great, but most women equate that to love and not just the physical feel good.

          • Gem Possible

            @The Champ,

            i gotta agree with Poison Ivy. women will ignore danger signs for a MAN, period. but for men, i think they’re more prone to ignore signs of crazy when they’re after a jump off’s goodies rather then seeking wifey material.

            just my op.

      • charli skipper

        @Hostess,

        yeah. men think that crazy sh*t is cute at first. trust….i ain’t right yall.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @charli skipper,

          ***cutting and pasting my 1:38 response to gem possible***

  • http://jameskphoto.blogspot.com Mr. Mister

    That kind of crazy…to me…does not just show up over night. They were together for a bit right? There had to be a few “I’ll cut your d*ck off” or “if you ever left me you’d I’d die” moments before this. He probably though that s*it was cute or something.

    • miss t-lee

      @Mr. Mister,
      Yep…there are always clues to the crazy. If a dude starts showing signs early in the game then I’m out…lol
      Some dudes ignore the signs or like you say “think it’s cute”.

      I never think crazy is cute. Crazy will have you hogtied in your own trunk.

      • 8th Wonder

        @miss t-lee,
        Crazy will have you hogtied in your own trunk.”

        Word to flashing lights.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @miss t-lee,

        Crazy will have you hogtied in your own trunk.

        lol, this could be its own entry

        crazy will have you…

        …hidden in a mailbox
        …smell testing your brita to make sure it aint bleach
        ….asking the cops to come arrest your own ass
        ….swallowing evidence
        ….naked at times and places you’re supposed to be unnaked

        • miss t-lee

          @The Champ,
          “…smell testing your brita to make sure it aint bleach”

          *giggling loudly*
          You’re right…you should make that entry happen….lol

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

          @The Champ,
          this would be a golden post. make it happen.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Mr. Mister,

      “That kind of crazy…to me…does not just show up over night.”

      i agree. i get the feeling that he realized around the time of her dui, but the fact that he was a foot taller than her and outweighed her by 130 pounds probably gave him a false since of security around her

      • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

        @The Champ,
        hell yea he prolly thought he could break up with her and she would run home crying. worst thang that could happen is she goes on you-tube and roasts him he neva thought she cap him

        • charli skipper

          @BLUNTBLAZER,
          my friends and i live by a very simple philosophy: “you f*ck with me, you stuck with me”* now, luckily for your average triflin brother that might be thinking he can just pop the top and bust out, i’m celibate. so the philosphy isn’t even that applicable to me right now. but i could definitely see my f’ing somebody’s world up for pulling a hit it and quit it. Not so much because i’m hurt. but, oh, you gon’ respect my mind! it’s the principle, folks.

          *unless and until i don’t want you no mo’

          • charli skipper

            @charli skipper,

            also, some clarification: i don’t think average brothers are triflin. i’m just talking about the average triflin brother. i’m not a male basher.

    • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

      @Mr. Mister, I just responded the previous comment with the same thing. He are >HERE<!

  • http://www.shakashawshow.wordpress.com shakashawshow

    Great minds must think alike. I used the same TMZ pic yesterday for a different post called “Jump-Off Rules” (http://shakashawshow.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/wife-vs-jump-off/) I am in awe of the fact that McNair was brazen enough to be out and about with this skeezer taking trips and parasailing or whatever with a wife at home, separated or not. Mad disrespectful! Which makes me feel like the wife knew to some degree because aint no way a Black man in the public eye is gonna be caught out there like that, especially with a chick who isn’t Black! If Sahel didn’t kill him, the wife would’ve. I just think maybe she had a good situation going with the money and the house (and probably no degree) which made her not give a damn…we’ll be seeing pics of her soon in Jamaica somewhere parasailing with a young tender gettin’ her groove back in the near future.

    • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

      @shakashawshow, “mad disrespectful” indeed.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ
      • http://www.shakashawshow.wordpress.com shakashawshow

        @The Champ, lol thanks Champ.

      • K to the…

        @The Champ,

        I agree…very good list…Shaq’s Jump-off is dumb!!!

    • http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com Hostess

      @shakashawshow, This is probably because this wasn’t his first time. People who allowed to show their ass only get more brazen with each event.

    • Ivy St.

      @shakashawshow,
      “Which makes me feel like the wife knew to some degree.”
      I feel like women always know. Whether they choose to do something about it is another logic in itself. How could she not know especially since it had been going on for months. If that is their situation, I can’t really be mad at him for it.

      • http://www.shakashawshow.wordpress.com shakashawshow

        @Ivy St., I see what u mean but hes still an ass for that…just man up and let her know she aint covering her bases. Save the headache. Unless he didnt get that pre-nup straight lol.

        • Ivy St.

          @shakashawshow,
          “just man up and let her know she aint covering her bases.”
          Is it really about her not covering her bases?!?! or just him being a selfish asshole? I feel like a cheater will cheat because they are a cheater.

          • http://www.shakashawshow.wordpress.com shakashawshow

            @Ivy St., nah not necessarily. It takes maturity to be committed to a woman (one woman). Im not exonerating cheating men by any means, but I do think if a man has all his needs covered AND is mature, he will keep his ass at the crib instead of looking for that new-new. But on the flipside, women know when they aren’t doing all they can to make their man happy. A lot of sistas act like them just putting up with his ashy a** on a day to day basis is enough. Brothas get the short end of the stick a lot in society and in the workplace so we like to be made to feel a little kingly at the house if possible…so what. It shoudl be reciprocated of course but you cant NOT do certain things and expect to keep a man. But Im not saying anybodys at fault aside from dude who cheated.

            • Sweet Sass

              The mature man never cheats. Period.

              Cheating is automatically immature and selfish.

              There is no justification for cheating.

              If a relationship is unsatisfactory… end it.

  • miss t-lee

    I keep telling these girls that always wanna compare the wife to the jump off on some “why would he cheat with her?/She’s not even cute” type steez.

    It’s not about that, it’s never about that.

    It goes both ways as well.

    • http://www.shakashawshow.wordpress.com shakashawshow

      @miss t-lee, as Katt Williams says “if you won’t do it, there’s a raggedy b***h that will” lol

      • Selah

        @shakashawshow, LOL! Raggedy Batches and Batch Naggas mess things up for everyone

        • http://www.shakashawshow.wordpress.com shakashawshow

          @Selah, “I suggest you stop dealing with batch naggas”…I can spot one a mile away why cant most women? My female friends run their new naggas by me all the time and I let em know off top if i see batch tendencies.

      • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

        @shakashawshow,
        dam thas so dam true so dam true

  • Numbah 5

    *cue the pity party music*

    Men are such F@#$ing babies!

    “Waah, my wife won’t have crazy monkey chex with caramel sauce, nipple clamps and glitter..”

    “Waaah, I want to be treated like a superstar every time I wake up, just because I breathe free air!”

    Lawd, when will men grow up and realize that the sun doesn’t F@#$ing rise and set on your “entitled” a$$es?!?!?

    *end pity party….continue with your regularly scheduled program…*

    • http://chubbyafro.com T. Troy Stewart

      @Numbah 5, “Waah, my wife won’t have crazy monkey chex with caramel sauce, nipple clamps and glitter..”

      I like Chex. Glitter, not so much. Gawd, Mariah was even worse than she was at the MJ memorial service…

    • http://www.shakashawshow.wordpress.com shakashawshow

      @Numbah 5, I dont know about nipple clamps thats suspect…and i dont condone cheating but some women aint even willing to give head. Quickest way to lose a man, especially a black one.

      • An Island

        @shakashawshow

        That’s a definite deal breaker. Especially jumpoffs who think they should get but all they gotta give up in return is the @ss. F*ck outta here. It ain’t my fault you have less ways of getting to the promised land.

        And for s.o.’s, giving head is like spending time with his family or cooking for him when he’s sick . . . even if you don’t like doing it, you should do it out of love. And the man shouldn’t have to hear you complain every time about how little you enjoy it.

        • http://www.shakashawshow.wordpress.com shakashawshow

          @An Island, I agree but I think she should love it…you can always tell when a chick is just doing it. Nothing like voluntary head or getting pinned down cuz shorty is anxious to give up the skully.

      • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

        @shakashawshow,
        dam beat me to the punch hell yea. I started actin stuck up lately no dome then bish go home.

      • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

        @shakashawshow,

        If you meet a woman who is not giving head, you should take hers OFF.

        that is all.

        Bond. BlkBond.

    • Humble_One

      @Numbah 5,

      “Waaah, I want to be treated like a superstar every time I wake up, just because I breathe free air!”

      Lawd, when will men grow up and realize that the sun doesn’t F@#$ing rise and set on your “entitled” a$$es?!?!?

      I think these two statements apply to women more than men. Women usually have the entitlement and being treated like a superstar issues.

      • Dante_Alexander

        @Humble_One,

        Especially if that sort of behavior was present in the beginning…

        If you did have crazy, monkey, Ice LaFox type animal fooking when you were in a fledgeling relationship, and then you snagged the dude and he married you, and THEN you decide not to go that route… You hustled backwards, and dude is gonna step out. Sorry. You can’t change mid-stream.

        And this goes for ALL behaviors that are routinely expected after courtship, really, and applies to men AND women.

        If dude tricked on a chick, he better for damn sure do it later, too… or the trick is gonna dip.

        If she had the equivalent brain power of 3 Steven Hawkings and 4 Einsteins (fell-atingly speaking, not smarts, of course), along with the chex drive of RoxyReynolds, and the disgustingness of any hardcore 2520 pron chick, THEN decided after she got that ring she’d better tone it down?

        Epic fail. Seriously. I’m just being honest.

        • Humble_One

          @Dante_Alexander,

          “If dude tricked on a chick, he better for damn sure do it later, too… or the trick is gonna dip.”

          Word. I got a homeboy like this. When him and his wife were dating and engaged we all told him about himself. Dude paying for this and that, talking about he don’t want her to work. When they got married and money got tight the problems started. She is mad at him because he can’t pamper her. He is mad because she is not stepping up by being more responsible and supportive. We all tell him that he got exactly what he asked for and can’t be mad at anyone but himself.

          • http://www.museacdonline.com pgh muse

            @Humble_One, I disagree. She is his wife. That is what for better or worse means. When times get hard you are supposed to support each other. Nothing stays the same forever.

          • Humble_One

            @pgh muse,

            I agree. That is the problem. One person is supportive and the other isn’t. When your wife’s comfort comes at the expense of you there is a problem. The responsibilities should be shared and not fall on one person.

    • Gem Possible

      @Numbah 5,

      “Waaah, I want to be treated like a superstar every time I wake up, just because I breathe free air!”

      that made me cackle!!

      but seriously, i think ppl (men AND women) should def be supportive, doting and think the world of their spouse. esp on the woman’s part when it comes to a man’s ego (and i do mean EGO). what i’ve learned in my grown up years is that men need their egos (and “egos”) to be stroked and handled with care. men typically need to know their women are holding them down (in ALL ways) and are truly their biggest cheerleaders.

      women may be high maintenance when it comes to material needs, but men are high maintenance when it comes to physical and psychological needs–they’re the big babies.

      • overit?

        @Gem Possible, when it comes to a man’s ego (and i do mean EGO)

        lol.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Numbah 5,

      Lawd, when will men grow up and realize that the sun doesn’t F@#$ing rise and set on your “entitled” a$$es?!?!?

      thats a ton of ass