“…let’s hook up somewhere and exchange some f*ck faces…”
Man do I love that line.
The great poet laureates and vocal mosaicists, Rude Boys, sang their way into our hearts and minds in 1991 with their only huge hit, “It’s Written All Over Your Face.” Yes, it was in the face.
Now far be it from me to over-extend their intentions to general male-dom as their song was about how much a woman with style and class cares for them without need for even the slightest of utterances. I mean, it was written all over her face. She didn’t have to say a word.
(By the way, that “written all over her face” totally sounds like a pr0n series.)
All she had to do was smile four times. Apparently that was better than any words she probably EVER said.
If you think about it that’s a pretty misogynistic statement. It references the old adage, be seen and not heard. Not coincidentally, my Uncle Unk, a slick talking pimp, put that up as the only rule in his brothel.
Gar.
I’ve gotten off track. Forgive me.
Ah yes, the face.
Now, I’ve been told time and time again that my face gives me away. And it’s true. If I think that you are a cucumberesque whiskey trollop, you will probably know quite quickly. If I think that every word you say is akin to a squirrel pooing on a horse that’s pooing, you will know. But those faces are unintentional.
What about the intentional faces? What say you? What are intentional faces? Glad you asked.
I think that nearly all men have certain game-faces, if you will, that we take into certain situations. Today, allow me to share with you a few faces that I think many of us are aware of, but don’t think of very often.
1) The Pregnancy Face – I contend that most men don’t even realize that they have this face (okay, maybe this one isn’t intentional per se). This is the face that shows up when the woman either says, “I’m late” or “I’m pregnant”. I think that the depth of the relationship with the woman will determine which sentence you hear first. Anyway, this face, is usually the most honest face a man will make in his life. It either says, “HOLY RUSTED METAL BATMAN!!?! I don’t even know your last name” or it says “REALLY? I get to be a daddy?!?!” Simply, lady it’s either going to make you cry for joy or make you violent. It’s also one of those faces that every man does different but all with the same outcome.
By the way, if dude has absolutely NO expression on his face, there’s a good chance that he’s asleep when you tell him. Wake him up first.
2) The Break-Up Face – Now all men have one of these in the arsenal. I used mine at least 45 times in one week once. It’s got a steely resolve, though it usually starts out with some kind of remorse, almost as if to beckon the woman to find out what’s troubling the man. But once Pandora’s box has been opened, the man will go into George Bush mode. What’s that? It’s the mode that says, “Good or bad, I’m making this decision but I still want you to like me so perhaps I can still flirt with you and play with your frog. And keep your shoes beeeeyotch”
You probably don’t have a frog. Or do you? Maybe you don’t even know that you have one. Frogs are fun.
Class act.
3) The Withdrawn and Emotionless Face – This is the face that we menfolks breakout when we completely hate whatever it is that you’ve a) said, b) suggested, or c) forced us to do. You want us to play Hopscotch Tea Time with a Soda on The Side. We’ll do it, but we’ll give you a face that says, “I kind of hate you right now, but you won’t know it. I’ll just piss you off by making the same face that I made when you cooked that I made when you thought you were putting in “work”’. If your dude has one universal face for all of those, just know that he’s probably just praying he doesn’t need the Pregnant Face because he has every intention of using his Break-Up Face.
Woosah.
These are but a mere smattering of the many faces that men possess. What other faces have you witnessed and women, what are the faces YOU dagger back at us menfolks?
(I imagine every woman has 576 versions of the “fine” face – you know that face that says that you’re “fine” but really means that you can’t believe your dating us? I love that face.
Face is good. Heh heh heh.)
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
“(By the way, that “written all over her face” totally sounds like a pr0n series.)”
why must you ruin the things i love?
@shatani,
why must you ruin the things i love?
because.
i actually thought “written all over her face” was a reference to porn until i scrolled down… i guess i just have a filthy mind.
i think pretty much all women have this face: the one-eyebrow-raised-”what-in-the-hell-do-you-think-you-just-said-to-me?” face. apparently i scare the kids i teach with it, as well as some grown men. i’m working on replacing it with a smile.
@puff,
i always wished i was able to raise one eyebrow
@The Champ,
i can. i use it in therapy all the time. clients usually know to stop bullshytin me when i do it. lol
my eyes are my give-away…
when i’m angry they shoot right thru you…eyebrows are furrowed…lids lay low..jaw tightens this can happen for a number of your-a-d-o-u-c-h-e bag and ur lucky whatever offense you’ve just committed isn’t worth my serving time in prison (not jail but prison)
and I definitely have been slapped into stupid by fineness twice that I can recall…
1. this cute officer use to come to our e.r. and I swear whenever he came round I just light up and smile some ol’ ear to ear smile
2. my co-workers son was in town (he plays ball in italy) i didn’t know who he was but i was just stuck on silly goof ball smiles…and he came over on his own to ask me a question…his mom was sitting next to me…and i could not speak…i just opened my mouth and nothing came out…man oh man did everyone get a laugh outta that…It was a first…especially since i’m so outspoken and sometime over-the-top…he is now referred to as my husband lol
*going to my memory happy place*
@maria,
lol, sounds like someone’s a soon to be cougar
@The Champ,
hold up– these gents were at most 4 years younger than me…I think when this all played out I was 27 and police dude was probably 23 with his fine self and my co-worker’s son was 24 or 25…couger I am not…now at 30 I might be a puma (my on-off again dude is 25) but it’s whatever..
@maria, “my eyes are my give-away”
Same here. My eyes are a dead give-away on how I feel. My family/friends know immediately how I feel about something even if I say something else.
@maria,
**clappin it up** love the storries. All of em is hawt.
What about that half-a smirk face that you guys use when trying to make us think we’re crazy? You know the one that says “I’m gonna let this crazy beezo talk until she run out of breath” type of face. Let me just say- I hate that face! I’d rather you stomp around and act like a big baby.
(note: if this doesn’t make sense blame the time, and not my mind lol)
(p.s. Panama I caught the “class act” reference b4 you pointed it out. “DAMITA I thought you was gonna play with my frog!”)
@meleka on the laptop,
What about that half-a smirk face that you guys use when trying to make us think we’re crazy? You know the one that says “I’m gonna let this crazy beezo talk until she run out of breath” type of face. Let me just say- I hate that face! I’d rather you stomp around and act like a big baby
this is one of my all-time favorite faces. i even practice it in the mirror
The ARE YOU CRAZY Face, usually shown after you have either said or did something that made me wonder: ARE YOU CRAZY??????
@Liz,
how exactly does this face look, liz?
@The Champ,
3 parts incredulity, one part menace, with a healthy bit of apprehension mixed with regret for good measure.
everyone has the you about to lay it down face…the come put it on me face…the good g.o.d almighty we might make some babies face….i don’t think i can decribe mine…it’s more of you gotta be there to know…l.m.a.o.
*i think this comment is a byproduct of my happy place memory*
@maria,
you know whats also good, the “damn, just an hour ago we were having killer klown coitus from outer space” face of recognition you share with your lover while you’re at the mall or some sh*t
@The Champ,
What about the “we are about to have killer klown coitus from outer space” face of recognition that gets dates cut short?
@The Champ,
I’m upset that you just referenced that movie.
Dayum. lol
You probably don’t have a frog. Or do you? Maybe you don’t even know that you have one. Frogs are fun.
Panama – you are distrubed, i’m convinced.
@superwoman,
You probably don’t have a frog. Or do you? Maybe you don’t even know that you have one. Frogs are fun.
was this like a south african riddle or something?
@The Champ, lol!
For some reason the break-up face description reminds me of that Jamie Foxx movie Breakin All the Rules.
Anywho – female faces. My personal favorite is the “That shyte did not just come out of your mouth” face. Usually used at the club or bar when some dude says something mad inappropriate under the guise of hitting on you. Most often accompanied by the “Back the Eff Up” Face.
I don’t know about any men-specific faces but I think there are a couple of uni-sex faces.
1.) The Beyotch WTF? Face: This face can be used in several circumstances:
a.) Someone comes at you or says something completely out of left field. (IE – You’re on a first date and the date says to you “We would/will have cute babies.)
b.) Somebody does something h*lla rude to you. (Cuts you off when you’ve been standing on line for a minute, smudges your brand new white pumas, talks crazy to you, bumps into you hard with no ‘excuse me’ etc.)
After drinking or heightened emotions this face may turned into the “Beyotch are you crazy?” face.
2.) The Drunk Face – You’ve been designated wingman or DD and you look over and you see your buddy/girl with that incoherent, sloppy, Weekend At Bernie’s smile on their face. They’re eyes are glassy and watery and a bit a drool may be running down their mouth. Beware of the Drunk Face moments later they will either be telling you how much they love you or puking on the floor or both.
That’s what I’ve got!
MZ
@Madame Zenobia,
2.) The Drunk Face – You’ve been designated wingman or DD and you look over and you see your buddy/girl with that incoherent, sloppy, Weekend At Bernie’s smile on their face. They’re eyes are glassy and watery and a bit a drool may be running down their mouth. Beware of the Drunk Face moments later they will either be telling you how much they love you or puking on the floor or both.
this face also has three alternative names: “the amy winehouse”, “the college”, and “the snizzle”
@The Champ,
Yo ‘the snizzle’ reminds me of the chick from 40 year old virgen. ole boy was like, ‘find the drunkest girl in here and take her home.’
There’s the “you-better-not-say-nothing-to-me-right-now-because-I-hate-all-menfolk-at-this-moment” face. Women basically make this face when in a hissy mood, surfing the tide, is taking out her wrath on every swinging slick because her many failed relationships, getting hollas from the barrel scrapings of society, etc.
The “you-better-not-say-nothing-to-me-right-now-because-I-hate-all-menfolk-at-this-moment” face. Is a must in Atlanta. Smile much and hobo the clown and crackhead Eddy will surely stalk you. A kind face is easily misconstrued for weakness in these here parts.
@Blue Skyez,
damn. sucks to be you.
My cousin has the “I’m too cute for you face”…I’ve seen her pull it out when a guy she, yup you guessed it, she thinks isn’t fly enough for her face tries to holla. It’s a raised eyebrow, I just smelled something funky frown combo. It has stopped some dead in their tracks. I’ve seen dudes stop mid ‘hello’ and walk away.
When I’m not interested, I pull out the “I’m only going to humor you for two minutes face” – a half smile, subtle eye roll combo.
My ‘You are lucky I don’t have access to a firearm’ face usually pops up when someone has pissed me off to no end. My pupils get huge and my eyes go from green to black and my facial features ‘shrink’. Run if you see this face.
@iloVEGrits,
My cousin has the “I’m too cute for you face”…I’ve seen her pull it out when a guy she, yup you guessed it, she thinks isn’t fly enough for her face tries to holla. It’s a raised eyebrow, I just smelled something funky frown combo. It has stopped some dead in their tracks. I’ve seen dudes stop mid ‘hello’ and walk away.
ice cold!!
@iloVEGrits,
I prefer my “I DO have access to a firearm, and I know how to get away with it” face.
the “no, i’m serious” face, which consists of a blank face and 2 or 3 rapid blinks. usually performed after you have to tell a man something like, “can you get away from me?”; “no, you don’t need to give me your number either.” or “can you help me _________” and then they either try to start laughing or ignore you. No…i’m serious.
@charli skipper, this is my favorite. I had to put this on a fool in a royal blue RAYON outfit at the club recently. I’m like ‘just stop talking’ he thought I was kidding until I put the ‘No, I’m serious’ look on him. He was rather salty after that…
I call mine my “GO DUMB” Face, it’s a face where all emotion has fallen off and I get my dead eyes on (see: “America’s Next Top Model” and Kardashian sisters).
It usually comes out when someone has irritated me or said something stupid.
I have a friend who laughs too much, and it’s annoying. Sometimes she calls and is immediately laughing. I sit there quietly, dumb face on, and wait for it- until I hear her say, “hello, hello!” She’s realized that I have not joined in.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I call mine my “GO DUMB” Face, it’s a face where all emotion has fallen off and I get my dead eyes on (see: “America’s Next Top Model” and Kardashian sisters).
i call this face the “gogo yubari”
@The Champ,
GoGo from Kill Bill? Thats a scary face…me no likey. The underbite on that chick was out of this world.
@SxyScientst,
I think she looks like an Asian Solange Knowles.
@The Champ, I like your name better (even though I had to google it. LOL)
The one face with me that has become so ever popular is the “Excuse Me?!?!?!” face. Whether I actually state it or I am just thinking it one of the following is in play: “wth do you think”, “who the eff do you think I am”, “somebody done told you wrong”, “oh no I don’t think so”.
I can’t conceal it. It just jumps out there. When my marido p1sses me off I sometimes try not to show it but that face just gives it away. Or when someone says something that I don’t agree with however I don’t feel the need or it’s not appropriate at the time to say so, I am known to look off to the left. One of my friend girls brought this to my attention a few years ago.
One face I have noticed among men is that smirk when they are not taking you serious. Dead give away.
And the one that gets on my darn nerves is the one that I saw just as recent as last night. The “don’t you see I am watching this epic unprecedented waste of time national televised sporting event that I love more than life itself and my balls will turn blue and rot off if I miss any second of any play so why are you bothering me?” face. That is my interpretation of that face. LOL
@Raqi,
And the one that gets on my darn nerves is the one that I saw just as recent as last night. The “don’t you see I am watching this epic unprecedented waste of time national televised sporting event that I love more than life itself and my balls will turn blue and rot off if I miss any second of any play so why are you bothering me?” face. That is my interpretation of that face. LOL
i’m sure this face isn’t as annoying as the “even though i can see that you’re deeply engrossed in this triple overtime championship game, i want to talk to you RIGHT NOW about this text i just got from my trifin homegirl, whose man is cheating on her with her cousin” face.
Nope all my faces are pretty much the same women hate that for some reason
@The Don,
lol, there doesnt need to be a reason
My face gives me away all the time.
Especially my “I can’t believe you think I won’t throat punch you” face.
@miss t-lee,
is this similar to the stanley?
@The Champ,
Yessir.
wow where do i begin?
apparently i have an arsenal of faces…my boss said something to the effect one day, that if he didn’t know i was black my looks would give it away.
anyways my all time faves include:
patented i make this one when you said something completely ignorant idiotic and asisine BUT i can’t call you out on it. so in lieu of going off the deep end you get the deadly
eye roll and ::deep, long audible sigh:: this is a step up from the and its one step away from me rubbing your nose in your mess like a dog. i want you to KNOW that im upset, disturbed, aggravated by you, but for whatever reason im still not going to say anything out right
@tnt,
apparently i have an arsenal of faces…my boss said something to the effect one day, that if he didn’t know i was black my looks would give it away.
lol, i’m hoping your boss is black
@The Champ,
yes he is black…old school i know all the ladies kinda brother of omega psi phi black! he think he know everything lol
ps blank stare should be after patened
Some douche came up to me at a party and said “I saw you looking at me” and then gave me his best lip bite, wanna sex u up face. This enraged me so that he didn’t even get a face he just got cussed out. I mean, of course I was looking at you fool you have on a basketball jersey a la 2005 and socks pulled over the bottom of your pants. I wanted a good memory so I could laugh at you later!
@SxyScientst,
I like this guy who stepped to you. He’s got the, ‘if better is possible good is not enough’ attitude. N that wasn’t the, ‘I wanna sehx U up’ face. It was the, ‘pleas don’t cur’ dang too late she cursin me out. When he really wanted to give you a better memory. *shaking my lowered ‘nodding no’ shamed head*
@WuDaMan, ummmm no! That was definitely the ‘I wanna secks you up face’…I know it when I see it. Lip lickin, followed by the “secks eyes”, then the “seductive” lip bite…thats the face. Too bad it was attached to the craziest guy at the party. I had to leave after he invited me to his mansion (read:apartment down the street).
@SxyScientst,
Okay see here it is. Why can’t people play any more? Dude knew good n well he was trippin w/ his fit. He did have an IQ above 90? And even if he didn’t did his quiet pass @ you warrent a screaming outloud fight? Did he say he was going to kill you a little?? If the answer to the last one was yes then yes he deserved the scream fest.
@WuDaMan,
“kill you a little”
How do you kill someone a little? Something about this is funny to me. I think I’m gonna start saying this to people if you don’t mind.
@WuDaMan, I didn’t scream. I cussed him out quietly. I didn’t want to ruin the party by acting like more of a douch than him. Afterall, I AM a lady…
@SxyScientst,
*Singing all Kieth Sweat like* ‘& I like iiiit.
@SxyScientst,
I always laugh when guys do stuff like that. Mainly because I can’t believe they’re really dumb enough to walk up to someone with all that boldness.
@Voiceofreason, be bold…don’t be an idiot. However if brother looked like Idris I would have reacted TOTALLY different manner.
@SxyScientst,
I was just thinking the other day that no matter how subtle or bold, if an unattractive man flirts with you or approaches you it somehow feels offensive. But if the man is attractive, he can get away with so much. Attractive people truly catch more breaks than their not so fortunate looking counterparts.
@Voiceofreason,
You watch 30 Rock? Last night was abt this very subject. Its called “the bubble” and attractive people live in it. They get waaaay more passes than un unfortunate looking person would get. If he were attractive I would have giggled and offered to make him a sandwich. Instead dude almost got shanked…
@SxyScientst,
I missed it last night but I like the show. But it’s true. It starts when we’re children and continues through out life. So many attractive people seem as if they have a sense of entitlement because they’ve been getting away with things for years. And when ugly ducklings happen to turn in to swans they have a tendency to show out.
@Voiceofreason,
That is what the Women rating article was about last week. The one that everyone blew up on, but it is so true! I agree!
@Ms. T,
So that’s what the ruckus was about? D@mn, when you miss a day you miss a lot. Men rate women all the time and the ratings vary based on preference. I know men who think Kelly Roland is more beautiful than Beyonce, that the average PR chick in the BX can out do J.Lo anyday, and that Halle is only considered a 10 because she has a European look and if she were a white woman with the same face people wouldn’t think she was as beautiful.
Men can rate women all day everyday if they want but it doesn’t matter. The world is filled with lonely dimes and nickels get married on a regular basis. Just look at the wedding section of Jet for proof.
@Ms. T,
EXACTLY
I was thinking the same thing.
@Voiceofreason,
My way of flirting is to be really sarcastic and insult someone, in a cute way.
I’ve met many an ex this way. lol. One, after we’d started dating, told me there was no way I’d get play doing that if I was ‘unfortunate’ looking. I think it’s the dimples…
@iloVEGrits,
Sometimes I flirt with sarcasm too. Guys seem to like it. I never thought my looks were a factor.
@Voiceofreason,
I was just thinking the other day that no matter how subtle or bold, if an unattractive man flirts with you or approaches you it somehow feels offensive. But if the man is attractive, he can get away with so much. Attractive people truly catch more breaks than their not so fortunate looking counterparts.
hmmm. maybe i’m crazy, but this sounds eerily similar to a recent “misogynistic” vsb entry.
@The Champ,
I didn’t read that one. At least I don’t think I did. Sorry
@The Champ,
aaaaahahahahahahha
dare i say ZING
@WuDaMan,
I didn’t read that entry, so whatever WuWu. And men shouldn’t say “zing” unless they want to come across as FABULOUS.
@Voiceofreason,
Hey lady *friendly but manly voice* I was saying zing to the other post. The one you missed. There were lots of people talking really meanly @ the poster because of the subject matter. You just happen to be siding w/ the poster of said blog topic at the time. That and remember zing as a little something that snl put out about guys in the office who would dish out matter of fact zingers about their cohorts.
@WuDaMan,
Touche, WuGambino. So people were being mean because he was rating women? Wow! Out of control. Just another case of people not being able to handle the truth I suppose. All you have to do is catch a good documentary on TLC or the Discovery channel to find out there are studies about how looks play a big part in our society, and it’s a fact that attractive people are generally treated better. And beauty is an actual science. Beautiful people have faces that are more symmetrical than those who may not be considered beautiful.
And the zing the was a joke. My bad. But I can’t help but picture a man snapping and waiving his fingers in the air when I hear or see the word zing.
Yup I been told my face is an open book. Usually they giggle while saying it. I guess they like it.
And why the hades wouldn’t they like it. This is a handsom boy modeling school face.
@WuDaMan, Depends on what kind of book your face is.Maybe what they’re reading is funny?
I should NEVER play poker because everything I’m thinking instantly appears on my face. When a guy starts talking some random foolishness I normally give one of three expressions
1.The look a parent gives a child who destroyed the kitchen in an attempt to make breakfast. It says, “I want to kill you but I can’t because you really thought you were doing something special.”
or
2.I grimace and shake my head the way you do when someone is speaking a foreign language to you and you’ve tried to explain you don’t understand them but they just don’t get it.
or
3. Or that look that everybody gives when they hear bull sh*t. I can’t really describe it, but the corners of your mouth kind of twist and your cheeks kind of dimple.
@Voiceofreason,
I call #3 the stank face. It’s like a got a whiff of something bad but can’t identify what it is or where its coming from…
***the many faces of the champ***
1. “the shaq”
when i intentionally make myself cross-eyed after hearing a bad joke
2. “the stanley”
the look i give people on the bus when i want a seat to myself.
3. “the shaq, pt 2″
the sarcastic and bemused grin on one side of my mouth. apparently, shaq has been an influential presence in my life
4. “the tom cruise in eyes wide shut face”
the look of amazement, exasperation, and resignation you feel when your checking balance is lower than you thought it was
5. “the wesley pipes”
strangely, i used to make this face after i’d dunk on someone. since i can’t dunk on people anymore, i’ve retired this face. i miss that face
@The Champ,
Those are the only facial expressions Shaq has.
@The Champ,
Bwuaaahahahahaahahahahaha @ the wesley pipes. No man we can’t pull out wesley pipes w/o our friend. No wesley pipes. No billy bong thornton. We’re fund raisers. lol
@WuDaMan,
Are you using code language? I didn’t understand any of this.
@Voiceofreason,
It’s from the movie half baked. Not an exact quote but when Kenney first went to jail. Some of the guys wanted to toque up. & Dave Chapelle’s character said no. We can’t pull out the hooqua w/o our friend Kenny.
@WuDaMan,
Oh! I remember that. Thanks for the refresher.
@The Champ, Cracking up @ The Stanley. That’s right up there with my ANGRY BLACK WOMAN face. I use that one when I am walking down the street and I know somebody is about to try and holla and I really don’t feel like being bothered.
The IMMA TAP THAT A$$ face that they have normally turns to a SHE MUST BE LESBIAN FOR NOT WANTING THIS face.
@The Champ,
2. “the stanley”
the look i give people on the bus when i want a seat to myself.
This face cracks me up errytime…lol
@The Champ,
The Stanley would never work in NYC. Never. You’ll get the I’m-Tired-and-I-Need-to-Sit-Down but-not-too-Tired-to-Go-Off-on-Stanley-if he-Doesn’t-Move-Over-NOW face.
@Voiceofreason,
LOL. Yeah I still make the face but it never works. And why should it? Never deterred me from taking a seat!
People who do the Stanley usually get met with the “B!tch Pls” or the “I wish a ninja would” stare down
I am one of those people that cannot hide their emotions. I don’t have a poker face. For this reason, when something is happening people tend to look at me to get a true sense of what’s going on. For example, at work if I know something is going on behind the scenes my co-workers will come to me and ask “what’s going on?”. Even if I say “Nothing” or “Not Sure”, my face is the dead give away. This results is them giving me the I CALL BULLSH*T face back. I am also the person that doesn’t get told about surprise parties and such for other people. It used to be hurtful before I understood (and came to accept) how I gave sh*t away but now it’s kind of cool. I get to be just as surprised as the person
In relationships it’s the same way although I do have this one face that I like to call THE TIME BOMB. It’s when I am pissed off to the highest level of pisstivity. My total expression goes stone. My face shows no emotion. It’s like the calm before the storm!!! When he sees this expression appear he then responds with the DAMN DAMN DAMN face or the YOU KNOW YOU DONE F*CKED UP face because he knows that at some point all hell is going to break loose and my emotions (and facial expressions) will be all over the place
@Yaa,
“I am one of those people that cannot hide their emotions.”
Wow. One of my best abilities is the way I hide my emotions just like a man. This is a great advantage especially very early in new relationships.
@Blue Skyez, I can’t!! My facial expressions give it away all the time. I think because am not very expressive right away so over the years it’s manifested into facial reactions lol. I have a face for everything!
I imagine every woman has 576 versions of the “fine” face – you know that face that says that you’re “fine”
I’m dealing with this right now. One of my co-workers is so fine that I couldn’t speak the first two times that he spoke to me. It took a 3rd time before I could talk to him lol. He looks like the Rock but even more gorgeous. Then he started flirting with me and I probably gave him that face a million times.
**standing ovation like when the guest preacher get up in yo neighborhood** Y errbody talkin about they sad stuff faces. I likes these cain’t help it happy faces. Great post Leila.
@Leila,
If he’s more gorgeous than the Rock I can’t believe you managed to look at him directly let alone speak to him. Were you able to form complete coherent sentences or did you ramble out sentence fragments? When I see men like that I look like a deer caught in headlights and then I start frowning. My brain has difficulty processing how someone can be so beautiful so I look confused.
@Voiceofreason,
I usually make a stank face too. I think its overcompensation from not wanting to seem like I like you. I met Nas back in the Ether days when I still had a crush on his ignant ass. I was beyond rude. He didn’t seem offended though.
@Leila,
“One of my co-workers is so fine that I couldn’t speak the first two times that he spoke to me. It took a 3rd time before I could talk to him lol. He looks like the Rock but even more gorgeous”
OMG!
I need the address to your office…stat!!!! lol
@miss t-lee, lol! I wanted to thank his parents when I saw him. Then he started flirting me and I was blown away.
This is hilarious seeing as though I posted the Rude Boys video just last night after my husband started singing it while watching “Grey’s Anatomy.” I wonder if the Rude Boys know how popular they are in blogland lately. LOL!
I have an alter ego I call SIP. SIP raises one eyebrow and doesn’t have to say a WORD. Folks know what my SIP face means and they know to back the hell up quickly because I take NO PRISONERS in SIP mode.
@CreoleInDC,
why SIP?
@The Champ,
You know how you have that stoopit imaginary person that lives inside of you that says the things you would NEVER say out loud out of politeness and because your mother taught you better? Well…SIP is the acronym of Stoopit Imaginary Person. Everyone has a SIP. Trust me. Mine is just more public than most. I’m old and curmudgeon-ey.
@CreoleInDC,
Girl you sound crazy as hell! And I mean that in the most e-loving way possible. I’m kinda satisified with being a moody, cantankerous witch once in a while. Keeps my teeth white
@Me fail english?,
I love being me. LOVE IT ya hear me? ROFL! Old and all.
This was probably already mentioned, but I have a face that I like to call “now, the deluge”. Normally, I have high-pitched, shrill voice and an accent that noone in the family seems to be able to pinpoint. In an argument I sound as squeaky as ever. But I’ve been told by those that know me best that when I’m about to lose it (I have a slow, but deadly temper) I morph. A strange calm falls over my face, all of the muscles relax and I seem to look dead-ahead…at whatever is directly before me, even if it’s not the person I’m talking to. If you’re not looking at me, you’ll know once the change is upon you because my voice drops about 3 octaves and the accent turns into a distinct DeNiro-Madea hybrid (non-rhotics and all).
Strangely enough, it’s completely unintentional.
i hate yr boy & he knows I hate him but we’ll keep it cordial (for now) look (tight smile generally, blank look when he speaks directly to you)
God I love this man! did I just win the lottery look when he does something randomly, wonderfully, heart stoppingly wonderful for no reason really.
‘we can goooo’ look (from the men): aka half hearted assent from the men when you express interest (usually maliciously) to go to the spot where he goes with the boys. He’s very quick to agree to any self discouragment that you provide (tho’ I don’t know if I really want to go as the loos are a bit funny)
Ima shut up now : incredulity, anger, rage and disbelief at some utter f*c*ry that somes from his mouth & you shut up as you know anything you say will just be utter and total hurtfulness.
My SIP and myself battle for control. I do tend to say what I’m thinkin….and let the chips fall where they may. I was in Cheesecake Factory today (love their clam chowdah) and there was a group of women on the right. I mentioned that one of them had a rather impressive set of breasts, I guess a little loudly. My boy gave me this, “Damn that was loud” face. And?
I say sober what most people only say drunk. It’s my gift and my curse.
My Shut up before i beat u up face…
it usually begins with a blank stare…then slowly scrunches up, my eyes squint till i look half chinese, n my lips get all purse together.
The I love you face…you noe, that doe eyed stare…this is mainly just for the really beautiful men that surround me. lol
Unfortunately, I am opt to blush at times indicating that I’m feeling someone. Some women think it’s cute and it adds to my boyish charm, nevertheless, I’m embarrassed by it and when I’m called out on it, it makes me blush more.
I also will give my goofy look with no forewarning resulting in the chick who I’m with smile, playfully hit me, and comment about how corny I am. This look is very effective in lightening up the mood.