Theory & Essay

Man, That’s Some Stalker Sh*t

Faith??!!!! Faith!!!?????????!

If you ask anybody who has ever been accused of stalking if they were, indeed, a stalker, they’ll immediately look at you as if you’ve got three breasts (whether you are a man or a woman) and tell you that they aren’t stalkers…they were just on a quest for the truth!

See stalkers aren’t really bad people. No. They’re created by the people that they, ya know, stalk. See all stalkers are actually just normal individuals who have been wronged or done dirty in some capacity. They are people who would be just happy to live normal everyday lives, but no, they came into contact with people who caused their inner investigator to erupt.

By the way, I don’t buy any of that. If you’re the type of person who engages in crazy behavior, its just who you are. I don’t give a f*ck if you think that its somebody else’s fault that you’ve been reduced to such. Grow the f*ck up and take some accountability for your own f*cksh*t, jackwagon.

Anyway, there are two different types of stalking. There is the stalking done by men and the stalking down by women.

Let’s explore the male stalkers first. My guess – and this is purely based on my opinion – is that men who are stalkers are far more likely to engage in actual illegal activities. You know, blatant harassment and intimidation…ya know, textbook stalker sh*t. Like a man will be waiting outside your house with one of those Stevie J faces on and rubbing his hands talking about a damn bus. You know, the type of sh*t that makes you not only want to call the police but start packing a gun. A male stalker will send you flowers to tell you that he loves you…every day of the week including Sundays and cause everybody else around you to fear for their own lives. A male stalker will likely get you fired. Because male stalkers are criminals in wait, just waiting for a reason to actually try out prison.

Yes, I’m inclined to believe that a male stalker is actually the kind that will stab you to death. Oh, and why is he stalking? I forgot that part all together. He doesn’t believe that you were where you said you were going to be or that you were with who you said you were with so he scares the f*ck out of you THEN tries to let you know he loves you through random gestures RIGHT before he scares the f*ck out of you again.

A male stalkers truth is proving what he believes, that he can’t trust you.

Then we move to the more cunning of the stalker kingdom – the female stalker. I’ll never believe that men or women are any smarter than the other. However, when it comes to cunning and vindictiveness, well, you cannot underestimate a woman “scorned”. For instance, women will dance all over the inappropriate line and crip walk really close to the illegal line but never really quite get there. Well, not until they are ready to take their stalker game to the Lifetime Channel. Basically, see A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. Women will search out every legal means that they can take to find out whatever they can. They’ll be all up in your social media and get their friends involved who somehow think that all of it makes sense. Women aren’t as likely to sit outside and wait at your front door (though in some cases they will) because they do fear the police and at least realize that the police can get involved (a fear that men don’t seem to have…we dumb).

And why do female stalkers exist? Well, simply because women need to know what happened because there has to be an answer. It can’t merely be the dude just sucks, there has to be some reason that the dude sucks to her in particular. Women believe in aggressive discovery in hopes of finding the truth. And if there’s room for some revenge in there then perhaps (depending on how much she actually has to lose in life) she may partake.

See, stalkers, both male and female are under the tremendous pressure of understanding and attempting to ensure that they are not without information. It’s the reason why people go through great lengths (and often insane from the outside looking in) for peace of mind. Which must be irony considering that the peace of mind of a stalker relies heavily on the complete disruption of another person’s life.

At the end of the day, and with that being said, stalking is bad. But those who stalk are people just like everybody else and aren’t necessarily bad. Misguided? Perhaps, but mostly people who have been placed at an information disadvantage. It’s not stalking. It’s aggressive discovery of the truth.

Yeah, okay.

Anyway, since we’ve all (and I do mean damn near everybody) has had some experience with somebody doing some level (mild = random text messages to extreme = showing up at your door and sh*t) of stalking, what are the main differences between men and women when it comes to our stalker game? And who is better and more effective, men or women and why?


For the DMVers: This Saturday in DC is a big day! First, it’s the Morehouse vs. Howard Reunion Classic Football Game where the Maroon Tigers of Morehouse face off against the Bison of Howard. And later that night is REMINISCE!!! It’s a game-afterparty BUT it’s also our one year anniversary! We’re gonna do some fun customer appreciation things and still keep up the good times. It’s FREE before 11pm with RSVP, with an open bar from 930 to 1030, and there’s no dress code!! Come party like its 1999 with VSB P and hopefully Champ as well. This party promises to be a good one!!! Come thru and hang with the kids! RSVP for free entry @



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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at

  • Jay

    If you’ve been done wrong and have actual ties with someone then its not really stalking is it….? Is it?

    • Why, yes, yes it is.

    • Iceprincess

      In my mind i see you hugging yourself & rocking back and forth as you say this ;-)

      • Val


      • Jay

        LMAO… with a thin blanket around my shoulders and that glassy-eyed Chris Rock as “Pookie” look.

      • Breezy

        BOL…yeah scratching his entire body like a junkie…talking bout its warm in here.

    • Kidsister

      Nope, its not.

      -Self proclaimed stalker

      • Jay

        I’m saying that stalking and investigating are two completely seperate things. If a woman is checking her man’s phone, looking through his things, checking up on him when he doesn’t know it that definitely qualifies as shady behavior but maybe she has a reason to think that he’s unfaithful and is trying to figure out whether or not she should continue the relationship. Of course there’s a line where it gets to be too much but sometimes its justified. I’ve been in relationships where I messed up and my S.O. had reason to be extra suspicious so all I could do was tolerate it… to a point.

        I think that stalking is snooping, investigating, and/or being waaay too persistently interested in someone that does not feel the same way, ESPECIALLY after they have made that clear.

        • nillalatte

          I’d just like to say, that if a woman has a feeling that her man is stepping out on her, then guess what… he’s stepping out on her. No need for all that other BS. Seriously, most men who aren’t doing anything shady, usually give their girl a play-by-play of their activities and put those suspicions to rest.

          • Jay

            I’d just like to say, that if a woman has a feeling that her man is stepping out on her, then guess what… he’s stepping out on her.


            • nillalatte

              It ain’t BS Jay. I’ve seen it more times than I can count.

              • Jay

                I totally get the point that you guys are trying to make but men get suspicious as well. Would you say that WHENEVER a male is suspicious then his woman is probably cheating?? Doesn’t make sense. You can be suspicious but you don’t know until you know. You’re saying that a feeling is enough to draw a conclusion from, when it isn’t… or shouldn’t be. At best this leads to jumping the gun and making decisions without clear evidence and at worst extreme b*tcha$$ness.

            • nillalatte

              “he’s stepping out on her.”

              Would you have liked it better if I rephrased and said, “He’s PROBABLY stepping out on her.”

              • Jay

                “Probably” sounds more reasonable. But if you continue to completely overlook the fact that there are (quite a few) men and women that are just suspicious by nature then I have to politely ask that you get the entire f*ck out of here.

                • nillalatte

                  LOL.. I get the FEELING someone accused you of cheating Jay. I’ve had this convo with my friend a LOT. He’s been cheated on and we go at this conversation in about the same tone.

                  I think you guys are hitting on the main reasons men & women become stalkers… suspicion and insecurities.

                • sincereluv4life

                  “I have to politely ask that you get the entire f*ck out of here.”

                  I have nothing to do with this disagreement, I just had to say—- this comment in particular was kinda hilarious. LOLOLOLOL

          • bhillboy

            Uhh.. No. You aren’t busted until you’re busted.

            • nillalatte

              I’ve seen women do all kinds of crazy shyt and deny their man was stepping out on them. She actually FELT he was cheating on her. Why do you think they have that show Cheaters? Why do you think those folks call Cheaters to investigate? Because they KNOW something ain’t right. 9 out of 10 times, it’s a persons intuition that is telling them… home boy ain’t doing right.

              • Jay

                You can’t go by Cheaters. Cheaters is called “Cheaters” because…**drum roll** it shows cheaters. They’re not going to show the cases where people suspected their mates of cheating, investigations were conducted, and no evidence was found because that would be boring. No one wants to see that. The cases that we see are the ones where there actually was cheating going on because it makes for good entertainment… I guess.

              • bhillboy

                Women’s intuition is nothing but a woman’s constant mistrust of men. If she doesn’t find any dirt its “I haven’t caught him yet” if she does find dirt its “I knew it all along, my intuition was telling me.” BS- Women distrust men even when the man is innocent. You don’t have a 6th sense you just don’t believe in men and honesty.

            • Kidsister

              Reminds me of the part in Act Like a Lady… (the book), Steve Harvey said, something along the lines of, even if you catch a man in the act with his SSN tatted on his butt, he’s still gonna deny that that was him. #truth

          • b sweet

            I may have to lightweight get with you on this Nilla.
            It does not happen like in the movies, where the woman suspects, and investigates only to find he just joined an underground fantasy baseball league or was planning her surprise 30th birthday with a pretty event planner. If a woman suspects and isn’t known for her perpetual state of paranoia or always blowing things out of proportion, most times she’s not wrong.

          • The Other Jerome

            Uh, no. Women arent phucking psychic. That’s how stalkers are born.

            I had a GF that was convinced that i was cheating on her. If i had an un-accounted hour, she assumed it was spent boning someone else. The problem of course was the i NEVER cheated on her. Why?

            1- It’s not my thing

            2- Our relationship was new enough that i was still in love right up until it ended and …

            3- She was up under me so d@mn much that i never even remotely had a chance to.

            Woman’s intuition my balls!!!!!!

            ——Seriously, most men who aren’t doing anything shady, usually give their girl a play-by-play of their activities and put those suspicions to rest——

            Really? Girl you need to wusaah. I would give a play-by-play, have Pat Summerall give a color commentary and i still would get accused!

            The crazy part is i thought that ish was cute at first. SMDH

            Homegirl ran me off with that ish (and she fine so ya’ll know my tolerance level was SUPER high for her lol)

            But too many women and men mistake paranoia for intuition/gut feeling. Often you get what your searching for or expect. RT.

            • nillalatte

              “Women arent phucking psychic.”

              I’ll never claim to be psychic, but I have very strong intuition abilities, no lie. In fact, I eluded to it in my original post. I stated I cracked my ex’s cell phone pw. I didn’t do that with technology and I can’t explain how I came to crack his pw other than to say I knew him well.

              There is a difference between intuition and right out insecurities. I’ve never asked my guy for an accounting of his day. I assume when he’s ready he’ll tell me. He usually offers the play-by-play without a word from me.

              • Rewind

                See I don’t know. I’ve battled my girl all year about her “intuition” because she always feels she’s right when she assess people. Problem is she only sees one side of people and then judges them from afar, and then chooses to chastise me for hanging with these people. She’s convinced one of my friends might have a thing for me, I know she is dead wrong. She bases this logic on the fact that my friend is single now when she wasn’t before, she called me at 11 pm once, and supposedly my girlfriend remembers her from high school. I could take her word into account but since she doesn’t even talk to the girl, her “intuition” ends up sounding like jealousy and crazy talk. I’m not saying women don’t know how to watch their own backs. I am saying some things truly are in your head. Not all…but some.

                • Breezy

                  Rewind: I don’t care what none ya’ll ninja’s say…a woman’s intuition is REAL. We have a 6th sense…a spidey sense if you will about things. It must be the mother in us or something but its real!!!!

                  • Rewind

                    I’m not denying it, I’m just saying it’s not always working right. Need to smack it a few times and check the batteries.

                    • b sweet

                      I agree. It’s all about context. Look at the fundamental reasoning of the person. Intuition is the brain’s bridge between feeling and reasoning, and I think we’re all equipped with it. Some don’t cross this bridge, preferring to stay on either side. But it’s always there if you need it and use it properly

          • She Who Reads

            Now, this is the truth! Most people overshare in conversations with significant others. It’s the nature of trust and vulnerability. You usually don’t even have to ask questions.

        • Kidsister

          “…being waaay too persistently interested in someone that does not feel the same way, ESPECIALLY after they have made that clear’

          I agree whole heartedly with this definition of stalking. I’d just add that the stalkee isn’t always aware of the stalker….There were dozens of times when my friends and I got a tip on someone’s whereabouts and as a result, we strategically placed ourselves. Unbeknownst to the subject…they were being stalked.

          • Jay

            Wait… if we’re talking about “proximity” then a LOOOT of women are stalkers and don’t even know it. Women aren’t the aggressors in courtship so they do other things to make guys come to them. I thought that “conveniently being available and present” was just one of many tools in the female bag o’ tricks.

            Crazy thing is I’ve heard A LOT of females admit to this kind of behavior after the fact. I don’t consider this behavior stalking

            • Kidsister

              It’s low on the offense meter but it definitely registers.

              • Jay

                Duly noted.

    • editgirl79

      The fruit is hanging too low and is too ripe for me not to pluck it.

      The examples posted –in regards to women– are not examples of stalking. The term “stalking” when used by men can be as outdated and irrelevant as a swag reference from Justin Bieber at a Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em field party. I know it makes men and women feel special but a cup of get over yourself is a tasty treat.

      A woman “investigating” for truth is not irrational. A woman thaking on the “if I cannot have you no one can” and popping up at your crib spot IS stalking you.

      My ex wrote to me recently after, in his words, “stalking” my Twitter page. By using a public Website to read my PUBLIC thoughts, it is quite clear he is not stalking me. Just like if I randomly visit his Instagram page I am not his stalker.

      I had an uncle that was shot in the head at point blank range by a stalker, his new girlfriend’s EX boyfriend. Post-shooting everyone that witnessed the shooting has either become a drunk, paranoid or an addict. The stalker’s reach is more than you because they change the way you have to live.

      A few of these examples of a game of elementary school dodge ball with a balled up wash cloth resulting in tales of almost being murdered.

      • YeahSo

        Sorry to hear about your uncle… that’s awful. And I do agree with your points.

      • Ms. Bridget

        This. My brother in law had/has a stalker. It caused the whole family, coworkers, even professors stress. The stalker would call these people at 2 am randomly demanding information from a spoofed number. Thank God she didn’t turn violent. The police finally, after almost a year, gathered enough information to charge her. He (my bro) was not flattered. After that experience stalking is not a joke to me. Too often no one takes it seriously until someone ends up dead.

    • yes.

  • My rule – Googling a guy you’re interested in is okay, but once you start googling every female Facebook friend? Okay, NOW you have a problem.

    • Rewind

      Or asking your friends to friend these FB chicks so that you can get access to their page without actually knowing them….trouble iz a brewing!

      • O_O People do this?

        • Sadly yes. :(

        • The reason I say this is that I had to stop my wife from stalking her old college boyfriend and his wife. What really set her off was the fact that their wedding pictures showed him in a brown tuxedo, and she had decided after our wedding that she had always wanted me in a brown tuxedo. (The truth, of course, is slightly different than that, but I don’t have time to explain that whole story.) I literally had to pull the laptop out of her hands to stop her from sending some crazy message to the dude. Plus the fact that he had married a (White) mutual acquaintance of theirs while not marrying her after being together for 6 years set her off. (Though I’m questioning the whole actual together part based on some stuff she’s said.)

          Though how come she didn’t reveal her stalker tendencies until after the I do’s is something else.

          • GirlSixx

            *Crickets* Say What NOW!!????

            Umm, The simple fact that you just said “I had to stop MY WIFE ” o__O

            For some reason every. single. time I read one of your battered husband scenarios, I feel like mediating an Intervention. *BigHug*

        • Rewind

          Please, I’ve heard of a lot worse. This is tame.

    • You know, Facebook has really created the grey area with stalkers. Like googling a dude is fine. I agree. Googling a chick is fine.

      But when you get on FB and they add you as a friend (fairly standard practice) and then they look through all of yoru family pictures and then comment (to you) on them…well, that sounds stalkerish but public domain is public domain. lol. It’s like why were you all over my third cousin’s page and telling me about my Great-great auntie’s surgery?

      • nillalatte

        LOL… my guy has done this and then told me about perusing my friends. I gave him the side eye like “you did what?!” He’s done it while we’ve actually been on the phone too. Though this is interesting behavior, I wouldn’t necessarily consider it stalking because the info is out there on the net. But, then too, I gave him permissions to view every thing on my FB. A lot of other folks don’t have permissions to even see my friend or family.

        I did get 3 of my friends to stop posting their locations tho. I told them when they post their location on their status (@ a bar or shopping or a restaurant) I have this overwhelming urge to jump in my car and drive to where they are and just watch them from a distance. lmao… now, these guys know me and know I wouldn’t do such a thing, but I think they realized just how crazy it was to constantly post their whereabouts on FB. Not safe. Especially if their FB is open.

        • i will never understand people’s need to put all of their business all over the place.

  • J

    Ha! I think i’m really good at stalking although I don’t need to. I call myself an investigator and my friends know to come to me for help with their stalking. When a group of female friends put their heads together we can find out anything we want. Sometimes I do it to random people for fun. I’ve found out about random people in Ohio or Florida and i live in NY and rarely leave. Females just dedicate more time and effort into these thing. My boyfriend better not try to f me over though.

    with that said if anyone needs help.. well hi! :)

    (I’ve been on this site for a year and this is my first time commenting. I feel cool!)

    • *checking your IP address*


    • Welcome to non-Lurkville, J! *flings confettis*

  • Calling me and saying,

    “Hey, are you busy? You wanna go grab a bite to eat? Yea? Well, I’m outside. Outside where? Outside your house, that’s where. Oh… you’re not home? Well who is that peeking out of your blinds? Your cousin, huh? Well, I’ll just pull in the driveway and wait for you to get here. Say what, now? Why am I even here? Oh, see, it’s a funny story really. I was thinking about you so I thought I’d stop by….yea, I know you said don’t come to your house, but I was missing you. Hey! who are these huge dudes pulling up behind me? Your brothers? Why do they look so angry? Hey! I thought you said you weren’t here!!! NOW you wanna come outside. Hey! Stop grabbing me, sir! I’m leaving! You don’t have to shove!!! Nei! I’ll call you, ok!!

    Yea. Something’s wrong. And I’ve never known a woman to do that.

    • KMN

      I’ve had something similar to that happen to me with two cats I know. The first was my child’s sperm donor/ex BF. He’d call me and be like whats up…not much what about you…oh you know chillin’…wondering why the 5’11 brown skinned 215 lbs cat with the black baseball cap and old school champagne colored BWM came over at 6.30 while your neighbors where picking greens on your steps (THIS is a true story about them greens…ol’ ghetto so an so neighbors) and didn’t leave for about an hour and a half. And you had on some black pants and a black shirt…well that wasn’t hard for him to figure out since black is my uniform…(like the omen…big up to lil Kim’s OLD face :o() Dude wtf? Why are you all posted in front of my house like that and why couldn’t i see you ANYWHERE? And why aren’t you looking for a job? (I question my old taste in men)
      I’ve also been stalked by the same dude with the BMW while we had a strictly physical agreement…like dude we just making macaroni and cheese not committed to each other…we’re not together so why are you so worried about who is and isn’t rolling up thru my house?
      Men can be on another one sometimes I tell you lol


    • Justmetheguy

      “Hey! who are these huge dudes pulling up behind me? Your brothers? Why do they look so angry? Hey! I thought you said you weren’t here!!! NOW you wanna come outside. Hey! Stop grabbing me, sir! I’m leaving! You don’t have to shove!!! ”

      ROTFL!!!! Hahahahaha! Man that was an excellent one-sided convo! I felt like I was at the scene bwahahaha!

    • CrayolaGirl

      That was hilarious!

    • Breezy

      I am in tears!!!!!!!

    • *perished* I totally saw this playing out in my mental mind. Great visualization skills you got there. LOL

      • *fist pump*

        Yes! Another visual reader/listener! I digs it!

  • Iceprincess

    Im not one to stalk, ever. Too much pride. And i hate snooping cuz its counterproductive. Even if i DO find out something through snooping, i cant bring it up cuz i’d be telling on myself. So i end up holding it in & thats not healthy. Its a lose/lose either way.

    • Loving Me

      We have this in common at least on the refusal to snoop. I can’t bring myself to down to the level (no offense to those of you who do) it’s just not me. If it’s to the point where I need to go through your business behind your back then I’m better off just not dealing with you period. And I will leave someone over doing the same to me especially since I’m pretty much an open book with my life anyway so if there’s something I”m not telling you, there’s probably a good reason why and for your own protection you should probably just leave it or me alone

      Although I will admit to once coming pretty damn close to being considered a stalker, but I was young, and he was worth it, and dammit I’d do it again in a heartbeat since it was pretty harmless and served my purposes in the end since I just needed him to notice me enough to make my move (this is what I tell myself so I can sleep at night lol)

      • what do you mean he was worth it? like how is somebody worth stalking?

    • Rewind

      That just makes you the crazy lady that watches us while we sleep with a knife in her hand battling her inner voices by repetitively talking to herself in two different voices at the same damn time.

      I’ll wait for you to think about that and call me a liar.

    • WIP

      I’ve never stalked either; gas is too high. Additionally, my exes were the crazy ones. They never gave me a chance to…

  • Royale W. Cheese

    Funniest euphemism of stalking I’ve ever heard…”crush research.”

    • Jay

      Nice. I like “aggressive pre-emptive courtship”.

    • Sylph

      Will be borrowing that from now on.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      Oh yeah, my latest quasi-stalker. He’s a Nigerian guy who I went out on a couple of dates with, but I lost interest because I could only understand half of what he said, his teeth were extremely jacked up, he had no friends, and he was a terrible conversationalist. Anyhow, I would always run into him on the train afterwards. I switched up my daily commute to avoid accidentally running into him. Then he texted me one afternoon and said “I saw you walking today. I thought you said you had a car. Why are you walking when you have a car?”…but much more poorly written.

      • Breezy

        annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd slain!!!!!!!!! Nigerian dudes are the worst. Remember I told you guys about that one who wanted me to take a poop on him for $200 a pop?!?!? Yeah….so…..yeah….

        • bhillboy

          You better stop playin and get that money. LOL

          • WIP

            I don’t think taking the sh*t was the issue. I’d be wondering what’s next after that. That’s where the hesitation comes from. You wanna give me $200 for something I was going to flush? make it $500 and we got a deal. Real talk, I’d just be scared of where dude’s mind was at, LOL.

        • Sweet GA Brown

          +1 never again will i attempt to interact with a nigerian male on any level other than professional. them men are a trip.

          • AfroPetite


            LOL. Nigerian men are the quintessential creeper.

        • demondog06

          that’s gross………

          so…….did you get the $200 afterwards………..

          • Breezy

            demondog06: Please believe I almost had a restraining order issued against that shid collector. I never took him up on his offer…but the way these gas prices keep trippin……

          • Corey

            True businesswomen get the cash up front.

  • Val

    Once at work there was a guy who asked me out. I told him no thanks, I don’t date people at work. Then a few month later he got wind that I was indeed dating someone from work. He actually demanded an explanation from me, in a very crazy/ loser way. Which was a little frightening. Of course the explanation was obvious but for some reason he had a mental block or something. Finally I complained to HR. They warned him and when he approached me again, like I knew he would, they fired him.

    For about a week after he was fired I’d see him standing on the corner outside of work. Which was obviously very creepy. But I started carrying my bucky to work with me, which made me feel a little safer.

    Anyway, eventually he stopped hanging around outside of work.

    • DQ

      Yeah anyone who has to get an actual reprimand from HR is probably a problem child. And then to get fired (which means you were told about this once and still can’t seem to control yourself enough to keep your livelihood) pretty much tells you all you need to know. Him hanging out after being fired was just the Creeptastic Cherry on top of a Stalker Sundae.

      • Val


        I’m thinking I lucked out as he probably hadn’t fully matured as a stalker at that point.

        • Sweet GA Brown

          well he is definitely somewhere getting it right….now

    • HR ain’t got ish on Heckler and Koch. You should always be packin just in case especially at work. Thanks to the crazy batch I work with her crazy, ex-con, Cholo bf called me out my name over the phone all the time. It got even heavier when dude popped up at work just to make sure she wasn’t with some other dude. He then proceed to try and fight me for no reason at all just becuz he though something was going on between me and her. At its heaviest as he was gettin dragged out by the police dude threatened my life. I ain’t went to work without a knife, gun, and razor to work since. HR ain’t doin ish to help me so pleezbelieve I helps myself

      • Val

        True. These days one has to be responsible for their own safety. So much happens at work. It all started with that first postal worker who went off at work. Now everyone does it. A workplace dispute was behind that shooting this past week in NYC.

        • Rewind

          A year long work dispute.

          The bigger work dispute? Cops shooting mad innocent bystanders, and should it go to court, a slap on the wrist at best…because the police were doing their job.

          Clearly they skipped firearm training, but they were doing their job *snickers*

          But anything can happen for anytime, you never know.

          • Val

            I know, right. The shooter only actually shot one person. The cops shot everyone else who was wounded. And they were only 10 feet from him and he pointed but didn’t actually fire his gun at the cops. But, with that said, I’ve never actually been in that situation. So one’s accuracy might be seriously impaired when a gun is pointed at you.

            And from what I heard on the news; unless the city just decides to settle any lawsuits out of court it’s unlikely any of the wounded bystanders will win any money in court as judges in NY State have ruled that you can’t sue a cop/ city if the cops(s) were deemed to have been justified in using deadly force.

            • Rewind

              I admit, having a gun pointed at you will scare the shyte out of you, as I remember my experience vividly. However, if I was trained to kill and trained to immobolize, I’d choose the latter because I can still get the perp without a fatality on my hands. 2 bullets are enough to put anyone down, unloading a clip is just being trigger happy and panicing.

              • Zar000

                Thats the NYPD for you… well I imagine multiple lawsuits are to follow…

                • Rewind

                  Oh I know they will, but the galls they have to do damage control already, talking about hitting flower pots and richoeting bullets. Can find some Buddhist monks with better aim.

      • nillalatte

        “I ain’t went to work without a knife, gun, and razor to work since. HR ain’t doin ish to help me so pleezbelieve I helps myself”

        I cannot blame you at.all. But, ain’t that life in general? I mean, seriously, normal people don’t have body guards 24/7. My oldest daughter got chased down by some road rage maniac one night. She called the cops and the dispatcher told her to pull over. She was on a dark road with little traffic. When she did the guy got out of his car and started punching her window while she was a sitting duck waiting on the police. When she told me what happened I went ballistic. I told her, “FCUK the police! That dispatcher has no phucking idea what the hell is going on! You drive as far and as long as you need to and get to a public, lots of people place. YOU are responsible for your own safety, period.” And, I think that’s true just about anywhere you are.

      • um, where the hell do y’all work where stuff like this doesn’t get everybody fired?

        • Todd

          Hey, no name, no blame, but I’ve worked at a spot where a woman STARTED a fist fight with a male coxworker, he defended himself, and they both kept their jobs. Some jobs are lenient like that.

        • Angel Baby

          Right? LOL WTH is really going on out here?

  • One doesn’t chop up the person and leave their body in the basement freezer…

  • DQ

    Ultimately stalking (at least the way I’m defining it for myself) is probably committed much more by women, but committed with much more dire effect when done by men.

    Like, I think that when the stalker is a man, the chances that someone ends up dead when everything’s said and done are probably higher than when the stalker is a woman. Which is why I think women probably get more of a pass when they do it, and so they do it more often. The slip stream from “snooping” to “stalking” is so easy, so seamless; you probably don’t even know when you make that transition until you receive the restraining order. In the end it’s all the same thing goal – information gathering.

    • Rewind

      Men by nature are just violent. We take things by force. I don’t think women are sly by nature, I just believe they progress to being sly when they have good teachers and enough emotional resolve. (i understand it would seem weird that a mom would teach her daughter how to stalk, but in actuality, if a girl peeps her mom having a few episodes here and there..I’m sure the tricks will rub off).

    • WIP

      This seems to be the case. If a woman is stalking you, worst case scenario you need a new paint job or a new back window. if a man is stalking you…well, catch any hour-long murder mystery show. (I hate those BTW). I think the VSB have discussed what happens when men get deep into their emotions.

    • women are just natural born stalkers?

  • Ronniehoequotes

    Hi, everyone. My name is Ronniehoequotes, and I’ve been a stalker.

    When I’ve stalked**, it was more in line with reason you gave for men: “proving… that he can’t trust you”.

    Which I admit is stupid. If you don’t trust someone, shouldn’t that be enough reason to walk away? That AHA moment when you find out you’re right isn’t going to make you feel any better.

    Eh. But you live and you learn.

    **And by “stalked” I mean more of the snooping category. I’ve checked a cell phone/pocket or two in my day. Not that creepy showing up at houses thing you mentioned. But an invasion of privacy is an invasion of privacy. Even if you’re right.

    • that’s growth right there.

    • Rewind

      You lived and learned. That’s all you can ask for.

    • Jay

      Hold on, back up, back up… your name is WHAT!?

      • Breezy


      • Zar000


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