Man Buys 99 iPhones To Propose; Girlfriend Says “iDon’t” » VSB

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Man Buys 99 iPhones To Propose; Girlfriend Says “iDon’t”



We might as well get the obvious joke out of the way. My man has 99 iProblems and a bitch aint one.

That felt good.

Apparently, a dude decided to propose to his girlfriend on Singles Day so he could un-single himself. He came up with the bright idea to buy 99 iPhones and place them in the shape of a heart during his grand proposal. She, however, was on that contrast tip. (I swear I could do smartphone puns for days.)

It cost him two years of his salary (about 82K!). Aw, how sweet.

Except, I have questions Id rather ask Sway than Siri. Because Siri might get a bit offended. But, um… WHY? What was the real purpose of the iPhones? He could’ve used anything to make a heart. Flowers, miniature girl/boy dolls, whale placentas, K. Michelle’s “Anybody Wanna Buy A Heart?” The possibilities are literally endless.

Even if she said YES, what in the Granny Smith hell would they had done with all those extra fucking phones???

Either way, I hope he asks his new girlfriends — the 99 Siris he now owns — how to make better choices.

Roll Call

Roll Call is a daily collection of interesting news stories, articles, blogs, and thinkpieces, curated by Tonja Stidhum and Natalie Degraffinried. They both have big hair, but they are not the same person.

  • real tears. this is everything.

  • Animate

    So he spent 82k on iPhones and probably bout 5k on a ring (I have no basis for this last number). she should have said no just cause he bought 99 iPhones.

    I’m curious about his lifestyle and how long they were together. If he saved two year of his salary how long has this been in the works?

  • LOL! Public proposals are rarely a good idea. Not to mention the iPhone nonsense.

  • h.h.h.

    once again proving Android > Apple

    go cop that Nexus 6…for the lickle yout dem.

    • Tonja (aka Cheeks)


      • h.h.h.

        you spelled ‘yes’ wrong.

        • Tonja (aka Cheeks)

          On Opposite Day? Sure.

    • Animate

      I’m loving my Nexus 5. the N6 may actually too large for my hands. I should be getting Lollipop soon anyway seeing that the factory images were just released.

      • h.h.h.

        i think i’m getting that 6 in February as a valentines day gift.
        to myself.

    • CamCamtheGreat

    • Note 4 here. I went in to try and get the iphone 6, but the Note took a big shanoopy all over it so i got the Note.

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