Now let’s get back to business.
Men are simple creatures. We really are. You come home with a set of problems, we’re going to try to fix it. Now, we know that you don’t want us to fix your problem and really just want to hear yourself talk vent and share with us the details and frustrations of the day…
…but largely, we don’t want to hear it. Period.
And it’s not that we don’t want to hear you, it’s just that we’d really prefer not to listen to you go on and on about some problems that we could solve in a mere matter of seconds. And it spans across all types of arenas. Shoot. No pun intended.
You don’t believe me? Allow me to demonstrate.
Problem: Baby, I just look fat. This dress makes me look fat and I’m fatter than fat because I’m fat. Fat fat fat.
Desired Solution: Girl, you’re not fat, you’re beautiful and the world doesn’t fully understand the beautiousness that is you. There’s no way that you’d ever be fat.
(You see how that doesn’t solve anything?)
Man Solution: Change clothes and put on something that doesn’t make you look fat.
Do you see how this works? Let’s solve a few more problems that women have, you know, like man.
Problem: I’m not sure if he likes me.
Man solution: Does he actually call you first and/or spend time with you even when he doesn’t or you’re on your “monthly?” If so, he likes you. If not, he’s banging your best friend.
Problem: My friends are trifling. My girl, Sharon, said that she was going to go with me to the mall but she flaked out on me for some dude. Ain’t she trifling?
Solution: Yes she is. Get a new friend. She will always put random men in front of you. She will let you die just to get some booty.
Problem: My boss passed me over for a promotion. Hold me and make me feel better.
Solution: No. Go postal. Just don’t fly a plane into the building. It’s bad for your skin.
Problem: I can’t tell if he loves me.
Solution: If he ain’t say it, he don’t do it. (Not sure why more women are so curious about this one. If a man doesn’t tell you he loves you or that you’re his girlfriend, he does not and you are not. Actions speak louder than words…unless words are available.)
Problem: My boyfriend cheated on me but I still really love him and don’t want to leave him. I’m so confrused like Young Buck calling 50 Cent. I just don’t know what to do but because I’m a woman I keep talking about this over and over.
Solution: He cheated once he’ll do it again. Either ship out, join in, or shut the f*ck up about it and accept that some other chick juggled your man’s balls. You clearly want to stay so stay and shut up about it. Everybody will judge you so just suck it up. The situation, not his balls. Well, do that too.
Problem: My boyfriend doesn’t like talking to me.
Solution: Get some girlfriends. Man watch TV.
Problem: I don’t understand men and need help.
Solution: Read Very Smart Brothas bitches.
Those are a few solutions to some common problems of women. Good people of the VSB, what are some other simple and common sense solutions to problems that arise? Don’t be shy.
Share.
Bitches.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
smh…I hear these male solutions from my guy friends. One of my conversations literally went like this.
Problem: “So…I don’t like Rachel* because she has been spreading a vicious rumor about me.”
Male Solution: “Well confront her and if she doesn’t say sorry, punch her in the face. Girls are so strange, if a guy has a problem, we fight outside then we come back and we are friends again. You guys complicate everything!”
Basically, guys make everything simple and stupid! lol I didn’t fight her, I just confronted her and kept it moving.
*Name changed for protect the trifling
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco, god I hate typos! To protect the trifling….
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco,
“Basically, guys make everything simple and stupid! lol ”
mmhmm.basically.
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco,
“Basically, guys make everything simple and stupid! lol ”
We have to keep the conversation in the same language.
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco,
If you’re over 25 (hell, 21) of course you shouldn’t try to fight her (unless you knew you could take her). But the solution of saying something about it to her and keepin’ it moving is advice I would have gave and it IS quite simple, cut and dry. Why you would feel the need to boggle your male friend with this question is beyond me.
My point, a lot of times, women already know the real answers to certain problems, they just want/need confirmation OR want someone to tell them differently because even though they know what they SHOULD do, they don’t necessarily want to do it.
“Solution: Read Very Smart Brothas bitches.”
Nice. All of life’s problems should be this easy.
@Dr Hak,
Funny, ’cause I have definitely directed a few chicks to this site who have had reoccurring relationship problems or just didn’t have any good dudes in their life to get some insightful information and shyt from.
This. Is. Funny.
Yes, I’m back bitches. Just saying.
Now, I’m out.
Soooo is “bitches” the new “and sh*t”?
She will let you die just to get some booty.
Lol, for real though, that’s one trifling heifer.
No. Go postal. Just don’t fly a plane into the building. It’s bad for your skin.
Too soon? I saw in the news that the Einsteins in question were two anti Government extremists, one white and the other black; man, if that’s not proof of a post racial society right there, then bite my tongue and call me Sue.
1. Oflove: So ***** still hasn’t called. You think I could just send a little ‘Hi, how are you doing?’ casual type text, nothing major.
Guy friend: No.
Oflove: Seriously, why not? It’s not the 1950s, girls can do ish now, like call guys they like.
Guy friend: Fine, call.
Oflove: Yeah, it’s not too pushy/clingy/desperate
Guy friend: It is all the above. If **** wants to call, he’ll call.
2. Oflove: Aaaargh I hate my phucking job. I just need to quit.
Guy friend: You can’t; you’re broke with no other job prospects in sight. Anyway, 90% of the world hates their phucking job.
3. Oflove (conversation I had yesterday): Holy cr*p dude! I gained like a ten pounds of water weight the last two months.
Guy friend: What??? That’s phucking retarded. You can’t gain ten pounds and call it water weight. You just need to get you a** to the gym.
At least he keeps it real, if brutally honest.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Lol, I need Guy friend in my life for some of that “wakethef#ckup” truth.
@mateosmuse,
Yup, I gots me one of them. Every woman needs at least one dude in her life who will tell her the straight-up truth…and is not trying to sex her (that “not trying to sex her” part is very important).
@ofloveandotherdemons,
“Too soon? I saw in the news that the Einsteins in question were two anti Government extremists, one white and the other black; man, ”
Um….no.
It was only one white man who acted on his craziness. The Black man who died was a victim who worked in the building.
http://www.statesman.com/news/local/irs-officials-meet-with-employees-as-officals-confirm-268876.html
@miss t-lee,
My bad, pulled a Fox news there. I should double check my info before posting. Sorry
@ofloveandotherdemons,
LOL@fox news.
It’s all good.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
“2. Oflove: Aaaargh I hate my phucking job. I just need to quit. Guy friend: You can’t; you’re broke with no other job prospects in sight. Anyway, 90 % of the world hates their phucking job.”
This line of thinking is more prominent than it should be. I had an ex who quit her job with no forewarning, no back up plans, no nothing. Dumb. Move.
Even worse, one of homeboy’s wife quit her job because she was “tired of it” without discussing anything with him. Just out the blue, “They keep pissing me off, so I quit!”-type shyt. He made a decent living, but not enough to support the two of them and their two daughters on his income alone. She got another job (that she despise as well) afterwards, but those were tough times for them.
My question: Why are some women so quick to quit their jobs when they “don’t like it”, but don’t look at the consequences that become of it? (This sounds like a question I should’ve posed in the champ’s post about things I don’t know about women)
I don’t have a real comment on this one yet…just wanted to say….”I LOVE THIS BLOG!
If women have a problem and you [guys] keep solving them (all willy nilly)… then, what ever will we do to give you [guys] something to do? It’s in my DNA to make things seem more difficult than they are.
I mean, we already know about the simple approach to our issue(s) BUT it’s not usually how life works and then we become all uncomfy & suspect and when I feel suspicious… no one is safe.
So, ya see how this works? Plus, most of us women just want you to feel good about yourself when you give a solution to a prob, soooo, w/ that said… I’ll take your solution(s) and raise you 99 more problems.
:-p
@Made In Hawaii,
thats just wrong. I got my girl cause I wanna share all my glorious fun with her. I don’t wanna spend all my time solving imaginary probelms. Chicks with constant easily solved problems get put on the trading block. I’m too cool to be stressed with such nuance.
@Deviant,
Church!
@Deviant, I won’t waste my time putting them on the trading block. I will just place them on waivers and be through with it.
@Dash,
or just do em like Tomlinson and let someone else sign em
@Made In Hawaii,
“If women have a problem and you [guys] keep solving them ( all willy nilly)… then, what ever will we do to give you [guys] something to do? It’s in my DNA to make things seem more difficult than they are.”
Trust. We save the world on a daily basis so you don’t need to give us “something to do”. We try to make things easier for you, we just want the same.
@Monk,
co-sign!
My nuggets of wisdom are characterized by brevity; it’s my way of offering an obvious yet legitimate solution while often reminding you that you’re not really all that special. Peep game:
Problem: “I don’t feel like doing .”
P’s solution: “Then don’t.”
Problem: “I can’t stand her/him/my boss/. They do this and this and that and that and they don’t realize I’m this kinda person and I operate this way and that way and blahblahblah. I don’t want to be rude but what should I do?”
[P's thoughts: Notice that "not wanting to be rude" eliminates right off the bat the most obvious and effective solution to such situations, so I'll pretend like you didn't say that…]
P’s solution: “Tell them to have a Coke and a smile and shut the f*ck up.”
Problem: “This dude keeps texting/calling/Facebooking [P's thoughts: Is this actually a verb?] me but I’m not feeling him. I don’t want to lead him but I don’t want to break his heart, so what should I tell him?”
[P's thoughts: Is this some high school sh*t? Just tell dude you don't like him.]
P’s solution: Tell the dude you don’t like him.
Her: But I don’t want to hurt him.
P: …tell the dude you don’t like him…
Problem: “THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. .”
[P's thoughts: Barring a death or a major physical/social/mental/employment issue, it's probably not the worst day of your life. While I'm sure having your hair appointment rescheduled sucks, it's not the end of the world.]
P’s solution: “I’m sorry to hear that. Don’t dwell on it, everything will be cool.”
Her: “No you just don’t understand! BLAHBLAHBLAH…”
P’s solution, part 2: No, I understand perfectly because you just took 10 minutes explaining it to me. Boo-n*gga-hoo. Get over yourself.
Whether right or wrong, I’m the most straightforward brotha you’ll ever meet. Yeah, my people skills could probably use some refining, but like Dave ChappelIe said, I graduated from grade school and I don’t have to take sh*t from anybody.
@P.,
Funniest ish I’ve read this week!
@Caballeroso,
aside from Panama’s post, I’m gonna have to co-sign that lol
@P.,
fukc people skills…people don’t appreciate them anyway
@P.,
Boo-n*gga-hoo. Get over yourself.
I literally thought this a couple days ago… lol
Problem:He won’t go to see the Sex and the City Movie with me.
Solution: Go with your friends. If you don’t have friends quit what it is you do to drive them away.
Problem: He does not like to go to the mall with me.
Solution: Go with your friends. If not see problem one. Also entertain the option of shopping alone or online.
Problem: He does not like to talk to me.
Solution: Become interesting. Refine your sexy bantering skills or just be quiet.
@Dash, So in other words just dump him and go get a good set of friends instead.
@Raqi,
Basically. I have been dropped for refusing to be a purse holder or girlfriend stand in. That is what friend’s and mothers are for. I don’t require that my girl endure me watching old black and white boxing matches, so I don’t think my one and only off day should be dominated by doing things that are of no interest to me.
I have been dropped for refusing to be a purse holder or girlfriend stand in
@Dash, LOL you should consider yourself lucky for that one. That’s straight crazy.
But…but I am not saying that we expect you all to give in and endure everything we want to do, but there is a place that we must compromise as a couple. You do a little of what I want. I do a little of what you want. We do the things we like to do together. And we have our time apart doing what we want to do separately. That IMO is a well working system.
Now sit over there and hold my bag whilez I try on theze 15 pair of shoez.
Problem: Baby, I just look fat. This dress makes me look fat and I’m fatter than fat because I’m fat. Fat fat fat.
Desired Solution: Girl, you’re not fat, you’re beautiful and the world doesn’t fully understand the beautiousness that is you. There’s no way that you’d ever be fat.
(You see how that doesn’t solve anything?)-Comeon now Panama, you know this ish right here solves a whole bunch of problems …it will give you a “get out of jail fee card” with her, she will think that you are the bestest VSB around, being all sensitive and sh*t, cardinal rule NEVER co-sign on fat..it doesn’t matter if she’s lookin like some random elephant from the circus in a tu tu..you betta just tell her how beauteous she is & keep it movin…or you’ll just set off a whole nother kinda firestorm of issues
@bajanflchick,
“Comeon now Panama, you know this ish right here solves a whole bunch of problems ”
it solves nothing because the question will come up again and again. Its like taking asprin for a toothache.
@Deviant-temporary solution, exactly, what men are apparently looking for …with their simple simon selves…they really can’t handle the oops, complexities that are VSS….
@bajanflchick,
I think you misunderstood what I said
@bajanflchick,
No, we’re not looking for temporary solutions at all. As Deviant stated, the question will continue to come up if we lie about it the first time. You’re afraid of the truth (even though you already know it).
@bajanflchick,
cardinal rule NEVER co-sign on fat
I would say Cardinal Rule: “Never ask your man for validation on this”… It’s just a set up for disaster…
@Sula, AGREED…..sorry for all of the misunderstandings & what not….this is actually the best solution for all , I stand corrected…kind of like the military policy “dont’s ask, don’t tell” -but that’s a whole nother story…
@bajanflchick, LOL You are correct. When will the menfolk start to realize that the right response will be to both of our benefits?
It will make me feel good and when I feel good I will want him to share in my feelgoodness.
@Raqi,
This is the temporary solution. You’re basically asking men to B.S. women so women feel good about themselves. Men know this. I’m curious as to why some women think the BS you want us to give you is an actual solution.
@Deviant, to tell you woman that you like/love her the way she is is considered BSing to you? I didn’t say lie to us. I said just give a response that will make us feel better. While it is somewhat tongue in cheek I am kinda sorta serious.
haha, you dudes are funny. Many complain/advise us that you’d rather not hear any of our ish. Understood. Why then, when some of us choose to vent elsewhere and not ‘bug’ you with our problems, do (some/most) dudes turn into the biggest b*tches ever?
Really, I’m fine solving my own problems and venting to a stranger/colleague/bum on the street/whoever/ anybody except my boo.
Why? I don’t need that “Lord, please hit her mute button for me now!” face from someone when I’m going thru difficult f*ckin’ stuff. Still cracks me up like a mutha though when some of my favorite males complain that I’m ‘shutting them out’…..
Well, isn’t that what you wanted, goofball?
p.s.> are women still having convos about ‘looking fat in jeans’ and nagging about going to ‘chick flicks’ w/ their men? In what parallel universe does this still occur? That’s what ‘girls’ have ‘girlfriends’ for.
@GeekChicness,
Why then, when some of us choose to vent elsewhere and not ‘bug’ you with our problems, do (some/most) dudes turn into the biggest b*tches ever?
Really, I’m fine solving my own problems and venting to a stranger/colleague/bum on the street/whoever/ anybody except my boo.
*In valley girl’s voice* Oh my God, this like so totally just happened to me!!!
First of all, my default setting is “Fix my problems by myself”… now you are my SO and I am trying to do the whole gamut and share stuff with you, and you will subtly complain that we never talk about the “fun stuff”? Sure. Fun Stuff. We will… Now why are you coming back a couple of weeks later, talking about “you feel a disconnection”… You do uh, partner? *smh*… Yeah, it’s called “we do fun stuff together” and I deal with the “serious stuff” with whomever is appropriate and that we just learned was not you… Talking about I misunderstood what you were saying… Boy, please, make up your mind. And you’ve figured out how you want to do it, let me know. Meanwhile I will be solving my own problems like I have done for the past, well, how many years. Thanx much.
*whew, I guess I had to vent uh? Lol!*
p.s: Co-sign on your p.s… Who are those girls who go shopping with their men? That’s torture for me!!
@Sula, LMBO. They talk about us but I don’t think they even know what they want.
They want us to communicate as a couple, but only when it’s convenient for them???????
@Sula,
WHEW! *hands Miss Sula a glass of water*
@Sula,
“First of all, my default setting is “Fix my problems by myself”… now you are my SO and I am trying to do the whole gamut and share stuff with you, and you will subtly complain that we never talk about the “fun stuff”? Sure. Fun Stuff. We will… Now why are you coming back a couple of weeks later, talking about “you feel a disconnection”…”
OKAAAAAY? It annoys me to no end when men complain “this isn’t fun” anymore” when even a minor problem comes up. Look here, home slice, you wanted a relationship, right? Well, sometimes there are things that couples go through that aren’t “fun.” If you want constant amusement, go to the carnival or better yet, check out VSB (you’ll find plenty of males who share your need for constant fun while avoiding serious stuff).
@Ivyette,
This sounds personal.
I think you underestimate men. We understand a relationship will not always be fun, however, some things are best left unasked.
I don’t ask my SO many things b/c deep down I already know what I have to do, so there’s no need to waste someone else’s brain power on something I already know must be done.
@Sula,
“First of all, my default setting is “Fix my problems by myself”… now you are my SO and I am trying to do the whole gamut and share stuff with you, and you will subtly complain that we never talk about the “fun stuff”? ”
^^^Cosignage all of that there…
I need you to stay over there and stop rehashing the last *discussion* I had to have with the SO…
I’m on the phone with as close to BFF (or a reasonable facsimile) talking about me being stressed…(he’s handled all that conversation for the past 17 years…that’s what he’s there for…duh). I come back in the room (feeling lighter than air) and SERVING dinner while he’s camped out Al Bundy style in front of the comp and what response do I get?
“You don’t tell ME all this stuff…you only joke with me about random stuff”…
Luckily, I’m a VSS, I reminded him to check the email I’d sent earlier that day that he laughed off and said was me “being petty”. Don’t get pissy when someone else listens if that’s not the role you SAID you wanted to play.
For a reason quite similar to this topic I told my husband yesterday that he does not ever have to worry about me saying another word to him every again. LOL And as of about 8pm last night I haven’t spoken one syllable to or at him.
For a reason quite similar to this topic I told my husband yesterday that he does not ever have to worry about me saying another word to him ever again. LOL And as of about 8pm last night I haven’t spoken one syllable to or at him.
@Raqi,
This totally sounds like something I would have done.
@miss t-lee,
When he ask me what’s wrong, which he will, I will just tell him that I am giving him what he wants. LOL
@Raqi,
YES!!! We are cut from the same cloth.
*giggling*
@Raqi,
Your husband is somewhere fist pumping like crazy.
@Dash,
Your husband is somewhere fist pumping like crazy until…..until he wants something.
@Raqi,
I see I am not the only one up here venting!
Lol…this was funny. A nice way to start the morning. But seriously my male friends react in the same nature. Even my gay male friends. Hmmmm?
@Tahirah, Gay dudes are still dudes/men LOL
@Tahirah, until they want something. You can’t shut them up when they are wanting something and needing you for it.
True..but sometimes, we don’t want your solution. We want you to just shut up, listen and nod. Simple as that. If I ask you for a solution then by all means, offer one. If I don’t, don’t offer me one. If you do, we just get more upset and this time its with you. Plus, sometimes your solutions are wack.
@QueenT,
Please understand that it is simply our nature to solve/fix stuff. It is also our nature to be more direct. So the concept of someone speaking about a problem at great lengths and in great detail is incomprehensible, especially when to us the solution is so simple and straightforward. It evokes the “why are you torturing me for no apparent reason” response.
@Caballeroso,
Please understand that it is simply our nature to solve/fix stuff.
Yeah we get that. But sometimes work against nature, we all have to at some point. What irritates me is when it happens in professional settings. Ugh!
women say they want the truth, but WOMEN CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. Good job VSB.
@undressingHER, thats not true..some people in general can’t handle the truth and would rather deal in lies!
Folk need to learn to ask the right questions and/or when not to LOL
@undressingHER, Men can’t handle the truth either.
lol…let y’all hear about our problems or whatever from someone else and y’all would hit the roof!!
For the longest lil bit, I wouldn’t talk with Mr Mister about any problem or annoyance because I didn’t need a solution. I just wanted him to listen and comfort me, which I told him in not so nice words
, so when I started to JUST talk to my girls or my mother or HIS mother about stuff and we would all be together and they would ask me “So Smiley Face, how’s such and such situation at work?”
He’d be perplexed like: “what situation?”
*said sarcastically*
Me: it was nothing to worry about, I just needed to vent and get it out of my system and didn’t want to bother you
Him: hmmmmmm
We couldn’t even get in the car good without him asking me why I didn’t talk to him about stuff anymore, in not so nice words of course.
Argument ensued. Peace was restored. Solution arises: just shut up and let me vent.
@Smiley Face,
This right here, this right here, is THE truth.com!
let y’all hear about our problems or whatever from someone else and y’all would hit the roof!!
@Smiley Face, girl ain’t that the truth. God forbid I tell my girlfriend something that she just so happen to mention to her man and it comes up in casual conversation about how she is helping me deal with an issue……….
On Sunday I got this one:
Problem: The inept f#$%s at Bojangles gave my GF fries instead of Bo-rounds thusly leading opening the door for this question: “Why does all the bad $hit happen to me?”
Solution in my mind: I guess you should go apologize to that gypsy that you pissed off.
Actual solution: I offered her some of mine, but she refused. After that I just ignored her. Fast food potato products just weren’t worth the headache of a philosophical break down of a quasi-troubled life.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
At this point, I think you did all you could do…lol
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E., “Fast food potato products just weren’t worth the headache of a philosophical break down of a quasi-troubled life.”- Now that’s some deep s*#t right there…LOVIN IT
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
Next time, redirect her to this article. Luck can be cultivated. She will thank you for it.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E., Wow. I think her problem may be a bit more than a screwed up order.
@Raqi, Little bit. She’s a middle child, who lost both parents before the age of 13, who was then raised by puritanical family members who had three kids of their own. So yes, there are a few issues. Not that I don’t have my own.
Like someone else said, sometimes you just want someone listen, share your concerns etc not necessarily fix them. The answers I find are always on the inside, even when we don’t like them LOL that goes for everyone
I wanna know why women will ask for a man’s advice, hear it, discount it, then get the SAME response (often verbatim) from their girlfriend. Except, when the gf says it, she takes it as LAW?
Is it that women don’t want to admit when a man is right? The simplest answer is often the correct one.
@Joppie,
I actually get this more from men… or maybe the men I dated
who probably thought they were in a “who’s right?” contest with me… and guess who was winning?
.I already told you that this way is longer than the alternate route I am offering, but no, you insist it’s not… until Mapquest says otherwise, and then you have to hang your head in shame. *smh*
And this is probably why I have mostly guy friends, even tho I’m in a sorority. Lol. My linesister said I have too easy of a way of thinking. Everyone can’t think like that. *shrugs*
this is after she whines about wanting a bday party, umm ok then throw one. Or the $400 pumps she wants that she’s only going to wear once, ummm ok don’t buy them. Or her “boyfriend” that she argues with every other day so she can hookup with her ex, ummm ok. You really don’t like him; break up with him.
Too much unnecessary conversation bout silly shit.
Oh PJ…. while this was a good chuckle… I refuse to be an ENABLER of men’s situational “bitchassness” LOL.
Women are supposed to conform to a man’s nature.. f*ck that, they need to conform to our nature and get the f*ck over it!! Guys are always resistant at first but eventually they’ll fall in line when they realize they’re no match for PMS/Angry Black Woman Syndrome
@BKSweetheart, Props on using “situational “bitchassness”
@Raqi,
This is the temporary solution. You’re basically asking men to B.S. women so women feel good about themselves. Men know this. I’m curious as to why some women think the BS you want us to give you is an actual solution.
@Deviant,
why did this pop up here?
Okay since you’re so good at solving women’s problems here are a few for you to tackle:
All the men I meet seem to only want one thing (and we know what that is) I want a relationship…what should I do?
I have heavy furniture that I need to have moved but I’m not currently sleeping with anyone would it be wrong to lead a guy who I know likes me but I don’t feel the same way on to get him to help me move my furniture?
Should I buy an iphone, a google nexus one (so I can keep my current carrier), or just keep my old whack phone and buy a new purse?
Let’s see your simple man logic handle those!
@klysha,
“Should I buy an iphone, a google nexus one (so I can keep my current carrier), or just keep my old whack phone and buy a new purse?”
As a current iPhone user I suggest the iPhone. While I hate the AAC format no other companies have as much aftermarket support for their phone.
“All the men I meet seem to only want one thing (and we know what that is) I want a relationship…what should I do?”
Stop soliciting on VSB.
“I have heavy furniture that I need to have moved but I’m not currently sleeping with anyone would it be wrong to lead a guy who I know likes me but I don’t feel the same way on to get him to help me move my furniture?”
If he is corny enough to do it why not? As long as you are not leading him on.
@klysha,
“All the men I meet seem to only want one thing (and we know what that is) I want a relationship…what should I do?”
Meet a 30+ year old Virgo.
“I have heavy furniture that I need to have moved but I’m not currently sleeping with anyone would it be wrong to lead a guy who I know likes me but I don’t feel the same way on to get him to help me move my furniture?”
Let’s rephase this one with a substitute question; your answer may be more obvious: I want to sleep with Klysha since I’m in a dry spell would it be wrong to make her think I want a relationship even though I don’t to get her to sleep with me?
@Caballeroso,
You two were certainly nicer in your responses than my azzholian mind at the time would’ve been.
@Caballeroso, I’ve had bad experiences with Virgos in the past…I’m now convinced that all Virgos are borderline psychopaths
good point about the furniture
@Humble_one I do not solicit on VSB LOL
*by the way these problems were hypothetical….well except the one about the phones
@klysha,
“I do not solicit on VSB”
I was just going off your “deez” comment from last week. You can’t false advertise. Also there is a rumor that the iPhone 4G maybe coming out later this year.
1-problem: what do you think of me? i mean do u find me attractive?..uh i mean among all my friends who do u think its the cutest….?
solution: its you …hello! (secretly i know its not her but hey..tell her what she wants to hear)
@oliver, WTF asks some sh*t like that??? WOW LLS, I still don’t condone lying tho LOL…
Affirmation on the humble is good, its the best kind, makes one feel good giving and receiving…………. phishing for compliments or being in some type of beauty competition with your friends is not good, as a matter of fact. its very wack, says alot about the person too!
Good people of the VSB, what are some other simple and common sense solutions to problems that arise? Don’t be shy.
Her problem: I loaned my friend $100 2 months ago and she hasn’t paid me back. She has bought a new purse, boots, and went to Vegas with no notion of paying me back
Solution: sleep with Humble
Her problem: Have I gained weight? Do I look fat?
Solution: sleep with Humble
Her problem: Everytime I go out with my girlfriend she embrasses me. What should I do?
Solution: sleep with Humble
Her problem: Why can’t I find a man that is sensitive and affectionate?
Solution: sleep with Humble
@Humble_One,
I see we are on a one-track solution. Lol!
@Sula,
gotta keep it simple.
@Humble_One, LOL…you offered a simple solution.
Thank you Klysha! I want a man to be my friend and get to know me better before he wants to have sex. Help me with that!
What stuck in my spirit when I read this blog today is that it seems that we always have to “find solutions to women problems”, but there are not enough people helping men solve their issues and women have to deal with that. Men have such big egos always think they have the answers for women problems, but what about their own? It seems that their are men who seek out women who can’t handle their own issues so they feel good about trying to solve them! A woman who can solve her own problems has to wait until he is ready to solve his problems and commit! Just sayin’….
@Natasha, you cannot change a man’s nature, its all in what you want tho..if you don’t want to sleep wit dude off the break don’t sleep wit him, it isnt going to make him not want to sleep wit you tho LOL but hopefully in the process he gets to know you as person somewhere up in the mix/process as well LOL, good luck!!!!
Us women have way more power than we sometimes realize, we set the pace, and if a mofo is that pressed to hit, that he can’t genuinely get to know you beforehand, guess what you don’t need him anyway, side pieces aside LMAO!!!!
@OrangeStar616, I agree!
Man problem: I’m a University of Pittsburgh football player and I’ve been given lots of cash by boosters. Since I’m a loyal student of the hip hop culture (big up to souljah boy) I posted pics of all my money, shoes and shopping bags on twitter for the world to see and envy my ghetto fabulousness and newfound ability to “make it rain”. Unfortunately i was kicked off the football team as a result of such. (F*ckin haters!!) What do I do????
Woman response: Boy yous a damn fool!!! Why didn’t you take me shopping first??!!!!???
@BKSweetheart,
That kat was a supreme idiot.
*Twitter strikes again…
@BKSweetheart,
Hilariously sad… More proof that the world needs more “Men solutions to Men problems” instead of worrying about ours…. We’ll be fine, we promise.
@BKSweetheart, Well apparently Serena Williams has the same problem. She has gotten some money and now she asserts that “the state of most black men is so low the only thing you can do is love them. Like a poor homeless dog. You can’t expect it to protect you. You can only offer shelter and love and watch as our neighbor’s pit-bull protects his home and family.”
Solution: Get a cat!! as far as black men (speaking for myself) are concerned she is an undesirable and despite her wealth we are not interested.
@xave,
When and where did Serena Williams say that?
@Humble_One, Allegedly it’s a “hoax” but it was circulated during the Australian Open.
I really love this blog. I don’t have close personal straight guy friends (one of us would always eff it up by liking the other), but I do have brothers/my closest friends’ boyfriends to ask for advice, when I even bother to ask for help. I don’t like to admit I can’t handle some sh*t on my own.
Messed up thing is, I usually know the solution to the problem before I ask a guy or even a girl friend for help, I’m just stubborn as hell and am looking for any other avenue to take because the solution is 9 times out of 10 something I would really dislike doing. I just want someone else to tell me it’s unnecessary…that I can just tweak the situation a little bit without making myself unhappy/pissed off. I do realize that’s incredibly unreasonable, which is why these have never been responses given to any of my problems:
Guy Friend: “You don’t have to break up with him. While he’s sleeping, just ****** him with a ***** ***** and ***** under his *****. That’ll fix the problem for good and y’all will be happy forever.”
Girl Friend: “Girl, quit stressing yourself out over medical school. Listen to this mp3 every night and you’ll be at top of the class, all while still getting to have a social life.”
*Sigh* A girl can dream though…even though she’s supposed to be studying right damn now.
“I’m so confused like Young Buck calling 50 Cent”
ROFLMAO
This is one of the things about men that I love. Men skip past all of the fluff and get right to point. When I would go to my ex with a problem and even tell him my solution ideas, he could still come up with an even better solution that cut out at least two extra steps that I put in! When I want to vent and act a fool about a problem, I call my girlfriends. When I need the problem fixed with a cut-n-dry solution, I call up the men folk.
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This is one of the things about men that I love. Men skip past all of the fluff and get right to the point. When I would go to my ex with a problem and even tell him my solution ideas, he could still come up with an even better solution that cut out at least two extra steps that I put in! I admit that I would give him the “Oh no he didn’t” attitude at first, but I learned to appreciate it later. When I want to vent and act a fool about a problem, I call my girlfriends. When I need the problem fixed with a cut-n-dry solution, I call up the men folk.
Actions speak louder than words, unless words are available.
New quotable…
I love love this post!!! cosign and sh*t!!! funny things is most guys don’t like women that think this way..my ex told me i was too nonchalant and acted like i didn’t give a f*ck about anything…like fa real…really ok then bye! I don’t have time for this shid…life is too short to waste it on nonsense and crying over spilled milk…I’m an ICU nurse i see folks die or almost die on the regular…a lot of shid folks worry about aint even worth it…stop worrying and start living…Time here is precious….
got a problem: do solution A …solution A doesnt work try solution B..still doesn’t work maybe it wasn’t really a problem or mayb you’re the problem…whatever deal with it and move on.. i don’t have headaches and shid ..he was always stressed and really a downer for me anyway…sucka!! on to the next one! lol!
@caramel eclair, careful tho, you don’t want to be too detached cause life is precious like you said and so are the connections we make.
I don’t see how these are “Women problems” when most of these scenarios (arguably all) could exist in a homosexual relationship or a non-woman have these problems.
A lot of these are tired stereotypes that have been the butt of unfunny jokes for way too long.
Caramel eclair? You sound really familiar! Do you live in the 516 area code?
And that’s why you guys are always in trouble with your women, lol. I know everything seems clear to you guys but you know we as women tend to over analyze and want options. It’s the way of the genders. If a woman is smart she will never ask for a mans advice in the first place because if he isn’t gay we are gonna get pissed at what he says, lol.
Tiffany
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com/