Comments on: making love in the club: 13 tips on how to act when you’re out

By: Reggae Gyals

Reggae Gyals — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 04:09:49 +0000

Oh Champ! I have an infinite universe for respect for you, EXCEPT FOR #3 on this list!
I am dissapoint.

I LOVE dancehall music! I LOVE to dance to dancehall music! I ABSOLUTELY CAN’T STAND IT when some (usually drunk) douchebag comes up behind me and starts dancing with me by surprise! WHY? Because it’s so goddamn DISRESPECTFUL.

There is nothing okay with this kind of behavior, regardless of the genre of music playing. A woman’s body is hers; her personal space is sacred to her. And no man has the right to invade that space.

I run a women’s empowerment group within the reggae community of the SF Bay Area, and one of our main foci (yep, that’s plural for “focus,” look it up) is to inform men of the PROPER way to approach a woman on the dancefloor, particularly at reggae & dancehall clubs.

Women do not attend these clubs and dance for the entertainment of men; we do it purely for personal enjoyment. If you want to dance, ASK before you TOUCH. It’s a basic form of respect. In short, we are not horses.

I’m really bummed that you’ve indicated that you think its perfectly acceptable for a man to completely disregard a woman’s personal space, based solely on the genre of music she enjoys dancing to. That’s quite ignorant, and you’re smarter than that, Champ.

say it ain’t so!

By: SaneN85

SaneN85 — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:56:27 +0000

Maybe I’m different, but I do not consider my friends off limits once I decide I’m not interested in a person. I’d feel silly telling my girl she can’t talk to someone because we flirted for five minutes or went out once and weren’t feeling eachother for whatever reason. I do, however, consider them a no-go once we have been seeing eachother for a while or if we’ve slept together ever. I, also, do not appreciate being second choice.

By: Stuff Ghetto People Like

Stuff Ghetto People Like — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 14:02:22 +0000

Terminator kamakula, EXCELLENT!

*cue next stage screen*

Someone’s old school enough to remember the Terminator 2 arcade game.

By: NWtoSE- DC public health girl

NWtoSE- DC public health girl — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 07:18:16 +0000

@Stuff Ghetto People Like, Sir, I am not trying to win points with you. . TRUST me- but seriously I would just like to give you a nice side hug- since I don’t know you like that. . . I think women don’t give men enough credit for trying or putting themselves out there. I really like NICE GUYS. No really I DO! I nice young man I have been tryin’ to date (ha ha) said to me the other day “do you want me to fail?” It really took me back a few notches and made me check myself. Here he is a brother- working hard and trying to do the right thing and I have to “come at him” a certain way as he says. . . so I think you are right on many of your calls. . . women need to make the men that are just trying to approach women feel better about the whole situation.

By: Stuff Ghetto People Like

Stuff Ghetto People Like — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 04:53:32 +0000

@ #1. I say it should be about five minutes of convo. But I also think a man shouldn’t be dumb enough to buy a woman that isn’t his date a drink, so there you go. Guys, definitely don’t buy a taken chick anything, that’s her dude’s and her girls’ job.

@ #3. How about these disinterested women jut stay at home and click to NBC to watch Conan/SNL?

@ #4. Yeah, guys, please stop effing it up for other dudes. Just find a dip who’s with it, or find another night spot.

@ #5. I tend to go alone…not really a “up under my crew” kinda cat. Beyond that, I clean up nicely enough….

@ #6. Keeping it simple and not corny or super-street/thugged out goes a long way. Get in and get out.

@ #7. These broads should come with their man, stay up under their girls, or refer to #3. Don’t ya dare look available, because guys are tryna get chose.

@ #11. It would also help ladies a lot if they not get all deep into their damn cell phone.

@ #12. Effing with that big pack of broads is a damn shell game with just one turn. Pick the disinterested/taken one, you’re kcufin’ DONE, son! Already enough intimidation with the lunch bunch sizing you up.

@ #13. See #1, unless you’re ballin’ outta control, feel lucky, and just don’t give a damn.

Only new tip I’d offer is that it’s perfectly peace to be a ghetto ninja and drink before you get in. But as George Michael would say, if you’re gonna do it, do it right! Keep the Eclipse cocked and ready…

By: Stuff Ghetto People Like

Stuff Ghetto People Like — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 04:31:25 +0000

@Naturally Alise,
Why does “nah, I’m good” not count as an option?

UPDATE: n/m, just read the Haitian story.

Maybe “got a boyfriend” is an alternative in those situations…

By: NWtoSE- DC public health girl

NWtoSE- DC public health girl — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 22:02:31 +0000

@blackberry molasses, I was never in it- I am from Utah ha ha ha!. . . hence why it is so amusing. I love to just scan the scene- the guys that circle the club, the guys on the outside, the women on the inside, women on women, my dancing, what actually is the purpose these days? Just a piece of A#$, or a date, or what? I go to dance- but the whole scene. . . and don’t even get me started on the public health risks- shoot.

By: nay_atl

nay_atl — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:32:05 +0000

@Liz,

haha, thanks!

By: NWtoSE

NWtoSE — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 19:21:34 +0000

@Stank-0, HA HA HA HA HA HA- let me just say- the debt I have incurred is unacceptable and the grad school I have basically just finished at has left me jobless, skill-less and HEAVY in debt I will give you 2 guesses. . . I pick up every penny and every fare card I find on the ground! So I when I do go “out” [to the club] which is about once every 3 months- I will dance with about anyone to get a free drink- double standard- SURE! Furthermore, I NEVER pay a cover- and when I went out this last weekend I asked for the “recession special” and it WORKED! I do actually have a great time, so you have fun, I have fun. . . but DC guys. . . all I know is I would love to see all of these men that I see at the club in the community! What can I say I am in public health running job corps for the youngin’s out of my studio. SO ANY BLACK MALES lookin to be a mentor CONTACT ME! I DARE YOU! You don’t even have to spend THAT much time- just cut your club time down by ONE hour a week!

By: Liz

Liz — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 19:09:00 +0000

@nay_atl, yay for delurking!!!