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making love in the club: 13 tips on how to act when you’re out

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in the past couple months, the champ has gone out a couple times to  examine common clubbing behaviors and innocently grind on tipsy grad school asses. what he found surprised, shocked, aroused, and amazed him,  especially the vast number of faux pas he witnessed every night

with this in mind, the champ has decided to provide you all with 13 tips on how to act when you’re out.

he’s not saying that you have to follow these to a t, but it would be wise to listen if you want to get into heaven.

1. yes, ladies. regardless of how aggressively uncute or swaggerless the guy might be, if he offers to buy a drink and you accept, you do owe him at least 90 seconds of conversation…unless, of course, he begins the convo by saying “this martini is dry, isn’t it? you know what i bet is the exact opposite? your pu**y”.

2. fellas, remember, female bartenders are like strippers. she’s nice to you because she wants a bigger tip…just not the tip you have in mind

3. if a woman is dancing while any of the following music is playing…

any dancehall reggae or soca

any bass music

any rap produced by any of the following people: lil john, mannie fresh, luke, swiss beats, scott storch, dr. dre, or just blaze

any song that could very easily be found on one of your college boning mixtapes

…the its perfectly ok to assume that she wants you to step behind her, and start grinding like you’re the pepper boy and her name is mashed potatoes to dance

ladies, if any of these songs come on and you just want to dance with your girls, sit your prissy asses at the bar and grind on the stools

4. fellas, if you ask a woman to dance/for a number/to buy her a drink and she declines, dont ask again, don’t ask why, and definitely don’t just stand behind her and wait for the song change to hopefully change her mind. find someone else, you f*cking lame.

5. fair or not, you will be judged on your attire, your demeanor, the mean, median, and mode attractiveness of your crew, how attractive you are in comparison to everyone else there, your drink of choice, and your walk…and each detail factors into your own personal baggability

if you can’t reconcile yourself with these facts then stay the f*ck home.

6. “hi” and its myriad forms (“hey”, “whats up?”, “hello”, etc) is still the most reliable pick-up line, and her first response to the initial “hi” is still the most reliable way of gauging sincere interest

7. ladies, if you’re in a relationship, make sure to reveal that little tidbit in the first 3.5 to 7 seconds of conversation. waiting longer than ten seconds to drop the bf bomb officially makes you an asshole.

8. everyone gets one “i’ve had waaaaaaaaaay too much to drink, and, if my crew doesn’t step in i’m probably going to end the night either in jail or with an std” mulligan per every 9 months. just one. after this, your crew doesn’t have any more babysitting obligations

9. unless a titty pops out, fighting isn’t sexy under any circumstances

10. fellas, its probably not a good idea to be noticeably hard before you even dance with the chick.

getting noticeably hard during your personal grind session? well, like sexual harassment, their reaction will basically depend on how attractive you are

11. ladies, if you want to get approached, separate and smile and they’ll eventually come unless you look like prop joe. its really that easy.

12. fellas, if you’re old enough to get into the club, you’re old enough to know by now that women are nucking futs lemmings. since you possess this knowledge, you should also be aware of the fact that if one member of a crew shoots you down, it decreases your chances of bagging someone else from that crew by 90%.

13. if approaching a group (three or more) of women to offer drinks, you must either only buy a drink for the one you’re specifically interested in, or the entire crew. no inbetweens

this…

bartender, get these three right here whatever they want, and the other one, ummm, hmmmm. do you have any free corn chips or anything for her?

…isn’t cool. funny, but uncool.

i know i’m missing a ton. good people of vsb.com, would you mind helping a smart brotha out? what else should be on the list?

—the champ

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't.

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

    “3. it is perfectly okay to just go behind a woman and start grinding if any of the following music is playing:

    any dancehall reggae or soca”

    NO. NO. NO. As a person who goes to listen to lots of live and spun reggae and soca, I do NOT approve this message.

    Dancing on my booty when not invited to do so will get a ninja stabbed.

    “ladies, if you want to get approached, separate and smile and they’ll eventually come unless you look like prop joe. its really that easy.”

    So true. If you add in the ‘stare, look away, stare and mutter a barely audible ‘damn” technique…you WILL pull him. This method is fail proof.

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @iloVEGrits,

      “Dancing on my booty when not invited to do so will get a ninja stabbed.”

      Now THAT sounds like a T-shirt!

      • http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        @RedBeanzNRice, Sounds like a mantra too…

      • http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        @RedBeanzNRice, Sounds like a mantra too…

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @iloVEGrits,

      “Dancing on my booty when not invited to do so will get a ninja stabbed.”

      Now THAT sounds like a T-shirt!

    • shay_d_lady

      @iloVEGrits, “3. it is perfectly okay to just go behind a woman and start grinding if any of the following music is playing:

      any dancehall reggae or soca”

      exactly…I dont give a dayum what music is on..

      • i’m overit, BOO

        @shay_d_lady, ok! its like that one time you were @ a club in memphis, and Usher’s “Yeah” came on, and that rhino looking dude with the mike tyson tattoo came up behind you singing the whisper song….right?? lol. tell me a story!

        • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

          @i’m overit, BOO,

          Lmao. Sat down.

        • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

          @i’m overit, BOO,

          Lmao. Sat down.

        • Gem in the Bean

          @i’m overit, BOO,

          lmao @ your moniker. love it, sweetheart!!

        • Gem in the Bean

          @i’m overit, BOO,

          lmao @ your moniker. love it, sweetheart!!

      • i’m overit, BOO

        @shay_d_lady, ok! its like that one time you were @ a club in memphis, and Usher’s “Yeah” came on, and that rhino looking dude with the mike tyson tattoo came up behind you singing the whisper song….right?? lol. tell me a story!

    • shay_d_lady

      @iloVEGrits, “3. it is perfectly okay to just go behind a woman and start grinding if any of the following music is playing:

      any dancehall reggae or soca”

      exactly…I dont give a dayum what music is on..

    • JamaicanGirl

      @iloVEGrits, “3. it is perfectly okay to just go behind a woman and start grinding if any of the following music is playing:

      any dancehall reggae or soca”

      The hell it is…..Unless you ask me to dance and or your standing behind me when my fave dancehall song is playing and i start to back it up on you, it is not okay.

      • http://www.babsinblogland.com Babs

        @JamaicanGirl,

        I agree completely! Uninvited “D” on my backside is disgusting!

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Babs, Uninvited “D” on my backside always throws my rhythm off. lol.

          • V Renee

            @Nicki Sunshine,

            Me too!

          • V Renee

            @Nicki Sunshine,

            Me too!

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Babs, Uninvited “D” on my backside always throws my rhythm off. lol.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Babs,

          “Uninvited “D” on my backside is disgusting!”

          as opposed to uninvited d somewhere else?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Babs,

          “Uninvited “D” on my backside is disgusting!”

          as opposed to uninvited d somewhere else?

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @Babs,

          And it offends my sense & sensibilities

          • 8th Wonder

            Now you know you ain’t got none of EITHER of those things anyway.

          • 8th Wonder

            Now you know you ain’t got none of EITHER of those things anyway.

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @Babs,

          And it offends my sense & sensibilities

      • http://www.babsinblogland.com Babs

        @JamaicanGirl,

        I agree completely! Uninvited “D” on my backside is disgusting!

    • JamaicanGirl

      @iloVEGrits, “3. it is perfectly okay to just go behind a woman and start grinding if any of the following music is playing:

      any dancehall reggae or soca”

      The hell it is…..Unless you ask me to dance and or your standing behind me when my fave dancehall song is playing and i start to back it up on you, it is not okay.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @iloVEGrits,

      “Dancing on my booty when not invited to do so will get a ninja stabbed.”

      lol at the image of a 3 foot tall guy literally dancing on top of a giant booty and ducking slash attempts. i think i need some toast

      • Peysonic Temple #69

        @The Champ, I pictured the same thing. Just with an actual ninja doin karate and sh!t

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @Peysonic Temple #69,

          LMBAO hell yeah bobbin and weaving and grindin all while duckin various stabb attempts

        • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

          @Peysonic Temple #69,

          LMBAO hell yeah bobbin and weaving and grindin all while duckin various stabb attempts

      • Peysonic Temple #69

        @The Champ, I pictured the same thing. Just with an actual ninja doin karate and sh!t

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @iloVEGrits,

      “Dancing on my booty when not invited to do so will get a ninja stabbed.”

      lol at the image of a 3 foot tall guy literally dancing on top of a giant booty and ducking slash attempts. i think i need some toast

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @iloVEGrits, Dancing on my booty when not invited to do so will get a ninja stabbed.

      um…did you mean for this to be a pun??

      cuz, stabbage is kinda the point.

      • Suga

        @Panama Jackson,

        HE wants to get “stabbed”….I confused.

      • Suga

        @Panama Jackson,

        HE wants to get “stabbed”….I confused.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @iloVEGrits, Dancing on my booty when not invited to do so will get a ninja stabbed.

      um…did you mean for this to be a pun??

      cuz, stabbage is kinda the point.

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

    “3. it is perfectly okay to just go behind a woman and start grinding if any of the following music is playing:

    any dancehall reggae or soca”

    NO. NO. NO. As a person who goes to listen to lots of live and spun reggae and soca, I do NOT approve this message.

    Dancing on my booty when not invited to do so will get a ninja stabbed.

    “ladies, if you want to get approached, separate and smile and they’ll eventually come unless you look like prop joe. its really that easy.”

    So true. If you add in the ‘stare, look away, stare and mutter a barely audible ‘damn” technique…you WILL pull him. This method is fail proof.

  • RedBeanzNRice

    Champ yer gettin’ sloppy. It’s Swizz Beatz, not Swiss Beats, Cupcake. That’s 2 nights in a row that somebody “corrected” you.

    Yeah, I know…sloppy deez.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      swizz deez

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @The Champ,

        HA! Coming w/ the unexpected DEEZ. Kudos

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Luvvie,

          “Coming w/ the unexpected DEEZ”

          this was my personal tag line from 1999 to 2003

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Luvvie,

          “Coming w/ the unexpected DEEZ”

          this was my personal tag line from 1999 to 2003

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @The Champ,

        HA! Coming w/ the unexpected DEEZ. Kudos

      • RedBeanzNRice

        @The Champ,

        Ahahaha – ya got me. Didn’t even see that one coming! :)

      • RedBeanzNRice

        @The Champ,

        Ahahaha – ya got me. Didn’t even see that one coming! :)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      swizz deez

  • RedBeanzNRice

    Champ yer gettin’ sloppy. It’s Swizz Beatz, not Swiss Beats, Cupcake. That’s 2 nights in a row that somebody “corrected” you.

    Yeah, I know…sloppy deez.

  • http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    Do not try to talk TOO much in the club. Ya know it is is loud being they generally play music in these clubs and sh*t which makes for a lot of HUH’s and WHAAAAA?’s …. keep it short exchange the numbers and keep it moving…

    • http://www.twitter.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      @Naturally Alise,

      oooh yes and after exchanging numbers or buying me a drink, dont lurk or linger. It makes you look stalkeresque. that is the quick way to not get your call answered

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

        @Intellectual Hedonist,

        Men need to learn that more is less.
        So many who had a shot inevitably do something to mess it up and then they get tagged as “Danger” in the celly.

        Exchange numbers, walk off, maybe glance my way and smile a few times.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @iloVEGrits,

          maybe glance my way and smile a few times.

          lol, this sounds creepy as hell

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @iloVEGrits,

          maybe glance my way and smile a few times.

          lol, this sounds creepy as hell

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

        @Intellectual Hedonist,

        Men need to learn that more is less.
        So many who had a shot inevitably do something to mess it up and then they get tagged as “Danger” in the celly.

        Exchange numbers, walk off, maybe glance my way and smile a few times.

    • http://www.twitter.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      @Naturally Alise,

      oooh yes and after exchanging numbers or buying me a drink, dont lurk or linger. It makes you look stalkeresque. that is the quick way to not get your call answered

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @Naturally Alise, And don’t walk around on your phone in the CLUB. Don’t call me. lol. Send me a text to see if I’m in there.

      • Me fail english?

        @Nicki Sunshine,

        LMAO! I got caught giving out a wrong number like two fridays ago. He was one of those “never say die” types that didn’t even care that I had a man. He wanted a number so I gave him one. He called it. It called him back…while I was standing by him with my hands NOWHERE NEAR my phone. Then e asked “what’s wrong with this picture?” I hesitated, and then said “YOU!” and walked away. I left the club ten minutes after that.

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Me fail english?, U have KILT ME at 9:59 am. DOA

          That is the funniest recount EVER.

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Me fail english?, U have KILT ME at 9:59 am. DOA

          That is the funniest recount EVER.

        • V Renee

          @Me fail english?,

          OMGoodness. That’s hilariuos.

          “Now you’ve officially been chopped and screwed”

        • V Renee

          @Me fail english?,

          OMGoodness. That’s hilariuos.

          “Now you’ve officially been chopped and screwed”

        • Peysonic Temple #69

          @Me fail english?,

          I nominated you for the shay_d_lady ridiculous story award

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @Peysonic Temple #69,

            “shay_d_lady ridiculous story award”

            YES and YES. Glad to hear its being named after her.

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @Peysonic Temple #69,

            “shay_d_lady ridiculous story award”

            YES and YES. Glad to hear its being named after her.

        • Peysonic Temple #69

          @Me fail english?,

          I nominated you for the shay_d_lady ridiculous story award

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

          @Me fail english?,

          Damn. Thats harsh!

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

          @Me fail english?,

          Damn. Thats harsh!

        • http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

          @Me fail english?,

          Every time I have given the wrong number it has never turned out good. The person will either call the phone right then or I swear I’ll run into the same bamma at the grocery store or some sh*t the following week…. So now I just ask for their number or have even been known to say that I have no phone (even if the phone is in my hand, lol)…

          • Me fail english?

            @Naturally Alise,

            LMAO. I dont know why I won’t learn cuz it very RARELY ends well. One time some Wendy’s worker ran out in the middle of cleaning McNuggets (or whatever it is they do at nite) and asked for my #. After refusing to take no for an answer, I told him he could have the number if he gave me and my friend food. I gave him a number and took the food. This fool had the nerve to call it as I walked away! He chased me down the street and snatched the food! It’s all my girlfriends fault. If she woulda wore some boots that fit we coulda booked on his ass!

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              @Me fail english?,

              After refusing to take no for an answer, I told him he could have the number if he gave me and my friend food. I gave him a number and took the food. This fool had the nerve to call it as I walked away! He chased me down the street and snatched the food!

              sounds like an episode of “when keeping it real goes wrong”

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              @Me fail english?,

              After refusing to take no for an answer, I told him he could have the number if he gave me and my friend food. I gave him a number and took the food. This fool had the nerve to call it as I walked away! He chased me down the street and snatched the food!

              sounds like an episode of “when keeping it real goes wrong”

            • Me fail english?

              @The Champ,

              I’m lucky to have made it out alive. The Hatians are an aggressive, war-like people. You should see them on Labor Day!

              J/K (maybe…)

            • Me fail english?

              @The Champ,

              I’m lucky to have made it out alive. The Hatians are an aggressive, war-like people. You should see them on Labor Day!

              J/K (maybe…)

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              @Me fail english?

              “Hatians are an aggressive, war-like people” one of my closest sorority sis is HAITIAN, she is all of 5 foot 1 and 100 lbs soaking wet and she definitely fits this description. We call her the WHOREMASTER… she will whore you out in a minute, get you to do things against your constitution and ish… SMH!!!!
              LMMFAO

            • Intellectual Hedonist

              @Me fail english?

              “Hatians are an aggressive, war-like people” one of my closest sorority sis is HAITIAN, she is all of 5 foot 1 and 100 lbs soaking wet and she definitely fits this description. We call her the WHOREMASTER… she will whore you out in a minute, get you to do things against your constitution and ish… SMH!!!!
              LMMFAO

          • Me fail english?

            @Naturally Alise,

            LMAO. I dont know why I won’t learn cuz it very RARELY ends well. One time some Wendy’s worker ran out in the middle of cleaning McNuggets (or whatever it is they do at nite) and asked for my #. After refusing to take no for an answer, I told him he could have the number if he gave me and my friend food. I gave him a number and took the food. This fool had the nerve to call it as I walked away! He chased me down the street and snatched the food! It’s all my girlfriends fault. If she woulda wore some boots that fit we coulda booked on his ass!

          • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

            @Naturally Alise,
            Why does “nah, I’m good” not count as an option?

            UPDATE: n/m, just read the Haitian story.

            Maybe “got a boyfriend” is an alternative in those situations…

          • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

            @Naturally Alise,
            Why does “nah, I’m good” not count as an option?

            UPDATE: n/m, just read the Haitian story.

            Maybe “got a boyfriend” is an alternative in those situations…

        • http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

          @Me fail english?,

          Every time I have given the wrong number it has never turned out good. The person will either call the phone right then or I swear I’ll run into the same bamma at the grocery store or some sh*t the following week…. So now I just ask for their number or have even been known to say that I have no phone (even if the phone is in my hand, lol)…

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

          @Me fail english?,

          Any chick that is STILL giving out wrong numbers need to really (wo)man up. There’s no call for that in 2009.

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

          @Me fail english?,

          Any chick that is STILL giving out wrong numbers need to really (wo)man up. There’s no call for that in 2009.

      • Me fail english?

        @Nicki Sunshine,

        LMAO! I got caught giving out a wrong number like two fridays ago. He was one of those “never say die” types that didn’t even care that I had a man. He wanted a number so I gave him one. He called it. It called him back…while I was standing by him with my hands NOWHERE NEAR my phone. Then e asked “what’s wrong with this picture?” I hesitated, and then said “YOU!” and walked away. I left the club ten minutes after that.

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @Naturally Alise, And don’t walk around on your phone in the CLUB. Don’t call me. lol. Send me a text to see if I’m in there.

  • http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    Do not try to talk TOO much in the club. Ya know it is is loud being they generally play music in these clubs and sh*t which makes for a lot of HUH’s and WHAAAAA?’s …. keep it short exchange the numbers and keep it moving…

  • http://www.twitter.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

    Im BACK!!!!! yes indeed Im back wooho at least for the next two months, im on parole and ish…

    #7
    men need to do that ish too.. don’t let me waste my eye lash batting and hair twirling on you and you got a girl, tell me up front so I can flirt with your friend

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      I am so agreeing with you!

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      I am so agreeing with you!

    • i’m overit, BOO

      @Intellectual Hedonist, cotdamnit welcome!

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @i’m overit, BOO, gracias

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @i’m overit, BOO, gracias

    • i’m overit, BOO

      @Intellectual Hedonist, cotdamnit welcome!

    • Miss Patterson

      @Intellectual Hedonist, yay! my etwin is back! we got some catching up to do. ok, now what is this recycled post about? and if you say ‘recycle deez’, i will give you a roundhouse kick in your ‘deez’ at the vsb bbq.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Miss Patterson,

        “ok, now what is this recycled post about?”

        ummm, the correct term is “enhanced”

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Miss Patterson,

        “ok, now what is this recycled post about?”

        ummm, the correct term is “enhanced”

    • Miss Patterson

      @Intellectual Hedonist, yay! my etwin is back! we got some catching up to do. ok, now what is this recycled post about? and if you say ‘recycle deez’, i will give you a roundhouse kick in your ‘deez’ at the vsb bbq.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      Welcome back, IH!!!

      • http://www.twitter.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        @Luvvie, thx Luvvie

      • http://www.twitter.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        @Luvvie, thx Luvvie

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      Welcome back, IH!!!

    • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      wecome back n sh*t

      • http://www.twitter.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        @WuDaMan, Wu Wu!!!!

      • http://www.twitter.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        @WuDaMan, Wu Wu!!!!

    • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      wecome back n sh*t

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      Im BACK!!!!!

      you left?

      • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

        @The Champ,

        LOL

      • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

        @The Champ,

        LOL

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @The Champ, wait till I come to the burgh you will feel my wrath, and your little white fur kitchen rug will too… LOL

        IDK what that was all about

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @The Champ, wait till I come to the burgh you will feel my wrath, and your little white fur kitchen rug will too… LOL

        IDK what that was all about

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      Im BACK!!!!!

      you left?

    • Ms. T

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      I agree!

    • Ms. T

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      I agree!

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      Well it’s about time! Welcome back, ma!

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @RedBeanzNRice, thank you , thank you very much

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @RedBeanzNRice, thank you , thank you very much

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      Well it’s about time! Welcome back, ma!

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      you’re back!!!

      YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @blackberry molasses, thank you BBMO

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @blackberry molasses, thank you BBMO

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      you’re back!!!

      YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

  • http://www.twitter.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

    Im BACK!!!!! yes indeed Im back wooho at least for the next two months, im on parole and ish…

    #7
    men need to do that ish too.. don’t let me waste my eye lash batting and hair twirling on you and you got a girl, tell me up front so I can flirt with your friend

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

    Inevitably, when I am out with my best friend a guy will hit on either me or her. When one shoots him down, he will hit on the other.

    Men…do NOT do this. If the 2nd choice was interested, you have no chance after she sees you hit on her girl. Plus we talk about you after you walk away.

    Also, a group of guys surrounding two or three girls like vultures is never segzy. We understand you need wing men but play it cool.

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @iloVEGrits,

      I understand this in theory, but what if one has a man, isn’t she the one who should do the courtesy of identifying herself for all intended purposes?

      I hate when it’s two or more BAD arse women, and I make the wrong guess. That’s like a twisted version of price is right.

      Bond.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @BlkBond,

        I hate when it’s two or more BAD arse women, and I make the wrong guess. That’s like a twisted version of price is right.

        i think you have an idea here. seriously, who wouldnt watch a show where a camera follows a guy around in the club, and he has to correctly pick who’s single and interested??? there could even be a bank like on “deal or no deal”

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @The Champ, i think you’re on to something.

          • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

            @Panama Jackson,
            single people shouldn’t be in the club anyways they unless they have glow in the dark headband or sumthin. for real stay home and bone dont come out and see if you still got it

            • Me fail english?

              @BLUNTBLAZER,

              lol@ headbands. Like we’re in some sorta tacky cult. Everybody’s lyin bout smthg in the club. WHy not us? :)

            • Me fail english?

              @BLUNTBLAZER,

              lol@ headbands. Like we’re in some sorta tacky cult. Everybody’s lyin bout smthg in the club. WHy not us? :)

          • http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic BLUNTBLAZER

            @Panama Jackson,
            single people shouldn’t be in the club anyways they unless they have glow in the dark headband or sumthin. for real stay home and bone dont come out and see if you still got it

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @The Champ, i think you’re on to something.

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @The Champ,

          VH1 is coming out w/ the brown & coontastic version. “Who’s a Baby Mama?” Fall 2009.

          I’m sooo (un)sincere

          • SouthernGirl

            @Luvvie,

            i don’t have the strength to discuss this f^ckery. or the fact that gabby union in producing it.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

              @SouthernGirl,
              Wait, this is for real? I thought this was a joke!

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

              @SouthernGirl,
              Wait, this is for real? I thought this was a joke!

            • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

              @SouthernGirl,

              ‘scuse me? who is green-lighting this shyt?

            • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

              @SouthernGirl,

              ‘scuse me? who is green-lighting this shyt?

            • SouthernGirl

              hmph….i really hope it is but so far that’s the word on the curb and ain’t nobody hopped up to say it was false and you know gabby be quick to say somebody lying on her.

              as for who’s greenlighting this sh!t i’ve been asking that particular question about VH1 for years now. remember they used to not even play rap videos? now that hoes in every area code and musical genre.

            • SouthernGirl

              hmph….i really hope it is but so far that’s the word on the curb and ain’t nobody hopped up to say it was false and you know gabby be quick to say somebody lying on her.

              as for who’s greenlighting this sh!t i’ve been asking that particular question about VH1 for years now. remember they used to not even play rap videos? now that hoes in every area code and musical genre.

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @SouthernGirl,

              Gurl I made this up.

              But I did hear that Gabby Union is producing some show on VH1 for the fall.

            • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

              @SouthernGirl,

              Gurl I made this up.

              But I did hear that Gabby Union is producing some show on VH1 for the fall.

          • SouthernGirl

            @Luvvie,

            i don’t have the strength to discuss this f^ckery. or the fact that gabby union in producing it.

          • SouthernGirl

            @Luvvie,

            I know you made the title up but I thought you were making fun of her show. lol. I think hers is based around the exes/baby mamas of athletes or some such nonsense.

          • SouthernGirl

            @Luvvie,

            I know you made the title up but I thought you were making fun of her show. lol. I think hers is based around the exes/baby mamas of athletes or some such nonsense.

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @The Champ,

          VH1 is coming out w/ the brown & coontastic version. “Who’s a Baby Mama?” Fall 2009.

          I’m sooo (un)sincere

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @BlkBond,

        I hate when it’s two or more BAD arse women, and I make the wrong guess. That’s like a twisted version of price is right.

        i think you have an idea here. seriously, who wouldnt watch a show where a camera follows a guy around in the club, and he has to correctly pick who’s single and interested??? there could even be a bank like on “deal or no deal”

      • Me fail english?

        @BlkBond,

        Can’t speak for anyone else, but once a guy shows my girl attn first he’s dead to me. It could have been a 5 second convo for all I care. I’m still second best and that’s just not gonna cut it.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Me fail english?, so you won’t talk to him b/c you feel he thinks you’re not top notch?

          so it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with your own perception of how he views you?

          • Ms. T

            @Panama Jackson, I can’t speak for me fail, but in my opinion, yep!

            • Me fail english?

              @Ms. T,

              Thank ya ma’am. Who cares how fly he is if he only thinks I’m second rate? Plus, won’t he always be wishing my girlfriend was single so he could move to greener pastures??

            • Me fail english?

              @Ms. T,

              Thank ya ma’am. Who cares how fly he is if he only thinks I’m second rate? Plus, won’t he always be wishing my girlfriend was single so he could move to greener pastures??

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              “Who cares how fly he is if he only thinks I’m second rate?”

              maybe your girl was just physically closer to him than you were, and he saw her first and sh*t. getting hollered at second doesn’t necessarily mean “plan b”

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              “Who cares how fly he is if he only thinks I’m second rate?”

              maybe your girl was just physically closer to him than you were, and he saw her first and sh*t. getting hollered at second doesn’t necessarily mean “plan b”

            • Me fail english?

              @The Champ ,

              Haha. That lazy a*hole. He didn’t even think enough of me to walk the extra two feet? I guess he mighta thought we (me and my girl) were evenly matched but this would always bother me that my dude once looked at my girl in that way.

            • Me fail english?

              @The Champ ,

              Haha. That lazy a*hole. He didn’t even think enough of me to walk the extra two feet? I guess he mighta thought we (me and my girl) were evenly matched but this would always bother me that my dude once looked at my girl in that way.

          • Ms. T

            @Panama Jackson, I can’t speak for me fail, but in my opinion, yep!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Me fail english?, so you won’t talk to him b/c you feel he thinks you’re not top notch?

          so it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with your own perception of how he views you?

        • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

          @Me fail english?,

          Word to the wise!! I cannot even fathom the thought… so you liked her best but now you will “make do” with me? Screeech! No can do, sirree.

        • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Sula

          @Me fail english?,

          Word to the wise!! I cannot even fathom the thought… so you liked her best but now you will “make do” with me? Screeech! No can do, sirree.

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com/ Monk

          @Me fail english?,

          Why does this remind me of that movie (escapes my mind right now) in which dude taps girl on the shoulder to get her attention, she turns and seems interested, and then he hits her with “Hey sista, can you tap the white girl over there for me?”

          Hilarious.

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com/ Monk

          @Me fail english?,

          Why does this remind me of that movie (escapes my mind right now) in which dude taps girl on the shoulder to get her attention, she turns and seems interested, and then he hits her with “Hey sista, can you tap the white girl over there for me?”

          Hilarious.

      • Me fail english?

        @BlkBond,

        Can’t speak for anyone else, but once a guy shows my girl attn first he’s dead to me. It could have been a 5 second convo for all I care. I’m still second best and that’s just not gonna cut it.

      • Ms. T

        @BlkBond, And what happens when you make the wrong choice on the show??? You lose!

      • Ms. T

        @BlkBond, And what happens when you make the wrong choice on the show??? You lose!

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @iloVEGrits,

      I understand this in theory, but what if one has a man, isn’t she the one who should do the courtesy of identifying herself for all intended purposes?

      I hate when it’s two or more BAD arse women, and I make the wrong guess. That’s like a twisted version of price is right.

      Bond.

    • The_Eighth_Hokage

      @iloVEGrits, now i may be an exception but i did make a move on my 1st choice then after realizing her friend was a better choice a song later switched…… long story short me and girl #2 hit it off

    • The_Eighth_Hokage

      @iloVEGrits, now i may be an exception but i did make a move on my 1st choice then after realizing her friend was a better choice a song later switched…… long story short me and girl #2 hit it off

    • Ms. T

      @iloVEGrits,

      I know right, like you are just willing to accept him treating you as seconds… Tell dude to GTFOH

      • Dorian G.

        @Ms. T,

        I really wish women would get over themselves in this regard. Most of the time the choosing is a logical thing that maximizes the man’s success, and usually has very little to do with whether we view you as first or second rate.

        • Ms. T

          @Dorian G., Ok,
          I understand your point but I think if a man find my friend and I both attractive why not strike up a conversation with both of us, and then try to talk to the one who you think is feeling you? Then you may make the correct choice.

          The G code (at least in my lil crew) is you can not talk to anyone who is interested in your friend, you can not talk to someone your friend is interested in, and you can not talk to someone your friend used to date.

          • Me fail english?

            @Ms. T,

            Yes! You spittin da troofs today! There are plenty of fish in the sea fellas. If you pick one that doesn’t like you her crew is dead. Move on to the next group!

            Sidenote: There are some girls that’ll still get with you after you went for her friend first. They are called sluts.

          • Me fail english?

            @Ms. T,

            Yes! You spittin da troofs today! There are plenty of fish in the sea fellas. If you pick one that doesn’t like you her crew is dead. Move on to the next group!

            Sidenote: There are some girls that’ll still get with you after you went for her friend first. They are called sluts.

          • Dorian G.

            @Ms. T,

            So let me get this straight. You think that every man you have ever dated/loved/and loved you back, didn’t think any of your girlfriends were sexy? Is that really the belief code y’all rolling with?

            • Ms. T

              @Dorian G.,
              No, I didn’t say that. My comment was for the meeting process.

              Heck someone who I date may meet my friend,after we start dating, and think she is hotter than I am,but at that point he and she should know that they are offlimits to each other.

            • Ms. T

              @Dorian G.,
              No, I didn’t say that. My comment was for the meeting process.

              Heck someone who I date may meet my friend,after we start dating, and think she is hotter than I am,but at that point he and she should know that they are offlimits to each other.

          • Dorian G.

            @Ms. T,

            So let me get this straight. You think that every man you have ever dated/loved/and loved you back, didn’t think any of your girlfriends were sexy? Is that really the belief code y’all rolling with?

        • Ms. T

          @Dorian G., Ok,
          I understand your point but I think if a man find my friend and I both attractive why not strike up a conversation with both of us, and then try to talk to the one who you think is feeling you? Then you may make the correct choice.

          The G code (at least in my lil crew) is you can not talk to anyone who is interested in your friend, you can not talk to someone your friend is interested in, and you can not talk to someone your friend used to date.

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com/ Monk

          @Dorian G.,

          ” the choosing is a logical thing that maximizes the man’s success, and usually has very little to do with whether we view you as first or second rate.”

          Very True.

          • SaneN85

            Maybe I’m different, but I do not consider my friends off limits once I decide I’m not interested in a person. I’d feel silly telling my girl she can’t talk to someone because we flirted for five minutes or went out once and weren’t feeling eachother for whatever reason. I do, however, consider them a no-go once we have been seeing eachother for a while or if we’ve slept together ever. I, also, do not appreciate being second choice.

          • SaneN85

            Maybe I’m different, but I do not consider my friends off limits once I decide I’m not interested in a person. I’d feel silly telling my girl she can’t talk to someone because we flirted for five minutes or went out once and weren’t feeling eachother for whatever reason. I do, however, consider them a no-go once we have been seeing eachother for a while or if we’ve slept together ever. I, also, do not appreciate being second choice.

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com/ Monk

          @Dorian G.,

          ” the choosing is a logical thing that maximizes the man’s success, and usually has very little to do with whether we view you as first or second rate.”

          Very True.

      • Dorian G.

        @Ms. T,

        I really wish women would get over themselves in this regard. Most of the time the choosing is a logical thing that maximizes the man’s success, and usually has very little to do with whether we view you as first or second rate.

    • Ms. T

      @iloVEGrits,

      I know right, like you are just willing to accept him treating you as seconds… Tell dude to GTFOH

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ iloVEGrits

    Inevitably, when I am out with my best friend a guy will hit on either me or her. When one shoots him down, he will hit on the other.

    Men…do NOT do this. If the 2nd choice was interested, you have no chance after she sees you hit on her girl. Plus we talk about you after you walk away.

    Also, a group of guys surrounding two or three girls like vultures is never segzy. We understand you need wing men but play it cool.

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