My guess is that he's wearing sexy women's underwear.
I was having an IM convo with a certain VSB commenter when she displayed for me a certain statistic. Peep game, shawty.
“…some study about women wearing sexy underwear versus ugly/ill fitted underwear
27% said wearing the latter affects their mood while 47% said wearing the sexy kind makes them happier throughout the day…”
Well, after that, I did what any red-blooded American male would do; I hit up most of the women I know and asked them if their day was affected by the types of drawz they put on. A large segment of responses started with, “the type of underwear I put on is totally dependent on my mood…”
“Hmmmm,” said Panama Jackson.
Now, the scientist in me deduced that in the future, instead of blaming PMS for many women’s craptastic attitude, I could simply assume that these women were wearing underwear of ill repute. Or UIR for short. I don’t actually intend on using that anywhere else in this post, but I felt it worhty of acronymity. I’m also not sure if acronymity is a word and am too lazy to look it up.
Jerome? Where my mirror at?
Oh and by the way, that scientific deduction up there (See that last line, it’s right above it. Lil Wayne.) wasn’t very scientific so here’s some better science for you. While I cannot deduce that a woman wearing ugly drawz will have a bad day, I can deduce that if a woman I encounter is having a bad or less than stellar day, there is at least a 25 percent chance that she is wearing ugly drawz. Stick a fork in me, Ms. Steuben; I’m done.
Well all of this talk about women’s underwear and moods got me to wondering. And when Panama wonders, Panama tends to speak in third person. Panama wondered if there was a male equivalent to the Underwear Theory. Is there any item of clothing that tends to have an impact on a man’s day? Of course there is. But much like rainbows, chocolate chips, and Pringles…
…there’s more than one! Or something like that…
1. Shoes
The type of shoes a dude wears tells you a lot about them. A dude is rocking some beat up sh*tkickers or some really soft hard bottoms, well he probably is going through some emotional turmoil in his life. Just like men who tie up their Timberland’s (workus bootus varietas). Those guys are not gangsta. But personality aside, there are some shoes I rock when my mood is less than whimsy. I’ll put on the all black everything Tims if I’m in a dark and edgy mood. If I’m in a chillaxational mood, I’m all about the Chuck Taylor’s. And when I’m feeling violent? Well, there’s only shoe for the violent man about town.
Stacy Adams. Chicago? I’m looking at you.
2. Socks
Now I’m a sock guy. None of my socks have pretty print – unless you count argyle as pretty print. And I’m not pretty, so argyle tends to be more medieval and jagged. Edgy even. I wanna be. Well, when I’m in a really fun mood, I’m pulling out the knee-high, two striped color socks, and I get my strut on, George Jefferson style. No Sherm. No boat. Point is, I tend to be in a better mood when I’m rocking my tall socks with the colored stripes. Unlike when I just have on some all white socks. Kind of makes me feel shackled. Like I don’t own myself or something. Or like I’m looking for where I came from. It’s sad really.
3. Color schemes
This one is very broad. No dames. I’m from down south so you know we have some very loud color schemes. Now, I’m not one of those loud people with the colors, but if I’m feeling in a particularly fun mood, I’ll pull out the green sweater or shirt with the fun saying on it. Green means Panama is having a good day. When I’m feeling down, it doesn’t make sense looking like the goodie goodies, dressed in white, I like black Tims and black hoodies.
Let’s open the doors…
4. Donny Hathaway
A lot of people I know only listen to Donny when they’re having a bad day. I find this ironic (though only because I do it, the dude made some fairly depressing music) because I only listen to Donny when I’m in good spirits. On the other side of things, when I’m in a bad mood, it’s all about Kidz Bop and “It’s A Small World After All.” Scar knows what I’m talking about.
5. Boxer Briefs
If I’m wearing boxer briefs, I’m generally going to have a good day and feel great about the prospects for greatness. Of course, If I have forgotten to do laundry, and I’m forced to embark on tighty whitey ness, well, it will not be a good day and I will not be the father. I don’t actually own tighty whiteys, mostly because that sounds racist. Thank you and good night.
So good people of VSB, is there anything you do or wear that affects your day? Or is there anything you do because you’re in a certain mood?
Sharing is caring.
I’m Panama.
By the way, hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that Santa brought you the toys you wanted.
-VSB P aka lower.case.p. aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka HEEEEEEEEEEEY YOU GUUUUUUUUYS! aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
When I have to work hard (many hours in the library) I switch from my bougie shoulder bag and load up the pink and black back pack. I also dig out my college hoodie and put on Chucks. Changes my whole mood.
college hoodie and chucks sounds dope. that’s my standard winter apparel.
I have a pair of olive green chucks that I wear with boot cut jeans and a fitted tee. It totally changes my mood. I even walk differently. lol
When I’m having a bad day, I tend to forgo the contacts and just pop on my old busted glasses for the rest of the day. If I’m in an “EFF IT ALL” kinda mood, I don;t want my hands anywhere near my eyeballs.
LOL
this sounds way nastier than it should for some odd reason.
“I don;t want my hands anywhere near my eyeballs”
Lol!
right! no need to scratch an eyeball because i’m in a pissy mood
*presses the ‘like’ button*
I totally agree with the whole underwear thing. for me its not just about being grumpy or depressed but its the fact that when i have on old, raggedy clothes, shoes, or my hair looks unkempt i feel the need to hide.
like the cute guy that sits next to me in class is looking at me – NO! let me hide out in peace!!!! i can’t flirt with you when i know my bra and panties don’t match today- i mean what if he seduces me and before i know it he’s feasting his eyes on black lace and pink cotton? i can’t let that happen so i’m going to look away and ignore your advances. i can’t give you the flirty eyes and walk past you shaking my booty (bag of bones) with confidence! i’m going to wait until you leave the room before i even think to leave or i show up late so that i can blend in with all of the commotion.
if i’m in class or a business meeting i might have the most brilliant answer or solution but guess who’s not raising her hand *points at myself and nods*? i don’t need any unwanted attention to my hair or my chipped nails or my shrunken jeans (that used to be my favorite until this morning when i got them out of the dryer last minute and ran out the door only to discover a little too late that i was pulling an MJ).
when i’m grumpy i actually try to look decent to try and counteract the mood or i just stay in and listen to grunge or hardcore rap like ‘i’m so sick’ by flyleaf, ‘numb’ by lincoln park or the first part of ‘one mic’ by nas.
i also find that when i’m depressed/ or bored for that matter. urgly, booga wolf dudes have a way of showing up at my door. which is fine because those are the guys that know that they’re fuggs and will work hard to make you come see them again in an hour of desperation. and since they know their chances of getting a decent looking girl again you don’t have to worry about them putting your business on the streets or online… not that i would know or anything.
co-sign…all of it!
I think you may be my sister from another mister
*presses the lmbo button*
There’s something just right about blasting Linkin Park or Metallica when I’m kinda pissed while wearing bummy clothes…i start feeling my inner white boy take over at that point. I’m gonna have to raid your music collection.
I don’t know why the men aren’t admitting it, but damnit if good pair of boxers don’t make a man act more….SANE…yea that’s the right word. Brand new boxers out the bag = a real good damn day
Fellas should take note to Taylormay’s response. She teaching and may not realize it.
I’ve heard guys say that if they have s.e.x with a woman and her underwear aren’t matching, they got over cuz she wasn’t planning on doing anything. [I haven't found that men really pay attention to these things though].
@WIP
Yeah it depends on who the guy is and if its the first time or the only time. my guy friends want to act like they know something and during lunch informed me and the other ladies there that they just KNOW a grown woman’s underwear are supposed to match and you don’t see victoria secret’s girls mismatching…. but if it was just a one time thing and there was no need to impress i know they wouldn’t care. guys don’t really have high standards when it comes to who they’re f’ing
@nocommonsense
lol. Thanks but I dunno if any of the guys that read this fit into that booga wolf category. Intelligence adds at least 3 points to the attraction score.
“like the cute guy that sits next to me in class is looking at me – NO! let me hide out in peace!!!! i can’t flirt with you when i know my bra and panties don’t match today- i mean what if he seduces me and before i know it he’s feasting his eyes on black lace and pink cotton? i can’t let that happen so i’m going to look away and ignore your advances.”
I’m just saying a real man in tune with women could recognize your minor insecurity and play off your unwillingness to make eye contact.
I’m the same way with my reading glasses, if I’m tired or just know I’ll be yawning all day, I’ll throw them on. Then on the other hand if I want to look fancy and sophisticated for a presentation or just to look smart, I throw em on too. Confused??
I’m the same way about my underwear too. Except instead of tight whitees, if I have to put on some regular boxers versus boxer briefs, I feel horrible. I prefer a little control in my day…
Them calvin klein commercials put boxer briefs on the map. They are much s.exier than plain boxers. And are there any men of color that actually wear tighty whitees past the age of 10?
Only weirdos and pediphiles were tighty whities!!
can’t get with the tighties…
@SmartFoxGirl- they’re more comfortable, especially moving around. them boxers be cutting your circulation at the thighs if they’re not oversized and I don’t like looking like I have on a diaper
Yes! When I wear my boyfriend’s boxers I notice the butt part looks like a diaper. I don’t know why they make them like that. And the band around the thigh is way too tight.
LOL@common sense hahaha they do.
I was wondering if it was just me who had difficulty w the boxers. Hate em.
I know this generalization that is brimming with racism, but I think there are a lot of 2520 men still wearing tighty whities.
I’m sure. lol
Glasses – If I wear glasses out, then I’m going through something.
Heels – Same with the sexy underwear, If I’m not in heels, I have more bad days. I like my heels, I like the way that I walk in them and smile more.
Music – If I’m in a good mood, I’m listening to Beyonce or Jill Scott. If I’m going through a hard time, I put on Sade or Maxwell.
Color Scheme/Hair – Black if I’m in a bad mood and hair is pulled back. I’m in a good mood, red is my color and wear my hair curly.
I’m so with you on the hair thing. My hair will be free & flowing as long as I feel the same but when I don’t snatch back it is.
“…Music – If I’m in a good mood, I’m listening to Beyonce or Jill Scott. If I’m going through a hard time, I put on Sade or Maxwell.”
Your choices in music is similar to mine. When I am in a funk, I usually play anything by Al Green or The Isley Brothers. Everybody that I know knows if they hear “Footsteps in the Dark”, I am d amn near homicidal.
The post’s title made me cackle…they had to give her that award…she did what? With Billy Bob? *dry heave*
I think if a person feels like they are dressed well they generally feel good even if something isn’t too comfortable after a while. Yet, there is a time when once you hit the door of your home (ideally) that you come up out of that uncomfortable garment
immediatelyIMMEJIATELY! Shout out to the sistah’s that have a back up plan in a bag or in their car trunk, just in case (i.e. flip flops, a warm sweater, any more comfortable alternative).1. A summer pedicure (winter too, but especially if you can show off your toes) in a fun, bright, edgy and/or tropically fruity color (or even an appropriate design) lifts my spirits. It’s sunshine on your feet! Cute sandals on well-cared for feet are the icing on the cake.
2. I’m a grown woman, but a fresh pair of original,obscure, or unique kicks (I’m talking sneakers in particular) with a cute, sexy top is so comfortable, fun, and perfect for casual chillin’. Fresh sneaks is like rocking your outfit on the first day of school. Plus, it works for heels and boots too!
3. If your
hairhurr is did (natural styles included). You just look well-groomed andtogethertogeva. A man or woman can be dresed in clean sweats, but if their hair is done/fresh line-up it’s lovely. You walk different and folks notice A. because you hurr is LAID (yes, old skool slang) and B. your energy is so much more confident and appealing because YOU feel you are looking GOOD.Cosign on the hair tip. It doesn’t matter what we’re wearing. I can rock a wife beater if my hair is looking fab and right, it’s awlright. <—see what I did ole skool style? lol
cosign on the pretty toes. not to be confused with pretty wings.
A car kit is essential for a woman on the go, LOL. Flats, draws, a jacket, deodorant, etc. I rarely get my nails done these days [they just get in my way, i prefer to rip them off] but I got a set with a pretty design on each finger and for some reason it just made my whole week. I couldn’t stop looking at them.
holy f*ckin’ hell sh*t batman. if you’re a fan of J.Dilla’s Donuts album like I am, saunter on over to Kevin Nottingham’s site and download this crazy jazz trio’s rendition of Donuts done live. THE ENTIRE ALBUM done live. its bananas.
you will love it. you know why? because i do. Donuts is one of my favorite albums like ever. do yourself a favor and enjoy this.
http://kevinnottingham.com/2011/01/03/j-dillas-donuts-as-performed-by-stray-phrases/#more-50164
Thank you, Panama!
I like Donuts too, no Dunkin.
*downloads*
Thank you for the link, good sir. Will be downloading that.
Thank you for mentioning Donny Hathaway. I listen to him when I’m in one of my artsy moods. His music makes me cry because I can hear the emotion in his voice.
Anyways.
* When I’m in a silly mood, I wear knee high socks. Or polka-dot socks.
* When I don’t give a flying fudgepopsicle, I wear two different socks, regardless of style, color, etc.
*When I feel sexy and flirtatious, I will wear heels. And something tight fitting.
* When I feel artsy, or am in a sports-related mood, I’m going to wear a fitted t-shirt and my trainers. Or I’m rocking a tank with a pair of my running shorts. And my trainers.
*When MSU is playing, or I’m thinking about those amazing Spartans, I’m going to wear green. As much of it as I can pull out of clean laundry.
…or something like that.
bras do it for me more than draws. nothing says it’s going to be a great day like the DDs sittin on 22s. straps that aren’t sliding down, boobs that arent hanging any which way… everything in its place and shaped the way they should be.
a fresh pedicure also puts pep in my step. and in a weird way, jeans that just came out the laundry.
Co-signing on brassieres! Nothing is like the “girls” sitting up and comfortably.
Balcony bras and sounds of Queen of the stone age, yep it’s a frigging sexy day.
srsly balcony bras give me the breath of life! but me thinks the girls are too big for em now…le sigh. back pain for days.
“but me thinks the girls are too big for em now…le sigh.”
im actually riding on DDDs and im not thee most narrow. Just means there are more guests on the balcony. whatevs, its still a party on the upper east side!
AMEN on the brassieres!! Black or Red + Lacy = Zesty!!
“nothing says it’s going to be a great day like the DDs sittin on 22s”
AMEN!
when they’re lifted, my spirits are automatically raised too. lol
Word *fist pumps*
yeah on the brasiere tip! I’m a couple of bra sizes past D, so its EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that they look nice and on point. If the bra is an underwire I feel even better.
I will not wear a bra that makes that fat on my back look like an extra sets of Double A cup titties on my backside.
Happy Taytays =Happy Feelings in the Air (Maze feat Frankie Beverly)
Oh no not the back titties. Surely the sign of an ill advised sale purchase or the cosmetic switcheroo. That’s when it’s has a sexy pattern and everything but was poorly made by flat chested foreigners.
@tdixonspeaks @legitimate_soul @tnt_ftw @koko_chanelle @Cris Until I Find a Clever Name
All of you are in gross violation of VSB rules. This will not be tolerated in 2011. For those that don’t know VSB rule# 2946 article 567 states that “VSS are not allowed to comment on or mention their thickness, thighs, hips, arse size, or chest size without visual proof of said body part.”
@Humble One
you STAY being in gross violation PERIOD. Get your Tiny Chat/Google Chat/VSB avi game up before you ask for said visual evidence to be presented. Even CBG came outta the shadows!!
Carry on ladies.
Court is adjourned for the day.
*Does the Jefferson walk outta the courtroom with my purple velour robe on.
I’m siding with humble on this one on the chivalrous grounds of ladies first and the golden rule. Plus, he’s not making any claims that need to be verified. A society cannot survive without transparency and accountability, and VSB is a society. Thus, If one is truly a member of the VSS order, then adhering to these principles should be as natural as breathing. In fact, the very shadow of an inclination of a precognition not doing so should offend your sensibilities.
im so MAD at you for breaking it down so broke that it can never be broken down again.
but still. i aint uploading an avi…too much work. and i ise lazy
@Medium Meech.
The court recognizes your argument on appeal – but you are still denied. Your client has made statements referring to his 1.5ness or something to the effect thereof, without ever providing requested evidence so that the jury may render a verdict.
*bangs gavel..
NEXT case!!
I was wondering where you were, man.
LOL at Judge Keisha Brown.
he threw the book at us yall…damn.
how do i add an avi?
:clueless:
http://www.gravatar.com You can take it from there.
ah i see. i have to link a pic to my s/n and seeing as im perpetually paranoid, and constantly switching up screennames bec you know BIG BROTHER is watching. that prolly won’t work.
just take my word for it mmkay?
You can upload one from a hard drive, too. That’s what I did.
Been dying to figure this out. Thanks for the help! =)
You are welcome. Nice avi.
Trust me…I havent seen my feet (while standing up) since the 5th grade.
I have put a folded underwire bra on my head and it fits like a hat with a wide a$$ed wide chin strap!
I cant wear a bra that has less than three hooks because gravity will not permit the laws to be broken.
Sigh. According to VSB law we now we also need:
1. Visual confirmation of you with a folded underwire bra on your head along with a recent picture of you with a hat with a wide azzed chin strap.
2. Cleav-age weight and average stress tolerances of two and one hook bras.
3. A POV picture of you trying to look at your feet while standing up.
Bwahahahahahaha ^^^
I know that I feel more confident wearing heels, so I’ll will make an extra effort to wear heels or something nice if I’m in a bad mood.
I will wear my Uptowns if I know I’m in a hood area of NYC late at night. These sneakers also come with a bop in my steps cultivated by suffering and surviving in the PJ’s (no Good Times)
I have my iPod on shuffle 99% of the time so I will try to bypass love songs if I’m in romantic turmoil
I wear contacts and 5 different pairs of glasses on rotation so I try to vary my look. I do wear contacts on a first date, then glasses on a second date. I do wait for a compliment either way…the hope is that the guy says “I like both looks” (rare)
“I have my iPod on shuffle 99% of the time so I will try to bypass love songs if I’m in romantic turmoil”
^This! I tend to gravitate toward hip hop head-bangas in romantic turmoil. At some point, I don’t want to dwell in sadness and the bangas pump me up and lift my mood.
HOUSE music has the same effect as REAL Hip Hop when I’m feeling sad. I walk faster; strut with confidence and pity the fool who dare side eye me (Mr T)
With the eclectic choices of music on my iPod literally anything can come up.