If I had money, this rose would have color.
Valentine’s Day is Sunday (in case you forgot). While many of you assumed that my suggestions for the lonely single were tongue-in-cheek, I can assure you that it was filled with the utmost sincerity. Well, it seems slightly unfair to lend a helping hand to one group and not the other; technically that would make me a racist. And I’m so not a racist.
Since the number of strippers is on the rise, we know we’re in an economic recession. That means that nobody has the money to blow $10,000 on romantic getaways to wherever Jay and Beyonce are going. Nope, a lot of us have to stay in our lanes – and I don’t mean the HOV (hey, he has his own lane, already). As my gift to the you, and you (this goes out to you), I decided to come up with a list of Valentine’s Day date options for the economically challenged (or just late as hell on the planning tip).
Follow me.
1) Small-venue concert/show
Clearly I’m not talking U2 or Beyonce, but something a little more intimate and personal (and less expensive), like Viktor Duplaix, Juelz Santana, or perhaps the budget line of Maino featuring Beverly Frankie. Every city with reading Black folks probably has at least one or two neo-soul shows going on. This is a perfect option because neo-soul shows always have slower songs in the set which allow you to pull your date close and hug all up on them and get in some free feels. And if they rebuff those efforts, you can always just fall back into your same ole 2-step towards the bar for a solo shot of Patron while you hit on some other person wearing earthtones and khari shells who thinks Love Jones is a top 2 movie of all time. These people really do exist.
2) Jazz show
Not quite a concert but jazz shows are about as close as you can get to your ID card saying “Cool Motherf*cker”. And they won’t run your pockets like M.O.P. They’re so Brooklyn. For some reason, people assume that jazz apprecionists are cool and deep and cultured. Which totally works in the favor of the person who made the suggestion. It allows for quiet conversations and chances to say, “Yeah, I totally mess with Coltrane” and it not sound like something really nasty that happens with one chick and 12 guys…well you get the picture. Jazz is romance. Jazz is gangsta. Jazz is…life. No wait, that’s soul music. Dammit, vh1, got me all confrused like a former G-Unit rapper from Nashville.
3) Art gallery
While I myself don’t really care for art galleries so much, I can understand why people enjoy them. It gives you a chance to talk and schmooze over likes and dislikes and see things that aren’t really there in pictures that you’d never ever look at if it wasn’t on a wall in front of you. We also like to call those “regrets”. However, there’s a certain intimacy that is shared by looking at a painting and discussing what you each get out of it. That makes for a great date. Besides, if you say the right things, there’s a solid chance some “that was so deep” roomshaking might occur later on. There’s no aphrodisiac like depth to a reading Black chick. Well, that and Idris Elba.
4) Independent film series
As long as it doesn’t involve Will Ferrell, chances are this won’t go over badly. Plus, you can always pull the “for Valentine’s Day, I wanted to pull you into my world because you’re special to me” card. That’s how I got my girlfriend to go see Chicken Little with me. By the way, that never happened. I went to go see Chicken Little by myself.
That DID happen.
5) Winter picnic
As long as you live in a city that doesn’t get much snow like DC Dallas Miami a winter picnic says thoughtful and resourceful at the same time. Plus, for like 20 bucks you can get some pre-made sammiches from Costco or something so the works already done. Even better if you do it at night so you can do the Lady and The Tramp thing and kiss over the last strand of spaghetti, which I suppose contradicts the Costco sammiches but really that’s your problem not mine, Shar Jackson, so figure it out and hushup the f*ckup all that crying over some spilt milk – literally – cuz KFed looks like he spilt it all then slurped it all up.
What was I talking about again?
Ah yes. Some V-day (no hymen) suggestions. What else might you wonderful VSBers suggest as cost-effective and thoroughly enjoyable dateage?
Don’t be shy. Help your brothers and sisters out.
And Happy Valentine’s Day from your friendly neighborhood Panama.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
This post is one part of our 2010 Valentine’s Day Triple Threat Celebration! Check out our other two selections:
Scavenger hunt
(which, if presented to me, may or may not piss me off if chocolate/other edibles weren’t part of the end surprise).
a girl’s gotta eat.
you so needy.
cheapskate. chocolate is a dollar.
Smh at that rose. Reminds me of that yo momma joke that goes:
“Yo momma so po’, the rainbows in her neighborhood are black and white.”
I heart this blog.
and this blog hearts you back. like a crackhead that finds that right hit.
a freaky poem/limerick exchange?
mani/pedi/massage at the massage school?
try making fondue at the house…lol but dont try and get to se.x.x.y with it…
hot cheese can cause 3rd degree burns!
a freaky poetry/limerick exchange…hmm…
i’d say just write down some 2 Live Crew lyrics from teh song “me so horny”, at the end of two of the verses, i’m pretty sure there were some limericks in there.
me love you long time.
Jazz shows cost a grip in NY. $35 seats/2 watered down drinks minimum…
Wynton Marsalis and the gang don’t come cheap…
you trynna see folks with names. i’m talking about hitting up jazz spots of local sensations who dont have ability to charge so much. step your game down, homey.
As far as low cost options I have nothing.
You can always promise the sun, moon and stars in a love letter…but its gotta feel sincere and original. I.E. meaning…you didn’t read the idea off some blog and decided at the laaaaas minute to throw your thoughts together on paper…
I own no.
you didn’t read the idea off some blog and decided at the laaaaas minute to throw your thoughts together on paper…
hey man, inspiration is inspiration. quit hating on love.
not this sh%t again! I can’t wait for next week when ya’ll ninjas start talking about something else!
sucks for you, its post-valentine’s extravaganza week here at VSB. we’re doing interviews with fallen cupids and mall santas trying to transition into a less lucrative career as victoria’s secrets male models.
Not post-valentine’s day extravaganza!! High-larious!
“Even better if you do it at night so you can do the Lady and The Tramp thing and kiss over the last strand of spaghetti”
Thanks so much for not being too full of bravado to show your romantic side, I heart you for this….
i love that movie. btw, that strand of spaghetti stuff totally doesn’t work.
and DO NOT try that with a white tee on.
Co-sign with #1,2, and 3. One of my favorite Valentine’s Days was when my man cooked for me and pampered me the whole night. He made me feel special and it didn’t cost much.
you know why i like you? you appreciate the little things in life. that’s why i like you. stay classy, seattle grace.
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It is FREEZING in MIA right now. If my bf takes me anywhere outside he is getting slapped.
freezing in MIA should be against the law. much like 5 feet of snow in DC of which i spent at least 7 hours of total time shoveling.
i hate snow.
Panama, my family name is Valentine, so thanks for showing a little love, shedding a positive light on this slightly goofy holiday.
Best low-budget gift ever: the mix tape/CD/special iTunes mix! Right?!
*hears the sounds of crickets chirping*
Remember the first time someone who really ‘like- liked’ you gave you a mix tape w.romantic/cool songs on it? That was love-crack to me. I still have my boo’s first CD that he ever made me. It’s the weirdest CD I own, but also the sweetest. All of the lyrics contained a synopsis of his (at the time) unspoken feelings for me.
VSBs and VSSs: go out and have good sexy times with each other this Sunday. Sex keeps you warm=lower heating bills
“Best low-budget gift ever: the mix tape/CD/special iTunes mix!”
Co-sign. I still do this. lol
Who your peoples and where they from (lol)? I’ve got some Valentines on my daddy’s side.
Best low-budget gift ever: the mix tape/CD/special iTunes mix! Right?!
*hears the sounds of crickets chirping*
and everybody’s in luck b/c i upped a mixtape for everybody to share love on Valentine’s day too! yay for V-day budget restraint.
How about (roller) skating? This year V-Day is on Sunday so for most places its “Adult night.”
Good ol’ fashion cooking for ya lady. Wine, dessert, and a made-up recipe.
I love it!! That’s so cute.
that’s a really good idea. lol. roller skating is gangsta.
Excellent idea! I was thinking alternative dating sitch… and this would be good!
I love the roller skating idea…if I wasn’t single and didn’t hate Valentine’s day as much as I do I would totally do that
I agreed with the mix tape idea upthread.
@ Meteorman I love the roller skating idea!! Ice skating would be nice too.
My thoughts would be the expected
-cook dinner together
- stay in and watch classic romance films or current romantic comedies
- if you’re near a drive in movie theatre, go
- a day of pamepering a thome: give her a massage, manicure, pedicure, wash her hair,draw her a bath
those are all good ideas.
real question time…would you feel cheated if that was your man’s suggestion? to stay in and watch movies or would it only be okay if it was a mututal decision.
“Maino featuring Beverly Frankie”
*snickering*
I love the tag “cheap ninja”…lol
Oh yeah and the Bobby Womack is definitely right on the playlist.
Cooking a meal always goes along way, even if you can’t cook. You will always get points for trying.
ummmm no…last time my boo tried to make me breakfast in bed was eerily similar to that breakfast Mister made Suge….he tried but failed. I appreciated the effort but he is NOT allowed back in my kitchen!
” that breakfast Mister made Suge”
*cracking up*
Did it still have the flame on it?
I had a dude make me a frozen pizza with a salad once. I let him make it…it was his idea of “cooking”…lol It was cute.
That was my dawg!!!
Dessert was ice cream sandwiches.
I do believe the pancakes were on fire at some point. They was cajun den a mug!
A little “blackened” seasoning huh?!
LOL!
One of my homeboys messed around almost burnt our steaks on the girl one night. Talking bout “they’re not burnt, they’re blackened”.
Boy stop playing…lol
You tryna kill me?!??!?!?!
Bobby Womack is right on ANY playlist.
in fact, i created a Down South Dirty Ni**a playlist and threw on a random Bobby Womack song between “swamp n*gga” and “sho’ nuff”.
worked like a charm.
I hate you for making me laugh this hard at the cube.
dayum…I haven’t heard “swamp nig” in forever!!!!! “Sho’ nuff” will always be my jam.
ya’ll done OD’ed on this topic O_o LLS!!!!
you know you want more. just say it.
LOL!!!
I think the winter picnic idea is fantastic. My ex cooked dinner for us on SuperBowl Sunday, and he has NEVER, EVER cooked in the years that I have known him. I was so touched and impressed with the simple gesture. Putting the effort in to hooking up even a simple meal and chilling at home means a lot more ( to me) than just making reservations at a restaurant that is going to be packed and have undoubtedly rushed service.
your ex cooked dinner for you THIS past superbowl sunday? how does that even come to pass?
Indoor picnics are where it’s at!! Love ‘em but take it a step further and put a theme to it.
Bring your childhood back and make cards..I’m talking full out glitter, glue and crayons and construction paper…get silly with it. Y’all remember the elementary school Valentines with the crooked letters and backward S’s, lol…that’s what I’m talking about.
yeah, that’s where its at. show that you put some work into it.
An indoor picnic with all your SO’s favorite comfort foods is a great idea. It gives you a chance to make memories, which last way longer than nasty ass candy and grocery store roses.
The key to a successful low budget V-Day is to remember that the less $ you spend, the more romantic it has to be.
The key to a successful low budget V-Day is to remember that the less $ you spend, the more romantic it has to be.
i disagree, the key to a successful low budget v-day is to spend as little money as possible.
You might spend as little money as possible, but that doesn’t mean you’re night will be a success.
You have to put some thought into it if you’re planning an intimate dinner at home. Ramen noodles on a futon, followed by you running out to catch the game real quick may not go over as well as a nice spread of comfort food, candles, and conversation.
Cheap a$$ better include some ambiance…..lol
I am cheering for the jazz show, art gallery, or independent film series!! Right up my alley, even when Valentine’s Day is long gone
Great list.
thank you. i live to be great. unlike kanye, folks let me be great.
Yeah, I gotta co-sign the choir and say cooking is the best bet. It’s intimate and even though you’re at a restaurant…you can still tip the waiter. (Sorry, I had Kels’ song on my mind from listening to it on ovedrive this past weekend).
Happy V-Day, ya’ll.
Oh, P.S. – PJ, I am CRACKING UP at the fact that you went to see “Chicken Little” by yourself.
You had some great ideas Panama. I am new to this blog and I really love it! There was a great ideas from others too, I agree with the dinner at home. Very romantic to me. Knowing your partners likes would make it a lot more fun to come up with ideas. I think that if we can’t ball out and fly to a different city it would be romantic to drive (unless you snowed in) to the next town or city. Being in a new place always excites the senses!
I’m not huge on V-Day. I like to acknowledge it by being together, having a special candlelight dinner at the crib. Little Jilly from Philly. Flowers are nice. But all that going to Jared’s is overkill and I DEFINITELY don’t want to go to a restaurant so that we can wait an hour and a half for a table in a crowded restaurant with a prix fixe menu and be rushed through our meal so the rest of the hoards can be seated. Nah. I’m good.
My best V-Day was in college when my BF gave me little inexpensive gifts throughout the day in cute ways. Flowers, candy, teddy bear. One was delivered by a roommate, found one in my room after class, little things like that. I could tell he put a lot of thought into the delivery and presentation. Still makes me feel special to this day.
Love Coupons!
The Cheapest way to go!
Little slips of paper, promises to do things you know you will never
do like wash the car, watch the kids for the day, do the laundry, make the kids lunches etc…by the end of Feb the coupons and promises are all forgotten….
I gave sex coupons to my SO once…and he cashed in on every single one of them….
#1 is so true. In Houston this weekend Eric Benet & Kem.
#5 great idea, but go to Whole Foods instead of Costco for the sammies. Although I think its cold everywhere this weekend expect Hawaii.
Great suggestions.
Happy V-day everyone!!!!
FORTUNaTe – LOVEd My Serenade VALENTINES Morn…POWERful
Just do something that shows that you care. It’s not about the money or roses or candy. Men just don’t seem to get that these days. Panama, ya’ll, please share this with some brothas you know (and some you don’t). Cause us sistas are tired of horrible ass holidays where we go out of pocket more than you. I mean really… (ok, done being bitter and pissed about one day, cause he do pretty good the other 364 days) lol