Did y’all get Columbus Day off? I did. Yay.
Every morning on my commute into work, I listen to the Kane show on Washington, DC’s 99.5. The personalities are hilarious and the skits have almost caused pileups on many of Washington’s busy by ways and highways.
And high days are better than sober ones.
^Just felt like shouting out Outkast with that line.
Anyway, one segment that they do is called War of the Roses where they allow somebody who thinks they’re being cheated on to call into the show, tell their story and why they think they’re being cheated on, then the host calls the cheater up pretending to be from a flower shop giving away a free bouquet of flowers and they see who the alleged cheater sends the flowers to.
Now, on good ones, the alleged cheater will send the flowers to the very person the alleged cheatee thinks they’re cheating with and then all hell breaks loose. It usually results in MAJOR blowups and somebody always goes down in flames…hard. We’re talking Commander Sully into the Hudson Hard. Well one particular morning a few weeks ago, the Roses segment involved a guy who called in not because he thought his girl was cheating on him, but because he thought his best friend was bangin’ his little sister. He said he’d seen on facebook pictures of the two of them together where his BFF was doing body shots off of his younger sister.
I don’t give a sh*t if they’re getting married, the last thing I’d ever want to see pictures of on Facebook is some random mothertrucker doing body shots off of her. There’s a few reasons in this world to put a few into the sky: 1) to let ninjas know you babysittin’ (name that reference for 10 Kool-Aid points); 2-100) some dude is doing body shots off your sister with pictures to prove it.
I guess its better than…never mind.
Sure as shootin’, dude sent the bouquet of roses to the little sister and all hell broke loose. Dude had been specifically warned to stay away from little sister but his logic was this: we’re both grown and consenting adults and what he wants should be irrelevant. Of course, the big brother threatened to tell the sister about things he used to do and of course boyfriend threatened to tell big brother what color little sisters panties are, etc.
I really should have used Dude A and Dude B. Anyway, this got me to thinking about what relationships really are off limits. Now, in this situation, dude specifically said, “stay away from my sister” and those wishes were not respected but at least he’s in a real relationship with the little sister – not just jumpoff Josie jgets jizzed jon.
J’yeah.
In my opinion, if they’re both grown then f*ck it. You can’t stop grown folks from doing what they want to do anyway, no matter how reasonable the request. However, as his best friend, shouldn’t that request at LEAST be honored and if they MUST not follow his request, shouldn’t they have come to him and been like, “we’re doing this anyway and you’re going to see some foul pictures and I like to put my legs behind my head, etc”
So reasonable people of VSB, if big brother says little sister is off limits…is she? If so, why? What are other relationships that should be off limits and why? Hell, what’s reasonable? Today, let’s focus on morality, common decencey, and education.
We’ll work on colors tomorrow.
And by the way, that little white girl has no business dating that big scawy monsterw.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
**ADMIN.NOTE: Please take a moment to venture over to a new website I’m writing for as well. It’s very VSB-ish but you’ll be able to see the difference probably almost instantly. It’s called Guyspeak.com. Check it out. Spend a day, a week, or a lifetime. Feel free to leave questions for any of the guys, but specifically moi, the Girls’ BFF. Btw, this time, the Girls’ BFF is not a gay guy.**
This should probably go without saying, but stand clear of relationships with co-workers. Shout out to Letterman.
@Monk, i will never understand for the life of me why anybody would start hambonin’ a coworker. i used to have coworkers try to hook me up with a chick that worked here (we were the TWO (count’em TWO) Black folks here so they thought we should date).
im like, you do not sh*t where you eat. period. not even if you work at a call center.
@Panama Jackson,
I beg to differ, and that’s only because at the YMCA I worked at, it was basically all black chicks from the AUC, AND it was right across from Georgia Tech.
I HAD to. It would have been wasting God’s blessing. Right? RIGHT?
@Dante_Alexander, you do get a pass from the AUC. women in the AUC are too fine not to deal with them.
its like a freakin’ buffet of beauty, booty, and brains.
and brains can mean anything you want it too.
@Monk,
I have to disagree with this one. I dated a co-worker. Well, actually, we’re still dating. But I got another job with another company and he started his own business. So we don’t work together any more.
But I think sometimes it’s natural to hook up with co-workers because of the amount of time you spend together and because you will more than likely have similar interests.
Now if you said it’s off limits to date your boss or one of your subordinates, I’d agree.
@Right Her,
The thing is, the success rate for these relationships are pretty low so although there are some cases where it works, it would be good practice to avoid this. Certain jobs even have rules against this.
Also, say for example if you live with your S.O., that would mean that you two are practically together ALL the time and to each his/her own, but a little bit of space is ideal for me and many others.
Plus, it just seems like others would be all in your business or at least trying to be and that’s not a good look.
This one hits close to home for me. Without question, anyone who has been with your sibling should be off limits. I don’t know if men would feel different about their brother hooking up with someone they’ve been with, but I don’t know a woman who would be okay with their sister doing it.
@SaneN85,
I agree. Sloppy seconds from the homie is a no go so diving in after my brother is definitely not a food look.
@SaneN85, this does get complicated. i’ve seent it done before. but as long as all parties can play fair and let bygones be bygones, perhaps it can work for the world.
heal the world, make it a better place.
@SaneN85,
Yeah, I’ll never mess with one ot my sister’s men. I’ll acknowledge this tends to drastically reduce the pot, but I’m just turned off by a man who was tryna get at one of my sisters first. Yucky!
@Me fail english?, how many sisters do you have?
@Panama Jackson,
Just two. But we’re close in age. The oldest one is strikingly pretty, while me and the other one are just cute. The one closer in age to me is more aggressive so even if dude was gettin at me first she’ll jump in the way. Unless he straight shuts her down that’s the end of that (cause Im certainly not gonna tell my big sister to back off). So when I hang out with them my pot is usually reduced to the scraps. Eff it tho I still cant mess with their left overs.
Messing with Gina got Manolo killed.
That said, co-workers and family members from first cousins up should be off limits.
And trying to wife your boy’s ex jump-off is probably not a good idea either. I heard this happened to a friend of a friend and afterward they were sharing the same prescription.
Not that this would happen every time, but still…
@Maximillian, seems to me, wifing up jumpoffs is the problem in the first place. then again, a lot of folks dont’ even know they’re dating somebody else’s jumpoff.
facebook is the debil.
@Panama Jackson, jumpoffs need love too….besides most people have dated someone’s jump-off before…or unknowingly been someone’s jump-off ….and once this happens to you are you supposed to be banned from the dating pool and bannished to jump-offdom for the rest of your life?
@Panama Jackson,
“a lot of people don’t even know they’re dating somebody else’s jumpoff”
So true and I’ve seen this play out WAY too often.
@Maximillian,
“Messing with Gina got Manolo killed.”
LMAO
Manolo was fine as heyll…btw.
@Maximillian,
Yea it did!
Not even going to lie to you…but my sisters would probably mess with dude just because I said not to. Well one would. Honestly…I have one dude that is a really good (i even call him a bestie) and they wouldn’t mess with him with a 50 ft pole…simply b/c he’s no wear near their types.
Now…would my brother mess with my friends…hells yeah. In fact, been there done there, laughed at her about it. Hey what can I say… I usually befriend decent well to do chicks and my brother is apparently a very doable guy.
***I just wanna say YAAAAAY!! I just noticed I was on the friends list. That made me happy@@***
Not much to say or do now except hope she doesn’t take the walk of shame from my apartment the next time it happens…and no one is drunk of 151.
@Ro,
i just read your “crossroads crisis,” entry and i gotta say: coooooooooooooooooooo-sign. it’s like we’s “here.” ya know, the proverbial “here.”
@Ro, i’ve totally dated my sister’s friends. okay, perhaps date is a strong word.
but having a same age sister/brother is GREAT for a high school libido.
If my brother told me his best friend was off limits, I would assume that 1.) the eleven year age difference would be a big problem until I turned 30, and 2.) my brother knows about all of the disgusting and nasty things his best bud does to virtuous young ladies…basically turns them out and leaves them lying in the fetal position, quivering on the wet spot.
I can definitely see why someone would not want a friend dating a younger sibling. I wouldn’t want any of my male friends dating my younger sister. Not that they are bad guys, but I know them too well, and would not feel comfy about it. But, if it was that true Swizz & Alicia love o_O, then I might consider it.
Other prohibited relationships…
co-workers
pastor & congregant
2nd cousins
father & best friend 18+
Mother & best friend 18+
@maN.I.Acal chica….,
the disgusting and nasty things his best bud does to virtuous young ladies…basically turns them out and leaves them lying in the fetal position, quivering on the wet spot.
what a disturbing visual….
@superwoman,
disturbing? really? yeah, good chex can be disturbing… I admit I was disturbed when it happened.
@maN.I.Acal chica….,
Where you gotta go to get it lol???
@maN.I.Acal chica…., pastor & congregant
whats the point of being a pastor if you can’t use your pastor points and spread your “message”?
@Panama Jackson,
If by “message” you mean…
never mind.
it must be the name
LOL War of the Roses is Hilarious haven’t been up that early in a while to hear it, but its def one of the best morning shows in the DC metro area! So back to the question. My brother has def TRIED to regulate my love life and I have snuck around a bit with some acquaintances and in the end he was right! They were losers and I learned my lesson.
Dating a friends ex and or parent (it happens) is off limits in my book! Everything else is a go. I could care less if one of my friends wanted to date my bro. Just don’t come to me crying when he does you dirty lol.
@GEELA, i have a hombre who thinks that friends exes aren’t off limits. in his estimation, that relationship didnt’ work out so why deny anybody their possible soulmate (i know, depends on if you believe it) just b/c your boy/girl got to them first.
makes sense in theory…but for whatever reason…that rule exists for a reason.
i also know a dude who’s attempted to holler at NO LESS than 2 of my exes. lol. what a dolt.
@Panama Jackson, “i also know a dude who’s attempted to holler at NO LESS than 2 of my exes. lol. what a dolt.”
I have a homie like this . . I swear his AIM buddy list has to be a list of girls that I dealt with in the 10 years that I have known him. I’d be living somewhere deep and he’d be at a bar back home with past conquests taking pics on facebook . . . I kinda feel bad for him . . . as long as he don’t bring em around me he is good. Ol wanna be me @ss ninja LoL
@IVR,
I had a friend like this too. I aint cut her off, but I NEVER reach out to this broad anymore. It’s like an ego thing for her to see if she can pull the dudes that I pulled. And of course if she cant they’re always “wack” or “gay” or smthg. Bish plz!
@Me fail english?, yeah, this particular ninja has gone out of his way to try to keep his sh*t hidden but apparently somebody forgot to tell him that i’m panama muhf*ckin. they always bring my money back and i always know whats going on in my streets.
lol. this ninja has lied to my face about dealing with an ex of mine. only thing is he thought it was more significant than she did b/c she was telling me about him. clearly, he lied to myface about a few things. but f*ck him. he’s a p*ssy anyway. and he knows it.
lucky for me, i’d never call this ninja a friend.
@Panama Jackson,
“but apparently somebody forgot to tell him that i’m panama muhf*ckin. they always bring my money back and i always know whats going on in my streets.”
LMAO
So Panama is a p.i.m.p.?
ok.
@Panama Jackson,
i have a hombre who thinks that friends exes aren’t off limits. in his estimation, that relationship didnt’ work out so why deny anybody their possible soulmate (i know, depends on if you believe it) just b/c your boy/girl got to them first.
I actually kinda agree with that… I am in the process of hooking one of my greatest girl to an ex… because I know they will be a GREAT match. The fact that we didn’t work out doesn’t mean I should block their potential happiness/bliss…
I think people need to let go of old relationships…
since i was in my teens, i’ve been hearing from my friends (respectfully, but it’s still gross) how good looking my dad is. it’s just weird, and my reaction then – and today, years later – is to clap my hands over my ears and yell unintelligible sh!t till they stop.
needless to say (but i’ll say it anyway)- parents are a no-go zone.
as are my exes. don’t. just. don’t.
@superwoman, front if you want…
but tell me you DON’T want to be the hot parent the kids are all talking about??
i’m totally going for “dang…panamina’s pops is the hottest 3 i’ve ever seen!!!”
@Panama Jackson,
Seriously. Vanity aside, I just think it’s a good look when parents keep themselves up. I love to see good looking parents, especially couples, and I plan to be the hottest mom on the block.
1.My sister is off limits among friends and ninjas I know. I did not decide this, it’s my Ruger P94 40 caliber with the hydra shocks that insist. (shrugs)
2. Co-workers. Do not ish where you eat. It’s a problem, literally and figuratively.
These are the only two examples that come to me instantly. I would like to ask the women why the “love-of-my-life/Mr. Big” ex is off limits. I hear women say that all the time that the guy who had that spot is ‘untouchable’ among their friends. Problem is, these women usually have a LOT of friends (laugh). My logic is that if it was like that, you all would be together, so you have no claim. Another thing is, shouldn’t the man be allowed an opinion? I mean, if he is feeling a female who happens to be friends/acquaintances with his “love-of-my-life” ex, shouldn’t he be allowed input on his own happiness?
I only see this being an issue only if one/both parties are being dishonest about their relationship or status.
Get at me…
Bond. BlkBond.
PS–PJ, be there by weeks end if this weather clears
@BlkBond,
“My sister is off limits among friends and ninjas I know. I did not decide this, it’s my Ruger P94 40 caliber with the hydra shocks that insist. (shrugs)”
This has to be one of the sexiest sentences I’ve read on VSB…..
@Madame Zenobia,
Thanks love. Do you shoot?
@BlkBond,
Not yet, I have a friend who is supposed to teach me. So maybe soon…..
@BlkBond, this –> I would like to ask the women why the “love-of-my-life/Mr. Big” ex is off limits <– leads me to wonder about the nature of your relationships and if you have ever loved someone that deeply. Not to be disrespectful or judging how you are in your relationships but I wonder if you only say that since it hasn't been your experience. Or maybe it has and you just don't give a damn. Maybe it's just a man/woman thing. Who knows?
And to say that if the love was that great you would be together is not really true because sometimes love just ain't enough. And once you've loved and been through enough, you learn that in my opinion. Sometimes life and circumstances get in the way. And it's not so much about staking a claim but you're telling me you wouldn't feel some kinda way about your boy being up under the woman you felt deeply for? Loved with everything you had? Were planning to marry or thought you would marry? That's a Big to me.
And maybe it goes back to knowing your friends and how they operate so I'm not talking about the woman who falls madly in love with every man she meets and therefore the whole world is off limits to you because some man happened to glance her way. But then again I don't have friends like that so I don't have that problem.
A casual/short relationship is okay I think as long as you talk to your girl about it first, i.e. one of my girl's blink and you'd miss it guys turned out to be a Big for me. But I went to her first still out of respect and she was cool. But if one of my girls were to try and get with him I would be upset about it. Especially because they know what he was to me and all of the things we went through together. But then again, me and most of my friends have varying tastes and even if we didn't have pretty much discussed this kind of thing already so maybe I lucked out. *kanye shrug*
@SouthernGirl,
No offense taken; now my rebuttal:
I have experienced that love, thus, from henceforth you don’t have to be unclear about that.
If love is not enough, what is? (Be careful, this is loaded)
Love conquers all (at least I thought so..) so if you all are not together, maybe…(just maybe)…it isn’t love or your time has run it’s course; however, what he/she may have with the next person maybe that eternal love that most people seek.
So if you ‘loved’ them, why would you deny them even the possibility of that?
With that said, if you are not with that person, usually there is a good reason for this, thus, it ends.
I don’t care what my ‘carrie’ does, because it ended (shrugs) and life goes on. I don’t say this in a callous manner, just being honest and realistic. We will forwever exist in memories and photos, but those two people we were… no longer exist. Do you understand?
Bond. BlkBond.
@BlkBond,
I totally understand what you’re saying. But the truth is (or my truth is) love isn’t always enough. Now that may be because of the choices one or both of you made but that’s the reality of it. It’s not about the love not being there but being able to overcome certain obstacles that are thrown in your way. And you can’t overcome those things on your own if the other person isn’t willing or able and maybe that’s where the ‘run its’ course’ part comes in.
Example my first Big (and I use that in the way of a big/major love not in s3x and the city terms. lol@carrie) could not overcome his surroundings and get out of that hood life. We’re both from the hood but I went one way and he went another for too many reasons to name here. No matter what I did or said as one of the few people that supported him and loved him in spite of, he couldn’t see it for himself. I’m not with because I didn’t love him. Trust me. That was three years together and about seven more after that as friends but I can’t make a life with you when I know you’re not calling me only because you’re in jail. And I knew that as a teenager.
Second: Just in two different place and he needed to go out and live/learn a little more about himself before settling down. Great guy, just wasn’t ready.
Do I wish them both happiness? Of course I do. Still think about them and occasionally throw up a prayer to BBJ for them too. And even though that love changes, I will always love them and want the best for them.Should that best be with one of my girls? I would hope not but if it is, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m not gonna like it. Could I stop them? Of course not. Grown folk do what they want to. It’s not about being stuck in the past or not wanting someone else to be happy but I know I would feel some kind of way to see one of them cuddled up with one of my girls. That’s just real. And maybe that’s just me.
@BlkBond, welcome back to the district.
i can truly say i really don’t understand the rules of engagement for exes and the like. i mean the rules is in place so i follow suit but also, i just cant imagine hollerin’ at an ex of one of my boys. usually, once they holler, the chicks become less attractive to me anyway…
but that’s usually cuz i have convos with them and we all know attractiveness always goes down hill when some folks start talking…
@Panama Jackson,
“and we all know attractiveness always goes down hill when some folks start talking…”
*cackle* i laugh because it’s true.
and why is my other comment on aisle #9 in limbo?
@BlkBond,
I’d be sad and a little jealous at first (if my girlfriend wound up dating him). But I know I’d get over it so I wouldn’t feel comfortable (or fair) for putting a pre-emptive kibosh on what could be real love. I even have a couple of friends/fam that I wouldnt put it past them to try Big.
But this is why my “Big” will always have a special place in my heart. He’s a highly principled man if nothing else and I would TOTALLY put it past him to do smthg like that. Call me naive or whatever but he has integrity like the day is long and to this day I trust this man with my life.
@BlkBond,
I only see this being an issue only if one/both parties are being dishonest about their relationship or status.
Agreed.
I found out not too long ago that my brother dated an ex-friend of mine. (Close in high school, grew way apart) After watching the trail of mangled hearts she had left behind, I had asked that YoungerBro be off-limits. The minute we were no longer friends she went after him. Turns out she worked his nerves and he broke out after the first date but yeah, when someone says, “Not my sibling,” that usually means you are looking out for someone’s best interests.
@OneChele, ya know, i can see why younger sisters are off limits…one must protect their virtuosity…but why younger brothers??
i know its a double standard…but i didnt make it. it just is.
You probably shouldn’t enter a relationship with Swizz Beats but whatev.
In this specific case w/the sibling I think if its a case of two grown people dating the brother should just swallow it and accept it. Yeah, I’m sure its lame, especially knowing your boys history with other broads, but your sister is a grown woman and she should be able to do what (or who) she wants.
As to making requests/demands of staying away from such and such, I think that’s unreasonable and its more than likely going to backfire against you. Everyone knows trying to implement boundaries on people just makes them want the “forbidden.”
That being said people who should be “off-limits?” Parents, people in positions of power over friends/family members, Chance, Real, New York, and friend’s significant/serious exes.
Now here’s my question are the following people OK to date after some amount of time: co-workers, insignificant exes of friends, former teachers/professors, or Ben Roethlisberger?
Lastly, I’ve only been to DC once so I’ve never heard or heard of this show, but why haven’t people figured out that when someone calls offering free flowers they should just pass?
@Madame Zenobia, as popular as this show is i have NO idea why more folks don’t just know better. i’m guessing it doesnt work on everybody and they only play the ones that do work. shit…i’m skeptical of flowers EMAILS now. lol.
and i think you can date coworkers once somebody quits or goes into pr0n or infomercials.
@Madame Zenobia,
Really Z, “Ben Roethlisberger?!?!”
Nobody wants him.
hm….my brothers aren’t really that protective. like when their friends like me they’re just like, “here. lemme give you her number.” um….yeah. but then they totally offer to step in and fight somebody (i don’t know. they’re country) if they even think i’m havin a problem, so….i guess it balances out.
but anyway, this one is obvious: no friend of mine needs to ever be datin somebody i was serious with. i don’t think friends should really limit friends from dating anybody they ever went on a date with EVER (bc i have this one friend who’s dated some of everybody in a 2 state radius, so i will not allow her to be puttin dibs on everybody all willy nilly), but, if we dated for over 6 months and/or i was really sprung on him, it’s not in the cards for you two.
plus, i don’t like the idea of my friends dating siblings of somebody i was serious with. but i think that rule is only valid for a short period of time. once, i went out with one of my close friends right after breaking up with my boyfriend of like 5 years. we ran into his brother and my friend dang near attached herself to him right there in the club….um…something about that irritated the hell out of me. because i just felt like, “uh uh! we will not be getting back connected with that family!!” but like, now, it would be cool.
and, as i still maintain a close relationship with my ex, it would be unacceptable for him to date someone i disapprove of. like, say, if i was to see him havin sushi with my arch nemesis. ok, i’m just playin.
@charli skipper, esq., but, if we dated for over 6 months and/or i was really sprung on him, it’s not in the cards for you two.
but why? if y’all didnt work out, why aren’t they in the cards for somebody you know?
ok, maybe i’m slow….but i kinda don’t understand why coworkers shouldn’t date. i know it can blow up in your face and all…actually, i had a very messy breakup with a coworker myself…i was kinda devastated, actually. but, h*ll, it was fun while it lasted. lol
@charli skipper, esq., kind of answered your own question, there, didn’t ya?
@Panama Jackson,
but is it better to have loved and lost or to never have…wait. i’m not sure if this is a good reply, BUT i’m just sayin…take note of the “but, h*ll…” section of my comment.
I’m just saying would you rather your best friend be with your sister and take care of her or some random dude mistreating her and bustin off on her face? Damn, I guess it’s rough either way…
@Da Iceman, id rather it be my best friend cuz my best friend wouldn’t be a douche.
however, i think that bustin’ off on her face visual just kilt it for me.
I don’t know about the siblings cause. But I would say any ex-spouses of friends or family members should be off limits. Also real ex-significant others of siblings and best friends. That means people who they’ve really been in a relationship with. Not someone they went out on a few dates with and never ‘talked politics’ with.
@Ms. Smart, i can see the marriage thing, but isn’t “real ex-significant others” kind of subjective? i mean, what constitutes real anyway? is it a time frame? if they met the fam?
if you played cats in the cradle?
@Panama Jackson,
“if you played cats in the cradle?”
Okay, I’m slow. You mean the string game. I was about to say, who cares what Harry Chapin would’ve thought?
And “real” is arbitrary as hell. That’s why I just stay away from EVERYONE that dealt with one of my sisters.
@Me fail english?, yeah i was talking about the string game.
@Panama Jackson,
It’s a great song, too.
@Panama Jackson, If you have ‘talked politics’ with a chick, then your brother/BFF shouldn’t mess with her.
@Ms. Smart, i’m slow…what does that mean again?
@Panama Jackson, ‘talking politics’ = screwing. Damn!
@Ms. Smart, I still feel that anyone that I went out with more than twice should be off the books for my sister(s). One of my three sisters has made a habit of attempting to go after guys that I have talked to a few times all the way to my ex-husband and the man I consider the love of my life (yes, these are two different people). Regardless of their significance in my life, it’s entirely possible that I don’t want to see that person at every one of my nieces’ birthday parties.
Not to mention the damage that this has done to my relationship with my sister. There’s clearly something more going on here than her being overwhelmingly attracted to the same men as me. Let’s just say, I did not marry my husband for his looks.
@SaneN85,
Word. I agree with this plus what I think Humble said below. People trying to rationalize and theorize why I should be okay with you screwing someone I dated raise a huge red flag for me. As a woman who’s been single, lonely and gets along with MOST of the men my friends date I have and will NEVER cross that line. Grown folks can do whatever they want, but I will always look at them like two desperate hoes.
I think siblings are off limit.. when things go sour, I don’t want my friend to be calling me “venting” about my brother… their messiness would find it’s way into our friendship.
-Another relationship off limits, and I’m not 100% true it is, but on Maury, there’s couples on there were the mom is dating/ messing with the daughter’s man.
- And in addition, dating the boss.
@Nicki Sunshine, i mean, any relationship that makes its way to maury is probably a bad situation in the first place.
does anybody else wonder if Maury Povich wakes up every day and says, “this…is my life.” and then takes a shot of whisky? maybe two?
So reasonable people of VSB, if big brother says little sister is off limits…is she?
I think so. Then again, I never wanted to date any of my brother’s freiends anyway. He’s a h*e and like birds they flock together.
What are other relationships that should be off limits and why?
I gotta agree with Monk on the not dating the co-workers. My ex and I worked together, and once we broke up it was sheer torture, due to the fact that we didn’t end on exactly rosy terms. Plus, we weren’t even supposed to be dating anyway (per policy). Don’t get your honey where you get your bread.
@miss t-lee, My ex and I worked together, and once we broke up it was sheer torture, due to the fact that we didn’t end on exactly rosy terms. Plus, we weren’t even supposed to be dating anyway (per policy).
so you risked your job for some lovin???
@Panama Jackson,
Yep. I’m gonna blame it on being young(22)…and completely and utterly dyckmatized.
@miss t-lee, and what about the al-al-al-al-alcohol??
@Panama Jackson,
Oh I never blame my shenanigans on the drank…I know full well what I’m up to.
Meh…we’ve all dated someone else’s ex (i.e the person you’re dating now was someone’s ex at some point), somebody’s left overs…if they were all off limits we’d be lonely somebodies. If one of my friends thinks he’s man enough to date one of my sisters…he’s on his own. If my girls (were single and) want to date one of my brothers…they grown, good luck. Just don’t tell me all the details and we’re cool.
I don’t know if I would say co-workers are off limits, all of my girls (4) are married to folk they worked with so I’ve seen it work. It works better if they worked it different departments or one person left the job after being married though, not having that 8-10 hour break weighed on their sanity.
Only way I would say an ex was off limits would be because of time constraints, like I don’t expect you to date him the weekend after we broke up, let me deal with these lingering emotions first; and I’ rather find out from you than on my own..don’t let me see you strolling down Haines Point hand in hand, Imma catch a ‘tude and start assuming mess.
@Smiley Face,
“If one of my friends thinks he’s man enough to date one of my sisters…he’s on his own. If my girls (were single and) want to date one of my brothers…they grown, good luck. Just don’t tell me all the details and we’re cool.”
I’m the baby and my sis are 14 years apart so I can’t really say I’ve experienced my sibling dating my friend. lol Then again, my sis does love to cradle rob so now that I’m getting older, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone in my age group tried to holler. She looks young. Hell, sometimes men my age try to holler at BOTH of us, talmbout, “Ya’ll twins?”. LMFAO.
My sister is pretty overprotective of me, though. I mean, she’d try to wrangle a nicca if she thought he was cute or good enough, but if we’re at the club or somethin’, she mean mugs any mofo that tries to get close. lol I’ll have to seriously ask her how she would feel since we’ve never been in that situation.
@Cheekie,
See..all of my friends are my siblings age, I’m the baby at 30; all of my friends are 12 to 15 years older than me except one. The gap between the second youngest and me is 9 years, lol. Maybe I would feel different if I had younger siblings..me no know.
@Smiley Face,
I have younger siblings and I don’t feel any particular way about it. I am very protective of my sisters, but if they want to date my friends I would give them my honest opinion about said friend and let them be grown-ups. If it doesn’t work out, eh, such is life. If it does, great!
I mean I come from a pretty small place where everybody has a 6 degree separation thing going on… it can get pretty complex, pretty quick…
@Smiley Face, I don’t know if I would say co-workers are off limits, all of my girls (4) are married to folk they worked with so I’ve seen it work.
where the hell did they work? popeyes on rhode island??
@Panama Jackson,
Hush yo mouf! LOL. Bank, Financial Firm, Pharmaceutical Company, Fire & EMT
@Smiley Face,
Only way I would say an ex was off limits would be because of time constraints, like I don’t expect you to date him the weekend after we broke up, let me deal with these lingering emotions first; and I’ rather find out from you than on my own..
Pretty much.
I’m the oldest of 2 girls so we never had the brother looking out for thing going. And right now I am LOOKING for somebody to date my sister *crickets*
As far as what’s off limits…anything cougar-ish with my son. He is a teenager now and I have had a girlfriend really give him an appraisal, all “He’s so tall, look at those shoulders…E is gon be FINE!!” and I really had to o_O and explain that I would kill her dead. And she giggled, he gotta learn from somebody *awkward silence, as we both contemplate whether she can make it to the door before I make it to the drawer*
Hee Hee Hell…curb your enthusiasm.
@EbonyI, Gurrrrl! Your girlfriend has HUGE cojones!! I’d want to kill an old chick DEAD for coming on to one of my young sons. Especially in my presence. Just WOW! What’s the difference between that and an old guy coming on to a teenaged girl? WOW!
@EbonyI,
“He is a teenager now and I have had a girlfriend really give him an appraisal, all “He’s so tall, look at those shoulders…E is gon be FINE!!” and I really had to o_O and explain that I would kill her dead.”
O_o AND o_O.
“He gotta learn from somebody”? WTF? The line, it has been crossed AND erased with a Magic Eraser.
I can’t even fathom some people…
@Cheekie,
Word. I might get locked up for one of these old skeezer smuts I hang with tryna corrupt my future son.
@Me fail english?,
Word!
@EbonyI,
“He’s so tall, look at those shoulders…E is gon be FINE!!” and I really had to o_O and explain that I would kill her dead. And she giggled, he gotta learn from somebody ”
She needs to be throat punched early and often.
@miss t-lee, LOL!
I just still can’t even fathom a friend having the audacity to say some shyt like that. I mean – if you think my son is fine cool… but to come out ur mouth and say, “He’s gotta learn from somebody…” ol’ nasty heffa! Talk about catching a case lol.
@pgh muse,
Yeah…that braud is so outta pocket on that. Ol’ triflin’ azz, makes you think she’s just waiting around for your child to become of age, so she can pounce on ‘em or something.
Yick.
@miss t-lee,
Oh shet!!! I almost forgot. My friend brought a dude she was dating by my crib. I had a picture up of my 3 YEAR OLD neice. Why does this fool say “I’ma wait til she turns 18″?
DA FCUK?!?! I just about hit the ceiling. He’s lucky I only threatened him and aint really physically assault his ass. Then he had the nerve to wonder why I put his asz out. I’m debating whether I should put his gov’t and hometown on blast to air this pedophile out. I honestly had no doubt in my mind after that comment that he touched little girls.
@ me fail english?,
That’s madd disturbing. *scrunched up face*
I think I would have called the police on that azz just on GP. He’s probably got some type of kiddie pron stored on his pc right now.
‘da fcuk is right?! Who says ish like that?
Yick X100
@miss t-lee,
More than you think – Morgan Freeman comes to mind.
They just usually say it about ppl 10 years older, when they can get away with saying she looks like how X looked when she was young.
@ kamakula,
Shooo Morgan didn’t even branch outside the family…lol
I see your point with the 10 years older thing.
@miss t-lee,
“Why does this fool say “I’ma wait til she turns 18??”
*mouth wide open, Sebastian-style*
WHAAAA?!
He should be added to the Registered Chexual Offender list just for that statement.
@Cheekie,
I got mad just typing this ish. Nobody ever guesses a good-looking, well-dressed, full-time college student would be tryna pop 3 year olds…actually I should’ve known better from dudes who used to pretend they didnt know I was 11 or 12 (GTFOH!).
This is why my father never let us go to sleepovers where there was a male in the house. I thought he was nuts but eff all that. He was onto something. And females aint no better!
@Me Fail,
You have a good dad. It’s truly amazing how young kids are when they start getting sexualized. I want my kids to be innocent for as LONG as possible. Shyt.
@miss t-lee,
LMFAO @ getting throat punched “early”.
Like,
miss t-lee: Rise and shine! *throat punch*
@Cheekie,
That would be a helluva wake up call huh?
*sniggling*
@EbonyI, i think you may have stumbled onto the one situation i truly think is completely off limits.
old hag with young son…just wrong.
@Panama Jackson,
So you’re calling EbonyI an old hag?
@kamakula, LMAO. um. no. i’m more referring to the instance of an old hag going at a somebody’s young son.
LOL.
@Panama Jackson,
Well, the “old hag” in question and EbonyI are agemates. . .
I guess I’m more liberal about this. Exes and siblings are on the table. I’m not with the ex for a reason, have at her. My sisters are older than me so I assume they don’t have the rose colored glasses on about any of my older or near my age friends.
Work is a no fly zone. Don’t get your honey where you get your money or vice versa. I’m sayin that while there is this extremely large chesticled light skinned black woman here that has me thinkin about doin things that illegal in the state of TX. Even still after my fellowship is over….well….
@Stank-0, you got her number don’t you?
@Stank-0,
“I’m sayin that while there is this extremely large chesticled light skinned black woman here that has me thinkin about doin things that illegal in the state of TX. Even still after my fellowship is over….well….”
*sniggling*
You don’t know about them TX girls…
Sister is off limits something about it is disresptecful. You dont want your sister to get smutted out by your homie if you can help it
@The Don, um, i dont want my sister to get smutted out by anybody. lol.
as far as i know, and despite the gaggle of nieces and nephews to the contrary, my sisters are all pure as the freshly driven snow.
Folk really need to learn to respect others boundaries…kinda like those medians and gaurdrails on the highway..they are there really for everyones safety and protection from collisions, messy situations and/or fatalities (shout out to old school Mortal Kombat) LOL
@OrangeStar616, but even guardrails and sh*t don’t last forever. there’s always holes and gaps in them.
@Panama Jackson, honey thats why they replace em erry so often with something stronger and more durable = gaining of more wisdom and understanding = stronger respect for and estb of boundaries…thats key for any relationship, familial on down..you start vilolating boundaries and things are guaranteed to get volitile…
*sidenote* Mike Tyson on Oprah was aiight yesterday
@OrangeStar616,
Was it just me or did Mike’s wife sound blissfully naive? I know that film was shot like two years ago, but Mike dont seem 100% right.
@Me fail english?,
“Was it just me or did Mike’s wife sound blissfully naive? ”
My BFF and I said the same thing while we were watching yesterday.
I was like “she’s a brave chick ’cause ain’t no freakin way”…lol
@OrangeStar616,
If my brother was able to convince me to play a game with him,Mortal Kombat was the only game I would play.MORTAL KOMBAT!!!
“Did y’all get Columbus Day off?”
No. *pout* And I missed ya’ll yesterday. How we not gonna get the day off honoring the man who
upped and landed indiscovered America?! Teachers used to make such a big deal about it, so every single job in the history of jobs should get a break.“What are other relationships that should be off limits and why?”
A homie and a mother. Point, blank and — that’s right — period. NO. Do not pass GO. Do not collect my Mama’s 401K. Won’t happen.
@Cheekie,
Actually, I read an article yesterday on MSNBC about Colombus Day, and what it means to the up and coming generation. The article even mentioned how a class of militant a$$ elementary school kids put Colombus on trial, and found him guilty of “falsely trying to discover some shyt that had already been established” “murdering hundreds of thousands of innocent ppl bringing them the wonderful gift of smallpox”.. “enslaving indeginous people” HA-HA! It was really cute! The visual that popped into my head when i read this article, was the little YT boy on I’M GONN GET YOU SUKKA…. I think I’m going to purchase my daughter a black beret’!
@Lanieanna,
lol! I loved that lil white boy on I’m Gonna Git You Sucka!!
@Lanieanna,
AHAHAHAHA! Loves it.
ETA:
Also, the above article is one of the few reasons why I believe children SHOULD be our future. lol
@Cheekie, yeah, only in America do silly suckas get holidays for showing up somewhere other people already were chillin.
kind of how i feel about the moon landing.
however, i sure as sh*t enjoyed my day off.
viva la government.
@Panama Jackson,
“yeah, only in America do silly suckas get holidays for showing up somewhere other people already were chillin.”
Yup.
Maybe I shoulda called off work yesterday, claiming “smallpox”.
@Cheekie,
Maybe I shoulda called off work yesterday, claiming “smallpox”.
DEAD… of smallpox.
1. f columbus…..
2. as the resident sasquatch….all women white brown tan black red and yellow deserve to be done right
@kingpinenut, speaking of sasquatch…y’all seen those beef jerky commercials??
hilarious.
@Panama Jackson,
man…you KNOW i live in east jesus…if catch a good signal I *might* get PBS….
just this weekend i walked through town and jaws dropped…..
i’ll have to look for the commerical lol
I say its unreasonable to make these types of requests. The friend shouldnt have made his sister off limits as she is a grown woman and his boy is a grown man. Now I can see if he told dude, look you cant run through my sister and treat her like a h* and common respect would state that his friend would agree and not fool with her if he wasnt trying to have a relationship. He doesnt owe his boy anything more than that.
@shay_d_lady, well stated, on some elder statesman logic.
@Panama Jackson,
I agree. Though that should go without saying. It’s one thing for some pansy I don’t know to do this. It’s quite another when it’s someone whose home address I know well.
I’m just saying, people should place more value on their lives.
@shay_d_lady, I agree with this whole comment.
Well….
I’m an only child…. I have 3 friends, not one of them live in the state of Louisiana…. and I’m single!…. Can a sistah get a pass?
@Lanieanna, sure. why not. it’s tuesday.
I ain’t got no sisters so for that reason, I guess I have the luxury of saying I don’t see what the problem is. Two consenting adults gon go ahead and engage in consenting adult behavior. I wouldn’t care if my brotha went at my ex cos, she an ex. Hell, for all I know me and her got together in order for them to meet. Our relationship ran its course, and died, if they wanna try that road, it’ll be harder for THEM…godspeed.
Colleagues/Boss…yeah, been there done that, dissolved but it was worth it…memories to the grave on that one. A friend of a friends mama used to get to they crib and find us there, then go change and come out, well wearing much less, and just hang around. Everyone else would look away, I couldn’t. I knew she enjoyed my eyes and well, my eyes enjoyed her. We used to love going over there, but then had a fall out with the dude. It was unacceptable then, but had I bumped into her the day after, even the day of the fall out, I’da had another memory cos she was da bidness. I’d like to think she still thinks of me too LOL!!
All in all, I think relationships are adult business. U conduct urself like an adult and whether they evolve or dissolve should be fine. There is no reason to feel weird around ur ex. Whatever happened happened and u gotta move on. Wish em the best just keep moving.
PS… parents of friends ARE off-limits…but when said person is no longer a friend…
off limits for me would be:
-co workers
-neighbors. no good can come from this situation.
-exes of any of my close friends. and by exes i mean serious relationships.
i don’t know if any of my friend’s sisters would be off limits to me. it would just depend. a lot of my friends have good looking sisters. older and younger. i remember when i was younger older sister’s friend tried to “date” me. my sister is 9 years older than me so she definitely put an end to that situation.
@Tunde, -neighbors. no good can come from this situation.
while i see what you mean…as long as you establish a proper jumpoff situation, this is so ideal i can’t believe more people dont do this.
20 feet-away cheeks are the best way to go.
@Panama Jackson,
“20 feet-away cheeks are the best way to go.”
Unless that is your only jump off and you plan to keep it a FB situation forever, this is not ideal.
She sees who you are bringing home, you see who she is bringing home, not cool. How are you to know that isn’t her cousin or vice versa?
Also it becomes annoying that someone can just show up at any time. It is all convenient the first few times, then it is time to move.
@Ivy St., exactly!! most likely if it’s a jumpoff situation you have other people in your life. do you really think she/he is going to be cool with seeing you bring other people by the crib? also as in any j/o situation someone is going to catch feelings eventually. how well do you think that’s gonna work out once that happens?
@Panama Jackson,
Nah– you gotta have a buffer zone.
Neighbors are too close for comfort.
@miss t-lee,
Word. I hate running into ppl unexpectedly. I need to control when I see folks. Although I dont mind one bit that my new neighbor is sexy as hell and bonus, he doesn’t look like he talks much. Just a head nod, smile and wave and he goes on about his sexy business.
@Me fail english?,
“Word. I hate running into ppl unexpectedly. I need to control when I see folks”
Control freaks of the world, unite! LOL Then they’ll wanna be knocking on the door all hours, all willy nilly. LOL
@Me fail english?, that is a pet peeve of mine. do not show up at my door if i don’t know you’re coming. quickest way to get carried or better yet get your feelings hurt because i don’t answer the door.
@Tunde,
I’m the same way about folks showing up the crib unexpected. I must get it from my mama. Up and show up at her house without calling? She’ll treat you like a Jehovah’s Witness…don’t matter WHO you are. Yup, even family. lmfao @ her.
@miss t-lee, “Nah– you gotta have a buffer zone.
Neighbors are too close for comfort.”
For real . . . When I first arrived in the DMV I was dealing with my leasing agent and that was a nightmare! Waking up and the broad is watching me sleep because she has a master key and sh!t . . .no bueno . . . but . . . good buns . . . I might do it again . . . glutton for punishment I suppose . . .
@IVR,
The leasing agent?!??! Wow…you were brave.
My sister is hot.
So is this lead, muddafooka.
You’ve been warned.
@Dante_Alexander,
*snicker*
Siblings are the “you touch it you marry it” equivalent of the “you break it you bought it” rule. There is nothing wrong with a good old fashioned shotgun marriage.
@kamakula, I aint got no sistas, but I think if I did…u said it perfectly. U touch u marry. Otherwise every time u see the ninja there’s gonna be a misunderstanding.
I had the opposite situation. My friend wanted to date my sister and I asked him to take a pass. I love my sister, but she is a straight predator when it comes to men. And my friend, bless his heart, is a sweet guy who doesn’t even begin to have the guile that it takes to run with her. Dumbly, I actually gave him my reasoning when he asked and then he was of course insulted and took it as a challenge. Sure enough, she clear-cut his life like a swath of rainforest. It’s been years and he still will ask me about her from time to time. I just give a non-committal mumble and wonder how it’s possible he didn’t learn a lesson. I think generally, I warn people off for a good reason. I can put aside my discomfort with their proposed relationship, if I think that nobody’s going to get demolished or incinerated. So, if I tell you someone is out of bounds, truly, I’m trying to help you out. Take it as a heads-up and move on.
@AstralTraveler,
This is funny. And I agree. My male friends can attempt whatever they want to. One is the definition of high-maintenance, the other is a stone cold pimp. Good luck!
@AstralTraveler,
”
So, if I tell you someone is out of bounds, truly, I’m trying to help you out. Take it as a heads-up and move on.”
See– you sound like me. Over the years, I’ve had some of my homegirls try to date my brothers, and I tell ‘em straight up…hey, if you deal with them, you are on your own.
Don’t call me crying, talking about he done ran through you and now he won’t return your calls and ish. I’m not gonna be sitting up on the phone tryna console you when I told you what the deal was from jump.
This is also the same reason I’m not friends with any of their girlfriends/jumpoffs. It’s just easier not to get involved.
I wouldn’t want people in my inner circle hooking up n wasting time. In other words. If I wouldn’t bless the relationship because of what ever relationship it’s a no no. Like if they don’t have any common interests other than fuhck face. If they not equally yolked this is more of a protection thing for my siszle. If they not compatable chineese n sun sign why are they bothering.
If somebody close gives the nay no. Don’t go. Ask Tony Montana’s baby sister. Not worth it.
“The personalities are hilarious and the skits have almost caused pileups on many of Washington’s busy by ways and highways.”
That’s not it. Folks in DC just don’t know how to drive!
Probably some of the same ones folks were already saying. You don’t date:
-Your ex’s relatives or close friends. People you later find out they happened to know, oh well.
-Anyone you’re old enough to be a parent of…unless they’re over 25
-Co-workers. Once you or they no longer work in the same place, go for yours, young villain.
-For all you Christian girls, you can date A pastor, but don’t date THE pastor, LOL
If I had a younger sister (mine are considerably older) or my boys had a sister, I would think the rule is simply treat her right. Must understand you’re too close not to complicate matters of friendship…this definitely means making it a simple smut out is a no-no.
Now if you wanted to get on the “Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on” tip, all bets are off….
Generally though, if relations are for real, what can those who disapprove really do?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“If I had a younger sister (mine are considerably older) or my boys had a sister, I would think the rule is simply treat her right. Must understand you’re too close not to complicate matters of friendship…this definitely means making it a simple smut out is a no-no”
IMHO you wouldn’t cut into your homeboys sister unless your intentions were good. I can’t see myself trying to get at my boys sister for jump-off purposes.
I understand the whole no friend’s ex thing but if its meant to be it will be. I have/am dating a former friend’s ex and we are getting married. Loooong story short, he told her he was interested in me before we even went on a date and they had been broken up for two years so I felt that the statute of limitations was up. It was a risk i took but it was worth it in the end. I WOULD DO IT again shooooooooo
@talking silently,
I notice you said “former friend.”
Are friends, acquaintances and associates off-limits? Really, how deep does it go? It’s one thing to be pursuing just for the sake of pursuing, but if you find happiness with your boy’s ex after years of separation should you turn the other way. How long does a ninja get to claim a woman and deem her off-limits?
@Miss Patterson,
I think that the statute of limitations should be 15 years after the offcial break-up or last moment of intercourse if it was in high school. 20-25 years after the last break-up if it happened in college or later.
@Humble_One aka Recession Fodder,
Most folks gone be past the change by then or on the little blue pill.
@Miss Patterson,
How long does a ninja get to claim a woman and deem her off-limits?
Good question!
There’s a statute of limitations on friend’s ex’s with the exception of 1st loves.
On my life, if one of my friends touched my first love in 10 years. I’m cuttin her weave out in public, freezing her panties at her house, putting ketchup in her face lotion bottle, and then stealing all of her designer purses.
When she comes to my house to whine about it…I’m giving her a left right combo to the face and calling the cops my darnself.
1st loves off limits. 5 year statute of limitations on other ex boyfriends/girlfriends.
@RunBabyRun, but what if you’re happily MWC (married with children)? What do you look like to your husband and others still marking outside territory like it’s relationship manifest destiny?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Yeah I’d be mad as hell if bf started tripping out about some dude dating his ex. I could see him thinking dude was ex and not wanting to be tight with him anymore. But going EXTRA in? Nah, homie. How bout yall slug it out for her love and I’ll go on bout my way.
I believe there are limits and it bothers me when people don’t respect it. Some things cause a big mess. My boy couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t talk to my homegirl that was with my another friend. These two were in a relationship how am I going to come in after him and be with the the same chick – in a relationship? How awkward would it be for us to be out and my friend is with his wife and I’m with his ex. My homeboy thought that since my friend is married now that it doesn’t matter. That whole conversation reminded of how people stay in drama. Dudes with d**ks that have no boundaries and woman so desperate to have their emotions soothed that they will take anything.
@Humble_One aka Recession Fodder,
“Dudes with d**ks that have no boundaries and woman so desperate to have their emotions soothed that they will take anything.”
Wow. I actually agree with you.
@miss t-lee,
lol. Yeah I agree with him too. I think finding the “one” would make any of us throw our old rules under serious review. But for the most part, none of these rel’ships is worth the ensuing drama.
I don’t have any sisters, but I have 1st cousins who are like sisters to me. I’ve had homeboys who have wanted to get at my cousins, and in some cases I’ve flat out said, “NO,” and in some cases I just let my boys play themselves knowing they had no chance. LOL. In cases where a relative of mine wanted to get at one of my boys, I looked at it like this: All of the chicks I’ve been in relationships with or messed with are all someone’s sister, cousin, mother, niece, etc. So I can’t stop you from doing what you want to do! If you two choose to get involved, then so be it. Now, I don’t want to know about any of it. Just keep me out the loop if y’all choose to do whatever.
However, if I find out you’ve dogged her or you happen to brag about anything disrepecting my fam and me, then my Pistol L. Jenkins and I might have to go in on you. You can choose to do what you want, but you can’t choose the consequences. LOL
MJB has been officially stuck in my head all day.
Loving you is all I wanna do.
Loving you is all I wanna do.
Loving you
Every day.
Don’t you look no more.
Love without a limit.
@SexyCool,
Interesting. I’m not a mary j fan like that n stuff. So I been thinking of that push it to the limit song…
First of all, I just wanna say I love you for your forced use of alliteration. J’yeah!
Secondly, close friend’s exes are off limit. Period. Unless you’re my brother who married his guy’s ex-girl. (They’re no longer friends by the way).
Ciao!
@kamakula,
LOL…thanks for defending my honor but I didn’t take it like that. I’m doing aight, haven’t slid into hag-dom just yet. H3ll, with pumps & a push up I’m downright MILF-ish
and i agree with the calling of some authority on the fool checking out a 3 year old…that sh&t is insane!!!
I know this is MAAAAAAD old, but I just discovered this site whilst (avoiding doing actual work) at work and I’m literally reading every post (and the attendant comments–y’all is HILARIOUS) from day one. I have absolutely nothing of value to add to the conversation except to say that if the above 10 Kool-Aid points remain uncalimed, I offer that to “put two in the sky to let dem know I’m babysittin’” is a reference from OutKast’s “Decatur Psalm” from the ATLiens album.