Love & Hip Hop New York Ep. 501 Recap: Bride and Prejudice » VSB

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Love & Hip Hop New York Ep. 501 Recap: Bride and Prejudice

Hello beautiful people. I know we are all rightfully verklempt that Love and Hip Hop Hollywood has come to a close and we’ve only got an imaginary dildo concept to show for it. Don’t fret though – Mona has decided us to hold over with another season of the lynchpin show that started it all: Love and Hip Hop NY. As the spinoffs have evolved so far beyond the original at this point, LHHNY feels like trying to slap on a nicotine patch to curb a pack-a-day habit – but I’m determined to help us get through this withdrawal together, so lets get started.

The season kicks off with Yandy renting what can only be described as a private party van to head up to Rochester and free her bae Mendeecee(s)* from federal prison. I don’t know what world exists where you get bail and no house arrest for trying to be the 21st century BMF but I guess you can’t admit to a witness protection agreement on national television.

We’re next taken up to Dyckman for the latest installment of “the ratchet L Word.” Cyn “Young Chipotle” Santana is still struggling with Erica Mena’s incapability of being in a monogamous lesbian relationship in a room where there are men. None of this is helped by a live taping of 106 and Park (pours out a little liquor) where she tongued down Lil Bow Wow (I heard he’s trying to go by Shad Moss now but no one’s got time for his government name) to “keep her fans happy.” I don’t know what abyss of the internet contains the 7 trifling folks who’ve been clamoring for a Bow Wow and Erica pairing, but they each owe me money so I could get 5 minutes of my life back. While Erica continues to insist that “there’s no right and there’s no wrong”, she placates Cyn by telling her that “cuffing season is year round.” She then goes down to Caridad to pick up some mangu and morir sonando while Cyn falls into a peaceful slumber, false lashes and all, bachata playing softly in the background, with dreams of hookah deals at La Marina calming her spirit.

At long last, we are returned to the never ending case of Peter Gunz and his Wandering Penis. Last we left them, Peter had decided to commit to Amina and their upcoming child. Well here we are five months later at the sonogram, and it seems to be finally hitting them that ole boy is about to have his 8th kid with not a job to be found. (Love and Hip Hop doesn’t count as a job because they’re paid in Crown Fried Chicken Gift Certificates). Even with Peter being first in line on the unemployment queue, Amina notes that Peter is still leaving early and coming home late…we all know how this story ends. Somewhere in Queens, Tara is getting her groove back by going for a run in the middle of the street at night in traffic and doing the most erotic calisthenics in life with her new “personal trainer.”Girl, I guess.

We’ve also got a whole bunch of new characters to replace the interchangeable characters from last season (bye bye Erica and Saigon): first we have Diamond Strawberry (did her parents think that name through?), daughter of the legendary baseball player, who inexplicably left her kid behind to pursue a career in the back pages of King Magazine. She is also in a relationship with a man named Cisco – although he may not be in a relationship with her (his words: “she don’t ask, I don’t tell). I’m in on Cisco only because he claims to be a producer for a Brooklyn Area rapper that goes by the name Uncle Murda and is responsible for this piece of local cable advertising greatness. Get him a guest feature Mona!

We also meet Chrissy, a former Madame/Pimp turned “model manager” who alleges that Erica Mena used to be part of her harem, and her man Chink, who’s allegedly produced for the likes of Ja Rule, Ashanti, Toni Braxton, and Keyshia Cole – which means he stopped working in 2005. So far I’m unbothered but a white woman with a patterned fade always has potential so I’ll keep my third eye open.

The episode ends with Mandeecee(s) whisking Yandy away to Vegas for a surprise wedding, which as usual, left me with more questions than answers. How did he get access to his bank account? How is he allowed to cross state lines? Is he not a flight risk? Is a camo button down considered appropriate eloping attire? Find out on the next episode of Dragonball Z.

*Have we ever gotten consensus on whether or not the S was silent?

Shamira Ibrahim

Shamira is a twentysomething New Yorker who likes all things Dipset. You can join her in waxing poetically about chicken, Cam'ron, and gentrification (gotta have some balance) under the influence of varying amounts of brown liquor at her semi-monthly blog, shamspam.tumblr.com

  • “Is a camo button down considered appropriate eloping attire? Find out on the next episode of Dragonball Z.”

    All great questions. A. Remember this guttersnipe proposed while wearing a snap back. Don’t give him too much credit for anything. He is capable of any heinous act. B. Props for taking me back to my Toonami watching days back in the late 90’s/earlier 2000’s.

  • camilleblu

    “So far I’m unbothered but a white woman with a patterned fade always has potential so I’ll keep my third eye open.”

    and diamond strawberry – i’m pretty sure darryl strawberry was deep in the throes of his crack habit when they named that girl..

    lololol…great recap sham

    • God Shammgod

      *bows* I try n ish…sometimes

  • Mika

    “The season kicks off with Yandy renting what can only be described as a private party van to head up to Rochester and free her bae Mendeecee(s)* from federal prison”—-this silent “S” is so confusing…….
    #IDIED been waiting for some kind of recap on this fiasco. beautifully written, and hilarious.

    • God Shammgod

      Thank ya! It looks like there’ll be more fodder than I expected for the season so I’m doing the *birdman hand rub*

    • Melissa

      Seriously, I’m working from home today and have been refreshing repeatedly just hoping for a recap. God, this was just so great. My best friend is a lawyer, so you know I had to call her up to interrupt her way more productive workday and ask her exactly how Mendeecees can travel unfettered while out on bail for a federal crime.

      Her exact words to me were, “Melissa, I want you to put your Critical Thinking Hat On. Also, when I inevitably break down and have to shut my office door to watch this unholy mess at my desk, it’s your fault.”

      http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/1001775/sheeeeeeeeeeeeit-o.gif

    • MrsRivera

      I died at the being paid in Crown fried chicken gift certificates…

  • Meridian

    I’m ratcheted out. I won’t be watching this season but hopefully some vicarious entertainment will be had through the recaps.

    • Nope suffer with me darling…don’t make me get your gchat

      • Meridian

        lol! No. Just…absolutely not. iCant. I did Love and Hip Hop Hollywood so I feel like I met my quota of suffering.

  • LadyIbaka

    The names these folks possess put Nigerian names to shame. Mendywhat?! Strawberry and Creams?!
    Yandy-sounds tardy for the party. Where does Mona get these ‘younique brand named’ folks from? She a beast in making coints from madness

    • Guest

      I watched a few of the older episodes during the LHHNY marathon over the weekend, and Yandy claimed that Mendeeces was an African name. Can anyone confirm?

  • camilleblu

    also…what i WON’T be watching is that dayum vh1 sorority reality show fiasco. that was just as bad…nay, WORSE than that #turrible-azz baps show that got cancelled a while back. any lady in any of the sororities shown last night should be ashamed of those girls….smh. that shyt had nothing, and i mean NOTHING to do with sisterhood, service and scholarship.

    • Who came up with that show. They were all just cliches with wigs, weaves, and letters.

      • camilleblu

        yo…that shyt was the worst…THEEEE WORST.

        • Are they making that much money that they aren’t embarrassed by that ish?

          • AlwaysCC

            i told my line sister earlier, some people are willing to sell their soul for the right amount of money. it doesn’t even have to be *that* much

      • Val

        Mona Scott. She is the debil.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mona_Scott

        • SororSalsa

          Satan Scott Young indeed!

    • that sorority sisters reality show validated my decision not to join a sorority in college and grad school. i hope it really doesn’t go down like that..

      • Val

        “that sorority sisters reality show validated my decision not to join a sorority in college and grad school.”

        Really? That’s sad. Nothing should be judged by reality shows. Being apart of a sorority is an amazing lifelong experience.

        • yeah, i actually feared my experience would turn out like that, so i never wanted to be a part of it.

          • SororSalsa

            Tiana, I pledged grad chapter, and I can relate on the ridiculousness that was undergrad BGLO’s. Being in a sorority post-grad is a wholly different experience than the focus of greek life undergrad. I haven’t seen the show, but I can only imagine that it plays to the lowest common denominator.

            • i agree with that. i think grad chapter would have been a much better experience for me.

        • Andrea

          Did you pledge Val? I didn’t.

          • Meridian

            I wish I had. I always find myself watching certain films (HBCU-esque joints) with a little twinge.

          • Val

            Yes. I’m very happy I did.

            • uNk

              Care to share?

      • panamajackson

        I wouldn’t allow a show designed to show the worst in folks color your opinion on BGLOs. I know a TON of Greeks and the vast majority of them are nowhere near as ridiculous as these women are in their daily lives. Homecoming parties? Different story. But that’s kind of the point of Homecoming…to act a damn fool.

        • true. i went to college in the early 2000s and i witnessed a lot of the same crap from sorors and frats during my college years. so to see something similar on the show makes me smh.

      • camilleblu

        oh…no hon…i know PLENTY of greeks…none of which act like those thots. don’t let this unreal reality show validate anything for you.

      • AlwaysCC

        reality tv =/= reality. there may be 1 or 2 exceptions, but i feel quite comfortable saying don’t base life decisions off of something you see on a reality show.

        • just for the record, i graduated college in 2005 and grad school in 2012 so it is a little late for me to think about the soror life now. i’m sure i could join a post-grad chapter but between managing work and family life that would be a bit much for me to take on right now. if anything, the show really shows the ugly side of sorors/frats which, in reality, is something I didn’t want a part of….

          • dmcmillian72

            No, the show portrays rachet women who happen to be in Sororities. Those women don’t act that way because they are Deltas/AKAs/Zetas/SGRhos. They act that way because they are petty immature women. You’re going to find their ilk in every walk of life, Dear.

            • I get that. Petty, immature women exist all over. But I can only be honest about why I made the decision to stay away from it. Unfortunately, I saw most of that behavior in college, which is why I made the decision not to join a soror back then. I am sure it is much different now. As I mentioned up thread, I should have joined a grad chapter.

    • panamajackson

      Yeah, I can’t see how any positives of this show will surface. I already hate nearly every chick on the show. They’re all so ridiculous. I’m sure they’ll help each other out a time or two. And we might see one or two doing some community service, but let’s be real, if it was going to be drama free and uplifiting, it wouldn’t be on VH1 following motherf*cking LHH. This is going to be a trainwreck.

      • camilleblu

        lissen…that one chicks sideways half-a-hair hat had me so dayum distracted. and why were they all immediately on 10 for everythang…shyt!

    • PunchDrunkLove

      I won’t be watching Bye Felicia” either. I think that’s the name of the show. We’re getting into ridiculous territory

    • Rachmo

      BAPS #neverforget

    • b sweet

      those girls skated on paper planes, trust me. No one who truly earned her letters and is respected by her chapter/sorors would do something so stupid.

    • uNk

      Yea the Ks and Redz(Deltas) are boycotting that show something serious….

    • Agatha Guilluame

      You made me watch it. And my eyes kept sliding off the t.v. Is it weird that one of my biggest gripes is that the AKA’s aren’t prettier? Are AKA’s no longer pretty?

      • BreezyX2

        Cami outchea giving bad advise. Now I can’t stop thinking about home girl saying that she was a part of the Burlesque circuit in Atlanta. I think she meant she is a stripper but that’s just me.

        • camilleblu

          lol…ya’ll aint gon put this foolishness on me. talmbout EYE gave bad advice. i told y’all it was #turrible.

      • camilleblu

        umm…see my response to bee below. heffa. -_-

      • Rachmo

        That upset me as well. i’ve grown up surrounded by AKAs and am used to them being a lot prettier.

  • Nicholas Peters

    So we are just going to pretend Sorority Sisters didn’t happen?

    • Guest

      Yes.

    • camilleblu

      absofuckinlutely

      • Mika

        +1000000

    • I lasted two minutes. That’s not what she said.

    • PunchDrunkLove

      I saw about 5 minutes and turned. I thought soros were boughie and stuff? LOLOL They seemed ghetto fab (I wrote that with emphasis) and a wig shy of hoodratdom. I turned….in a hurry.

      I know a few soros, related to a few and they are misrepresenting the women I know.

      • panamajackson

        Don’t get it twisted, there are definitely a large number of ghetto fab women in sororities. However, there are also a vast number of women who aren’t anything like that. That’s the problem. They crafted a show intended to highlight the orgs as the centerpiece by taking the most ridic versions of folks.

        Also, why are there so many Deltas?

        • PunchDrunkLove

          Trust, I know….just not televised…..who left the gate open? lol Seriously, I turned after about watching for a few minutes.

        • camilleblu

          Also, why are there so many Deltas?

          cuz champ hates them

        • Reemo

          Cuz there are a boatload of them in real life

        • Sigma_Since 93

          50 is a minimum number for a line at any school.

        • DBoySlim

          There are always so many Deltas

      • SimplePseudonym

        One of the saddest/funniest/most annoying things to me is seeing a ghetto-fab woman want and try to be boughie. THAT was “Sorority Sisters.”

        • PunchDrunkLove

          Exactly….and that was the point that I was making. The soros I know, are known for being boughie. None are known for ghetto fab. Whhhy a sect of women want to be on television representing or “misrepresenting”, I should say is beyond me. I know everybody ain’t boughie that’s about that greek like, but ummm, yeah the cast members are ghetto as all get out.

    • panamajackson

      You know. I watched it. And it’s pretty terrible. I even considered recapping it – but work is kicking my arse. Thing is, I know TONS of Deltas and AKAs. I know a few Zetas and can’t say that I actively know a single member of SGRho. I can’t imagine that any of them are happy about this show.

      Not because they don’t want to see their orgs repped on television. It’s just that we know the point. The point of this show is going to be to show how ridiculous these women are and the only tie that binds them is their sorority.

      With the other reality shows, you activley have attention whores and celebs whose lives are fishbowled anyway. This is a bit different. You have organizaitons who are being represented by these ridiculous broads, especially taht Adrene chick who i HATE WITH THE PASSION OF MEL GIBSON. It’s a weird idea for a show and I’m slightly surprised that these women signed on for it if they weren’t all so ridiculous to begin with.

      It’s a bunch of ridiculous women who happen to be Greek, so they’re like, hey, let’s paint it as a Sorority show. and that’s just not quite how I’m sure most of these orgs want to be represented.

      With that being said, I’m sure there will be much commentary about the show on this site. I just have a ton of work to do. But I think that all the commentary could probably be done in one post as opposed to recapping.

      Ridiculous women who happen to be Greek do ridiculous sh*t on TV. Greek chicks nationwide hate them. The end.

    • yes, and that orange (gold?) eye shadow Adrene had on.

      • Mika

        #dead

      • Nicholas Peters

        I didn’t get to that…I was stuck on the fact that at least 4 or 5 women who were in their mid30s+ were running aorund like they were 19..w

        with a collection of women in their late 20s who seem to have no job or idea of where they are going with their life

        • Lucky you because the orange eye shadow was really a distraction. And Adrene is a really pretty girl, too!

          Obviously, these women have too much time on their hands.

    • I am not a memeber of any org, but I was embarrassed for them. That was beyond trash!

    • ??Jessica??

      YUP!!!!!!! And I’m gonna get mad as shit at any1 who metions it….. #youvebeenwarned

    • The show with the chick who has the Chubaka weave?

      Yeh…

    • pls

      I heard about this show last night. I can’t imagine anyone that actually was on line and lettered in an org is a part of that show. they are either fake sorors, or their chapters are “paper.” I’m gonna watch online tonight tho

  • I actually watched cuz I hate myself and I just had a bunch of questions

    1. How did a professional athlete think it was good idea to name his baby girl Diamond Strawberry
    2. Why did Massachusetts wear a tux to the club and a camo shirt to his wedding
    3. Where was Peter Gunz BM’s furniture and where did he get haircut money
    4. Why did Yandy have that umbrella
    5. Whos this fake Heidi Fliess and where’s the Chrissy with the mole
    6. So Bow Wow was hooked off of a kiss on 106…is Erica Mena Poison Ivy

    • camilleblu

      good dayum questions trizzy

      *waits for sway*

    • 1. How did a professional athlete think it was good idea to name his baby girl Diamond Strawberry

      *In Benzino’s voice* That’s that coke.

      Massapequa’s camo shirt was on some urban Duck Dynasty ish.

      I like Chrissy with the mole…

      • Andrea

        Massapequa! Hilarious.

      • Melissa

        You people have me dyyyyying! I don’t understand either how they can’t come through with a Pottery Barn Gift Card for Tara. Yandy probably had that umbrella because they probably were on Take 34 of her being surprised by Mendeecees and the jet stream changed direction and sh*t. One thing though…will no one think of Margie? That poor freakin’ dog is being subjected to literal clown sh*t.

        Keep it coming, please?! :)

        http://static.businessinsider.com/image/4fd231cfeab8ea7529000013/image.jpg

      • ??Jessica??

        I think they got their on show on VH1 at one point. She was the realest! I like her too

    • SororSalsa

      1. Cocaine is a helluva drug.

      • ??Jessica??

        I feel like that was the name of the stripper who had to cut her lap dance short cuz he got a call saying that his daughter was being born!

        • SororSalsa

          Dead.

    • Agatha Guilluame

      5. Chrissy and Jim Jones got a spinoff. It’s 3 seasons in at this point. The question is…when’s that coming back.

    • shayna

      Awesome!! This is the best show commentary on the web…Massachusets ahahahah

  • I clicked on that link (Pawn Rite) and just sighed…..

    • mikster

      waving**** hey boo!! lol

  • “daughter of the legendary baseball player, who inexplicably left her kid behind to pursue a career in the back pages of King Magazine”

    can we talk about this for a second? i’m sure her career is important and all but – let’s be serious – she left her daughter in california to pursue this relationship with Cisco. I was (and still am) EXTREMELY bothered by that. If I had a nickel for the amount of times I said, “But she left her daughter in Cali for that dude,” during last night’s episode, I’d be a millionaire. Sorry, but not sorry, there is no d that good in the world that is going to make me leave my child behind.

    • panamajackson

      The lesson here, as always, never trust a chick named Diamond Strawberry to make smart choices. Her parents basically set her up for the life fail from jump.

    • And everyone in her life was just cool with her Jax Tellering her kid

      • exactly! at least sis tried to sit her down and talk some sense into her.

    • dmcmillian72

      Giiiirl! RIGHT! And her Mom was okay with this?! Because it looked TO ME like Diamond was packing up and moving across country FROM HER PARENTS’ HOUSE…leaving her daughter behind…to be with a Dude who NEVER SAID HE WANTED HER TO COME OUT THERE. 0________0 #RecipeForDisaster …as we saw in the previews for the season.

      • Girl, yes! That would rip me up inside! At least the big sis tried to reason with her but it was just not happening…

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