Well it’s another day, another dollar, back up in the heezy baby. And our favorite nincompoops out in Hollywood are up to their usual shenaniganery.
So let’s get down to business, bitches. On this last episode of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood, there really are only like two things I can remember, which is sad because I haven’t had a drink in almost a month and I haven’t partooketh of any other memory reduction agents, so this just tells me that…
…Wu Tang Clan ain’t nothing to fuck with!
So let’s start with my favorite good father, Fizz, and his hot as hell insane baby muva, #baeMoniece. So Fizz and Moniece seem to be on the good foot lately since Rich Dollaz has come into Mo’s life. Maybe she’s talking to her mother more and stepping up with Kameron a bit more. Who knows why? But Fizz is happy. And if you’ll remember, he asked his plastique boo to be in his video for his song, “Good Lotion” and she was like, “naw, I’m too busy to devote like 2 hours to you”. So Fizz did what anybody on a reality show would do, he goes to his ex-boo Moniece and asks her to be in his video. To him, they’d be doing one another a solid. It’s not a bad idea, just an interesting one.
Turns out though, since he and Moniece have been doing well with the co-parenting, she’s starting to catch flashbacks. She’s remembering the days – apparently – before the po-pop were showing up at their residences and before judges were involved. To be fair, this isn’t super strange or uncommon. Who doesn’t want to live out that happy family life that we’re all promised when we first start watching Disney movies? So what if half of us haven’t lived in the same home with both of our parents at the same time since we were 2. WE ALL WANT IT DAMMIT!
Anyway, Moniece goes off to meet with TMurdaWhereYouAt? who is pissed that she got kicked out of her own fashion show which is a legit gripe. So she’s planning on some type of revenge plot. Moniece also tells Teairra that she thinks she’s in love with Fizz again. Teairra applies the requisite screw face and asks what she intends to do about this and Moniece cops to just feeling so confrused. Poor Mo.
Fast forward to the video shoot for this song that most of us will never hear. They playfully keke it up in the video and then Moniece tells Fizz that she has something she’d like to talk to him about, which of course is the last thing any person, place, or thing ever wants to hear. She then proceeds to basically hit Fizz with Total’s song “What About Us”. (When was the last time you heard this song? It’s been a while right?)
For the classic R&Bist in you, we can pretend she was more on the “Anytime” wave.
Anyway, Fizz, who wins more and more points with me as it relates to this father hood game, basically tells Moniece that he really likes where they are as friends and co-parents. That’s where he’d like to stay. And he thinks that’s whats in the best interest for their son. Gotdammit Fizz. It’s like my man took a class on rebuttals and aced that shit with all the ONE HUNNIDSSSSSSSSSSSS.
And Fizz would have had ALL of my respect if the FIRST MOTHERFUCKER HE DECIDED TO TELL about this convo with Moniece wasn’t his fake boo Nikki who somehow couldn’t be in the video, but managed to show up to the damn shoot anyway. Fizz just had to tell SOMEBODY. Unfortunately that somebody is the one person who never saw anybody else’s business that she wasn’t ready to jump into for no good reason. Foreshadowing? Foreshadowing to the previews for next week where Richie D and Nikki (who I guess know one another?) sit down and she tells him that Mo wants that old thang back. Take your time young man. Don’t you rush to get old. And don’t tell Nikki shit. Darling Nikki.
Ray wants Princess back. Le yawn.
Let’s just get to the one other part of the show I actually remember.
So Milan, Nikki, Princess, and Hazel are preparing for the fashion show and then I guess Hazel gets a text from Teairra like, “see you soon biznitch” or something. I’m paraphrasing. Hazel gets her panties in a bunch and actually BAILS on them niggas. WHO DOES THAT on a show they’re coordinating. Hazel wanted no parts of anything Teairra was bringing. Which was kind of odd to me. Hazel talks big shit but just tucked her tail and bounced. I imagine she’ll pay for that somewhere down the line. I mean who would want to work with her after that? It ain’t like she’s pulling in big name clients.
The show must go on as they say, so they all get their stuff together and get the runway working. Then out of nowhere, Teairra shows up with a gang of models and storms the runway and has her models walk. She then gets on the microphone and I believe says something to the effect of not wanting to have done that but because of the situation she did what to do, to which Princess grabs the mic and goes off on her. Basically, this fashion show is EXACTLY what you’d expect it to be considering the people involved.
I’m guessing a few days later, Teairra and Moniece meet up with Milan, Princess, and Nikki to talk about how disrespectful it was for Teairra to crash the show, though again, SHE WAS ONE OF THE ORIGINALS FOR IT. Of course Princess gets into it with Teairra and Moniece because Princess feels like Teairra is just disrespectful. I can’t lie, I sort of zoned out at this point. It matters not, that’s really all I remember from that episode anyway.
Next week: Richie D goes Moniece on Moniece!