Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Ep. 7 Recap: Why Is Ray J Still Here? » VSB

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Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Ep. 7 Recap: Why Is Ray J Still Here?

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Better late than never. But never late is better. But who gives a shit. It’s time for a recap of the shenangans courtesy of your favorite cast of misfits strolling the mean streets of Hollywood, CA.

Nearly everybody makes apperances this week: Ray J, Berg, Hazel E, Teirra Mari aka TMurda, Apryl + Omarion + TMI, Omarion’s mother with some amazing clarity, Masika and her lips, and Soulja Boy and Teddy Riley chat with Nia.

Let’s focus on Ray J for a moment because RRS-ONE came thru like gangbusters on this episode in terms of his Shenanigans Quotient. He’s been slacking on his macking. Now is as good a time as ever to point out something I never thought I’d say: I’m so over Ray J at this point. Which is saying something considering he’s the reason I was at all interested in this version of Love & Hip Hop. I truly wouldn’t give a shit if Ray J never made an appearance again. He’s a bitch. He’s petty. He’s got waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much pride. Everybody who tries to be there for him and help him is met with the greatest wall China never built. For instance…Ray J, while doing his ever amazing mental gymnastics blames Yesi for his having to fire Morgan. In his mind, Morgan would be his little do-girl if other folks would just stay out of his way. But Yesi exerted mind control over Morgan so Ray does what Ray does…he rolls up into the radio station and attempts to argue with Yesi.

For the record, rolling into a privately-owned entity is never a good idea. It’s a worse idea if you’re Ray J and you have zero chill and think the world actually does revolve around you. They argue. Ray J gets carried out by security. Interestingly, the terrible people at VH1 tried to make it feel like that was the incident that got Ray hemmed up by the police this past summer and it wasn’t. Ray did kick out a police car window because of course he did. He needs help. Everybody wants him to get help. Ray says, “fuck yo’ fort, cuz.” Ray literally blames EVERYBODY else for his fuckups. Nothing is his fault. Not. One. Thing. Even his acknowledgement of fucking up is tempered with the fact that its because of others actions. What a dolt.

Teairra Mari decides (based on the advice of Ray’s business manager – seriously, everybody around Ray J is a bad choice factory) to go see about Ray J because she still cares (understandable) and is worried about him because he seems to have lost his mind. Ray does Ray things and makes her feel stupid for even being there. He basically tells her she was just a chick he was seeing when he was seeing her. Yo, in the realm of worst shit you can ever hear, that has to be it. Nothing hurts worse than hearing somebody reduce you to a sideshow. Clearly she wasn’t, but Ray is off that sauce and is going out of his way to be a dickhead. I felt bad for her and given her propensity for Optimal Paw Placeage on folks, I’ll give her a solid 9 for showing restraint.

Point is, I now hate Ray J.

Let’s talk about Omarion and his penis. Pause. Eh, pause again for good measure. It is (was) uncircumcised. How do I know this? Because Apryl points it out while talking about getting their son circumcised and the sex they have that hurts her because it isn’t…which is something I didn’t know. I had no idea that turtleneck dudes brought the pain. The more you known. *ding* Anybody care to discuss this? Of course you do. Point is, I did not need to know ANY OF THAT SHIT.

Anyway, they’re talking about his momma (again) and how he wants his mother to apologize which is a lot like asking for an ice cube in hell. Momma shows up and ice cubes. Hell. She is like “naw, bitch I said naw.” But then in a move that nobody sees coming, she actually shows some humanity and clarity of thought in terms of why she doesn’t feel like Apryl is ready. I still don’t like this woman. But they hug it out (bitch) and in an amazing twist, Apryl invites her to be there at the birthing of their son…something she told Omarion to tell his mother she couldn’t do THAT he told his mother she could’nt do. Chicks yo…you put my man in a terrible spot THEN go undo it? So he’s the bad guy. Granted, Apryl and Leslie need a healing but still.

Aight..let’s see…Nia is ready for Soulja Boy to meet her dad since they’re finna move in and what not and henceforth. Turns out, aside from I’m guessing Cam’s father…I hope, Mr. New Jack Swing hasn’t ever met another dude…odd since these niggas been dating for like 8 years, which means since Soulja Boy was 16. Off and on. Now I’m no expert but I read a lil bit. Soulja Boy has been linked to and dated any number of women to include Kat Stacks. Their “offs” must have been significant as shit. Of course, she also had a kid on one of their offs too so I guess samesies. Anyway, Soulja Boy meets Mr. Blackstreet and they talk and was it me or was Soulja Boy sounding amazingly…articulate. He’s not the most well spoken fellow on the planet but he definitely had subject-verb agreement going on and was speaking clearly and deliberately. Kind of impressed me. I think I just experienced whiteness for a moment. They talk, Soulja says what he needs to and does seem genuine though we all know this man’s life is a party non-stop. But he gets “look the part despite a face full of tattoos” points. Teddy told him to show and prove. DeAndre alleges to be willing to do so.

Yo…let me say right now how I’m really missing My Bae Moniece. I’m having Moniece withdrawals. Moving on.

Berg is working with Teairra and seems to think he can take her to the top of the charts. We all know this is a lie, but what is artistry without idealism, ya know? He starts flirting and I feel like he’s two seconds from asking if there’s anymore room in her jeans. He touches her leg and starts talking that pimp talk. She seems unphased. For whats its worth, the song didn’t sound terrible. Just not good. Or not like anything that’s truly going to change the game. Then I remembered, written and produced by Yung Berg and sung by Teairra Mari. Silly of me to have expectations. Free Meeshie, ho. Cut to Hazel spitting these DUMB ass lyrics at the studio where Masika hears them and is like, “this bitch is crazy”. It’s an ode to Yung Berg. Of course, he’s going to be excited to hear it.

Of course he is.

Wonder what happened.

Berg and Hazel meet up in a car (I’m not sure whose car this was, maybe the producers just made “car” a location shoot)…anyway, she plays the song, Berg is like what the fuck is this bullshit. Stop lying to yourself. You’re not my bitch. (His words, not mine). This amazingly seems to hit Hazel E like a ton of bricks. Even if you TRY to feel sorry for her, the delusion she exhibits is “NIH Grant in the Psychology of Delusion” worthy. I swear this chick has a Berg Block in her head that translates all of his clear statements into those of love and admiration. Nothing else explains her fuckery. For the first time though, Yung Berg Da Gawd (he stole Ray’s title), starts to show kinks in the “Just keeping it real” armor and starts being…petty and childish. Berg was so trill with it before, being on the up and up and straight talk. She tries to jump across the car, security jumps in. He gets out of the car and dumps her purse out then walks off. Again…WHOSE CAR IS THIS THAT THEY’RE IN????? They just gon’ leave it? Seriously, tho, why would she think that making a song ABOUT HIM would be smart. This is not a smart woman. He also plays her life by telling (the truth) the audience (us) that while they were fucking, it made some sense to try to make her a star. Now that they’re not, he’s calling it for what it is, she’s got less talent than Lil Wayne has worries.

Next week: Fizz and Amanda take a break. Amanda and My Bae Moniece meet up and Moniece begins what looks to be a slow walk towards murdering Amanda. Damn, I love that woman.

Oh, and more shit happens.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • I LIVE for these recaps.

    • amina

      Me too. I could only sit through one episode of the show, but these recaps make the tomfoolery palatable.

      • Keisha

        I agree! :-)

      • CrayolaGirl

        I haven’t watched one second but I had a lively conversation with someone who does. All my info was based solely off Panama’s recaps!

    • Paradigm

      My TV’s been broke for almost 3wks.. Waiting on part so I can try to fix it.. So yeah these recaps have been solid..

    • Angel Baby

      LOL agreed! I don’t watch the show but PJ’s recaps are so entertaining I can’t be missing anything else. LOL

    • Nubia Ma’Belle

      Man! I haven’t watched a reality show since the second season of the orginal Basketball Wives season 2, and I log off FB when everyone is watching, then wait for this recap because they don’t give me headaches and I get to sound cool with my friends who can actually stomach the show lol.

  • Wild Cougar

    Teairra Mari got tricked into visiting RayJ and saying she cares about him because RayJ’s manager knew full well Ray was gonna be an azz to her and that would result in drama. That was a set up.

    That whole bs about non circumcised because it’s too big, you gotta be stupid to believe that. That’s some Omarion propaganda. He probably got it done for hygiene or something and cooked up this size issue. That convo was too contrived. It wasn’t even a natural conversation to be having in front of the cameras considering how normal their convos usually are. And Omarion needs practice telling his mother no.

    Berg carefully spaced out and chose his words to have the most effect and was rubbing his hands together when she tried to hit him. Did you see the grin on his face? He actually called TMari his “boo” knowing good and well she wasn’t feeling him like that. And “I believe in her more than I believe in you?” Yeah, Berg is one of those dudes who like to play “real” but what they really want is to seem real while they provoke women to act out. How was security there so fast? Hm? This acting out is an ego boost and makes them look sane in comparison. You saw “provoking a woman into acting crazy so you look like the D must be bomb 101” in that car. I’ve been with guys like that. They get mad when they drop their little provocation bombs and don’t get the drama they keep complaining so loudly about.

    • panamajackson

      Yeah, for once I agree with you on Berg. He lamed all the way out on Monday’s episode. I was truly disappointed in him.

    • Men actively seek out loud confrontations with women?? For what?

      • Wild Cougar

        It took me a couple years to get it sorted out. Here’s the racket. The man gets with the woman. He will wine, dine, and romance her. He’ll make little hints that he’s catching feelings. He’ll let her get the idea this is going somewhere. Step one of the set up.

        Then he will go ghost. Stop answering. Invite her to be someplace and not show up. Make sure she expects something and gets something else. He gotta lead her far enough in to trust him before he does that because otherwise he’s not gonna get a reaction. So when she asks him why the disappearing act he will immediately say “Why are you sweating me, you’re not my woman, you and me are nothing, you are delusional”.

        She’s gonna get mad at this point because it was a set up to drop her on her a$$ and make her look stupid. She might act out in an angry manner at this. Then he’s got her. She’s acting “crazy”. At this point he needs to bounce, because she’s dangling on the end of a string wanting an explanation. If he drags her around on the string he can squeeze more crazy out of her.

        Now she’s gonna call him a number of times and text him to get an explanation. With this, he can complain to other people that this crazy woman is chasing him and she won’t leave him alone. She’s addicted to his D. If he drags her along on the string long enough, he’s gotta feed her a little encouragement, give her the D once in a while, agree to meet and talk, what have you, he might have a “crazy for his D” stalker to brag to his boys about indefinitely. But he’s gonna always be careful to say “you know what this is, or we’re friends so he can claim he was upfront.

        This game adds to his appeal with women and generally pumps his ego up.

        • Meridian

          Dudes like that are exceptionally toxic. It always feels so slimey and disgusting when you’re aware that’s what someone is doing to you. There are more ways and better ways to be important to someone. To intentionally create strife within another human being is a sickness. It’s also a sickness to stick around for something that is the source of so much angst.

        • Rachmo

          This sounds like a Tyler Perry movie.

          • LadyIbaka

            Girl, stop.

            A Tyler Perry movie is not filled with all these string alongs, complexities if you will.

            If this were one of his movies God would have interceded and they would have ended up happily married.

            • Rachmo

              Maybe a Zane novel?

              • kidvideo

                If ur into Zane, u should check out Walter Mosley’s
                “Killing Johnny Fry”…well written erotica.

        • When I think that being single is somehow not all that appealing, I am reminded that people are manipulative as fck and will ruin your life “just because”.

          • Wild Cougar

            I’ve developed a couple of tricks to avoid the dudes that do this. When they say I’m really busy, I tell them they are probably too busy for me, I’m gonna move one. And the split second after they mention another woman they are seeing, I drop the relationship like its a grenade. This only works on the less intelligent ones, tho. They telegraph their game by setting up their exit stories ahead of time.

          • Asiyah

            Same here, boo!

        • Yet Another Lurker

          You. Are. Amazing.

          PLEASE tell the truth. I had an encounter like this with a guy I was only talking to in college. He wouldn’t call back and I simply asked him why. He he said, “You acting like we together or something”. I told him all I did was ask a simple question but if that’s too much for you that’s okay. We don’t have to talk like that anymore, we can move on. And I did, starting seeing other people. Didn’t call him or anything. Then he would try to check me about guys I was seeing. I thought he unexpectedly caught feelings so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and would listen. See if there was anything I did wrong that I missed. Then I started noticing he’d only asked me about these guys in public. He made sure he got loud and a lot of people were around.

          I learned that he was just looking for ways to get an angry reaction from me. Talking things out in a calm demeanor wasn’t enough to show I cared. He needed me to get mad, loud and argue. I wouldn’t give him that type of reaction because honestly, I don’t yell just for the sake of doing so. My entire family is like that so the yelling over nothing was foreign to me.

          He even went so far as to call me a bitch in public. Loudly. Every. Day. He made sure there were lots of people around when he did it too. He did this for about 2 weeks straight. One of the most degrading and humiliating things I’ve ever had to deal with. People would asked me “girl, you gon let him talk to you like that?”. I wanted to react but I thought he was crazy. No telling what would set him off. It hurt that people just assumed I must have done something or I should’ve been wildin’ out. But if I would’ve wild out, I would’ve been the crazy girl. It would’ve been on me. I figured my best bet was to not react, live normally and ignore him even though I was afraid.

          Eventually it calmed down after people started noticing I wasn’t reacting at all. People actually started clowning him for “being stuck on one chick”. I made sure I burned any red flags I may have missed in my head. If the next guy started exhibiting an inkling of that behavior, I cut it off completely. Never dealt with a situation like that again.

          Thank you so much for putting this out there. I feel like a lot of men have no idea how many guys like this are actually out there. Besides being sick, it’s pretty damn terrifying.

      • They want the validation that they’re important. It’s the male version of “let’s you and him fight”. The older I get, the less I see relationship fvckshit being a gendered phenomenon. Men and women do 90%of the same dumb stuff for the same dumb reasons, with the other 10% being limited by biology.

        • Meridian

          I don’t see how that makes him important. It’s not so much the guy a woman chases as it is clarity she’s seeking. I think dudes tend to be delusional about what the woman considers important in that scenario. A lot of times you don’t actually care about him you just cater to the feelings you think he’s struggling to express. It’s frustrating. Then they use it as a boost. It’s almost laughably desperate that’s the only thing you have to be relevant in someone’s eyes.

          • Wild Cougar

            I think they know its clarity she’s after, but its the being chased and brag/complaining about being chased that gets addictive

            • Exactly. It’s not healthy but people do it all the time.

              • Meridian

                Which is a shame. No one should be that content inviting such aggressive, negative attention to themselves and then making it seem like a good thing.

              • I grew up around Marriage Counselors lol.

                I don’t know how many people achieve this ideal of a healthy relationship, especially over a period of time. I tend to feel people just work their sh*t out, and a lot of times it’s ugly if you’re the one looking from the outside in. Also, sometimes I remember that some of the best friends I ever had, were guys that I actually punched in the face or vice versa when I was younger.

            • Meridian

              That’s stupid. I’m stressed just thinking about it. It’s like when someone stammers or has a hard time speaking, and you’re on edge like “What?! What is it?!” If a dude wanted something or had something to say he would come to you and do so. At some point you just have to write them off as too insignificant to comprehend. Any man who is worth anything doesn’t have time to be creating such contentious situations in his life. No woman should spend her time chasing something so vague and elusive.

              • Freebird

                “Any man who is worth anything doesn’t have time to be creating such contentious situations in his life. ”

                Say it again….

              • Asiyah

                It is stupid, and that’s one of the reasons why I surrendered, threw in the towel, hung my hat, all that jazz. I am so tired of this stupidity.

                • Meridian

                  I think that’s the genuine reaction to such a dynamic. I think women entertain it because they initially take you seriously and just figure the signals are crossed or something. After a certain point though? No one is dealing with all that. You just toss it to the side and go about your life.

        • People generally want to know that passion still exists in a relationship, which in this case is just a strong emotion. If a guy or girl knows they can get under your skin, or make you feel some kind of ecstasy, they’re given a sense of security that they still got you. People in good and bad relationships do this, my parents do this to some degree and they’ve been married for near 30+ years, it’s really not that big a deal.

          We just live in a time period where people take themselves too seriously, and have little tolerance for annoying things when they feel vulnerable in relationships. That’s why we got all these relationship advice books by people, acting as though “relating” to people is a War-like activity.

          • Wild Cougar

            Boo, it would be that if it weren’t really an attempt to have someone dragging behind you to demean and use as your ego prop. When a man tells you to your face “you aren’t my girl” after he acted like you’re his girl, he’s not looking for passion in a relationship. He wants you under his foot cushioning the space between his tender heel and the asphalt.

            • Andrea

              Mental/verbal/emotional abuse sucks soooo bad. On so many levels. At least you can see Physical abuse.

              • Wild Cougar

                girl…….when you got bruises on your face, most of your friends and family are ready to beat the life out of him. When you get caught up in one of these traps, only thing people want to say to you is dumb bish you already knew what it was, you a yamp, bird, hoe, jump, you have no self worth, you deserve that. And he’s the “realest”

                • Andrea

                  PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sugar PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            • Lol, that might be true. It is messed up and I know a lot of people have had that happen.

              But then again, I did say it happens in good or bad relationships. You can’t really control what other people do or how they play the game, you can only control what you choose to accept or reject. When you’re trying to contemplate and dig deep into the motivations and Machiavellian tactics that a person is using to exercise power over you, it’s quite easy to fall into a series of rationalizations, that might ultimately be wrong, and be nothing more than an act of projection.

              • Wild Cougar

                you were talking about having “little tolerance” and people taking themselves too seriously. It’s abuse. There should be no tolerance whatsoever.

                • It can be defined as abuse, just like when friends tease each other for their flaws when they know the person suffering from it is very self-conscious of them – but that has a lot to do with context and ones ability to tolerate things, or in this case abuse.

                  It ultimately does come down to whether the person is willing to accept it or not, the S.O. is going to do what they do if they don’t receive any consequences, either way.

                  And for the record, contrary to popular belief, a lot of people are illiterate when it comes to being in relationships. There’s no rule book for this thing.

                  • Wild Cougar

                    ooooooorrrrr they can have the decency not to abuse other people

      • Freebird

        men dont do this.

        • Wild Cougar

          The devil is a lie

          • Freebird

            the lie is the devil

            • Wild Cougar

              I need you to stop spreading thebs story that men are simple and upfront and don’t like drama. It’s that lie that allows women to get fooled into falling in these dang traps. I’ve seen it with mine own eyes several times. Tested it out to make sure it was what I thought it was. Men deliberately provoke drama to pump up their egos. Tell the truth and shame the devil.

              • Freebird

                im not disregarding your experience dealing with males. you know i find your old blog s exy as hell.

                but adult men secure in their desires dont need to lie to or create confrontations (to many things could go wrong) with you (plural you) cougar to get you into bed. people do for their own insecure reasons. hot s ex is not a hard things to get in 2014. i say this as a funny looking short guy. if their (real) long term goal is in fact not to be married (most dudes do when they are being honest), men are more often than not comfortable telling you they want to f uck. simply. maybe not that simply but clearly. too many women are out here acting like they are being tricked wc.

                most of us dont feel s lut shame. most men dont need women to agree with their desires. they dont need to trick you and they are comfortable – in fact i find they often encourage – women to deal with who they are and to either 1) ride with them on their own terms 2) decide you are not up for the ride height requirements and skate. in fact, you acting cool as you did in your scenario (especially if it was genuine and not the tale end of a game the lame dude started) is what most men who are not looking to settle down are out here looking for.

                by the way berg and ray j are horrible examples. them n iggas are clowns and i side EYE any woman who would share her va gina with them acting like she didnt know the sh it storm was brewing.

                • Wild Cougar

                  I think men really really need to believe that they are immune from drama and games and silliness. But you are really lying to yourself. This type of behavior is not a rare occurrence among men now, it is common. COMMON. You can talk to me till you are blue in the face about what men want and what they do. I’m telling you that I know better. Better than you. You read my blog, so consider me an expert on games men play AFTER they know they can get the nani. OK?

                  Sometimes I think men are floating in the river of denial on this issue, but then I know they know they are doing this and they are in a desperate panic to keep women from figuring out their last good trick.

                  Women don’t see it coming because yall try so hard to keep us from knowing. That’s why it’s called a game. If it was to be known from the beginning, then it wouldn’t be a game. It would be story time in kindergarten. It would be Simon Sez. Then yall want to side eye us for not knowing. You on some bullshid.

                  • Andrea

                    or/ and from the world seeing it like how folks are watching that harassment video on CNN.

                    • Wild Cougar

                      Exactly.

              • Freebird

                oh boy….i responded to this but i am in moderation.

                • Wild Cougar

                  I don’t know what you said but whatever it was I was gonna respond that you don’t know what men do when behind closed doors with women, you only know what they tell you they do. My experience is those two things are often different

                  • Freebird

                    fair enough.
                    women do this too. often. its not gender specific.

                    • Wild Cougar

                      Ain’t nobody on no gender specific steez so miss me with women do it too. Women have always admitted to mind games. Men are the ones denying, talking about I keeps it real. Lets just put sunshine on the ish.

                    • Freebird

                      games are what people play. and men often admit to playing games when they play them. thats why they used to call them playas. if there is a new term that stands in for playa now i am sure one of the young homies know.

                    • Andrea

                      I’m with ya sista. I love my friend Mike, but when I was very young he’s like 25 years older than me. He would talk to me about how he likes to tell women that they have lipstick on their teeth. He would say, “I love to take a pretty woman down with that one”.

                    • Freebird

                      so he admitted to you he plays games?

                    • Andrea

                      He was trying to teach me about subtle ways and techniques a lot of men will use to break down your self-esteem. And as he put it….”Make you weaker”

                    • Andrea

                      This one guy I saw in the club last week tries to come up with new tricks every time I see him. eg. He will criticize how many drinks I have had without knowing if I was even drinking at all. One time that got me to at least have a 3 minute convo with him.

                      Last week his strategy was to mention my teeth. (As if something was wrong with them possibly???) I looked at him so confused for a lil while. When he saw that I was basically going to ignore the ludicrousness of what he was clearly attempting to do. He hit me with the “Do you know who I am”.

                      I find guys a lot who seem to be working on passive aggressive ways to interact with you. Just TO interact! And interact negatively. He wants me to get Angry.

                    • Meridian

                      That seems so illogical to me. If you’re constantly undermining a woman or making her angry than she spends so much time in an agitated state she’s more prone to rejecting you. She’s angry so she’s fighting and lashing at you. You try to deal with her and get bombarded by a wave of hate. It seems so silly. A person who is upset with you is either going to deny you or fight you or argue with you and if you want something with her, whatever that something may be, there’s really no space for it to happen anymore.

                    • Andrea

                      If she has been blessed with the resources, tools, and the love needed to value herself. If she hasn’t already been broke down by ___________________.

                      I was a lot more susceptible to ________________ from anyone in my younger days. Age does wonders too. I think education helps too. Men who know my educational attainments often try to Mentally/Emotionally Big Joker me with wealth. Having had experience around wealth helps too. They run out of ammunition.

                    • Meridian

                      I think I do okay at picking and choosing. I entertain guys and it does take a toll on me dealing with bad seeds. I don’t really get involved with anyone who is doing too much from jump whether it be in a physical way or a relationship. This kind of behavior would turn me aaall the way off. I think as I get older the type of men I’m even willing to entertain will get tighter. Right now I’m pretty open minded so as long as you aren’t a douchelord.

                    • Andrea

                      That is dope!!!

                      My cousin is starting college next year and I wish I could like….write down and explain just all the weapons of trickery and f’kery I had to navigate myself. But some of it is almost too trickalicious to explain. Like being a Black person sitting on the set of the Chapelle show or Key&Peele. I think the best tool I have in my arsenal is probably just…lots of Love, sharing my experiences, and just listening. I’m so excited that I have lived through so Many experiences. That I can be a resource for her…in a way…my sister or mom couldn’t be for me……because of ___________ . And I’m gonna pray. A Lot.

                    • camilleblu

                      Lol….#lissen – all I got from this is: Some of this is too trickalicious. like being on the set of key & peele.

                      I am cracking up

                    • Andrea

                      lol….If I ever come out with a cologne or perfume. That is what it will be called.

                    • Meridian

                      lmaaoo. You definitely should. Mom dukes gave me a run down before I went off to college and I was a lot better off for it. She told me who to look out for, who to avoid, red flags, but she also told me what qualities in men make them good to deal with. It really does help to make better decisions where the opposite s*x is concerned.

                    • Andrea

                      I’m hoping my cuz will especially RECEIVE a lot of things I have to say……
                      Cause she knows…..I be in the club…..I’ve been on campus…..and a lot of other places….

                      And even because..was it Bunni who said, “some men dont mess with weaved up women with breast implants and bewty shots and caked up makeup applied all crooked and whatnot with too bright highlighter and badly coordinated foundation”.

                      I think she might REALLY be interested in hearing my “weaved up” “breast implants” “caked up makeup” “too bright highlighter” point of view. L.O.L.

              • IcePrincess

                They really do. Think they’re slick.

              • pls

                yes! i had to explain to my male friend that most times when a man calls a woman crazy, he made her that way. he’s caked up on the phone with the girl every night, courting her, and then to his homies talmbout “why she think i want a rship?”

                a man will look down on a woman for believing his lies, as if she is supposed to know after having just met him that he’s lying! it’s so flawed.

            • menajeanmaehightower

              I haven’t talked to you in forever. How’s everything going?

              • Rachmo
                • menajeanmaehightower

                  :-) This is why i keep quitting you.

              • Freebird

                queen mena! how goes everything? have you been taking care? i’d be disappointed if you said otherwise.

                • menajeanmaehightower

                  I am trying to but with the winter coming, i may go into full hermit mode. You?

                  • Freebird

                    it gets really cold where im at. i only come out for work. otherwise im doing well. thanks for asking.

      • Paradigm

        Not true just check the DSM-IV.. It’s coded under “Bitchassness”

    • PunchDrunkLove

      I don’t think Teairra May got tricked by Ray’s manager, I think she got the nudge she’d been wanting, just needed a reason. She was all hyped in saying they’d been together and maybe ole dude was on to something in getting her hopeful, telling her they had history. She wanted to do that anyway. She was disappointed he didn’t say nor react the way she thought.

      • Meridian

        I think she was in a good place and well on her way to moving on from it. She heard he was going through something and b/c of the history, she tried to be there for him. Dude told her everything she already felt knowing full well Ray J was out of it.

        • Wild Cougar

          I agree. She was moving on. Dude basically told her “he is falling apart because he needs you” That’s gonna get most any woman to go talk to a man she’s been involved with no matter how bad the break up.

          • Meridian

            I felt so bad for her. That could’ve been a great moment for them to smooth things over and end it on good terms but he was so intent on hurting her. She handled it well though, I give her that. That speaks to him too though. If you can’t come clean to a woman you were that involved with than you’re bound to spiral down. Then again, he can’t even be honest with himself so I wouldn’t expect him to be honest with anyone else.

        • PunchDrunkLove

          I don’t disagree that she was making an effort to move on, but let’s not forget a few weeks ago she was yamming about how she was not over him. As nothing as he is, I get that….I’m a woman, been there and also moved on for reasons other than no longer loving the person. In her monologue or whatever you call it, after listening to his manager she was hyped. She started reminiscing and recalling how great they were together, yada yada yada and decided “yeah you (Ray’s manager) are right, we were great!! Think I’ll pay him a visit.”

    • Asiyah

      “Yeah, Berg is one of those dudes who like to play “real” but what they
      really want is to seem real while they provoke women to act out.”

      Great point.

  • Lisa Harris

    I watched this episode! First time I ever watched this show. I’m not too good for reality TV, but on the ratchet meter this show is just off the charts and really hard to sit through. It makes me wonder how our civilization has survived with all this untreated mental illness walking around…

    I’m going to go out on a limb and call bullshit on the uncircumcised penis hurts thing. She just doesn’t like it, so she lied. And men know ziltch about how women work and will believe whatever we say. Especially if we spin a tale that makes your “member” sound like a monster.

    Ray J – I’m not sure why people talk to him. He’s an utter disaster and failing at life.

    From now on, I will not watch the show and just read your recaps. Much easier to digest.

    • I’ll call the peen issues 75% BS. There are particular shapes that a man can have that can cause issues. It’s not deadly, but it can limit the positions you can use. A frank discussion and some experimentation solves the other 25%.

      • Lisa Harris

        But she said nothing of the shape, did she? Just that the foreskin made it too big. Like he’d be just right if he got rid of that annoying foreskin. Which just doesn’t make any sense at all in my mind. Maybe she’s special…

  • Rachmo

    Moniece removing that jacket so calmly.and then snatching her hair. My body is ready.

    • panamajackson

      Man listen. I’m SO ready for my bae moniece and her moment in the sun.

      • Rachmo

        Bruh, I see what you’re saying. She is so beautiful and articulate and unstable and probably a bad person. And I want to have brunch with her. I felt like this episode was just prepping us for her to come back our world.

        • panamajackson

          She is everything and every woman I’ve ever dated wrapped up in a pretty lil bow of bad ass girl next doorism.

          • Rachmo

            Your dating life must be…interesting to say the least.

            • Meridian

              He’s getting the magnificent side eye. I couldn’t function in a relationship with so much muck. Moneice seems like a held together crazy though. She might be alright if you don’t provoke her.

            • panamajackson

              Listen. You have no idea.

              • Meridian

                *Makes a mental note to not offend the women in your life*

          • Lisa Harris

            Damn. I’m truly sorry to hear this….lol.

      • This is getting a little Hazel-E ish. LOL

        • Meridian

          Hey, you leave his feelings alone. Only real men admit their hearts are had. She’s totes into him, it’s possible.

          • I’m just saying, if Panama writes a 5,000 word piece proclaiming his love of all things Moniece in a vein similar to Hazel’s rap song…..

    • Meridian

      I was so impressed. It was just smooth as h*ll how she did it.

      • Rachmo

        BUT WHY DID AMANDA SIT THERE! When Moniece removed her jacket I would have started to run.

        • Meridian

          She sat there like there was a sudden heat wave to explain her undressing. That made it even funnier. Ma’am, gonna need you to realize you’ve got incoming paws. Smh.

          • Rachmo

            Not incoming paws baahahaha

          • camilleblu

            amanda ain’t built for life with a dude with a black baby mama, lol

            • Meridian

              She knows that too. I don’t know why she strings him along.

            • Agatha Guilluame

              BOL!

      • panamajackson

        Yo, that jacket/sweater take off was so smoove criminal. If Biggie’s “somebody’s gotta die” had started playing in teh background it would ahve been perfect.

        • Meridian

          I need her to have more screen time. It’s just interesting how she carries herself like a classy ratchet. I love it.

        • I just LOL’d so hard at this 4 people asked me what i was reading.

    • Neptunes presents The Clones

      Is this pronounced More – Niece ???/

  • MrsT

    Thanks for the recap, I’ve been looking forward to it. I’m also looking forward to the beat down Moniece is going to bestow on Amanda in the next episode (which is a horrible thing to acknowledge–the Lord’s not through with me yet). If for no other reason than being able to see a true sociopath at work. That chic is absolutely cray (your “Bae” or nah), did you see how calmly she removed her sweater while Amanda was talking?

    Ray J is an epic mess and Berg was an epic ass, just because.

    Also: “I think I just experienced whiteness for a moment.” and “NIH Grant in the Psychology of Delusion” = DEAD.

    Thanks again.

  • Amber

    I’ve only watched three episodes because of your recaps because this show is actually pretty sad…Hollywood is really the land of delusion for all of them. I was hoping that ray j’s shenanigans would bring some levity to the show but we are just watching an alcoholic or drug abuser who is in denial. I also never thought I would end up not hating Yung Berg after watching this show even though I think he’s still an arsehole.

  • Meridian

    I’m h*lla looking forward to Moneice snatching that chick up. It seems real mother hennish towards someone who’s fooling around with her child and I’m here for it.

    I was so caught off guard by the Omarion d*ck discussion. It would’ve been funny if I didn’t know what uncircumcised d*ck looks like. I felt like I was watching a discussion on how ugly his p*nis was and it was awkward, but okay. As much riding as his mom does you would think she’d notice she forgot that little detail. I still don’t like her. I don’t believe her. I’m here for conflict resolution and clarity though so hey. Good for them.

    Ray J is a douche. Alcohol makes you treat people super funny and you expect them to just be subjected to your bull. It becomes more important to you than they are and that’s exactly what happened there. He lashed out because he realized people were stepping away from his dysfunction. It’s sad. Instead of doing what’s best for him and everyone else he just expects them to fall in line with his clearly destructive behaviors. Like, care enough about yourself to be honest about yourself and get it together. Other people have to live with your actions too.

    • Though can I say Tierra Mari and Ray J seem like they deserve each other? They’re the celebrity version of that couple in your circle of friends that you know both of them are on that BS. Therefore, you can only feel so bad for whatever BS is happening to them because you know good and well they give as good as they get.

      • LadyIbaka

        Please stop using the term ‘celebrity’ where Ray J is concerned. Z-lister, disaster would suffice. Thanks in advance.

        Hateration Management Inc.

      • LadyIbaka

        Please stop using the term ‘celebrity’ where Ray J is concerned. Z-lister, disaster would suffice. Thanks in advance.

        Hateration Management Inc.

        • Lisa Harris

          Z-lister is perfect for him…lol! His mother must be so ashamed!

      • Meridian

        I agree. Their unhealthiness complements each other and they gel in that space. I don’t think one unhealthy person mistreating their partner excuses what’s done to them though. Like what he does to her isn’t excusable and neither is what she does. On an individual level, he needs to look at himself and his own issues and deal with them.

        • I’m not saying you just let people do whatever, but your patience is limited. It isn’t right but it is real.

    • Wild Cougar

      So that’s the alcohol making him act like that?
      *takes notes for later in case I get caught up with an addict*

      • Meridian

        Na. He’s inherently like that as a person but alcohol relaxes him enough to make him believe the way he goes about things is okay. It lubes him enough to do things he knows is wrong and out of line.

    • camilleblu

      you know…i love moneice just bc she is SO insanely calmly cray-cray. but short of it being in relation to an abuser of some sort, can’t no chick that doesn’t have custody of their child tell me that i can’t be around that child. cuz, it *seems* to me that amanda sees baby boy more than moniece does. and on that note – i can’t wait to see this foolery next week bc why in the world did amanda think it is a good idea to meet up with moneice AGAIN???

      • Meridian

        Moneice definitely has her issues but it seems that a lot of her not seeing her son is because she’s at such a personal low point at the moment. I don’t think she outright avoids him or neglects him, I think her circumstances make it hard and she thinks it’s best to get herself together first. They both seem to agree on that. Notice she gets curved when she does try to reach out.

        Word though. I’m curious to see how that went down exactly.

        • panamajackson

          Y’all should see her IG tho. It’s full of nothing but pictures of her and their son. I’m so confused.

          • Instagram Mommy FTW. Heck I can say that about my ex. Women are crazy self conscious about not having custody. Any woman who ODs on the mommy-and-me pics is a suspect mom.

            • Meridian

              Lol, eeeeh. Most women have a ton of pictures with and of their kids.

            • Wild Cougar

              What if she just misses her child.

              • Tony

                If she missed her child, she’d be doing more than possessively fighting and acting ratchet before the entire world to see. She’d work with the father towards joint custody. Pasting a bunch of pics of a son with whom you spend zero amount of time is not indicative of that.

                I hope the judge is watching, the judge that stripped her of custody. I hope the father gets with a black woman so she can beat her senseless. She has no interest in spending time with her son. She’s only interested in the son’s father, and being a wedge between him and the woman he spends time with.

                • Remember yall. This is still reality tv. Fizz says his relationship with moniece is so bad? Cant be that bad considering they work on the same show.

          • Meridian

            Just checked it out. I’m almost afraid to speculate for fear my empathy means buying into her crazy.

          • IcePrincess

            She a different person on da gram/meet her in person/I’m like where are all the purses/ thought you had 8 colors/ shawty yeen got nan

        • uNk

          Hmm, my only thing is that it seems she is trying to get herself together on a famous level instead of a stable level.
          Why not just get a cheap condo so you have a place to stay? Seems like she has the means to me, or maybe Im guessin’ lol

          • Meridian

            Maybe that makes her the most money. It doesn’t make sense to work crazy hours for a few dollars when you can do something else and potentially have a huge payout.

            • uNk

              hmm…this is true but if thats the case, theres still no reason to use that as “oh Im still at a personal low” as to why you can’t see your child like that
              I’m no parent though so let me chill

  • PunchDrunkLove

    Ray J – Why all the whining? I cannot. Really, just stop it! He’s delusional, lacks professionalism and respect for others. He’s nowhere near as relevant as he believes. He should know this…Brandy’s lil brother. Someone should cop a squat and give it to him straight…how his performance as a professional comes off. Well, that dude driving him tried to tell him it’s him, not everyone else. He’ll NEVER get traction as a professional at this rate.

    Berg – A bonafide mutt….plainly. I’m over him and his ability to keep it one hundred. NOT IMPRESSED. I can’t stomach a dude that seizes the opportunity to play up the mutt factor. Calls her a muppet?? C’mon!!! Just a little humanity? Why meet up with her? To drive home all that she’s not and what she was good for. He’s on one right now and taking it somewhere else.

    Teairra May….I KNEW this creepy crawler (Berg) was going to make a go at her. I knew it when he first decided to produce her song. He’s that dude where you better NEVER give up the drawers, because that’s all he knows. He knows nothing about love, interaction, respecting women…he’s not THAT DUDE, not cut from that cloth. She shouldn’t be flattered he’s making a play for her. I hope she is offended….lol To her credit she seemed like she expected him to make a move on her and deflected. For that, I’ll raise her 5 points

    Omarion, ummm not circumcised? I can’t do nothing with that….nuuuthin. Get snipped, please

    Lil Fizz….bringing too much heat. His girl might not be on the up and up, but spazzing out ain’t cool. He should realize it’s her perogative to not want to be a mom to his kid, motive or not. Respect that and move on. That’s not necessarily bad for either of them, but clearly she’s not ready.

    • panamajackson

      Correction. He met up with her b/c on the last episode he told her to get to her business. They still had music to finish. She was playing him a song she wrote to the music he created…on the business end.

      • PunchDrunkLove

        Well, yeah that. I’m thinking a means to an end….when it comes to him. Leaning on the thigh and mentioning her breasts???

        • Wild Cougar

          Whats with the hypnotic bresteses tho? We all got that and can put them out there, but do men really get all twiterpated at the sight of some cleavage, fo real?

          • uNk

            I believe its all in the proximity…

          • PunchDrunkLove

            Berg is NOT a man. He only knows the role he plays and that’s taking women down. Big t!ts, lil t!ts, t&a, whatevs

            If a record deals comes from their working together, great, but I believe his intent has always been to smash. Now that he’s done with Hazel (cause she couldn’t stay in her lane), he’s gazing at Teairra May’s t!ts and leaning on her thighs. If he was innocent anywhere in all of this, he would avoid Hazel and her drama like the plague, but he doesn’t he lives to be on top. He shouldn’t feel special though considering the caliber of chicks he’s dealing with (that sounded boughie, but it is what it is) and as evidenced by the stiff lip chick sitting on his lap in next week’s episode. I have a feeling if he aimed higher he wouldn’t be quite the ladies man.

          • Tony

            r u sho ur a woman?

  • PunchDrunkLove

    Release my post please…thanks

  • LadyIbaka

    GHATDAMN!!!! Jammy Jams, if all else fails in life, give Mona Scott a ring and ask to be on her payroll to recap her foolishness. Now onto thoughts:

    1.) Ray is the epitome of the epitomest of short man disease, whose symptoms are and not limited to the following: shortness in height, leads to shortness in temper to make assertive where height couldn’t, which leads to delusions grandeur, especially in his case-he thinks his Z-list is entitled to something, I think they call it respect.

    2.) Hazel- I truly get it, Berg is the one who moves you like no other. But if that movement is not reciprocated, not even a shourr ourr on twitter, mama just find you another lil thug, one with more credit to his name. If Kim k made it, you too can. Don’t stop dreaming.

    3.) Uncircumcised dyck- I ain’t no doctor but extra skin ain’t what is making her hurt. Could be his very well endowed and is hard to handle, maybe she has the case that afflicts a lot of women, vagimitisomething (didn’t feel like googling), could be issues of not being lubricated enough…. But extra skin is not it, in my non medic opinion.

    4.) I truly miss Moniece and her fab brand of crazy.

    5.) Young Berg-He is the MVP. Continue displaying zero phakks. Continue acting like “nigga we-in your case I, made it” even though we ask made what exactly.

    • Just as a FYI, the term is vaginismus. It’s this condition that causes sudden clamping down down there. That can be managed though.

      • LadyIbaka

        Thanks Todd, of course you would know!! *wink wink*

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