Lil’ Fizz (Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)
While recapping episode 3 a few weeks ago, I said the following things regarding Lil’ Fizz:
He has all the sense it seems and has suggestions and solutions.
Either way, never in a thousand years did I think I’d utter the words, “you know what, I kind of fuck with this nigga Lil Fizz.”
Lies, yo. All lies.
I absolutely do not fuck with Lil’ Fizz anymore. Not even in a I think he’s a bad person way, just in a, what in Sam Hill is wrong with you way, b? NOW I totally get why Amanda is so skittish when it comes to the young B2Keynsian. Moniece may not be a great mother by any stretch (at least according to Fizz; I swear her Instagram indicates that she’s got their son Cameron like, everyday, maybe she’s upping old pictures and photoshopping them or something like the gubernatorial candidate from Pennsylvania’s campaign photos), but Fizz is starting to show some kinks in the armor on his end.
My man is pressed to get Amanda to play mommy. I don’t know if this nigga just needs a nanny and she’s cheaper than paying for one or he is just SUPER ready to settle down and she’s the one he’s with so he’s like, “you have a momma right? Yeah, do that for my son that doesn’t belong to you.” Never ever in my long legged life have I ever never ever seen a man SO pressed to get his son a new mommy. ESPECIALLY via a chick who has cheated on him before. Fizz and Omarion meet up to shoot the shit with shots and Fizz confides in Omarion that Amanda cheated which leads Omarion down the rational mantalk of, “so why do you trust this woman exactly to be mommy, et al.?”
While I know most of us watching were all in Camp Fizz because of his responsible nature when it comes to taking care of his son, my man is the polar opposite when it comes to handling things in his personal life. Like I said before, everyday with Fizz is like Opposite Day. We see what it looks like when a man puts the full court press on a woman who ain’t quite ready to be there and is REASONABLY like, “naw, bitch I said naw”…except she also cheated on him. And because Mona Scott-Young is the devil, she set up a dinner reservation in Miami for Amanda. But here’s that shit I don’t like…and maybe y’all can help me out here.
How many people in relationships listen to your voicemails…OUTLOUD with your boo? My guess is very few. Shit I leave my phone on vibrate and I don’t even have a boo. Ain’t no way in hell I’m gon’ listen to a voicemail outloud when I know I’ve fucked up before. First rule of being a better criminal, learn from your mistakes and improve on your fuckery. That shit was such a staged setup. You gon’ listen to a voicemail out loud that ends up being a message about a dinner reservation IN MIAMI that night, which is the home of the nigga you stepped out on Fizz with? Shit…she ain’t check the caller ID? I doubt a restaurant is blocking their number. I’m calling shenanigans.
Dumb shit yo. Also, Amanda got an apartment IN HER NAME for another dude to stay at when he was in town so he could smash those pumpkins? Fizz?
You an idiot, b. Plain and simple.
Moving on to other idiots, we have the fun and fancy free story of T Murda (Teairra Mari) and her non-existent music career. Word to the wise to all you up and coming artists out there: if you ever utter the words, “I think working with Yung Berg will give my career the push that I need” you have already lost before you started. Your career is officially somebody that you used to know.
So we have TMurda showing up to meet a chick named Miss Diddy and the nigga I love to hate, Sincere. Sincere reminds me of some promoters I know; extremely self-important with this belief that at any and all times, he’s doing you a favor. Now, in this case, he is doing TMurda a favor, but he goes overboard in letting her know how much he’s putting his neck on the line for her, which we call what? Class? Bueller?
Though Sincere does drop the line of all lines when speaking about why he’s doing this: “I got a soft spot for Teairra Mari. She got the titties and she got the eyes.”
Can’t say I don’t see his point. Sweater puppies do something to you…and in this case that something is make a bad decision. I’m sure Sincere is the man; I’m also sure that I hate this nigga.
Anyway, despite what I wrote about Teairra Mari and the career she should have had, she gets up on stage and sounds like how I envision a live performance by Ameriie would sound. You know, a lot of straining and looks of confusion as to why this was her chosen path when she coulda been a pilot, could have been a doctor, could have been a pimp or could have been a mobster. She could have been a mack, she could have been a dope boy. Homey, matter of fact? She could have been a motherfucking coke boy. But alas she’s a singer and she sang like her life depended on it. Shortest life ever, yo.
Teairra Mari, trying to keep shit on the up and up, puts it all in perspective like, “yeah, that wasn’t very good, but this is just the beginning and it gives me a chance to work out kinks and get my sea legs back.” That’s reasonable. EXCEPT you did it on the name of dude whose sole reason for being on the show is to be extra and tell her why she ain’t shit and that she’s fat and did a terrible job. Look, I know she did a terrible job. She knows she did a terrible job. She’s quick to anger, but in spurts, she does have common sense. But Sincere keeps poking the bear. Here’s another thing; constructive criticism, while hard to swallow, is usually received at least okay if it sounds genuine. The first time Sincere gave her criticisim she took it like a champ even though she clearly felt some type of way. This time, he just went in, somehow thinking he had the authority to be as much of a douche as possible. What happens next?
Survey Says: Teairra Mari attempts to put them paws on him. That could be the name of this show and it wouldn’t change shit about the storylines. Speaking of paws, only not at all, Morgan who is frustrated with Ray decides to take on a new gig at the bequest of Yesi, who is trying to be like, “Ladies First” and “Fly Like An Eagle” to Morgan. Morgan seems to be the Bad Decision Maven as well. Her and Fizz should date.
Anyway, they have this big Powerhouse event coming up and Ray is hosting, and niggas who are somebodies have assistants and she bails on him. While Ray generally peeves me, I kind of agree with him here. It ALSO sounds like she ain’t tell him ahead of time or at least didn’t tell him til she got there. Yesi tries to jump in and say, “don’t be mad at Morgan” be mad at me. Ray is like, “I DONT FUCK WITH YOU” (wait, that’s next episode), hmm…he actually goes in to “FDB” mode and tells Morgan that if she wants to spread her wings, then go spread her wings, but professionally speaking she’s dropping the ball (she is) and doesn’t have to assist him with shit ever again. She gets fired. Assisstants have to be a dime a dozen in LA, right? Of course, because Ray J didn’t earn his Ray J Da Gawd status by being Zeus’s son, the next episode he spazzes out on Yesi which is apparently where he caught that charge from back in May. My man Ray never lets me down.
But yeah, Morgan is never too far from a bad decision she doesn’t like.
Lastly, and least importantly, Nikki and Masika talk again because Nikki feels like women don’t lie on their p*ssy and wants to know if Mally is lying to her (duh). Masika is going to be the face of some clubs I’ll never go to and is in the middle of a photoshoot where she’s sitting in rhinestones (though she refers to them as diamonds, Nikki got that right) when Nikki shows up and asks what they did. Nikki realizes that Masika wasn’t lying when she mentions that Mally was pulling her hair – which is apparently his signature move in the sack. She and her mother then confront him, catch him in a lie and he does the only thing a man can do in a situation where there is literally no win: walks the fuck out. You lost. No salvaging the situation. Walk off into the sunset. Nikki throws flowers out of her front door. The symbolism. The metaphor. Not really. This is LHH. There is no symbolism.
Next week: Teddy Riley shows up. THE RETURN OF YUNG BERG. More shit happens.