Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

Love & Hip Hop and The Proposal

Beware, there are a lot of strong faces in this picture.

You know how women tend to map out their weddings? Even the most hardened, thugged out, stabbin’ ninja woman has some vision of her wedding. And the proposal? Yeah, they all have an idea of what they’d like it to look like. Sure reality and fantasy may never collide but the idea, the hope, is always there. And I’d bet double or nothing that Chrissy’s ideal proposal looked nothing like the pisspoor one that Jim Jones gave to her on the last episode of vh1’s academic and rigorously brain teasing show, Love & Hip-Hop.

If you know Black people. There’s a solid chance that 78.5% of them all watch Love & Hip-Hop every Monday night. That number includes 100% of video hoes as they all view the show as comeup central.

I’m half surprised that Jim didn’t just throw the box at her and say, “gotcha b*tch. Happy now?” I’m being hyperbolic but he didn’t even kneel down. And he tried to play this cool, detached, somewhat pissed role cum captain save-a-ho at the end with the sweet gangsta thing that went terribly wrong. And do you know why? It’s impossible to be hardcore when proposing to a woman. It’s one of the moments in a man’s life when he’s truly vulnerable. It’s like putting up a Christmas tree. It is completely ungangsta to put up a Christmas tree. You ever seen a jolly thug? Some random ninja with a Santa hat and a .45 tucked into his waistband while laying tinsel every so gently on a fir? Smiling? While sipping on some eggnog and eating oatmeal raisin cookies? Exactly. Let the thug go. Jimmy…couldn’t do it. He basically handed her a box, said “do you want to marry me?” and then feel proud of himself for giving her what she wanted. Except the whole time he didn’t even really look like he wanted to be there.

Except…she didn’t care because she’s been waiting for that ring for some seven years so she was just happy to get it. Except now what? Except, right. Which begs the question here, does the proposal matter that much?

I’m only asking because if you’ve been waiting for seven years (or three or four, or whenever she proposed to him) to the point that you keep grandstanding, talking about leaving and having your oddlyfaced friends help you pack up stuff from a house that you really don’t want to leave with a life you don’t want to give up, do you even care how he does it? Or are you just happy that he does it. And I’m inclined to believe that Jimmy wasn’t trying to give a dbag proposal. He just didn’t know how to pull off thugged out and vulnerable man at the same time. And real talk, calling it a dbag proposal might be overstating.

Which brings me to some more overstatements: Love & Hip-Hop is one ridiculous ass show. So Jim Jones proposal makes perfect sense. We have one of the most unattractive attractive women on the planet in Emily, a woman who’s been chasing Fabolous since before he could misspell it seems. And she just can’t get it right. Then there’s Olivia. Bless her heart. You may remember her…actually,  you probably don’t remember her at all. First she tried to get us to “Bizzounce” years ago and we didn’t. Then 50 Cent tried to convince us that she had star power…DURING HIS HEYDAY. Think about that. Even when 50 Cent was on TOP of the game he couldn’t convince us to care about her.

This from a man who made Tony Yayo relevant. Again, think about that. Kimbella, oh Kimbella. I’m sure she’s hot. I’m sure I don’t find her hot. Maybe its because she annoys me so much. Though not as much as Teairra Mari who for the life of me has contributed nothing to the world aside from a great rack and the song “Sponsor” featuring Gucci Mane, which, I actually loved. But on this show…pointless.

Yandy? She mildly amuses me but only because she’s just somebody else who latched on to the Jim Jones bandwagon. Nancy, love her. But I tend to like crackheads. And then there’s Chrissy.

I cannot stand her. Many women I know love her no-nonsense attitude….except when it comes to Jimmy. Honestly, if it wasn’t for all of her instigating and fighting, I’d hate her more. But alas, she keeps bringing the gun to the knifefight so she does possess value.

Look, the show blows. There’s too much boohooing over men that don’t want them and then too many talentless women attempting to be somebody in the world. There’s really no reason for this show to exist.

But at the end of the day, Love & Hip-Hop makes me realize that despite the fact that I’m not rich, apparently me and Jim Jones could live in the same neighborhood since there seem to be a plethora of tiny ass houses right next door to him. (Seriously, did homeboy have his house built in a neighborhood full of 2 bedroom homes?) The problems that these broads have are not unlike everybody else’s problems except they’re potentially more ridiculous because all of their fame is due to the men they’re associated with. I find it so interesting how many women love these shows considering how they fly in the face of nearly everything women get so pissed at men for saying.

These women are the living embodiment of a Tyler Perry movie without a script but women tune in every Monday with reckless abandon. THEN talk sh*t about the terrible Tyler Perry movies and how they do a disservice to women everywhere. Okay. Alright.

What’s the draw? I don’t know. But the next time any of y’all who love these shows tell me Tyler Perry is selling us out…I’m going to throw my show at you or one of those bottles Kimbella threw at Erica Mena. And then I’ll have Chrissy yank your lacefront.

So real talk…why the hell do people love these shows so much? Don’t tell me the drama…it can’t be that simple? And speaking of the proposal to Chrissy, does it matter or is the fact that it happens that much more significant in general?

Talk to me…what’s with the love for Love & Hip-Hop?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • http://iamyourpeople.com/ I Am Your People

    Aside:

    Anybody seen Yoles? I remember someone posted a while back she had been in the hospital. Is she ok?

  • http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie

    I’m not trying to be a hipster, I’m just being honest.

    I’ve never seen this show before. If it wasn’t for Twitter and this blog post, I’d know nothing of it. This article doesn’t really make me want to search through my On Demand options and see if I can catch an episode. lol. Community, Modern Family and Reed Between the Lines works for me.

    But I will say, I don’t have my wedding or proposal planned in my head. All I know is I want a one strap sleek ivory Grecian dress a la the film 300. But that’s about it.

    Am I some kind of freak? Are my estrogen levels off? I don’t know…. I hope the comment section proves I’m not alone here…

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    I have never seen this show in my life. I haven’t regularly watched reality TV since the original 2 or 3 Real World vs Road Rule challenges on MTV. So I don’t understand anything that was said here.

  • http://vanityinperil.com Vanity in Peril

    Didn’t see the proposal. Don’t really follow this one. I think all of these shows on VH1 exist for the sole purpose of keeping John Sally employed. They must pay him in vegan meatballs and singles.

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    I tune into this show for the same reason I tune into anything of this “caliber.” Ratchedness is probably the purest form entertainment. Not only does it provide entertainment on its own, but it lends to commentary provided by funny folks at their funniest. Seriously. I haven’t seen more reglah mofos who bring A-Game professional level comedy than I do on Twitter during these type of shows.

    Oh, and that proposal? Yeah, Chrissy’s tears were definitely more on a “FINALLY” thing than a “YOU IS SO ROMANTICAL” thing. Because… um-mer-ruh… Jim asked her if she’d be his wife using the exact same tone as a man would ask his girl if she pooted.

  • hehe

    I really hate black twitter and gossip sites for luring me back to this ratchet arse show. Panama I’m so with you, I can’t STAND that loud mouth no ambition shrew Chrissy! Seriously what do ppl see in her? She’s 42 with no job who fought a woman for no good reason. Also have to agree with you on Emily not being attractive with her no style but working as a stylist. Like most of the women on that show I can’t stand Emily’s weak ass. Kimbella to me is the most likeable.

  • MObetta

    I am actually a fan of this show (apparently in the minority, thus far) …and I have no intelligent idea why. Every week I tune in just to say Olivia is a hater with more issues than a few. Same goes for Kimbella (why are they and Yandy airing their mama and daddy issues on the TV all willy nilly? who does that?) and all of her double standards (you can come at Emily about her man but Erica can’t come at you about yours? the audacity!). And to lament this Chrissy Jim relationship foolishness. But the more that is leaked about her, well, as long as the cash is still flowing, I’m not surprised she’s pushed her self-esteem to the side. Apparently, that’s how she rolls.

    But that proposal? Definitely made for TV. It cracks me up how Yandy has been Jim’s manager for all of these years and all of a sudden when the TV deal happens, she quits. AND Chrissy has been shacking with Jim for 7 yrs and all of a sudden now it’s been too long and she’s ready to leave. Same for Emily. And Olivia, ma’am, just have a seat. We don’t know you and regardless of what Rich Dollaz tells you, we don’t want to know you.

    To wrap this up, I really have no real reason for continuing to tune in week after week. I am ashamed. I just like to maintain a certain level of ratchet in my lifespace? Who knows. But I will be tuning in next week to see what happens next.

  • Loving Me

    I’m part of the 22.5% of black people that doesn’t watch this show (or any of the wives/love/vh1 shows… except T.O’s show) but I’ve been proposed to a few times and the one I accepted was oddly similar to this one… I should’ve said no but that’s another story. Honestly and seriously though, the proposal doesn’t matter all that much in the grand scheme of things and I’m sure she doesn’t care at this point if it was romantic or not. Now should they not last, then she’ll look back and trip off the way he basically tossed her the ring

  • http://twitter/com/PenelopeSanchez Penelope

    :: steels my countenance for the Panama shoe, as I harbor equal parts Tyler Perry hatred and L&HH adoration in my being ::

  • Averagenius

    I had never seen the show until 2-3 weeks ago. My friends told me I had to watch, it was their one “ghetto vice”. My first episode was when Kimbella met Erica. I will guesstimate that my new desire to catch reruns of this show (I have other things i watch during it’s normal time slot) can only be summed up by the trainwreck phenomenon. I want to look away….but, I find myself slowing down to peep the wreckage. SMH. I’m going to read a book to counteract this foolishness.

    As for that lack luster proposal, I’m taken back to that one clip that hit the web last year where the guy proposed to his girl in the club after having a poor man’s Rueban Studdard serenade her on stage. He was on one knee. She gave him a serious #sideeye and mouthed “You can’t fix it like this.” Annnnnnd, I feel like that’s what Chrissy should have said. If she already considered herself engaged (since apparently she asked him to marry her already) and her concerns were about him not being availability emotionally, not including her in his business (what IS her role in that….other than pushing Yandy out?), and not taking her side when she has beef with his co-workers & mother, The Ring Don’t Mean A Thing. Zolziack.

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