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tonight’s a special night for office stans throughout the country as tv’s favorite comedic couple, jim halpert and pam beesly, will finally tie the knot after five years of hilarious and heart-wrenching “will they, or won’t they” machinations.

although their mutual feelings for each other have been apparent since season one, the roadblocks they’ve had to overcome (pam’s unhappy engagement, jim’s prolonged nonchalant bitchassness, michael scott doing michael scott things, etc) makes it “one of the most believable relationships on television” as well as one of the most entertaining.

despite this “believablity”, jim and pam’s coupling is just another example of the uber romantic fairy tales we’ve been inudated with our entire lives. the usual premise: true love conquers and supercedes all, and, if this love makes itself known, it’s our duty and earthly right to consummate it by any means neccesary.

thing is, these tales usually neglect to mention the carnage sometimes left with this dogmatic pursuit of our romantic happiness, a fact made very apparent two weeks ago when r&b antistar mashonda put alicia keys on twast (twitter blast) for pursuing a relationship with mashonda’s husband, swizz beatz.

inspired by a note on keys’ twitter account asking “in love, is it better to go for the choice that is smart or the choice that has spark?”, mashonda fired back, accusing the poor man’s beyonce of (paraphrasing) “extreme and blatant selfishiness for openly pursuing a man that’s married with children”. she also implied that keys’ music makes her a hypocrite and a fraud, since theres nothing empowering or pro-woman about boning another woman’s husband.

now, regardless of your feelings about cheating and who’s most culpable (the husband, the mistress, or the wife for letting it happen) in this type of situation, you can’t argue that this affair created a few casualities. but, lets speculate for a minute that alicia keys and swizz beats are actually soulmates, and that their love for each other is truer and deeper and more passionate than kanye’s love for blond dykes.

if this is true, if swizz and alicia are destined to be together forever like baby hair and al b. sure, does the end justify the means? does the pursuit and capture of “true love” supercede everything and everybody else, regardless of the collateral damage? do “soulmates” even exist, or is that just an excuse for people to act selfishly and impetutously? how come nobody is willing to give the thundergoat props for being the only scandel-less female megastar?

the carpet is yours

—the champ

Filed Under: ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    First, Alicia Keys is not the poor man’s Beyonce…Ashanti is/was.

    Secondly, I know I am gonna be tarred and feathered for saying this. BUT, in the course of making yourself happy, other people may get hurt.

    It is called life. It is what it is.

    I have issues with judging another woman for her relationship choices. My morals can’t be projected onto another. Alicia and Swizz seem to be happy now. It’s clear something was lacking in his marriage, otherwise he wouldn’t have strayed. Is Alicia a little foul? That’s not for any of us to judge.

    Secondly, we only hear Mashonda’s side of the story. Maybe her and Swizz were on the outs for a long time. We don’t know.

    I don’t want to debate the mechanics of this – she should have waited till he was separated/divorced, etc. Two people made a choice to be happy. One person got hurt.

    The reality is this: Mashonda would have gotten hurt regardless. Even if there were no Alicia, she’d either: a) be in a relationship with a man who wasn’t happy or b) have gotten dumped at some point cuz he wanted ‘more’.

    I’ve never jacked another woman’s husband and pray to God I never do but I also cannot fault Alicia (or Swizz) for pursuing the thing that connected them. If what they have is real, they should have. Stuff like that doesn’t come around very often and you have to snatch happiness when you find it.

    • Humble_One aka Recession Fodder

      @V.E.G.,

      “I know I am gonna be tarred and feathered for saying this. BUT, in the course of making yourself happy, other people may get hurt.”

      So you think it is ok to gain happiness at the expense of others? At what point is someone wrong for putting their happiness before others?

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

        @Humble_One aka Recession Fodder,

        So you think it is ok to gain happiness at the expense of others?

        Yes. As long as this is not a pattern in your life.

        At what point is someone wrong for putting their happiness before others?

        Often times, we put another person’s happiness before our own. And, I’m sorry: that is simply not living. NOW, if you continually hurt people to find your center, then you need to re-evaluate life.

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

          @V.E.G.,

          Would you feel the same way towards the situation if another woman had just taken your husband from you and was flaunting it?

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

            @Monk,

            Is she flaunting it? Them mofos weren’t at the BET awards, making out in the front row!

            I’d like to think I am enlightened enough to say “Well…he wasn’t for me” if that happened. I don’t know until I’m put in that situation. But I do know that I don’t want any man who doesn’t want me. And, if I truly, truly loved him, I’d want him to be happy. Sure he may get cussed out but I hope I can stay true to what I believe in that moment.

        • Cece

          @V.E.G.,

          -So you think it is ok to gain happiness at the expense of others?

          -Yes. As long as this is not a pattern in your life.

          So you think it’s ok to do just do evil shit sometimes? Tell me, are you one of modern enlightened telenovela villians, and if so, when does your show come on so I can watch.

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

            @Cece,

            I am going to say the thing you are never supposed to say: sometimes you do evil ish. While it may not be ok to do it, folks can’t judge you for it. I’ll deal with God when the time comes.

            My show runs on Saturdays, at 4.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Cece,

            welcome and sh*t

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @V.E.G.,

          NOW, if you continually hurt people to find your center, then you need to re-evaluate life.

          whats the cut off number of times you’re allowed to do this before you start re-evaluating?

          • Me fail english?

            @The Champ,

            3-5. It’s all in the handbook.

    • overit

      @V.E.G., I agree the situation would be hurtful regardless, but my assumption is that the affair cuts that much deeper when you have to find out the way she did. Why couldn’t Tucan Sam tell Mashonda he was not happy and wanted a divorce?

      Swizz Beats=B.A.N

      ps) I will bet 3 Miss Tina Wide Belt with Lion Head that they are not together by the end of 2010.

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @overit,

        AND let’s not forget Alicia throwing Swizz a birthday party.

        Most importantly, all of this over a man who looks like a Switch? Switch Beats. iCan’t.

        • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

          @Luvvie,

          Just cuz you and I don’t think he’s cute doesn’t mean she doesn’t think he is the most beautiful man in the world!

          And she threw him a party…at that point he was her man (regardless of how she got him).

          We are spending way too much time judging how other people got to their happiness (no matter how fleeting it may end up being) when we should be living, trying to get to ours.

          We have but one life. Alicia is living hers. If she’s living wrong, she’ll deal with it on judgment day.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @V.E.G., We are spending way too much time judging how other people got to their happiness (no matter how fleeting it may end up being) when we should be living, trying to get to ours.

            while i agree with this on the surface, i think its a bit shortsighted. when people go about leaving trails of dead bodies on their way to zen-like happiness, i think its more than fair to judge those mofos. is that the case of Akeys and swizzle? maybe, maybe not. but i think the whole “i gotta get mine, you gotta get yours” at the expense of common decency is part of the problem with ninjas now. nobody stops to think of the effects of their decisions, because its more important for us to get what we want.

          • Me fail english?

            @Panama Jackson,

            Word. We all live in a community…We are the World, Heal the World, Save the Whales…and things of that nature.

            We should be very concerned with making sure we dont stomp mudholes through folks lives in our pursuit of happiness. Imagine if abolitionists said “Yeah I know it’s not cool for Massa Johnson to make negroes pick cotton for free…but it really does make him happy.” Then where would I be? We all know I sunburn too easily for that.

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @V.E.G.,

            “We are spending way too much time judging how other people got to their happiness”

            Judging is fun.

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

        @overit,

        “I will bet 3 Miss Tina Wide Belt with Lion Head that they are not together by the end of 2010.”

        That’s what they said about Brad and Angie.

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @V.E.G.,

          Brad & Angie are an attractive couple. Alicia and Swizz Beats look odd. Alicia looks like she bodies him. And he looks like he gives her papercuts.

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

            @Luvvie,

            Don’t EVA let me see you with a guy you think is hawt and I think he’s busted. You will be clowned.

            If she likes him, what we care how he looks? Eye of the beholder…

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @VEG,

            Who dahd and made u Alicia Key’s Defender? U kill all the joy in roasting. UGH!

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

            @Luvvie,

            I am just irritated with all the Facebook statuses and tweets and blog posts about this. Mofos are actin’ like she took their husband or somethin.

        • overit

          @V.E.G., I don’t care if that’s they said about Adam and Eve, lol. I wholly disagree with this “happy by any means” rationale.

      • Imperfect

        @overit,

        “Why couldn’t Tucan Sam tell Mashonda he was not happy and wanted a divorce?”

        Lol. Just lol

      • Me fail english?

        @overit,

        I dont know anything about the situation. But regardless of how long anyone knew anything Swizz Beats is an a__hole for letting this isht get public before he PUBLICLY separated from Mashonda. If for no other reason than this is sure to create a bitter situation with your children’s mother.

        And Alicia’s dumb as rocks for risking her rep with a dude who was willing to do this. No the ends dont justify the means cuz the people who cut all types of corners to get it crackin almost never have a happy end.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Me fail english?, quite honestly, somehow, i think alicia is managing to deflect all criticism here…well, she’s not suffering from it. her rep seems to be intact. i’m sure nobody’s gonna stop themselves from buying her album b/c she’s got harlot tendencies…

          i think you’re right though…this sh*t should never have gotten to the point where it all played out in public. luckily, i think 99 percent of the populace couldn’t care less.

          now let this be Jay, Beyoncé, and Rihanna…like…evidenced proof…

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Panama Jackson,

            now let this be Jay, Beyoncé, and Rihanna…like…evidenced proof…

            yeah, alicia keys is definitely benefiting from “insightful music made by a light skinned chick” points

          • overit

            @Panama Jackson, thing is, I don’t need MediaTakeout or the powers that define whose rep is tarnished or not, determine what is moral and what isn’t.

            I could care less what these celebs do, but if someone asks whether I think A Keys was triflin, I would offer a resounding yes.

            I’m trying to be a wife someday, damnAT!

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @overit,

        “Why couldn’t Tucan Sam tell Mashonda he was not happy and wanted a divorce?”

        EXACTLY. Man the eff up. If I were Alicia, that very fact would be a HUGE turn-off. But, I’m not…so. *shrug*

    • Gem of the Ocean

      @V.E.G.,

      i can’t completely co-sign this one, veg-it-able. cheating is WRONG. and yes, i judge ppl who make a conscious decision to be RUDE. it’s one thing to fall in love with some one other than your spouse (or some one elses spouse), but it is quite another to have an extra-marital affair. why cant you wait until the divorse is FINAL before you go messing around? you may not be able to control your emotions, but you can control your behaviors (save for those regulated by your hindbrain but i digress…). and i cannot condone ppl who think it’s ok to OUTWARDLY carry on a relationship with a side piece when the wife piece is still very much in the picture.

      but i DO agree that Mashonda was gonna get hurt either way. her believing that AK is the reason her and Swizz were having marital problems is BS and quite delusional of her. AK just exposed an already fractured union. the break was bound to happen with external pressures at work.

      i’m all for going for what makes you happy. but i do think ppl need to exercise caution and make wise decisions in the process. hosh*t does not always lead to happiness.

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

        @Gem of the Ocean,

        “hosh*t does not always lead to happiness”

        THIS is very true.

        • Gem of the Ocean

          @V.E.G.,

          it is highly likely, however, that hosh*t leads to “happy endings”.

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

            @Gem of the Ocean,

            And there is a difference between the two: happiness and happy endings.

        • http://www.twitter.com/Vivacious2 This Just In…

          @V.E.G.,

          How you get em is how you lose em…FACT.

          Karma is real…FACT.

          That is all.

          • miss t-lee

            @This Just In…,
            “How you get em is how you lose em…FACT.”
            LOL!!! I just put this in my comment.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @This Just In…,

            How you get em is how you lose em…FACT.

            Karma is real…FACT.

            cliches said to guilt people into doing good things? fact

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @V.E.G.,

          “hosh*t does not always lead to happiness”

          someone needs to tell that to luvvie

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @The Champ,

            Tell DEEZ!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            i did while you were sleeping

          • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

            @The Champ,

            NO. Under no circumstances will anyone tell that to Luvvie.

            Hey, Luvvie, remember me?

      • Me fail english?

        @Gem of the Ocean,

        “the break was bound to happen with external pressures at work. ”

        Was it though? My parents didnt really get the “shelter your children from adult problems” memo. So during the course of their marriage I can personally tell you of times I just KNEW they weren’t gonna make it. Their parents, friends, children…nobody thought they’d make it to this point. But look at em now. Been together since ’68 and they’re actually *gaps* in love! Like gross, annoying puppy love (blech! blech! blech!). That’s my whole problem with Swizz. Like you said, he should’ve waited til it was completely done before he starts getting bday parties that the press finds out about.

        • Gem of the Ocean

          @Me fail english?,

          just becuz 2 ppl are together in a relationship doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t broken. and that also doesn’t mean the brokenness can’t be mended.

          i read mashonda’s letter. and she seems convinced that akeys is the reason her and swizz for their problems and why they’re separating. and i’m simply sayin i dont buy that becuz they already had their issues. now, had akeys not come into the picture, its possible swizz and mashonda coulda worked it out. but the fact remains–he’s just not that into her (anymore). and he’s done many things to prove it so.

      • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

        @Gem of the Ocean, “i’m all for going for what makes you happy. but i do think ppl need to exercise caution and make wise decisions in the process. hosh*t does not always lead to happiness.”

        I feel this too. and I haven’t read all the comments here yet, but I believe in karma and in my own personal life I’ve had bad things manifest from bad decisions. You can’t be mad when bad things happen to you when you’ve wallowed in grime yourself. If something is to come to AK for her decisions, it will–but I’m just tired of everyone and their mama thinking they got the voodoo mojo to make it happen or that it really should matter in THEIR world. it shouldn’t.

    • TLC

      @V.E.G.,

      “Two people made a choice to be happy. One person got hurt.”

      I’d say since there is a child involved more than one person got hurt. Believing that this will not have a lasting impact on their child and his relationship with his father would be delusional. Being selfish is not a steller quality to have in any case but when children are involved it’s extremely despicable.

      • SDot

        @TLC,

        Kids are resilient. Furthermore, I know a good many adults who were damaged by their parents staying together unhappily for the sake of the children, at least in terms of their inability to have healthy relationships. Not condoning any behavior, just saying the children may not have been spared either way.

        • Me fail english?

          @SDot,

          Good point. But I think what TLC is saying is there a way to do make the transition more gently for a child than headlines and twitter beef.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @Me fail english?, at least his momma name ain’t Superhead.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @V.E.G., First, Alicia Keys is not the poor man’s Beyonce…Ashanti is/was.

      i agree with you that there’s no way in hell that AK is a poor man’s Beyonce. she’s a superstar in her own right, whether i like her or not. lol.

      i actually don’t even think Ashant is either. at her prime, she was a star.

      nope. i’m gonna have to go with the Christina Milian as a poor man’s Beyonce. as much as i used to love Christina Milian, Beyonce kilt her career potential…by being more talented.

      • Me fail english?

        @Panama Jackson,

        I’d like to nominate Mya as well…although she may be occupied finishing up her post as the poor man’s Aaliyah.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Me fail english?,

          i thought that was ciara?

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @The Champ,

            U thought right.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        you can be a star and still be another persons “poor mans”. its about level of stardom and sh*t.

        btw, i think christina milan is actually the homeless mans ashanti, which i guess makes her the slumdog’s beyonce

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @The Champ,

          “btw, i think christina milan is actually the homeless mans ashanti, which i guess makes her the slumdog’s beyonce”

          *DEAD*

          Bury me in a Yaki 51 FoxyBrown special hairhat w/ baby hurr attached & an Amber Rose catsuit. I insist folks rock Baby Phat to my funegro

    • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

      @V.E.G., I totally feel you.

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @V.E.G.,

      “First, Alicia Keys is not the poor man’s Beyonce…Ashanti is/was.”

      WORD.

      And uh, Alicia’s voice is better. She can BLOW, whereas Beyonce can just…sing. *matrix bends from stan tomatoes*

      • http://andeyewonder.blogspot.com K to the…

        @Cheekie,

        *matrix bends from stan tomatoes*

        The visual of that just made me cackle.

        *goes back to stalking comments*

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Cheekie, so let me get this right (and we’ve had this argument 1 million times at this point and i remain no less stunned every time i hear such bullox)…alicia keys can blow…but Beyonce can only sing?!?!?!?!

        “…that sounds stupid to me…” ~ JayZ

        wtf do y’all be listening to?? and its not even to say Alicia can’t blow…but to say that Beyonce can’t???LMAO.

        • Me fail english?

          @Panama Jackson,

          Well I’m saying Alicia can’t blow. Rev. Jenkins would not let her do a solo for the choir’s Christmas revue and yall know that!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            @Me fail english?, you know, you may be right. she can do runs and sh*t, but i wouldn’t expect a rousing house-shut-down style vocal performance from her. hell, her singing on “empire state of mind” was the most brash and emotive singing i think she’s ever done…and that sh*t was enhanced by studio tricks.

            and by studio tricks, i don’t mean video vixens.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            and by studio tricks, i don’t mean video vixens.

            LOL

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Panama,

            LMFAO @ studio tricks being video vixens. That needs to be officially added to American lexicon.

          • Miss Patterson, arsonist in training

            @Me fail english?, i don’t think either of them can “blow”.
            do i like to hear beyonce when i’m going out? yes.
            did i play single ladies video 50-11 times on youtube and try to memorize the choreaography?
            yes.
            however, beyonce does not have any extensive vocal training. she can’t dance and sing at the same time. she’s often off short of breath when she dance and sing in live performances. it’s funny, my friend who is an opera singer loves beyonce, but she said her voice was crafted for the studio, not live performances. she actually said kelly rowland was the better vocally trained one. i wonder if america lowered their standards when whitney became a crackhead and mariah embraced her borderline personality disorder?

          • Me fail english?

            @Miss Patterson,
            I’ve seen Bey live and I couldn’t disagree more. The soul-o-meter is subjective. But to say that she can’t sing and dance sounds like some hateration, or maybe she just caught her on a bad day. She was sang-dancing her asz off as recently as 2009, ad libs and all.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Panama Jackson,

          “but to say that Beyonce can’t???”

          I’ll say it again. I can’t stand a bish that tricks folks with just hollering. And, granted Alicia does that a lot too, but some of her songs when she calmed the hell down on that hollering, I think she had a great voice. Different strokes, though.

          Hell, Beyonce’s voice has cracked on the studio version of her OWN song: Sweet Dreams. When she sings, “Not even death can tear us apart”…ya’ll think that mess sounded GOOD?! Up your standards, ninja! For real. Her voice is okay, but highly overrated. And not equipped for a lot of the mess folks have her singing nowadays.

          • miss t-lee

            @Cheekie,
            I couldn’t figure out why everyone liked “No One” when she was literally screaming off key for 4 minutes.
            I’ve never claimed to be a big AK fan anyway…I have one cd, the diary one, and I got that ish for Christmas from my brother…lol

        • Ms. Hall

          @Panama Jackson,

          I think that when we say one can “blow” that implies that there is a certain (natural) soulfulness to their voice and their delivery of a song. While Beyonce can sing (very well) her voice is clearly trained (as if every crescendo is planned.) And frankly it has to be. Considering some of her dance routines she has to know how to stay on key while doing the Uh…oh dance. They are both great performers, individually. It’s a slap in the face to imply that Keys is a substitute when Beyonce isn’t available.

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Ms. Hall,

            “I think that when we say one can “blow” that implies that there is a certain (natural) soulfulness to their voice and their delivery of a song.”

            *nods*

            Beyonce is “soulful” in the same way Dick Cheney is “human”.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Ms. Hall,

            It’s a slap in the face to imply that Keys is a substitute when Beyonce isn’t available.

            to whose?

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @V.E.G.,

      I’m gonna put my name on the line and actually co-sign. Love makes it right (shrugs). Love is hard enough, TRUE LOVE? that ish is like finding the holy grail, stranded on avalon, in front of the fountain of youth with excalibur laying beside it.

      I would think anybody who has been in love would understand. It’s not fair—but neither is love and war.

      Bond. BlkBond.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @BlkBond,

        what exactly is your definition of true love?

        • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

          @The Champ,

          You can’t define it in words; to do so would be an exercise in futility. You know it when it hits you.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @V.E.G.,

      I also cannot fault Alicia (or Swizz) for pursuing the thing that connected them. If what they have is real, they should have

      question: in your opinion, is there anything that a connection like that doesnt supersede, any act that’s too faulty and foul for any justification? like, if you’re dating a guy and he found out that your 19 year old daughter is his soulmate, would you be ok with it being what it is?

      • Me fail english?

        @The Champ,

        Good question! And further, does that make you selfish for not wanting him to go there cause “if you loved him, you’d want him to be happy”?

        • Gem of the Ocean

          @Me fail english? and The Champ,

          both GREAT questions!!

    • http://ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Big Man

      @V.E.G.,
      VEG, usually I rock you. We both from the NO. But, come on now.

      It’s not unfortunate when you commit adultery.

      It’s effed up.

      I’m not a fan of divorce, but if you truly feel like you can’t be with someone, society has set up acceptable ways to move on. You do not have to violate your marriage vows to get some love.

      Swizz Beats is a bastard for what he did. And Alicia Keys is a trifling how in my book.

      Adulterers are trifling and selfish, I feel no sympathy for their pathos.

    • J Murray

      I know im like 8 years late, but i couldnt have said this better myself well spoken V.E.G

  • http://www.myspace.com/igotastory melekaj

    The “soulmates” argument is good in theory, but I still say a.keys was wrong. She knew this man was married before she even started the process of getting to know him (and eventually falling in love). THAT is why she is a harlot.

    • http://www.myspace.com/igotastory melekaj

      @melekaj, add a big ole Allegedly to my comment since i don’t know that for a fact.

      • Me fail english?

        @melekaj,

        Allege my asz! lol

        Regardless of what stage of the marriage she walked in on, she knew they were married. Now whether or not its right (or smart) to jump on husband whose marriage seems to be in disrepair…I wouldnt expect A. Keys (an unmarried woman, with unmarried parents) to think the way I would. But Swizz?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @melekaj,

      THAT is why she is a harlot.

      i’d argue that the excessive camel toe made her a harlot, but different strokes and sh*t

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @melekaj,

      I truly appreciate ur use of the word “harlot.” Kudos.

  • Miss Patterson

    1. i cannot wait until pam & jim get married (i’m probably going to buy a bottle of chimay and celebrate…no i won’t that’s ridiculous. i never get that tied up in fictional characters and fairy tale love stories)
    2. soulmates don’t exist
    3. no one pursues love at all costs because they either a) settle or b) fear hurting their loved ones by chasing the ‘spark’.
    4. if anyone does pursue love at all costs, it should be the man. Otherwise, the woman will play herself.
    5. I love John Krasinski and “Jim” and I adore his and Pam’s inside jokes on the show.
    6. I’m probably going to cry during the show because I get teary eyed everytime they play that wedding toast promo on NBC.

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @Miss Patterson,

      “no one pursues love at all costs because they either a) settle or b) fear hurting their loved ones by chasing the ’spark’.”

      This is sad to me. And I agree that there is no such thing as a soul mate. Only soulful relationships.

    • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

      @Miss Patterson,

      4. if anyone does pursue love at all costs, it should be the man. Otherwise, the woman will play herself.

      As if men can’t play themselves….

      • Humble_One aka Recession Fodder

        @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

        It seems it’s always ok for men to play themselves.

      • Miss Patterson

        @Stuff Ghetto People Like, this is true, but in my experience we have a lower success rate when we (women) pursue. if we pursue we may experience some brief mutual spark with the guy, but it is fleeting. on the otherhand, when dudes pursue it often results in a love affair that is more lasting.

        • Me fail english?

          @Miss Patterson,

          I agree.

        • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

          @Miss Patterson,

          Maybe it’s just me, but it’s been my experience that I can meet someone once and weeks later still be interested in them even if for work/school reasons we’ve not had opportunities to chat/etc. But the reverse has never been true.

    • Gem of the Ocean

      @Miss Patterson,

      well i was totally gonna invite you over to celebrate the Beesly-Halpert union but since you wanna act all brand new, i’ll drink my good wine SOLO. poo on you.

      • Miss Patterson

        @Gem of the Ocean,
        #1 should be read with sarcasm. girl, i love pam & jim. i just can’t be broadcasting my sh*t like that. you know how these vsb thugs love talkin’ trash.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Miss Patterson,

      3. no one pursues love at all costs because they either a) settle or b) fear hurting their loved ones by chasing the ’spark’.

      or maybe the pursuit isn’t worth it. i mean, i dont know, whats the point of the destination if the journey’s adversity takes 10 years off of your life?

      • Me fail english?

        @The Champ,

        I’d actually rather die young but live to the max then grow old and useless (like Jaz-O).

        One of my biggest fears is ending up like Brooke Astor, an old invalid that everybody sees as a burden. I might just off myself behind that one. Okay, I wouldnt cuz Im Catholic and I think God sends you straight to hell for suicide but I’d be depressed and miserable.

      • nikki87

        @The Champ,
        cuz in that moment, brief though it may be, u get the opportunity to experience what some persons having been searching for their entire life….bliss. it’s like nothing else matters now that u’ve given and been the recipient of true love. everything else could fade away into nothing…

        in the end true love is all consuming and sometimes very selfish cuz it always leaves u wanting more

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    I think the real question is this: why is a grown woman handling her business on Twitter?
    I understand she is hurt. And that Alicia hasn’t returned her calls (but, if you jacked a woman’s husband…would you call her back?) but the internet is not the place to work through your issues.
    She’s hurting, yes. But I call publicity stunt.

    • Gem of the Ocean

      @V.E.G.,

      i dont even know if it’s a publicity stunt, so to speak. the internet “outing” was bogus but i think she thought she’d come off classy and gain sympathy/pity by publicly acknowledging the dirt goin on with her man and akeys. and there are PLENTY of ppl who are moved by her story and are clinging to her side. i just think its silly.

    • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

      @V.E.G.,

      From my understanding, she doesn’t have any product to promote so I don’t think it’s a publicity stunt and she’s never came off as an attention whore to me.

      Although one may not agree with the internet “outing”, that’s just her way of dealing with the situation. That probably makes her feel better and a tad bit happy and relieved to have gotten it off her chest. Aren’t you an advocate for obtaining happiness by any means necessary even if it hurts others?

      • Me fail english?

        @Monk,

        Honestly, this isn’t even the first time Mashonda went public with this. Some time ago she went on a radio show about it (wound up on YBF). Then she released another statement. I think she’s just going through a crazy (crazy cuz she’s doing it so publicly and she got kids!!), embittered woman phase more than an attn whore phase.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Me fail english?, plus, she’s said (even in her long as twitter letter) that she’s made attempts to reach out that have been unreturned.

          now, what exactly she’s reaching out for? me no know. maybe she needs a hug and since alicia keys writes such inspirational and empowering woman music, she felt she’d be a good person to go to. you know, aside from the whole “you stole my husband” sidebar.

          lol.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Monk,

        That probably makes her feel better and a tad bit happy and relieved to have gotten it off her chest. Aren’t you an advocate for obtaining happiness by any means necessary even if it hurts others?

        touche and sh*t

    • TLC

      @V.E.G.,

      Publicity stunt in what way?? I don’t believe Mashonda has any movies or albums to promote.

      • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

        @TLC,

        she seeks sympathy in the court of public opinion. These actions are also to sway public opinion of A.Keys. She is hurting, and wants her to her also.

        Bond.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @TLC, even if mashonda had an album or movie coming out…SHE STILL wouldn’t have shit to promote.

        that’s deep…like an alicia keys song.

        • miss t-lee

          @Panama Jackson,
          Mashonda wasn’t doing junk even when she was singing…lol
          This is the most press she’s had in years. She should be paying Twitter for the pub.

    • Imperfect

      @V.E.G.,

      My question is why are people following Swizz Beat’s wife (to the point of knowing the details of the “tued” (twitter fued, I think I just made that up) between her and Alicia Keys. Besides being his wife, who is Mashonda?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Imperfect, b/c in the world of Black gossip…dysfunctional relationships are always front page news.

    • journey78

      @V.E.G., -Completley agree on the publicity stunt aspect. She must have a book, album or website thats going to drop soon.
      Why did she expect AK to call her back anyway? She doesn’t have anything to say to her. Mashonda should be dealing with Swizz. HE owes her an explanation. HE owes her the respect to step away till he handled his business. That wasn’t AKs responibility.

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @journey78,

        Mashonda actually put at the end of the letter that she does NOT have an album or book coming out so folks can kill the “publicity stunt” noise.

        Hmm… unless she’s tryna get a VH1 reality TV show. YUP! That’s what she doing. O_o

    • http://ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Big Man

      @V.E.G.,

      It doesn’t really matter to me what her motives were. I think her decision was stupid, but that will never change my opinion on Alicia Keys’ decision to start banging a married man?

      Respect the covenant.

  • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

    I’m not following the story, but maybe Swizz saw an opening to trade up to a bigger star and went for it? Ain’t like Keys was his high school sweetheart or a chick he wanted for years before meeting Mashonda.

    I think that sometimes about those women I’ve wanted for years, or those ladies that have kind of a “first love” status. Like if the opportunity comes and it feels like an old friend or favorite movie, she’s as bad as before and such, and I’m as single as they come, I’d be an idiot not to get it in. But homewrecking ain’t worth it on either end.

    Entertainment types seem to play by different rules though.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Stuff Ghetto People Like, they sure do. evidenced by the INSANE support for a motherf*cking admitted, guilty pleading, child sodomizing movie director.

      maybe that’s just white Hollywood…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        maybe that’s just white Hollywood…

        lol, we do it too. having a great skill gets you a ton of “look the other way” points with us.

  • Leila

    Mashonda is placing the blame on the wrong person. It hurts when your man leaves you, but putting Alicia Keys on full blast will not bring her husband back. I personally do believe in a soul mates and sometimes you meet them in less than ideal situations.

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @Leila,

      Agree on Mashonda.
      Disagree on soulmates, lol. BUT I agree you find soulful relationships in less than ideal relationships. Takes courage, yes…courage, to go after it. Worrying about public opinion and etiquette has left many a person lonely and unhappy.

    • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

      @Leila, yeah, I do find that corny as hell when jilted SOs blame the other person, as if their mate is an idiot who doesn’t think for him or herself and does whatever the last person in their ear says. And if that person is that easily led astray, they weren’t for you to begin with.

      • Gem of the Ocean

        @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

        indeedy doo.

      • Me fail english?

        @Stuff Ghetto People Like,
        Amen.

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @Leila, I’on know.. I don’t feel like she did that to get Swizz back.. I feel like she fired off because she was pissed after reading that question from A.Keys and had a “hold-on-now-Byt^*” moment.

      • Me fail english?

        @Nicki Sunshine,

        Yeah. I’m thinking she “snapped”. Cant front that would piss me off too if some chick was banging out my “aint shet” husband and then talking all that lovey dovey. Dont think I’d twit-attack tho! haha

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Me fail english?, Me either, “what’s her address?” lol

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Nicki Sunshine, that’s how i view it. i think she got tired of it all being thrown in her face while they’re still “pretending” nothing is going on and sh*t. like…c’mon you silly trollop, cut out the theatrics.

        • Me fail english?

          @Panama Jackson,

          Hell yeah. Before I heard Mashonda get into this, it was already public. The gossip sites were talmbout Swizz cancelled his own shows to follow Keys on tour. He denied it. Next thing you now he’s having European bday bashes. I think if I was Mashonda I’d go crazy too! I was annoyed with Jay and Bey playing coy and Jay was never even my man.

          • Gem of the Ocean

            @Me fail english?,

            I was annoyed with Jay and Bey playing coy and Jay was never even my man.

            lmao ebff you stoopit!!

          • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @Me fail english?,

            “I was annoyed with Jay and Bey playing coy and Jay was never even my man.”

            I hate the celeb coy game in general! It only lures MORE attention toward your hypothetical relationship. I mean, they claim they don’t speak on it because it’ll give them unwanted attention. Well, what do you think playing coy does?! Especially if folks always see leaked photos of you getting your cuddle on.

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Panama Jackson, Exactly… At some point, classy gets thrown out the window, especially when people keep taking shots at you.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Nicki Sunshine,

            At some point, classy gets thrown out the window, especially when people keep taking shots at you

            and midgets

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Leila,

      Mashonda is placing the blame on the wrong person

      see, i’ve always felt that in situations like this, both people share the blame. while they’re obviously not as responsible as the person in the relationship, the “other” person is f*cking faulty as hell too

      • Me fail english?

        @The Champ,

        Prec-xactly. Why is A. Keys getting a pass cuz her role was less wrong?

        • Gem of the Ocean

          @Me fail english?,

          i dont even think akeys role was LESS wrong. just a different type of wrong. no matter how you look at it, sin is sin, cheating is cheating, and rude is RUDE.

          akeys is very much to blame. she just doesnt owe anything to mashonda whereas swizz, the legally wedded hubby, needs to owe up to breaking his vows.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @Leila,

      Methinks Mashonda already cussed Swizz out and addressed him, but thought it was time to address “The Other Woman.” And I doubt that the objective of the letter was to get Swizz back. In fact, has everyone even read this letter? Folks are acting like Mashonda is on bended knee saying “I thought God had given up on me.”

  • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com insomN.I.A.

    “True love supercedes all” is only true when both parties are single and unmarried. Pretending that adultery is ok b/c “it’s the greatest love of all” is cow manure. I am so over people trying to justify mess with the true love stamp of approval. Abusive SOs/victims do it, adulterers do it, everyone does it to justify their actions. If it was truly meant to be for Alicia and Swizz, then it would have happened without him having to step out on his wife. To me, AK looks like any other silly homewrecking heffa dating a married man who thinks the relationship is “true love.” I’ve seen this same story played over and over again on Lifetime. And it doesn’t end well for any of the characters involved…..

    And I think the term “soulmates” is another convenient term used to justify nonsense. Of all of the happily married people I know, I’ve never heard any of them refer to each other as soulmates. But, I have heard my girl use the term “soulmate” to justify staying with a verbally & emotionally abusive man…. It seems to me when there is real true love, you don’t go around saying things like that b/c it looks like you are trying to convince others it’s true…or maybe you are trying to convince yourself…..

    IDK…I’m going to bed. But good post Champ. I think you may be having the best week ever! But don’t tell PJ I said that…..

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @insomN.I.A., IDK…I’m going to bed. But good post Champ. I think you may be having the best week ever! But don’t tell PJ I said that…..

      its okay. i actually agree.

      and i think you’re right. people do tend to qualify their misdeeds in the romantic realm with words like “true love” and “but it’s so real” or “soulmates” to justify to other folks why they had to take that opportunity when it presented themselves despite the fallout from it, be it perception, damage, or STD.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @insomN.I.A.,

      IDK…I’m going to bed. But good post Champ. I think you may be having the best week ever! But don’t tell PJ I said that…..

      thanks and sh*t. and i’ll edit this post and add some profanity so his job will block vsb today and he doesnt see that.

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. N.I.A. bo-bia….

        @The Champ,
        LMAO! It’s a little too late, but I do appreciate your moxie!!

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      @insomN.I.A.,

      I fully agree, true and healthy love needs no justification, the sooner folks realize that the happier we all will be :)

  • Miss Patterson

    Hey guys! look Ads by Google is advertising ‘Love O Meters’! I’m going to check this out and report back in the morning. Perhaps *this* will be my crystal ball of love.

    • Miss Patterson

      @Miss Patterson, i’m back…they’re only $4 (50% off of the regular price) and they look like water bongs with fun straws in the middle. purple and green are sold out, but the red and blue ones are stiill available. phew! thank God!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Miss Patterson, not sure if i should call a shrink to come see you or thank you for being the first to take the plunge.

        like with the Obama Chia thing…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Miss Patterson,

        no more wing night for you

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    Totally funny: so many of the folks calling A. Keys a home wrecker now would have bet you a he!!a loot a few years back that she was lesbian.

    • shatani

      @V.E.G.,

      my jury’s still out on that….lol

      • Me fail english?

        @shatani,

        word. I wouldnt be surprised to hear she was bi *shrugs*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @V.E.G., i STILL think she munches rug on the side. that’s probably why Swizz is so stuck on her…freesomes.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @V.E.G.,

      I’m not completely Xing out A Key’s being from the Isle of Lesbo. Just cuz she found her a toothpick with a XY chromosome don’t mean she’ont lust for the XX still.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @V.E.G.,

      lol, you can be both. sh*t, look at john edwards

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    My uncle left his first wife for his current one. The first wife was pregnant at the time. His 7 sisters (including my mom) gave him the side eye and treated her so badly. That was 25 years ago. And they are still together.

    Did my uncle and my aunt (who I love dearly) behave admirably. Probably not. But they are down for each other.

    • Gem of the Ocean

      @V.E.G.,

      just becuz things work out in the end (man and sidepiece-turned-wife) doesn’t mean that generally rude immorality hasn’t taken place and/or should be excused. and i think that is the real issue. if you have to sneak around, lie, cheat, and conceal then you are WRONG.

      but if you are married and find out it’s not working and you’d rather be with some one else, then cut your loses and bow out. yeah the spouse is gonna get hurt, but better heartbroken and abandoned then heartstabbed and sh*tted on. and still abandoned

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

        @Gem of the Ocean,

        “heartstabbed and sh*tted on. and still abandoned”

        You make it sound so bad. :-p

        • Gem of the Ocean

          @V.E.G.,

          lol well in my mind (and maybe I’M the delusional one) having your husband — and father of your child — cheat on you and have a fairly public relationship with another woman sounds bad enough to warrant such a description. the only thing that could make that hurt more is an STD. and i mean “hurt” literally and figuratively.

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

            @Gem of the Ocean,

            cheating on me and leaving me = I just move on. Maybe go to a counselor.

            giving me an STD = I acquire a weapon.

          • Gem of the Ocean

            @V.E.G.

            lmao. right.

            cheating + leaving = i move on.

            cheating + STD = you pass on. to heaven. amen.

      • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

        @Gem of the Ocean,
        “but if you are married and find out it’s not working and you’d rather be with some one else, then cut your loses and bow out. yeah the spouse is gonna get hurt, but better heartbroken and abandoned then heartstabbed and sh*tted on. and still abandoned.”

        Yep.