tonight’s a special night for office stans throughout the country as tv’s favorite comedic couple, jim halpert and pam beesly, will finally tie the knot after five years of hilarious and heart-wrenching “will they, or won’t they” machinations.
although their mutual feelings for each other have been apparent since season one, the roadblocks they’ve had to overcome (pam’s unhappy engagement, jim’s prolonged nonchalant bitchassness, michael scott doing michael scott things, etc) makes it “one of the most believable relationships on television” as well as one of the most entertaining.
despite this “believablity”, jim and pam’s coupling is just another example of the uber romantic fairy tales we’ve been inudated with our entire lives. the usual premise: true love conquers and supercedes all, and, if this love makes itself known, it’s our duty and earthly right to consummate it by any means neccesary.
thing is, these tales usually neglect to mention the carnage sometimes left with this dogmatic pursuit of our romantic happiness, a fact made very apparent two weeks ago when r&b antistar mashonda put alicia keys on twast (twitter blast) for pursuing a relationship with mashonda’s husband, swizz beatz.
inspired by a note on keys’ twitter account asking “in love, is it better to go for the choice that is smart or the choice that has spark?”, mashonda fired back, accusing the poor man’s beyonce of (paraphrasing) “extreme and blatant selfishiness for openly pursuing a man that’s married with children”. she also implied that keys’ music makes her a hypocrite and a fraud, since theres nothing empowering or pro-woman about boning another woman’s husband.
now, regardless of your feelings about cheating and who’s most culpable (the husband, the mistress, or the wife for letting it happen) in this type of situation, you can’t argue that this affair created a few casualities. but, lets speculate for a minute that alicia keys and swizz beats are actually soulmates, and that their love for each other is truer and deeper and more passionate than kanye’s love for blond dykes.
if this is true, if swizz and alicia are destined to be together forever like baby hair and al b. sure, does the end justify the means? does the pursuit and capture of “true love” supercede everything and everybody else, regardless of the collateral damage? do “soulmates” even exist, or is that just an excuse for people to act selfishly and impetutously? how come nobody is willing to give the thundergoat props for being the only scandel-less female megastar?
the carpet is yours
—the champ
First, Alicia Keys is not the poor man’s Beyonce…Ashanti is/was.
Secondly, I know I am gonna be tarred and feathered for saying this. BUT, in the course of making yourself happy, other people may get hurt.
It is called life. It is what it is.
I have issues with judging another woman for her relationship choices. My morals can’t be projected onto another. Alicia and Swizz seem to be happy now. It’s clear something was lacking in his marriage, otherwise he wouldn’t have strayed. Is Alicia a little foul? That’s not for any of us to judge.
Secondly, we only hear Mashonda’s side of the story. Maybe her and Swizz were on the outs for a long time. We don’t know.
I don’t want to debate the mechanics of this – she should have waited till he was separated/divorced, etc. Two people made a choice to be happy. One person got hurt.
The reality is this: Mashonda would have gotten hurt regardless. Even if there were no Alicia, she’d either: a) be in a relationship with a man who wasn’t happy or b) have gotten dumped at some point cuz he wanted ‘more’.
I’ve never jacked another woman’s husband and pray to God I never do but I also cannot fault Alicia (or Swizz) for pursuing the thing that connected them. If what they have is real, they should have. Stuff like that doesn’t come around very often and you have to snatch happiness when you find it.
@V.E.G.,
“I know I am gonna be tarred and feathered for saying this. BUT, in the course of making yourself happy, other people may get hurt.”
So you think it is ok to gain happiness at the expense of others? At what point is someone wrong for putting their happiness before others?
@Humble_One aka Recession Fodder,
So you think it is ok to gain happiness at the expense of others?
Yes. As long as this is not a pattern in your life.
At what point is someone wrong for putting their happiness before others?
Often times, we put another person’s happiness before our own. And, I’m sorry: that is simply not living. NOW, if you continually hurt people to find your center, then you need to re-evaluate life.
@V.E.G.,
Would you feel the same way towards the situation if another woman had just taken your husband from you and was flaunting it?
@Monk,
Is she flaunting it? Them mofos weren’t at the BET awards, making out in the front row!
I’d like to think I am enlightened enough to say “Well…he wasn’t for me” if that happened. I don’t know until I’m put in that situation. But I do know that I don’t want any man who doesn’t want me. And, if I truly, truly loved him, I’d want him to be happy. Sure he may get cussed out but I hope I can stay true to what I believe in that moment.
@V.E.G.,
-So you think it is ok to gain happiness at the expense of others?
-Yes. As long as this is not a pattern in your life.
So you think it’s ok to do just do evil shit sometimes? Tell me, are you one of modern enlightened telenovela villians, and if so, when does your show come on so I can watch.
@Cece,
I am going to say the thing you are never supposed to say: sometimes you do evil ish. While it may not be ok to do it, folks can’t judge you for it. I’ll deal with God when the time comes.
My show runs on Saturdays, at 4.
@Cece,
welcome and sh*t
@V.E.G.,
NOW, if you continually hurt people to find your center, then you need to re-evaluate life.
whats the cut off number of times you’re allowed to do this before you start re-evaluating?
@The Champ,
3-5. It’s all in the handbook.
@V.E.G., I agree the situation would be hurtful regardless, but my assumption is that the affair cuts that much deeper when you have to find out the way she did. Why couldn’t Tucan Sam tell Mashonda he was not happy and wanted a divorce?
Swizz Beats=B.A.N
ps) I will bet 3 Miss Tina Wide Belt with Lion Head that they are not together by the end of 2010.
@overit,
AND let’s not forget Alicia throwing Swizz a birthday party.
Most importantly, all of this over a man who looks like a Switch? Switch Beats. iCan’t.
@Luvvie,
Just cuz you and I don’t think he’s cute doesn’t mean she doesn’t think he is the most beautiful man in the world!
And she threw him a party…at that point he was her man (regardless of how she got him).
We are spending way too much time judging how other people got to their happiness (no matter how fleeting it may end up being) when we should be living, trying to get to ours.
We have but one life. Alicia is living hers. If she’s living wrong, she’ll deal with it on judgment day.
@V.E.G., We are spending way too much time judging how other people got to their happiness (no matter how fleeting it may end up being) when we should be living, trying to get to ours.
while i agree with this on the surface, i think its a bit shortsighted. when people go about leaving trails of dead bodies on their way to zen-like happiness, i think its more than fair to judge those mofos. is that the case of Akeys and swizzle? maybe, maybe not. but i think the whole “i gotta get mine, you gotta get yours” at the expense of common decency is part of the problem with ninjas now. nobody stops to think of the effects of their decisions, because its more important for us to get what we want.
@Panama Jackson,
Word. We all live in a community…We are the World, Heal the World, Save the Whales…and things of that nature.
We should be very concerned with making sure we dont stomp mudholes through folks lives in our pursuit of happiness. Imagine if abolitionists said “Yeah I know it’s not cool for Massa Johnson to make negroes pick cotton for free…but it really does make him happy.” Then where would I be? We all know I sunburn too easily for that.
@V.E.G.,
“We are spending way too much time judging how other people got to their happiness”
Judging is fun.
@overit,
“I will bet 3 Miss Tina Wide Belt with Lion Head that they are not together by the end of 2010.”
That’s what they said about Brad and Angie.
@V.E.G.,
Brad & Angie are an attractive couple. Alicia and Swizz Beats look odd. Alicia looks like she bodies him. And he looks like he gives her papercuts.
@Luvvie,
Don’t EVA let me see you with a guy you think is hawt and I think he’s busted. You will be clowned.
If she likes him, what we care how he looks? Eye of the beholder…
@VEG,
Who dahd and made u Alicia Key’s Defender? U kill all the joy in roasting. UGH!
@Luvvie,
I am just irritated with all the Facebook statuses and tweets and blog posts about this. Mofos are actin’ like she took their husband or somethin.
@V.E.G., I don’t care if that’s they said about Adam and Eve, lol. I wholly disagree with this “happy by any means” rationale.
@overit,
“Why couldn’t Tucan Sam tell Mashonda he was not happy and wanted a divorce?”
Lol. Just lol
@overit,
I dont know anything about the situation. But regardless of how long anyone knew anything Swizz Beats is an a__hole for letting this isht get public before he PUBLICLY separated from Mashonda. If for no other reason than this is sure to create a bitter situation with your children’s mother.
And Alicia’s dumb as rocks for risking her rep with a dude who was willing to do this. No the ends dont justify the means cuz the people who cut all types of corners to get it crackin almost never have a happy end.
@Me fail english?, quite honestly, somehow, i think alicia is managing to deflect all criticism here…well, she’s not suffering from it. her rep seems to be intact. i’m sure nobody’s gonna stop themselves from buying her album b/c she’s got harlot tendencies…
i think you’re right though…this sh*t should never have gotten to the point where it all played out in public. luckily, i think 99 percent of the populace couldn’t care less.
now let this be Jay, Beyoncé, and Rihanna…like…evidenced proof…
@Panama Jackson,
now let this be Jay, Beyoncé, and Rihanna…like…evidenced proof…
yeah, alicia keys is definitely benefiting from “insightful music made by a light skinned chick” points
@Panama Jackson, thing is, I don’t need MediaTakeout or the powers that define whose rep is tarnished or not, determine what is moral and what isn’t.
I could care less what these celebs do, but if someone asks whether I think A Keys was triflin, I would offer a resounding yes.
I’m trying to be a wife someday, damnAT!
@overit,
“Why couldn’t Tucan Sam tell Mashonda he was not happy and wanted a divorce?”
EXACTLY. Man the eff up. If I were Alicia, that very fact would be a HUGE turn-off. But, I’m not…so. *shrug*
@V.E.G.,
i can’t completely co-sign this one, veg-it-able. cheating is WRONG. and yes, i judge ppl who make a conscious decision to be RUDE. it’s one thing to fall in love with some one other than your spouse (or some one elses spouse), but it is quite another to have an extra-marital affair. why cant you wait until the divorse is FINAL before you go messing around? you may not be able to control your emotions, but you can control your behaviors (save for those regulated by your hindbrain but i digress…). and i cannot condone ppl who think it’s ok to OUTWARDLY carry on a relationship with a side piece when the wife piece is still very much in the picture.
but i DO agree that Mashonda was gonna get hurt either way. her believing that AK is the reason her and Swizz were having marital problems is BS and quite delusional of her. AK just exposed an already fractured union. the break was bound to happen with external pressures at work.
i’m all for going for what makes you happy. but i do think ppl need to exercise caution and make wise decisions in the process. hosh*t does not always lead to happiness.
@Gem of the Ocean,
“hosh*t does not always lead to happiness”
THIS is very true.
@V.E.G.,
it is highly likely, however, that hosh*t leads to “happy endings”.
@Gem of the Ocean,
And there is a difference between the two: happiness and happy endings.
@V.E.G.,
How you get em is how you lose em…FACT.
Karma is real…FACT.
That is all.
@This Just In…,
“How you get em is how you lose em…FACT.”
LOL!!! I just put this in my comment.
@This Just In…,
How you get em is how you lose em…FACT.
Karma is real…FACT.
cliches said to guilt people into doing good things? fact
@V.E.G.,
“hosh*t does not always lead to happiness”
someone needs to tell that to luvvie
@The Champ,
Tell DEEZ!
i did while you were sleeping
@The Champ,
NO. Under no circumstances will anyone tell that to Luvvie.
Hey, Luvvie, remember me?
@Gem of the Ocean,
“the break was bound to happen with external pressures at work. ”
Was it though? My parents didnt really get the “shelter your children from adult problems” memo. So during the course of their marriage I can personally tell you of times I just KNEW they weren’t gonna make it. Their parents, friends, children…nobody thought they’d make it to this point. But look at em now. Been together since ’68 and they’re actually *gaps* in love! Like gross, annoying puppy love (blech! blech! blech!). That’s my whole problem with Swizz. Like you said, he should’ve waited til it was completely done before he starts getting bday parties that the press finds out about.
@Me fail english?,
just becuz 2 ppl are together in a relationship doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t broken. and that also doesn’t mean the brokenness can’t be mended.
i read mashonda’s letter. and she seems convinced that akeys is the reason her and swizz for their problems and why they’re separating. and i’m simply sayin i dont buy that becuz they already had their issues. now, had akeys not come into the picture, its possible swizz and mashonda coulda worked it out. but the fact remains–he’s just not that into her (anymore). and he’s done many things to prove it so.
@Gem of the Ocean, “i’m all for going for what makes you happy. but i do think ppl need to exercise caution and make wise decisions in the process. hosh*t does not always lead to happiness.”
I feel this too. and I haven’t read all the comments here yet, but I believe in karma and in my own personal life I’ve had bad things manifest from bad decisions. You can’t be mad when bad things happen to you when you’ve wallowed in grime yourself. If something is to come to AK for her decisions, it will–but I’m just tired of everyone and their mama thinking they got the voodoo mojo to make it happen or that it really should matter in THEIR world. it shouldn’t.
@V.E.G.,
“Two people made a choice to be happy. One person got hurt.”
I’d say since there is a child involved more than one person got hurt. Believing that this will not have a lasting impact on their child and his relationship with his father would be delusional. Being selfish is not a steller quality to have in any case but when children are involved it’s extremely despicable.
@TLC,
Kids are resilient. Furthermore, I know a good many adults who were damaged by their parents staying together unhappily for the sake of the children, at least in terms of their inability to have healthy relationships. Not condoning any behavior, just saying the children may not have been spared either way.
@SDot,
Good point. But I think what TLC is saying is there a way to do make the transition more gently for a child than headlines and twitter beef.
@Me fail english?, at least his momma name ain’t Superhead.
@V.E.G., First, Alicia Keys is not the poor man’s Beyonce…Ashanti is/was.
i agree with you that there’s no way in hell that AK is a poor man’s Beyonce. she’s a superstar in her own right, whether i like her or not. lol.
i actually don’t even think Ashant is either. at her prime, she was a star.
nope. i’m gonna have to go with the Christina Milian as a poor man’s Beyonce. as much as i used to love Christina Milian, Beyonce kilt her career potential…by being more talented.
@Panama Jackson,
I’d like to nominate Mya as well…although she may be occupied finishing up her post as the poor man’s Aaliyah.
@Me fail english?,
i thought that was ciara?
@The Champ,
U thought right.
@Panama Jackson,
you can be a star and still be another persons “poor mans”. its about level of stardom and sh*t.
btw, i think christina milan is actually the homeless mans ashanti, which i guess makes her the slumdog’s beyonce
@The Champ,
“btw, i think christina milan is actually the homeless mans ashanti, which i guess makes her the slumdog’s beyonce”
*DEAD*
Bury me in a Yaki 51 FoxyBrown special hairhat w/ baby hurr attached & an Amber Rose catsuit. I insist folks rock Baby Phat to my funegro
@V.E.G., I totally feel you.
@V.E.G.,
“First, Alicia Keys is not the poor man’s Beyonce…Ashanti is/was.”
WORD.
And uh, Alicia’s voice is better. She can BLOW, whereas Beyonce can just…sing. *matrix bends from stan tomatoes*
@Cheekie,
*matrix bends from stan tomatoes*
The visual of that just made me cackle.
*goes back to stalking comments*
@Cheekie, so let me get this right (and we’ve had this argument 1 million times at this point and i remain no less stunned every time i hear such bullox)…alicia keys can blow…but Beyonce can only sing?!?!?!?!
“…that sounds stupid to me…” ~ JayZ
wtf do y’all be listening to?? and its not even to say Alicia can’t blow…but to say that Beyonce can’t???LMAO.
@Panama Jackson,
Well I’m saying Alicia can’t blow. Rev. Jenkins would not let her do a solo for the choir’s Christmas revue and yall know that!
@Me fail english?, you know, you may be right. she can do runs and sh*t, but i wouldn’t expect a rousing house-shut-down style vocal performance from her. hell, her singing on “empire state of mind” was the most brash and emotive singing i think she’s ever done…and that sh*t was enhanced by studio tricks.
and by studio tricks, i don’t mean video vixens.
and by studio tricks, i don’t mean video vixens.
LOL
@Panama,
LMFAO @ studio tricks being video vixens. That needs to be officially added to American lexicon.
@Me fail english?, i don’t think either of them can “blow”.
do i like to hear beyonce when i’m going out? yes.
did i play single ladies video 50-11 times on youtube and try to memorize the choreaography?
yes.
however, beyonce does not have any extensive vocal training. she can’t dance and sing at the same time. she’s often off short of breath when she dance and sing in live performances. it’s funny, my friend who is an opera singer loves beyonce, but she said her voice was crafted for the studio, not live performances. she actually said kelly rowland was the better vocally trained one. i wonder if america lowered their standards when whitney became a crackhead and mariah embraced her borderline personality disorder?
@Miss Patterson,
I’ve seen Bey live and I couldn’t disagree more. The soul-o-meter is subjective. But to say that she can’t sing and dance sounds like some hateration, or maybe she just caught her on a bad day. She was sang-dancing her asz off as recently as 2009, ad libs and all.
@Panama Jackson,
“but to say that Beyonce can’t???”
I’ll say it again. I can’t stand a bish that tricks folks with just hollering. And, granted Alicia does that a lot too, but some of her songs when she calmed the hell down on that hollering, I think she had a great voice. Different strokes, though.
Hell, Beyonce’s voice has cracked on the studio version of her OWN song: Sweet Dreams. When she sings, “Not even death can tear us apart”…ya’ll think that mess sounded GOOD?! Up your standards, ninja! For real. Her voice is okay, but highly overrated. And not equipped for a lot of the mess folks have her singing nowadays.
@Cheekie,
I couldn’t figure out why everyone liked “No One” when she was literally screaming off key for 4 minutes.
I’ve never claimed to be a big AK fan anyway…I have one cd, the diary one, and I got that ish for Christmas from my brother…lol
@Panama Jackson,
I think that when we say one can “blow” that implies that there is a certain (natural) soulfulness to their voice and their delivery of a song. While Beyonce can sing (very well) her voice is clearly trained (as if every crescendo is planned.) And frankly it has to be. Considering some of her dance routines she has to know how to stay on key while doing the Uh…oh dance. They are both great performers, individually. It’s a slap in the face to imply that Keys is a substitute when Beyonce isn’t available.
@Ms. Hall,
“I think that when we say one can “blow” that implies that there is a certain (natural) soulfulness to their voice and their delivery of a song.”
*nods*
Beyonce is “soulful” in the same way Dick Cheney is “human”.
@Ms. Hall,
It’s a slap in the face to imply that Keys is a substitute when Beyonce isn’t available.
to whose?
@V.E.G.,
I’m gonna put my name on the line and actually co-sign. Love makes it right (shrugs). Love is hard enough, TRUE LOVE? that ish is like finding the holy grail, stranded on avalon, in front of the fountain of youth with excalibur laying beside it.
I would think anybody who has been in love would understand. It’s not fair—but neither is love and war.
Bond. BlkBond.
@BlkBond,
what exactly is your definition of true love?
@The Champ,
You can’t define it in words; to do so would be an exercise in futility. You know it when it hits you.
@V.E.G.,
I also cannot fault Alicia (or Swizz) for pursuing the thing that connected them. If what they have is real, they should have
question: in your opinion, is there anything that a connection like that doesnt supersede, any act that’s too faulty and foul for any justification? like, if you’re dating a guy and he found out that your 19 year old daughter is his soulmate, would you be ok with it being what it is?
@The Champ,
Good question! And further, does that make you selfish for not wanting him to go there cause “if you loved him, you’d want him to be happy”?
@Me fail english? and The Champ,
both GREAT questions!!
@V.E.G.,
VEG, usually I rock you. We both from the NO. But, come on now.
It’s not unfortunate when you commit adultery.
It’s effed up.
I’m not a fan of divorce, but if you truly feel like you can’t be with someone, society has set up acceptable ways to move on. You do not have to violate your marriage vows to get some love.
Swizz Beats is a bastard for what he did. And Alicia Keys is a trifling how in my book.
Adulterers are trifling and selfish, I feel no sympathy for their pathos.
I know im like 8 years late, but i couldnt have said this better myself well spoken V.E.G
The “soulmates” argument is good in theory, but I still say a.keys was wrong. She knew this man was married before she even started the process of getting to know him (and eventually falling in love). THAT is why she is a harlot.
@melekaj, add a big ole Allegedly to my comment since i don’t know that for a fact.
@melekaj,
Allege my asz! lol
Regardless of what stage of the marriage she walked in on, she knew they were married. Now whether or not its right (or smart) to jump on husband whose marriage seems to be in disrepair…I wouldnt expect A. Keys (an unmarried woman, with unmarried parents) to think the way I would. But Swizz?
@melekaj,
THAT is why she is a harlot.
i’d argue that the excessive camel toe made her a harlot, but different strokes and sh*t
@melekaj,
I truly appreciate ur use of the word “harlot.” Kudos.
1. i cannot wait until pam & jim get married (i’m probably going to buy a bottle of chimay and celebrate…no i won’t that’s ridiculous. i never get that tied up in fictional characters and fairy tale love stories)
2. soulmates don’t exist
3. no one pursues love at all costs because they either a) settle or b) fear hurting their loved ones by chasing the ‘spark’.
4. if anyone does pursue love at all costs, it should be the man. Otherwise, the woman will play herself.
5. I love John Krasinski and “Jim” and I adore his and Pam’s inside jokes on the show.
6. I’m probably going to cry during the show because I get teary eyed everytime they play that wedding toast promo on NBC.
@Miss Patterson,
“no one pursues love at all costs because they either a) settle or b) fear hurting their loved ones by chasing the ’spark’.”
This is sad to me. And I agree that there is no such thing as a soul mate. Only soulful relationships.
@Miss Patterson,
4. if anyone does pursue love at all costs, it should be the man. Otherwise, the woman will play herself.
As if men can’t play themselves….
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
It seems it’s always ok for men to play themselves.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, this is true, but in my experience we have a lower success rate when we (women) pursue. if we pursue we may experience some brief mutual spark with the guy, but it is fleeting. on the otherhand, when dudes pursue it often results in a love affair that is more lasting.
@Miss Patterson,
I agree.
@Miss Patterson,
Maybe it’s just me, but it’s been my experience that I can meet someone once and weeks later still be interested in them even if for work/school reasons we’ve not had opportunities to chat/etc. But the reverse has never been true.
@Miss Patterson,
well i was totally gonna invite you over to celebrate the Beesly-Halpert union but since you wanna act all brand new, i’ll drink my good wine SOLO. poo on you.
@Gem of the Ocean,
#1 should be read with sarcasm. girl, i love pam & jim. i just can’t be broadcasting my sh*t like that. you know how these vsb thugs love talkin’ trash.
@Miss Patterson,
3. no one pursues love at all costs because they either a) settle or b) fear hurting their loved ones by chasing the ’spark’.
or maybe the pursuit isn’t worth it. i mean, i dont know, whats the point of the destination if the journey’s adversity takes 10 years off of your life?
@The Champ,
I’d actually rather die young but live to the max then grow old and useless
(like Jaz-O).One of my biggest fears is ending up like Brooke Astor, an old invalid that everybody sees as a burden. I might just off myself behind that one. Okay, I wouldnt cuz Im Catholic and I think God sends you straight to hell for suicide but I’d be depressed and miserable.
@The Champ,
cuz in that moment, brief though it may be, u get the opportunity to experience what some persons having been searching for their entire life….bliss. it’s like nothing else matters now that u’ve given and been the recipient of true love. everything else could fade away into nothing…
in the end true love is all consuming and sometimes very selfish cuz it always leaves u wanting more
I think the real question is this: why is a grown woman handling her business on Twitter?
I understand she is hurt. And that Alicia hasn’t returned her calls (but, if you jacked a woman’s husband…would you call her back?) but the internet is not the place to work through your issues.
She’s hurting, yes. But I call publicity stunt.
@V.E.G.,
i dont even know if it’s a publicity stunt, so to speak. the internet “outing” was bogus but i think she thought she’d come off classy and gain sympathy/pity by publicly acknowledging the dirt goin on with her man and akeys. and there are PLENTY of ppl who are moved by her story and are clinging to her side. i just think its silly.
@V.E.G.,
From my understanding, she doesn’t have any product to promote so I don’t think it’s a publicity stunt and she’s never came off as an attention whore to me.
Although one may not agree with the internet “outing”, that’s just her way of dealing with the situation. That probably makes her feel better and a tad bit happy and relieved to have gotten it off her chest. Aren’t you an advocate for obtaining happiness by any means necessary even if it hurts others?
@Monk,
Honestly, this isn’t even the first time Mashonda went public with this. Some time ago she went on a radio show about it (wound up on YBF). Then she released another statement. I think she’s just going through a crazy (crazy cuz she’s doing it so publicly and she got kids!!), embittered woman phase more than an attn whore phase.
@Me fail english?, plus, she’s said (even in her long as twitter letter) that she’s made attempts to reach out that have been unreturned.
now, what exactly she’s reaching out for? me no know. maybe she needs a hug and since alicia keys writes such inspirational and empowering woman music, she felt she’d be a good person to go to. you know, aside from the whole “you stole my husband” sidebar.
lol.
@Monk,
That probably makes her feel better and a tad bit happy and relieved to have gotten it off her chest. Aren’t you an advocate for obtaining happiness by any means necessary even if it hurts others?
touche and sh*t
@V.E.G.,
Publicity stunt in what way?? I don’t believe Mashonda has any movies or albums to promote.
@TLC,
she seeks sympathy in the court of public opinion. These actions are also to sway public opinion of A.Keys. She is hurting, and wants her to her also.
Bond.
@TLC, even if mashonda had an album or movie coming out…SHE STILL wouldn’t have shit to promote.
that’s deep…like an alicia keys song.
@Panama Jackson,
Mashonda wasn’t doing junk even when she was singing…lol
This is the most press she’s had in years. She should be paying Twitter for the pub.
@V.E.G.,
My question is why are people following Swizz Beat’s wife (to the point of knowing the details of the “tued” (twitter fued, I think I just made that up) between her and Alicia Keys. Besides being his wife, who is Mashonda?
@Imperfect, b/c in the world of Black gossip…dysfunctional relationships are always front page news.
@V.E.G., -Completley agree on the publicity stunt aspect. She must have a book, album or website thats going to drop soon.
Why did she expect AK to call her back anyway? She doesn’t have anything to say to her. Mashonda should be dealing with Swizz. HE owes her an explanation. HE owes her the respect to step away till he handled his business. That wasn’t AKs responibility.
@journey78,
Mashonda actually put at the end of the letter that she does NOT have an album or book coming out so folks can kill the “publicity stunt” noise.
Hmm… unless she’s tryna get a VH1 reality TV show. YUP! That’s what she doing. O_o
@V.E.G.,
It doesn’t really matter to me what her motives were. I think her decision was stupid, but that will never change my opinion on Alicia Keys’ decision to start banging a married man?
Respect the covenant.
I’m not following the story, but maybe Swizz saw an opening to trade up to a bigger star and went for it? Ain’t like Keys was his high school sweetheart or a chick he wanted for years before meeting Mashonda.
I think that sometimes about those women I’ve wanted for years, or those ladies that have kind of a “first love” status. Like if the opportunity comes and it feels like an old friend or favorite movie, she’s as bad as before and such, and I’m as single as they come, I’d be an idiot not to get it in. But homewrecking ain’t worth it on either end.
Entertainment types seem to play by different rules though.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, they sure do. evidenced by the INSANE support for a motherf*cking admitted, guilty pleading, child sodomizing movie director.
maybe that’s just white Hollywood…
@Panama Jackson,
maybe that’s just white Hollywood…
lol, we do it too. having a great skill gets you a ton of “look the other way” points with us.
Mashonda is placing the blame on the wrong person. It hurts when your man leaves you, but putting Alicia Keys on full blast will not bring her husband back. I personally do believe in a soul mates and sometimes you meet them in less than ideal situations.
@Leila,
Agree on Mashonda.
Disagree on soulmates, lol. BUT I agree you find soulful relationships in less than ideal relationships. Takes courage, yes…courage, to go after it. Worrying about public opinion and etiquette has left many a person lonely and unhappy.
@Leila, yeah, I do find that corny as hell when jilted SOs blame the other person, as if their mate is an idiot who doesn’t think for him or herself and does whatever the last person in their ear says. And if that person is that easily led astray, they weren’t for you to begin with.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
indeedy doo.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Amen.
@Leila, I’on know.. I don’t feel like she did that to get Swizz back.. I feel like she fired off because she was pissed after reading that question from A.Keys and had a “hold-on-now-Byt^*” moment.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Yeah. I’m thinking she “snapped”. Cant front that would piss me off too if some chick was banging out my “aint shet” husband and then talking all that lovey dovey. Dont think I’d twit-attack tho! haha
@Me fail english?, Me either, “what’s her address?” lol
@Nicki Sunshine, that’s how i view it. i think she got tired of it all being thrown in her face while they’re still “pretending” nothing is going on and sh*t. like…c’mon you silly trollop, cut out the theatrics.
@Panama Jackson,
Hell yeah. Before I heard Mashonda get into this, it was already public. The gossip sites were talmbout Swizz cancelled his own shows to follow Keys on tour. He denied it. Next thing you now he’s having European bday bashes. I think if I was Mashonda I’d go crazy too! I was annoyed with Jay and Bey playing coy and Jay was never even my man.
@Me fail english?,
I was annoyed with Jay and Bey playing coy and Jay was never even my man.
lmao ebff you stoopit!!
@Me fail english?,
“I was annoyed with Jay and Bey playing coy and Jay was never even my man.”
I hate the celeb coy game in general! It only lures MORE attention toward your hypothetical relationship. I mean, they claim they don’t speak on it because it’ll give them unwanted attention. Well, what do you think playing coy does?! Especially if folks always see leaked photos of you getting your cuddle on.
@Panama Jackson, Exactly… At some point, classy gets thrown out the window, especially when people keep taking shots at you.
@Nicki Sunshine,
At some point, classy gets thrown out the window, especially when people keep taking shots at you
and midgets
@Leila,
Mashonda is placing the blame on the wrong person
see, i’ve always felt that in situations like this, both people share the blame. while they’re obviously not as responsible as the person in the relationship, the “other” person is f*cking faulty as hell too
@The Champ,
Prec-xactly. Why is A. Keys getting a pass cuz her role was less wrong?
@Me fail english?,
i dont even think akeys role was LESS wrong. just a different type of wrong. no matter how you look at it, sin is sin, cheating is cheating, and rude is RUDE.
akeys is very much to blame. she just doesnt owe anything to mashonda whereas swizz, the legally wedded hubby, needs to owe up to breaking his vows.
@Leila,
Methinks Mashonda already cussed Swizz out and addressed him, but thought it was time to address “The Other Woman.” And I doubt that the objective of the letter was to get Swizz back. In fact, has everyone even read this letter? Folks are acting like Mashonda is on bended knee saying “I thought God had given up on me.”
“True love supercedes all” is only true when both parties are single and unmarried. Pretending that adultery is ok b/c “it’s the greatest love of all” is cow manure. I am so over people trying to justify mess with the true love stamp of approval. Abusive SOs/victims do it, adulterers do it, everyone does it to justify their actions. If it was truly meant to be for Alicia and Swizz, then it would have happened without him having to step out on his wife. To me, AK looks like any other silly homewrecking heffa dating a married man who thinks the relationship is “true love.” I’ve seen this same story played over and over again on Lifetime. And it doesn’t end well for any of the characters involved…..
And I think the term “soulmates” is another convenient term used to justify nonsense. Of all of the happily married people I know, I’ve never heard any of them refer to each other as soulmates. But, I have heard my girl use the term “soulmate” to justify staying with a verbally & emotionally abusive man…. It seems to me when there is real true love, you don’t go around saying things like that b/c it looks like you are trying to convince others it’s true…or maybe you are trying to convince yourself…..
IDK…I’m going to bed. But good post Champ. I think you may be having the best week ever! But don’t tell PJ I said that…..
@insomN.I.A., IDK…I’m going to bed. But good post Champ. I think you may be having the best week ever! But don’t tell PJ I said that…..
its okay. i actually agree.
and i think you’re right. people do tend to qualify their misdeeds in the romantic realm with words like “true love” and “but it’s so real” or “soulmates” to justify to other folks why they had to take that opportunity when it presented themselves despite the fallout from it, be it perception, damage, or STD.
@insomN.I.A.,
IDK…I’m going to bed. But good post Champ. I think you may be having the best week ever! But don’t tell PJ I said that…..
thanks and sh*t. and i’ll edit this post and add some profanity so his job will block vsb today and he doesnt see that.
@The Champ,
LMAO! It’s a little too late, but I do appreciate your moxie!!
@insomN.I.A.,
I fully agree, true and healthy love needs no justification, the sooner folks realize that the happier we all will be
Hey guys! look Ads by Google is advertising ‘Love O Meters’! I’m going to check this out and report back in the morning. Perhaps *this* will be my crystal ball of love.
@Miss Patterson, i’m back…they’re only $4 (50% off of the regular price) and they look like water bongs with fun straws in the middle. purple and green are sold out, but the red and blue ones are stiill available. phew! thank God!
@Miss Patterson, not sure if i should call a shrink to come see you or thank you for being the first to take the plunge.
like with the Obama Chia thing…
@Miss Patterson,
no more wing night for you
Totally funny: so many of the folks calling A. Keys a home wrecker now would have bet you a he!!a loot a few years back that she was lesbian.
@V.E.G.,
my jury’s still out on that….lol
@shatani,
word. I wouldnt be surprised to hear she was bi *shrugs*
@V.E.G., i STILL think she munches rug on the side. that’s probably why Swizz is so stuck on her…freesomes.
@V.E.G.,
I’m not completely Xing out A Key’s being from the Isle of Lesbo. Just cuz she found her a toothpick with a XY chromosome don’t mean she’ont lust for the XX still.
@V.E.G.,
lol, you can be both. sh*t, look at john edwards
My uncle left his first wife for his current one. The first wife was pregnant at the time. His 7 sisters (including my mom) gave him the side eye and treated her so badly. That was 25 years ago. And they are still together.
Did my uncle and my aunt (who I love dearly) behave admirably. Probably not. But they are down for each other.
@V.E.G.,
just becuz things work out in the end (man and sidepiece-turned-wife) doesn’t mean that generally rude immorality hasn’t taken place and/or should be excused. and i think that is the real issue. if you have to sneak around, lie, cheat, and conceal then you are WRONG.
but if you are married and find out it’s not working and you’d rather be with some one else, then cut your loses and bow out. yeah the spouse is gonna get hurt, but better heartbroken and abandoned then heartstabbed and sh*tted on. and still abandoned
@Gem of the Ocean,
“heartstabbed and sh*tted on. and still abandoned”
You make it sound so bad. :-p
@V.E.G.,
lol well in my mind (and maybe I’M the delusional one) having your husband — and father of your child — cheat on you and have a fairly public relationship with another woman sounds bad enough to warrant such a description. the only thing that could make that hurt more is an STD. and i mean “hurt” literally and figuratively.
@Gem of the Ocean,
cheating on me and leaving me = I just move on. Maybe go to a counselor.
giving me an STD = I acquire a weapon.
@V.E.G.
lmao. right.
cheating + leaving = i move on.
cheating + STD = you pass on. to heaven. amen.
@Gem of the Ocean,
“but if you are married and find out it’s not working and you’d rather be with some one else, then cut your loses and bow out. yeah the spouse is gonna get hurt, but better heartbroken and abandoned then heartstabbed and sh*tted on. and still abandoned.”
Yep.
idk…I used to believe in the concept of soulmates. But now its more or less ending up with someone you like/love enough to tolerate bs and all on a regular basis. If it works for you…then go for it. God speed.
My parents relationship is the only long term stable relationship I’ve ever seen and I’ve never heard my momma call my daddy her “soulmate”. Yet she’ll say in a heartbeat “I knew he was rhe one I was gonna marry/spend my life with…etc.” all day long.
or I’m just jaded from the recent end of my relationship….eh who knows.
I don’t follow the AK/SB/Mashonda drama…just like I don’t watch lifetime movies. So I don’t really care about them. Has nothing to do with me.
@Ro,
lol, this might be the most aggressively apathetic comment ever left on vsb. congrats and sh*t
@The Champ, Thanks. I try. Not really…but sometimes.
oh, i totally just commented on this situation.
first, let me say that i don’t think they are soulmates–i’m not even sure if i believe in the concept of “soulmates.” you’re a different person who needs different things at different points in your life. and there are a few people who can make you happy. or other people who might not make you happy, but yall work–you get the job done. anyway, i digress.
if this story is true, and i tend to believe it is, as the divorce between those two still isn’t final and a keys and swizz are clearly together, a keys is foul. i’m sorry. i’m sorry for being judgmental or not having a more open mind, but it’s foul and i can’t abide by it. assuming that they ARE soulmates, then there should have been a divorce before any cohabitational, birthday party throwing and what not ever took place. sure, mashonda would still be hurt, but alicia keys as the 3rd party would have covered her ass, for all karmic purposes.
to answer the question: “is it okay to make yourself happy at the expense of others?” sometimes it has to be that way, but this keys/mashonda situation isn’t about that. it’s about doing things the right way. i don’t know all the facts, maybe a keys and the married man have never slept together or carried on like grown folks, but if they have, they’re both wrong. and it’s not about sacrificing happiness for someone else, it’s just that there’s a right way for them to be together and a wrong way.
i don’t stay up late at night thinking about it—-or, oh wait….i guess i am right now….–but this whole a keys thing is foul. not uncommon or unique, but foul. but then, she always seemed wack to me anyway(her legs look like little stubby hamhocks. where they do that at?), so whatever.
@charli skipp,
“her legs look like little stubby hamhocks”
Now you know her momma is white. And white women tend to have thick calves, giving ‘em a hammock leg look.
@V.E.G.,
as a woman with tiny ankles, i never understood that some women could have calves with similar diameters as their ankles.
@Gem of the Ocean,
they’re called CANKLES!!!
@Gem of the Ocean,
me neither. i never understood the concept of cankles. until someone showed me a picture of a keys in a skirt. and, yaaasssssssssss, i had my aha moment.
@charli skipp, really, her ankles ruined her for me.
also, my mother swore she couldnt vote for hillary clinton b/c of her cankles.
apparently there is no cankle-love outside of fetish pr0n.
btw, the thought of fetish cankle pr0n has literally just frightened me.
@charli skipp,
LMFAO @ seeing Alicia Keys’ cankles (or any cankles for that matter) being your aha moment. I expect you to write some special, heartfelt snippet in O Magazine or something.
@charli skipp,
Yeah A Keys’ cankles make me do the Lil Mama Sad Face.
btw, the thought of fetish cankle pr0n has literally just frightened me.
obviously you wouldn’t be into this romainian p*rn i just discovered then
@charli skipp,
Yeah, if they’re so in love why couldn’t they be more privately happy?
@charli skipp,
you’re a different person who needs different things at different points in your life. and there are a few people who can make you happy. or other people who might not make you happy, but yall work–you get the job done. anyway, i digress
after reading this earlier, i thought this would make more sense to me later on, after i’ve eaten.
it doesnt
@The Champ,
sense deez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@charli skipper,
LOL, ok.
***parting questions from an insomniac champ***
let’s say soulmates and all that other gushy sh*t does exist. does it even matter? in relationshop terms, is having that “spark” overrated?
i mean, can you be truly happy and deeply in love and sh*t without meeting and being with your “perfect match”? is it worth throwing away the safe and consistently very good meal I have on the dining room table just to hit up a new restaurant that possibly might have the best meal I’ll ever have? lastly, why can’t I go to sleep?
@The Champ, in relationshop terms, is having that “spark” overrated?
Me personally, I wouldn’t be in a committed relationship without that “spark”. The spark is what makes it worth it, in my opinion… but i’m a woman lol… men settle all the time, and languish in relationships of convenience. Then decide that they want to leave when they do find the “spark”, leaving a trail of broken hearts in their wake.
@pgh muse,
Amen ED! You said it all there.
No spark, no start!
@pgh muse, but does the spark remain forever? i mean sparks by definition are just quick flickers that draw your attention. sure some folks just have that constant flickering, but that’s that fire and desire, rick james love sh*t.
i think the spark just gets you to the relationship. a mutual love of coming to america is what keeps you there.
@Panama Jackson,
“i think the spark just gets you to the relationship.”
I agree. I’m not sure how other define spark but to me, it’s the early time period when the other person can do no wrong, all they do if make you smile, you are literally goo goo gaa gaa. A spark is superficial and pretty much an infatuation. A spark can not last forever. According to poster at the last neuroscience conference, it doesn’t last more than 3-6 months after the first meeting. I’ll spare the details of how they defined spark, but they looked at dopamine and reward and limbic (emotions) pathways.
@Ivy St.,
This is very interesting. Please continue…I would actually like to know more.
Bond.
@Ivy St.,
lol i <3 neuro geeks!!!!! yay for SFN!!!! and i saw that poster too. quite interesting…
Ivy & Gem coming to a city (Chicago) near you in just 1 week!! yay
@Panama Jackson,
i think the spark just gets you to the relationship. a mutual love of coming to america is what keeps you there.
I agree with this. I wonder if there are people who jump from relationship to relationship because the “spark” starts to flicker, and they now have to actually work on the relationship? You know, do people sit up one day and realize they have nothing in common with the SO other than this spark they felt initially?
@N.I.A. N.I.A. bo-bia….,
To your first question, yes these people exist. I call him my cousin. 6 kids later and still looking for new sparks. smh
@Panama Jackson, I think it can. People grow together. I think a strong attraction is what makes people commit to one another and want to go thru the fire with their mate. But… they say you can grow to love someone based on common interests. Idk… i’ve never been there.
@Panama Jackson,
well said
@pgh muse,
how do you define “spark”?
@The Champ, haha! Good question. I would say that it’s a mutually felt really really really strong attraction. A serious connection. Like you see that person and you hear drums and shyt playing in the background when they walk
. It’s just deep.
@pgh muse,
so there’s no difference between sparks and being schizophrenic?
@The Champ,
hahaha! Maybe not!
@Champ,
I also want to add, though, that I don’t think that the “soulmate” love at first sight type of attraction is the only kind of attraction. You can have a normal attraction to an attractive person – it happens all the time and build on that. A person may never feel that strong an attraction to anyone in life. Ever. I don’t think that a love that grows in a different way than love at first sight is any less substantial than a love that burned from the start. I guess i’m saying that love is love. However you get there. And throwing away a perfectly good relationship for an ideal may not be wise.
@The Champ, I agree with PGH, that the spark makes it worth it. I don’t see myself fighting to keep or work on something that I’ll know is just there, and has become routine.
That being said, some people can be happy and truly in love without meeting their perfect match…. those are the people that compromise, IMHO.
@Nicki Sunshine,
“That being said, some people can be happy and truly in love without meeting their perfect match…. those are the people that compromise.”
…but, wouldn’t that be called “settling”? Which from what I hear, to be one of the worst things you can do in modern relationships today.
@AkShone, Nah, I think settling is different.. settling is when you are taking a short, so to speak.
Compromise is say, I say I don’t want a man who has children and I meet a man that has everything else that I want but he has a child, and I end up accepting it.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Some would still call that settling. I don’t, but it still is compromising your standards to a degree.
I guess it’s a matter of subjectivity, which I’ve always thought “settling” was anyway.
@Nicki Sunshine,
i’m with Nik Nik on this. compromising your standards and compromising your actions are two very different things.
compromise is absolutely necessary for any working partnership — be it in business, a class project, a 3-legged race, a marriage, etc. no 2 ppl are ever going to act exactly the same, think the same, or process information the same. therefore in order to merge 2 different ideas or solutions, compromises MUST be made.
you can change things about you and how you do things without changing who you are.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Word ‘em ups, gee.
I liken settling to a feeling of not getting what you want and just taking it.
Not, basically getting what you want plus some isht you didnt want… but dont consider a dealbreaker.
The smiley’s are key.
@AkShone,
Is it really settling when the idea of actually meeting your soulmate is unknown? Can you only have a soulmate that lives within a a 50 sq. mile radius? What if you live in California and your soulmate in Brazil? I don’t think being reasonable is settling. Actually finding someone that you like and that actually likes you is not that easy. So why leave a good thing?
@Ivy St.,
Is it really settling when the idea of actually meeting your soulmate is unknown? Can you only have a soulmate that lives within a a 50 sq. mile radius? What if you live in California and your soulmate in Brazil?
good questions and sh*t
@Ivy St.,
“Is it really settling when the idea of actually meeting your soulmate is unknown? ”
Not to me, I agree with you, but I’ve heard and read (even instances on this blog) that settling is not getting what you desire in your mate…whether it be physically, financially and/or mentally.
Truth is, that there are a number of people who view compromise as settling and view it as being synonomous.
@The Champ,
Having the spark is not overrated. I only think you know this if you have ever been there though; it’s an exclusive club that not everyone gets to experience.
Yes, you can be ‘truly’ and ‘deeply’ in love without the perfect match. I think people (and their relationships) evolve; as a result of such, plain ol’ “we match up together and give each other no problems” love turn into something spiritual; but when you meet someone that you feel that from just from looking at them, from the first meeting…WOW. It is scary.
I would say it is worth throwing away the safe and consistent—-then again, that is my personality, I’m an “all or nothing” guy. I want what I want or I don’t want anything. I don’t believe in settling. I would rather burn out, than fade away (word to the Rat Pack).
Bond. BlkBond.
P.S. I have those sleep problems, you should try a sleep aid. I usually have to take one at 7 or 8 just fall asleep at midnight.
@BlkBond,
Well said and I agree. Some of us NEED the spark to get started or we won’t be able to overcome the boredom/disappointment/friction that would otherwise be inevitable…and will opt for singlehood.
I’d rather die alone than with a “B-”.
@BlkBond,
“but when you meet someone that you feel that from just from looking at them, from the first meeting…WOW. It is scary.”
Very.
@BlkBond,
Having the spark is not overrated. I only think you know this if you have ever been there though; it’s an exclusive club that not everyone gets to experience
thing is, i have been there before. but, after two years (and some other issues) that sh*t faded, and i realized that i was freakin engaged to someone i liked alot but the relationship was running on two year old infatuation fumes.
@The Champ, That’s interesting. I also think that relationships can run their course. Marriage is a choice either way. You could have chose to stay with your ex-fiance. How do you know that your love for her wouldn’t be rekindled?
@pgh muse,
Good question. I think if he moved from spark to disdain they’d actually have a better chance of rekindling stuff. But to move from spark to indifference I’d probably cut my losses too.
That whole A.Keys and Tucan Sam issue is so…difficult. We’re all outsiders looking in. We don’t really know what happened to Tucan’s relationship with Mashonda or how his relationship started to form with A.Keys. Because he is married, even if he was having problems with his wife, I do believe A. Keys should have just waited to be romantically involved with him. Even if Tucan was pressing the issue of them getting together, I believe a woman should have enough respect for another woman, not to do her like that. And how can A.Keys really be able to trust him knowing that he’s married or even take him seriously? Karma will definitely bite her in the ass.
@SimplyMe,
I dont even believe in karma and I agree with everything you said. I’m tired of women acting like “well her husband should be the one upholding the vows”. True, but you also should be respecting other women. You can’t be moving bodies across state lines talmbout I was an only an accomplice, the murderer shoulda made sure he wasnt murdering. Ok…what bearing does this have on your guilt or innocence.
@Me fail english?, this is the very reason i stopped being a drug dealer. sure it paid the bills and if i didn’t do it somebody else would, but i had to have more respect for myself.
by the way, some percent of that statement was a lie.
@Panama Jackson,
zero percent? Haha.
@Me fail english?, i can neither confirm nor deny that percentage.
@SimplyMe,
“Karma will definitely bite her in the ass.”
And thats a lotta *ss to bite (No Wanda Sykes. I’m just saying. Even Stevie Wonder could see that yansh of hers. Yes I’m jealous.)
@SimplyMe,
Karma will definitely bite her in the ass.
or it won’t, and she’ll continue to be rich, famous, happy, and in love.
@The Champ,
or it will and she’ll be rich, miserable, and alone.
I think soulmates exist, but you have to meet them at a time when ripe. can’t meet/get with a soulmate too early or too late. that’s why i’m not too worried about dating stuff, i know i will meet him someday.
i been feelin kinda bad listening to some akeys tracks lately. im a big fan, but i cant get down with being with a married man, even if separated. and then on top of that, it’s messing up your squeaky clean image? You can’t let a dude get between you and your ability to keep your paper straight. pfft.
@Liz,
“You can’t let a dude get between you and your ability to keep your paper straight. pfft.”
I doubt that Alicia Keys will lose endorsement deals and stop selling concert tix b/c she shacked up w/ Swizz. Americans love to stand on high moral grounds for quick secs. But I bet folks gon forget they mad by the time her newest tour comes around. H*ll, I know I am.
Yes, I admit my shallowness.
@Liz,
I think soulmates exist, but you have to meet them at a time when ripe. can’t meet/get with a soulmate too early or too late.
so, a soulmate is basically a watermelon.
@The Champ,
“so, a soulmate is basically a watermelon.”
Champ, have u been sent to the Corner lately? U really need to be on timeout.
I think this, and situations similar to this are difficult. Or at least my feelings on such issues are
I fully believe in soulmates! I don’t believe we always end up with them. I believe somewhere in the search, we get exhausted and settle. But I believe that each person was created to be another’s perfect match
I also believe ideally marriage is for LIFE! When you stand before God and all your loved ones and promise to love and honor and cherish and be together through sickness and health, good and bad, all that. It is a vow to commit. And vows should not be made then broken. I believe that mariage is a sacred union and all parties involved should always work on maintaining that union at least until all options have been exhausted
Thirdly, I believe that true love is undeniable and when it comes along, any attempts to deny it are futile and simply shouldn’t be made. But accepting your love for another and persuing a relationship with them are totally different
All that being said, I find it repulsive that any woman would knowingly and willingly pursue a relationship with a married man. And equally as repulsive for the married man. And while I don’t like the term “homewrecker” for AK, she was/is dead wrong. And Swizz Beat’s actions, IMHO, speak volumes about his character
But I can totally understand why they may have thought it was okay for them to pursue each other if what they have is that true undeniable love. I’d respect them more if they had waited until after the divorce. And believe that if they were soulmates, they’d have went about starting their relationship the right way. But love isn’t just a spark, it’s an eternal flame. If they went for that spark it’s gonna take a lotta work to maintain that fire and I hope Ms. Keys doesn’t meet the fate she gave another
End Rant
@Imperfect, But love isn’t just a spark, it’s an eternal flame. If they went for that spark it’s gonna take a lotta work to maintain that fire and I hope Ms. Keys doesn’t meet the fate she gave another…
This is deep.
@Imperfect,
“it’s gonna take a lotta work to maintain that fire ”
Exactly. And given Swizz’ track record, doesnt seem like working on a rel’ship (esp in the face of a shiny new toy) is smthg he’s adept to.
@Imperfect, But I can totally understand why they may have thought it was okay for them to pursue each other if what they have is that true undeniable love. I’d respect them more if they had waited until after the divorce. And believe that if they were soulmates, they’d have went about starting their relationship the right way.
i dont know. there’s two ways to look at it. 1) we’re soulmates – we’re destined to be together so i’ll be here when you get your paper’s right; or 2) we’re soulmates – why we bullsh*ttin…we’re meant to be so we cant’ deny ourselves our trueness while the divorce process goes thru its motions, let’s make beautiful music together for whitney houston.
depends on how they view that paradigm. assuming of course that they are “soulmates”.
@Panama Jackson,
thats the thing. if you’re truly destined to be with each other, whats wrong with waiting a bit until the coast is clear?
@The Champ,
Yes!
And in order for them to be soulmates, they have to have a soul. People with souls usually try to do right. Being an adulterer is not the right thing. My opinion, if they feel they are soulmates, they wanna do everything possible to make sure their relationship is right. And it can’t be right if he is married to somebody else.
AK is the sideline chick. Guys just don’t commit to that girl!
That’s the man’s fear COMMITTING TO THE WRONG PERSON. In that respect, if you feel that the right one has come along, you owe it to yourself to be happy. But be RESPECTFUL. Don’t go flaunting your relationship for everybody to see, and you still have something going on with someone else. Triangles are not cool. Situations can be handled simply by COMMUNICATION…
@Da Iceman, “But be RESPECTFUL. Don’t go flaunting your relationship for everybody to see, and you still have something going on with someone else. ”
exactly. this is my biggest and really only issue with this entire Keys/Swizz/Mashonda situation.
@Da Iceman,
Yeah, I can’t deal with no triangles, either.
And yes, the publicity of their relationship adds a whole ‘nother level. It’s one thing to disrespect someone in general, it’s a whole ‘nother thing to disrespect them in front errbody and their grandma.
@Cheekie, LOL Sho Nuff
@Da Iceman,
That’s the man’s fear COMMITTING TO THE WRONG PERSON.
TOUCHE
Based on what I know of the sitch, I think A. Keys is wrong. I’m not going to crucify her, but I do think she is wrong. If Swizz Beats wasn’t AT LEAST legally separated, she’s dead wrong. I don’t think there is anything wrong with living one’s life and being happy… I actually think that we are put here to do that. Live life and be happy. But there are some boundaries I think should be respected. Marriage is one of them. If he was unhappy he should have had the balls to end his marriage as humanely as possible (who knows though, maybe he tried and she wouldn’t sign the papers… idk speculation), before being in a relationship with Alicia. Such a public relationship, to boot. They should have showed some respect. After he was at least separated or divorced go for it. But he should have made sure his loose ends with his soon to be ex-wife were tied up. If Alicia and Swizz are so much “soulmates” their relationship could have waited till he made sure everything was taken care of with his wife.
About soulmates. Meh. I think people can have quite a few different loves during the course of a lifetime if they are open to it. I don’t really think that there is ONE burning forever love out there for everyone. There could be if you work hard as HE!! to make that shyt work… I say love the one you’re with that loves you. And if you didn’t love them and have that “spark” when you met them then why are you with them? You settled from the word go.
@pgh muse, Marriage is definitely a boundary that should be respected… The only way Alicia is blameless is if she knew he was not married (which is slim to none).
@Nicki Sunshine,
Definitely slim to none. WE knew, so I know SHE knew. lol
@Cheekie,
And we knew she knew we knew.
@Luvvie,
and she knew that we knew that she knew that Mashonda knew.
@Cheekie, Precisely
@pgh muse, Marriage is definitely a boundary that should be respected… The only way Alicia is blameless is if she knew he was not married (which is slim to none).
@Nicki Sunshine,
true..marriage is a boundary that should be respected…especially by married folks.
@Smiley Face, AMEN!
What is a ‘soul mate’ anyway? The other half of my four-legged me pre-Zeus hissy fit as Wikipedia suggests? If it’s an affinity, two souls walking arm in arm, to the rhythmic chant of unicorns and leprechauns, as little angels poop rainbows and mango-lime scented rain, then my soul mate (barring the sexual affinity bit), is in all likelihood, a sexagenarian Burundian General as he gets me. Feh!
Fact. Scorched earth tactics by people in love will happen. If people are unhappy in their marriage, then unhappy spouse should leave, send a letter to Mary/John, move to Timbukto, whatever. But if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well. So it’s only honorable to leave spouse and then indulge in the great African love-story as others have commented. I however also think that sometimes cheaters cherry pick the unhappy spots and shine a spotlight on those instances “See! he was not happy!!”, but as with all things, that’s not something that can be looked at in isolation. Marriage has its sloughs of despond and sublime moments of pure happiness, and more day-to-day, general sense of happiness and well being. If someone deliberately capitalizes on the unhappy moments to assuage bruised egos, hurt feelings etc., then yeah, you’re culpable and I’ll judge the heck out of you. But more importantly, I’ll judge the cheating spouse as marriage vows are between two people. He swore to forsake all others and there’s no side MoU between me and “women of the world” in general. So if he chooses to stray, without the basic decency to first end it first with me, as far as I’m concerned, it’s on him.
@Wanjiru,
I however also think that sometimes cheaters cherry pick the unhappy spots and shine a spotlight on those instances “See! he was not happy!!”, but as with all things, that’s not something that can be looked at in isolation.
very good point and sh*t
Most people who take exception to this “unholy union” seem to be most concerned with appearance, karma, moral and social rituals and covention. Just because somebody you know is still married after a long time or waited to be unmarried before carrying on doesn’t mean they have been moral or right or karmically sound etc. Soulmates are an “ideal” that we’ve created to represent perfection out of imperfection. I do believe that more than 1 possible ideal or perfection exist contrary to text book definitions. If theres a first best chance it follows that there are multiple oppurtunities and probabilities of reaching ideals. We change, people change, everything changes, the ideal changes. Not just panty liners or the NBA playoffs but life is a game of adjustments. I really don’t care what Monesha Swizz and Alicia are doing. If it was me I’m capable of hurting or taking my chances like the parties involved.
@Matressmony, Well put!! I have followed this debate and your wise words have rang the truest! People; there’s a reason for the term ‘all’s fair in love and war’. Only thing I would do if I was s.beatz is end it gracefully and respectfully with the wife-don’t subject her to a media/twitter/facebook circus.
@Ohyeah,
People; there’s a reason for the term ‘all’s fair in love and war’
lol, i wouldnt cite that, mainly because history is full of people saying bullsh*t to justify their own ambitions. welcome and sh*t, btw
@The Champ,
Yeah right, Champ! Next thing you’re gonna tell me is that several parts of The Bible were written, edited, translated and re-written to justify slanted power dynamics and imperialist ambition. Oh wait…
@Matressmony,
welcome and sh*t
In my opinion, all parties involved are grown. Mrs. Beats should be handling her issues at home. If she was handling Mr. Beats she wouldn’t need to hunt down Ms. Keys. And on the other hand if Mr. Beats was a real man he would tell Mrs. Beats what the deal is, divorce and move on. Or tell Ms. Keys to kick rocks and take care of home. So both Mr. and Mrs. Beats are just selfish as can be. They both want to have their cake and eat it, he wants to keep both women and she wants to keep him and sharpen her claws on a new threat. Ms. Keys is blameless in my opinion. She is not the married one so that is not her problem. We can’t judge her moral responsibility, she can have him if he is willing to be had. Plus she has almost Papal level infalibility in my book! Seriously though, if you don’t have that “spark” with the one you are with and you are easily lead astray as Mr. Beats here then its time to pack it up. Also to be fair to Mr. Beats, how could he just walk away from that? Show me the married man that wouldn’t have some trouble saying “No Alicia I don’t want that slice of heaven!” She is fine enough to make me consider sex in church! Ha!
@BigBuck, lmao.
@BigBuck, LMAO!!
But you said what I was going to say….sorta.
@BigBuck,
Wow. I agree with almost none of this. I just like that you refer to them as Mr. & Mrs. Beatz. Funny.
@Me fail english?,
lol, i was going to say the same thing.
@Me fail english?,
lol i liked that too. even tho the rest of it made my eyes cross from doing multi-side eyeing.
@Gem of the Ocean,
“multi-side eyeing”
lol. This sounds like an olympic talent.
@BigBuck, though she’s not married, she still should just damn know better. the knowing, accepting, and condoning mistress is always wrong.
plus, it just seems dumb to put yourself in a situation where your relationship is going to play out in public like that. do your dirt by your lonely. don’t involve Bossip.
@BigBuck,
ugh. is alicia really that fine? forreal. chile, i need to do a google search, because lemme find out alicia keys is that girl. the thought of my man being attracted to her gives me an acid reflux-y type feeling…..real women have ankles. lol…………..
IMO cheating is wrong no matter the circumstances. It is wrong to be with another woman’s husband. However, you cannot blame the woman that man decides to get with for the destruction of his marriage.
The other does not destroy the marriage, the man that steps out destroys his own marriage. Yeah Alicia Keys is wrong for being with him but she is not to fault for Swizz problems with his wife.
He willingly left his marriage bed and home. No one can force a grown man to do something he does not want to do.
I guarantee you if it was not Alicia Keys it would have been someone else. Obviously he was not happy with what he had home so he choose something else.
As a married woman myself, the only person than can betray the marriage vows we made is my man and myself. Any outside source that we may allow to get between us is just a willing participant but not the source of destruction.
It’s all about choices. Each individual makes the choice to stay or to stray.
@Raqi,
As a married woman myself, the only person than can betray the marriage vows we made is my man and myself. Any outside source that we may allow to get between us is just a willing participant but not the source of destruction.
do you think the outside source is completely blameless?
@The Champ,
No not completely blameless, however they cannot get in unless we let or invite them.
No outside source ruins a relationship. Those within the relationship do it or allow it to be done.
I think there are soulmates, and I think people don’t always recognize their soulmates initially… we try to fit the square pegs into the round hole. I don’t know how happy Mashonda and Swizz Beats were (or were not) but the fact is, he was pursuing another woman while he was still married.
That’s just dead wrong. He should have ended his first relationship and moved on instead of bringing the bad karma into this new thing with Alicia…
Alicia is also dead wrong, allowing herself to be pursued by a man who was still married. They all need to sit down and have a conversation and I do believe Mashonda is owed some apologies here.
That being said, I still love Alicia and will still buy her beautiful music… She just needs to clean up this messiness.
But to answer your other question, no, the end does not justify the means… I believe what you give out to others is what you are going to get back….
@Nicki Sunshine, Alicia is also dead wrong, allowing herself to be pursued by a man who was still married. They all need to sit down and have a conversation and I do believe Mashonda is owed some apologies here.
while i agree that Swizz and Akeys are dead wrong, I don’t think anybody should really be apologizing to Mashonda. mostly..for what? it won’t make her feel better and it serves no real purpose.
AK: sorry, i shouldn’t have been publicly dating your husband while you two were separated. i should wait for him to sign the papers like usher.
Mashonda: thank you. i feel so much better now. let’s write a song together.
AK: no. don’t be mad that your b*tch chose me. your name is mashonda.
@Panama Jackson, LMAO! U are a hot mess for that conversation.
I think she is owed an apology because right now (from what is being shown publically, who knows how they are doing behind closed doors), they are skipping about in lovers land like they haven’t wronged this chick.. Shoot, I’d apologize for nothing else but to clear my own mind (or: karma)… I just wouldnt’ want that coming back to bite me later.
@Panama Jackson,
You’re in my brain today…I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that…o_O…*sniggles*
@Panama Jackson,
LMMFAO!!! Classic….
Bond.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL
I never got the concept of a home wrecker coming from OUTSIDE of the home. A Keys coulda huffed and puffed and tried to blow that house down, but if Swizz’s house was made of bricks all they would have is nice breeze. Do I think Keykey is blameless, no, after all she did try her hand BUT Swizz let her play it, he allowed her to step inside his marriage, big NO NO.
He should have been brave enough to sit Mashonda down and tell her what was going on. She shouldn’t have had to learn about her marriage from someone not involved….Swizz is a coward, instead of taking care of the situation, he is letting the situation is taking care of him and ‘shield’ him from the title of homewrecker.
This situation shouldn’t have even gotten this far. I don’t think Mashonda’s tweet was publicity in as much as last ditch shot of desperation and appeal to A Keys…which is still..I don’t want to say stupid but yeah…Swizz got off easy.
Why do women expect so much more from OTHER women instead of their own husbands…? Never got that either.
@Smiley Face,
Why do women expect so much more from OTHER women instead of their own husbands…?
I don’t get that, either. I mean, really?
@V.E.G., i don’t think akeys owes mashonda sh*t, but i do think that as much as women complain about men being trifling and dirty, i’d think that y’all would want to at least not be willing to be apart of the problem.
though i guess there really isn’t an honor amongst women code…
at least dudes got bros before hos
@Panama Jackson,
That’s what I’m talking about…let a man find out his girl is cheating…end game, cut scene and she’s all kinds of garden utensils from then on out. Some women start thinking in terms of “well maybe I should have done this or what is she that I am not?” F*ck that…take your selfish *zz and get, what they call, the f*ck out!
Some women feel the need to solve sh*t…no sir, get out my house, go stay with her, then come back and explain to your children why you don’t live here no more. Break my pride before you break my self esteem and self worth. Smiley don’t play that
@Smiley Face,
take your selfish *zz and get, what they call, the f*ck out!
cute lol
@Panama Jackson, I agree… women can’t expect men to treat us better if we are willing to lay down and screw another chick out of her man… and why NOT be accountable for another woman? Isn’t that what sisterhood is about?
I know a lot of women don’t believe in that and wouldn’t treat me the way that I treat them, but to knowingly effe another woman’s man is just messy… why would you want to start a relationship in a messy situation?
@Panama Jackson,
but i do think that as much as women complain about men being trifling and dirty, i’d think that y’all would want to at least not be willing to be apart of the problem
i agree. this is more proof, btw, that women are descendants of dick cheney
@The Champ,
Naw, men are decendants of Dick Cheney. Peep his first name as a reference.
I mean, if women are truly evil, why is the top dog of everything evil a dude?
because
@Smiley Face,
“Why do women expect so much more from OTHER women instead of their own husbands…? Never got that either.”
Neither did I. I always screamed at the TV in frustration at those Maury heffas that went STRAIGHT for the other woman when her man told her his “secret”.
Anything toward Alicia I had was for herself. Not so much for Mashonda, because no, I don’t think she owed her anything. Maybe it was the way I was taught, but I don’t share a man. I deserve more than that. And I think in terms of the “other woman”, instead of casting stones at her, I try to look at it as she should expect more of herself. Because even though he swooped over to you, he was still committed to another woman. She didn’t really have all of him. I don’t want half-a-man…
@Cheekie,
AKeys is playing the hand she dealt herself…too bad the hand she dealt was for poker not spades.
She settles for half a man she shouldn’t be surprised when that’s all what she gets.
@Smiley Face,
Word.
@Smiley Face,
Swizz got off easy.
I dunno. Maybe Swizz didnt catch the wrath of twitter cuz he’s not making tweets that can be misconstrued at jabs. She may very well be sending him hatemail and harangue-y texts.
@Me fail english?,
I’m not talking about the Twitter stuff.
I’m talking about the fact that all this buzz is dealing with the situation for him in a sense. He doesn’t have to tell Mashonda that he’s cheating, already done for him. Mashonda is still married to him..he gets two for one and has been for at least 2 years…that’s what I mean when I said he’s getting off easy.
They’re (Mr& Mrs) celebrating anniversaries and such and Keykey is throwing him bday parties…? Easy
@Smiley Face,
Hol’ up, I aint know they was still celebrating anniversaries? Now Im mad at all three of em.
But still, he still has two sons who most likely adore their mother…who is now a known public wreck. Those chickens shall come home to roost. The greatest gift a man can give his children is respect for their mother.
@Me fail english?,
She said as much in that tweet talmbout as far as she knew they were getting ready to celebrate their 5yr anniversary..she said her marriage wasn’t broken…(m’kaay), then she calls Keykey out
“The greatest gift a man can give his children is respect for their mother.”
ITA agree! That why I’m not lighting fire to AKeys so much…Oh hell yeah she’s getting the sideye BUT his 8zz gets the whole gas face like blechk!
@Me fail english?, I didn’t know that Mashonda and Swizz were still celebrating anniversaries and ish… dang Alicia. Now I want to call her a homewrecking heffa. That’s messed up.
The greatest gift a man can give his children is respect for their mother.
This is truth.
@Smiley Face,
Ok, I’m gonna start calling her KeyKey now.
Wait…WHAT?!
They’re celebrating anniversaries?!!
FTU: F their union.
@Cheekie, LOL at your calling her Keykey now
They were celebrating their 5th anniversary and birth of their new child.
@Smiley Face,
Why do women expect so much more from OTHER women instead of their own husbands…?
maybe they figure that there should be a certain code of decency among “sistas”
, something we all know is bullshit, lolJim and Pam….good for those those kids. I haven’t been able to watch the Office that much this season, but I’m glad to see those two finally make it official.
Alicia and Swizz. All I can say is “the you got ‘em is the way you’ll lose ‘em”. You can’t start a relationship based on some fcuked up ish. That’s like building a house in the mud. No solid foundation. Funny thing is the way I see things playing out is Swizz and Mashonda eventually get a divorce and Alicia will stay as the chick on the side. Then I see him bouncing out with someone else.
Soulmates? Yeah I believe it could happen. Yet that doesn’t give you the right to forgo all common sense and decency. Will you and your soulmate be together in the perfect stream of things? Yes. But more often than not there will be some kind of obstacle in the way. You have to decide if it’s really worth fighting for, and if it happens to involve a marriage, you have to take into account that there are more people involved then just the “soulmates”.
@miss t-lee,
X. WuDaMan (my co-signage)
It’s just disrespectful to end a relationship in order to start another.
@WuDaMan,
Why…thank you sir.
@miss t-lee, wudaman
get a room
I was in this same situation. I was married and my husband left me and our two kids for another woman. He is now married to her. At first, I hated that b8tch. I hated both of them. Now, we all co-parent together. We are civil. I have moved on. I had too move on. She and I will never be friends but we are civil for the sake of the kids.
Mashonda has to go thru all the stages of grief. She lost her husband/family. She is still in the anger and denial phase. Its a rough road ahead but she will get over it. I feel for her.
Alicia just has to remember, when you do something like this…so that you can be happy, it may come back around on you and bit you in the azz…
Thanks.
@QueenT,
welcome and sh*t, and thanks for sharing.
@The Champ, you welcomed me last time…but thanks, again. lol
@QueenT,
i’m getting old. i forget sh*t sometimes, lol.
LMAO @ “Twast”….that is all.
@Ashley Mondie,
Yeah, That ish sounds like it burns.
@Me fail english?,
It sounds like it fiercely burns.
@Ashley Mondie,
I think “twast” should be some percentage ghey.
Like 68%.
@miss t-lee,
HAHA…you’re in my mind. It’s why I said it sounds like it fiercely burns. I imagine someone saying that word with a lisp.
@Cheekie,
*snaps in z formation*
@miss t-lee,
lol, anything with “tw” at the beginning of it is at least 51 percent gay (including “twilight”, which is 272 percent gay), unless its “twat”.
@Ashley Mondie,
welcome and sh*t (i think)
No such thing as “soulmates.” Antiquated romantic nonsense.
that said, if Swizz wants Alicia, then he needs to be a man about his and go on ‘head and get that divorce. If he just trying to have his cake and eat it to, Alicia should be smarter than that.
@Tyler, he does need to go ahead and get that divorce and sign them paaaaaaaapers…
btw, anybody else find Usher’s song ironic considering how he still ain’t signed them papers???
btw, that usher song sucks.
@Panama Jackson,
hahahha
I just heard it this morning.
Me no likey.
Try again, Ursh.
@miss t-lee,
me either! I was like Ursher…for real? You almost ‘lost your mama due to this drama?’ for real? lol
@Smiley Face,
His Mama knew where it was going from jump…lol He had them blinders on, dah well.
I think he’s trying to recreate that good “Confessions”, but I don’t think lightning will strike twice.
@Smiley Face, hell, he FIRED his mother as his manager. i know good and damn well in my household my mother would be like, “oh for real? over this b*tch. you just lost one one one. and don’t come crawling back to me when that b*tch goes. family is forever f*cker.”
except my mama don’t curse.
@miss t-lee,
same thing i was thinking! LMAO!
@Panama Jackson,
“except my mama don’t curse”
shiyit…mine does! LOL
@miss t-lee,
I didn’t even think about the Confessions Sequel tip. Good point. What is he gonna call this? Confided?
@miss t-lee,
You are right, I don’t think lightning will strike twice. I personally thought Here I Stand was about 2 tracks away from perfection. He need to go on ‘head and let his inner soulman out and give the teenybopper crowed over to CBrown and nem. Nothing wrong wit that.
@Panama Jackson,
“btw, that usher song sucks.”
I know!!! Had me looking forward to that hot mess. That ish is so bootleg and low-grade. It’s like he just wrote that tomorrow.
@Cheekie,
“It’s like he just wrote that tomorrow.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Salad does NOT look good on my screen! LOL
@Cheekie,
It’s like he just wrote that tomorrow.
LOLOL
@Panama Jackson,
Ursh has been sucking for a min. She came along and put that Oaktown game on him and it was over! Wackness at it’s finest.
Bond.
@Panama Jackson,
Sucks even more that it’s the exact same beat from a Gorilla Zoe song!
@Panama Jackson,
I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it. I think he can do better.
Speaking of love, TONIGHT IS THE MAXWELL CONCERT!!! *practices proper faint*
Ahem.
“if this is true, if swizz and alicia are destined to be together forever like baby hair and al b. sure, does the end justify the means?”
Hmm…well, I’ve said my piece over and over about Alicia/Swizz and how wrong they were (and explained the reason for each…as they are different), but putting aside all that foulness (since I’m spent…lol), I have to say that despite all the foolery, I still ultimately believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is one of those blessings-in-disguise circumstances for Mashonda (the disguise is in the form of a lightskindeded woman in a camel-toe inspired jumpsuit) and quite frankly, she may be better off.
I guess I don’t believe that the end justifies the means, so to speak, I just think the means happened…what’s done is done. And the end is…what it is.
@Cheekie,
“Speaking of love, TONIGHT IS THE MAXWELL CONCERT!!! *practices proper faint*”
Yay!!!!! I expect a full report tomorrow.
*swooning as I remember my Maxwell show back in July*
Who are all these newbies all over the post?
Also VEG, you on the wrong side of history on this one mama. This is a horrible look for AKeys.
I’m glad Jim and Pam are just getting married because I thought that storyline was corny.
@Dorian G.,
“Also VEG, you on the wrong side of history on this one mama. This is a horrible look for AKeys.’
I figured y’all will disagree. I doubt it will hurt her album sales.
@V.E.G., i don’t think it will either. hell, we still buy RKelly albums. and he pissed on a 14 year old. all alicia did was date a separated man who was married to something named a mashonda.
@Panama Jackson,
Speak for yourself. my hard earned money will not go toward that Peds’ record sales….
@N.I.A. N.I.A. boo-bia…., That dude is a singing remixin dude. You gots to admit that. I mean King soloman had a huned wives. I don’t think all of em was street legal. So be it.
@N.I.A. N.I.A. bo-bia…., I don’t buy it either. I. Just. Can’t.
@Panama Jackson,
Pretty much.
@Panama Jackson,
you’re right. plenty of ppl support fools. chris brown, too, is still adored by PLENTY of girls and women (yes, women).
and speaking of the Ar-ah peein on lil girls, a little piece of my spirit was crushed when i read that he wrote Whitney’s joint “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength”. *smh*
It’s nutty that Mashonda thought Alicia’s tweet was related to anything to do with Swizz. What if she was working on a song and was trying that out? What if she was in a convo w/ a friend and that question came up?
@V.E.G., that tweet was too deep to be a song from alicia keys.
oh waitaminute, people do think she’s deep.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL! A Keys is bout as deep as a sock drawer. I agree with VEG tho that I dont believe Alicia is thinking about Mashonda.
Much the same way that Jaz-O’s life isnt about Jay-Z. Jay-Z’s life is about Jaz-O! But in reverse
@Me fail english?,
LOL…. thanks and sh*t, needed that…
Bond.
@V.E.G.,
Ok, I was wondering if I was the only who wondered how Mashonda took AKeys’ tweet as referring to Swiss Cheese! I read the tweet in question, and Swiss Skeetz wasn’t who came to mind.
@V.E.G.,
Honestly I dont see how anyone could find it that much of a jump that Mashonda thought of Swizz when she read it. It’s Alicia…asking hypotheticals about love. Not much of a stretch to start thinking about Alicia’s own love life and…oh, that’s right. SHE’S BONING MY HUSBAND.
If Jay-Z wrote a hypothetical about ppl’s hometowns and someone gets Brooklyn in mind, how much reaching did they really do?
I thought Mashonda and Swizz were separated and that’s why he was beginning a relationship wit AK, guess I was wrong.
I agree….how you get em is how you lose em….KARMA is the biggest B out there.
The question “does the end justify the means” will never be answered it’s up to the people involved to make that decision.
As a woman scorned I feel bad for Mashonda …as a woman who has been in love (not with another woman’s man tho) I feel for AK.
@RunBabyRun, Your nick name reminds me of the song Run Chicken Run
@WuDaMan,
Reminds me of Run Lola Run. Only “Lola” is “Baby” from Dirty Dancing.
@Cheekie,
Nobody puts baby in the corner! LOL
@RunBabyRun,
lol, do you feel bad for swizz too?
Soulmates? I don’t know if they exhist. I know that a chineese zodiac + a Sun sign zodiac feels like love brand new. Oh but make sure you match em all. Chineese zodiac has an element to it. So get up w/ a S.O. who is of 8 yrs differnce and a zodiac match. Check your bio-rythms…
Oh and Thundergoat has a drama smoke screen. I bet she calls him Mr. Knowles
@WuDaMan, i think Beyonce’s handlers keep her in check too…The Champ thinks she deserves more credit than that…
@Panama Jackson, Credit?! Nah. Ole boy in Missery didn’t get any credit for reducing his carbon foot print by eating excrement. I say she had no choice. I think she’s been controlled and ruled by her Daddie’s logic, love of money, & moments of clarity.
@WuDaMan, I’m essentially saying Beyonce is an unofficial Jackson via Knowles brand.
@Panama Jackson,
even if her handlers are keeping her from going all britney, all star chicks have handlers, so she at least needs credit for choosing and listening to the right handlers and sh*t.
i think i just made myself crosseyed again
@The Champ,
I’ma change my nom de plum to TheHouseThatWandaBuilt for Halloween
I mean there’s no tellin what Mashonda did to get Swiss to do what he doing. I mean she coulda sukked dry a lotta bawls and Swiss being a betta man by not blowin her up on that…could be that she didn’t respect the marriage so he doing him…and the AK upgrade is not one to pass up…juss sayn.
Then there is the perspective that she shoulda waited till Swizz was outta his nuptials or at least in the process of doing so…why didn’t she? I can hear it now…
Swizz: I want us to be together, for as long as we can be.
AK: As usual your timing couldn’t be worse. You always want what you want when you want it. Why is everything so urgent with you?
Swizz: Lemme tell u sumthin, this here, right now, at this very moment is all that matters to me. I love you. That’s urgent like a ma***ka
AK: How do we do this
Swizz: I don’t know
AK: You’re married
Swizz: I don’t care
AK: So whats the first step?
Swizz: You can start by (unzip)…
@HabitualLineCrossa,
this sounds a screenplay from a scene on onionbooty.com
@The Champ, two things I’ve learned today that got me walkin around cheesin like dude from them get a bigga d1ck commercials:
1. Alicia Keys might be lesbo/Bi.
2. onionbooty.com
For your part in this, (raising my glass) salute!!
@HabitualLineCrossa, Love Jones FTW!
To all of you Office enthusiast’s please send me a picture of your cilff hanger face as IF Jim and Pam don’t get married tonight. Stay tuned for more commercial breaks.
@Matressmony,
To all of you Office enthusiast’s please send me a picture of your cilff hanger face
is this at all related to the poke-her face?
I call bullocks onthis soulmate and all for love thing. If you’ve been married for a while you know that every marriage goes through ups and downs. I think its real shady if A keys took advantage of a low point in their marriage. I know people who’ve been severely sick with a chronic ilness that puts a damper on bedroom activities that causes rifts in marriage. I have zero respect for people who take advantage of that situation. The reason that I bring this up is its easy to “fall out of love” with someone during a difficult time and say I’ve found my “true love” now. Everyone loves the honeymoon phase of relationships but that phase is always temporary
@jaybilal, I call bullocks onthis soulmate and all for love thing. If you’ve been married for a while you know that every marriage goes through ups and downs.
This is truth!
@jaybilal,
you know, in one of chuck klostermans books he mentioned that its easier to date attached people just for the reason you named. its easy to be a relationship scavenger flying around filling open voids
I think most people are selfish. So that selfishness leads to pleasing ourselves, many times regardless of the victims.
Love is just another example of this. Alicia is trying to make herself happy and it happens to be at the expense of a wife. Now she may get cut, but that’s the risk she’s willing to take for love.
@Men’s Playbook,
would you take that risk?
Clearly you can’t program your feelings for someone to happen when it’s convenient for you. However I think that Swizz and AK could have been less public about their relationship until the he was divorced. It was tasteless of them to flaunt their relationship as they did. Especially if there are children involved.
Also it is never kosher to pursue a married man/woman. I believe people who do this are short changing themselves. You’re worth having your OWN partner. In this instance sharing is NOT caring.
@Ms. Hall,
You’re worth having your OWN partner. In this instance sharing is NOT caring.
unless you’re into that sort of thing. and by “into that sort of thing” i mean “a snizzle”
It is not the temptation that is strong but mankind that is weak. Love is a zero sums game. No nation has friends only interests. (C.G.) Everybody has made and will make immoral, illegal, disrespectful, despicable and desperate choices even by their own standards. [subject to change or justify as needed] Is it a habit? When you want to know what you think ask yourself.
@Matressmony,
lol, did you just buy a book of cliches at borders or something?
@The Champ,
LMAO!
Well to add to that…it’s always darkest before the dawn. Leap and the net will appear. If you’re going through hell keep going.
@Me fail english?,
“If you’re going through hell keep going.”
Didn’t Rev Run recently tweet that?
@Voiceovereason,
LOL. It’s on a magnet in my office. Rev. Run probably tweeted it in his typical (effed up) Rev. Run way:
@RevRun “Df your gong thru hill kep gping.”
He makes me so sick with that BS. I’d unfollow him but I think that might be a sin??
@Me fail english?,
“He makes me so sick with that BS. I’d unfollow him but I think that might be a sin??”
LOL! Yeah, and he always uses the double comma (,,). Maybe it means something I’m just not aware of b/c my little cousin does that too.
And you can unfollow him…he ain’t Jesus. He’s just tweeting common sense. FB and Twitter bring out the pseudo-philosopher in so many people.
This is the 3rd time the topic of love has popped up in my face today. I hope it’s not some sort of sign. I’d never pursue someone that’s married, b/c it’s my personal belief that it’s wrong. Not to mention I think getting involved with someone’s spouse can lead to a person getting hurt…physically. But since I don’t have a clue of what it’s like to truly be in love, I can’t comment on what one should or shouldn’t do.
@Voiceovereason,
“…I can’t comment on what one should or shouldn’t do”
lol, but you just did
@The Champ,
I said it’s my personal belief that it’s wrong and gave an example of what it could lead to. So if by commenting on “people” you mean commenting on what I would or wouldn’t do, then I suppose you’re right.
@Voiceovereason,
*commenting on “one”
So I’m exhibiting at this conference in Boofooville, USA, where I am one of few melanin-blessed people. I’s minding my own bitness, sitting down behind my table, on my MacBook, leaving foolery throughout VSB when I hear:
*clears throat*
I look up to see this older Black man staring at me and smiling. His teefs don’t curl all the way over either. They’re crooked and the color of hot dog water.
This is what ensued:
Me: Oh hello.
Him: Hi. What does your organization do?
Me: We’re a nonprofit that blah blah blah
Him: *staring a bit too hard at me* *kneels down on the floor so he’s eye level with me*
Me: We’re based in Chicago but do regional work
Him: *looking at me even harder* I’m from Chicago too! How about that?
Me: umm… cool. *shifts in chair*
Him: You are beautiful!
Me: Umm… sure thanks O__O
Him: What’s is your name? You are just… beautiful?
Me: Luv
Him: Well, I’m glad I met you. You are beautiful
Me: *looks around nervously* *nervous chuckle*
He finally walks away and I wanna fall off my chair into a tub of bleach and Ajax. UNCLEAN!!!
Oh, and…
*WALL SLIDE*
@Luvvie,
He tryna get a young tender.
*snickering*
@Luvvie,
NOT HOT DOG WATER!!!! LMAO!!!
@Luvvie, Thanks for the Laugh of the day. Hilarious.
@Luvvie,
*spills holy water on you*
Halfway Curled Over Heathen Dirty Man Dust, I BeSeech You In The Name of Jeebus! Begoneth Off Of Thy Luvvie!
Ok, lemme stop…
@Luvvie, I think you just got an early Halloween Holla Hijinx w/ no Hygene. So sorry. lmbo
@Luvvie,
damn. . . I was hoping you’d figure out it was me and we’d knock everything off your table had have raunchy s3x right up in there. . .
@kamakula,
Like in the white snake video!?! Were there going to be animal noises!?!
I wasn’t present during Mashonda & Swizz Beats union, so their vows to each other is all up to speculations.
Their pledge to each other could have been traditional or non-traditional. Some traditional wedding vows include “forsaking all other” along with “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part.” If Swizz vowed to forsake all others when he married Mashonda, he’s dead ass wrong for terribly failing to uphold his word. There is no honor in that.
On the other hand, some other traditional & non-traditional wedding vows do not include forsaking all others. If he promised all the other lovey-dovey stuff EXCEPT forsaking all others, he is not breaking his wedding vows. He could still be there for her in sickness/in health, for richer/for poorer, to cherish, to love and to hold until death do them part. However, he would have another woman. If this was my wedding vows, I would not find it wrong for my husband to be with the other woman and promissing her the same danm thing.
The other woman, Alicia Keys, is wrong if she’s knowingly an accomplice in helping Swizz dishonor his wedding vows [to forsake all others among other things]. Taking solely Swizz Beats’ word in this matter would be naive. People lie. She would have to confirm it with another party before they consumate their relationship. She’s not wrong for going through with the relationship if her confirmation is positive. However, if he lied, they would have to deal with that. In addition, it would be best that she waited for Swizz to terminate his first contract if she wished to continue the relationship despite the lie because they’re “soulmates and their love for each other is truer and deeper and more passionate than kanye’s love for blond dykes.”
how come nobody is willing to give the thundergoat props for being the only scandel-less female megastar?I give her props@SnijanaFleur,
“how come nobody is willing to give the thundergoat props for being the only scandel-less female megastar? ”
I know ya’ll aren’t from my state so you don’t hear the whispers, but trust I’ve heard more than a few Yawnce rumors from my folks who live/grew up in H-Town.
@miss t-lee,
“I know ya’ll aren’t from my state so you don’t hear the whispers, but trust I’ve heard more than a few Yawnce rumors from my folks who live/grew up in H-Town.”
I’ve heard ‘em too. She’s just good at keeping her business private.
@Voiceovereason, Exactly! I don’t think Bey is so boring and personality-less. I just think she’s good as he!! at keeping her ish outta the streets.
@SnijanaFleur,
And many people promised their grandmas they wouldn’t have sex before marriage. The purpose of a vow/promise/contract is to have something that holds the other person accountable, that gives them a reference for the boundaries of a relationship, and to specify penalties for breaking that agreement.
Technically, a traditional marriage vow would forbid both parties from ever dissolving the marriage, even if they both wanted to amicably.
*Note, this reply may not have a point.
@kamakula,
“Technically, a traditional marriage vow would forbid both parties from ever dissolving the marriage, even if they both wanted to amicably.”
Yep.
@SnijanaFleur,
“If this was my wedding vows, I would not find it wrong for my husband to be with the other woman and promissing her the same danm thing. ”
Then what would be the point of getting married? “Forsaking all others” doesnt nec. mean I’m not going to cheat. Let’s be real here. Unless a couple says otherwise, fidelity (or some semblance of it) is an implicit expectation for the marriage. That’s like saying “well technically, I didnt say you couldnt sleep with my sister so I can’t find it wrong.”
first big shout outs to the office. i actually got a dundie award for my birthday. lol. its sitting on my mantle. i think that dwight (my favorite character) might ruin the wedding.
as far as the open question i don’t believe in soul mates. you make whatever situation work with whoever you are with. you just have a better connection and understanding with some people than you do others. the idea of just one person meant for you is preposterous to me.
most people end up marrying people that live within a 50 mile radius from them. with billions of people on this planet, if the idea of soul mates actually was true what if your soul mate lived on the other side of the globe? you might never meet them and that means that you will never be with the person that you’re supposed to be with.
@Tunde,
I agree. I don’t beleive in soulmates either. But I think people who beleive in soulmates belive that they will ultimately meet and live somewhere near the person.
@Voiceovereason,
How many ways can I butcher the word believe?
@Voiceovereason,
*snickering*
Wow.
@Voiceovereason,
I beleeve there to be an infinite number of ways.
@Cheekie,
I beleave you’re right. Lol.
I don’t get it- AliciaK is the one pursuing SB???? I mean, seriously?!! From what i recall- AK is single and SB is the one married with kids but has chosen to leave then and openly pursue AK. Ak has nothing to lose here- or am i mistaken. She has a relationship/man to gain. whhile he on the other hand has a lot to lose. No man can be stolen from a woman- except he wants to be stolen.
@Tigeress,
is there a question here?
welcome and sh*t, btw
For me, I view life as a matter of checks and balances. When one is happy, there is always another who is contra to that joy by being in sorrow.
I also keep in mind that joy/happiness/love is subjective. What may be joyous for me, maybe catastrophic for someone else.
All of our actions have equal and opposite reactions. Although, I assume, that AK and Beats are joyous, others, like Mashonda, feel the negative aspects of what they have created. I do not condone taking what belongs to someone else ( I learned that in Kindergarden), but I also know that some times when an opportunity presents itself, it isn’t necessarily wrapped up cute in a nice, neat little package. Sometimes our joy is born in what presents itself to be bitter, destitute and, well, fugly. Just as important as the result of our actions, is also the intent behind them.
@ the champ
i just read yesterdays topic…loved it
i noticed one of your points was men pretending not to like gossip….calling it something else…..
lol, you obviously used this as a talking point to discuss what you really wanted to GOSSIP about…….
A.Keys is a d-yam home-wrecker!
well played(ish)
love and rockets x
I don’t know much about the AK/SB situation, but it seems like folks are going extra hard on Alicia. While I’m not doubting the fact she knew Swizz was married, there’s no telling what he was telling her about the state of his and Mashonda’s marriage. He should have been the one to deal with his marriage before moving on publicly. I’m not saying Alicia holds no fault in this, but it’s possible she got caught up in the matrix before she knew what was really going on in their marriage.
@ miss t-lee, Voiceovereason & pgh muse
In this age of technologies, rumors, especially negative ones with financial incentives, spread the fastest and cover more grounds. I don’t have to be from H-Town to know about them. There is nothing wrong with keeping your ish from the streets. If you personally don’t, why would a levelheaded celebrity? Also, I’ve heard just as much, if not more, positive [and more reliable] rumors about Bey from professionals, family members, fans & stans [From interviewers, Magazine execs, producers, actress who supposedly has beef with her, actors who worked along side her, sponsors, known blogger who used to help spreads that negativity, pastor, family, ex-band members, fans & stans who've come in contact with her]. I’ve never come into contact with her. However, if I’m going to give weight to any of the negative rumors, the positive ones will receive the same treatment.
@ kamakula, miss t-lee & Me fail english?
Marriage vows are oral contract between husband and wife, and the marriage license seals the deal. If the husband and the wife do not agree to forsake all others in their agreement and one/both consequently take a second partner (s), their marriage vows are not dishonored because of that. Couples are the one who set the boundaries, and this was theirs.
Forsaking all others as part of the marriage vows DOES mean you should not cheat, Me fail english? If you do cheat, you are being dishonest and you’re violating the agreement with your spouse. Omitting “forsaking all others” out of your vows has an understood SILENT implication.
kamakula, I agree that traditional marriage vows implicit with the “Till death do us part” would forbid both parties from dissolving the marriage. However, there would be no reason for the couple to dissolve the marriage [amicably/otherwise], solely base on the decision to take a second partner, if it’s well within their marriage clause. Unless, they amended their vows at some point in the marriage, and one partner violates it.
There are various reasons why people marry. Some do it love, others for practicality. The main point is each partner will get things that are valuable to them out of the contract they sign. People don’t conveniently forget the rest of the vow “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part.” That is the promise to support each other financially, emotionally, sexually until death do them part.
WOW…That’s enough comments for…time for my papers
@Champ….It’s late. Long day at work so forgive me if I’m restating a comment…..
Anyway, it may be true that the Lili-Swizz Love is for real. However, out of respect for the covenant of marriage, they should have waited to pursue ‘love’ until his divorce was final. Unless he was legally separated, I can’t really womanpower it up on this one. Stealing, borrowing, nesting or otherwise, another woman’s man is wrong. PERIOD! I’ve been Mashonda. I’ve played Alicia. Either way, it’s not a good feeling in the end. How you get your man is how you lose him. If he’ll do it with you, what makes you think he won’t do it with another hott young tender, ie Rihanna?!-I’m just saying.
Alas, no woman deserves to be deceived and hoodwinked. Can’t we just all get along….
HIcotton here, weighing in late.
In Mashonda’s position, I’d be enraged if I’d been a faithful wife and a dedicated mother throughout the marriage. Less so if I’d been cheating with the pretty pool boy while the babies lay in neglect.
It’s true that self-promotion often involves working against the interests of others. In order to get my dream job, I have to beat out several other candidates, some of whom may be better qualified than I am or a better fit or better looking or better wives/mothers etc. The will to power is not always evil per se.
I think it depends on what stage of the break-up/divorce they are in. If they have been separated and all that is awaiting is the final paperwork then I don’t see a problem with anything Swizz or Alicia did.