while watching law and order: CI (undoubtedly the best law and order spin-off. you can disagree, but you’d be wrong) yesterday, i happened to see an ad for burger king’s oreo bk sundae shake. if you’ve never actually seen the oreo bk sundae shake in person, the only thing to say to accurately describe it is that it looks like every reason why the world hates america. seriously, this milkshake is so obnoxiously indulgent that i’m surprised it doesn’t come with a pocket sized perez hilton at the bottom. i think God kills a kitten every time someone drinks one.
so naturally, being the fat kid that i am, i try to have at least one of these per month. sure, i’m lactose intolerant (which means i’ll probably be sleeping by myself that night) and sure, it has enough calories to feed each of ochochino’s next five kids for a week, but i don’t f*cking care. i love milkshake decadence. i know it’s bad for me, but i just can’t help myself. i’ll deal with the diabetic coma later.
as most men will tell you, there are a few types of women exactly like the oreo bk sundae chick, tasty, attractive, and enticing, but ultimately hazardous to your health.
here’s five of them
the super sexy hoodrat
***btw, “hoodrat” and “hood chick” are completely different terms. there’s nothing wrong with being a hood chick, and you can actually be a hoodrat without being from the hood. if this doesn’t make any sense to you, just watch belly again and you’ll understand***
why she’s tempting: her uber sexiness (and fighting ability) is enough to (almost) make you forget that the man whose initials are tattooed on her ass murdered your neighbor two years ago.
why she’s toxic: your life expectancy decreases 5% every week you’re together. plus, her teenage son can (and will, if prompted) whoop your ass
miss lemony snicket
why she’s tempting: her life sucks walrus d*ck, so all you have to do is actually respond to her texts and occasionally kiss her during sex and she’s smitten for life
why she’s toxic: because her life was a never-ending series of unfortunate events before she met you, she might actually kill you, herself, her neighbors, and everybody in her belt-making class if you ever try to leave her.
the femme fatale
why she’s tempting: she’s a professional cocktease who’s able to get you horny just by saying “hell0″, and you’re an idiot
why she’s toxic: you’re not going to be too happy when you see she’s using the same techniques she used to seduce you to get extra fries, free tax help, free drinks, better tables, better credit, new shoes, new boobs, and eventually a new you.
miss “think like a man…and act like a man too”
why she’s tempting: you’ve been complaining all your life about non-sensible women and their latent bipolar-ness, so you rejoice when you meet a chick who’s ultra assertive, rational, practical, and actually kicks you out of bed (and her crib) after sex
why she’s toxic: between the embarrassment you’ll feel during sex when you say “whose is it??” and she replies “not yours, weak d*ck muthaf*cker“, the annoyance you’ll feel when you realize she hasn’t listened to a single word you’ve said since january 2009, and the fact that her general blasé attitude about intimacy makes you (rightly) suspect that she’s slept with at least 150 guys, she’s not worth the trouble. plus, when you break up, she’ll probably start dating before you do, and her new guy will probably be an upgrade
the tenderoni
why she’s tempting: no cellulite, no kids, no real baggage, no non-perkiness anywhere, no real income (which, combined with your age, means you’d wield complete relationship power), no world-weary cynicism (which means she’ll believe everything you say), and no qualms about entering (and winning) the “how low can you go” contest at club laga for two raheem devaughn tickets (you always wanted to see him live)
why she’s toxic: to be perfectly honest, she’s not really toxic. but, you’ll eventually tire of teaching her how to cook and telling her why it’s not appropriate to send work emails in tweet speak. also, although you might have frequent sex, since most women don’t actually get good in bed until they’re 26, you’ll tire of that too
anyway men of vsb.com, did i miss anyone? can you think of any other types of tempting and toxic women?
also, as veteran vsb-er gemoftheocean pointed out on her blog, there are men like this as well. ladies, can you list some tempting but toxic types of guys?
–the champ
..
shoot! lol
darn!
enjoy it today because it will be mine tomorrow (hopefully)
“enjoy it today because it will be mine tomorrow (hopefully)”
Interestingly enough, this was the original title of the MoKenStef one-hit wonder, “He’s Mine”
Go j. ivy! Congrats!
Thanks!! taking bow before turning off the light. g’night.
Come tomorrow don’t forget to say your speech as we cue victory music and throw e-confetti.
Congrats! Except I think Cheekie would not call this a REAL win because you failed to actually type a word.
#nohate
Girl, tell ‘em. Absolutely NO Soulja Boy.
yo
…yay…
watdaheyal???
can’t believe this!
sorry bout that. mission accomplished, I just had to get it once to quench my competitive nature. I don’t want it no mo.
sorry bout that. mission accomplished, I just had to get it once to quench my competitive nature. I don’t want it no mo.
1. say it….*shakes fist
2. props to the original mission accomplisher: GWB?
3. anyone you’d like to thank? your housekeeper? pool boy?
4. got an album??
LOL
I’d like ta thank ma therapist, I never woulda made it wit out u, my pastor, the creators of adderall xr for allowing me to be up this late, and my overall consistent sleep deprivation…
Thank you to K Beezy for making a comment on yesterday’s post that reminded me it was time for today’s,
the creators of Tahitian Treat, the greatest drink ever made
the parents of Idris Elba…sigh/swoon
Tony from P90X
(this may be my one and only acceptance speeh)
my momma nem
PJ for introducing me to the site
Big Head for introducing me to Peej…
Mrs. Gray, my fifth grade teacher…cause she was great and taught me how to make cucumber sandwiches with the crust cut off…
yeah…THANKS!!!! (wishing I knew how to make some of those really cute smiley faces) (-_0) ahh well, one thing at a time. lol
“the creators of Tahitian Treat, the greatest drink ever made”
Can I send you $2 and a self-addressed stamped box to mail me a bottle. I can’t find this ish anywhere!
oh yeah,
QUEENSBRIDGE!?!?!
LMAO!
I think the Academy Awards orchestra started playing at some point.
Tahiti Treat FTMFW!!!!!!!!!!!
PS: Glad you remembered the Queensbridge. It is now officially required in all celebration posts.
Thanks,
Management.
my speech is in moderation… o_0
I was trying to leave this on the “Gem of the ocean” blog, but I dont want to sign in and be a member and sh*t.
@ Keisha Brown
As a VSB(with too much time on his hands)I gotta shout you out for reading this post with “male eyes.”(i.e. logical sense)
This seems like the same thing guys talk about when we’re looking for the “virginal whore” (lady in the streets,freak in the bed)
It seems to me that the “rude boy” should know when/where to be cocky/arrogant, and how deep he should cut into your psyche and panty lines… while not leaving too much damage of course.
As a young teen I was told I was “too nice”(worst thing to tell a guy;I wonder what the female equivalent is) while my male classmates(future inmates)had their pick of the “good” and “bad” girls and I figured if i didn’t “adjust my game” I wouldn’t be seeing any VJJ.
*shudders @ that thought*
Anyway…thats my two pesos, and I’ll catch ya’ll back at homebase.(where champ, panama, and liz reside)
@kid video
thanks! my 1st reaction was like: oh man..if dudes see this..it’s gonna be all the ammunition they need to start/continue being arrogant a$$es. it was an informative post though, cuz it gave insight as to how different us women really are.
“didn’t “adjust my game” I wouldn’t be seeing any VJJ.
*shudders @ that thought*”- i found this remark hysterical dudes talmbout VJJ….just sayin “Man Up”…i kid, i kid…i thought it endearing & far more pleasant to my e-ears than p*ssy & whatnot
Top 5!!! Man I was refreshing like a mug….
Which part of this statement landed me in moderation
?
I’ve found that whether you like LO:CI depends on how you feel about Bobbly Goren/Jeff Goldblum. I’m lukewarm to both so CI doesn’t move me. SVU, on the other hand disturbs my spirit….
Champ!
“entries based on experiences the champ regrets” <- Please expound on this tag!!!
“entries based on experiences the champ regrets” <- Please expound on this tag!!!
no
For anyone still thinking that Champie poo poo is the nice one, please refer to the above.
And Champ can refer to deez.
wowzers
lmao…..
do vsb really stumble for the hoodrat chick?
it happens to the best of them. anyone can get mesmerized by a clapping ass
The sound of a clapping a$$, much like the Siren’s sound, have brought many men to their destruction.
Sometimes, but not for long. When you realize how unrefined she is, and how that really doesn’t bode well for company functions or interacting with your friends who, in her opinion, are all bougeious, it suddenly isn’t all that cute anymore. You soon realize that the good looks and eagerness towards sex are really all she’s got going for her. When she says, “Man, I ain’t neva seen nobody pay all they bills on time befo’.”, you start to wonder what values she would pass on to your kids, then realize it’s time to bounce, close this chapter in your life (hopefully keeping the amount of your personal property that gets destroyed to a minimum), and enjoy having one more life experience to share with others.
“Man, I ain’t neva seen nobody pay all they bills on time befo’.”
That’s when you just put your head down in shame…then you go at it one more time then drop her off at Pee-wee and em’s house.
Long time lurker, occasional commenter here…
“Man, I ain’t neva seen nobody pay all they bills on time befo’.”
This right here reminded me of a chick on Parking Wars who thought the statement on her bill that read, “DO NOT SEND CASH” meant she did not have to pay said bill. She was indignant about it too, in a lovable hoodrat kind of way. Bless her heart…
Ok, on to my actual comment: I’m guessing the whole hoodrat attraction thing is comparable to the allegations that women like thugs. With that said, with women you typically hear them say they grow out of that. Do you think guys may grow out of the hoodrat phase at a certain point?
I tend to believe that most do by mid to late twenties, but then there is always the exception to that rule. I also think that if a man doesn’t get out of a relationship with a hood related broad by a certain point, they could end up stuck. For example, my friend’s brother who is a surgeon in his mid thirties has been with the same hood chick for over a decade now despite (or maybe because of) her threatening to firebomb his parents’ house and repeatedly mentioning her affiliation with the Bloods in casual conversation.
I have to admit, I’m not really sure if this little anecdote is really relevant to my point, but I saw the words hoodrat chick, she immediately came to mind and I had to share…
@ AmbitiousBrown,
Love your name!
@ legitimate_soul
Thank you kindly!
I wish I could say I came up with it on my own and that it was a clever play on Encyclopedia Brown, but the truth is I came across it while analyzing data from students in my research lab in grad school.
I feel confident that I’m not committing any ethics violations cause this was several years ago and I’m sure there are like 50-11 Ambitious Browns in the world by this point, considering it is super tame compared to some of the other names I’ve come across while doing research.
@Caballeroso
you have an EXCELLENT way of breaking ish down. and i appreciate you for it.
that is all (for now)
I think so. Like Champ so eloquently referenced, “clapping ass”. I think it can evaporate brain cells instantly.
Sorry, but SVU is my favorite. Benson and Stabler, ftw. And SN: I got a girl crush on Keri Washington. Chick is bad! Loved her in She Hate Me.
that movie was sunin” else, I’m 100% straight, but I felt like Nicki Minaj for a sec..then said hell naw NTTAWT
you know what’s up girl!
i absolutely love the original L&O , and the best spin-off is SVU GOSH DARNIT!
don’t make me get violent bout this
*takes in deep breaths and wipes forehead*
Yep! I love SVU! Mariska Hargitay is fantastic!
* nods head so vigourously that i’m getting a headache* yep. mariska hargitay’s name alone makes svu the best.but ci is a close second. but this:
“between the embarrassment you’ll feel during sex when you say “whose is it??” and she replies “not yours, weak d*ck muthaf*cker”. DEAD. erm ….your going to hell for this comment. i’ll put in a good word with the G.O.D. but i can’t say i disagree with your list… for now
“i absolutely love the original L&O , and the best spin-off is SVU GOSH DARNIT!”
Right, last time I checked, that was the highest rated version PERIOD. So, Champ is the opposite of right.
That show just sets my soul on fire. I love all the detectives and I love that Benson and Stabler never tried to hook up. It’s good clean tv (aside from the rape, murders, and assaults).
As my dear mother stated, “Jeff Goldblum is full of himself. He think he’s too chexy with his big head.” (her words, not mine)
Right, last time I checked, that was the highest rated version PERIOD. So, Champ is the opposite of right.
since when does higher ratings mean better? if that’s the case, how i met your mother is the best comedy on tv
“since when does higher ratings mean better?”
Since I said so. And only in this case. I’m allowed to do that.
Whoa, HIMYM is the bomb.
“…if that’s the case, how i met your mother is the best comedy on tv”
It is.
SERIOUSLY?! “How I met Your Mother” The Best…?
hmmm. ok I can’t say ish cuz I havn’t seen it! :-/
if that’s the case, how i met your mother is the best comedy on tv
But why it is! Name a show currently showing that’s funnier… I double dare you.
HIMYM rules.
Sorry, but SVU is my favorite.
i think this is just a woman thing. all the melodrama and sex crimes must get you all wet
Nope.. it’s the chemistry between actors.
lol. im going to um.. just comment on the post.
i leave the chasing and yelling of queensbridge to other folk.
the funny thing about this post, is that there are many types of toxic women as you’ve listed..but yet.. y’all STILL will pass by, overlook, push into a river, cut off communication with your boy from 3rd grade for her.
**disclaimer: yes, i know there are toxic dudes and that batches be stabbin with stillettos and pullin out lacefronts for..but this post is about the men dem**
so i guess my question is not WHY (because that’s self explanitory), but WHEN do you eventually stop torturing yourselves (and us)? Im hopeful the answer is before death and after puberty.
ps: l&o: ci IS the best spinoff. i dont know why they had to cancel the original just to bring us l&o:la.
pps: i am now singing britney spears toxic. cant lie – the chick had some catchy tunes.
now im off to read Gem (truly outrageous’ post). y’all people are killin me with your blogs! i need sleep!
tootles!
im truly truly TRULY outrageous!! thanks for noticing
and arent you a sweetie pie for reading?!?!?! thanks for the love hun, you’re a gem
p.s. i commented on your comment. silly rabbit.
I was over at your page too…interesting reading to say the least, and I would have to use a Chris Rock quote here & say as far as the rude bwoys go , I’m not saying that it’s right, but I understand….and now I too must add your truly outrageous blog to the list of blogs that I read on the regular…(muttering to self, gonna have to quit the JOB just to have time to read all of these) I swear the fact that I absolutely LOVE to read is gonna be my downfall…BTW-hate to sound all childish & whatnot but your blogspot is “so pretty”*shrugs
@bajanflchick
thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the compliment
i appreciate you adding my blog to your list of blogs that could potentially lead you to unemployment lol. im just starting so im just finding a groove. but i love expressing my opinion (hmmm could you tell??) and displaying the silliest/most tragic things about my life and my mind-frame as a sign of growth and lessons-learned. which i also do on vsb frequently LOL.
I’m gonna have to say that women torture themselves more with this type of foolishness. Mr. Good D*ck is responsible for like 75% of y’all problems.lol. Women will put up with a lot of foolishness because the stroke game is mean.
Men will deal with one or 2 of these chicks and end up screwed for life, but they will often learn from that serious mistake…whether it be a stray seed or that teenage son whooping their arse in a Taco Bell parking lot.
@slim jackson:
im going to channel my inner champ/pj and answer your post with a simple no.
ha! who am i kidding?
ok. let’s just say that men are better at learning lessons and not falling into the same trap twice. i disagree because there are too many dudes running around with multiple baby mamas are exact replicas of each other, some with bigger donks or bigger titties.
as its been mentioned in recent vsb posts – women are more likely to put up with more ish (no hard conclusion was drawn for reason why..we’ll just say there are many many. fugees).
but i got 99 problems with dudes and good d*ck aint one.
cosignage on the 99 problems *sigh
i disagree because there are too many dudes running around with multiple baby mamas are exact replicas of each other, some with bigger donks or bigger titties.
hmmm. and women don’t do the same thing? i dont think this is a gender specific trait.
@Champ:
I was inferring to slim who was inferring that men don’t make the same mistake over and over with toxic women.
i know that repeating errors is not gender specific, but this post/comment was speaking about the mens right?
i know that repeating errors is not gender specific, but this post/comment was speaking about the mens right?
actually, i ask for both genders to name tempting and toxic people at the end of the post and sh*t
“but i got 99 problems with dudes and good d*ck aint one.”
HOLLA! lol!
@Slim Jackson,
Mr. Good D*ck is responsible for like 75% of y’all problems.lol. Women will put up with a lot of foolishness because the stroke game is mean.
sadly ive NEVER had this problem. ive put up with foolishness for other reasons *smh* didnt even get the stroke-reward. #fml (<~~no, really, pls)
@Gem (truly you know what).. lol
LMMFAO @ fml..no really. im stealing that when i see a sexy dude i wanna get with. lol.
LOL!! i may have you steal your idea for how to use said expression *taking notes* thanks!
okay?
@liz.. when i came to comment, all the comments above me were people chasing 1st place. there were no actuall comments about champs post itself. so that’s why i said, i’ll leave the 1st place relay race to other folks.
“@liz.. when i came to comment, all the comments above me were people chasing 1st place. there were no actuall comments about champs post itself. so that’s why i said, i’ll leave the 1st place relay race to other folks.”
lol, liz knows exactly what you meant. she’s agreeing with you.
How long will the first race go on? It seems rather silly and pointless to me. Unless yall are giving out free VSB baby tees or something…lol
I’m witchu, if there ain’t no swag involved, I ain’t playin
missed you so much I followed you today -OranJuice Jones- Just Kidding, but I did follow you right over to the truly outrageous post. Just always been lookin for a way to get an OJJ quote in there, and now I have-thank you keisha brown
@bajan: aww. lol. now i have i saw you..walking in the rain..in my head. thanks. lol.
so i guess my question is not WHY (because that’s self explanitory), but WHEN do you eventually stop torturing yourselves (and us)? Im hopeful the answer is before death and after puberty.
everyone has their own clock and sh*t.
The thing is like a lot of women go for the stupid dudes or the arrogant ones (never understood this one)… men will fall for what they fall for… until they don’t.
I don’t think there is a timeline per se or that it’s even the same for every single dude… Just find the guy who is past that “stage”…. and all shall be well in your world…
(did I inadvertently place myself as a toxic chick with this answer… *looks around paranoid*
)
“I don’t think there is a timeline per se or that it’s even the same for every single dude… Just find the guy who is past that “stage”…. and all shall be well in your world…”- I may have to nominate you today for truest words ever written today
Naw you just borrowed one of Princess Duvet’s (*tear*) duvets aka wet blankets. ROTFLMAO!!!! I kid I kid! I’m right there with you in there not being a timeline. I feel people “progress” aka do what they want as they feel necessary.
you just borrowed one of Princess Duvet’s (*tear*) duvets aka wet blankets.
*Crying Indian single tear*. Keep America Beautiful.
I miss the wet duvets!
Sorry, but SVU is my fsvorite. Stabler and Benson, ftw. SN: I have a girl crush on Keri Washington. Chick is bad! I loved her in She Hate Me.
SVU!!! Best one!!
Kerri Washington in I Think I Love My Wife almost had me dump Jada Pinkett Smith as my girl crush.
Almost.
i used to be the tenderoni chick….smh.
praise growth…lmao.
can some women be a bit of everything sometimes…. like a combo meal?
Amen to growth! I used to be one as well.
LOL @ a combo meal… More like a create-your-own-feast at Red Lobster
So is there like a certain amount of time you’re ALLOWED to be a Tenderoni? I’m 21 so I’m wondering how long my grace period would be…and ughh. Sometimes I feel like a Little Lemony Snicket. YIKES.
From a man’s perspective I’d say, stay sweet, but lose the naivete (assuming you have it). Guys like sweethearts, but as The Champ said, having to “coach” someone through a relationship can get tiresome.
My two pennies.
Thanks…that gave me good insight.
My terderoni days didn’t conclude til I was like 24 *shrug*… 99 problems good d*ck *bites nails* (definitely was the problem, shout @ Keisha B)
“i used to be the tenderoni chick”
ummmm, every woman used to be the tenderoni chick at some time, lol. all you have to do to not be the tenderoni anymore is not die
lol, I was thinking the same. Ain’t tenderoni status like step 1? (I mean, not counting when you’re like…a kid. gross, if you counted it)
What’s the age cap on tenderioniness? My 25th is in a month or so and I’m trying to figure out if I’m still in (or already surpassed) this group…
I think I used to be a tenderoni too. But I only heard complaints in the kitchen.
between the embarrassment you’ll feel during sex when you say “whose is it??” and she replies “not yours, weak d*ck muthaf*cker“
This had me rolling. LMBO!
Aww. I’m glad you rescinded the tenderonis being hazardous. We can’t help what year we were born…or the economy…
And what’s the difference between being a hood chick and hoodrat?
And what’s the difference between being a hood chick and hoodrat?
Hood chick: think Nia Long in Friday, Boyz N the Hood
Hoodrat: think Paula Jai Parker in everything
More specifically:
Hood chick: Nia Long in Friday, Boyz N the Hood
Hoodrat: Paula Jai Parker in Friday; Regina King in Boyz N the Hood
Paula Jai definitely has the hood rat typecast game on lock…lol
Trudy Proud is not a hood rat!
lookatchu Wu- with a quickness, and a smartness, defending one of the Proud Fam…big ups to you for defending someone and doing the background investigation first*perhaps you should get a job with one of the dumba$$ instantnews spots/whitehouse/natl assoc for advancement of the cullids* so that we don’t have to have anymore 24/48/72 hours of news stories with fingerpointing talmbout “who started this bs”…REALLY consider it #thatisall
I will never work for any organization, group, clan, posse, or clique that still uses “colored” in their moniker in the year 2010.
As for the instant news spots I wouldn’t be employed very long because I want to lock Bill O and Keith Olberman in a very small room with Ray Lewis and some Ecstasy (No Whodini) just to see what would happen. I’ve probably said this on here before but a man can dream.
*FYI- I would pay gozillions of dollars to see this “Bill O and Keith Olberman in a very small room with Ray Lewis and some Ecstasy “- Arrange this, please & thank you .
“Trudy Proud is not a hood rat!”
ROFLMBO
“Hoodrat: think Paula Jai Parker in everything”
LOL! *nodding head*
In The Wayans Bros, she wasn’t even supposed to be a hoodrat but that ish was just flowin out. She can’t help but be hood.
@DG, That is both true and sad that Paula been a hoodrat in ever-dayum-thing! I’m racking my brain for the exception and can’t think of one.
The ONLY movie paula jai parker was NOT a hoodrat was _30 years to life_ she played broken fat chick who saved her pennies to get lipo and fine…
Sn:this is my first late night post on vsb. I feel like I’m apart of the club. But not really
She was also in this HBO film called (Cosmic Slop)
You can only find it on VHS though.
I remember Cosmic Slop!
She wasn’t a hoodrat on “THE WAYANS BROS” series…actually I think she had money on there and was somewhat stuck up.
Glad to know I stand corrected
Thanks! I remember her from a black comedy sketch show and wish her the best.
“not yours, you weak d*ick mofo”. Bwahahahaha I’m totally gonna hafta use this one day. Oh yeah SVU still kicks CI’s azz.
.
I stopped by to say I am proud to be 27 because that means I am now having good sex… And I do believe that to be true because the few and far in between times I have had coitus since 26 have been nothing short of amazing… But I digress for my original point. Wait, what was my original point? *Mind wanders to amazing fornication* Ah well, forget it. It’s too late at night for intelligent thought anyway.
And I do believe that to be true because the few and far in between times I have had coitus since 26 have been nothing short of amazing
what changed for you?
I guess it was an awareness of myself and what I like. Before that I was trying to please the guy I was with… But that got old somewhere around 25. Not to say I’m selfish now, I am just self aware.
And definitely being comfortable with myself, my body, my likes, and my dislikes.
I think champs number 26 is too high. Good chex starts at 24 or soon after undergrad. Then again it depends on when you started and what your actual number is…
@Ivy St “it depends on when you started and what your actual number is”
Exactly. I lost my virginity at 21..and while I did spend the next little while getting to know myself as a sexual creature, the confidence to implement my newfound knowledge, being comfortable in my own skin took a little bit longer.
and ironically, the longer i go without…the more i feel like im regressing in skills and confidence. i know it’s like riding a bike..but i need a bike to ride!!
I think people lose their plasticity to explore and be creative with chex the longer they wait because they start a little behind the curve. I’ve yet to see the positive to waiting besides not messing up and getting an STD or pregnant at a young age.
LOL @ needing a bike to ride.
its sad and true. and ive known this type of reality *smh*
@KB,
omg we are soooooo >here<
@Gem (TTT Outrageous)
that is why we are e-sis’ for lyfe!!
*terrorist fist bump
yayyyyyyyyyyy!!! i love e-siblings!!! so much more low maintenance
*terrorist fist bump*
It depends on numerous factors… most importantly whether or not you have come to know, appreciate and enjoy your own body. Be comfortable in your skin…
For some the epiphany comes earlier, for others rather late….
The Kim Kardas$shian: ninjas will still be mesmerized by her exoticness/Ass/physical beauty, despite skank reputation and all ya boys seen her neekid b4, sex tape she effed/dated Ray J. posing nude, other attention whore factors, crazy family, Money$, so idk about the golddiggin’ is but..neva trust a big but and a smile–BBD
The Aaliyah: may she rest in peace i’m not being mean i liked her, but she wasn’t innocent, remember she married R. Kells back in the day, and some ninjas/people are like “She like a lil’ sis/big bro” to me blah blah,but then one day they Done Growwed Up, and yo ass is goin’ to the pen for statuatory rape, although it was consenual, and she was moving like Ciara in Ride, not my goodies innocent bs
The Kim Kardas$shian: ninjas will still be mesmerized by her exoticness/Ass/physical beauty, despite skank reputation and all ya boys seen her neekid b4, sex tape she effed/dated Ray J. posing nude, other attention whore factors, crazy family, Money$, so idk about the golddiggin’ is but..neva trust a big but and a smile–BBD
rich iranian (or whatever nationality she is) chicks can be hoodrats too
Armenian. LOL
but..neva trust a big but and a smile–BBD
I tell my homie this every week. He decided it was ok to wife up an ex-prono star who was still shooting when they got together. Like for real. AND she smashed the homie. Like for real.
I thought it was common knolwedge that you cant make a pro a housewife. Guess not. I blame the big homies who told us: “Every chick has skeletons, they all go thru a h0e phase”
Granted. But there is a huge difference b/w “I had a minaj w/ 2 guys in college” (Which is a train btw) and “I get my checks from West Coast Productions”.
SN: No bull this chic actually tried to cash a check from WCP at a check cashing in North East (da hood). The lady behind the glass gave her the ill sideye and said no can do. Shorty promtly threw a fit, in the check cashing line. *Face palm* LAWWWWD WHY!!
Please, someone, anyone, help me. How can i make him see the light? Have I lost him to the Darkside?
Funniest. Sidenote. EVER! #thatisall
___________________ @ that sidenote! For real, I woulda cut up too. Why the hell couldnt they cash the check? I’m mad she didnt at least have enough shame to be discreet about it though.
You may have lost him to the Darkside, but I have a sidenote of my own. I died laughing when you said “I had a minaj w/2 dude (which is a train, btw) and it immediately made me think of my ex…
True story. My ex told me he’d participated in a threesome before. Now, to my small town fickle brain, I thought he meant him and 2 females. Always thought that…until he told the story and said that it was him, his male best friend and some chick. I IMMEDIATELY broke up with him. Why?
1. Any time you and your homie tag the same girl, at the same time and you’ve seen your homie’s c*m face and vice versa, you have officially crossed the gay line. Put a stamp on it.
2. This happened more than once, not with the same girl, but with him and his boy. So what that tells me is that he got off on doing this and that was him and his boy’s M.O. No bueno
3. Because it happened more than once, they enjoyed it and still went to the club mad frequently (see yesterday’s post) I felt they were on the prowl to do it again…I was a potential target for the herp or something equally as justifable in court for why I would have been forced to torch him and his man at the dinner table and walk away scott-free.
So, the moral of the story is two dudes and a chick engaged in a threesome is not a train if they bang off at the same time…it’s gay for the dudes involved.
Over & out!
@Mo
*drops jaw
*gives the legit_soul side eye… e__O (<— i think)
*wowwwww (in flava flav's voice).
glad you got out std free girl.
COTDAYUM! e_O
Miss Keisha, the side-eye is certainly justified in this instance. I gotta give it again: e_O
Mo (VSS), I respect your reasoning and decision to the fully!
Dead @ #1
I swear you made me choke on my water. So no bueno. But very true. Once you’ve seen “the face” of your homie it’s really a point of no return. Shame shame shame on it all
No words **** the only thing that I can think of to say about this is WTF??? 2 dudes in any equation = gay..eg. Omar & Brandon, lovas 4 life, so what there wasn’t no female involved there, but there was 2 dudes & that ladies & gentlemen of the jury is all I gotta say
How dare that happen more than once. Once is bad enough, in order for it to be somewhat permissible there must be a lot of alcohol/drugs, dark room, a gun, and no contact between the dudes for at least 4 weeks. The fact they do this often makes them a down-low low-down couple that gets down with the freaky.
1st of all…. super pause @ “i love milkshake decadence.” (-_O) moving on…
2nd of all…. law & order: ci is THE worst l&o!!!!! omg the fact that you can even sit through a few seconds of that trash is making me utterly irate!! does your girlfriend know about this?? she couldnt have approved that *smh*…. the 2nd spin off of ANY show is always a recipe for sheer disaster and monstrously horrid acting!!!! see csi: ny. wtf?!?!?! champerella–i may just quit you as a friend for this….
3rd… after collecting myself and picking my face back up from falling on the floor at champ-bastard’s admission of atrocity (see point 2), i LOLd at every single type of women mentioned and the descriptions to follow. very creative and hilarious (but still *side eyeing you champanzee*). i dont fall into any of those categories… sooooooo men feel free to run to me!!! im not toxic
#Gemdoesabodygood
Law & Order: CI is the best spin-off. Goren (Vincent D’Onofrio) rocks. (The Goldblum and Mr. Big version of CI does not count, by the way.) Denial is a very bad thing, Gemmie.
Yes Ms. P!!! You have great taste in shows. Goren makes the CI series. He gets at the why and not just the who. He is what makes CI worth watching. He allows you to follow him in his thinking and how he convinces the criminals to admit they committed the crime is just… WONDERFUL. I guess there is a psychological component that draws me in so. I am not a fan of the new guy while my bf seems to think he is fun just because they are from the same city.
Let’s force Gemmie to watch the next CI marathon.
Yeah, let’s!!! It will be fun.
i refuse this notion and rebuke the BOF of yous in the sweet and precious names of nightcap, halftime, AND kimberly!!!
NOT “the sweet and precious names of…”
*DEAD*
Back to life…they are kinda sweet & precious dough.
WHOA. Flag on the comment!!
“sooooooo men feel free to run to me!!! im not toxic”
Always end a great comment with a promo. I’m lovin’ it!!!
LOL! just wanted to make it clear to everyone that the Gemster is on the market. in case anyone might have been confused or misinformed.
The power of Christ compels you!
Clearly you are possessed to speak such of Law and Order: CI. The show that brought us the likes of Olivia D’Abo (Nicole Wallace) – the most attractive criminal mastermind ever to live.
the power of Christ in fact DOES compel me to rebuke this unholy and VERY DIRTY idea that ci is even worth the play time on my retina *smh*
COSIGN 100-em-effin-percent on CI being the effing WORST.. TEAM SVU
it looks like you’re out-numbered in this thread, gemmie.
That’s because everyone in the country that watches CI decided to post. BURN.
Burn deez.
no herpe. (lol…you’re welcome)
lol. Fin.
“miss patterson gets fired again.” thanks, yeah…so. thanks a lot.
exactly cheeks. i did a pole in my lab. nobody watches that ci bullsh*t. nerds bang with the original. #teamPHD
Of course they agreed with you. you did a POLE in your lab.
Now, I polled my lab and all the nerds here agree with me – CI is the best and Olivia D’Abo = hot!
#realTeamPhD
I am so dead at this whole exchange.
#NerdsBattleFTW
lmao! whats sad is i actually had every intention of correcting that HORRID typo (truly outrageous). but i had an experiment to run to and totally forgot.
thank gawd my phd doesnt depend on spelling or proper homonym usage.
So um… this list basically leaves men to be sucking each other’s toes for the rest of their lives. It includes almost every kind of woman, aside from the educated one, whose toxicity is normally a combination of educated and 1-5 but no one ever notices.
And…
iDie! at “Miss Lemony Snicket” LMAO!
My thoughts exactly. Fellas have officially eliminated 90% of the female population from the dating pool with this list.
It includes almost every kind of woman, aside from the educated one
lol, ya’ll must not think too highly of womankind if you think this list encompasses most/all women
welcome and sh*t btw (to both of you)
So um… this list basically leaves men to be sucking each other’s toes for the rest of their lives. .
Bwhahahahahahahahahahahaha! Toes?!?! Why toes?!?! Or is toes code for something else. Either way, hilarious!
Women don’t get good at sex until they’re 26? WTF?
P.S. This line and the fact that the list seems to be finding reason to call ANY woman toxic is one of the many reasons I choose to be abstinent at the moment. Y’all dudes call US crazy. Sheesh!
I think all women ARE toxic in some way. But not every reason is listed above. I like to think of our toxicity (this reminds me of that System of a Down song…hmm, it’s in my head now…wtf) as special powers.
Dats what I said cuz I fo’ sho’ was gettin dat good good at bur ruh 22-23! He was bout 31 tho (maybe that has something to do wit it *shrug*)
Women don’t get good at sex until they’re 26? WTF?
lol, ask any man who has been with a 20 year old and a 30 year old to tell you the difference.
i’m sure women probably feel the same about men, but since i havent had sex with any men, i cant speak on that.
“…the list seems to be finding reason to call ANY woman toxic”
again, this list only describes maybe 20-25 percent of women. it’s..eh. nevermind
Why (pick on) use Laila for the ‘act like a man’? Because she works out? She could be a tenderoni under all that muscle…. you never know….
^Prolly because she can knock a bish out…but I agree that Laila is a lovely lady and the rep or perception may not be true.
Y’all she kicks @sses for a living… seriously?
Why (pick on) use Laila for the ‘act like a man’? Because she works out? She could be a tenderoni under all that muscle…. you never know…
lol, yeah. i’m not saying that laila ali is like that in person, but her pic is a good representation of the type of woman i was talking about
So um…this list basically leaves men to be licking each other’s toes for the rest of their lives. It includes almost every type of woman aside from the educated one whose toxicity is normally a combination of educated and *any one of 1-5*…but of course no one ever notices that because she’s educated.
And…
iDie at “Miss Lemoney Snickett”…LMAO! Good One!
All this Law & Order talk got me reminiscing about some Homicide: Life on the Street.
MD stand up.
*drops mic and exits Randy Watson style*
Homicide: Life On The Streets was my show back in the day. Yaphet Kotto, Andre Braugher and Richard Belzer made me love that show.
@CBG, You said Yaphet Kotto! @Miss Tee Lee, you already know!
Off-topic:
CBG, Did you see Deadliest Warrior Comanche vs. Mongol?
@legitimate soul YES!!! @Yaphet Kotto!:-)
Been a fan of Yaphet for a long time. Don’t know too many famous Jewish black folks. Homicide was my show for real. Might have to cop that on DVD or iTunes. Dexter, too.
I saw the build up of that episode of Deadliest Warrior but I did not see who won. Do you know who did? Deadliest Warrior is a great show. I honestly learn so much from that show.
The Comanche won!
But the Mongols came close (lost by 20-30 battles in the simulations program). The Comanche bow an arrow game and some of their other weaponry had precision. Yet, this Mongol mase was the most savage piece of weaponry I have seen. When they had the course to bust skulls or heads, that mase made a whole skull explode and not much of any of the heads was left. I was at the house like “Oh, sh!t!” O_O The Comanche also had this small really short “flint-looking” knife that they were shanking fools with and cutting scalps with.
Who won between the Viet Cong and the Waffen SS?
The SS.
@Shay
I’m calling shenanigans on that!
@Wu
I call shenanigans on the whole show. Sun Tzu vs Vlad the Impaler? C’mon son. I just watch the show to see the demonstrations of the various weaponry.
@Shay,
Yeah the show does have some idiotic points. The computer guy summed it up when he said “We the SS, but not the Viet Cong.”
And considering the VC (in some form) managed to tie up three major armies over a three decade period.
“I call shenanigans on the whole show. Sun Tzu vs Vlad the Impaler? C’mon son. I just watch the show to see the demonstrations of the various weaponry.”
^I can totally understand this! I call shenanigans on William Wallace beating the Zulus. Heyall naw! Plus, the arrogance of some of the experts representing their respective warrior and the utter denial when they got beat during a round or weapon demonstration makes me give the side-eye often. e_O
@legitimate_soul
Some of the weapon experts aren’t even really experts. They’re Hollywood folk. The guy they had on to represent the KGB? He was definitely an expert though. William Wallace vs, Shaka Zulu? I remember thinking to myself that them cats tryin to show folks how to stick fight aren’t Zulu. I remember hearing the battle cry and thinking that just doesn’t sound right. Annnd, zulu stick fighting ain’t no joke.
@Wu
I was torn watchin that show…I wanted them to win, and at the same time, I didn’t want them to win. “You ninjas tried to kill my father” and all that jazz.
@Shay
“You ninjas tried to kill my father” ahhh black Bush was one of the best skits ever.
I understand where you coming from. I was trying to explain to one of my boys that the Confederate Army was rather good but he couldn’t see it. I told him I understand what they represented was foul but there’s no way that war should have lasted that long except because of their skill. Slave holding M***********s!
It was funny that the VC had actually defeated the SS via proxy. What they didn’t mention was that a lot of SS members joined the French Foreign Legion after WWII and went on to get their goose-stepping a**es handed to them during the French-Indochinese war. It is Spike TV and dumbed down so I get that too.
@Wu
I wasn’t aware that some of the SS joined the French Foreign legion.
I’ve never asked my father specifically about the Viet Cong, but I asked him about his reasons for joining up with the Southern Vietnamese side, his response was that the Viet Cong were lazy, didn’t value education, and they hated him and his family because they owned a significant amount of land and had a bit of wealth. He also said that the VC didn’t think for themselves.
Allegedly, my grandfather on my father’s side was an arms dealer that sold to both the VC and the Southern Vietnamese. I’m still trying to figure out what my feelings are on the VC, and the Vietnam War in general.
I LOVED Homicide. That was a kick azz show. Andre Braugher used to do something to me, *snicker* he was an azzhole, but again, I find that sexy…lol
Andre Baugher effin up someone in “the box”-nothing better, that show was the ORIGINATOR….B-More shows pretty much have it on lock, and oh BTW that show made me fall in love with Clark Johnson aka “Meldrick”, fell so in love with him that e’rry time I see/saw his name on “The Wire” credits, my heart just beats a little faster….
*picks up mic: QUEENSBRIDGE. oops. BALTIMORE!!!
Homicide is the MUTHAEFFEN truth. I started buying the dvd series. I have 2 more seasons to hunt down.
One of THEEE best shows EVER in the HISTORY of TELEVISION.
*chucks up deuces. chrisbrown.
I thought it was so dope when Munch had the brief cameo on The Wire in the bar he used to run on Homicide. #nerdmoment
@Wu: do you remember (#nomj) when Homicide did a crossover with Law & Order? that was wicked.
@Keisha Brown
I do remember that. Munch and Pemberton spent the entire ep arguing about the Yankees and Orioles in between doing actual police work. Classic!
What was the reptile like criminal that they had a hard time convicting on Homicide’s name? He was the skinny cat with the pony tale.Meldrick finally nailed him in the end.
@Wu…um..i TOTALLY know who you are talking about. The drug dealer/killer that kept walking…smooth talker, tall, light skinned, lanky dude….I can see his face!!!!
I gotta google…
Luther Mahoney
god bless wikipedia/google.
@Keisha Brown,
That’s him, Luther Mahoney. He was Marlo Stansfield before Marlo Stansfield. I think that actor played the medical examiner on the first season of The Wire too.
@Wu- you are correck on the medical examiner too #wireheads
All this Law & Order talk got me reminiscing about some Homicide: Life on the Street.
second best cop/street show ever. (next to the wire, of course. no coincidence that they were made by a few of the same people)
“second best cop/street show ever. (next to the wire, of course. no coincidence that they were made by a few of the same people)”
David Simon is that dude when it comes to shows about jake.
if homicide was before the wire…wouldnt that make it the best street show? im not being cheeky (#nocheekie), im genuinely asking.
david simon FTMFW. he should never have to beg for a show. EVER.
I’m actually gonna start reading Homicide the book, since Simon is the ish. Coworker (same one who hipped me to The Wire) recommended it.
if homicide was before the wire…wouldnt that make it the best street show? im not being cheeky (#nocheekie), im genuinely asking.
nah. first doesn’t mean best. bob cousy aint got sh*t on magic johnson
@Champ. Good point. I think the wire is off the charts wicked, but since we didnt get HBO in Canada until recently, was late (but blew me away once I did find it online).
I actually ask people which Law and Order they prefer. I prefer CI.
If the answer is SVU then they like to be emotionally drawn in.
If they answer CI then they like to think.
I can dig that explanation!
Great reasoning!
CI definitely makes you think. I always solve SVU stories around 25 minutes into them.
Hmm, this makes sense.
It never fails. That info can be used for evil purposes. Of course I don’t indulge though. People may think that you are odd but 5 minutes of seemingly scattershot questions can tell you everything you need to know about most people.
and if they like ci they also like horrid acting. and have a high probablility of being nicholas cage fans. neither of which i can condone.
but i do have my own litmus tests to see where ppl’s minds. the one i find most useful: favebasketball/football team. note: saying lakers (because of kobe) or dallas is an automatic fail and around the time i walk away because i know you have nothing intelligent to say and you are borderline gay from d*ck riding (nttawwt)
100% agree with the L&O: CI assessment from Gem. Vincent D’Nofrio (or however you spell his name) makes me want to throw things. He is single-handedly the WORST.ACTOR.ON.TV!
Ugh…hates that show for that sole reason. Every time I flip past it and see the cast, I get mad. …taking up valuable airspace with that bish…
I ask that one too If a woman says she likes pro sports They get a pass if they are from the LA or Dallas area. Everyone else gets a snicker.
i may give a pass if theyre from la and like the lakers. they get a red card if they are actual KOBE fans. foh.
i have a really close friend who is a cowboys fan. and a laker fan. from neither city. we have a real true to form love-hate relationship. we disagree a lot. and he can be a jerk. but as with his teams, hes my ride or die homie.
hes my ride or die homie.
…pause.
Enjoyable post as always. I also enjoyed Gem’s post.
Crackin’ up that the Lemony Snicket photo is of the Puss N’ Boots from Shrek and not a woman. Coldblooded@ the “Who’s is it?” response, LMAO (but ouch!)
Dayum, that milkshake looks like da’ debil. Mama Boucher/The Waterboy.
Dayum, that milkshake looks like da’ debil. Mama Boucher/The Waterboy.
it is the devil. and, at the risk of saying something that might break the gay percentage scale, the devil never tasted so good
I’oun know….the one that I was served didn’t taste nor look that good. But I’ll be honest and say I believe it stemmed from the “wet-in-the-booty-ninja” that made/served the shake to me. I started to request someone to make (not sure if you can do that). I know it sounds rude and not so nice, but that live image just kilt it.
I dreaded taking the first sip…so much that it went straight into the trash bin and everyone up front noticed. At the time I really didn’t care, although I felt a little guilty…I never showed it. Sorry François.
@legitimate_soul
awwwwww thanks
Sorry, Champ but SVU is the best spinoff but CI is ill, especially since Goldblum hit the scene. SVU will always be the sh!t.
Every woman you used as a picture for your description is bad (other than Puss N Boots, yet Antonio Banderas made a hilarious voice for him.). Like Angel Lola Luv because I got much love for Habesha (East African) women. I will always adore Laila Ali. Good ideas for kinds of tempting women. Good breakdowns as well.
Congrats to j.ivy on being first. Gotta shout out to Queensbridge. And to my girl Keisha Brown, stop reminding me that Caribana is approaching. Everytime you do, I cry a little inside because I can’t go this year. You better have fun.
@CBG: you have an e-boo to make it better for you.
i’ll be patrollin the streets like im homeless looking for love in all the wrong places. lol. im half kidding. bana for me is bday weekend, its already an excuse to act like i have no parents or broughtupcy, but is exasperated by all the a-a-a-a-alcohol.
let me be great CBG…i’ll be back to being ignored and single by August 2nd.
and it’s just a reminder that you gotta come back! i bet hotels are cheap for aug 2011! lol.
Be great, especially for your bday weekend. Because I have been at least one time is good for me. That made my summer of ’05. If I go again, it will be a blessing from God. Just take a shot for me. Every hour on the hour. For the entire weekend. My Cowboys starting training camp this weekend will help me get through it. Football season is coming! Yay!
Yay to football season!!
a shot ever hour on the hour? are you trying to kill me?? or do you just mean @ the club? lol.
and um.. YAY to training camp!! #bringonthenfl
ps: did you catch pros vs joes last night? it was nfl (TO, McNabb & Antonio Gates ) vs nba (Rick Fox, Kenny Smith, Hakeem the Dream). NFL won. Seeing TO & McNabb together hurt my feelings. One more year…and I could’ve had a ring.
*sniff, sniff…
ps: did you catch pros vs joes last night? it was nfl (TO, McNabb & Antonio Gates ) vs nba (Rick Fox, Kenny Smith, Hakeem the Dream). NFL won
wait, so they had a bunch of 45 year old n*ggas competing against active professional athletes?
@champ
pretty much. hakeem was getting vex @ one point too. and they almost beat the nfl’ers.
Hey there. You weren’t around yesterday when the first of my new stories went live. “Parent Teacher Conf” @ Counterfake.net. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it, lol.
And yes, SVU is the best spinoff of Law & Order and the only one of the Law & Orders I really watch (though I’ve kinda moved on to “Criminal Minds”).
@CBG
I like Habesha women too because they look like my peoples so it’s all good. We don’t have many in the south but every dang time I’m in nyc I get asked that. Getting Antonio to do the voice of puss was genius. We already concluded SVU was the best a few posts ago. lol
We are all crying over Caribana. No fair.
@SFG: the west indian massive will find this amusing. an article in today’s paper talking bout palance. and called it a choon. iDied @ choon. and of course..had to play the video. if i ever won the lotto, this is my theme song.
What???? Did someone say choon???? Come Nah SELECTA…while I’m winin up meh wais…*WIM in full effect
@bajan. here’s the article. CHOOON!! bruahahahaha!
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/caribana/article/838755–palance-party-soca-style-this-big-choon
LAWDHAVMURCY- dat deya gyal…she nuh have lickkle sense at all…WTH? choon…mi didda tawt it wudda bin some one of de paler nation whoffa say choon??? she no busnss writin nuttin bout caribbean anyting….*major chupes, kissteet, and alladat fi har!
LMAO… seriously, I coun’t read past “big choon (tune)”… whaa? who translates choon? kill yo’self lol
Wohyyy..dis tune sell off! And Bajan, stop badmind di gyal deh, she nuh know betta.. yuh see mi
I need to get back to T.Dot so I can buss it up with the massive
Haha what you know about JW & Blaze…i love me some soca
@bajan & yeah/so: LMAOOO. I know!! i died. soo funny.
if ppl could comment on it, she would be cussed and corrected.
@tonecapone: CHUNE IS WICKED YES?? I was soo hyped listening to it here at work. Im gonna hear it like 90million-leven times next Sat. and yes. you need to come back.
@champ: 7 years!?!?! that’s eons! we’ve actually finished construction at yonge and dundas.
i welcome you all with open arms! come back!! we’ve been shooting free for a few years!! lol.
We are all crying over Caribana. No fair.
i’m crying that i’m missing caribana for the 7th straight year. (ive only been there once, but it made such an imapct with me that my life has been separated into pre and post caribana sections)
why does VSB hate me?? what wont VSB let me win?? *hangs head at the disappearing acts of her post comments*
Gem,
Just for the record, this line…..”Halftime, IT’S SHOWTIME!!” is priceless…Lol…one of the best self-motivational mantras I’ve ever heard…
*i’m waiting to meet the woman who says…”Thunder….Thunder….ThunderCat….HOOO!!!” that’s wife material right there…lol
my email was cheetara until i was about 20-somethin.. people just don’t appreciate greatness like that anymore..
you just went up a level in my book..
i reference the Thundercats even in my blog, they’re so dope…
Women that can talk about 80′s cartoons are so damn sexy.
Thank ya’ kindly…I do what I can when I can…
I hear you on the Thundercats love. I have a t-shirt with the Thundercats logo on it, red on black. I wore it to a casual bar and it ended up being a great ice-breaker
i have that same shirt!!
it’s a thing of beauty i tell ya.!!
if they EVER EVER EVAH make a movie and ruin thundercats..imma go OFF on someone.
leave our childhood (last era of real cartoons) ALONE!
carry on.
@Keisha, This is a fan-made trailer from almost 2 years ago. They did a good job! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb50GMmY5nk
@legit_soul: BRUAHA! AWESOME!
How much you wanna bet it’s already in the works? At least in the someone’s head. lol
leave our childhood (last era of real cartoons) ALONE!
I second that. That era is untouchable…as a matter of fact, I believe that I still have my She-Ra: Princess of Power T-shirt.
OMG! She-Ra!!
Wait.. i think i just figured something out. I was born to be a wedding planner, cuz I spent half my childhood pairing She-Ra and He-Man.
*in awe of this epiphany…LMAO
I was born to be a wedding planner, cuz I spent half my childhood pairing She-Ra and He-Man.
Ew…Y’know they were cousins, right?
@DG: not when I was a kid.
DG,
They were actually siblings…twins I believe. It’s no wonder KeishaB and so many of us (innocent) little girls thought they made the perfect pair. #Noincest
YES@Ms. Butta’sWorth…They were brother and sister. (I have the POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)
legitimate_soul,
LMAO. You’za fool.
@DG
lmao thank you thank you *takes a bow* sometimes you just need a little pep talk to get the party started.
Just wanted to say that I love Jurnee Smollett in that last photo. She’s a talented and beautiful young lady. Very underrated IMHO.
I concur. To see her go from the little girl on Full House to The Great Debaters over the years is pretty cool. She has grown into a beautiful young lady and I hope she to see her in more movies. She is very talented.
yep!!!, I don’t know if she’s taking an acting break or gets that many roles or turns them down, not to be typecast/steroetypical character, but she played that role in Eve’s Bayo, I forget Megan Good’s in that movie too, but for some reason I think of Megan Good as a video vizen but Jurnee is sooo underated, I see her staring in independent films/fils that mainstream theaters/movies wouldn’t advertise frequently that go on to win Oscars, Golden’ Globes etc. also Julia Stiles is a good actress to she just got blacklisted since Save the Last Dance
not sure why I’m even commenting on the j.styles bit but her acting is…what acting? Chick always looks the same, couldn’t really dance…ugh. I never cared for her, she was just the only 2520 willing to work with negroes as the love interest, consistently. Best role she played was in the Borne movie, can’t remember which one, but still no riveting performance. c’est tout.
not sure why I’m even commenting on the j.styles bit but her acting is…what acting? Chick always looks the same, couldn’t really dance…ugh. I never cared for her, she was just the only 2520 willing to work with negroes as the love interest, consistently. Best role she played was in the Borne movie, can’t remember which one, but still no riveting performance. c’est tout.
Jurnee looks like a bobblehead. Sorry.
Blasphemy!
Jurnee Smollett is on NBC’s Friday Night Light’s weekly. She does a good job on that show. Actually, that whole entire cast/show/writing is superb! Seriously…more people should watch it.
Just wanted to say that I love Jurnee Smollett in that last photo. She’s a talented and beautiful young lady. Very underrated IMHO
when i was searching for pics of her to use in today’s entry, i was surprised and flabbergasted by how, ummm, hot she’s become, lol. gotdamn. when did that happen?
Actually,
I feel like jurnee smollett is a young keri washington, looks-wise and personality-wise. its like a natural progression.
Dude, you don’t ever lie.
The super sexy hoodrat is definitely hard to keep your eyes off of, and I’m speaking from firsthand experience. Wasn’t a terrible situation, but you definitely find out that you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. But that sex appeal is hard to get over.
My ex was a femme fatale. Didn’t work. And yes, they use the same damn methods for getting everything. But I think between the two of us, I’m the one who upgraded.
But I think I upgraded to a tenderoni with a side of lemony snicket. We’ll see how it plays out. But things look promising. And she can cook. So no problem there. lol.
Wasn’t a terrible situation, but you definitely find out that you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. But that sex appeal is hard to get over.
my one hoodrat experience as a grown up wasn’t too bad either. i wised up and exited though after learning who the father of her 3 year old was.
I always chuckle when a man says: And she can cook. I’m thinking: “she’s supposed to (know)” (lol)…well, most adults should. But I understand why so many would put such an emphasis on (what some would label) such a tedious task. I really do.
Good to read you’ve got yourself a keeper.
I had to stop lurking for this one
it was just too good to pass up…
First and foremost, CI is the sh*t! Stabler who? It’s all about that Goren!
Second, if men know all these things about these women, why do they still play Russian roulette with the pen*s over these same types? There are girls who fit all types perfectly and yet some dude is happy trailing behind her and for what? To get shot at? To get smothered in his sleep? I ask you is that justice?
*died @ “miss lemony snicket”*
Second, if men know all these things about these women, why do they still play Russian roulette with the pen*s over these same types
we’re idiots.
welcome and sh*t, btw
Thanks and sh*t
I have so much VSB Comment Catchup Reading to do!!! Le Sigh!!
I just want to comment. I have nothing to say really.
I just want to know that I am apprecitated as a commenter. Or… you know what?? I’m going back into lurking.I love you vsb. i love you.
stop the lurking or you will get an appreciate deez!!! lol.
we like you too and sh*t, anastasia.
26, eh? Well I turn 25 in a week so I guess I need to do some hardcore *ahem* training in the next couple of months if I’m going to be truly prepared.
p.s SVU FTW although ci has gotten better since that annoying guy has left
p.s SVU FTW although ci has gotten better since that annoying guy has left
blasphemy!!!!
Love that you turned an oreo shake into a list about women. work it out. and SVU is way better (it can’t be said enough)
Love that you turned an oreo shake into a list about women.
i can turn anything into a list about women. i’m gifted like that
lol!
BTW…these ladies are not toxic!
After being w/ the losers I dealt w/ I wish I was more like them…
BTW…these ladies are not toxic!
what ladies?
um the topic?
“look, but don’t touch: 5 extremely tempting…and toxic types of women”
Oh Im sorry, these ‘women’ are not toxic… lol
The fact that I was scrolling for 10 secs & all I got past were the folks fighting for first is just…
But this: between the embarrassment you’ll feel during sex when you say “whose is it??” and she replies “not yours, weak d*ck muthaf*cker“,
made me cackle loudly and spit out my water. That’s just mean.
“The fact that I was scrolling for 10 secs & all I got past were the folks fighting for first is just…”
I would blame me, but I never encouraged “…” as a comment. In fact, I blatantly discouraged it. Ninjas…
lol
(Also, I’m glad you’re thuggie luvvie again)
The fact that I was scrolling for 10 secs & all I got past were the folks fighting for first is just…
ummm…didn’t you start this like two years ago? people in glass house can’t throw deez
No the hell I didn’t, Humpty! I ain’t never say “FIRST” and drop the mic. Me and Kamakula actually put real comments. And then “First.” :-p
*throws a peanut at your head through the window of my glass house*
LOL this comment tickled me
Watch it Champ,
Luvvie is right. Not only were we first, we actually had full fledged commentary not only on the topic but to each other. Tell these youngin’s to step their game up!
SVU is hands down the best L&O. Benson, Stabler, Munch and Tutuola? They don’t have enough wise cracks on Criminal Intent.
wrong
Yay for your greatness Champie, but this and she replies “not yours, weak d*ck muthaf*cker“, HAS THIS REALLY EVER HAPPENED? Idunno bout anyone else BUT, I’m thinking that this could certainly cause someone to get charged with somethin, just cause dudes don’t usually ‘preciate you talmbout their ahem *p*nis, johnson, one-eyed monstah, or whatever cute names they have come up with for their little-head friend. I just think that this is a recipe for disaster, although it is a HIGHlarious thing to say, i think “dems fighting words”
i’ve never said this.. but i HAVE made someone get off of me because i’m hungry.. i’m sure he had to feel a certain way but REALLY!! i was hungry and the chex wasn’t worth the belly growl…
#DEAD wah hahahaha
bwwahhhaa! I’m dead!
tell my mama to bury me a g….
dayum Nick, you’re no joke….. however bad chex ain’t never worth no belly growl
Yay for your greatness Champie, but this and she replies “not yours, weak d*ck muthaf*cker“, HAS THIS REALLY EVER HAPPENED?
i’m sure it has
just cause dudes don’t usually ‘preciate you talmbout their ahem *p*nis, johnson, one-eyed monstah, or whatever cute names they have come up with for their little-head friend.
Then they shouldn’t ask such silly questions…
AGREED
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. so according to this list, the hood rat, the young and inexperienced, the older and experienced, the inbetween and experienced, the well off, the overly not-feminine are all toxic LOL! I feel like you’re gonna create a list soon entitled “4 types of non toxic people” and it’ll go 1. babies, 2. men, 3. female relatives (sometimes), 4. oprah.
Oprah???? Lol
Oprah???? Lol
Lol…SMH that I think you could be right!
I just wanna say. L&O SVU beats CI. I actually preferred the original until Lenny died
. I’m looking forward to LA. When does that start?
**off to read Gems blog while singing Britneys toxic in my head-thanks to whoever mentioned that**
@Oft Confizzled…that would be i.
re: #5, thank GOD i’m older than 26.. that generalization works for me.. (only because it works in my favor)
actually, none of these apply to me..
but give me a minute, let me think..
my toxic women aren’t easy to notice upfront..
#6: the ball buster- this one will have you questioning your man quotient.. she’ll have you dedicating songs on the “Love Hour” and then ignore your calls. you think she likes you but what’s really happened is that she collects man parts like her own house of horrors. don’t be surprised if she’s always dodging calls and like a simp, you’ll believe her excuses.. (she ain’t got that many cousins) you don’t know at what point you became a p*ssy, that’s whipped by p*ssy.. but then again, you don’t care.. you don’t tell the fellas half the things she has you doing because you know they’d clown you..
#7: the movie temptress: this one is the type of broad that exists when there’s a perfect hair/makeup team involved.. she’ll make you the most insecure dude the planet has ever known.. you’ll find yourself thinking every man wants her. will start taking “drunken monkey” classes and purchasing spy equipment.. you’ll wanna tap her phone and question every movement because you can’t believe you keep her satisfied.. aww sweetie, odds are if you’re THAT paranoid, you don’t satisfy her.. you don’t have the time because you’re too busy reviewing the tapes..
For the ladies
#8 the “sexy out the womb”: (this one is from my personal collection)
this type of person believes that he was sexy from birth. That’s not a problem, the issue occurs when they’re constantly seeking attention. They will say it was “just talking” and convince you that he didn’t know how she got his number. He’s constantly wanting validation and when he meets someone, he won’t admit that he has a woman. it’s not until he is busted that he’ll consider that he actually did something wrong. and this is around the time that he’ll get slapped because Nick was tired of hearing it…
(that story was hypothetical, by the way)
#ImJustSayin
#WeWereAllYoungOnce
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…this started my morning well. The sexy out the womb brotha is toxic. The guy that doesn’t have to do anything but lean against your wall, sippin beer in a white tee and cargo shorts while lookin at you with low slits. He’s all lotioned up with a fresh fade and facial features that make you moist. Broad back and strong arms…..Oh I’m sorry. Excuse me.
*waves hands in front of your face*
Come back girl, come back!!
@sfg….
yess….preeaaaach…
*swoons right with you.
Lmao @ 8th Wonder haha
Keisha gurl that WAS my ex…that ninja got me for 10 years on that bs.
@SFG: oh dear. that’s trouble indeed…
@SFG & Keisha Brown,& all o y’all, and on my tombstone it shall read “at least he had broad back and strong arms” -if I gotta go, at least let me go happy#that isall
DWL!
#6: the ball buster & #7: the movie temptress
Yessss…I’ve seen these types before. Good additions to the list!
Very wonderful additions to the list…curse the #8′s of the world. My contribution to man kind is from here on out I will only sleep with ugly men to reduce the chances of producing any #8′s!!!
**Your welcome in advance**
I’m dating #8 right now…sigh
*****gets grits ready for his return*****
Nick- I am OFFICIALLY hollering…I heart you for these additions
#youdabomb.com
I don’t think many men fall for the sexy hoodrat anymore. Maybe younger guys but not men cause when I see that sexy hoodrat she’s usually with a hood brotha. They seem to be the only ones who like that type. Men do stare, hell I stare. I’m not gay but that chick with tha donk who walks slightly forward like her breasts are pulling her down, (with legs gapped) and red streaks in her hair gets stares out of me. Women just don’t look like that where I’m from. I actually stood behind a girl yesterday in Dillards with the smallest waist/biggest butt I have seen in a while. She was talking animated to her friend and her butt kept jiggling. I was like daaaaaaammmn. No homo lol
The one of your list that always surprises me is the man chick. I’m not a man so I probably can’t talk but I never saw the appeal in the woman that looks like a woman but acts like a dude. It’s just not sexy. There’s a girl at my office who is pretty but everything is “nigg@ this nigg@ that and that mofo bet not and this muth@frugga dawg!” She tells dudes about themselves and is constantly kicking men out. Her stories are hilarious but I just feel sorry for her like she’ll never get a man…and the girl has more men than amber rose. I don’t get it. I thought men liked feminine women. She doesn’t cook/clean and treats chex like most men. Hell, when we’re outside of work she actually makes whistles and calls at men (yes!) and they come over too. Wow
Side note:
Champ, this: “her uber sexiness (and fighting ability) is enough to (almost) make you forget that the man whose initials are tattooed on her ass murdered your neighbor two years ago.”
I don’t know you but I love you. LMBO
“Hell, when we’re outside of work she actually makes whistles and calls at men (yes!) and they come over too. Wow”- SERIOUSLY???? Who Knew???*pulls out pen and begins adding to list of things that I had no idea that men would respond to….I tell ya this VSB site is like the emeffin Uof Phoenix(online program only ) of these here interwebs
Lol at “U of Phoenix(online program only)” comment…
As a general rule, I think we’re more responsive and approachable than many women realize…it’s just that most women don’t approach/initiate, as it goes against that whole natural order of things w/ the man being the hunter/pursuer (I believe there’s an old post Champ wrote re: reasons why women shouldn’t approach). In nature, you don’t see antelope rolling up on lions talkin ’bout “hey…you KNOW you want some of this…my ribs feelin real tender right now”…do you? Have the lions all confused like “wtf?” (as you can tell, I like me some Wild Kingdom)…
OK, still taking notes here…so should we or shouldn’t we??? Now I’m really confused -like a ball of confusion (Way Back Temptations Ya heard)
Real men approach/pursue…although it is a change of pace (albeit flattering) when women initiate something. We like the chase, so I say let us chase you. However, I will tell you don’t be afraid to say hello, smile, or give a compliment to a dude…makes the chase seem worthwhile if we know she’s at least intrigued.
why thank you so much for your insight, if Jai hadn’t already claimed you as her e-boo (and I wasn’t so scurred of her avatars, I might try e-flirting wichu myself), truly ya’ll VSB’ers shall never know how much insight you provide….that is until I write my book about it and include all y’all in it -insert batsh*t crazy laugh here
@Bajan
First off I’m dying laughing at you Bajan. Jai’s avis scare me too. I picture her as that pretty chic that walks around with a blade under her tongue….don’t do it girl. Just say hi to him and keep on pushing.
@DG
That’s what I thought. I’m sure it’s cute for the moment but I doubt a man really respects a woman who’s so forward. I will try to smile more or look longer to let a man know I’m interested. This was insightful.
@DG
DEAD at your antelope analogy. Lmao. I hear the females are aggressive in DC and approach dudes. I’ve never done it. I’ll be standing next to a cutie prayin he talks to me but I won’t say a world. I don’t even make eye contact. Hmmm that’s something to think about. So do you like a woman to approach you or are you turned off?
It’s usually flattering when women try to approach you… the couple of times that it’s happened to me, it kinda caught me off guard…as a man, you don’t really expect it, so it kinda throws you off a lil’…at least for me it does (I ain’t no Denzel/Idris Elba-type dude…I consider myself very avg. lookin’). I kinda operate under the mindset that ain’t no women checkin for me, so I’m genuinely surprised if a woman says something to me…even more so if she’s attractive. A classic case of the Mountain coming to Moses, if you feel me.
And yeah, I’m sure you don’t have much trouble w/ guys tryin to holla, but there’s no need to clam up around a dude you feelin. H*ll, you could “accidentally” bump into him, say excuse me, and that would be all the opening dude needs to start chatting u up. Or you could ask him who won the game…it don’t even matter what sport you talking ’bout…all you’re really doing is giving him an excuse to talk to you. I’m telling you, we’re a lot more receptive than you all could ever be…
*strokes chin* interesting. hmmmm submissive flirting or something like that. I let you know I’m interested while keeping my womanhood in tact. Btw, you aint average lol
*rubbing my temples, and so co-signing the “he ain’t average”, the rubbing the temples part is coming from me justa wondering if I could take Jai??? I mean maybe if I had a shank or something, anyone, anyone?
LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!! she invented shanking so i say no. No matter what happens I got yo back…waaaaaaay back over there —–>
The one of your list that always surprises me is the man chick. I’m not a man so I probably can’t talk but I never saw the appeal in the woman that looks like a woman but acts like a dude. It’s just not sexy
its a change of pace, and it’s an answer to what alot of guys think that they want.
I like how you threw in “think” what they want. When you do get the woman who isn’t clingy, emotional and kicks you out is a blow to the male ego and puts her in the friend category i think.
it’s an answer to what alot of guys think that they want.
Or really want…. Ha!
Just stopping by to give my obligatory co-sign to LOCI. SVU is too much drama, and they use the insanity defense every other episode.
Also, big ups on the Jurnee tenderoni picture. Jurnee:Helagramki:: Christine Flores:Panama.
“Jurnee:Helagramki:: Christine Flores:Panama.”
OMG…I am dying…
And I always love a good standardized test analogy.
(I HATE standardized tests)
Thanks, I try.
LLS!
Now I think we need a list of toxic guys!!! LOL I got the 1st one for you…
1. The Tease: he acts interested but is only after the chase. As soon as he gets some he disappears.
The tease would constitute of 89.6% of men, and then there would essentially be no list.
As follows:
1. The tease
2. All the rest
@Ms Kay
You most def have a point! LOL
“and you can actually be a hoodrat without being from the hood.”
Champ, I have to disagree here. The only thing more worse than an actual hoodrat is a chick from the suburbs that tries WAY too hard to be hood….despite actually never setting foot there.
See “New New” from ATL if you need an example.
Actual hoodrats are down for whatever, whenever. Even when you’re not, and often against the advice of their p.o. If you two happen to be clubbing together (which is unwise), and some guy happens to step on your shoes, you may play it cool but she’s ready to go all Shyne Po.
….Because she’s “from Eastside and fuck all THAT shit.”
Which I suppose is a good enough reason.
Toy rats are usually the run-their-mouth-all-day types but when it comes to the comedown, they always find convenient reasons to cop out. They’re easy to spot because when because when threatened their voices go from Nikki Minaj to Reese Witherspoon in no time flat.
Also, when in the presence of a real hoodrat, you’ll notice that they start overcompensating how “hard” they are in a weak effort to certify their gangsta.
….I’m sure we all know a few.
I agree with some of this but I think you are mostly speaking on authentic HOOD and not necessarily rats…yeah people know when its OFFICIAL! LLS and yes you spot the posers/bamas cause they do get shook by the mere presence of real thing, a mix of admiration and intimidation sometimes sprinkles of hate LOL..not rattish at tall more like Hood Couture, wit much style class and grace, refined and sophisticated while being highly intelligent.
Hmmm, I think I just realized that I make no distinction between “hood” and “rat.” To me, the two go hand in hand.
I’m a firm believer that you can be from the hood (i.e. not the scary type), but that doesn’t mean you have to act like it.
Someone asked on FB last night, “How do you spoil a hoodrat?”
We all joke, sh*t, I said wings and MD 20/20, but it went waaay too far waaay too quick, because of the association of hood = hoodrat. There is huge difference between the two.
I’m crying FOUL!…how did Bdot get the F and the S word in his comment? That’s no fair. Ya’ll wanna moderate me for my cuss words…it adds flavor! Sorry, excuse me.
Bdot, I was NewNew for many years (don’t judge me) and the most down chick you will ever meet from the suburbs. Ha! I was that skinny redbone who threw down in highschool (cause i had to). I won my hood points for tearing up the scary hood chick in my school because she actually burnt a piece of my hair with her lighter one day in class (Yes!). I guess we all have our moments. I think we all got some hood tendencies no matter where you’re from.
I know I do.
*bites into hot sausage*
We’re not supposed to swear? My humble apologies.
SmartFoxGirl, I feel you. You can be down, and from the ‘burbs. Not being from the hood doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t fight or assert yourself when you need to (without the situation subsequently erupting in gunfire). I’ve met a few that way.
I’m talking about the people that front. The gum poppin, finger waving, neck rolling, red & green kool-aid track twirling, “I wish a bish would type” …. that go and hide once the drama pops off.
To me, that’s the worst. Just do you.
I know who you speak of, but there is distinction a BIG dinstiction, same thing with Hood And Ghetto, not the same things at all!!!!
That’s the point I was trying to get across last night. If that’s the correct representation, I think I stop feeling some sort of way whenever someone says “bama a*s ninja” around me. I always felt like it was a shot at the south.
*I think I can
SMH.
I kinda feel that way too tho… something about that “bama” reference just don’t quite sit right.
Shay and Yeah…SO, that is so not about the south( altho it may have started off that way originally in the 20th century sometimeLOL), or even clothes, its more about mentalilities…cool folk are everywhere, not enough LOL just like bamas are everywhere..
*cringe*… You what? I know why irks me so bad and it definitely has nothing to do with the person using it… my ex is from up north(CT to be exact) and he would always refer to myself and southerns as bamas to P-I-S-S me off (and it ALWAYS worked)… so now no matter what “bama” in like a 2520 saying “ni99er” (maybe even worse)… I hate letting something that have control over me! ugh!
@OS2H *cringe*… You know what? I know why it irks me so bad and it definitely has nothing to do with the person using it… my ex is from up north(CT to be exact) and he would always refer to myself and southerns as bamas to P-I-S-S me off (and it ALWAYS worked)… so now, no matter what just the word “bama” is like a 2520 saying “ni99er” (maybe even worse)… it can even be an actual bama saying it and I just die every time… I hate that that has such control over me! ugh!
oops!
@Yeah…So-just let it go girl …LLS you know you ain’t no Bama, so eff em Reason # 6,579 why he is an ex
yeah so girl please there are more bamas up there than anything, suspects as well!
Next time he tries that ask him how New York feel about CT LOL
@bajanflchick you right Pumpkin *deep exhale*… thank you fo dat! lol
@OS2H *edap* dats a good one, too bad I blocked his arse and Ion’t answer private numbers *shrug*
I feel you. I know that chick too. The one who’s mysteriously in the bathroom or at the bar when ish pops off.
*poppin gum and twirlin red hair* I wish a bish would.
OMG SFG – this is getting scary…
I was the girl whose parents were middle class but sent me to the inner city high school because they had a great performing arts magnet program. Anyhew, the hood girls didn’t like me because I dressed preppy and had long hair.
Well one day this hoodrat chick put a lighter up to my hair and tried to set it on fire. I commenced to whooping her as* all up and down the hall-way (I grew up with 3 brothers). My HS experience definitly gave me a little-bit of that hood-swag that kept me grounded. (sniff, sniff – shout out to HJH)
Gurl this is freaky! When I hit 10th grade I begged my mom to let me go to a more diverse school in another city. It was mostly west indians who all look different but the other handful were black american who were bussed in from over crowded schools. It was like war. Americans didn’t like the Caribbean folk and vice versa. It was actually pretty stupid considering we were all black. I never forget her name was Treneice. *shivers* The girl had like 60lbs on me. I didn’t even know she did it until I heard people gasping. She was just looking at me and my girl told me she burnt a piece of my hair and I blacked out. All I know is I had a fistful of her hair and a split knuckle.
I ain’t forgot neither SMART FOX… and neither has my bald spot grrrrrrrr!
*Snickering*
Yall are some fools!
O_O bwahahahahahahahaha I just fell out and knocked over my cup! You are too much.
Champ, I have to disagree here. The only thing more worse than an actual hoodrat is a chick from the suburbs that tries WAY too hard to be hood….despite actually never setting foot there.
see, to me a hoodrat is any woman who wants to exhibit hoodrat behavior (general ignorant, skankiness, and uncouthness). it doesn’t matter if they’re actually from the hood or not
see, to me a hoodrat is any woman who wants to exhibit hoodrat behavior (general ignorant, skankiness, and uncouthness). it doesn’t matter if they’re actually from the hood or not
In that case Champ, you’ve just defined the characteristics of (drumroll)…..your resident Chickenhead.
In addition, I believe there is a difference in “being down” = one characteristic of hood….vs…..a rat (who will only surface if there’s any sign of cheese….then scatter)…nothing more, nothing less. But when you put those two (literally) side by side, you’ll recognize the difference. The only thing they really have in common is their prevalence throughout certain demographics. As matter of opinon, “pidgeons” and hoodrats have more similar traits than one whose identified as being hood…
“since most women don’t actually get good in bed until they’re 26″
Wow Champ! How old is your girl?
DEAD.
Deader!
I bet Vincent D’Onfrio never told anyone to ‘eat a hot bowl of d*cks’
This comment wins the interwebs.
he did shoot his drill sergant before. and he has turned into a giant cockroach
*DIES*
I’m gonna blow up my computer soon…
ooooook this clearly went over my head as i have no idea what ur talking about. Unless ur referencing something regarding kafka which is the only time i remember anyone turning into a giant cockroach
Lurker here… but i’m un-lurking to say that I am miss “think like a man…and act like a man too”
that is all…
welcome and sh*t.
and, i’m sorry
yo, how do you think the chick in the Shymagazine pic you used feels about being the official posterchild for the Supersexy Hoodrat Chicks? LOLO And is that Angel Lola Luv, or a stunt double?
lol, that is lola luv. she’s the first person that came to mind when thinking of this topic.
welcome and sh*t, btw
Women don’t get good at sex until they’re 26? WTF? .
Either that, or they get with an older man at an earlier age and learn the tricks of the trade. LOL
true DAT! Dem older wangs are good for something… but not much beyond dat.
wait… I felt the need to clarify I’m refering to older as in when I was 21, 31 wang was the bizness… old dusty d*ck, eh eh no tank yah!
DEAD@old dusty d*ck, eh eh no tank yah!, seriously just DEAD!
LMBO!!!!
old dusty d*ck, eh eh no tank yah! .
Bwhahahahahahaha!!!!! I know what you meant as far as clarifying, because I started to say put an age on their, so yall didn’t like I was talking about being 14 with the 30 year old chester. But said naw, I think they’ll know what I mean
ya’ll know women don’t fully mature sexually til the mid 30′s on up, peak and such, so 26 was generous, certain things only come with age and experience……..I prefer my men in the 38 to early 40′s range quite sexy, seasoned, distinguished, highly skilled in the art certified pro’s……
Okay good people of VSB. I read all of the comments thus far. I’ve also read Gem’s blog.
I retired Sandpaper for the good of the site. Had more VSS’s got caught up I wouldn’t have. I was counting on more of you not paying attention to the the disclaimer I gave in the beginning.
After reading Gem’s blog, there are more things that I tried to convey through Sandpaper that still weren’t picked up.
It would take a majority vote between Champ, Panama and Liz for me to revive Sandpaper. Who thinks that’s gonna happen?
who cares? (that’s mean… but seriously who does?)
@Beta get over it… that was SOOO earlier this week.
@Yeah…So….with the Kapow….carry on*
@Yeah..so,
That wasn’t mean, that was your opinion. What should I be getting over?
Everyone doesn’t come to this site for the same reasons. Some come for entertainment, some come to learn, some come to teach, some come to e-bond with other commenters and some come just to be first.
Some of the readers might want to see ‘Sandpaper’ again.
Just sayin…
some come just to be first.
Ok, that made me guffaw.
Carry on.
@Sula yeah that was a nice lil zinger
@Beta… point is/was… do what you want to do #spent
something is wrong with you dude….get help for that
@SFG
Lol. I’m writing a book and the main character is Sandpaper. He comes around in the end thanks to the love of a good woman. Stop taking this so personally.
I’m not taking it personally
Again…something is wrong with you dude….get help for that
Are you in theater, perchance?
No. I teach for a living.
Oh, thought you were researching for your acting roles…but now I see it’s just for fun. No harm. Carry on…
Oh, and teaching for a living is hot. Keep carrying on…
It would take a majority vote between Champ, Panama and Liz for me to revive Sandpaper. .
I am over here cracking up at this! I think it’s because I truly believe that you are dead.serious. Bwhahahaha!
I am serious. It’s their site.
@BetaMale
hol uh hol uh holllll uhp!!! what me or my blog got tuh do wit dis?
im sooooo confused by whats going on. perhaps i shoulda paid more attn to what was going on that day instead of trying to be funny about my swoonage. #readingisfundamental
Some of the posters thought they were correcting the attitude of the worst type of alpha male. What they forgot, or didn’t know, is that Sandpaper was a fictional character.
Some well placed comments by others here led me to your blog where I read the comments about that character.
I see that I may have done more damage than good with some posters here as they can’t seem to let it go.
I’m sorry that I duped some of you but many others here could have let you in on it.
Nice blog Gem.
ohhhhhh i get it…. *nodding and shaking head*
pregunta: if sandpaper is fictionaly, and you meant him to be fictional (for “research” purposes *wink wink*) why would you tell everybody? why wouldnt you just let him be hated as the antagonist of the vss’s or altogether phased him out quietly while emerging as betamale or whatever other name you use (i cant keep up, obviously)? just wondering.
and thanks for the compliment! really i do sincerely thank you because you were EXCELLENT inspiration for my latest post. i couldnt have done it without you. halftime also takes this time you give thanks
He was causing too much drama here. I’m sure Champ and Panama were growing tired of him.
Wait… So who’s left?
Haaaa! When I read #5 I was like……*sigh*….to be a Tenderoni again…until I got to the negatives that is and then I remembered how self absorb, immature, and insecure I was. Thanks for reminding me that everything may not be as perky but now I’m a better person and sh*t!
Big ups to Laga! That used to be the undergrad SPOT before they shut it down! (Tear)
Whenever I come across the word “Tenderoni,” I am reminded of the turn-of-the-millennium classic “Shorty Swing My Way” by KP and Envyi.
That was my jam and (unfortunately) I will be singing this all afternoon. But the girl singing that was probably sho’nuff a hood chick (maybe a hoodrat but I didn’t hear no smacking).
im surprised we made it through a WHOLE day of posts without a link to THIS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnia5AKu6F4
oh and SSMW by KP/E is the CHOON! (yep..im officially using it). bruahahaha.
GURLLLLL, that whole cd was the ISH, back in the day before Bobby found Whitney, & Whitney found crack, and well, you know how that story ends…
Gotta come back & read comments when I have time, but the initial post is HILARIOUS! Good one, Champ! “not to send work emails in tweet speak” – LOLOL!
I think I have found the toxic woman that encompasses most VSS…the Idris-ines.
Men never know they have an Idris-ine until that fateful moment (similar to Tom’s breakdown after the Usher encounter on Boondocks).
Figure you found the right one, introduced her to mom, she educated, smart, funny, total package. You got yo honey dip on your arm walking down the street. All of the sudden, you see a gaggle of thirsty women on the one and only Idris Elbia. He’s been spotted. Next thing you know, all you hear is a bird’s flapping wings. You look down and it’s actually your girl “clapping her @ss” (thanks Champ). She’s become the hoodrat, pop-lock-and-dropping to get her one chance at her dream man. At that moment you ain’t nothing but a weak d*ck mofo and the lemony snicket thinks Idris can’t do nothing BUT take care of business. After Idris walks away with a pile of panties in his crew’s pocket (including your girl’s), she’ll give you that “you aint ish but I’ll guess I’ll settle” look…?
I’ve encountered an Usher/Trey Songz-ine.
Soon after, I gave her the boot-ine.
Sadly, I thought she was the one too, until i realized she was type Ho-positive.
And I’m just not compatible with that.
she was type Ho-positive.
Oh No! (I laughed a little)…
But maybe there was some misunderstanding? Or a little bit of room to let her grow and mature as well? No? I mean… Being a fan (or stan) of a star is par for the course nowadays given the celebrity culture we live in… Maybe she just light weight stanned for them… and it was a harmless crush? No?
Harmless crush? Hardly.
Misunderstanding? Hmnnn. Let me seeeee…..Her telling me if she got the opportunity, she would’nt come home that night, and I would just have to take one for the team doesn’t leave much room for miscommunication or misinterpretation. And trust me, there was no jest in her tone, and no playfulness in our entire conversation on this matter. She was serious. Apparently, in her eyes, this was excusable since they were celebs and not Jeromes from up da block.
Yeah, she had to go.
I can deal with a harmless schoolgirl crush. Not a full on Groupistocrat.
Groupistocrat? You are killing me Mr. Sobo!
But anyways, I think I had that harmless convo with the SO once… and it was in jest although my tone was serious… About how we each need to have a list of 3 celebs whom we have free reign to bone if the other party shows interest… And yes it was in jest…
I am sure she was just joking and you were having a bad night…. Things have been misconstrued for less…
So sowwy though… Especially if you thought she was the one.
(How old were y’all?)
VSS’s use side eyes. What is the male equivalent for a side eye?
I dont know. But try visualizing the face of a person that just caught a whiff of a pile of sh*t. You ready?
She had just turned 30. (Insert sh*t face expression here).
So seriously, a celeb bone is out the question? Makes me question being in a committed relationship.
*making note to have at least one free celeb bone in the pre-nup*
Correct.
The above was to @bougiefruit. Accurate VSS description.
Funny post….
I think you’re unfairly targeting miss”think like a man…act like a man too”…. I mean not that I know anything about her or anything, but sometimes she might just be a cool ass chick and sh!t…
Her cool @ss chickness is actually her appeal. It’s her indifference to the world that makes her ‘toxic’ to her relationship environment. Too much apathy in mother’s nature is damaging to the male egosystem….according to Champster.
I’m sure you’re quite the cool @ss chick Sula.
Too much apathy in mother’s nature is damaging to the male egosystem…
That’s a brilliant sentence… Nice play on words. And it seems to be (sadly?) true as well…
And thanks for the assurance that I’m a cool ass sista… I usually like to think that I am… lol… but I can’t deny that I’ve heard a couple of
she’s a cold arse batch“you know as a woman, you need to be more sensitive/emotional” memes… which I could have sworn I was… Oh well, you win some, you lose some.It has to be noted though that the right guy eventually gets “it”…
Wow, I find it absolutely perplexing how some folks would draw such blasphemous conclusions about your personality type. Sula a cold arse batch? Noooo, not Sula.
Imagine that.
Hehehehehe. VSB always make me do that tense, silent giggle, face frozen smirk ’cause I don’t want to be too obvious at work. Awkward.
Another one is maybe Miss Christian:
Tempting because she’s pretty, wholesome, and apparently stable, all religious and scripture quoting, which can make you assume she’s a good person, and has values and stuff.
Toxic because the religious fervor is usually a crutch for some deficiency of emotional intelligence and she’ll take it straight to the LorT when you don’t measure up to Jesus.
A quick rib at the men
The debonair professional
Tempting because he looks amazing in a suit, makes executive decisions and appears to be powerful.
Toxic because he’ll be working while he should be working you.
Cosign!..i find many over religious people to be crazy! and you usually don’t find out til it’s too late. They can be the hardest to get rid of too.
Tina Watkins,
Good ones! Some may view your findings as harsh, by giving da debil way too much credit, when its simply an honest yet common observation…but its true nonetheless. I could not help but chuckle. LoL
“Toxic because he’ll be working while he should be working you” …and doing it well.
Smart Fox Girl, thanks!
Ms. Butta’sWorth thanks to you too! Harsh is the word of the day for the list, methinks… Since I can easily name at least five women and men I know of each type suggested I figgered I’d go for the gold. Glad you could share a giggle.
Ahhh, the “tortured artist”.
He’s usually extremely attractive, passionate in every way, knows all the great spots (locally and around town lol), and is filled with all of these strong ideas on politics, religion, socio-economics, etc. He will seduce you and then stay up all night and tell you all of his ideas on how he’s gonna change the World with his art.
Unfortunately, he’s also very moody and/or depressed, is prone to bouts of social retardation, often has problems in the job market (even pre-Recession), and from time to time, may feel the need to share his “passions” with people who are not you.
I’m not gonna lie. It’s easy to get caught up in this whirlwind in the early-mid 20′s…to feel like someone’s muse. You may even get a song written or a portrait painted about you. Gets old though…
This is sooooo, sooooo, soooooo VERY TRUE!
i know a lemony snicket lol
Shoot I want a tenderoni, Bobby Brown told me all about it back in the day…you gotta pick one of these right?
Well, there are a few different types of men to choose from – in the United States, anyway.
One: the redneck
Has a three word vocabulary, has no idea how to treat a woman, gets wasted daily on beer and is a total rude f*%&.
Two: The inner city, ignorant, has 19 illegitimate children, takes the bus because he can’t afford a car, can barely spell his name correctly.
Three: Decent, single man, no baggage, no attachments but makes dumb^+# excuses for not getting involved.
That tenderoni bit is my cup of tea..
Holy crap, I’m the femme fatale! Didn’t realise I was getting all that free stuff! Yay me!
Ha Ha This was great