Little Ways I Help The World Be A Better Place Every Day
If I cold teach the world to be a thug in harmony, then I would teach the world to be a thugsta just like me.
These are words I say to myself many times as I’m out here in these streets helping out adults, and kissin’ children and babies and telling them that everything’s gon’ be alright, like Treach told Vinnie the first time Vinnie tried to box with God.
My leather so soft; Vinnie’s arms so short.
Those words via Bone Thugs – N- Harmony often resonate because I believe the children are our future. But if I don’t help by, say, healing the world and making it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race then our children won’t have any place to be the future in. So every single day, I make it a point to give back; to philanthropize as the millennial generation likes to refer to itself by doing volunteer work and donating not only to Sallie Mae (face it, some folks degrees ain’t worth sh*t…your education is a straight up donation to Sallie Mae) but also to various causes, charities, and foundations. You’d never hear me call myself a philanthropist because my giving tends to be more…well…it’s probably better I just give you some examples.
1. I pull the door closed when I walk out of the work bathroom so that nobody outside hears the struggle dumps happening in said bathroom
There is NOTHING worse than going to the restroom and having to hear somebody struggle through their visit. Full grunts, labored noises…I swear sometimes it sounds like labor is happening in there. Well, I’d hate to open the door as I walk out and have the entire organization hear somebody dying in there, so I make sure to pull the door closed quickly as opposed to letting it float closed. Sure they don’t know I’m doing it…but I’m doing it and doing it and doing it well because I’m a freakin’ humanitarian. I care dammit. I care.
2. I tell women when their bras are showing if it seems unintentional
Yes, I’m looking. I like textiles. Sue me. But hey, my guess is that you didn’t intend for that bra strap to make an appearance so I’m just doing you a solid. This way you need not be concerned about anything appearance related as you gallivant through the world, thereby, making you a happier and more esteemed-positive individual ready to take on that glass ceiling of life! He’s not your Panama, he’s our Panama.
3. I say, “hey, you got a boogie” if you do, indeed, have a “boogie”
3a. I say “hey, you got food in your teeth” if you do, indeed, have food in your teeth
If you have food or boogie, I will inform you. Nothing pisses me off more than finding out after I’ve spoken to the 3rd person that I’ve got food in my teeth. Especially after EXTENSIVE convos with other people who clearly saw it and didn’t inform me. Inform me, be! Inform me! You can upgrade me! It’s cool. I swear like All-4-One. I provide this service because I am out here on my we are the world game, pimpin.
WORLD CUP! (Who you got? Money’s on Brazil right?)
4. I don’t step on bugs if I can help it…unless they’re in my house where I teach valuable lessons and make examples
I’m a person who believes in a balance between man and nature. If I’m outside in a bugs house, I leave them be. If I see a snake on the sidewalk, I walk to the other sidewalk. It’s a respect thing, ya know?
5. I leave change behind so people can discover and feel like they just won the smallest lottery ever
We have a bunch of vending machines in my building. Well, most the candy is like 95 cents. So on the occasion when my sweet tooth beckons and I get me some candies, I will pay with a dollar bill and leave the last 5 cents in the coin return slot so that the next person who gets some candies only pays 90 cents instead of 95 since they will find an extra nickel. Isn’t that nice of me?
That’s my tiny contribution to world peace and ecological betterment. What are you doing to contribute to the cause!?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3