In case you didn’t get the memo, men and women tend to think about stuff differently.
I know, shocking.
Well in today’s episode of link/email of the week, I’d like to toss something out there and see if men and women are viewing this the same way. I’m very much so interested in this. Perhaps I’m wrong and the disagreement/debate I’m having RIGHT NOW with my girlfriend is just my wayward thinking. Help me Rhonda, oh help help me Rhonda.
Sometime late last summer, I went on a couple of dates with an attractive, well-spoken, and charming entrepreneur we’ll call Drew. Drew tended to ask me out for Thursday evenings, and yet, still be a little miffed when I wanted to be home by midnight. Not to be my mother, but it’s a school night! After a full day in the office, a full evening on the town can be a lot of effort. For what would have been our third date, and as an invitation to meet his friends, Drew left me a voicemail one afternoon.
“… Thursday night, if you can bring your A-game. Peace out.”
Peace out? Were we on the same paintball team? It wasn’t even the goofy signoff that got me. I remember being most taken aback by the bit about bringing my A-game. I have never been accused of being a bad time or bringing down the group fun quotient. Was insulting me really meant to woo me? Maybe. At the very least it was thoughtless and ultimately, a deal breaker.
-How To Lose a Girl in 10 Words, Heather Hunter, iVillage.com
Perhaps I’m just a Master A**hole, but I don’t see the big deal. In fact, I’m still searching for the insult. I pulled out GoogleMaps and everything. Now perhaps the voicemail wasn’t the best way to do it. But oh well. Oops. It’s only the third date, you get the massaged voicemails intended to cater to your inner good soul on date four.
From Ms. Hunter’s vantage, him telling her to bring her A-game implies that at some point in the 2 dates prior, she didn’t bring her A-game. My girlfriend shares this same sentiment.
I on the other hand don’t think that’s the case, necessarily. I think that it is wholly possible that he’s just telling her to bring her A-game to say…period. There is no before in his mind that says “well she kind of brought her C-game on that last date, I might need to remind her that this is a big deal.” Hell if she really sucked, there wouldn’t be a third date. Or…maybe their would, but it wouldn’t be to meet his friends, if you know what I mean.
Heh heh heh.
But I digress.
Dudes do it all a time. It’s just a reminder of the levity of the situation. When we go play ball, you’re gonna tell your boys to bring their best game…EVEN IF THEY ALWAYS DO. It’s just a means to drive a point home. Nothing more nothing less and generally it isn’t always meant to make you feel like you haven’t been living up to your potential. Now the case might exist where your boy has been stinking up the court, but in that case, when you tell him, it’s more a threat, and you probably won’t continue playing with him. See? No further dates.
And especially when dating…if she was REALLY slacking, would she even be on date number three? Granted, he might not have seen her naked yet, but still, men bore easily and if she really sucked (no pun intended), I’d never talk to her again after date two.
So good people of VSB.com, am I missing something here? Was what he said really that offensive or is she just being overly sensitive? Is this a chick thing where she’s just over-reading into his statement and its possible he really means nothing? Or is he just a jacka** like so many men before him?
Inquiring minds would like to know.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST