**Admin. Note: You know what it is. Vote. Again. **
So via Wise Diva by way of Liz, I received an email that I found to be of the utmost interest-ance.
It was a link to an NPR audio essay entitled: S*x Without C*nd*ms Is The New Engagement Ring.
I think you can see where this is going. To wit:
Thursday, as part of Day to Day‘s series “What’s the New What,” Pendarvis Harshaw, a teen who grew up in Oakland offers his own provocative take on the California relationship dream. “Sex without [sleeping bags] is the new engagement ring,” he suggested in an on-air essay. Among his friends and acquaintances, ditching the [sleeping bags] for other forms of birth control like the pill, signifies taking monogamy to a new level; partners are required to trust each other completely at the risk of getting an STD. Given that few of his friends in their late teens are thinking much about marriage, this transforms a prophylactic into a relationship sign-post along the lines of an engagement ring.
If you can you really must listen to the audio essay but the gist is covered in that blurb. It’s the type of stuff that a teen would say. Definitively. Hell, I’m sure when I was a teen I said something along the lines of, “girl, we don’t need those condoms, we got love! I trust you and you trust me, so let’s trust one another and let nature be what it was supposed to be. After we’re done making possibly the dumbest decision of our lives let’s watch cartoons and talk about deep stuff like The Hills Run’s House Baldwin Hills communism.”
Interesting enough, in his essay, he alludes to the fact that these kids are highly informed of the potential dangers of STD’s and HIV, in particular, which is why the decision to go wrap-less is such an indicator of trust and commitment. Talk about an enigmatic ironic paradox. One individual even went so far as to say that, “having relations with no condom is like saying, ‘i love you’ without actually saying it.”
Forgive me father for I know not what I do (that’s not actually true), but I must quote Lil’ Wayne here:
“Safe sex is great sex
Better wear a latex
Cuz you dont want that late text
that “I think I’m late” text”
-”Lollipop (Remix)”
But somehow, in teenage logic, it makes sense that going raw, better yet, premeditatedly going raw is the same as offering up the supreme level of commitment. Teenage thought patters can definitely be shortsighted. Especially considering how none of these youngin’s have any desires for matrimony or the things that happen when you go raw children.
Of course, the comments on said post have been off the chizzain – you should check them out. Quite a few people think this is the most ignant thing they’ve ever heard in life. Can’t say i disagree though when taking it context the reasoning becomes quite clear and simple:
Lack of good parenting.
But perhaps I’m being shortsighted and his rationale makes sense to some people out there. Some people think it’s not ignant at all and, dare I say, makes sense. Consequently, I’d never leave these people with my children.
Good people of the VSB Bloggerhood, what say thee? Is this just another misguided youth from the streets that bore Stanley Burrell? Or is it possible that this young man is on to something and perhaps wise beyond his years?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
oh, to be young, gifted, and invincible…
not only have i heard this, but i know lots of REALLY SMART PEOPLE (who went to schools whose colors have names like “cardinal” and “crimson”) who agree with it in both attitude and practice.
maybe the theory is that small communities who only camp with group members are impervious to stds like HIV, herpes, and KIDS…
I know a guy who is from one of those schools, an alleged smart person, who believes his wang is impervious to such afflictions (the stories he tells…my word). He believes only the lesser will succumb to STIs/HIV-AIDS. People like him are dangerous.
Did you just call kids an STD?!
“Kids: The STD that lasts at least 18 years”
Better a kid than herpes, the gift that keeps on giving, or HIV which, unlike love, lasts forever.
Getting pregnant is the least of these kids concerns. I mean really…if a child is produced, it’ll probably be THEIR parent’s responsibility.
“Kids: The STD that lasts at least 18 years”
Sounds like another great T Shirt Idea!
Cosigning on that one big time. Man I may even have to have it printed on my own…lol.
yeah, that is a pretty good t-shirt. you guys are so witty!
I want my cut!!!
I’d rock it.
classic! i can just see it on billboards and all over college campuses…
it just speaks to me!
You know what. Going “medium rare” isn’t just looked at as a sign of commitment amongst teens. I just heard someone say they won’t take birth control until they get a steady boyfriend, at which point no more condoms. I won’t lie. My first thought was that the dude will be lucky to receive rare beat rights. Forget STD’s. Those aren’t even in question.lol. In a remix of the Rich Boy song…heads really just need to “throw a C on that d*ck”, unless she has presented paperwork from a recent STD test showing that she is clean, and he has seen her taking the pill…
Even recent STD tests can be misleading. The KING of all VeeDees (HIV) can be undetectable for up to 3 months after infection.
No sah!!! Keep that ish WRAPPED up.
“Keep that ish WRAPPED up”
It’s definitely better to be safe than sorry. HIV can go undetected for months. It’s not worth taking that chance.
Easier said than done.
I think most people know what potential tragedy could strike if they bumped uglies sans condoms. But so many people ignore those risks.
When the blood starts flowing to their man (lady) parts, a lot of adults make the decision…and it is a decision…to take their lives into their own hands.
If you catch something you cannot blame anyone but yourself (unless you are married…because you stood before God and took vows, you have a right to be pissed).
As an adult, this is a decision that you are allowed to make. Hopefully, folks are equipped to deal with the fallout if things do not work out their favor.
Kids are simply not ready for such decisions.
They need a new form of the “wrap it up” box… shouts out to Dave Chappelle.
Going “medium rare”
I have to use this term, I love it.
“Going “medium rare”
“I have to use this term, I love it.”
LOL! Me too!
“I just heard someone say they won’t take birth control until they get a steady boyfriend, at which point no more condoms.”
there’s so much wrong with that logic i don’t even know where to start.
But isn’t that what a great number of people do? Decide they are “it” for each other (at least for that period in time) and let the condom box get dusty?
No, not logical. But is sex logical?
Ugh. Stuff like this makes me hate being a teenager… Ask one kid somethin and we all gotta look slow and disrespectful with our new-fangled thingamajigs and whatnot…
*cough*
But, well, one quick thing… It’s not just teenagers. You hear stuff like this in songs a lot, too… Like the hook of Mi Amor (Jay-Z)…
“How you say I love you in thug?
Can I hit it raw”
Sooo just to clear one thing up… It’s not just ignant teenagers. It’s ignant folks in general.
Hey HEY people. IGNORANT and IGNANT are 2 diff things. Thou shan’t ruin the GOOD IGNANT name. — Commandment 15
Just cause the soundbyte/interview was with a teenager is irrelevant. Adults do the Same.D*mn.Thing.
PURP! you are on that good ish!! you made me smile with this ish right here!! not only quoting Jay-Z but calling out the “grown ups”…I know a super-grown female that let’s dudes hit it nekit like skin is the new cond0m…stuff like this plays into your maturity (read:sanity) level…there are old muhfuggus walking ’round thinking STS can’t happen to them, all while spreading the “love” and playing outbreak monkey…to them I say…KILL Yo’SELF!!
That’s so true, I think we know the same female! ha! And the person I know refuses to take birth control because she “doesn’t believe in them”. Snitch are you crazy! Well do you believe in pregnancy, HIV/AIDS, herpes, syphillis? I mean let’s be real people. It’s no joke out there and folks running around thinking they’re coochie/thang-thang is encrypted with a special “no kids, disease” zone or something.
you know, you’re right, it’s not just teenagers.
however, honestly, the runnin’ raw ain’t exactly what threw me off, it’s the underlying notion that unprotected relations equates to some form of commitment.
like yeah, we know that unprotected sex is dumb. woosah. but how in South Hades does anybody REALLY come to this conclusion:
relations – latex = commitment and love
that’s the kind of math that makes my head hurt.
You’re right, the math doesn’t add up. Any dude/chick can smash potatoes with you, no extra layer. Doesn’t mean squat. Good sense should tell you that. Too bad too many of us lack good sense.
That said, as an adult I have been in ‘real’ relationships – as have many of us – where we made the decision to trust each other and take a vertical joyride without protection. But, with that trust, came the understanding that if one of us caught something, the other was gonna get stabbed.
We have to make our own decisions, but we need to be realistic about what is going on.
That said, as an adult I have been in ‘real’ relationships – as have many of us – where we made the decision to trust each other and take a vertical joyride without protection. But, with that trust, came the understanding that if one of us caught something, the other was gonna get stabbed
I laughed…loud…and I needed that…so THANK YOU!!
LMAO. I think ANY jury would understand that they had to be stabbed. That’s
“That said, as an adult I have been in ‘real’ relationships – as have many of us – where we made the decision to trust each other and take a vertical joyride without protection. But, with that trust, came the understanding that if one of us caught something, the other was gonna get stabbed.
We have to make our own decisions, but we need to be realistic about what is going on.”
***Proverbs 16:3***
Champ:
Proverbs 16:3.
Nuff said.
Proverbs 16:3.
I actually looked this one up today.
Good word, Champ.
Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed
…….. can you really be committing to the lord if your having unprotected pre marital s.e.x?
i think there are a few equations that work here:
1. relations – latex = love
equation #1 is true if and only if individuals are already in a committed relationship and said individuals have been tested
2. alcohol+ beer goggles – common sense = relations – latex
3. relations – latex – female contraceptives = babies
4. relations – latex + uncommitted partners = [enter STI/STD]
A Plus…what a fitting moniker!
All of your calculations add up.
That underlying logic runs rampant among the young, black and upwardly mobile set. It seems to me the more education/money the more likely it is that they will enter into a relationship latex free. He.ll I think that is why AIDS is rising amoung black females because all of these women are dating the same dude with the good job, bmw,and italian shoes he is telling all of them he loves them, going raw and passing all types of disease.
“They should of never gave y’all ni**as money!”
-Dave Chapelle as Rick James
Yep yep…you are right Purplenat because everyone is responsible. It’s just that when “grown people” say this sometimes it’s overlooked like that’s the correct way of being and no one questions them about what they say or/and do. I’m grown but to me SAFE is SAFE and that’s period
I was one of these teens in love. I recall being 18 sitting in my university’s heath center holding hands with my boyfriend of the time waiting for our STD results. I recall the dozens or so conversations we had about when the birth control pills would start working and when we could leave the free clinic lifestyles alone. At the time, it all seem very responsible and important. We were in love and making a grown up decision. The pregnancy scares and constant arguments about fidelity were just part of my young adult angst.
Now, don’t go judging my mother for poor parenting skills because I was a model citizen, attending prestigious university on an academic scholarship. They thought they had raised me well, but there are some things parents can’t control and their children’s sexual habits is one of those things.
I accept that I was stupid and these are not actions I would repeat or recommend but I am still young enough to remember to how my first love felt and how those emotions make you do some very uncharacteristic things. I wouldn’t judge these children or their parents too harshly because stupid and sometimes life threating mistakes is just part of growing up.
true…at the time it made “sense” and you apparently emerged unscathed…but er’body ain’t that lucky love…salud
“Now, don’t go judging my mother for poor parenting skills because I was a model citizen, attending prestigious university on an academic scholarship. They thought they had raised me well, but there are some things parents can’t control and their children’s sexual habits is one of those things.”
you know, the line about lack of parenting was made partly in jest. partly.
i’m not immune, my parents raised me right and i was sneaking in and out of THEIR house on damn near every night of the week to sneak INTO my then girlfriend’s window (my window screen removal game is vicious – i got down to remove, enter, and replace in under 10 seconds).
still the problem came in cuz my parents knew what i was doing (they told me) and let it ride…at 16.
by the way: Lifestyles – Say YES to pregnancy!
by the way: Lifestyles – Say YES to pregnancy
My college roomates used to say that.
“Lifestyles will f**k up ya lifestyle!” Lol! Good times, good times.
I would like to add that Lifestyles are evil and can not be trusted. I took a poll and we all voted. They suck. The people have spoken!
“by the way: Lifestyles – Say YES to pregnancy!”
Yeah…I’ve had many a slippage/scare issue with them thangs…the no name ones from Planned Parenthood are better than these jokers…lol
“by the way: Lifestyles – Say YES to pregnancy!”
i’ve never been a fan of durex either.
the fact that you can get 20 for 3.99 is a dead giveaway
“I wouldn’t judge these children or their parents too harshly because stupid and sometimes life threating mistakes is just part of growing up.”
I don’t think anyone is judging anyone per say. We’ve all made stupid mistakes. I just wished though that kids and adults would stop risking their lives for a few minutes of pleasure.
People in glass houses…
Teens are not the only ones making this decision. Grown folk and old azz folks (senior HIV infection rates are rising!) decide to just say “no” to condoms, too.
The difference is that a teenager is not equipped to deal with the fallout from such a decision.
“The difference is that a teenager is not equipped to deal with the fallout from such a decision.”
Shoot, some adults can’t deal w/ the consequences either.
“Shoot, some adults can’t deal w/ the consequences either.”
I agree.
I really don’t see an adult dealing with this in a ‘good’ way either.
Sex is a BEAUTIFUL thing as 98% of VSB’ers can contest to. However, with sex, comes responsibility and that’s pertaining to the John Edward’s, Kwame Kilpatrick’s,Bill Clinton’s, and Spitzer’s of the world.
Not to mention the gay/bi/whatever folks.
Very true. But kids, the subject of the original post, definitely aren’t.
Hmmm….I know a girl named Luvvie, she reads this blog, too. Does a mean robot.
LMAO HUSH UR FACE!! Y must u let my roboting skills out the bag??
LMAO this Luvvie also has a lethal side eye and a penchant for rice and flashy shoes…
I HATE you both.
“I HATE you both.”
**taking notes on who to contact if i ever need to blackmail luvvie**
It’s 2008-responsible folks wrap it,dam it, or pill it up-teenage or otherwise-to me is not what you say it’s what you do-if you care for yourself and your monster mash playmate-you don’t take away there choices..no condom can lead to no choices-diseases-kids-and in the words of Martin Lawerence crazy and derainged behavior..young girls and some women are emotional influenced by bare back loving..(myself included)..but I respect a grown man with a sweet azz back and a Magnum any day vs.a wanna be bootleg R.Kelly with vasoline..go to the CVS- they open late
I respect a grown man with a sweet azz back and a Magnum any day vs.a wanna be bootleg R.Kelly with vasoline..go to the CVS- they open late
Okay…this ish was funny.
Spend 30 minutes (or one sleepless night) with a someone else’s newborn and you’ll be cured of “baby, we don’t need no condoms” real quick.
You got that right…babies are instant birth control.
hell, 5 year olds are instant birth control. and 4 of them at the same time??
Born.Again.Virginizer.
Trust me I know…I have at least 15 2nd cousins under the age of 10.
Family get-togethers are hell man.
You tell no lie…sleepless nights induced by a colicky newborn will have one swear off sex for life. I was married and degreed when I had mine and still wanted to go play in traffic at times. Loss of sleep is SUHRIUS.
@ Anechoic, I would add Colicky baby!
ughhh…. newborns didn’t scare me.. Ok..they did a little. I wrap it because I didn’t wanna do as Eddie Murphy said in Raw, ‘piss and burn down the house’. I mean damn.. there is shyt out there that ya can’t wash off. And maybe that makes the saying – “Ignorance is Bliss” mean more in this situation.
@V.E.G. And I agree.. there are grown folks out there that don’t wrap it up! HIV is real and it kills!
“Ok..they did a little. I wrap it because I didn’t wanna do as Eddie Murphy said in Raw, ‘piss and burn down the house’.”
sidenote: where does “raw” rank with all-time stand-up movies/specials?
Hmm… number 3 on my list. After “Kings of Comedy” and Martin Lawrence’s “You So Crazy”
Definitely in my top 5. Stand-up specials are rapidly becoming a lost art….well, the good ones anyway.
I really didnt think it was that funny, although I know plenty of people who loved it.
tough one maybe top six behind dylan dylan dylan dylan and dylan because he spits hot fiya.
No 4 real its up there w/ the dave chapelle series n some robin harris n some richard pryor shucks Let me get back to this I lost my train of thaught.
I’m with you on that Robin Harris… I wish that they had his Bebe’s kids stand-up on dvd (shoot, I’ll even take vhs)
search one night stand HBO originals
I’ve been looking had I haven’t found anything (I even searched Amazon). Thanks though.
just go you tube it
1. Chris Rock Bring The Pain
2. Kings of Comedy
3. Richard Pryor (one w/the red outfit) Name escapes me…lol
4. Bill Cosby Himself
5. Raw
It’s going to rain today just because I never thought I would agree with Lil Wayne–wrap it up–latex, saran wrap…whatever you must do it doesn’t make sense for folks not to use protection these days. They say knowledge is power but common sense got lost somewhere. People are more educated about STDs, etc but they act like “it won’t happen to me” so they choose to go bareback and expose themselves and their partners.
Shelia those lyrics right there was when I actually fell in love with lil wayne. We are closer than close now because of that remix.
He still one ugly son of a trullup !
Mikki, yep, he’s still hard on the eyes but I sure wished I would have dubbed his CD before I gave it to my brother for a birthday present so I could listen to it now…lol
“he’s still hard on the eyes”
Understatement.
::snicker::
yes ma’am…I thought it was clever too…but we have already agreed that Lil Wayne looks like some sort of fetus/pirahna hybrid science experiment from the Carribbean gone wrong…lol
“Lil Wayne looks like some sort of fetus/pirahna hybrid science experiment from the Carribbean gone wrong”
Goodness that sounds like a Sci-Fi channel movie lol–hmm, maybe he can get a second job if the rapping stops working for him.
Lil Wayne would make for a GREAT villain in some thriller. No makeup needed.
I’m speechless (not really, I actually have a lot to say)…for one like the contributors before me have already stated this is not a point of view that is limited to the minds of today’s teenage youth. A number of grown azz people in their 20′s and 30′s have unprotected sex with serious and casual sex partners for varying reasons to support their defense. Folks who believe they are in monogamous relationships often use the excuse that ‘since it’s just you and me, we trust one another enough to take the risk’ (& often limit that definition of ‘risk’ to pregnancy); while others who go raw with a more casual sex partner may convince themselves that ‘i’m just gonna go raw with her because she is a virgin or she/he doesn’t really get around that much’. Whatever the justification is, going raw is nothing new under the sun and poor decision making is not exclusive to teenagers.
It makes me wonder though…when is it safe to go raw? After you’ve been dating exclusively for a year? After you’ve gone to the clinic together and exchanged test results? Or after you’re engaged? Seriously. Outside of marriage, when is it okay to throw caution to the wind and retire the trojans? I have one friend who prior to getting married never practiced safe sex. His method was to practice abstinence with his gfs for the first 3 months, then get tested TOGETHER, and then go unprotected for the length of the relationship. hmm….but really aside from him, who goes to such lengths to make sure that their partner is clean? better yet, who has that kind of discipline?
I agree with you Miss Patterson. I’m speechless myself. People really need to protect themselves.
“A number of grown azz people in their 20’s and 30’s have unprotected sex with serious and casual sex partners for varying reasons to support their defense.”
I agree with you. I have been one of them, just blessed to have never caught anything in all of my almost 28 years and to have never gotten preggars. There were many reasons for my slight in judgment, mostly because I was in what I thought was “love.” What has finally stopped me is CHURCH. I’m scared to death! I know I wasn’t doing right and I felt that my “luck” aka “blessings” may run out soon.
I am now celibate, waiting for my husbad to even start up again. It’s very hard to quit cold turkey, but I know I’m doing the right thing. There are so many diseases out now and you really can’t trust people (I hope I don’t sound bitter, just EXTREMELY cautious).
Good questions. Lately I’ve had conversations with married folks who are even concerned about going RAW because of suspecting their spouses of cheating.
I’m like man…you should at least be able to forgo the condom with your husband (unless of course he had an STD before you guys got together).
I did. I didn’t give up the goodies until I saw some test results. No lie. I was willing to get tested and expected the same. No test, no glove, no love.
I will pass on the gift that keeps on giving.
I dont beleive you friend went through those lengths every single time either….I am sorry but please!!! the things ninja’s will say to justify idiotic behavior
“I have one friend who prior to getting married never practiced safe sex. His method was to practice abstinence with his gfs for the first 3 months, then get tested TOGETHER, and then go unprotected for the length of the relationship.”
Damn that sounds like a lot of work.
Wow…that’s wild.
“I have one friend who prior to getting married never practiced safe sex. His method was to practice abstinence with his gfs for the first 3 months, then get tested TOGETHER, and then go unprotected for the length of the relationship.”
in theory, this is a great plan.
“in theory, this is a great plan.”
Theories are called such b/c they are yet unproven to work. Homeboy’s plan is more flawed than Dubya’s logic in Iraq.
ooooh-oooh! *raising hand eagerly like Horshack* what about going raw for oral s*x? Isn’t this technically JUST AS RISKY? I mean really, how many of y’all are down there with the scissors makin’ dental dams and applying flavored condoms….yeah, i didn’t think so. (Look up herpetic eye disease, and you might think twice about c*m on your face). I’m not saying any of this is right or wrong, what i’m saying is that there are a lot more risks out there than we would actually like to consider, and it’s not just limited to sex. Sheeeeet, the guy you’re kissing right now might be in a dormant phase of oral herpes…and the woman you’re dry humping during foreplay might have the human papillomavirus virus (hpv) and may be completely asymptomatic (one reason annual pap smears are sooooo important). There’s 40 strains of it and that new vaccine only covers about 3 of them. There’s also the Hepatitis B Vaccine, which my doc injected me with after telling me that most high school AND college students can’t even enroll nowadays without showing they’ve been vaccinated for this particular STD! WTF??!!! that’s what i really want to say is WTF?? Oh, did I mention I’m joining a convent after I hit ‘submit’? i’m done now…
what about going raw for oral s*x? Isn’t this technically JUST AS RISKY?
Yep and Yep.
what about going raw for oral s*x? Isn’t this technically JUST AS RISKY?
(sigh) PatteCakes…face is just as (if not moreso) as risky as raw dawging…because in the time between episodes (you know when you’re upright and clothed) you use your mouth more than your lips…plus there are alot of females that don’t give a second thought to trying to “lick the (w)rapper” and they don’t get checked out until they have have “outbreaks” or something…even dumb b*tches have good brains…this entire thiing is asnowball effect on a slippery slope to healthcare hell…ANY and ALL exchanges of fluid have the potential to change your life…even kissing…makes me want to wear latex drawls and live in a bubble!
Reminds me of that scene in the naked gun w/ the full body condoms lol.
hahahha…I haven’t that ish in years!!!
Don’t 4 get the diseases you can catch from not even having ceks. Some diseases can live outside of bodily fluids for hours on end i.e. herpes. You can get hep b just like a cold. Don’t get me started on clymidea that shyt is everywhere and has little and often times no syptoms. But it can make you sterile. Bottom line you could have died getting out of bed this morning. But that don’t give you the right to throw caution to the wind. PROTECT YA NECK (n labias n heads sacks backs nips n tips bottom line bottle o wine bla bla bla bla)
I am officially depressed.
I’m officially joining a convent.
skin to skin contact is too real.
“PROTECT YA NECK (n labias n heads sacks backs nips n tips bottom line bottle o wine bla bla bla bla)”
I have tears in my eyes right now! Seriously…
“Oh, did I mention I’m joining a convent after I hit ’submit’? i’m done now…”
hell after reading this, i’m thinking about joining the monastery across the street…IN SIBERIA.
I looked up that eye disease and my life hasn’t been right ever since. How does THAT convo in the doc’s office go? Jeez….
yick.
Miss Patterson you broke it down and living a celibate life until marriage seems like fun when you think about all of those consequences.
you had me at herpetic eye disease
*whispering*
Tell them to look at the other oral and ophthalmic STD’s …
I really cue violins for my generation (20-somethings). We are the first to grow up being told that what humans have done for survival since the beginning can now be a death sentence. Before the ’80s, there were STDs, but the most they could do was render people infertile if untreated.
Now, we’re seeing a whole continent of people (Africa) being wiped out b/c they are having sex. Damn. The ish is depressing sometimes.
It’s definitely a NATURAL OXYMORON. Sex is what creates human life. But now, it’s potentially life ending.
It’s definitely a NATURAL OXYMORON. Sex is what creates human life. But now, it’s potentially life ending.
Damn LUVVIE…that is some ole “scuba steve” type sh*t…deep and profound and sh*t…
“It’s definitely a NATURAL OXYMORON. Sex is what creates human life. But now, it’s potentially life ending.
Damn LUVVIE…that is some ole “scuba steve” type sh*t…deep and profound and sh*t…”
***vincentian academy***
This is a really good point. After reading the post, I ws thinking about the fact that wearing a condom is a relatively new idea. Its ambitious for those “wrap it up” ads and Sex Ed classes to think they can change human nature with a few facts and celebrity cameos. I can understand that it is necessary, but its damn ambitious…
“One individual even went so far as to say that, “having relations with no condom is like saying, ‘i love you’ without actually saying it.”
GTFOH youngin. I weep for the future.
I stay talking to my lil 13 year nephew and 17 year old cousin about not falling into the trap. I tell ‘em if you feel like you’re going down that road, do it responsibly. At least for the 17 year old, now my young azz nephew, I told him keep that ish in your pants little boy you got a few years to go.
*I caught that Stanley Burrell….lmao!!!
i figured you’d catch that you hip-hop head you.
you know…i remember when i was in high school…i actually was messing with a chick who wanted me to go au naturale. her logic?
you can’t actually get pregnant unless you both climax at the same time.
needless to say. i stayed far from her after that. and no i didn’t go raw. in fact, i stopped dealing with her after that.
“you can’t actually get pregnant unless you both climax at the same time.”
Oh wow. This is some HS-logic fo’ yo’ arse. That’s along the lines of you can’t get preggo on your 1st time, or if you do it while you’re on your cycle.
You made the right decision.
“*I caught that Stanley Burrell….lmao!!!”
I chuckled a bit at this reference…calling him out by the gub’ment name…
That’s crap, because I know men/women who try to go raw when it is just some jump-off, one night stand -ish, which is not the bizness and no business will be had….
That is just even WORSE. I am in AWE whenever I hear that people are still so reckless with their lives. They might as well go play in traffic on the Dan Ryan Expressway in rush hour. That way, they save themselves 10 years of pain and get it over with.
i was just gonna start by saying that grown folk are doing that dumb sheet, its not just the teenyboppers…
and its not even about commitment, relationship, etc, its about not having any common sense…
as someone who has on several occasions come in contact with men who want to run up in it raw (the first time, without even askin if i’m on BC, which I AM NOT), i have little faith in people and what they deem safe, so i request that he wear a condom every single time, watch when he puts it on, and make periodic checks as to it still being on (cause i have been caught out there with duke pullin it off mid-coitus.).
i never really use protection during oral six, though, which i guess is bass-ackwards, but i guess it has to do with the whole enjoyment principle; like i might as well make some aspect feel *really* good or else its not worth doing *shrug*
also considering the stigma attached to most diseases, how likely is it that someone in a casual encounter is going to be honest about their cooties, at the risk of ending the escapade? its always russian roulette.
shay say:
“…how likely is it that someone in a casual encounter is going to be honest about their cooties, at the risk of ending the escapade? its always russian roulette.”
my homey used to tell me this about sex and marriage:
you throwin ur d*ck on the table. (like dice)
what i got from it was that the odds of success are worse than a triple 7 slot machine in vegas.
Man, you’ve really been poisoned about the ideas of marriage. That sucks.
I think he has only lived long enoug to see a lot of the dark side. The real brass tacks of it all. & on some points ya man is tight. Jaded but tight.
its always russian roulette.
that’s basically the main bullet point of any powerpoint presentation regarding s*xual relations.
I love PowerPoint. When I have kids, they will get a conference room lecture with diagrams of what can happen to you if you have reckless secks. They will be scarred into celibacy.
You’ll be the same one making them watch Roots and mini-series about crackheads on the streets of Baltimore! Lol! Long story short, too much of this makes kids afraid to leave the house…ever.
See how much fun they are when they’re 45 and still living at home. True Story.
Don’t you speak ill of “The Corner”!! That’s a CLASSIC “The More You Know” PSA. lol
LMAO, now we have discussed how watching The Corner shaped my life and forever kept me away from the “crack rock”, but did we mention that it als o has provided me with the one thought that keeps me up at night? Namely, how are new crackheads made? A couple of generations have gone by, visibly demonstrating the decimating effects of all things crack, but there are still people who are like “Oooo crack, you say?! Sign me up!” I don’t understand.
Had to get that off my chest. Thanks, VSB.
See?? Years later, “The Corner” still elicits deep thoughts. New crackheads are made when ONE generation of the crack rock has been skipped. So the supposed bad example of the damage that crack can do has been clean before the newbie sees what it can do. So they venture out and try it and KABLAMO! A new crackhead has been born. Nest thing you know, stupid shit come up missing in your house. Like socks, TV antenna, and the computer mouse.
Mmhmmm. Word. It’s science.
lmao im sorry, “the computer mouse” got me ctfu
“Namely, how are new crackheads made?”
man, this is the question of the year.
you know, one of my former students is a crackhead, and i should probably go run the back alleys of the burgh and burger king to find and interview him just to find out
I don’t want any future potential kids to be scared of anything but God and, yes, me. Lol.
Not sex. They should be cautious. Use good sense. Know that a misstep could lead to their death.
But they should also know that if it feels right and if they are not living under my roof (lol), they should do them. I can only pray that doing them includes being safe.
Without reading the previous comments (or those forth to come), THIS is not just a teenage phenomenon. Grown A$$ motha fathas partake in the same ideology. Grown Folks don’t always strap up and take proper precautions and use the whole “trust” issue as a “This Is Serious”-type-of-thing also.
I often think that “our” generation blame and diss the up-and-coming generation when in fact, our previous generation do the same thing to us. We’ll blame those that came before us as a result of how things are. Keep in mind, our elder generation is blaming us for not continuing the process they started.
It’s a vicious cycle.
It can be likened to the state of Hip Hop right now…but this site is about relationships so I won’t go there.
MONK…you are like a real MONK and sh*T…dropping jewels of the ages…and I heartily co-sign…it’s always been this way…we are just getting more and more caught up in the hype…they blamed us…so we blame the ones after us…and so on…shullbit…
“I often think that “our” generation blame and diss the up-and-coming generation when in fact, our previous generation do the same thing to us. We’ll blame those that came before us as a result of how things are. Keep in mind, our elder generation is blaming us for not continuing the process they started.”
***church*** (i’m not even gonna use a euphemism for this one)
The simple “church” is short and to the point…you know how I do. lol..
Way to real Monk. Reminds me of Moms cutting to the chase b4 dishing out the beat downs “Blaming someone ain’t solving a dog on thing.”
I used to dream of a scenario where if the newest generation would only ceksually relate w/ their peers. The old and infected could cold polio style extinct these vd’s and vi’s. But these pathogens are survival minded (if you don’t mind my personification). They have learned to live w/o their hosts for hours (even longer w/i bodily fluids and or refrigerated but some of them don’t even need bodily fluid). They lie dormant and show no overt symptoms. The hide in folded lips and under mushroom caps or wrinkled saks. Heck some of the bacteria have become resistant to anti-biotic treatment i.e. mrsa. So even if a mass quarantine could be set up. It would still have a large and uphill battle to win.
Sorry I haven’t commented lately, but I do read the articles every morning.
Anywho, this young man sounds very inexperienced and very naive about life. Poor thing….I will pray for him.
With this theory, here’s a scenario (and please forgive me if anyone already mentioned this, I didn’t go through each posting):
A guy and a girl are following this new theory. One of them decides to dip out on their mate, also using this new theory with their side chick/stick (no condom to express their faithfulness). One of the original mates catches something. Now, they haven’t told their mate because it disturbs the “new level of monogamy.” Trust will be lost and the relationship could possibly end. So, the mates have an intimate evening, one knowing that they have a STD, but can’t wear a condom because it’ll look suspect…like, we’ve been having sex, unprotected sex, all this time, if I put on/pull out a condom, she’ll/he’ll know something is up. Against their better judgment, they go at it raw. Now, both mates are infected…what now? Would the other mate get tested? Would the mate who had the STD first even mention it?
I watched a sniplet of Baldwin Hills the other night. It was the scene where Vanessa Bell Calloway’s daughter was at lunch with her “aunties” and Lela Rochan (I think that’s her name) told this story about a female friend of hers. The friend was with this man for 12 years. The man tested positive for AIDS and is now dying. The woman tested negative…wanna know why? She practiced safe sex with him…for 12 years! How deep is that? It’s a jungle out here!
“The friend was with this man for 12 years. The man tested positive for AIDS and is now dying. The woman tested negative…wanna know why? She practiced safe sex with him…for 12 years! How deep is that? It’s a jungle out here!”
that woman needs to be in somebody’s church EVERY SUNDAY thanking her lucky stars, quasars, protons, electrons, leprechauns, and horseshoes.
She needs to join MANY religions, going to the church, mosque, synagogue, scientology prison, buddhist temple… on a daily basis.
Word.
Abstaining is such a relief.
amen!
Right now I can relate, and it is nice.
“Abstaining is such a relief.”
lol…i know this is a serious statement…but it’s kind of an oxymoron too…
It REALLY is. lol But there does come a peace of mind w/ abstaining
Y’all are trippin.
5 months of abstinence made me a witch on wheels.
There was no relief in sight.
Well I’m on month 8 and I’m gonna need an upgrade soon. If you catch my drift…lol
Girl, yeah. I can send you a link to an online catalog.
They sell, um, great shoes.
Oh yeah girl, I know about them shoes.
on three months !!! hard but I’m making it……..
I’m on month 36 it aint been easy but it’s been stress free.
To steal this from another VSB’er.
Salute.
“lol…i know this is a serious statement…but it’s kind of an oxymoron too…”
lol…it is
abstinence is a beautiful thing, truly…
Abstinence IS a beautiful thing. I agree.
A lotta folks ain’t doing that though so we must deal in reality.
“Safe sex is great sex
Better wear a latex
Cuz you dont want that late text
that “I think I’m late” text”
-”Lollipop (Remix)”
I’ve always wondered what the heck Mr. Carter was saying on that part of the song . . . I guess you learn something everyday . . .even at VSB.com
Ahhh yes, Lil’ Wayne, the syrup sipping poet laureate of Negronia….
^^^This just made me laugh.
But really…more and more people are quoting this goon and it’s disturbing me. lol
When you’re tight you’re right though. Glad he’s saying something the youth (and appearently us adults too) can use.
“Ahhh yes, Lil’ Wayne, the syrup sipping poet laureate of Negronia….:
LMAO!! I must challenge myself to use this phrase at least once a week. I will force conversations bout Lil Wayne JUST so I can say this. Thanks.
we’re here to educate and serve. we decipher ignant ninjas literature so that you don’t have too.
VSB: Taking one for Black people, one rapper at a time.
see, even trolls drop science too…
yeah, that’s the hottest part of the song…i love kanye’s verse too….”like doritos is not-cho cheese and like fritos i’m trying to lay…..” gota love the word play…..
*toast to Weezy*
F*ck the haters!!
I’m not neccessarily a fan but I love the sayin’ “what’eva a f*ck” lyrics. Word to Big Daddy Kane and L.L. Cool J.
“having relations with no condom is like saying, ‘i love you’ without actually saying it.”
screw that…I need to hear ” I Love You”, “Let’s Go Get Tested”, “Baby, Can You Bring Home Some of Those Flavored Condoms You Have In Your Office @ Work”–(I’m a health educator, dont judge me). I am really not trying to be a statistic. We all have seen first hand what unprotected sex can do…I know we are all guilty of slipping up a time or two but really that’s all it takes.
We dont judge here. We just ROAST & TREAT.
LMAO! They don’t know about getting roasted or treated! That’s some 100% Chi-town stuff, girl. Now a lot of folks are in the DC urrrrea, so you could say “fried” or “carried” (pronounced “curried”). “Sonned” works out east as well. I think the universal word would be “played”.
Aaaahhh I c. Well since folks know DC slang, they need to learn Chitown idiosyncrasies. lol
Oh, so that’s only my Chi?! Really? The more you knooowwwww….
I live in Chi and don’t know the term ‘treated’. Heard my 11 year old nephew use it and demanded he explained what it meant.
Umm… refer to comment below bout crows feet and thinning hair. LMAO!
You won’t be LYAO when you are picking it up off the cracked Chitown pavement.
Don’t. Get. Your. Back. Dirty.
Bring IT! Dont. Get. Your. Eye. Blackened. Light-skinned people don’t scare me! :-p
And gel and weave.
I have one friend who prior to getting married never practiced safe sex. His method was to practice abstinence with his gfs for the first 3 months . . .”
Damn!!! 3 months. He sounds like Joan off of Girlfriends. I must admit that’s a good method . . . but the going raw part is not a good look
“premeditatedly going raw is the same as offering up the supreme level of commitment.”
considering todays potential consequences, the aforementioned statement is TRUE.
well deciding that you will go raw SHOULD BE one of the supreme levels of commitment.
and i’m not sure teens are physically, mentally and spiritually prepared to make that kind of commitment. Hells Bells i’m not sure many adults are prepared mentally…… to make that kind of decision.
it’s dangerous out here and our biggest problems are ourselves not someone/s else.
i pray for GOD to protect me from myself.
“and i’m not sure teens are physically, mentally and spiritually prepared to make that kind of commitment. ”
commitment my a**. you can’t catch what a person doesn’t have. no commitments necessary.
Tiff emphatically says:
“you can’t catch what a person doesn’t have.”
True that accounts for today this minute if you took a test maybe
tomorrow, next hour you cant be sure
…doesn’t have. (yet potentially)
my thing is humans aren’t good at being sexually commited and you can barely speak for yourself much less someone elses thang. marriage, love etc aint got a dam thang to do with it. people break commitments of all kind to themselves and others so you know what they will do for yo narrow or wide behind. aint got nothing to do with their good intentions, premeditation or commitment. as i said adults and kids included. (humans, how bout that)
i’m not saying have unprotected sex willy-nilly. i’m saying that if you can’t trust your partner, why are you getting naked with him/her *at all?*
you know if the person you’re bonking is shady or not. if you got your suspicions, use latex (or polyurethane if you’re allergic).
but if you trust that your partner is not creeping, and you’re both STD-free — or willing to accept the risks if one is infected — what’s the problem?
they don’t have to be shady to have a disease…they may have caught something in the previous committed relationship they were in…the other partner could have been dipping out and came home with something they didn’t leave with…you never know…contracting an STS is not always a character flaw as it is a judgement flaw…teh shady-est ninjas wear rubbers…fo’true!
they *ARE* shady if they catch one that they didn’t have before.
again: if you are both STD-free *and you trust your partner to be sexually faithful,* what is the issue?
and if you *don’t* trust your partner to be sexually faithful, then you might want to question your relationship and stock up on some trojans.
tiff…that’s not what I am saying…let me say it differently…
THIS IS NOT A FICTIONAL EXAMPLE! (names have been changed to protect the innocent and the not-so-innocent)
My girl Lex was with Carlos for a year…they were exclusive so they lost the gloves and Lex contracted HIV. Carlos had no clue he was infected but before he fell in love w/ Lex he was with Robin, he and Robin broke up because Robin got caught cheating! Robin and Carlos had been together for 3 years so they were f*cking commando…and he caught it from Robin and gave it to Lex…the trife hoe was Robin…Lex and Carlos didn’t do anything but trust who they were with…so it wasn’t poor character that landed them in the epidemic, it was poor education on risk, lack of effective testing, adn less than stellar judgment…
goodeness: we agree. i just think you’re missing my point.
i’m not saying that to unknowingly infect someone is being shady. or that if you have an STD you are by definition shady.
i’m saying that if someone tests negative and you think he/she might be too shady to stay negative, why would you have a sexual relationship with him/her?
“STS is not always a character flaw as it is a judgement flaw…the shady-est ninjas wear rubbers…fo’true!”
*Glory be to Allah Faith Tabernacle Church of God in Christ*
“contracting an STS is not always a character flaw as it is a judgement flaw…teh shady-est ninjas wear rubbers…fo’true!”
dont let the smooth taste fool ya!
Tiff rationalizes:
“but if you trust that your partner is not creeping, and you’re both STD-free —or willing to accept the risks if one is infected — what’s the problem”
THERE IS NO PROBLEM if you are willing to accept the risk of infection.
we all accept risks everyday sexual and otherwise commited or non commited. there is a problem if you think being in a so called “commited relationship” absolves u from the risks. why? because people are fickle.
for not getting killer or other STD’s, trust abstinence (100%),
trust condoms, (greatly reduces the risk, no guarantee)
trust yourself (not so sure, have you ever betrayed yourself?)
trust your partner (the odds are not in ur favor especially over the long haul)
because someone is sexually faithful/commited today doesn’t mean they are faithful next week or next minute for that matter. (including u)
you:
” i’m saying that if you can’t trust your partner, why are you getting naked with him/her *at all?*”
me:
unless ur trying to get pregnant perhaps its better to consistently use protection or abstain.
yeah i know, you should be able to trust so and so, you should be able to trust justice, you should be able to trust our government, you should be able to trust your family.
do u honey bunny, booski-wooski and trust i could give a… (no realy i care baby but if we hit i’m using a condom)
I’m not exactly understanding the hysteria behind some of the comments here. If both parties are:
1. STD-free (or honest about their condition and willing to deal with the risks — and I don’t think most teenagers are equipped to make that decision.)
2. Diligent about contraception (IUDs, DepoProvera and NuvaRing are easy to remember, and as effective as the pill), and
3. Committed to only having sex with each other for the duration of their relationship
I’m not seeing the problem.
Granted, those are some big a** conditions to be met, and having enough trust to meet #3 is a sticking point for most folks. But if no diseases are present or passed and no babies are made, the problem would be …. ?
the problem would be ….
Many People are NOT responsile!
One of these “…IUDs, DepoProvera and NuvaRing are easy to remember, and as effective as the pill…
…Committed to only having sex with each other for the duration of their relationship…”
is absent from too many relationships where people are throwing condoms to the wind.
…Committed to only having sex with each other for the duration of their relationship…”
problem is…we can be exclusive but there are alot of infections due to the behaviors of the partners before the relationship began…or the partner’s partner…the degrees of separation in the spread of disease negate the “safety” of monogamy to a certain extent.
Being responsible and maintaing valid, current health screenings is key if you are (or ever have been) sexually active. And don’t trapeze f*ck…let go of one (and let some time pass) before you grab onto the next one…you can only KNOW what you’re doing..it’s a fool’s bet to vouch for someone else’s behaviors…
“And don’t trapeze f*ck…let go of one (and let some time pass) before you grab onto the next one”
GOODEness, ish like “trapeze f*ck” is why I have a girl crush on ur brain. lol
The problem is that you cannot always take someone’s word for it that you are their ONLY sexual partner. THAT my friend, is called BLIND faith, and some people do not deserve nor have they earned it.
Essentially, going RAW is a decision to put your life into someone else’s hands because if said person DOES have the King of VeeDees, then you are letting them hand you your red slip in life.
“The problem is that you cannot always take someone’s word for it that you are their ONLY sexual partner. THAT my friend, is called BLIND faith, and some people do not deserve nor have they earned it. ”
This is true.
“THAT my friend, is called BLIND faith, and some people do not deserve nor have they earned it. ”
right. but if they have?
don’t get me wrong. fear is a life-preserving thing.
but i keep coming back to this point: if you don’t trust your partner to be faithful and responsible then why have sex with them at all? and why would you be in a relationship with someone you couldn’t trust with your life?
You can have ALL the trust you want for your partner but TRUST is not anti-VD. TRUST wont fight off that virus if you have it.
I’m just saying that if your form of disease prevention is just being with someone you trust, then its highly flawed.
it’s not my only form. but if i know my man is disease free and he does what he has to do to stay that way, then my risk of catching something from him is nil.
now if i don’t think he’s responsible and respectful enough to keep *himself* from getting something, let alone bringing it back to me, then why would i have sex with him at all?
I got tired of reading comments.
What he’s saying might be stupid BUT what he’s saying is just another version of why people reading this scoffing have had or paid for abortions. It’s another version of why people are pregnant by boyfriends and not husbands. It’s another version of why dudes are trying to get a better job because they know eventually they are going to break up with their pregnant girlfriend and she’s going to want major child support. So please, don’t act like this “___ =no condoms” is a dumb teenager thing.
you know i agree with you. truth be told, it wasn’t the no condoms part that stuck out to me. no pun intended. it was that youth feel that going raw was equal to commitment and trust. that just seems so ultimately ridiculous to me that…i think most people are focusing on the going raw aspect and i know folks do that…constantly.
i think its the mental leap that the teenagers are taking that’s whats surprising to me.
i never really use protection during oral six, though, which i guess is bass-ackwards, but i guess it has to do with the whole enjoyment principle; like i might as well make some aspect feel *really* good or else its not worth doing *shrug*
I have the same sentiments about sex with condoms. I’m sorry good people but we all know it doesn’t feel the same.
I can’t sit hear and bash that teenager because I currently to do that ish with my fiancée . The difference were about to get married and we go the clinic and get tested TOGETHER. Well there really isn’t no difference, but I’m not the “do as I say not as I do type”. I really hate hypocrites. I know that what I’m doing is not safe and my wife to be (knocks on wood) might be out there creeping. So i guess I’m in the same boat as that teenager.
Now, I started having sex late in life (age 20, which really isn’t bad but by today standards I was an old fart) and 90% of the time I used a rubber. Luckily I haven’t caught anything. So when my kids get older and we have “the talk”, I going to inform them about all the dangers and stories of my friends that got caught out there. But I’m not going to preach to them or forbid them to have sex. Why? Well, there’s 2 truths I’ve learned about teens.
1.) With teens ish goes in one ear and right out the other
and
2.) A teenager in love is more stubborn than a family of donkey’s.
So what I’m trying to say is a teen is going to do what they want to do. Knowing this how do we as the older generation stop this vicious cycle?
I really dont think there is much you can do, besides educate them and hope they make good choices. Someone above me posted that parents can not control the sexual habits of their children. Thats true, but they can influence them. I think the teenager from the post is just mis-guided and probably hasn’t had anyone teach him about the potential harm going without condoms can do.
Nah, mayne, NAH! So ninjas just can’t say “I love you, let’s get married” no more…running up in raw dog is now supposed to signify “love”? What happens if the people involved have no concept of true love (seriously, at 14-16, eff they know about it)? And if Boomquisha has 6 kids by dudes she “loved”? This makes me sad…and scared for my future babies.
are you telling me that i wasn’t really in love with my high school girlfriend that i really just liked seeing naked???
lol…are you trying to tell me that you were?
This why children should not be engaging in sex. More std’s and rates of youth becoming infected with HIV and AIDs will increase by this logic.
Kids don’t stay in relationships long. You know how it was.. You break up with someone this week and next week ur in another relationship with someone else.
Not to mention u never know someone’s motives or their hidden agenda. They could be saying that just to get some. I wouldn’t want to take that chance with no comittment (ie long term relationship, engagment or marriage).
“This why children should not be engaging in sex.”
Well they are, so we just need to deal with that fact and give them all the resources we can to ensure that they have SAFE sex.
“This why children should not be engaging in sex. More std’s and rates of youth becoming infected with HIV and AIDs will increase by this logic. ”
sidenote: i have a question for everyone, and i’m gonna assume that noone will get this correct:
what percentage of high school students are sexually active?
I will say between 70-80%
most research puts the numbers in the 35-40% range.
and of course, Black kids are having relations at a higher rate (about 45-50%).
f*ck and run.
I’d say probably about 60%. And I’d hate to think of what percentage of them are in schools that teach absitinence-only sex ed.
panama is right. thing is, if you asked most people, they’d probably have replies similar to luvvie’s. i’m bringing this up because of how our perception is sometimes completely disaligned with the reality. point being, this generation isn’t any worse than any generations that came before, and the sooner we all realize that the better
Damn, Well I shut my mouth. I agree that this generation isn’t any worse than the previous ones. The thing is though, the consequences from the mistakes we make are more severe than those from when our parents were young and stupid.
Nah. Not really…Back in the day, when Colored folks (I was born in New Orleans (7th ward!!); my birth certificate said my parents were Colored and I ain’t THAT old) really had limited access to health care, some of the stuff that can now be cured with a course of penicillin could kill you, cause you to lose your mind, etc.
the thing is…these whipper snappers don’t grasp that bagless bagging is life changing…As a parent, I will go out on a limb and agree that kids are just like any other STS (sexually transmitted situation). Getting pregnant is the LEAST of their concerns, in this day and age getting pregnant doesn’t necessarily mean having a baby. Chronic crotch rot isn’t even a deterent to this knuckle draggin because thanks to modern medicine, people live semi-normal lives while infected with gonno-sypha-herp-AIDS-orea…sad but true…the consequences of raw-dawging (real or implied) have been watered down to a mere incovenience that can be ameliorated with a shot, some pills, or a trip to the “chop shop” (I heard a teen say this on the bus and was immediately sickened)
so sad but so true…WTF is we gwon do?
“chop shop”
Wow….too sad!
I blame the pharmaceutical industry in good ole Usah. These crooks who have only been held acountable for their products since the late 70s when they gave out vat mixed plasma w/ complimentary hep c. So now what do they do. They apply a disclaimer stating literally this is how the medacine is supposed to work. That’s why body mechanics aka doctors do what is called practice. Same as lawyers n polyticians. But them pharmaceutical co. sell their valtrex n hiv cocktails w/ movie star poster children (I actually think that Magic is on a payroll {just my own lil conspiracy theory}). They are the youths newest fav toy comercial. Only it’s played during these The Hills Run’s House Baldwin Hills shows instead of the satuday morning and after school cartoon time slots.
As a precocious youngster. I was caught stretching my baby man meat. Moms was all, ‘WuDaMan your gonna pull it off.’ To which I retorted, ‘ah Ma I’ll just get another one over @ Tip Top (local grocer) they sell some of everything there.’ The false sense of security needs to be aknoledged in the minds of our youth. & I mean the world though cuz there’s lots of ill rumors going on all over the globe. In South Africa there is a rumor that circulates that states that if you ceks down a virgin you will be cured of the hiv. n now rape is tooo rampant out there. Absolutely horrible.
(I actually think that Magic is on a payroll {just my own lil conspiracy theory}).
Oh yeah?
I think Magic Johnson is the best AND worst thing to happen to the FACE of AIDS. Sure Magic showed people that they can live regular lives with AIDS. On the other hand, Magic showed people they can live regular lives with AIDS.
Now, people don’t understand the severity of AIDS b/c they are looking at Magic and saying “well it cant be all that bad. Magic is fine.” When in actuality, Magic has to coat his throat with mineral oil b/c he has to take over 13 horse pills a day.
AIDS ain’t no flu.
WuDa…real talk babe…this isn’t just about the kids…we are all on teh hit list for this ish…the youngsters are being scapgoated and it’s f*cked up….if a 30 year old man was saying it…it would still sound just as personal…but wouldn’t get the same response…I feel bad for the kids…most of them probably aren’t even feeding this monster…
(I actually think that Magic is on a payroll {just my own lil conspiracy theory}).
Man I wrote a whole 2000 word essay on this. It was actually the third of fourth thing I ever wrote as a blogger back in 2004.
My theory? Magic works for Starbucks to gentrify urban neighborhoods and in turn, they cured him.
My theory? Magic works for Starbucks to gentrify urban neighborhoods and in turn, they cured him.
Oh wow.
I just always figured he was rich and had the best access to healthcare, medicines, and alternative therapies that me or you, or the average Joe Schmo wouldn’t have.
Well dayum.
You can also get this coktale in jale. The man wants to make sure your able to do your time. Thats why some people try to become lifers after a jail ghey ends up in an infection and they know they don’t have the $ or the connects to get surance or good healthcare in muurriikkuuhh.
Hmmm.
I’m learning a lot today.
“My theory? Magic works for Starbucks to gentrify urban neighborhoods and in turn, they cured him.”
Google may have also cured him. They are tryna take over the world (and I will be a happy minion. Gmail rocks my socks)
I agree with this theory when I heard that Johnson’s Starbucks served peach cobbler instead of scones.
i think jim jones infected magic
I was waiting on this…lol
I knew JJ was coming up sooner or later…ha!
They sell peach cobbler?????
I think bread pudding goes better with coffee…
Hey you from the city in the mid-west best city in the whole wide wide world. Could you send a bro a suzie q. I ain’t seen one in 6 mo. I feel like I’m doing a bid or something. Where am I going to get an italian beef or maxwel polish some harolds kenneys and jjs from I don’t know but ya boy is geekin. uuuh
I’m SO glad you kno Chicity is the best!!
I grew up in Gary. That’s from that new Lupe Fiasco ‘Go Go Gadget Flow’
“Magic works for Starbucks to gentrify urban neighborhoods and in turn, they cured him.”
How very republican of him. I think they saught him out cuz he talks like big baby from rosewood (sorry 4 bringing up that movie). But I bet he ain’t that dumb to go for the okey doke and sell they product. I mean even if he is that dumb (which he is not) he has to have @ least figured it out by now. I think he got Colon Poweled.
“Chronic crotch rot” just made me spit out my gummy flintstone vitamins mid-chew
Actually speaking to the topic – going raw with that special someone is what’s hot in the streets (especially if those streets have perfectly manicured lawns and cul-de-sacs @ the end)
***WIA emerges from shadows…announces socio-economical strategical double standard knowledge…drops mic…and walks off stage***
luvitmane!
Something just hit me:
When I was a teenager, I was not thinking about unprotected sex with boys. I was not thinking about sex with boys, period.
Why? I was afraid. My father put serious fear in me. He also spent all his free time ensuring my virginity remained intact. No boy phone calls till 15, no dates till 16, stuff like that. And my mom repeatedly told me how very disappointed she’d be in me if I got pregnant. She told me I had the whole world ahead of me. All that good stuff.
Yeah…you can talk to a teen and it can go in one ear and out the other. But you can instill serious fear in them, old school, and build them up so they love themselves enough to be smarter than most adults are when it comes to sex.
The kids in this piece need to spend a week with my folks.
I wasn’t trying to have chex at that age either. But the difference between your sitch and mine was that I was allowed to go out w/boys, talk to them etc. But I still knew better than to 1) shame my family by coming home knocked up 2) have a kid making me STUCK in Detroit for the rest of time. No thanks!
Your Dad and My Dad musta been close relatives.
lol
If one of my male friends (i’m talking about a friend, not even someone I was interested in) came to the house, we had to sit at the kitchen table and talk.
Wasn’t no chillin’ in the room watching TV, if we were watching TV it was in the family room with my Dad running through that bad boy every 5 to 10 minutes to see what was goings on…lol
Oh yes. The in-room visit was a no-no. Imagine my surprise when I got to HU and had a friend whose mother let her fly to MOREHOUSE and stay WITH her boyfriend…She didn’t have a daddy though and clearly her mother wasn’t too bright.
Wow.
Yep Mom was setting her up for failure…lol
Yeah, I’m a strong advocate in instilling the fear of both you AND God in kids.
My momma told me she wasn’t raising no more babies! and hell, i knew i darn sure couldn’t at the age of 16 (hell, i’m 24 now with a well paying job, and i still can’t raise no babies) so i don’t understand how so many youngins think they’re ready for such a committment.
i was at the doctor last week gettin that annual ps and the nurse told me that just last week 3 18-19 year olds came in pregnant talkin bout they’re ready to start their “families”….WTF
Thats a damn mess. But what about the 2o somethings and thirty somethings who are saying the same thing? No hubby, ring, house, in sight? Ish is just as ridic at 33 as it is at 13 when you’re not ready to raise a kid.
I would hope (I know…I live in fantasy world) that at 33 you are ready to take care of a child. You should at least have the basics covered: food, shelter, health insurance. (again, I know I live in fantasy land. But this is my hope for the future).
At 13, had I been able to dodge my parents and got nekkid with a boy and got caught up, I would have run away some where, threw myself down the stairs, something. Shaming the good Catholic fam is not something I wanted to do. Plus, I didn’t want my old man in prison for killing the boy who knocked up his only daughter. I’m 33 now and if I somehow managed to get caught up after years of dodging the stork, I will handle it. And then I wouldn’t have to hear the “you’re 33? You don’t have kids? What’s wrong with you?”
*mourns the day not having kids was a thing strangers admired you for*
Point: grown ups are in different positions to make these types of decisions.
There are tons of men who have resisted wearing raincoats since they were invented. Shortcuts to pleasure ain’t new at all; it’s only a new and slicker PR package to convince their partner(s) to take a risk when they’re unwilling to risk marriage.
This past weekend I wrote a great article –> Treachery & Toxic Secrets, and this amazing story includes two scenarios on this issue and what happened.
Champ, don’t know if you have the time, but if you do and can swing by and read it, and give your expert opinion on what the men in the story may have been thinking, I’d appreciate it.
“Champ, don’t know if you have the time, but if you do and can swing by and read it, and give your expert opinion on what the men in the story may have been thinking, I’d appreciate it.”
will do
Hmmm…so after reading the comments it comes down to one question…when can you go raw…or with today’s situation can we ever?
From reading the comments it seems it seems to be either never, or
after getting tested as soon as you two meet, then refraining from sex while waiting until the results come in that syas youre both disease free, then still abstain from sex while waiting six months later, when you take a test for the diseases that may have been dormant during your first test and it comes back clear, then still abstaining while making a committment to trust each other, never cheat, and discuss the consequences of unplanned parenthood.
Then maybe…?
Good point, and the institution of marriage is pretty much a joke these days so you can’t even be safe within the confines of that mental institution…. what to do? *sigh*
and the plot thickens…
“Hmmm…so after reading the comments it comes down to one question…when can you go raw…or with today’s situation can we ever?”
My take? After you’ve been together at least 6 months, have had the “what are we doing?” relationship discussion, and after getting tested. Until then I say strap up…
The reality is that you can go raw whenever you want. Just know that there are (potentially deadly) consequences to every decision you make.
That’s real.
If you are in a committed relationship, you are taking a serious leap of faith that your partner will honor the commitment and not endanger your life (scary…but that type of faith is a beautiful thing).
I blame no other than Big Daddy Kane for all this going raw mess!
RAW = Ready and Willing
Okay, you know I had to throw in my Hip Hop quote for today . . . sue me
hahahha!!!
I can’t believe you threw Big Daddy Kane under the bus…
Hilarious.
I guess you could do the same to LL for “Pink Cookies In A Plastic Bag Getting Crushed By Buildings”.
at least the cookies were in a bag….
lol
If we’re going by the notion that unprotected sex = new form of committment then the kid is absolutely right.
When one of my friends in college informed us that he and his girlfriend didn’t use a jimmyhat, because she was on the pill, we told him that he was literally trusting this girl with his life. If thats not committment then I don’t know what is.
“If we’re going by the notion that unprotected sex = new form of committment then the kid is absolutely right.
When one of my friends in college informed us that he and his girlfriend didn’t use a jimmyhat, because she was on the pill, we told him that he was literally trusting this girl with his life. If thats not committment then I don’t know what is.”
good point
This sounds ridiculous to me, BUT, I hear people 10, 20 years older doing the same thing! They aren’t using goofy teenagerisms (i.e. “like a, like, engagement ring without engagment or a like, ring”), but they seem to think that being “monagamous” means it’s cool to go raw with your partner who you may have no interest in marrying or co-parenting with. Birth control, shmirth control….they don’t yet make AIDS control. I’m saving the raw for my husband and praying I get one who is faithful.
Yup. Grown folks are dummies too. They just dummies with crow’s feet and thinning hair.
Hey. I’m grown and have nary a crow’s feet and I’ve got a head full of hair. Don’t get yo back dirtied, Luvvie.
R yall cousins or neighbors or something V.E.G. and Luvvie? Can’t nobody talk shyyyiiit like south n west siders.
V.E.G. is like my play cousin. I even call her Pookie sometimes. lol
And I’m a northsider. I STILL talk ish and roast w/ the best of ‘em.
ooooh well gone w/ yo bad self. Yall are making me miss home a lil.
And I am from the N.O. But I was hardened in the mean streets of Chicago.
V, aint ish “hardened” bout you. Stop the madness immejately.
You lookin to get bricked, Luvvie.
Run and tell ya momma bout dat.
I kinda wanna kick it w/ yall one day when I get back home. I got to make a N.O. trip too just because. I been a fan of lots of N.O. stuff but never been.
LOL we’re pretty awesome. U’d have a blast.
Ok ok ok…so supposedly everyone on here is extremely responsible and never went raw…sure! But let me put the question out there…say you are in a commited relationship for about 3 years and your crazy in love with this person. And one night the wrapper breaks…and fluids are transferred…and someone catches something…then what? You were responsible…right? Who’s to blame? Would you stay with that person?
I don’t think anyone is saying they have never gone raw……
Wouldn’t that make the relationship not be committed if they have caught something within that 3 years, so I am not sure I understand your question.
I guess my question would be, why havent you taken the necessary stepts to protect yourself (just in case) after three years? Why haven’t you been tested?
My thinking is this, if youre going to be in a serious relationship or just a serious f**king relationship with another person for an extended period of time then go get tested. It cant hurt to take precautions.
I don’t think anyone is saying they have never gone raw……
Yeah…I don’t think anyone said that. I’m sure we’ve all slipped up from time to time.
“Ok ok ok…so supposedly everyone on here is extremely responsible and never went raw…sure!”
I don’t think anyone on here said they have never went raw. Mistakes have been made but everyone here seems to realize that there can be severe consequences to our mistakes.
aight…I will take the bait…there are some questions I would have to ask that would make my decision for me…
scenario 1 – if we were together 3 yrs…then (in my world) we’ve gotten tested together, so I knew you were disease free and the condoms were for planned parenthood not STS control…if that’s the case…I would leave…beause you were clean the last time we went to the clinic…and now you’re dirty, ni99a?? …BOUNCE!!
scenario 2 – if we were together 3 yrs adn had never mutually confirmed each other’s health records, I wouldn’t be abke to tell if your d!ck was dirty the whole time or if this is new-new no-no…so I don’t know…there would be trust issues surfacing er’where though!
my sister had this happen with a guy…but they were like 90 days in…the condom broke…she got TRICH…they weren’t virgins when they met so they charged it to the game, took their meds, and got tested together from there on out…they broke up later for other shullbit though, but I thought it was a very mature stance…
trich is one of those that u can get from wearing really tight pants, though…
I need to get a shirt that says “I’m positive I’m negative” or “I’m +, I’m -”.
Who’s with me??
I like it. I’d buy.
My shirt would say:
Front: I’m positive I’m negative. Are you?
Back: No? Step the hell off.
Ok, that ain’t not shirt now more. That’s a survey. lol STOP it.
TypoCop is eyeing you, Luvvie.
I AM TypoCop. You, are the GrammarNator. So know your place.
This just goes to show the problem with kids having kids. Obviously some of these teens were raised by someone who was young themselves when having them and didn’t provide with the correct knowledge about life and health issues. It’s just really sad to hear that these teens think they’re invincible, and sadly enough, until something happens to someone close to them–they will continue to think that way.
Lord, help the chirren!
Vodka&Milk, eh??
Thats BOUND to have your tummy kcufed up!
Fa’ sho.
That’s a combo for yo’ arse.
Vodka and Milk is a breakfast drink.
another hip-hop reference (i assume it’s a Mobb Deep reference anyway)…
LOL from commenting on the state of someone’s “tummy” and from your comment on Flintstones chewables, someone could easily infer that you, Luvvie, are all of eight years old.
Don’t hate on the Flintstones. I GETS my daily recommended doses! do YOU??
TUMS (the result of Vodka & Milk) I can’t say I agree with your stance on young parents…I know older folks that were too ignit to reproduce and did it anyway…selfish people…ni99as that think kids are accessories to dress up and show off like teacup terriers…etc…and I know some younger parents that are doing what they have to do to be good parents because they have living breathing examples of what they don’t want to be…ya know?
and really…I thought I was invicible as a teen too…you know we all thought we knew it all back then…I wish I could back in time and spondoo myself for some of the dumb ish I did back in the gap!
I totally agree with you. And I would have touched on that, but I was writing in a hurry, haha. But you’re right in that some older people aren’t doing their job and some younger parents are. It’s just sad though when teens act not only stupid, but stoooooopid, especially when it comes down to life or death.
“Vodka and Milk is a breakfast drink.”
it was my breakfast today. along with toast
“it was my breakfast today. along with toast”
YES!!!!!!!!!!!
Would you happen to be the bad ssa baby of a too young mother? Did she serve it up in a bottle and call it ‘baby hush’?
“Would you happen to be the bad ssa baby of a too young mother? Did she serve it up in a bottle and call it ‘baby hush’?”
“Baby hush” just induced the gigglefits in me.
Me too Luvvie….and I can’t stop laughing. HAHA
No, actually my mom was grown and already working as a teacher! Lmao, but I can see why you would think that.
“Vodka and Milk is a breakfast drink.”
it was my breakfast today. along with toast
Wow, ya’ll are killing me over here about the name. I had no idea it would garner this much fanfare, lol. Loves it! But honestly, I don’t think vodka and milk would be too good of a combo, but it’s a heck of a way to start your day! Just make sure you have your tums omelette on the side.
IMO, milk goes better with brandy.
oh wait, nobody asked that did they?
LMAO!! Brandy & Milk?? Shay, go SAT DOWN!
Milk & Brandy sounds like some fooly wang tom foolery… lol
vodka/milk, vodka/brandy, vodka/rat poison.
That’s that foolishness, right thurr.
It really is.
Yeah, it’s a pretty crazy name, but my comrade Macaroni Tony came up with it. It’s the name of our blog–guess he wanted something to stand out, and it sure does! lmao, but I love it.
“Macaroni Tony ”
This one is great as well.
Now for real the drink is burbon and milk and powdered sugar it’s called milk punch. For the afficiano’s aka alcoaholics put some heavy cream in there. I’m lactose intolerant now but this was one of my first drinks thanks Aunt Bessie. & btw V&M this is a common sityo in some hoods for mother’s who lack better new baby parenting skills. They need to learn that rock n shhshshshshshshsshsh sound thing.
LMAO, you are too silly.
Um. I’ve had milk punch…
of coarse you have that’s it is a mississippi delta fav like a mint julep in KY.
@Champ
“point being, this generation isn’t any worse than any generations that came before, and the sooner we all realize that the better”
while statistically promiscuity is no greater than it was in the previous generation, reported std rates are still climbing nationwide. (namely chlamydia, syphillis, herpes and AIDS) this is one perception that is not misaligned with the reality. This alone makes our generation WORSE (and these are the cases that are REPORTED)
check it out: http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats/toc2006.htm
Bottom line: Our generation IS worse and if an exaggerated perception makes me double up on contraception or cautions me to the point of abstinence, then I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing.
You know who else I blame for the “doin it raw” fiasco.
Porno Movies. Think about it, when you got your first sneak speak at a skin flick, were the actors wearing condoms? Or what about the real nasty flicks where one guy dips his “fun-stick” in bowl, takes it out and dips it in a different bowl – all without wearing a rubber.
So Damn you Mr Marcus!!!! For making all the liitle niglets out there think their “fun-sticks” are impervious to std’s
Since I’m still playing the blame game, I’d like to throw older more experience, and nasty cousins/uncles/friends under the bus that’s. That’s right you buddy!!
I blame you for saying lines like, “Your not a real man until you get burnt”
Okay maybe that was just the sicko’s in my family!
Did you grow up in North West Indiana. Cuz rumors of these dudes were in my hood. The story goes they would get women to get w/ them and halfway through the act they would beging to pontificat btw I’m burning. iiew. And the mentally ill and bitter. Mad @ the world so they start going around trying to give it out. This goes for some of all vd including hiv. They really need to start showing dave chapelle’s vd/don’t do drugs muppet skit on pbs 4 the kids.
One of my exes had genital warts that just “popped up” out of nowhere. He was extremely embarrassed by it and hid if from me for the longest until…he needed help putting a suppositorie up his behind. (Yep, this is the one) I got tested and didn’t get infected, but dammit was I scared. Even when he got them freeze dried, he had the strain, which is what I understand of all STD’s…they are kind of like colds, once you get them, you have the strain for antibody purposes…or something like that, right? No?
I wonder how many of my friends and family have HIV…I don’t know that any of them are affected by it. Scary.
SO, since I’m probably in this boy’s age range (i’m 18) i can fully say that that is the biggest load of CRAP i’ve heard since my older cousin told me oral s*x whitens teeth. Even if i was in a monogamous commited relationship condoms would still be used because it takes one forgotten pill and BAM baby. Or even worse one drunken unprotected night with the broad that sleeps with everyone then you are coming back with something you may have not known you had. I dont understand what the big deal is about wearing condoms. 4 dollas to buy a back save you thousands in the long run whether it be for baby stuff or medicine. All i know is that for me even if i’m in a committed relationship he should respect me enough and himself to protect both of us. the only time it should come out of the sleeping bag is when there is a ring and committment.
OK.. now it sounds like a diss to my hometown of Oakland..but imma let that slide..lol
These kids ( teenagers to early 20s) now a days footloose n fancy free and cant see the forest before the trees! – as my mama would say!
Sex can be lethal if you do not take the proper precautions. A unplanned pregnancy is just the tip of the iceburg.. theres HIV/AIDS on the opposite end. That will Kill YOU. I have seen the ravages of AIDS on people close to me.. and even though they have drugs that prolong your illness, it still changes your life forever. And im sure no one wants to live like that.
So make sure you wear your Jimmy Hats!!
All I can say is DAYUM I hate I missed this topic yesterday. Houston, we have a problem…