Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

Link Of The Week: Sending My Love.

I miss Zhane.

I’m not even sure how to approach this story that I came across on CNN.com the other day.

In fact, I think the only want to do it is to put up some paragraphs from this story:

Breaking up over e-mail is a social no-no.

But sending an e-card telling someone to get tested for STDs may be a public health courtesy.
A California-based nonprofit allows users to send free e-cards notifying their sexual partners to get tested for STDs.

Um..say heffa say what??

Since 2004, a free Web site, inSpot.org has allowed users to anonymously notify their partners to get tested for STDs such as HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis.

It may not be the most personal way of delivering the news, but researchers say it beats not saying anything at all.

“When you weigh the importance of getting people notified, that’s ultimately what needs to be done,” said Jeffrey D. Klausner, director of STD Prevention and Control Services in San Francisco, California’s Department of Public Health. “By notifying them — even if it’s done anonymously, even distantly, even with an e-card — the benefits of getting someone diagnosed and treated outweigh the concerns of insensitivity.”

The electronic cards deliver the news in a variety of styles. Some are flirty: “You’re too hot to be out of action. I got diagnosed with an STD since we played. You might want to get checked too.”

Some are somber: “Who? What? When? Where? It doesn’t matter. I got an STD; you might have it too. Please get checked out.”

Oh no she didn’t! Oh no she didn’t!

I don’t know about you all but I can’t IMAGINE getting an e-card that suggests I get tested for an STD from somebody. Granted, if they come down with something then its great that they let me know that perhaps I should find out for myself…but these cards kind of lend a light heart to what could be a burning problem.

Truly, it is important that people get tested. But if I got this e-card:

You’re hot! But you may be hotter after what I just found out. I have an STD and its lighting me up. You should go get checked since we fooled around the other night and got real free with one another!

Or perhaps this one:

You’re so great I want to applaud you. Unfortunately, I may also have given you just a single clap. STD’s aren’t a joke, go get tested!

Or worse yet, how about the direct approach:

I’ve got syphilis now. What about you? You should go find out!

I just might be ready to lick off a shot or two!

My people, my people, what in the hell would you do if you got an e-card from somebody suggesting that you get tested for an STD? Would you be mad that this was the route being taken or just be happy they let you know?

And because I’m going to Hell, let’s come up with some cards of our own!

Now make it clap.

-VSB P aka TANGLE JIG P aka THE ARSONIST

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is a co-founder of VSB and co-author of Your Degrees Won't Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    whats the difference between herpes and love??

    herpes lasts forever! go get checked!

    • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

      herpes is the gift that keeps on giving.

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        you ain’t lying V.E.G. and for those of you who missed my PSA a couple of months ago… 3 words: herpetic
        eye disease
        . i know because i worked for a corneal surgeon in the ATL that treated this…with corneal transplants!!! think before you take that next shot in the eye…lol.

        • http://curlyfrieswiththat.blogspot.com CurlyFries

          Oh my goodness…that does NOT sound fun AT ALL!! (major understatement)

        • http://www.MrSwagger.com J. McFly

          WOW!!! that is so not funny

        • JBoogie

          I’ve actually about cases like this-just gross!

        • miss t-lee

          Yep…I’ve heard of this.
          There’s all kinds of nastiness going on.

        • The Queen

          I really want to know who is actually taking shots in the eye. People admit to giving head but no one admits to this.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            they might admit to receiving a shot in the eye, but they will most likely not admit to ASKING for the eye shot….

          • SouthernGirl

            cause shots to the eye=hoe sh!t. and not in a good way.

            *apologies to any undercover eye shot takers….but i’m just saying…*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      see that right there would piss me off to no end. what i got to thinking is this though, what IS the appropriate way to inform somebody that you have an STD? like…there’s really no good way to do it…it aint gonna be a fun convo no matter how you do it…

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    oh yeah, and in answer to the question…honestly, in my line of work…i see so many cowards doin dumb ish. i would just be grateful that the person let me know. it sucks that they didnt have the cajones to drop a damn voicemail. but shiiiiit, better safe than sorry!

    i keep thinking though, what if you dont take it seriously? i think reading a couple of those, my first instinct was to say “stop playin!” it reminds me of those tips cards from the late 90s, when i was in undergrad. you could say dumb stuff like, “your scent is unbearable.” or something of that nature…and those were used in either a joking or a spiteful way…i could see these STD cards being abused and/or dismissed.

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

      I work in public health. the City of Philadelphia STD clinic is right below my office…. Lawd, the DRAMA I have heard outside my window when people get their results…

      • eff yo couch

        Broad & Lombard by any chance?

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

          The ugly-blue-regurgitated-swimming-pool-looking-monstrosity…. yes.

          Have you been to visit us?

          I keed, I keed.

          • eff yo couch

            Yeah, I’ve sweated some bullets up in there before

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        oh, i cant even imagine working in public health on that front! lol…i work with sex addicts. talk about your awkward conversations! i mean, not only have you been up to all sorts of debauchery behind my back, but now i may have a disease because of it!?!? oh HELL naw….

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

          let’s just say the police have been called up here a few times…

          once someone almost got got right in front of the building by his “homeboy”

  • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

    you remember the other night when I told you that we shouldn’t be doing this? that we’re moving too fast?

    That’s because I just had a outbreak and needed time for it to go into recession.

    Remember later on when you were joking that I may have blinded you with that shot to the face? . . . well. . .it’s probably no longer a joke.

    Oh, and really, you believed that I put on a condom with the “pleasure bumps”. I told you we should have done it with the lights on.

    Get tested.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      LMAO! “pleasure bumps”!!!!

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      I would merk someone for sending me that E-Card.

      • Just Stop It

        “merk” lol…haven’t heard that word in a minute.

        • miss t-lee

          Nicki is hardcore!!!!
          I like your style. :)

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        yep, this is the kind of e-card that you slap a mothertrucker for.

  • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    Sending an e-card to tell someone you may or may not have given them an STD is cowardly but it is better than not telling them at all.

    However, it is dangerous cuz people may not take it seriously. OR the ish may get filtered into a spam folder and they’ll never get it.

    There are reports that folks don’t get the ‘please don’t give blood again and get to the doctor asap’ voice mails left by the Red Cross. If that’s the case, how can we trust email, of all things, to deliver such an important message?

    Personally, if I got such a card I would, after a thorough check up by the doctor, generate a list of mo fos I’d need to track down and have a ‘talk’ with.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      you have a point about the spam/junk filter. that would be terrible. the red cross ain’t no joke though, in college they would hunt folks down on campus and make sure they got the message. it always seemed part urban myth until someone’s biology lab partner didn’t show up the next day.

      • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        Yeah. Red Cross is serious. But I think there is some report of a college ball player who never got the voicemail they left for him. He was out spreading the love…clueless to his status.

        As an aside, I gave blood in December and got a letter from the Red Cross about 3 weeks later.

        I crumbled to the floor and was trying to figure out who/when/how!

        Finally I opened it. Inside was my new donor card and a magnet with my next ‘safe’ date to donate.

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

          this happened to me in HS…. two weeks before graduation. I nearly died in my mother’s kitchen, until I saw what it was. Then I did the best happy dance of my young life…

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      yeah cause folks be in pure denial about STDS..here is an example

      I had a chick I worked with who had been having “female” problems for 3 months and never got it checked out. Even after her ex.came up to the job and glued like 10 of those neon notice cards they give you at the health department on her car… after 2 more dudes blamed her for their “heated situations” she finally went to get checked and told me the nurse performed the test wrong but he treated her for chlamydia just in case… uh yeah

      LOL (I posted this on another site so I didnt steal it in case someone thinks I did…I just didnt feel like retyping it)

      • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        Wow. and she’s just out there raw dogging with ‘em all, huh? Spreading the love?

        Stank azz.

        • miss t-lee

          Ewwww.

  • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    Jimbo:

    We both kept saying over and over that what we shared that night was special. As fate would have it, we may also be sharing the same strain of gonorrhea.

    I suggest you see a doctor.

    Smooches.

  • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    Kenny:

    If you are currently experiencing a discharge and/or burning sensation, I am sorry.

    There’s a free clinic on Halsted. I remember you saying you didn’t have any coverage.

    • 8th Wonder

      “There’s a free clinic on Halsted. I remember you saying you didn’t have any coverage.”

      MEDIC!

  • http://krystaliah.blogspot.com/ Krystaliah

    One of my “friends” did something similar too his wife because he wanted a divorce and didn’t know how to tell her…he was too busy trying to leave her for me and get a place in the Caribbean. Typical Ivy pretentious bastard.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      wait a sec, is this a faux e-card or a vsb confession?

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    remember how i always used to say you were crazy? well, fyi, untreated syphilis can cause madness….you should probably go get checked out.

    • Intellectual Hedonist

      oooh I hate you

      “remember how i always used to say you were crazy? well, fyi, untreated syphilis can cause madness”

      I think I peed myself

  • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

    turns out we shared more than an org@sm last week. so, go get tested loverboy. xoxo

    i think it would be nice to know who gave you what, so that you could immediately cut that person out of your roster for life…however, finding out is better than nothing. but, what happened to getting tested for stds between partners? it’s not that time consuming and depending on where you live sometimes hiv testing and std testing is free! btw, lookie all the google ads are about testing now…hee, hee. i love technology.

    • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

      I am a strong believer in getting tested between partners.

      For HIV, however, doing so won’t tell you much. The virus can take some time showing up in your system. It’s too late for me to get technical but y’all know.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        yeah, but at least they’re going to get tested and willing to find out.

        i think i’ve said this before on this site, but man, getting that first HIV test was the most nervewracking thing I’d ever done…but after I found out i was negative…man i tried to get a test done everyday just to confirm it over and over again..lol…i was terribly excited. like i got a new lease on life. and i was so happy i wanted to be excited everyday after.

        this same thing happened when i found out i had good credit. lol. i check my credit everyday now just so i can see my score. lol.

  • http://www.gettogetha.com Get Togetha

    My first reaction are usually disbelief. I’m one of those people that thinks that bad sh!t won’t happen to me.

    Initial lukewarm response:

    “Oh snap son. I just got played through e-mail.”

    Then about twenty minutes later I would turn into a raving lunatic.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i think like many other people, i’d think it was a joke b/c really, who sends a damn e-card on some “you’ve got an STD” mess? it seems like a joke all around…