Theory & Essay

link of the week: man up

recently dubbed the “sexiest woman on earth” (ha!) by jerkmag FMH, attractive snizzle megan fox recently explained in GQ why she feels as if she’s the perfect catch

But for now, it’s hard not to wish for a world where everyone in Hollywood talked like this no-bullshit Megan Fox. This one who is convinced that she’s secretly a man (“If my mom were to tell me that I’d been born with male and female genitalia and that she had to make a choice, I would believe her”). This one who’s not afraid to talk about her life at home, where she and Brian spend most of their time watching movies and playing Xbox together. She’s even up for just sitting there all day watching him play Gears of War.

“That’s the upside of dating a woman who’s almost a man,” she says. “She likes the same things that you like, but she has a vagina!”

from “sex in the city’s” amanda to ciara’s “like a boy”, the idea of women approaching romance like a typical man has always been a relevant, if somewhat polarizing, topic. this idea itself explicitly states that there are distinct differences in the thought processes, dating, and mating patterns between each gender (which i believe) and also not so subtly implies that men do it better.

honestly, i don’t believe that any gender has a distinct advantage over the other in this regard, but i will say that its a bit humorous that women who openly state that they “act, think, and date like men” usually have just adopted the worst characteristics of the typical male. its like a young emcee saying that they’re trying to emulate nas…but choosing “nastradamus” as their blueprint instead of “illmatic”.

questions to ponder:

what exactly is “dating like a man”, how exactly would a woman go about doing this and, is purposely emulating the traits of another gender a good thing or a disaster waiting to happen?

thoughts, please

—the champ

Filed Under: , ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

Previously

gotdamn!

  • SouthernGirl

    from “sex in the city’s” amanda

    i think you mean samantha…lol

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      Champ must have had some of that gotdamn messing with his brain…. smh

      • Leila

        lol! I was trying to figure out who Amanda was.

      • Leila

        lol! I was trying to figure out who Amanda was.

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      Champ must have had some of that gotdamn messing with his brain…. smh

    • http://www.myspace.com/datfya BigBuck

      Leave him alone, I give the man props for getting it wrong. I would have to ask some questions if the brother was really up on his Sex in the City character knowledge.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        yeah, you know i went to see the movie with some of my homegirls and i still don’t know all the characters names. in fact…i only know the chick miranda’s name. i don’t even know sarah jessica parker’s name on the show.

        and i’m really trying to figure it out right now…and i got nothing.

        • miss t-lee

          Carrie…lol

        • miss t-lee

          Carrie…lol

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        yeah, you know i went to see the movie with some of my homegirls and i still don’t know all the characters names. in fact…i only know the chick miranda’s name. i don’t even know sarah jessica parker’s name on the show.

        and i’m really trying to figure it out right now…and i got nothing.

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        first, HEY BIG BUCK! we missed you!

        second, but what’s Champ’s excuse for calling that magazine “FMH” instead of FHM…i thought you men liked those types of mags.
        Champ, you’re slippin. Report to my journalism class immediately!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “i thought you men liked those types of mags.”

          i dont think anyone actually buys those mags other than barbershops and college students.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “i thought you men liked those types of mags.”

          i dont think anyone actually buys those mags other than barbershops and college students.

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        first, HEY BIG BUCK! we missed you!

        second, but what’s Champ’s excuse for calling that magazine “FMH” instead of FHM…i thought you men liked those types of mags.
        Champ, you’re slippin. Report to my journalism class immediately!

    • http://www.myspace.com/datfya BigBuck

      Leave him alone, I give the man props for getting it wrong. I would have to ask some questions if the brother was really up on his Sex in the City character knowledge.

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      What guy really takes stock in the names of ‘sex and the city’ characters???? Like really, if someone held a gun to my head and told me to recite the characters’ names or they’d shoot, I’d be dead.

      • http://www.myspace.com/bbgirl180 Tay

        They did something similar to one of the children on family guy. Each time he couldn’t remember all 4 names, they gave him electroshock therapy. lol

      • http://www.myspace.com/bbgirl180 Tay

        They did something similar to one of the children on family guy. Each time he couldn’t remember all 4 names, they gave him electroshock therapy. lol

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        I don’t think I’d make it out alive either, Monk. I think I may have watch that show once. Meh…couldn’t relate.

        • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

          It’s kinda like an evil Jeopardy question that Alex Trebec would ask a dude that just knew EVERYTHING. Because he spent more than 87% of his life remembering ‘important’ things, that’ll be the one thing that stomped him.

        • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

          It’s kinda like an evil Jeopardy question that Alex Trebec would ask a dude that just knew EVERYTHING. Because he spent more than 87% of his life remembering ‘important’ things, that’ll be the one thing that stomped him.

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        I don’t think I’d make it out alive either, Monk. I think I may have watch that show once. Meh…couldn’t relate.

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      What guy really takes stock in the names of ‘sex and the city’ characters???? Like really, if someone held a gun to my head and told me to recite the characters’ names or they’d shoot, I’d be dead.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      samantha, amanda, gonzaga…same thing

      • 8th Wonder

        Only it isn’t.

      • 8th Wonder

        Only it isn’t.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      samantha, amanda, gonzaga…same thing

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      stuck in a melrose place past..we forgive you Champ

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        ummm…thanks. (i think)

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        ummm…thanks. (i think)

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      stuck in a melrose place past..we forgive you Champ

  • SouthernGirl

    from “sex in the city’s” amanda

    i think you mean samantha…lol

  • SouthernGirl

    as for the question, i think doing anything that is not true to who you are is the disaster waiting to happen. be it trying to date like a man or trying to make something work when everything in your spirit is telling you that its wrong. i think you have a point though about people trying to date like the opposite sex usually meaning taking on the bad traits of that gender. i know i can usually only go so far without getting attached to someone, IF that’s what i’m looking for as i’m more of a relationship girl but i have had a cut buddy here and there.

    actually, i’ve been told i’m a guy’s girl because i love basketball, know music/(real) hip hop, mob movies, video games and the like. and i can get real rowdy and cuss like a sailor if need be. but i think i balance things well because i’m also very feminine, makeup, hair done, etc. and the walk is mean in a good pair of heels,of which i have many. so maybe the point should be trying to find a balance…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “i think you have a point though about people trying to date like the opposite sex usually meaning taking on the bad traits of that gender”

      lol…i specifically said “women” not “people” for a reason. this seems to be female-specific behavior

      • Leila

        It wouldn’t work for men. Women would lose respect for any man that went around saying that he dates like a woman and likes the same things that a woman does only he has a penis. I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          “I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.”

          that’s probably b/c he’d be gay. or at least ubermetro and teetering on that line by wearing clear nail polish.

          not that there’s anything wrong with t hat.

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            there is a whole lot wrong with that…the only nail polish my man ever needs to be wearing is the kind that accidentally spilled on him while I was doing my nails sitting in his lap

            • Jen

              Amen! I can’t be walking around with no man fighting me for mirror space and bathroom time trying to be prettier than me.

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                that’s why I cant fux with Kappa’s

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                that’s why I cant fux with Kappa’s

              • Peyso

                hahahahahahahahahaha

              • Peyso

                hahahahahahahahahaha

            • Jen

              Amen! I can’t be walking around with no man fighting me for mirror space and bathroom time trying to be prettier than me.

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            there is a whole lot wrong with that…the only nail polish my man ever needs to be wearing is the kind that accidentally spilled on him while I was doing my nails sitting in his lap

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          “I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.”

          that’s probably b/c he’d be gay. or at least ubermetro and teetering on that line by wearing clear nail polish.

          not that there’s anything wrong with t hat.

        • temps

          “It wouldn’t work for men. Women would lose respect for any man that went around saying that he dates like a woman and likes the same things that a woman does only he has a penis. I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.”

          Thank you “Leila”…cause this is really one of those Women Only things aint nothing cool about men into foundation, facial skin care and booking appts for the spa..cant wait til this cross gender polanating thing is dead…all we need now is a chick to shoot up a school!

        • temps

          “It wouldn’t work for men. Women would lose respect for any man that went around saying that he dates like a woman and likes the same things that a woman does only he has a penis. I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.”

          Thank you “Leila”…cause this is really one of those Women Only things aint nothing cool about men into foundation, facial skin care and booking appts for the spa..cant wait til this cross gender polanating thing is dead…all we need now is a chick to shoot up a school!

      • Leila

        It wouldn’t work for men. Women would lose respect for any man that went around saying that he dates like a woman and likes the same things that a woman does only he has a penis. I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.

      • SouthernGirl

        lol. ok fine…”women.” but you weren’t as specific at the end and said “gender.” but you get my point.

      • SouthernGirl

        lol. ok fine…”women.” but you weren’t as specific at the end and said “gender.” but you get my point.

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        Uuuh, yeah, there is a difference.

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        Uuuh, yeah, there is a difference.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “i think you have a point though about people trying to date like the opposite sex usually meaning taking on the bad traits of that gender”

      lol…i specifically said “women” not “people” for a reason. this seems to be female-specific behavior

    • 8th Wonder

      “as for the question, i think doing anything that is not true to who you are is the disaster waiting to happen. be it trying to date like a man or trying to make something work when everything in your spirit is telling you that its wrong.”

      This is so true.

    • 8th Wonder

      “as for the question, i think doing anything that is not true to who you are is the disaster waiting to happen. be it trying to date like a man or trying to make something work when everything in your spirit is telling you that its wrong.”

      This is so true.

  • SouthernGirl

    as for the question, i think doing anything that is not true to who you are is the disaster waiting to happen. be it trying to date like a man or trying to make something work when everything in your spirit is telling you that its wrong. i think you have a point though about people trying to date like the opposite sex usually meaning taking on the bad traits of that gender. i know i can usually only go so far without getting attached to someone, IF that’s what i’m looking for as i’m more of a relationship girl but i have had a cut buddy here and there.

    actually, i’ve been told i’m a guy’s girl because i love basketball, know music/(real) hip hop, mob movies, video games and the like. and i can get real rowdy and cuss like a sailor if need be. but i think i balance things well because i’m also very feminine, makeup, hair done, etc. and the walk is mean in a good pair of heels,of which i have many. so maybe the point should be trying to find a balance…

  • http://loveandnappyness.blogspot.com love&nappiness

    a woman who openly states that she dates like a man is probably utilizing a defense mechanism which enables her to imagine she is more callous than she really is. she’s proving something to herself. this can be disastrous if the phase doesn’t run its course.

    the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel. fortunately few men have their guard up ;D – we do exist.

    • ForReal

      “a woman who openly states that she dates like a man is probably utilizing a defense mechanism which enables her to imagine she is more callous than she really is. she’s proving something to herself. this can be disastrous if the phase doesn’t run its course.”

      That’s some true ish right there. Nothing quite as sad as someone making a vehement proclamation that is really just a question that everyone around them knows the real answer to.

    • ForReal

      “a woman who openly states that she dates like a man is probably utilizing a defense mechanism which enables her to imagine she is more callous than she really is. she’s proving something to herself. this can be disastrous if the phase doesn’t run its course.”

      That’s some true ish right there. Nothing quite as sad as someone making a vehement proclamation that is really just a question that everyone around them knows the real answer to.

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      My name is Monk…and I endorse this comment.

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      My name is Monk…and I endorse this comment.

    • miss t-lee

      “the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel”

      Tee-hee!!!

    • miss t-lee

      “the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel”

      Tee-hee!!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      good comment for a (i think) first timer. welcome and sh*t

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        having trouble keeping track? Champy, don’t you keep a roster of all the players?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          i can’t help it. i get my rosters confused sometimes.

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            are you saying that some VSBers are on another of your rosters?

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            are you saying that some VSBers are on another of your rosters?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          i can’t help it. i get my rosters confused sometimes.

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        having trouble keeping track? Champy, don’t you keep a roster of all the players?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      good comment for a (i think) first timer. welcome and sh*t

    • shay

      shake hands with your partner

    • shay

      shake hands with your partner

    • hey.

      “the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel. fortunately few men have their guard up ;D – we do exist.”

      Amen and Awoman.

    • hey.

      “the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel. fortunately few men have their guard up ;D – we do exist.”

      Amen and Awoman.

  • http://loveandnappyness.blogspot.com love&nappiness

    a woman who openly states that she dates like a man is probably utilizing a defense mechanism which enables her to imagine she is more callous than she really is. she’s proving something to herself. this can be disastrous if the phase doesn’t run its course.

    the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel. fortunately few men have their guard up ;D – we do exist.

  • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

    Who the heezy is Megan Fox? I mean, should I actually know?

    And what able-minded woman would want to be ANYTHING like a man?? Seriously…I hate hearing crap like that. Why would any woman want to deny and denounce their sensible moon goddess, earth mother status to be like a dude?

    Ilk. Blech. Yuck.

    • SouthernGirl

      And what able-minded woman would want to be ANYTHING like a man??

      lol. true.

      she’s that chick in the transformers movie. i had NO idea who she was until then and have no idea what she’s done since.

    • SouthernGirl

      And what able-minded woman would want to be ANYTHING like a man??

      lol. true.

      she’s that chick in the transformers movie. i had NO idea who she was until then and have no idea what she’s done since.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      i have a vague idea of who megan fox is…maybe you should google her

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        Champ quotes her as hanging out w/her dude playing video games and watching movies most of the time.

        I’ll pass on googling her. She seems like a bubblehead.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          lol

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          lol

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        Champ quotes her as hanging out w/her dude playing video games and watching movies most of the time.

        I’ll pass on googling her. She seems like a bubblehead.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      i have a vague idea of who megan fox is…maybe you should google her

    • puff

      “Why would any woman want to deny and denounce their sensible moon goddess, earth mother status to be like a dude?”

      i love you! *lighting incense and turning ferns in north corner of bedroom counter clockwise 7 times while chanting in amharic*

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        Puff totally gets it.

        I think I’ll burn incense and chant along w/you, Puff. And toss up some glitter for good measure.

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

          girl, just go’head and splash diva dust all over everything

        • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

          girl, just go’head and splash diva dust all over everything

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        Puff totally gets it.

        I think I’ll burn incense and chant along w/you, Puff. And toss up some glitter for good measure.

    • puff

      “Why would any woman want to deny and denounce their sensible moon goddess, earth mother status to be like a dude?”

      i love you! *lighting incense and turning ferns in north corner of bedroom counter clockwise 7 times while chanting in amharic*

    • Raqi

      I agree. I love being a woman, acting like a woman, feeling and thinking like a woman. And wouldn’t want to change that for anything, no matter what.

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        Isn’t it grand? And I’m not even a woman that’s always done up in heels and dressy dresses. But goodness gracies, I love being a girl.

        • Raqi

          BEING A GIRLS RAWK!!!

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            to quote my 6 and 7 year old neices…Girls rule, boys drool

            • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

              This is why I prefer the company of children. They say some of the best stuff.

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                and most of the times they tellin the truth

              • Intellectual Hedonist

                and most of the times they tellin the truth

            • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

              This is why I prefer the company of children. They say some of the best stuff.

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            to quote my 6 and 7 year old neices…Girls rule, boys drool

        • Raqi

          BEING A GIRLS RAWK!!!

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        Isn’t it grand? And I’m not even a woman that’s always done up in heels and dressy dresses. But goodness gracies, I love being a girl.

      • genius khan

        its the Raq!

        “I agree. I love being a woman, acting like a woman, feeling and thinking like a woman. And wouldn’t want to change that for anything, no matter what.”

        my fantasy adultery team.

        whispers to PBG…

        • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

          uh oh.

          • genius khan

            fret not PBG, no need for uh oh’s.

          • genius khan

            fret not PBG, no need for uh oh’s.

        • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

          uh oh.

      • genius khan

        its the Raq!

        “I agree. I love being a woman, acting like a woman, feeling and thinking like a woman. And wouldn’t want to change that for anything, no matter what.”

        my fantasy adultery team.

        whispers to PBG…

    • Raqi

      I agree. I love being a woman, acting like a woman, feeling and thinking like a woman. And wouldn’t want to change that for anything, no matter what.

    • miss t-lee

      Who the heezy is Megan Fox?

      ctfu…ask a 2520 dude…he’ll know exactly who she is…lol

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        Yet more evidence as to why I will go on and skip knowing/caring about who this Fox chick is.

      • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

        Yet more evidence as to why I will go on and skip knowing/caring about who this Fox chick is.

    • miss t-lee

      Who the heezy is Megan Fox?

      ctfu…ask a 2520 dude…he’ll know exactly who she is…lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      honestly, i had no idea who she was either, until she showed up on the cover of my new GQ.

      the pic, ummm, served its purpose

      • miss t-lee

        *side eye* lol

      • miss t-lee

        *side eye* lol

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        did you use lotion, vaseline, or nothing at all?

        • 8th Wonder

          IH, why?

          whyyyyyyy?

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            8th, I’m sorry did I say something bad?

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            8th, I’m sorry did I say something bad?

        • 8th Wonder

          IH, why?

          whyyyyyyy?

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        did you use lotion, vaseline, or nothing at all?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      honestly, i had no idea who she was either, until she showed up on the cover of my new GQ.

      the pic, ummm, served its purpose

    • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

      she is the chick from Transformers. I wonder how many sets of balls she held to get that title? I know women in real life that I’d squirt on before her.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “she is the chick from Transformers. I wonder how many sets of balls she held to get that title? I know women in real life that I’d squirt on before her.”

        i’m just amazed that this comment got past moderation, lol

        • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

          Wow!! Too Funny!!

        • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

          Wow!! Too Funny!!

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

          squirt aint a bad word. you gotta b creative with your profanity.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “squirt aint a bad word”

            definitely a t-shirt

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “squirt aint a bad word”

            definitely a t-shirt

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

          squirt aint a bad word. you gotta b creative with your profanity.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “she is the chick from Transformers. I wonder how many sets of balls she held to get that title? I know women in real life that I’d squirt on before her.”

        i’m just amazed that this comment got past moderation, lol

    • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

      she is the chick from Transformers. I wonder how many sets of balls she held to get that title? I know women in real life that I’d squirt on before her.

  • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

    Who the heezy is Megan Fox? I mean, should I actually know?

    And what able-minded woman would want to be ANYTHING like a man?? Seriously…I hate hearing crap like that. Why would any woman want to deny and denounce their sensible moon goddess, earth mother status to be like a dude?

    Ilk. Blech. Yuck.

  • Jen

    DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN.

    Worse than “dating like men” is “having sex like men.”

    Know why men can date and have sex like men? Because they lack cervices and uteri. NEWSFLASH TO WOMEN: when YOU have sex/date like men, you’re not liberated. You’re not sexy. You’re not free. You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer.

    The truth hurts.

    • puff

      “You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer. ”

      cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold blooded

    • puff

      “You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer. ”

      cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold blooded

    • southernabelle

      dammmn Jen.. you said that and ish…ditto

    • southernabelle

      dammmn Jen.. you said that and ish…ditto

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      That is one DANK and MOLDY blanket right thurr!

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        you and your blankets! lol…luvvie, you a mess.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        you and your blankets! lol…luvvie, you a mess.

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        tee hee hee… that blanket gets me everytime…

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        tee hee hee… that blanket gets me everytime…

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      That is one DANK and MOLDY blanket right thurr!

    • aja

      Dayum..thanks for keeping it real.

    • aja

      Dayum..thanks for keeping it real.

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      “NEWSFLASH TO WOMEN: when YOU have sex/date like men, you’re not liberated. You’re not sexy. You’re not free. You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer.

      The truth hurts.”

      I recognize the truth in this statement but for some reason, it’s funny as hell to me…LOL!!

      • miss t-lee

        I recognize the truth in this statement but for some reason, it’s funny as hell to me…LOL!!

        Me 2…Jen laid it down…lol

        • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

          Indeed.

        • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

          Indeed.

      • miss t-lee

        I recognize the truth in this statement but for some reason, it’s funny as hell to me…LOL!!

        Me 2…Jen laid it down…lol

      • SouthernGirl

        i’m not big on random sex or dating like a man as i said earlier but…just to play devil’s advocate since this comment is aimed at women…isn’t the man who orginally does these things a slut as well?

        • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

          According to society’s standards, Not.So.Much.

          Privilege is a muthafugga.

        • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

          According to society’s standards, Not.So.Much.

          Privilege is a muthafugga.

        • Jen

          Sure. But, given the absence of cervices and uteri, does it matter for HIM the way it matters for HER? Think about babies, fertility impairment, risk of serious disease (cancer and HIV, paritcularly), emotional damage and even the least of these, social stigma.

          Hell no. Hence the high fiving, butt-slapping, dap-giving, cabbage-patching or whatever it is that men do to congratulate one another on being loose. It’s common.

          To contrast, if your girlfriends encourage you to be loose, they don’t give a d@mn about you or your health, are probably talking about your hot @$$ behind your back and you need to find new friends.

          • SouthernGirl

            i guess it’s just one of those things that annoy me even though i don’t do it.i know its common but that doesn’t make it right and its one of those things like every other gender bias. it will never end as long as people just accept it and gloss over it like, oh he’s a man so its ok. all their random banging can come back to haunt us as well. even the good girls.

            it might not matter for him the way it does for her as you say, BUT IT SHOULD. and to me, you are still a ho. hoes don’t know gender. and neither do diseases. they may not have the risk of cervical cancer or have a uterus but they are at risk as well. i’m not giving you a pass just because you are a man.

            • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

              Guys don’t get a pass Southern Girl, but because of basic physiology, women tend to be a greater risk for diseases and damages to our “parts”. The whole s3x/reproduction thing is just a bigger risk to US overall. That’s not gender bias. That’s biology and nature.

              • SouthernGirl

                I know that but I still don’t think it excuses men from their behavior. When I talk about gender bias I mean the way said behavior is perceived and accepted. And men do get a pass on that the majority of the time while women get branded as sluts.

              • SouthernGirl

                I know that but I still don’t think it excuses men from their behavior. When I talk about gender bias I mean the way said behavior is perceived and accepted. And men do get a pass on that the majority of the time while women get branded as sluts.

              • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

                So Southern Girl (I hear Frankie Beverly and Maze every time I type this…lol), what kind of things would you say to a teenage girl to attempt to help her get her mind right in this area? Knowing this society to be exactly what it is, what would be sound advice?

                And this is NO B.S. for me either, I really want to know. I have a girl-child at “that age” and so far I’ve been emphasizing self-esteem and making good choices for herself. Sometimes I wonder if that’s enough.

              • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

                So Southern Girl (I hear Frankie Beverly and Maze every time I type this…lol), what kind of things would you say to a teenage girl to attempt to help her get her mind right in this area? Knowing this society to be exactly what it is, what would be sound advice?

                And this is NO B.S. for me either, I really want to know. I have a girl-child at “that age” and so far I’ve been emphasizing self-esteem and making good choices for herself. Sometimes I wonder if that’s enough.

              • SouthernGirl

                Lord, please don’t bring up Maze…lol. I just can’t escape that ish…but on a serious note…

                I really believe that emphasizing self-esteem and making good choices is really all you can do. Don’t underestimate that. Girls make better choices when they feel good about themselves. You can’t do it enough. I thank God for the confidence and self-esteem my mama instilled in me. I may have my moments but its taken me through so many hard times. Because at the core, I can always come back to that. And pray.

                My mother was always very honest with me (she had me when she was 19) and I just remember being that single mama kid and I know what that’s like. So on top of what my mama instilled in me, I just remember what that struggle can be like.

                I was always saddened by some of my female friends and how caught up they got in other girls’ opinions, peer pressure, etc. Just make sure she really knows and feels she can talk to you. She might not always do it, but make sure she knows she can. Don’t yell or judge her when she does come to you. Talk to her like she’s a person. Answer her questions honestly. I’ve seen it backfire. Use things you see in public or tv (young girls with kids, inappropriate behavior, etc) to start a conversation. My mama would do that or just start a talk with me about whatever and ask how I would handle the situation. Let her know what struggles you went through. And that the choices she makes today can impact her life forever. Let her see the impact of bad decisions.

                Don’t shy away from the realities of sex, drugs, peer pressure, etc. Tell her that unfortunately she will be judged by a different standard sexually, and while that may (righfully) give her more pause when determining her actions, everyone, both male and female should be cautious in the decisions they make. Girls especially as some men will unfortunately try to take advantage of her. Because while men may get the glory while women get reputations, it all comes back around in the end and that same man may later be cursing the choices he made. Tell her its ok to stand up for herself and make choices based on how she feels, not what the people around her want. And please tell her that her real friends or the people that care about her will stand by her.

                I’m sure you’re probably already doing these things but I really believe just talking honestly to your children can help. Sorry this was long.

              • SouthernGirl

                Lord, please don’t bring up Maze…lol. I just can’t escape that ish…but on a serious note…

                I really believe that emphasizing self-esteem and making good choices is really all you can do. Don’t underestimate that. Girls make better choices when they feel good about themselves. You can’t do it enough. I thank God for the confidence and self-esteem my mama instilled in me. I may have my moments but its taken me through so many hard times. Because at the core, I can always come back to that. And pray.

                My mother was always very honest with me (she had me when she was 19) and I just remember being that single mama kid and I know what that’s like. So on top of what my mama instilled in me, I just remember what that struggle can be like.

                I was always saddened by some of my female friends and how caught up they got in other girls’ opinions, peer pressure, etc. Just make sure she really knows and feels she can talk to you. She might not always do it, but make sure she knows she can. Don’t yell or judge her when she does come to you. Talk to her like she’s a person. Answer her questions honestly. I’ve seen it backfire. Use things you see in public or tv (young girls with kids, inappropriate behavior, etc) to start a conversation. My mama would do that or just start a talk with me about whatever and ask how I would handle the situation. Let her know what struggles you went through. And that the choices she makes today can impact her life forever. Let her see the impact of bad decisions.

                Don’t shy away from the realities of sex, drugs, peer pressure, etc. Tell her that unfortunately she will be judged by a different standard sexually, and while that may (righfully) give her more pause when determining her actions, everyone, both male and female should be cautious in the decisions they make. Girls especially as some men will unfortunately try to take advantage of her. Because while men may get the glory while women get reputations, it all comes back around in the end and that same man may later be cursing the choices he made. Tell her its ok to stand up for herself and make choices based on how she feels, not what the people around her want. And please tell her that her real friends or the people that care about her will stand by her.

                I’m sure you’re probably already doing these things but I really believe just talking honestly to your children can help. Sorry this was long.

            • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

              Guys don’t get a pass Southern Girl, but because of basic physiology, women tend to be a greater risk for diseases and damages to our “parts”. The whole s3x/reproduction thing is just a bigger risk to US overall. That’s not gender bias. That’s biology and nature.

            • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

              I am doing all these things! You’ve described my Mommy-style perfectly…I feel validated n’ shyt.

              Pish-posh @ it being a long reply. It was effective.

              Seriously, thank you, because sometimes in this whole “parenting” thing, I just need to hear somebody say I’m doing it right. You have made my entire week.

              *sprinkles glitter*

              • SouthernGirl

                You are seriously welcome. Glad I could help–that made ME feel good. Sometimes moms don’t get the credit they deserve and I know its hard. I am so grateful to my mom for helping me become the woman I am today. *hugs*

              • SouthernGirl

                You are seriously welcome. Glad I could help–that made ME feel good. Sometimes moms don’t get the credit they deserve and I know its hard. I am so grateful to my mom for helping me become the woman I am today. *hugs*

            • http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747670340&ref=name PBG

              I am doing all these things! You’ve described my Mommy-style perfectly…I feel validated n’ shyt.

              Pish-posh @ it being a long reply. It was effective.

              Seriously, thank you, because sometimes in this whole “parenting” thing, I just need to hear somebody say I’m doing it right. You have made my entire week.

              *sprinkles glitter*

          • SouthernGirl

            i guess it’s just one of those things that annoy me even though i don’t do it.i know its common but that doesn’t make it right and its one of those things like every other gender bias. it will never end as long as people just accept it and gloss over it like, oh he’s a man so its ok. all their random banging can come back to haunt us as well. even the good girls.

            it might not matter for him the way it does for her as you say, BUT IT SHOULD. and to me, you are still a ho. hoes don’t know gender. and neither do diseases. they may not have the risk of cervical cancer or have a uterus but they are at risk as well. i’m not giving you a pass just because you are a man.

        • Jen

          Sure. But, given the absence of cervices and uteri, does it matter for HIM the way it matters for HER? Think about babies, fertility impairment, risk of serious disease (cancer and HIV, paritcularly), emotional damage and even the least of these, social stigma.

          Hell no. Hence the high fiving, butt-slapping, dap-giving, cabbage-patching or whatever it is that men do to congratulate one another on being loose. It’s common.

          To contrast, if your girlfriends encourage you to be loose, they don’t give a d@mn about you or your health, are probably talking about your hot @$$ behind your back and you need to find new friends.

      • SouthernGirl

        i’m not big on random sex or dating like a man as i said earlier but…just to play devil’s advocate since this comment is aimed at women…isn’t the man who orginally does these things a slut as well?

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      “NEWSFLASH TO WOMEN: when YOU have sex/date like men, you’re not liberated. You’re not sexy. You’re not free. You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer.

      The truth hurts.”

      I recognize the truth in this statement but for some reason, it’s funny as hell to me…LOL!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer. ”

      lol…for whatever reason, this seems like something ron burgandy would have said in “anchorman”

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer. ”

      lol…for whatever reason, this seems like something ron burgandy would have said in “anchorman”

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      “The truth hurts”

      Yes it does. That’s a heavy price to pay though. Isn’t it something like 8 out of 10 women who will contract HPV (the cause of CC) in their lifetime. So i guess the theory is the slu#ts won’t be able to ward off the more cancerous strains.

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      “The truth hurts”

      Yes it does. That’s a heavy price to pay though. Isn’t it something like 8 out of 10 women who will contract HPV (the cause of CC) in their lifetime. So i guess the theory is the slu#ts won’t be able to ward off the more cancerous strains.

  • Jen

    DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN.

    Worse than “dating like men” is “having sex like men.”

    Know why men can date and have sex like men? Because they lack cervices and uteri. NEWSFLASH TO WOMEN: when YOU have sex/date like men, you’re not liberated. You’re not sexy. You’re not free. You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer.

    The truth hurts.

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