getting the gift: life’s five best unexpected rewards

rewards

while we all know that life is like a box of chocolates, everyone has a moment or two when it seems like that chocolate box is filled with catsh*t, especially in the TET (ms. smart, 2008). to deal with our trials and tribulations, life has a way of giving us unexpected rewardssimple daily smiles that can easily turn a melancholy day to mediocre, and a mediocre day to magnificent.

as another example of vsb.com’s crime-fighting commitments, here are five of the champ’s favorite.

1. free food

while pearly gates, endless bliss, and easy white women sound plenty enticing, my idea of heaven is an endless loop of a “hey, everybody; don’t worry about lunch. i ordered some pizza, wings, and beer” message from the boss during a staff meeting on one of those end of the month thursdays when your checking account is asking “if i cut the pink off the two week old mystery pasta in the breakroom fridge, i wont get sick, right?“.

(btw, by “the boss” i totally meant “stacey dash”. this is heaven, right?)

2. finding money

whether its on the ground, in your coat pocket, or a forgotten about revenue stream from the t-shirts you sell on your website, there aren’t many things better than finding unexpected money in an unexpected place.

sh*t, just last week i cheesed for an hour after finding a dollar in the trunk of my truck and cried for another hour after getting rebuffed at the wendy’s drive thru for being six cents short for a junior bacon cheeseburger

3. a compliment from a stranger

after getting home after a particularly rough day at work a couple months ago, i walked a couple blocks to the walnut street shopping district to window shop and clear my head when a somewhat milfy middle aged woman complimented me, saying that my “glasses were nice”. who cares that she may have been homeless and that there’s a good chance she actually said “the masses have lice!”, it made me happy, and that’s all that really counts.

4. randomly seeing an extremely physically attractive person

even those in purgatory serious committed relationships can still appreciate and acknowledge the unexpected potential mood boost of accidentally seeing a dime in line at pepboys or behind the counter at popeyes. you don’t have to own the land to appreciate the view.

5. finding something on the sales rack that actually fits

because of my waist (36), shirt (l or xl), and shoe (12) sizes, finding something on sale that actually fits me is harder than roman polanski watching degrassi high. seriously, its like deals at men’s clothing stores are only for midgets and men built like dejuan blair. i’m usually so surprised to find something that fits that i assume there’s something wrong with it, a phenomenon which usually ends with me just staring at a pair of jeans for fifteen minutes like it’s actually going to say “yeah, n*gga; you don’t wanna buy me. my right leg is longer than my left and my crotch area itches worse than courtney love. leave my skinny ass on the rack. wait…why the hell is your black ass in h&m anyway??

thats it for now. people of vsb.com, did i miss anything, and when was the last time you got one of life’s unexpected rewards?

the carpet is yours and sh*t

—the champ

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    * An invitation to travel to another country…on someone else’s dime.
    * A call from my mom saying ‘I’ve got some left over red beans and rice.”
    * Running into an ex on a ‘cute’ day and having them say ‘you look good’ half a dozen times in a 5 minute span
    * Random calls at work from my nephews who just called to say ‘I love you’. :)

    • A-Town Genius

      @V.E.G.,

      Do people invite you to other countries and offer to pay often… cause if it does I envy you more than my typed out words could ever convey

      And unexpected food is on my list… especially from mom

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G. from Albuquerque

        @A-Town Genius,

        Not often. But it has happened.

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @V.E.G. from Albuquerque,

          Not often??? YOU LIE! (c) J. Wilson

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G. from Albuquerque

            @Luvvie,

            It does not happen often. Every now and then…

    • Miss Patterson

      @V.E.G., if you know anyone who wants to sponsor me on a trip to Spain, Portugal & Germany, let me know. ;)

    • charli skipp

      @V.E.G.,
      running into an ex on a cute day while you’re in a hurry and he’s all dumbfounded is always an unexpected reward.

      as far as travelling to other countries on somebody else’s dime….um…..can’t really relate. but not mad at cha! lol

    • SunEone

      @V.E.G.,

      “Running into an ex on a ‘cute’ day and having them say ‘you look good’ half a dozen times in a 5 minute span” ….I absolutely love it! I would love for that to happen everyday.

      Champ…You got me on the “one of those end of the month thursdays when your checking account is asking “if i cut the pink off the two week old mystery pasta in the breakroom fridge, i wont get sick, right?“

      Your checking account is nice! Mine tells me that I need to go on a diet!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @SunEone,

        my checking account isn’t nice. it just has really nonchalant sarcastic jokes. sometimes when i check my balance, it’ll just look at me and say “you have jokes”

        welcome and sh*t, btw.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @V.E.G.,

      * Random calls at work from my nephews who just called to say ‘I love you’.

      i get these too, except instead of “i love you” its “uncle champ, can you give me a ride to buffalo this weekend?”

  • Leila

    I co-sign on your whole list! #1 is my favorite. Last weekend, I went to dinner and a friend unexpectedly picked up the tab for all 4 of us. Can’t beat that:)

    Other ones that I like:
    - Free Drink: I went to my favorite lounge a couple of weeks ago when the bartender tapped me on the shoulder and said that a man wanted to buy me a drink and said that I could get anything I wanted. At first, I thought it was a joke and then I saw the man at the end of the bar and he smiled. It was a nice gesture.
    - Working with Kids: After working in corporate america forever, I wanted to start working in the community more and joined with a mentoring program with the YMCA. I have 3 mentees and working with them has definitely brought out the kid side in me again especially seeing how excited they are by going to college and take life so easy.
    - Nature: This might sound corny, but sometimes nature itself is a big reward. I moved to the Seattle last year from NY and get amazed by how beautiful the scenery is. I was walking down the street recently by the lake and saw the most beautiful sunset that I’ve ever seen. It was setting in front of the mountains and it was quite breathtaking.

    • Me fail english?

      @Leila,

      “It was setting in front of the mountains ”

      Haha. I’m tryna imagine how this is possible. But yeah, whenever I leave town Im pleasantly shocked at what a pretty environment people enjoy everyday outside the city. Last summer my sister and I were driving through Georgia. We had to stop and pull over to the side of the highway to take pictures of the trees. They were these tall, pretty, red-barked conifers. Like nothing I’d ever seen. And don’t get me started on my time in Maui.

      • IVR

        @Me fail english?, “Haha. I’m tryna imagine how this is possible. But yeah, whenever I leave town Im pleasantly shocked at what a pretty environment people enjoy everyday outside the city.”

        Ehhhh . .. it gets old . . . I lived in Alaska for 4 years (2004-2008) and those mountains were amazing the first 6-7 months . . . after being boxed in by those creatures for 4 years . . .I’ll take a skyscraper LoL

    • http://www.myspace.com/sanen85 SaneN85

      @Leila, I have been living in Seattle most of my life, and have to admit that I take the beauty of the Northwest for granted.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Leila,

      - Free Drink: I went to my favorite lounge a couple of weeks ago when the bartender tapped me on the shoulder and said that a man wanted to buy me a drink and said that I could get anything I wanted. At first, I thought it was a joke and then I saw the man at the end of the bar and he smiled. It was a nice gesture

      if i were a woman sh*t like this would scare the sh*t out of me. btw, starting a sentence with “if i were a woman” if 27 percent gay

  • Lili

    “and cried for another hour after getting rebuffed at the wendy’s drive thru for being six cents short for a junior bacon cheeseburger”

    ^^$0.06 short, huh? Yea…that tax will get ya every time.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Lili,

      is it wrong to use the charity change sitting on the counter for the 6 cent tax?

      • Lili

        @The Champ,

        YES. I have never had the cajones to do that.

  • http://www.mistymays.com Misty Mays

    Simply put Life is the gift that keeps on giving. Good work I will keep watching your blog.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @Misty Mays,

      “Life is the gift that keeps on giving”

      So is THE HERP

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com BlackBerry Molasses

        @Luvvie,

        iHate that iLove you. Really. I mean that.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Misty Mays,

      welcome and sh*t. i’ll keep watching your, ummm, blog too.

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    Finding a decent pack of meat in the grocery store discounted… sometimes a sista want a steak on her unemployment budget… Go Meat!

    • charli skipp

      @Naturally Alise,
      I said a beef hot links. I said a beef hot links!!

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @charli skipp,

        HAHA!

        *dap*

    • Peysonic Temple

      @Naturally Alise,
      I dont know if I’m trusting discounted meat but hey thats just me

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Naturally Alise,

      ***leaving comment alone, since anything reply typed would be at least 45 percent gay***

  • http://www.myspace.com/igotastory melekaj

    to piggyback on #3, compliments from kids are awesome 2. The other day my 7 year old niece noticed a blemish on my face and touched it and said ” awww, it’s ok I still Love you” and gave me a hug. Translation from zaria speak? She meant that i was still pretty. *Major beam from me after that*

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @melekaj, That was so sweet.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @melekaj,

      this was sweet and sh*t

  • Miss Patterson

    1. Receiving letters in the mail. Letter writing is a lost art, so it’s always nice to receive a letter over an email from a friend or family member.
    2. I like it when my boss takes the initiative and I don’t have to collect mucus samples from patients at work.
    3. Unexpected reimbursement checks that arrive in the mail.
    4. When my bus pulls up at the precise moment that I arrive at the bus stop, without me having to break a sweat.
    5. When Pandora plays the perfect rotation on my iPod.
    6. A perfect & affordable mani/pedi with a glossy shine, flawless edges and even coating. i miss nailworks in LA.

    • Miss Patterson

      one more…that i may regret saying now that i live on the east coast again.
      7) i really do love a white Christmas, and snowy winters in general. like when i was visiting the burgh last January- the city was covered in snow and it was gorgeous. :)

      • A-Town Genius

        @Miss Patterson,

        I do like when it snows here in Atlanta and it’s enough to actually stay for a couple days but I suppose that’s more because I know it won’t be here for long and I won’t have to deal with everything that comes with it… and when I was younger snow falling meant school was out whether it stuck or not we didn’t even get up to listen to the radio we knew school was out

        • Miss Patterson

          @A-Town Genius, i remember the first time it snowed in atlanta, when i was still living there. it was in 2001 and the whole city shut down after 1 inch of snowfall. i worked for a doctor at the time, and he actually canceled his clinic that day! gotta love that.

          • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

            @Miss Patterson,

            Yeah, if the weather man even hint about the possibility of snow here, folks make mad dashes to the grocery store and stock up as if they’re living in a bunker or something. Talk about a city shutting down.

            There can be excellent benefits to this happening though.

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally

          @A-Town Genius,

          I love when it snows here in Raleigh. It snowed on Inauguration Day, and gave me one more reason to stay home and celebrate. It was such a beautiful day….

    • Ivy St.

      @Miss Patterson,
      “3. Unexpected reimbursement checks that arrive in the mail.”

      YES! YES!
      The first time it happened I almost questioned what was going on. LOL! I didn’t even know how to accept the money.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Miss Patterson,

      2. I like it when my boss takes the initiative and I don’t have to collect mucus samples from patients at work.

      this was going to be on my list, but i edited it down to 5 from 200,105.

  • A-Town Genius

    1. Riding in the car or being out somewhere and hearing that one song I used to love but hadn’t listened to in a long while… For some reason more often than not this song I Get Around by Pac and I have no idea why

    2. Having someone make me laugh… and not normal laughter but genuine fall on the floor, cheeks and stomach hurting unable to speak laughter… might just be my favorite

    3. Scoring higher on a test than I anticipated

    4. The smile on a girls face when she really likes me… ya know before it all goes downhill

    5. Waking up in the middle of the night thinking it’s close to wake up time only to look at the clock and discover it’s only 2 and I can roll back over and get 5 more hours… on second thought this might be my favorite

    • Miss Patterson

      @A-Town Genius, great list. #5 is my favorite too.
      #4 is sweet and reminded me that the first kiss that follows is equally butterfly-inducing. ya know, before it all goes downhill. lol

      • A-Town Genius

        @Miss Patterson,

        Yeah everything about that initial time period when you are sitting around waiting for phone calls, dates, and kisses is great. When just the smile on her face seems to stop time makes it all worthwhile

    • http://sjeaspeaks.blogspot.com SexyCool

      @A-Town Genius,

      To your #1, for me, it’s usually anything by Goodie Mob – and most often – Get Rich to This!

      • A-Town Genius

        @SexyCool,

        Definitely anything from the Mob or Kast will make my day… especially if I’m out somewhere and I here myintrotoletuknow or soul food I’m good

    • http://lmbao.org Dorian G.

      @A-Town Genius,

      Number 5 could not possibly be more underrated

      • miss t-lee

        @Dorian G.,
        I agree…lol I do this at least 3 times a week.

        • Me fail english?

          @miss t-lee,

          Haha. I think I do this every weeknight between 4:45 and 5:10.

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

          @miss t-lee,
          “I do this at least 3 times a week.”

          Shiiidddd…lucky you. I’ve gotten stuck in a vicious cycle of waking up 5-10 minutes before the alarm is set to go off. That’s the WORSE feeling in the world knowing that you only have a few seconds left of slumber as oppose to some hours. FML.

          • miss t-lee

            @Monk,
            True…waking up 5 minutes before the alarm is pure torture.

          • Peysonic Temple

            @Monk,
            I like waking up 5 mins before the alarm. B/c trust i do turn over and get that last 5 mins that somehow felt like an hour. Recently, I’ve developed a habit of turning off the alarm when I do this and that sucks

          • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

            @Peysonic Temple,

            It doesn’t work for me cause I spend that whole time unconsciously counting down. My five minutes always feel like, well…five minutes.

          • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally

            @Monk,

            this is me. I wake up 5-10 minutes before the alarm every weekday. I would really love to be able to sleep through my alarm and hit the snooze button once. It really sucks…hard.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @Monk,

            yea, this is me too. i’ve actually started waking up a minute before the alarm. there has to be some way that this talent can make me some money

          • Ivy St.

            @ The Champ,

            “i’ve actually started waking up a minute before the alarm.there has to be some way that this talent can make me some money.”

            This is NOT a talent. It’s called Circadian Rhythm. We ALL have it. *smh*

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            @ivy st,

            Circadian deez

          • A-Town Genius

            @Monk,

            Yeah this is the opposite side of the coin and sadly it happens far more often. It’s terrible too cause I’ll try to sleep for the five minutes but can’t because of paranoia and end up sleeping 2 minutes and then getting up… true FML moment right there

        • A-Town Genius

          @miss t-lee,

          I envy you I might get this once a month if I’m lucky

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Dorian G.,

        YESSSS!!!

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @Dorian G.,

        LOL, I do this almost every night and each of those nights (especially Sunday night/Monday morning), I thank the heavens. It always FEELS like it’s ’bout to be time to wake up and then I look over and have 2 more hours to go (hell, even one)?! Blessed!

    • http://espn.com An Island

      @A-Town Genius

      “The smile on a girls face when she really likes me… ya know before it all goes downhill.”

      Well said. It’s a shame that expectations always give way to harsh reality.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @A-Town Genius,

      4. The smile on a girls face when she really likes me… ya know before it all goes downhill

      LOL

    • IVR

      @A-Town Genius, “5. Waking up in the middle of the night thinking it’s close to wake up time only to look at the clock and discover it’s only 2 and I can roll back over and get 5 more hours… on second thought this might be my favorite”

      ABSOLUTELY!

    • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

      @A-Town Genius, this was a really good list.

      • A-Town Genius

        @Reecie,

        Thanks Reecie

  • Kijuana

    I like this topic and co-sign with everything you said. Here’s a few more…

    1. A baby’s laugh. My brother and I were on the phone the other day and he was blowing into my nephew’s belly and his laugh was just the most adorable thing ever. I was feeling pretty bad that day but when he started to laugh, I instantly felt better.

    2. A phone call from an unexpected source. Sometimes hearing from one of your old friends is refreshing because you can get lost in someone else’s life for a while.

    3. A random gesture of kindness. I was at the grocery store the other day and this lady with a crying baby was in front of me with like her groceries for the month. I only had 3 items but was willing to wait understanding that she needed to get out before I did. She insisted that I go first and I was surprised by her kindness.

    That’s all for now.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Kijuana,

      2. A phone call from an unexpected source

      lol, this definitely depends on the source.

      • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

        @The Champ,

        *ring ring*
        Champ: Hello?
        Caller: Hey, it’s me, Tarnisha.
        Champ: Hey Tarnisha, damn, it’s been a while. . . like 9 months since I last saw you. What’s going on?
        Tarnisha: Oh, I’ve been good. Doing my thing, learning a lot about childcare, working hard, getting ready. . .
        Champ: Getting ready for that nursing program. . . yeah, I always did think you had a great head. . .
        Tarnisha: Oh Champ, you so crazy, but nah. Actually, I’m getting ready to have lil Champ.
        Champ:
        Tarnisah: Hello? Hello? Oh hell naw!

        *This is a transcript of an actual conversation. Only one name was changed.

  • AO aka It’s like yo’ Daddy told you

    Co-sign the list AND “you don’t have to own the land to appreciate the view.” may just be the t-shirt slogan of the ’09!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @AO aka It’s like yo’ Daddy told you,

      this is a shirt that should only be worn by women with big boobs

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. naturally

        @The Champ,

        So…when are you going to put these shirts on sale? That phrase would look great spread across my boobs.

        • AO aka It’s like yo’ Daddy told you

          @N.I.A. naturally,
          *trying to visualize that in e x p a n d e d font*

      • AO aka It’s like yo’ Daddy told you

        @The Champ,
        co-sign!!!