Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Theory & Essay

getting the gift: life’s five best unexpected rewards

rewards

while we all know that life is like a box of chocolates, everyone has a moment or two when it seems like that chocolate box is filled with catsh*t, especially in the TET (ms. smart, 2008). to deal with our trials and tribulations, life has a way of giving us unexpected rewardssimple daily smiles that can easily turn a melancholy day to mediocre, and a mediocre day to magnificent.

as another example of vsb.com’s crime-fighting commitments, here are five of the champ’s favorite.

1. free food

while pearly gates, endless bliss, and easy white women sound plenty enticing, my idea of heaven is an endless loop of a “hey, everybody; don’t worry about lunch. i ordered some pizza, wings, and beer” message from the boss during a staff meeting on one of those end of the month thursdays when your checking account is asking “if i cut the pink off the two week old mystery pasta in the breakroom fridge, i wont get sick, right?“.

(btw, by “the boss” i totally meant “stacey dash”. this is heaven, right?)

2. finding money

whether its on the ground, in your coat pocket, or a forgotten about revenue stream from the t-shirts you sell on your website, there aren’t many things better than finding unexpected money in an unexpected place.

sh*t, just last week i cheesed for an hour after finding a dollar in the trunk of my truck and cried for another hour after getting rebuffed at the wendy’s drive thru for being six cents short for a junior bacon cheeseburger

3. a compliment from a stranger

after getting home after a particularly rough day at work a couple months ago, i walked a couple blocks to the walnut street shopping district to window shop and clear my head when a somewhat milfy middle aged woman complimented me, saying that my “glasses were nice”. who cares that she may have been homeless and that there’s a good chance she actually said “the masses have lice!”, it made me happy, and that’s all that really counts.

4. randomly seeing an extremely physically attractive person

even those in purgatory serious committed relationships can still appreciate and acknowledge the unexpected potential mood boost of accidentally seeing a dime in line at pepboys or behind the counter at popeyes. you don’t have to own the land to appreciate the view.

5. finding something on the sales rack that actually fits

because of my waist (36), shirt (l or xl), and shoe (12) sizes, finding something on sale that actually fits me is harder than roman polanski watching degrassi high. seriously, its like deals at men’s clothing stores are only for midgets and men built like dejuan blair. i’m usually so surprised to find something that fits that i assume there’s something wrong with it, a phenomenon which usually ends with me just staring at a pair of jeans for fifteen minutes like it’s actually going to say “yeah, n*gga; you don’t wanna buy me. my right leg is longer than my left and my crotch area itches worse than courtney love. leave my skinny ass on the rack. wait…why the hell is your black ass in h&m anyway??

thats it for now. people of vsb.com, did i miss anything, and when was the last time you got one of life’s unexpected rewards?

the carpet is yours and sh*t

—the champ

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    * An invitation to travel to another country…on someone else’s dime.
    * A call from my mom saying ‘I’ve got some left over red beans and rice.”
    * Running into an ex on a ‘cute’ day and having them say ‘you look good’ half a dozen times in a 5 minute span
    * Random calls at work from my nephews who just called to say ‘I love you’. :)

    • A-Town Genius

      @V.E.G.,

      Do people invite you to other countries and offer to pay often… cause if it does I envy you more than my typed out words could ever convey

      And unexpected food is on my list… especially from mom

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G. from Albuquerque

        @A-Town Genius,

        Not often. But it has happened.

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @V.E.G. from Albuquerque,

          Not often??? YOU LIE! (c) J. Wilson

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G. from Albuquerque

            @Luvvie,

            It does not happen often. Every now and then…

          • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G. from Albuquerque

            @Luvvie,

            It does not happen often. Every now and then…

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

          @V.E.G. from Albuquerque,

          Not often??? YOU LIE! (c) J. Wilson

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G. from Albuquerque

        @A-Town Genius,

        Not often. But it has happened.

    • A-Town Genius

      @V.E.G.,

      Do people invite you to other countries and offer to pay often… cause if it does I envy you more than my typed out words could ever convey

      And unexpected food is on my list… especially from mom

    • Miss Patterson

      @V.E.G., if you know anyone who wants to sponsor me on a trip to Spain, Portugal & Germany, let me know. ;)

    • Miss Patterson

      @V.E.G., if you know anyone who wants to sponsor me on a trip to Spain, Portugal & Germany, let me know. ;)

    • charli skipp

      @V.E.G.,
      running into an ex on a cute day while you’re in a hurry and he’s all dumbfounded is always an unexpected reward.

      as far as travelling to other countries on somebody else’s dime….um…..can’t really relate. but not mad at cha! lol

    • charli skipp

      @V.E.G.,
      running into an ex on a cute day while you’re in a hurry and he’s all dumbfounded is always an unexpected reward.

      as far as travelling to other countries on somebody else’s dime….um…..can’t really relate. but not mad at cha! lol

    • SunEone

      @V.E.G.,

      “Running into an ex on a ‘cute’ day and having them say ‘you look good’ half a dozen times in a 5 minute span” ….I absolutely love it! I would love for that to happen everyday.

      Champ…You got me on the “one of those end of the month thursdays when your checking account is asking “if i cut the pink off the two week old mystery pasta in the breakroom fridge, i wont get sick, right?“

      Your checking account is nice! Mine tells me that I need to go on a diet!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @SunEone,

        my checking account isn’t nice. it just has really nonchalant sarcastic jokes. sometimes when i check my balance, it’ll just look at me and say “you have jokes”

        welcome and sh*t, btw.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @SunEone,

        my checking account isn’t nice. it just has really nonchalant sarcastic jokes. sometimes when i check my balance, it’ll just look at me and say “you have jokes”

        welcome and sh*t, btw.

    • SunEone

      @V.E.G.,

      “Running into an ex on a ‘cute’ day and having them say ‘you look good’ half a dozen times in a 5 minute span” ….I absolutely love it! I would love for that to happen everyday.

      Champ…You got me on the “one of those end of the month thursdays when your checking account is asking “if i cut the pink off the two week old mystery pasta in the breakroom fridge, i wont get sick, right?“

      Your checking account is nice! Mine tells me that I need to go on a diet!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @V.E.G.,

      * Random calls at work from my nephews who just called to say ‘I love you’.

      i get these too, except instead of “i love you” its “uncle champ, can you give me a ride to buffalo this weekend?”

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @V.E.G.,

      * Random calls at work from my nephews who just called to say ‘I love you’.

      i get these too, except instead of “i love you” its “uncle champ, can you give me a ride to buffalo this weekend?”

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    * An invitation to travel to another country…on someone else’s dime.
    * A call from my mom saying ‘I’ve got some left over red beans and rice.”
    * Running into an ex on a ‘cute’ day and having them say ‘you look good’ half a dozen times in a 5 minute span
    * Random calls at work from my nephews who just called to say ‘I love you’. :)

  • Leila

    I co-sign on your whole list! #1 is my favorite. Last weekend, I went to dinner and a friend unexpectedly picked up the tab for all 4 of us. Can’t beat that:)

    Other ones that I like:
    – Free Drink: I went to my favorite lounge a couple of weeks ago when the bartender tapped me on the shoulder and said that a man wanted to buy me a drink and said that I could get anything I wanted. At first, I thought it was a joke and then I saw the man at the end of the bar and he smiled. It was a nice gesture.
    – Working with Kids: After working in corporate america forever, I wanted to start working in the community more and joined with a mentoring program with the YMCA. I have 3 mentees and working with them has definitely brought out the kid side in me again especially seeing how excited they are by going to college and take life so easy.
    – Nature: This might sound corny, but sometimes nature itself is a big reward. I moved to the Seattle last year from NY and get amazed by how beautiful the scenery is. I was walking down the street recently by the lake and saw the most beautiful sunset that I’ve ever seen. It was setting in front of the mountains and it was quite breathtaking.

    • Me fail english?

      @Leila,

      “It was setting in front of the mountains ”

      Haha. I’m tryna imagine how this is possible. But yeah, whenever I leave town Im pleasantly shocked at what a pretty environment people enjoy everyday outside the city. Last summer my sister and I were driving through Georgia. We had to stop and pull over to the side of the highway to take pictures of the trees. They were these tall, pretty, red-barked conifers. Like nothing I’d ever seen. And don’t get me started on my time in Maui.

      • IVR

        @Me fail english?, “Haha. I’m tryna imagine how this is possible. But yeah, whenever I leave town Im pleasantly shocked at what a pretty environment people enjoy everyday outside the city.”

        Ehhhh . .. it gets old . . . I lived in Alaska for 4 years (2004-2008) and those mountains were amazing the first 6-7 months . . . after being boxed in by those creatures for 4 years . . .I’ll take a skyscraper LoL

      • IVR

        @Me fail english?, “Haha. I’m tryna imagine how this is possible. But yeah, whenever I leave town Im pleasantly shocked at what a pretty environment people enjoy everyday outside the city.”

        Ehhhh . .. it gets old . . . I lived in Alaska for 4 years (2004-2008) and those mountains were amazing the first 6-7 months . . . after being boxed in by those creatures for 4 years . . .I’ll take a skyscraper LoL

    • Me fail english?

      @Leila,

      “It was setting in front of the mountains ”

      Haha. I’m tryna imagine how this is possible. But yeah, whenever I leave town Im pleasantly shocked at what a pretty environment people enjoy everyday outside the city. Last summer my sister and I were driving through Georgia. We had to stop and pull over to the side of the highway to take pictures of the trees. They were these tall, pretty, red-barked conifers. Like nothing I’d ever seen. And don’t get me started on my time in Maui.

    • http://www.myspace.com/sanen85 SaneN85

      @Leila, I have been living in Seattle most of my life, and have to admit that I take the beauty of the Northwest for granted.

    • http://www.myspace.com/sanen85 SaneN85

      @Leila, I have been living in Seattle most of my life, and have to admit that I take the beauty of the Northwest for granted.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Leila,

      – Free Drink: I went to my favorite lounge a couple of weeks ago when the bartender tapped me on the shoulder and said that a man wanted to buy me a drink and said that I could get anything I wanted. At first, I thought it was a joke and then I saw the man at the end of the bar and he smiled. It was a nice gesture

      if i were a woman sh*t like this would scare the sh*t out of me. btw, starting a sentence with “if i were a woman” if 27 percent gay

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Leila,

      – Free Drink: I went to my favorite lounge a couple of weeks ago when the bartender tapped me on the shoulder and said that a man wanted to buy me a drink and said that I could get anything I wanted. At first, I thought it was a joke and then I saw the man at the end of the bar and he smiled. It was a nice gesture

      if i were a woman sh*t like this would scare the sh*t out of me. btw, starting a sentence with “if i were a woman” if 27 percent gay

  • Leila

    I co-sign on your whole list! #1 is my favorite. Last weekend, I went to dinner and a friend unexpectedly picked up the tab for all 4 of us. Can’t beat that:)

    Other ones that I like:
    – Free Drink: I went to my favorite lounge a couple of weeks ago when the bartender tapped me on the shoulder and said that a man wanted to buy me a drink and said that I could get anything I wanted. At first, I thought it was a joke and then I saw the man at the end of the bar and he smiled. It was a nice gesture.
    – Working with Kids: After working in corporate america forever, I wanted to start working in the community more and joined with a mentoring program with the YMCA. I have 3 mentees and working with them has definitely brought out the kid side in me again especially seeing how excited they are by going to college and take life so easy.
    – Nature: This might sound corny, but sometimes nature itself is a big reward. I moved to the Seattle last year from NY and get amazed by how beautiful the scenery is. I was walking down the street recently by the lake and saw the most beautiful sunset that I’ve ever seen. It was setting in front of the mountains and it was quite breathtaking.

  • Lili

    “and cried for another hour after getting rebuffed at the wendy’s drive thru for being six cents short for a junior bacon cheeseburger”

    ^^$0.06 short, huh? Yea…that tax will get ya every time.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Lili,

      is it wrong to use the charity change sitting on the counter for the 6 cent tax?

      • Lili

        @The Champ,

        YES. I have never had the cajones to do that.

      • Lili

        @The Champ,

        YES. I have never had the cajones to do that.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Lili,

      is it wrong to use the charity change sitting on the counter for the 6 cent tax?

  • Lili

    “and cried for another hour after getting rebuffed at the wendy’s drive thru for being six cents short for a junior bacon cheeseburger”

    ^^$0.06 short, huh? Yea…that tax will get ya every time.

  • http://www.mistymays.com Misty Mays

    Simply put Life is the gift that keeps on giving. Good work I will keep watching your blog.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @Misty Mays,

      “Life is the gift that keeps on giving”

      So is THE HERP

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com BlackBerry Molasses

        @Luvvie,

        iHate that iLove you. Really. I mean that.

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com BlackBerry Molasses

        @Luvvie,

        iHate that iLove you. Really. I mean that.

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      @Misty Mays,

      “Life is the gift that keeps on giving”

      So is THE HERP

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Misty Mays,

      welcome and sh*t. i’ll keep watching your, ummm, blog too.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Misty Mays,

      welcome and sh*t. i’ll keep watching your, ummm, blog too.

  • http://www.mistymays.com Misty Mays

    Simply put Life is the gift that keeps on giving. Good work I will keep watching your blog.

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    Finding a decent pack of meat in the grocery store discounted… sometimes a sista want a steak on her unemployment budget… Go Meat!

    • charli skipp

      @Naturally Alise,
      I said a beef hot links. I said a beef hot links!!

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @charli skipp,

        HAHA!

        *dap*

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @charli skipp,

        HAHA!

        *dap*

    • charli skipp

      @Naturally Alise,
      I said a beef hot links. I said a beef hot links!!

    • Peysonic Temple

      @Naturally Alise,
      I dont know if I’m trusting discounted meat but hey thats just me

    • Peysonic Temple

      @Naturally Alise,
      I dont know if I’m trusting discounted meat but hey thats just me

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Naturally Alise,

      ***leaving comment alone, since anything reply typed would be at least 45 percent gay***

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Naturally Alise,

      ***leaving comment alone, since anything reply typed would be at least 45 percent gay***

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    Finding a decent pack of meat in the grocery store discounted… sometimes a sista want a steak on her unemployment budget… Go Meat!

More Like This