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What do Ralph Tresvant, Babyface, and Young Buck have in common?
Well that’s easy. They’re all sensitive men. Young Rizzo devoted an entire song to being a sensitive man. Hell, he even provided the best adlib pre-Jeezy when he uttered, “Aww shuga no no no” at the end of the song. It was a true moment of brilliance on the part of the former New Edition front man.
Take that Johnny Gill.
And Babyface? Well let’s just say that he’s been writing songs from the sensitive man’s standpoint since the beginning. “Two Occasions” definitely wasn’t about two chicks he she-boing-boing-boinged on a seedy Cincinnati street. Nope, it’s about love.
Young Buck? Well he just decided to cry on a conversation with 50 Cent. Sure he was “confrused” and a grown man cries on occasion. But only a sensitive man will cry on a phone call in which he’s trying not to get dismembered from a crappy rap group where a man named Tony Yayo is a prominent contributor. You see, sensitive men cry when they get confrused.
So what does this all have to the with the price of tea in China? Nothing actually. For one, I actually have no clue what the price of tea IS in China. Though I assume tea must be really cheap just like Jordans. I hear that if you go straight to the sweat shop you can get a pair of brand new Jordans for like $3.50 or something.
Anyway, sensitive men have been around for eons. They’re always out there pining away for some woman and wearing their emotions on their sleeves. They’ll cry for you.
Hmm…that might not be such a good example because if you’ll remember Jodeci would also “Cry For You”. And well, K-Ci would also get you some crack and beat you too. So perhaps crying for you isn’t really the sign of a sensitive man so much as it’s the sign of a man who might get you addicted to that coca-in-a.
This all makes me wonder though, how sensitive is it okay for a grown ass man to be? For instance, if I get all sentimental and teary-eyed at say, The Lion King, does that make me a b*tch? Or does that just make me a man who’s in touch with his feelings like Keith Sweat in the late 80’s early 90’s.
I’ve heard women say they want a sensitive man before. They want a man who can talk to them about their feelings and provide meaningful insight. They’d like a man who’s not afraid to open up and show that he has feelings and emotions. And ultimately that he will listen to any and everything…giiiiiirl.
But they also don’t want a man who wants to spend all of his time talking about his feelings. Sometimes he needs to just man the fuck up; ya know, be the strong silent type. Honestly, I feel that most “sensitive” men are only doing it to get the drawz. Granted, I know how to share my feelings when appropriate but I’m not really sure I even know HOW to tap into my sensitive side which of course presupposes that I EVEN HAVE ONE. I share my feelings because I have feelings about something, not because I’m a sensitive man. But then again, maybe I don’t even KNOW I’m a sensitive man. And I don’t mean sensitive as a parallel to compassionate, I mean sensitive in terms of:
“girl, I can talk to Antoine about ANYTHING!”
I’m more interested in the other side of the coin…like when you hear:
“Yo ninja, why you being so DAMNED SENSITIVE!?”
So sensitive good people of VSB.com, my homies, just what is a sensitive man and at what point does a man step over the point of being sensitive to exhibiting true b*itchassness?
- VSB P AKA THE ARSONIST
I don’t think I have ever dated an overly sensitive man. Has someone I dated ever cried in front of me? Of course.
Tough one, because I don’t put manliness and sensitivity on the same continuum, so it’s hard to define where the buck stops. I can have a man who is not sensitive at all, but can not be a man in terms of stepping up and handling business. Or he could be really sensitive and STILL not be takin care of business.
I think a sensitive man is one who is attentive to emotions and details. It doesn’t mean he is crying with me at the movies. It doesn’t mean he never cries, either. Somewhere in the middle.
Hmm…ride the fence much?
I wonder if “Ride The Fence” is a porn title…
Way to attract the loonies for our google search hits here at VSB.com.
I am not riding the fence, either! I think such things are apples and oranges. I think Young Buck’s crying situation was mostly an issue because he goes around actin all hard as if he never cries, and you see he got all hemmed up and confrused on the phone. If I knew he were a Babyface type from jump, it wouldn’t have been as funny to me.
“Hmm…ride the fence much?
I wonder if “Ride The Fence” is a porn title…”
i dont know, but i know “ride the picket fence, b*tch” is
“Ride the Fence” a song by The Coup..underground rap..pretty good.
I just want my cambodian breast milk. That’s all. (smile)
True b*tchassness has nothing to do with a man’s level of sensitivity, as much as it has to do with a man who crumbles under pressure, who can’t make decisions, and who can’t feel anything–be it anger, sadness or frustration. Men that suppress their sensitivity to emotions typically don’t know what they want out of life, until what they don’t want slaps them in the face. And nobody wants a man who doesn’t know what he wants. I would assume that most men hold this same attitude towards women.
However, it would be nice though if he cried once at the end of When Harry Met Sally…i kid, i kid.
“However, it would be nice though if he cried once at the end of When Harry Met Sally…i kid, i kid.”
What about You Got Mail?
yes, You’ve Got Mail, Steel Magnolias, Rosewood, The Color Purple and during & after reading “Sula”.
Speaking of The Color Purple, do you know The Champ has NEVER seen this movie??? He never gets my obscure TCP jokes because he hasn’t seen it
I think we need a VSB Movie Night…
Gee, I thought I was the only Black American who hasn’t seen TCP in it’s entirety…go figure.
i order you to report to the vsb clubhouse and get in on that movie night. gheesh! what is the world coming to?
NOT YOU TOO!!!!!
You know I’ve seen most of it on TV, but I don’t think I’ve seen it all either. I don’t know what they’ve cut out.
I * have* however read the book and seen the musical.
you’re joking, right? unless he was born in 1984 he has no excuse. ya know what? he still has no excuse. Did he at least read the book? You and P need to make that movie night happen asap in your vsb clubhouse. I’m in shock. seriously? Wow…
“…I know’d there was a God” (i’m going to hell)
With all the quotes I’ve heard, I feel like I’ve seen it. Does THAT count? Plus, I’ve seen bits and pieces of it so I figured the cliff notes edition of actually watching the movie was enough.
However, what MAY be even worse is that I bought the DVD for a lady I was dating as a gift cause I knew that she liked it, but I never watched it with her.
Oh well…
yay, I finally have an excuse.
I don’t know what to do with this info! If nothing else, Champ (and others) should see the movie just so they get the context of the quotes. I know i hate it when people quote movies around me and I don’t know first hand what they’re talking about.
Yall are SERIOUS about getting off topic…lol.
but this is a serious problem. You haven’t seen the color purple in its entirety and we didn’t even ask you to read the book or spend the money to see the play. That is a sad sad thing. Although I’mma keep my mouth shut really b.c. I haven’t seen most of Roots.
My short list of Black Films and books you DON’T need to see/read:
1. Anything by Teri McMilan except for the movie “Waiting to Exhale”
2. Jazz by Toni Morrison (matta’ fact most of Toni Morrison’s novels are the same sh*t different characters– just read Sula and Bluest Eye and your good)
3. “True to the Game”, “Pimps up, Hoes down” and any other hood books (aka Hip-Hop Novels)
4. Any book written by Zane
5. The Movie adaptation of “Beloved”
6. If DMX is in the movie, leave it the f*ck alone.
Why did I make this list? ‘Cause I didn’t have sh*t else to do.
Great list and plz people put down those ghetto lit books they are crap: look at dude who wrote “Brooklyn’s Finest” starring Don Cheadle. It will be Micheal Martins’ FIRST Hollywood flick. He enters a screenwriting contest and didnt win but got the attn of Hollywood, so much he got the aforementioned Cheadle and Eathan Hawke co stars and Antoine “Man Up” Fuqua directs. Now MM did go to film school at Brooklyn College but didnt finish but he at least quit AFTER taking the film courses. Now can anyone name any ghetto lit book that has been or is already optioned to Hollywood BESIDES “Coldest WinterEver” (which has been so for a decaded now) . Note his salary for Brooklyns Finest is $200,000 and he got teh sequal to New Jack City…f them ghetoo lit books-or at least the style in which they are written.
Awww D*Stroy, I liked Jazz! I mean, I sometimes got the narrator confused, but I liked the premise. Why did this make the list??
I def agree on Zane tho…foolishness.
Precious,
LOL The narration was a real problem…I just found it to be far too disjointed to be enjoyable. Two thumbs down!
@ D*Stroy aka D*Pain~I’m going to need you not to encourage people of color to NOT to read…. ANYTHING WE READ is better than not reading. That is my public service announcement for that day
And the movie Waiting to Exhale really wasn’t the best T. McMillan piece, Stella was better than that
and if you ain’t got sh*t else to do, I have some filing that needs to be done.
i think everyone should choose a character and act it out . . .
@Intellectual Hedonist. Do you really think that reading anything is better than not reading? I have heard this before but if you haven’t had the misfortune of reading some of these hood-books… please do. Many of them are nothing more than hardcore porn that has been disguised as literature.
AND… you are right about Stella. It was better.
D*Stroy aka D*Pain~yes I do believe that reading anything is better than reading nothing. I have students in my classes that have never read the classics or some of our great black renaissance authors but have read some “hood books” and Zane, at least they are reading, maybe they will never have a love for reading like I do, but at least with every word they read it increases their language skill, writing skill, and literacy in general.
The level of skill will increase in tandem with the skill set of the source…practice with jordan you play like a beast…practice with Dude around the way who never had a jumper…you’d last two minutes in the NBA..I have read a few and cant see how you are increasing anything. Grammatical erros, mispellings, horrible and contrived plot lines, empty characters and endings that make Disney throw up
“2. Jazz by Toni Morrison”
it took me seven years to finish this book, which i think was ms. morrison’s intended purpose
i did finally sit down and watch the color purple in its entirety some time last year. it was a decent enough movie, but a bit too melodramatic for my tastes.
I still have gotten past page 9, **lowering head in shame** I have owned the book for at least 5 years.
“it was a decent enough movie, but a bit too melodramatic for my tastes.”
Champ, you’re fired. We all voted, so please pack your bags and leave the site.
““it was a decent enough movie, but a bit too melodramatic for my tastes.”
Champ, you’re fired. We all voted, so please pack your bags and leave the site.”
what…? so you’re telling me it wasn’t melodramatic???
Actually, I’m with The Champ here. In fact, I think The Color Purple was more of a comedy than anything else. A comedy wrapped up in melodrama. To hell with all the “issues” presented in it. That joint was just funny.
The Color Purple was funny?!
wow…just…wow.
havent seen You Got Mail or When Harry Met Sally.
Rosewood made me want to punch innocent whiteys
I never understood the hype around the Color Purple. Its overrated. I wanted my time back after watching that. My life would’ve been fine had I remained ignorant of that movie.
Deviant,
“Ving Rhames was hard as shit for that. He broke a noose with his neck. That shit made up for what he did in Holiday Heart (another movie I would be better off ignroant of)”
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my all-time funniest comment of the day! LOL!!!!! HOLIDAY HEART!!!!
Ving really f-ed up with that one….. Oh my god I can’t stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!!!!!!
Wait a minute, now I get PISSED at Rosewood, but it’s never made me cry.
Not that this has any relevance… but I love the part when they hang Ving Rames’ @ss and he breaks the rope with just his neck strength… That reminds me of some sh*t I’d do…well not really but it’s some shit I’d like to do if the klan strung me up against my will.
D*stroy…i’m with you on Zane, Terry McMillan and Jazz. I actually forced myself to read Zane last year…I wrote a critical paper on terrible romance literature. It pained me to finish that book. It was like reading bad porn.
Ving Rhames was hard as shit for that. He broke a noose with his neck. That shit made up for what he did in Holiday Heart (another movie I would be better off ignroant of)
some dude took me to see rosewood on a date when it first came out and i cried for like 10 minutes while the credits rolled. it really killed the date vibe…as a matter of fact the whole movie killed the date vibe. that was the equivalent of taking someone on a date to see Schlinder’s List…bad move.
You know…I totally agree with this. I remember in undergrad, a couple of my friends were trying to hook me up with this chick I had my eye on. So we all went to the movies to kind of get us to break the ice…
We went to see Bamboozled. Needless to say, I never did really get a chance to holler b/c that movie killed all conversation on the way out. I just wanted to go home and hug my momma because I just felt cold.
I saw Million Dollar Baby on a first date a couple of years ago…it totally blew the mood.
As a filmmaker myslef (myspace.comeny filmworks) I’d say never go to a movie on a first date, and if you do COMEDY people COMEDY. Who the hell wants to hear about your opinions on 3rd world politics or histotrical racial events and how they pertain to issue “right now” and I dont even know your last name?
“some dude took me to see rosewood on a date when it first came out and i cried for like 10 minutes while the credits rolled. it really killed the date vibe…as a matter of fact the whole movie killed the date vibe. that was the equivalent of taking someone on a date to see Schlinder’s List…bad move.
a friend of mine once took a first date to see fahrenheit 911, and apparently the date ended with her crying tears of anger.
im no expert in dating, but i think “tears of anger” usually isnt a good thing to happen
perhaps a friday future blog? movies not to take a date to/or movies that kill the mood
*duly noted*
you got mail sucked monkey balls (i hate meg ryan) and when harry met sally was only enjoyable to me when i was hepped up on female hormones (via the evil bc known as orthotricyclin).
“I would assume that most men hold this same attitude towards women.”
True.
“I just want my cambodian breast milk” WHAT!!!!
I have no idea where this “cambodian breast milk” comes from so I had to googled it and realized that it comes from Dave Chappelle’s show (which I never got into because it was on while I was in grad school and I really wasnt watching tv at the time) so I feel like I missed out on so much ~ not really
Oh but you have…that cambodian breast milk shit was hilarious.
It’s where we found out that Dylan was the best rapper ever.
“It’s where we found out that Dylan was the best rapper ever.”
not just 1st, but 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th
Well, I don’t neccessarily equate being sensitive as being “in touch with your feminine side”. I think sensitivity is moreso a human trait that just so happens to show up mostly in women. Hell, I even cried when I watched “E.T.”, but then again I was SIX. But hey, I’ve shed a tear or two on flicks in recent years also. Don’t mean to re-visit the Carl Thomas post but sometimes, I can be “emotional”, ya know.
I think there should be set aside times when it’s definitely OK for a man to cry such as death of a loved one, in church if they’re really feeling the message, or if you’ve invested a huge amount of energy and effort into something and you have to chalk it up as an ‘L’. That could be a relationship, business/money venture, championship game if you’re an athlete *T.O. just popped into my head..lol*, or whatever.
I’ve cried upon all those examples, for the record.
When ladies are involved in relationships when the guy is ALWAYS crying, he’s pretty much a momma’s boy OR, in need of pyschiatric treatment OR, just need his boys to listen in on one of his conversations where he’s ‘letting it all out’ and let them bust his balls about it.
Problem Solved.
@Monk. “I think there should be set aside times when it’s definitely OK for a man to cry such as death of a loved one, in church if they’re really feeling the message, or if you’ve invested a huge amount of energy and effort into something and you have to chalk it up as an ‘L’. That could be a relationship, business/money venture, championship game if you’re an athlete *T.O. just popped into my head..lol*, or whatever.”
So what you are saying is, it’s okay for men to cry. Most people cry out of frustration and to me, there is nothing wrong with crying. Like my man Lyfe Jennings said:”it’s like taking your soul to the laundrymat”
Yeah, see, I think it’s okay for a man to cry…for a good reason. But hell, isn’t a “good” reason in the eye of the beholder – much like beauty? Hell, you can justify anything.
I don’t think its about the “right time” at all. Crying is healthy. I would argue that a woman crying all the time is just as scary and worrisome as a man crying all the time. Anyone, regardless of gender, who’s feelings are so on the surface has issues. THat we see them as different is nothing more than gendered socialization.
I feel you, T. But it would seem to me that this entire topic is a commentary on gender construction and how relevant these archaic understandings of manhood are today.
To me…because the social perception of masculinity limits the way in which a man expresses his emotions (ie crying), men HAVE TO subscribe to these standards, or else they jeopardize their social standings and can be relegated to b*tchassness.
Without getting into a dissertation, I guess I’m saying that we shouldn’t underestimate the importance and profound impact of gender construction/socialization on the evolution of humanity. The understandings of gender spawned from physical aptitude; and although this began hundreds of thousands of years ago, you have to ask “do the gender of roles of old still have relevance?” and “what would the impact be if all men and women were identical in behavior?”
Am I the only one excited by the whole thesis there sounding so educational ending in bitchassness? Fantastic
and after all my logic and my theory
I add a mothafucka so you ignant niggas hear me
@ willnotbetelevised…
you are NOT alone in that one…I was smiling the whole time I read this!!
feeling the “zealots” quote too…(circa last week)…
See – I disagree. I don’t think we have to do anything.
I think we shirk our duty to men and women when we don’t resist and confront sexism. Sure, it’s not easy. Nothing is.
I think that you raise a good point. Removing power from the way we gender behavior is not about people beign equal so much as it is about removing value judgments from people’s different.
To wit, black vernacular should be legitimized because in doing so it does two things: 1) removes the inherent value placed on standard American English and 2) recognizes the fact that black vernacular is an established dialect of American English.
My point here is to say that equality is not always important as equity. Meaning that difference does exist and those differences should be acknowledged without judgment.
In a perfectly non-sexist world men and women would behave on a spectrum of emotion that would carry no judgement other than whether or not it is healthy (healthy in the purely denotative sense of the word).
@ D~I echo your thesis topic . As I started to read most of the responses, it occurred to me that I base how my man should be a man on how my dad was/is a man.
Monk’s comment also struck a chord with me, “death of a loved one, in church if they’re really feeling the message, or if you’ve invested a huge amount of energy and effort into something and you have to chalk it up as an ‘L’. That could be a relationship, business/money venture, championship game if you’re an athlete”
I forgot what athlete it was (Tiger Woods maybe when he won his first Master’s?) that was criticized for openly weeping, not crying WEEPEING. While I saw nothing wrong with that. Just like I saw nothing wrong with MJ crying when the Bulls won the first title after his father had died. I also think that its ok for men to embrace (and not that chest bump embrace but a full front embrace, I think this is purely cultural though) and not have to say “no-homo” or some other bull shyte to assert their masculinity.
My definition of what a man is and should be is based on my personal experience of seeing my dad. So I know the whole socialization and learning gender roles plays a part in it. However I also know I don’t want my man to cry at the drop of a hat or even more than I do, “according to a study of over 300 adults, on average men cry once every month, and women cry at least five times per month[5], especially before and during the menstrual cycle when crying can increase up to 5 times the normal rate, often without obvious reason such as depression or sadness. ” (Wikipeida retrieved June 30, 2008 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying) or even as much as this study says, because I don’t cry this much.
I think the first time I saw my dad cry was at my grandfather’s funeral (his father in law) when I was in high school, and the only other time was when he was teaching me self defense moves. (another story for another day).
Suffice to say, our indoctrination of our gender roles and how we were raised culturally and through our environment (our nurturing) have a lot to do with what we accept as masculine or feminine traits. Crying is one of those things that men are not encouraged to do, even when they are hurt, and for the most part admonished for.
@ Tyler…here you go w/ this smart ish again…lol…
I think wearing your heart on your sleeves is unhealthy, it’s just as unhealthy as swallowing your feelings whole and allwoing them to manifest in physically (ie…champ’s allusion to nexium use as a reult of diplomacy abuse)…there is a balance that must be had for men and women…and while socializing (conditioning) play the biggest role is b*tchass-ians…enablers of said counter productive behavior feed that monster too…men are applauded for ignit @sshole-ery and admonished for being p*ssies…I don’t think it has to be an either/or dynamic…there is definitely balance to be had…
If you were in the corner, this definitely got you out. Kudos.
Well put…though bitchassians? LOL
I agree that there is balance. My point is that asking the question about what tips one over from sensitive to “bitchass” is not a question of balance so much as a question about “how we construct masculinity”
Bra-FUCKING-vo!!!
Tyler were you over on Sister toldja’s site the other day. i’m going to develop an e-crush on you if so. Move over genius khan.
@PJ. Nah. Crying is not in the eye of the beholder. Some sh!t is just not worthy of tears.
yeah but not in front of no females or your homeboys for that matter. U betta wait till u in ur room alone to ring out that soul! haha! Sorry, I just can’t stand to see a man crying unless some1 died, then its ok! only then!
when I see a MAN cry for a MAN-ly reason…it makes my heart swell up and my inner-wife takes over…a few tears fall to see a symbol of strength become overwhelmed by emotion and then I try to comfort, console, or uplift the brother in question…but ony for like real reason to cry type ish…not because somebody got the last copy of The Notebook from Blockbuster and you had your heart set on watching it tonight (after Desperate Housewives)…
“not because somebody got the last copy of The Notebook from Blockbuster and you had your heart set on watching it tonight (after Desperate Housewives)…”
I’d like to once again reiterate that The Notebook isn’t as good as its proclaimed to be. And if a grown ass man cried for the reason stated above, he’d need to be slapped with a bag of rusty door hinges and made to watch straight porn on hours like a Gender based version of the movie Drop Squad.
P…I agree…The Notebook was so “on purpose” and contrived (which I guess is the same thing *shrugging*)…but rusty door hinges? where do you get this stuff?? LOL
Please, don’t you guys get started on your Ryan Gosling hating again…or else I’ll be forced to thrash you.
Thrash deez.
And that Ryan Gosling…now that’s a sensitive looking fellow.
“Thrash deez.”
i smell a t-shirt
@ Panama: deeez nuts!!!!
LMAO!!! Why is telling someone to “[insert choice verb] deez”?!?!?! It is so damn timeless!
DEEZ NUTS!!!!
The Notebook was a good movie P. Quit hating.
I think I may make it my own personal crusade in life to expose The Notebook for the non-sense it was!
Down with Notebooks and Bic Pens!
Panama, you’re finished. In fact just hang it up…you and your mufasa, panda bear crying, ray j singing ___. I’m just playin’ (smile) …but seriously why you got hate man??? you wrong…
I only hate b/c I was told how damn great that movie was. It was not. In fact I was informed it was a romantic comedy. It was not. So basically, I was expecting a different movie than I got. And if it was good, I’d have been more than happy to admit it. It was not.
Plus, I HATE the gotdamn non-happy ending ass movies. I’m sensitive. Make me smile and feed me.
Several people have tried to get me to watch this movie. I still haven’t seen it yet . What’s the big deal?
I refuse to watch it, just because so many chicks like it. This normally means I will hate it.
Ok I refused to watch it for a while and Bridget Jones Diary and Sex in the City b.c. they were so chick flicks and I normally didn’t like them. (Didn’t trust chicks after that when harry met sally debacle and finally watching that dumbascatshit an affair to remember) but when i did see them I liked them all. Give it a shot.
I liked the Notebook, but I didn’t cry at the end and everyone (including my sister) said that I was cold.
I am with PJ on this one.
The movie was shamelessly manipulative. And was I the only one who only sees that abominable Mickey Mouse Club version of Cry For You whenever Ryan Gosling is on screen?
Thanks Tyler. I just see a sappy-ass looking sensitive cat. That’s Ryan Gosling to me.
AND FURTHER, he looked NOTHING, like the older version of himself. AT ALL.
You know what, it’ll be interesting to see how much “sensitivity” comes into play when a son is raised primarily by his mother as oppose to both parents or his father.
That situation toughens some boys and makes them less emotional, then again, it can go the other way.
you have a point there Monk.
I have had men feed me that natrure vs nurture BS…and I don’t buy it…for every “sensitive” man I know that was raised by a single mom…there is an @sshole with the same street cred..this, my friend is a crap shoot…a box of chocolates, if you will…you never know what you’re gonna get…
You can’t assign b*tchassness to the parents…well…now if you sign the boy up for (non-football related) ballet and buy him an easy bake oven…then yeah (Martin You So Crazy impression) “smell that, that’s you!”
LOL..now see, having seen ‘you so crazy’ i’m laughing my ass off right now at this quote. Champ,Monk, don’t ya want the same feeling when you hear ‘the color purple’ quotes?
I know Teacia, I should let it go. But i just can’t!
LOL…it’s okay…admitting you have a problem is the first step.
“I have had men feed me that natrure vs nurture BS”
i dont think that this is bs though. its ingrained in some men from birth to hold everything in, while in others the bitchassedness is ingrained from the womb. the type of upbringing you’ve had definitely plays a significant role
@ Champ~ dont make me pull out my thesis (searching computer files) one of my comprehensive exam questions was on nature v. nurture) which I aced!
@CHAMP…it does play a MAJOR role…not denying that…I am just saying that it’s not the only player…I know mwn that were raised only by female relatives that are @ssholes…and I know men of the same stock that are whining broadlike entities (two of which had “daddies” in the home)…then you have the ones that have a balance perspective on feelings and expression…while I admit that upbringing plays it’s part…I don’t think that the distinct correlation between softness and predominately female environment can be drawn without allowing for a random margin of error…
I am sensitive about this, because I have a boy…plain and simple…so carry on…
It’s been such a looong time since I’ve seen a man I’ve been in a r-ship with cry…if ever…I just can’t recall. Granted, my rships are often very very short-lived and don’t delve into the depths of seriousness in which I might reasonably see dude cry sooo…. But just imagining a man I’m with start boo-hooing over some sh*t that I would cry over, seems very unbecoming to me. Shedding a tear for a fallen soldier yeah okay…but letting them straight up roll down without immediately trying to wipe them suckers off? Uhh not cute.
I think men are just socialized this way and in response we as women have become used to their natures that resist showing emotion. I don’t need a man to be in touch with his feminine, sensitive, emotional side. I do need him to be MAN enough to be sensitive, gentle and responsive to me when I’m in the middle of showing mine. There’s a difference. We want to feel loved unconditionally by you even when we are emotional wrecks. Plus, a woman always wants to know what a man is thinking…if you’re thinking about something that has to do with your emotions especially as it pertains to the way you feel about us, we just want to know cause we’re some needing-to-know-everything-at-all-times mofos. Moreover, every woman wants a man to stimulate her emotions (aka create attraction) but we don’t need you to be extra open with your own emotions for this to be accomplished. Sh*t simply learn the very fine art of inflating our feminine egos…just like we have learned the art of stroking yours.
“I don’t need a man to be in touch with his feminine, sensitive, emotional side. I do need him to be MAN enough to be sensitive, gentle and responsive to me when I’m in the middle of showing mine.”
I get the feeling that this is the predominant feeling about sensitive men held by women. In essence, be a man and man the f*ck up.
I think men are just socialized this way and in response we as women have become used to their natures that resist showing emotion. I don’t need a man to be in touch with his feminine, sensitive, emotional side. I do need him to be MAN enough to be sensitive, gentle and responsive to me when I’m in the middle of showing mine. There’s a difference. We want to feel loved unconditionally by you even when we are emotional wrecks. Plus, a woman always wants to know what a man is thinking…if you’re thinking about something that has to do with your emotions especially as it pertains to the way you feel about us, we just want to know cause we’re some needing-to-know-everything-at-all-times mofos. Moreover, every woman wants a man to stimulate her emotions (aka create attraction) but we don’t need you to be extra open with your own emotions for this to be accomplished. Sh*t simply learn the very fine art of inflating our feminine egos…just like we have learned the art of stroking yours.
this entire comment is actually the beginning paragraph of treezy’s doctoral dissertation about chick logic titled “this doesnt really make any sense to me either”
“It’s been such a looong time since I’ve seen a man I’ve been in a r-ship with cry”
Never had a dude cry in front of me that i was dating. Hell, I just witnessed my own dad cry for the first time in 2 months ago! I have seen a man’s eyes sort of glisten though. Does that count? Anyway, I wouldn’t really care if a man cried in front of me it might actually turn me on. But that’s another topic for another day. Oh and ditto on the occasional ego inflation. Not too much that it sound insincere but ya know once a month or so (hint, hint).
Holy Hell Nah, Batman!
it COMPLETELY depends on WHY he’s crying! homie got killed…acceptable…you drank the last of the orange juice and put the container back in the fridge…not so much…
“you drank the last of the orange juice and put the container back in the fridge…not so much…”
you can’t cry over a “swallow”?
Too easy Champ…way too easy.
you took the words out of my mouth!
Um…ALSO too easy, Goodeness, too easy.
(wink) you know I know…such the gentleman…
bitchassness transcends gender, sex, race, creed, religion, socioeconomic status, and sexual orientation (its an EOE, mofo). with that being said, bitchassness is simply being petty about something. when it involves your emotions it usually involves ignoring the other persons emotions in a situation. all other expressions of extreme emotion on the male behalf, namely, crying, about anything, the birth of ones first son, or smashing your finger in a door, are just that, displays of emotion.
in short, crying doesnt necessarily make you a b*tch, and being a b*tch doesnt necessarily involve crying.
thanks and good night.
yeah. what shay said.
“in short, crying doesnt necessarily make you a b*tch, and being a b*tch doesnt necessarily involve crying.”
Shay…good post!!!!
Feelin it.
HOLDING UP MY LIGHTER!
Word.
“in short, crying doesnt necessarily make you a b*tch, and being a b*tch doesnt necessarily involve crying.”
***prison service***
I hate you CHAMP
you just hate my doggystyle
if it’s the doggy style you learned while attending prison service than you are absolutely correct.
Aha ha ha ha!!!!
Game. Set. Match.
daaaaaaaaaaamn IH…you had to gut punch that azz huh?
@champ…I felt your Snoop Dogg reference…but she got you dawg…she got you good…lol
actually the Snoop Dogg reference is one of my all time favs I use it a lot… but I’m always careful not to leave myself open and honestly I couldn’t help it.
Wow. That actually was quite the motherfucking comeback.
Good.Damn.Job.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn guhrl, why you had to do him like that?!
doggystyle…. prison service…. heh, heh, heh….
Hedo u crazy! LOL! so u saying Doggie Style at prison service can turn Champs to Chumps. LOL!!!
I don’t know where the line is exactly but this guy I went out with a few times looked out the window of the hotel and saw the beach and the sunset(we were at a wedding reception that I asked my brother should I invite if I didn’t think we were a couple) and he said some gay a$$ $hi! like…”I wonder what it would be like to wake up early and see the sunrise on the beach I’ve always wanted to do that” and left it at that without an invite…i thought that was “sensitive” and effing weird. Keep that to yourself otherwise invite a sista and screw all the sunrise crap. I’m just sayin’.
See to me, that’s not total bitchazzness. It’s honest. Now if he went on and on or got teary-eyed, um, what’s really hood? lol Maybe it wouldn’t have been as terrible if you already knew him well?
“”I wonder what it would be like to wake up early and see the sunrise on the beach I’ve always wanted to do that” and left it at that without an invite…i thought that was “sensitive” and effing weird. Keep that to yourself otherwise invite a sista and screw all the sunrise crap. I’m just sayin’.”
So was it only effin’ gay b/c he DIDN’T invite you to do it? To me that doesn’t sound like a gay ass comment…sounds like a cat who’s seeing some fly shit out of his window and had a thought he shared with you.
Now if had said, “I’ve always wanted to wake up on the beach ass out while the sand scurried through my toes and the warmth of the morning sand made me all giggly inside.”
^^ gay.
Now if had said, “I’ve always wanted to wake up on the beach ass out while the sand scurried through my toes and the warmth of the morning sand made me all giggly inside.”
LOL
Since the other brother called me a cheater *Humph*, I’m gonna get started early…
“So sensitive good people of VSB.com, my homies, just what is a sensitive man and at what point does a man step over the point of being sensitive to exhibiting true b*itchassness?”
I think that the exact point where a man crosses over from sensitive to a b*%ch varies from person to person. A mature and understanding person might be able to handle a large display of emotion while others may see any sign of emotion as a sign of weakness (men are not the only ones condition to think in this manner).
Not only does frequency matter, I think that the topic in which the man is being sensitive about, e.g. crying about “Lion King” or being unable to handle ANY kind of pressure, can be grounds to be labeled…
Woah woah woah…are we saying that crying at the Lion King makes you questionably sensitive? In a bad way?
I’m saying, Simba lost his pops, yo!! HIS POPS!!
Panama, just be you…I want you to call your gf right now and say ‘baby, i cry for simba and baby pandas’, if she’s cool with it…you’re golden.
She knows I cry for Simba. I also cry for me Argentina.
dont cry for me Argentine, i done mobbed in da beamer…… Hova
P, I’m wit’ you on this homes! That sh*t was sad than mug. The lil homie lost his daddy in a stampede in the muhf*ckin’ pridelands WHILE he was trying to save Simba. Monnie, how would you feel if your daddy was trying to save you and while acting with valour and bravery he was stampeded by buffalo…but just as he was about to escape his demise, his evil brother-lion threw him off a cliff…then villainously laughed about the sh*t? How would you like that?
Monnie, have you no soul?!!?!
yeah…the lion king got me too. dammit scar!!!!!!
Well send my soul straight to hell then…
I’ll admit that I did tear up at that scene (it’s been years since I’ve seen it), but if you cry every time?!? Dude, it’s a cartoon, but
“how would you feel if your daddy was trying to save you and while acting with valour and bravery he was stampeded by buffalo…but just as he was about to escape his demise, his evil brother-lion threw him off a cliff…then villainously laughed about the sh*t?”
*looking sheepishly* Maybe I need to watch the movie again… but I remember feeling more contempt for Scar than actual sadness for Mufasa.
@Monnie. You do NOT need to watch it again. Stick to your guns. “DUDE, it was just a cartoon!” Those same dudes probably cried when watching Bambi too. LMFAO at the b*assness that is present on this site today. LOL!
You better watch your mouth, Elenda!!!! I really don’t want to have to holla at my boys P, Champ and Genius to make an example out of you.
@D*Stroy aka D*Pain, you my man and all but for real that move right there was some ole b*assness if I ever. It’s like getting punked by an older kid for your ball and you threatening to get your older brother’s and cousins to come handle your business
**hanging head in shame***
@Intellectual Hedonist. LMAO! Damn, really? I thought it sounded really thugged out. You know…like I was going to get my peoples to ride on her. Kinda like 50 Cent would do…
Why do I even try?!
@IH. Thanks for getting D*Stroy straight for me. (Holding head down) Although I was getting a lil scurred with the threats of his boys coming after me
LOL!
@ D*Stroy aka D*Pain and PNimmy~it’s all Hamlet rolled up in Disney technicolor. Did you cry for Hamlet?
I was just about to bring Hamlet into the discussion. I’m betting no one cried at that, and Hamlet is the original.
Face it, y’all teared up because of Simba’s cute widdle lion baby face
LOL!!
Hamlet was a pussy. Yeah, I said it.
If Hamlet is a Pussy and The Lion King is essentially Hamlet than Simba is (say it with me people) A PUSSY!!! and a cartoon pussy at that
I am laughing at this…I mean I can almost hear you saying this…(not like I know wha tyou sound like or no ish…I’m just saying)…I get the premise of the cry-age…but the fact that it’s a cartoon of animal actors may have added a sense of detachment for me…although the opening seen from Nemo…was bananas!!!! I didn’t cry, but I was like DAYUM, I didn’t know the ocean had hoods…home invasions and matricide!! I was watching with my mouth hanging open like DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!
But you realize that Nemo ‘nem had moved out the hood and into a nice area and gangs (big ass fish) STILL came and took ‘em out.
Basically, the (sea) world is a ghetto.
GOOD I’m with you, I mean first of all, these Disney movies are geared towards children and are intentionally written and designed to pull the children in with something they fear, abandonment; from a parent, caregiver, friend. So all you GROWN AZZ MEN crying at Lion King and Nemo really begs the question of do you have abandonment issues? I think we are really scratching the surface here. I have and empty couch in my office. I can start seeing people at 1 pm est.
I’m callin’ first. I got beaucoup issues.
Hell, I’m STILL wondering what happened to my Kermit The Frog stuffed action figure that I had when I was like 6. I loved that thing. He even had his reporter jacket and hat and everything.
*sniffle*
I need help.
“I got beaucoup issues” you may need to make twice a week appointments… what kind of insurance you got?
nah my nig…that was a Kermit the Frog DOLL dude! who the f*ck has EVER seen a “stuffed” action figure…
it’s not easy being green dude…not easy being muh-fuggin green!
Oh…rotflmao..lol, Goodeness got me over here crying!! Yeah, that was a doll…Panny had a kermit the frog doll.
“So all you GROWN AZZ MEN crying at Lion King and Nemo really begs the question of do you have abandonment issues?”
lol…there are some questions i just dont want to know the answers to.
I don’t have abandonment issues. I just hate when people leave me.
@ PNimmy~ I think the Champ was referring to the Kermit The Frog stuffed action figure-technically, sorry to be the one to break it to you, Kermit is not people
@ Goodness. “Didn’t know oceans had hoods” LMFAO!!!
crying at the “lion king”? man, if you don’t get at least a little misty when mufasa dies, something is wrong witcha.
but then i gave my ex a pass for getting a bit misty while watching “the sisterhood of the traveling pants.”
i also thought young buck’s breakdown both amusing and a little bit sexy. but then i think young buck is more than a little bit scrumptious, gold teeth and all.
i’m okay with a man showing emotion. i’m even okay with him crying. although if it’s some hysterical, teary, snot filled crying with lots of hyperventilating and ain’t nobody died, stabbed, or shot him, i might laugh a little bit while passing him a box of kleenex.
“crying at the “lion king”? man, if you don’t get at least a little misty when mufasa dies, something is wrong witcha”
I’ve always thought something was wrong with me. I hate the Lion King, only seen it once, begrudgingly .
Thank you tiffany…Mustafa got straight Tupac’d!!! Simba was all alone…
*sniffle*
he got Tupac’d? damn…never thunk of it like that…Scar straight Suge Knight’d him huh? damn…that made a “G” poor out some of my cherry vanilla dr. pepper for da homie MUFASA…
I don’t know what you were on today, but you were definitely on it!!!
@PJ. If you don’t stop showing out about crying when watching Lion King I am going to know something. Why the hell do you really think it is okay to cry at a cartoon. RUFKM?
“i also thought young buck’s breakdown both amusing and a little bit sexy. but then i think young buck is more than a little bit scrumptious, gold teeth and all”
i think you’re the lone passenger on that boat.
i am. it’s an affliction. as a general rule, i don’t find gold teeth sexy, but on young buck, it works for me.
i generally don’t find hysterical crying fits sexy either. but a few visible tears makes me want to hug a dude and make him some hot cocoa.
these are probably a sign that i have co-dependent tendencies and an unconscious preference for men with emotional issues.
“So sensitive good people of VSB.com, my homies, just what is a sensitive man and at what point does a man step over the point of being sensitive to exhibiting true b*itchassness?”
A sensitive man is one that is OPEN and can talk about just about any and everything as you stated. No topic is off limits when it comes to his feelings or past experiences.
Most men who are in touch with their sensitive side wear the color pink with confidence.
Crying does NOT make a man overly sensitive but excessive whinning and pouting when he doesn’t get his way does.
“Crying does NOT make a man overly sensitive but excessive whinning and pouting when he doesn’t get his way does”
***Usher’s Annual***
I actually LOVE to see men is pink…however I don’t like sensitive men…they just make my skin crawl…all that sensitivity and shit.
But I’m from Florida…pink, yellow and baby blue are considered base colors down here, so two are mutually exclusive in most cases.
“But I’m from Florida…pink, yellow and baby blue are considered base colors down here…”
I always thought there was something wrong with Florida. Thanks for helping me understand why.
Ooooh, you aren’t hating on Flawda are you?!?!? It’s always sunny, the men are flashy and wear bright colors…besides how else will you be able to see past the shiny rims unless he wears an equally reflective shirt.
Lol…i kid, i kid.
T-Pain should make you understand why.
Just kidding…FLA.
Panama,
You said you teach Economics. Have you ever read the book “Freakonomics”… if not you might want to check it out…definitely some hot intelligent sh*t.
Here’s a link with some info…
http://freakonomicsbook.com/thebook/
“Most men who are in touch with their sensitive side wear the color pink with confidence.”
LMAO No disrespect but I can’t see how you came to this conclusion. I think a lot of men just are cool with pink because it became trendy and socially acceptable.
Yeah pink is the new blue.
I can’t stand pink on men. I was so happy when that trend died (at least here in TX). It was freakin’ ubiquitous at one point!!!
ok..pink died….but Sponge Bob took his his place…and then these hood shirts with a grilled out “pimp panther”??? really? is pink worse than that?? I got two words for the biggest BULLSH!T parade in the Lone Star State…. (drum roll please)
MY DOUGIE!
(I’m dead)
Yeah…you are so correct GOODENess.
That is completely craptastic.
Ya know, I teach on the side and one my students is from Dallas. I told him that b/c of the song “My Dougie” he was starting with a B off of GP.
I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
Dayum P…lol
@ panama-ster teacher…
ok…start him with a B plus…but if he actually gets his hair cut into the aforementioned “dougie” flunk that azz!
(ps – whatchu teach, club bunny?)
@GOODE – I teach Economics. Pretty much an Econ 101 class.
an educator…damn…I think you just got e-sexier to me!!!
I wear pink all the time. But I’m on some Killa Cam/Harlem World sh*t… but kinda not… because I work down in the Wall Street area so I wear my pink gear with suits. But believe me, if Cam’ron worked down here I’m sure he’d rock pink shirts and pink pocket squares, just like your boy. KILLAH!!
pink…done right…is SEXY!
As a man who owns a pink shirt…you can call it what you want, but pink really is just pink.
I wear it as a show of solidarity with Cam’ron as well. Dipset 4 Lyfe.
Dipseeeet!!
where is Cam anyway? i haven’t heard from him since he had open face beef wit 5th. i believe he is working on some powerful music man. he better find justin blaze. i know that.
alhough i like a lot of his stuff “at the end of the day” he know he can do some knick-knack-paddy-wack ass rappin like: i took a loofa doofa and made a supa trooper, ring around the rosie, now u a party pooper. WTF!
das a funny dude man, funny. i realy mean it, I…
this the same dude that will take a $100,000 fur coat and dye the shit red/pink. funny shit i tellya. state your name b? funny shit.
i like some of their shit but the whole dipset keep me laughing, it’s so extra and contrived.
…and that dam hoffa dash, he so dam extra. he really wanna be an artist but just don’t have it. wanna be the center of attention all the time. cool out dude let ya game come to you. this dude always got something to prove. you know the type. always wanna one up a nickel. if yu say you got a club foot he’d say: i got gout in my left big toe. no swank to speak of. good for a laugh though. ha mutha fu**in ha. laugh, laugh, laugh!
men in pink dress shirts are just SEXY!! something about pink offsetting any shade of brown. yummy
@Queen. Overly macho men refuse to wear pink no matter how damn stylish or trendy it is. They also refuse to do “woman”chores around the house too. “Making up the bed is a womans job.” I’ve met like two of these dudes in my life.
I’m not a sensitive woman. I think I would need a man who could balance me out, but I don’t need some blubbering cry baby. Just someone who could bring out the small ounce of sensitivity I have.
This weekend, I was talking to a friend of mine who’s a radio personality in the NYC/Philly area….so he was telling me he was watching an episode of the Real World, where this guys mentor died from cancer. The black guy on the RW was apparently broken up and in tears when he heard about it. So my friend tells me that the scene had him in tears! I’m like, DUDE, it’s the fucking REAL WORLD???!? Sensitive, much? Is what I asked him…lol
For some reason he hung up on me…lol
The black guy on the RW was apparently broken up and in tears when he heard about it.
Perhaps it struck a nerve or something with him. Losing one’s mentor is hard. Hell I took it real hard when Bo Jackson went down. Granted, I wanted to BE Bo Jackson…but it hurt to see the human equivalent to Superman taken out.
*sniffle*
Bo Jackson? Wow, now that’s a throwback…lol
sh*t, i cried when magic announced that he had the monkey
Hmm…Jay-Z couldn’t see them coming down his eyes, so he had to make a song cry.
He’s sensitive.
I cried when Magic announce too Champ **hugging Champ**
btw: I don’t hate you anymore
thanks
*hugging IH while sneaking an ass peak*
It’s such a fine line between sensitivity and bytchazzness.
I’ve had to cut a few dudes from the line-up due to them being overly sensitive. When a girl is telling you it’s too much, it’s overkill, for real dawg. We as women, say we want a man who’s in touch with his feelings, but really if you’re crying more than me, we have a problem.
I totally agree. A fine line exists and I think it varies from woman to woman.
Sensitive…we break up and you let a tear or two fall.
Bitchazzness…you roll around on the floor crying like stop drop and roll. (Yes, people…true story.)
“Bitchazzness…you roll around on the floor crying like stop drop and roll. (Yes, people…true story.)”
Wowzers!!!! Most def. bytchazzness at it’s finest.
@Queen. Not the stop, drop and roll. Say it aint so, say it aint so!
So this reminds me of that book ‘men cry in the dark’ (which I HATED by the way, i’m not a michael baisden fan at all and read that book years ago). The book was trying to explore that whole sensitive thing, but like most anything M.B does it was heavy handed, extra and ridiculously annoying. The men in the book cried CONSTANTLY.
If a man tears up at things that would cause most normal people to cry (and i mean real-life situations, not really movies) that’s cool. Shed the occasional tear over our relationship, that’s cool cause it should mean that much to you. But, like with anything else in life, moderation is key.
Hard to communicate exactly where that line is between sensitivity and bitchassness, but like the supreme court said about obscenity, i know it when i see it.
crying in the dark just seems…contrived. whenever i think about that i picture lots of shadows, rain, and some guy holding his bedsheets to his cheek and wailing at the wall.
again…contrived
that description of crying in the dark reminded me of
‘A Soldier’s Story’…and don’t tell me you didn’t see that sh*t either.
A Soldier’s Story!!!! What?!
I love that movie.
I loved the movie and I saw the play with Taye Diggs in it…also dope.
BTW–
Taye Diggs=B*tchassness personified
Somehow I would think Taye would eff it up…hmmm.
“and don’t tell me you didn’t see that sh*t either.”
i have. this movie actually made me hate lightskinneded middle-aged black men for 2 months.
i was 8, btw.
“this movie actually made me hate lightskinneded middle-aged black men for 2 months.”
LOL! Yeah, I hated that character too…
Adolph Ceasar.
He was pure d. azzhole personified.
This movie and the color purple.
yeh…he made me want to spit in his lemonade all over again.
how about some Miss P (Suge Avery) pee… lol I love TCP refrences!!!
@For Real. “Men Cry in the Dark” was a great book and was probably the first book I read in one sitting. I am for a man crying like you said in moderation. Hell, I cry all the dayum time (at least every other week) and even I do it alone
aight…first and foremost…if u have NOT seen The Color Purple, (drum roll please) Kill Yo’Self!!
now…as far as the post..I have dated a sensitive @ss dude before…(and by “date” I mean habitually f*cked and got f*cked) but dude was a HAN to begin with, but I was blinded by the magnanimous f*ck-age to walk away… after a few weeks this boy let the “L” word fall out his mouth in my direction… this immediately sobered me up from cum drunkness and I removed my GREAT D!CK goggles…I told him I didnt want a relationship…(looking over my shoulder and whispering) this ni99a started CRYING! I don’t mean a masculine, single tear, lip biting, “aight then mama, do u”…Im talking about that ugly ass, face scrunched up, crocodile tears, snot slanging, hollering and cussing….and running after my truck as I got the F*CK out of there, Im officially a b*tch nigga unworthy of ur snatch candy type sh!t!!! I was terrified…this dude was a “thug” but he was calling me from every cell phone he could get his hands on (got a long distance cell #)…then he sent me a MySpace page that had MY PICTURE as the tiled backround…so glad he didnt know where I live(d)…
moral of the story…sensitive dudes are stalkers waiting to happen…worse than a broad even…not a “woman”, mind you….but a “broad”…its not either ur an @sshole or ur a b*tch…there is a great gray area between a communicative brother and a ni99a with ovarian envy! all kleenex aside, get in where u fit in…damn!
Damn…good d!ck will definitely have you overlooking a lot of things…including sensitive men. I met a man or three who have gotten super sensitive on me during/after sex and it was qite frightening considering there was no foundation…boggled my mind actually.
…I guess the good ish will do that to them…lol.
nah this was not in a passionate embrace…if we are actively “engaged” in nasty-smacky I will give you a pass…GOOD ish makes you say everything you won’t say sober…but this was like…a completely non-sexual moment of randomness…followed by awkward silence…crying…on foot truck chasing…etc…
lmao…woooooow. it’s a good thing u got out of there FAST!!
wow…stalker and errythang.
This is why I handle the sensitive kats with kid gloves.
this is why I don’t handle sensitive cats at all! this ish right here ni99a…I mean a big 6ft, 3 hunnit pound, tat’d up, doo rag wearing MALE sprinting at full pace down the middle of the street? just the flashback of watching him in my rearview gives me chills! game over!
ooh kreepy. Is it bad that I let little dudes off at being more emotional than bigger men?
nah…I call this the Mice/Men phenomenon…lol
Okay, now i can’t get the visual out of my head. This ish is hilarious and if we looked up bitchassness, one definition should include a little drawing of this scene you’ve described.
I think this could have been the same dude that rolled around on the floor crying because I broke up with him. We must talk Goodeness. lol
[i laughed from here...]
I don’t mean a masculine, single tear, lip biting, “aight then mama, do u”…Im talking about that ugly ass, face scrunched up, crocodile tears, snot slanging, hollering and cussing….and running after my truck as I got the F*CK out of there, Im officially a b*tch nigga unworthy of ur snatch candy type sh!t!!! I was terrified…this dude was a “thug” but he was calling me from every cell phone he could get his hands on (got a long distance cell #)…then he sent me a MySpace page that had MY PICTURE as the tiled backround…so glad he didnt know where I live(d)…[....to here]
**mad tears; fools outside my office must think I am crazy……Thank you!!!!
I am so glad I could make you laugh to tears (crossing that off my “bucket list”, now THERE is a movie that brings tears…)
Good thing it’s about a bucket then, right?
*rimshot*
*le sight*
I know that joke sucked.
@ Panama-ster…I thought it was “cute”…was surprised someone caught the reference…I pitch…you hit…(chest bumps) teamwork baby!
Hi-five.
oh how i love a good *cyber-five*
Goodeness! This sh*t is HILARIOUS!!! Where the hell do you come up with this stuff! LMAO!!!!
the truth is stranger than fiction, love…smh…
You know, I have no clue why, but this comment makes me want to send you BACK to the corner.
PANAMA-ngement..
I thought we was cool, man? lol…how can making a grown man ball at the thought of loss of this good “skirt-squirter” be corner worthy? I mean really? who does that?
i was thinking the same thing. i think she needs more alone time with her pole
my pole…your pole…soul pole…aight…aight…I’m going…
@Good. That story had me laughing so hard in my cube! I don’t know why people get sent to that damn corner but I have a feeling you need to go for sharing that during work hours. I know my co-workers heard me because I gave up trying to snicker and just LOL!
Too sensitive is crying when nobody has died. The end.
BRAVO!!! *standing O*
What about crying while watching “My Girl?” You know …the movie where Maccaulay Culkin gets stung to death by bees. That sh*t was sad as f*ck… even for a G like me.
Unless you’re under 12, this is frowned upon.
Ummm….yeah, that’s what I was thinking too…What I had meant to say was…is it cool when a nucca cries during “Beauty and the Beast” when the beast gets bodied by Gaston. What about that sh*t, huh!?!
…
LOL…you are a nut
grown man watching Disney classics…were there children present? not the in-utero kind…I mean actual born already ass kids? if not…hmmm…(extending my hand to you) I think I will take your G card now…
Daaaaaamn! I was just asking for a friend of mine! Not cause I cried or nothing like that!
……………
It’s like a n*gga can’t even get emotional over a kid getting his lil’ @ss stung to death or when a furry-misunderstood-beast-with-a-good-heart gets stabbed and thrown from a tower, while his true love watches. Y’all are some insensitve mofos!
“Y’all are some insensitve mofos”
Thank you.
I support men watching Disney movies. I like them…it’s great that we can watch them together. I don’t know that you need to be over there tearing up during the movies however. In fact I do know…you don’t. If you are finding reasons to cry, you need to justify that quickly. lol
@ D*Stroy…now that you put it that way…
step away from the violins and kleenex…give me your “G” card and nobody gets hurt…do not pass go…do not collect 2 hunnit dollars…this hurts me more than it hurts you…
(looking for Panama) whassup on that bag of rusty door hinges, dawg???
Woah the fuck up.
I am an avid Disney watcher. And I’m as G as they come.
You can’t tell me Aladdin ain’t a motherf*cking movie about a project G getting over and hustling his way to the top.
Shit, you know how many cats in the hood I know with genies??!?!
Lots. That’s how many.
@D*Pain – I’m with you hombre. I think these folks are a little too hard on touching moments in movies that are INTENDED to make you tear up. Aren’t we just doing what’s expected? If they try to make you cry and it doesn’t work…it’s a bad movie.
@ Panama-lladin!…
nah dude…but you wasn’t crying or no ish, huh? I am not hating on Disney (although there is not ONE SINGLE Black princess and he obvioiulsy had mommy issues, but I digress) they are “wholesome” entertainment…but crying? really? I used to walk around with a Simba backpack in high school (94-98) I was Simba…even saw the play…and as touching and heartwarming and shit as the story was…tears? not so much… I luvs D*Stroy, lawd knows I do…but I’ll kill him dead”… oh wait…remix on Miss Sophia on aisle one…
I got 99 problems…crying at Disney ain’t one!
Yo…seriously, son…that shit was MAD sad.
THANK YOU, P! That sh*t WAS sad as hell!
*adjusting my doo-rag while polishing my gat*
@D*Stroy…now we gat polishing? didn’t they teach you nuffin at the school of hard knocks? polish holds latents….prints…just oil the barrel and keep it moving…geesh… lol
THANK YOU, P! That sh*t WAS sad as hell!
*adjusting my doo-rag while polishing my gat*
D*Stroy…I think this comment was my first laugh out loud comment this morning…way to go mister!!!
And way to go Panny for having your boy’s back!
Am I the only one cracking up laughing out loud thinking about PJack and DStroy watching disney cartoons holding each other and crying…. Not to say simba and my girl weren’t sad and deserve a single tear drop. but your adamant defense makes me think there was more than a single tear drop. It sounds like there was sobbing. Or so I’d like to think for my entertainment.
@willnot – Sobbing might be strong. I mean it wasn’t no waterfall or nothing. I’m just saying….Disney makes some sad ass movies man. They tug at the heart strings and allow a thug like myself (I got a .45 under my pillow in case suckas wanna start some static – I also have 2 degrees from reputable institutions under my other pillow) to get in touch with his sensitive side…on occasion.
Right before I go out and commit another crime, dun dun.
And I drive by in something so foolish. they be like, “boy, you a fool”
Sobbing at something that is not real is never strong. Sobbing is that can’t breath right stuff. Body movements are involved. Sobbing is ugly and only called for on rare occasions. Like you just got your ass whooped with an extension cord. Or your spouse cheated on you in your own house. Or deaths/ paralyzations, life changing events.
Damn Pjack, you keep your money in your mattress too(although you may be the only one not broke in 2012 when the banks fail again)? I hope you’re not a restless sleeper. People wondering why you got bullet holes in your sheets and diplomas. Safety on.
@willnot – actually i do keep some money in shoeboxes and shoes. real talk. First Bank of Timberland.
Lemme clarify:
Too sensitive is crying when no real live human you KNOW has died.
LMAO!!!!!!!
(slow clap)
hostess obviously has no soul.
@D*Stroy aka D*Pain. Man, I watched that movie about 2 months ago on OnDemand and was falling out crying. Man, that was some sad sh!t. But I’m a GIRL, what is your excuse????
RIP Thomas J.
“But I’m a GIRL, what is your excuse???”
LMAO!!!!!! WOW, I really thought you were on my team before you turned around and dropped that last sentence. LOL!!!!! I wouldn’t expect this type of betrayal from you…not in a million years. Thanks for the laugh though!
@D*Stroy. Sorry, I had to drop that last line. My man walked in the room while I was tearing and sighing over Thomas J and said “you gotta be fuc*n kidding me!” I was itching to get someone back.
get over it or die from it huh?
get over it or die from it huh Host?
I have actually laughed a man who started crying because I was in utter disbelief that his ass was actually CRYING!!! WTF?!?!? Are you serious, GTOFH! I’m a sensitive chic, but I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeves. I am effected easily by a lot of things, most of which people would be unaware of because I don’t do public sensitivity.
And speaking of what I don’t do…I don’t do sensitive ass men. Man the f@ck up for real. Stop whining and complaining about this and that and just be a man about it. Do I need a man to talk to me about his “feelings”…absolutely not. I am aware that he has them and I am definitely open to listening to him, but I don’t force it out of him.
Now having said that I am a conversation/phone whore…so I generally spend a lot of my time talking to men. And surprsingly there are hella topics to talk about that don’t involve men getting all personal about their feelings…and quietly it’s a beautiful thing when a man RANDOMLY expresses his feelings. I can actually appreciate a man who after time opens up unforced about certain topics, but I have to be a bit suspect about a man who comes out of the gate with the emotional goods.
Give me a sensitive brut, who holds in all in until he can’t anymore. I know they say internalizing is bad…yeah I think it’s all the pyscho-babble that has our men screwed up in the head…go ahead fellas internalize…it’s for the kids.
haha! I feel ya teacia. It is like a precious gift for a man to break out of the mold and tell you something serious about his feelings as opposed to telling you every fucking day how he feels.
I agree, something about a random act of snot dripping deliverance in front of a me, that just makes me moist in the panties.
i do so like moist in the panties. well i guess that depends on whose panties we’re talking about and moist with what?
every time i turn around you talking about nickels loosing their mind behind your cooch. crying behind your cooch. 15 marriage proposals, cum so hard he thought you peed. just really, what’s good? i aint never met a cooch that made me feel like that and i have met some dam good coochies. what thefu** gives? (i mean besides your cooch) LOL!
maybe i should be asking: who are these men?
lol…ur a nut!!! it was 7 proposals…yall got some serious jokes in the blogoshere.
and ain’t nothing super special about the cooch…well there is vibrating thing…but that’s not important.
yeah i think male condoms is the way to go…oh wait, wrong blogsite.
*exiting stage left*
@ GK…in TEESH’s defense…the whole “squirt” phemon will make a ninja cry real tears at the prosepct of losing it…(shrugging) I’m just saying…LOL
“go ahead fellas internalize…”
…and continue to die from high blood pressure when we’re 43
shit, well then hug it out with each other…start an ea(emotions anonymouss) group.
…just keep it to yourselves, damn is that too much to ask.
lol, again i kid.
ok you know there are many ways to have a healthy expression that does not include crying right? not saying that there has to be anything wrong with a man crying but….
because you are not crying doesn’t mean you have to be internalizing.
i know right, punch a hole in the wall or something.
ok? write a poem…j*ck off….hug a tree or some shit…DAMN!
Goody u could do that Jamie Foxx thing too: “you better blow that shit out.” which means you inhaled it in the first place. heh, heh, heh.
this has nothing t do with the price of crack in Brooklyn.
the ideas of the commenter are his own and are not necessarily those of vsb.com. we return you now to your regularly scheduled programming.
Teesh i’ll take: “or something” i don’t want holes in my walls but places where there are already holes i might be able to punch into those and blow off a lil steam….. or something. heh, heh, heh
I’m lazy today and haven’t read errrbody’s posts. But to me I don’t want a man who’s more sensitive than I am. I like that you can communicate how you feel, thats important, rather than keeping me guessing etc, etc. However, you’re feelings should not be getting hurt constantly or flipping out like you’re pregnant (emotional). I expect a continuum of strength like I have. Crying at movies that are emotional is perfectly fine. Unless it lasts for more than a minute or involves ugly noises. Talking about sunsets is ok. Whining in any shape or form is not. Indecision, passive aggressiveness, passiveness in general, victim mentality, laziness in the face of challenges, weakness in the face of difficulty (weakness meaning not trying not necessarily meaning not succeeding), weak character; all these are traits of bitchassness. Appreciating the world, being able to talk, showing emotions but not letting emotions get the best of you, those are signs of sensitivity thats ok in a man.
guranteed I kinda thought sensitivity is for the birds anyway, but I’m a hardass bitch sometimes. I’m learning to appreciate it recently.
you know, three very close family members of mine have passed away since the beginning of the year, and, although i was deeply hurt, i barely shed a tear each time. this is a pattern for me. i never cry at family funerals, wakes, etc.
yet despite this, i got lumpy throated at the end of “akeelah and the bee”, “glory”, and “saving private ryan”, and even when first hearing about this story in the pittsburgh post gazette a year ago:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08162/888711-52.stm
so, in summary…
“close family member” = “no tears”
“fiction, or someone i’ve never met before” = “lumpy johnson”
is there something wrong with me?
LOL..i’m not gonna say something is wrong with you per se, but I ain’t gonna tell you it’s right either!
I’m sorry…I’m up in the air on this one.
Sorry for your loss. Sincere condolences.
Sorry I’m making this an aside and not my main comment, but i am sorry to hear about your family members.
P,
On a serious note, sorry for you losses. Death is never easy…tears or no tears.
Champ my bad kid, I was typing too quickly and I inserted Panama’s initial. The sentiment remains the same though.
I am this way…I don’t even attend funerals, wakes, etc….I watch the kids at the house or take on the after service dinner arrangements…for some, it may be easier to connect with the “loss” (real or implied) of fictional characters than actual people on your life…it’s been my experience that the truest sense of loss/confusion often calls emotions into play that transcend tears…tears aren’t enough…you’re just numb…or don’t know how to express what you feel…may not even be sadness…you just…”be”…
I’m with you, I’ve only attended one funeral and even then it was because I was too young to have a say. I haven’t cried over family members either, but I cried almost 4 times while watching Sex and the City the Movie.
I agree with your assessment, tears just aren’t enough to express how you’re feeling in these situations.
I second that but you know often you don’t connect with your emotions at the time of death or funeral. I miss my grandmother but i don’t remember crying at her funeral. I think it was appropriate the world cried (hurricane came up to north carolina on the drive down). But I do remember choking up and crying one time later when I was doing something we used to do together, or something I would tell her about. I didn’t cry until I was in a specific moment when I missed her being around.
i don’t know it just seems to me like the people cutting up and crying the hardest at the funeral are the ones who didn’t really care or show they cared when the person was alive. the funeral is a show for the living. i do my showing and proving for the people when they are alive. when i’ve shed a tear or few has been at another time like you mentioned Notbe.
There’s nothing wrong with you. I rarely cry surrounding a death. My grandmother and I were very close and it took me a year and a half to shed a tear. Different things bring different people to tears.
People mourn when/how it’s right for them. It’s a difficult ass process, and one that should be devoid of judgement.
Sorry for your losses Champ. But no, there’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone processes death differently, so I don’t think this is something that we can judge a person’s sensitivity on this. Plus, I find that men are often stoic in these situations. It’s their subconcious way of being ‘strong’ for the other grieving family members.
no. because that would mean there’s something wrong with me. and there ain’t *crossing arms and adding a neck roll.* i’m the same way. </smartass>
on a serious note, though: you have my condolences. it’s hard losing people you care about.
thanks everyone for the condolences. i wasn’t trying to turn the post into a downer, it’s just that i guess people have different emotional stimuli, and i dont know if a blanket statement like “if someone cries about x,y,z, then they’re automatically ultra sensitive” works.
i guess the topic is question that has a case by case answer
so, in summary…
“close family member” = “no tears”
“fiction, or someone i’ve never met before” = “lumpy johnson”
is there something wrong with me?
I don’t think so. Could it be that you only cry when you experience something that touches you? That would explain why certain movies make you tear up. Just taking a guess.
Champ, sorry for your loss
My husband’s best friend cries for everything. His now ex is one of my very good friends. He cried when they were together ‘ I just love you so much’ cry. She said that he cried when they had sex ‘ that was just so good’ and ‘ I just want to please you’. He also cried when they broke up. and now when we have parties or get togethers we joke that before the end of the night he will have her trapped in a corner with tears rolling down his face for whatever reason ‘I just love the way you make potato salad’. Ok that’s a joke but I’m just sayin. His current significant is funny about it, I’ve seen her roll her eyes when he’s crying in front of a group of people about whatever. Madness.
In my mind I’d always thought that I wanted a very sensitive brotha but after meeting this man, I changed my mind. That is too sensitive. When I first met him I thought that he was just passionate (he cried about something, I can’t remember what it was) and I was surprised and amazed that he was so open with his sensitivity; I liked that. That was short lived because I soon found that he cried about everything. And the crazy thing was that he is a cheater (he cried all the time to the mistress too). He has taught me that most times when it seems to be over the top and lacking a tinge of truth it is usually bullshit. I think that discribes bitchassedness. Other than that nonsense I think it’s ok for a man to show his genuine emotions; just like us I think it’s a release and everybody needs that sometimes.
“He has taught me that most times when it seems to be over the top and lacking a tinge of truth it is usually bullshit”
Tell that truth. This is how i look at any relationship-type situation I’m in, not just crying.
“She said that he cried when they had sex ‘ that was just so good’ and ‘ I just want to please you’”
Check please!!!!
This is game if I ever heard it.
““She said that he cried when they had sex ‘ that was just so good’ and ‘ I just want to please you’”
Check please!!!!
This is game if I ever heard it.”
***passover***
“I’ve seen her roll her eyes when he’s crying in front of a group of people about whatever. ”
ni99a what??!?! (blowing ref whistle) flag on the play…NO PERSON (especially an alleged “man”) should make CRYING sich a regular habit that people roll their eyes when you do it…this kinda pissed me off just reading it… THIS is not SENSITIVITY…this is B!TCH-ASS-NESS to the nth degree….
this kinda pissed me off just reading it… I mean it’s funny…but ony because it’s someone else’s man…lol… I’m mad now…(arms crossed, rolling neck and eyes) and he keeps getting girlfriends?? who does that??? really? boooooooo!!!!
Goodeness I swear I’m going to make you my publicist if I ever come upon fame…lol.
thanks girl…you know I will be down for it!
and he keeps getting girlfriends?? who does that??? really? boooooooo!!!!
@Goodness. And beautiful sistahs too. I don’t get it. It’s crazy. My friend is like avoiding all of my parties because she knows he’s gonna stalk her with current girlfriend there watching.
I tell. Every woman that he dates on our first meeting I give them the ‘girl we gotta talk’ as soon as possible; shit, I would want another mutha to warn me. With that said his current girlfriend is a beautiful girl; he’s been with her for two years. Aside from the fact that I’m nosey as hell, I just don’t get the attraction, so I ask. Well that’s a lie, I do get the attraction. He’s good looking and soooo smart. Well read and has seen the Color Purple. Which by the way is a sexy black man requirement. How else would you get my jokes? It’s ok though ’cause….
‘I’z married nah’
I see you jabbin the youngsters about their obvious lack of Black cinema classics…I bet they’ve seen all them damn Friday movies though…coonery!!
but I digress…
the sexy/smart combo will make a sista put up with alot…maybe even me…but not a crybaby…that takes the muhfuggin cale…adn he does it often and in public? I would be out like Rickey Smiley at a gay pride parade!
go go gadget EFF YOO!!!
See!! My hubbie and I had a disageement about this. I said his dude is just full of shit and not really that sensitive; nobody is that sensitive and that willing to show it. I think he uses it to stop women from tell his ass no. In which case is gangsta as hell. I mean how many women do you know would put up with a dude stalkin anotha while you are there.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s bad that most of the men on this board are getting teary eyed with the Disney movies. When my daughter and her dad together watching the disney princess fairy ballarina whatever i get all choked up.
uh uh…daddy/daughter watching is completely G-STYLE! I am getting choked up typing it…ok I am laughing too..but I’m just saying…
as far a Sir Cries Alot…nothing gangsta about it…if it’s game…it’s lame…he shouldn’t even want a girl he’s got to cry to…I repeat my previous comment….
(clearing throat)
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“My husband’s best friend cries for everything. His now ex is one of my very good friends…”
Is your husband’s best friend Cuba Gooding, Jr.???
LMAO I was thinking this too.
*stepping up on soapbox*
Cuba Gooding Jr. (in all his acting roles) is the perfect example of the man who crossed the line from sensitivity to bitchazzness. That’s right people I said it. I can’t stand his whining azz.. Look at Boyz N the Hood. His tears over the situation…totally justified. The way his crying manifested itself…biyotch. Lol Ridiculous. Sorry but I’ve been holding that in for years.
and he looks like a pit bull puppy…
sorry, I had been holding THAT in for years! lol
You ain’t lying. How that scene culminated in him getting some ass I’ll never know (and was I the only one disturbed when homegirl took her crucifix and turne it to the back of her neck? What, now God can’t see you?!) but if I were her I’d have been looking for a way to extricate myself from him after the second shadow punch was thrown.
Whatever. That was classic game at its finest. Shit, right after that movie I started just running up in chicks houses fighting the air and shedding a tear or two trying to see how many would let me touch their fannies.
Nevermind that I was only like 12. But I did touch me a fanny or two.
It really depends on the man and his personality. Usually I’m not attracted to sensitive man and it’s because the way that I grew up (my dad was in the military and has a tough exterior). My dad never shed a tear and none of the guys that i’ve dated have cried. I would probably say that a sensitive man is one who may cry during really tragic events like the loss of a family member/friend, tragedies, etc. He may be one who’s more in touch with his emotions. An overly sensitive man is one who cries a lot and for no reason, talks about his emotions all of the time, and who’s defensive about everything.
“…and who’s defensive about everything.”
this is one of my least favorite qualities that someone can possess
First…are we really going to allow “bitchassness” to be a part of black vernacular? I mean…tell me that we aren’t. Cause…oh never mind.
Moving on…
I often think that American’s imperfect facility with language is a huge part of the reason why we communicate so ineffectively. Sensitivity is about feeling, not communication. From what you’ve written, PJ, you seem like a sensitive man but you just aren’t necessarily a communicative one. Those are two very different things.
I do think you raise an interesting point which is that many women hang onto sexist notions of what a man should be even when they expect that man to completely abandon sexism toward her. This “cake and have it too”-ness is one of the greatest failings of popular feminism.
The other piece of this is that you raise an important point that men don’t know how to access their feelings. It’s not part of the American patriarchal socialization process. In fact, we are taught the opposite. When you come home from school and Troy busted you in ya eye, ya daddy AND ya momma tell you to dry them tears and whip his ass. When you come home from school and you cry because your parents erased all your VHS copies of He-Man, ya daddy AND ya momma tell you to shut the fuck up.
When you get your first heartbreak? Man up.
When you hurt yourself in sports? Man up.
Man and women fail their sons when they teach them that their emotions are not masculine. It is not a widely known fact – though it should be – that male babies are far more emotional than girl babies. So women are encouraged to be emotional (some might say too emotional) while men’s emotional sides are completely obliterated.
To answer the question…a man can never really step over the line from sensitive to too sensitive because there really is no such thing as too sensitive.
“Man and women fail their sons when they teach them that their emotions are not masculine.”
Thank you for articulating what I was thinking so much more clearly than I was planning to. lol I think that men are usually conditioned to suppress their emotions from an early age. Women are generally taught to express what they feel and honor/act on that.
“Sensitivity is about feeling, not communication.”
I can’t say I agree with this 100%. To me, sensitivity is about feeling but also about if and how these feelings are communicated.
You can’t communicate sensitivity. You communicate feelings. Sensitivity is the way in which your feelings tell you how seriously you should take them. Senitivity is about sensation. It’s about you. What you do with that sensation, that feeling, is something else entirely.
The sensitivity you are describing is individual. The concept of a sensitive man involves being able to tap into and commuicate those feelings in my opinion. It’s bigger than just the word sensitivity. Maybe there should be another word or term for it.
Tyler theorizes: “You can’t communicate sensitivity. Senitivity is about sensation.”
Wikipedias’ definitions…
Sensitivity: The capacity of an organ or organism to respond to stimulation.
Sensation: A perception associated with stimulation of a sense organ or with a specific body condition: the sensation of heat; a visual sensation.
Senses: (In short) Taste, smell, touch, hearing, seeing etc.
can’t say i agree with you here Tyler. all senses can be communicated by the feeling that they create. ok there are varying degrees of sensation but that doesn’t mean you can’t communicate them. that is a self limiting belief. even deaf, dumb and blind mutes can communicate sensations that they feel.
I think it’s probably a semantic issue we are having here. What I’m saying is that sensitivity itself is a feeling or, rather, the capacity to feel. What you communicate is the feeling itself, not the capacity to feel.
sense you like your definition of sensation, let me say that the well is unfathomable and enough to swallow a billion stars in expressing my scope.
thank you metaphor. heh, heh, heh…
I actually think you misunderstood what I was saying. Sensitivity can not be communicated because sensitivity is how one measures their feelings as you defined about it’s about capacity. The actually feeling that you are sensing is what is communicated.
My point again was to say that sensitivity isn’t what you communicate to your partner, your feelings and reactions are. Sensitivity is what allows you to interpret, measure, and understand your own feelings.
If a person says, “I told her how sensitive I am” that tells you nothing other than the fact that you have some undefined capacity to feel something. It doesn’t actually tell the other person what exactly you mean. It communicates nothing other than the fact that you CAN feel, not WHAT you feel.
LMAO!!!!
Genius, I’m going to personally buy you a VSB Varsity Debate Team jacket! You have just been made Captain of the VSB debate team! Congratulations!
so my spelling ability is decreasing with each post…lol
“First…are we really going to allow “bitchassness” to be a part of black vernacular? I mean…tell me that we aren’t. Cause…oh never mind.”
From my seats, it’s already a part of the black vernacular. Now it just has a tshirt and a sponsor.
“Man and women fail their sons when they teach them that their emotions are not masculine.”
I actually do agree with you here though. However, I also think that as a whole, despite what we should be learning, a man who shows his emotions is often going to be frowned upon by not only his male but his female peers.
In a crude way it goes to the notion of raising your kids for the world you want or the world you live in. I’ll teach my kids to explore their emotions, but that’s because I don’t want them trying to blow up shit when their 20 b/c mommy and daddy made them suppress who they were when they were 6.
Yea. I know it is. I just hate that we give Puffy so much power. Can’t stand that dude, never have. Plus the irony of Puffy calling someone else “bitchass” is something we don’t highlight enough. Is there anyone more obnoxious and “feminine” in the industry? I think we are too blinded by his money and influence to see what is plain. But I’m willing to concede that since I’ve never liked him I could be overstating.
I love that puffy came up with the perfect word to describe himself.
LMAO!!!!!
its not irony its the ultimate head fake, redirect attention from yourself by pointing out our bitch ass KneeGrows.
LMAO!!! Ironic indeed! LOL!
Tyler said
many women hang onto sexist notions of what a man should be even when they expect that man to completely abandon sexism toward her. This “cake and have it too”-ness is one of the greatest failings of popular feminism.
so true, so true.
T, much props on these assertions and the delivery.
I think that everything has its place and genesis. The assignment of gender roles is a universal phenomenon (even in animals). And for that reason I can’t dismiss the idea that perhaps their is a legitimate subtext behind these roles. Something that is grounded in truth and reality.
I quibble with your assertion that gender roles are universal.
The key difference between animal behavior and human behavior is that behavior is valued. Animals don’t place value on how a female behaves anymore than they do for a male. We do.
To wit, female animal species dominate in the animal kingdom, but male humans dominate. It’s worth noting that much of human history has been about “controlling” female behavior, marked as unwieldy and out of control.
You stay quibbling, Tyler. You stay quibbling.
T.,
“Quibble” does seem to be the appropriate word for your response but I don’t think that it accurately represents your intention. You have “quibbled” but I don’t see where you have addressed my points.
Placing a value on behavior is only a biproduct of mankind’s ability to reason. This, logically, does not negate the fact these roles would still exist.
Further, I pointed out that these roles exist in both humans and animals alike, not that the roles are defined in the same way (ie dominance). Simply put, female dominance among animals has no relevance to the discussion of whether gender roles exist. (The same should be said about your point regarding “‘controlling’ female behavior”)
Yes, I quibble a lot. I use the word because I don’t necessarily always totally disagree with what has been said so much as feel the need to add a dimension that I feel rounds out a person’s point of view and adds to the discussion.
That said, I addressed your point by making the point that by equating gendered behavior between animals and humans is problematic because behavior is a value judgment in humans and that makes it different. If the behavior was the same, then women would do the hunting and eat us after mating.
In many ways gendered human behavior is the exact opposite of nature. So if in fact there is “truth” in behavior it is only that we’ve succeeded as a species in socializing the reverse of nature.
I agree humans and animals behave differently. No argument there…I am simply saying that animals and humans both have roles assigned to gender which are primarily based on physical aptitude. I’m no genetecist nor zoologist… but I would think that this is pretty fundamental.
Yes but a lot of assigned gender roles in humans are not based on in-born traits.
No argument there either.
@ D*Stroy aka D*Pain ~for the most part Gender Roles in humans are learned. A child does not know what is masculine or feminine until we assign that designation to them. A male child playing with a doll or female child playing with trucks doesnt know the difference until someone informs them that their gender role censures them from doing so. I will agree that some of it is natural but for the most part it is learned.
D* Scribes: ” Simply put, female dominance among animals has no relevance to the discussion of whether gender roles exist.”
salute!
D* Mote, D* Throne, D* Bunk, D* Flower….
Tyler imbues: “Animals don’t place value on how a female behaves anymore than they do for a male. We do.”
do non human animals palce value on mating and reproduction where it concerns male and female behavior?
I don’t think so. But I suppose that natural selection can be argued as a value judgment in the sense that the “best” traits in the opposite gender are sought out in mating. However, sense value has a lot to do with reasoning and animals don’t reason, I still think that animals don’t value those traits. But I’m willing to concede that this is a very fine distinction I’m making.
Tyler concedes: “But I suppose that natural selection can be argued as a value judgment in the sense that the “best” traits in the opposite gender are sought out in mating. However, sense value has a lot to do with reasoning and animals don’t reason, I still think that animals don’t value those traits. But I’m willing to concede that this is a very fine distinction I’m making.”
“power concedes nothing without demand.” Frederick Douglas
i’m not demanding just posing questions and employing a lil deductive reasoning.
i’m not sure if i understand exactly what you are conceding. …and nice play on words btw. (sense) i have to admit that your first two sentences read contradictory but maybe we have unearthed another paradox.
Intelligence is the ability to make finer distinctions, to know the subtle differences between things. this is my accepted definition, unorthodox as it may be.
interesting, very very interesting.
thank you for your response, kind sir.
I just use the term “concede” to suggest that I’m less sure of what I’m arguing that I am otherwise. Also – it denotes that the fine distinctions mean that ultimately folks can agree to disagree without it being about right or wrong.
I think it is a paradox because my reasoning rests on the assumption that animals don’t reasons. One could argue that this assumption is the supreme egotism of humankind. One could make the argument that natural selection is in fact a value judgment because animals are discerning in their choice of mate. However, I still wonder if that discerning falls along gender lines. But again, that could be my human egotism.
@Genius,
check. mate. that point was essential.
well played G.K, well played!
in some aspects of nature the species conforms to meet the needs of the genus to continue to propagate… if no male or female is available the species will convert itself to self preserve the species (true in some plant, insect, and animals).
@Tyler. I gotta know… are you a preacher or a preachers kid? Your vocabulary is retardedly large!!!
Nope. I’m a heathen. Religion: freaky.
This “cake and have it too”-ness is one of the greatest failings of popular feminism.
that ain’t feminism. that’s the backlash against feminism talking. </feministrant>
Hmmm. It depends on what you mean.
I think part of the issue with feminism is that black women’s unique perspective on gender dymanics was subsumed in the upper class white woman perspective that men were evil and that work was good. As such, I think subsequent women, black women in particular, have had a hard time finding the value in a feminist point of view. This is unfortunate.
That said, my point was to say that you are not a feminist if you think that only male behavior must change. Pinning masculinity to whether or not a man effectively restrains natural emotion is sexist. Just because you want him not to call you a “bitch,” hit you, and allow you to work is not enough to be truly a feminist woman. In the same way black people have to divest of internal racism to help end racism, so too do women have to divest of sexist thinking about what a “man” is in order to end patriarchy. Sure it sucks. It seems unfair. But it’s the way it is. This of course does not mean that women have to do the bulk of the work to end sexism anymore than black people have to do the bulk of the work to end racism. Quite the contrary. But it’s not “one or the other”. It’s “both.”
I do agree with all comments here that extreme emotion is unattractive, unhealthy, and shouldn’t be gendered. That said, it often is.
i mean just what i said: “having your cake and eating it too-ism” is not a failing of feminism.
it’s what anti-feminists trotted out to make women feel better about staying in our prescribed gender roles because we’ve now we’ve “chosen to” do it.
Ahhh. True enough. And I agree.
My point was only that women who subscribe to this point of view and think of themselves as feminism are wrong.
Just a question to throw out there. I work with children (inner city at risk whatever) and the boys are more ‘sensitive’ in that they cry more, need/ask for more hugs, say I love you more frequently and pout/tempertantrum more. These actions are frequently assigned to boys being immature. What do you guys think of the validity of that assignation?
It is totally true.
Boys are actually just as emotionally needy as are women. And actually in a patriarchal society such as ours, boys are left adrift far more than women. This flies in the face of the assumption that patriarchy only harms women. In the same way racism impacts differently for black men and black women, so tpo does institutionalized sexism impact men and women differently.
OK to be more specific. Do you think emotionality and crying is a function of maturity? As you age you get less weepy?
I will say I would cry instantaneously as a child and my dad said it killed him so I had to stop. And honestly I was embarrassed because I would have tears rolling down my face when I was mad or not sad or whatever. I felt like I couldn’t control it. I was basically asked to man up and I did. So I don’t think that its only boys who are taught not to cry. Do you think its a part of growing up, as in you’re too old to cry now?
I think crying as the sole signifier of how sensitive or emotional one is or can be is imperfect. But I think it’s a proxy here because it’s the one thing that is often involuntary and as such denotes a certain lack of control that does play into our understanding of how gender contructs work.
Meaning that people’s response to a man crying has everything to do with their assumption about his masculinity and almost nothing to do with his emotional well-being.
That said, I do think that both genders have shame around crying as we get older for precisely the reason I state above — crying is, largely, involuntary.
I don’t think you are ever too old to cry. I think its healthy. It’s a release. But I am not so perfect as to suggest that I’m the perfectly non-sexist man who cries at will openly. I don’t. But when I do, I am not ashamed.
ok. I feel you. but besides just crying, do you think that the fact that boys (children) are more openly emotional that girls is a factor of their maturity. Or is that a socially constructed gender bias that we’ve developed that is harming children?
I’m really interested in peoples thought b.c. i just realized that i took it part and parcel that crying and emotionality meant immaturity in boys and was a sign of it. But is this really true?
oh yeah…and going back to whip some ass after a fight is not gender specific… I was raised this way…and it only happened once…I won’t start a fight…but I will damn sure finish one!
good for you!
Tyler…I love you like a play cousin by marriage…but I gotta say…there is such a thing as too sensitive…and it’s not gender specific…sensitivity to the point of counter-productivity is too sensitive…
for example, if a person cannot carry on a conversation centered on constructive criticism or conflict resolution because their feeling are hurt and the hone in on the “hurtful” statements as opposed to the motivations/actions/speech that led to said “hurtful” comment, then the original intent of the communication in that exchange has been lost…new issues have been created…and therefore counterproductive…the initial issue the required resolution was buried in the noise of emotional response instead of the message being heard and responded to with a rational, effective reply…
that’s all I’m saying…
Ahhh. Good point.
I agree. What I meant was that one is never too sensitive that he/she is “bitchass” (i really hate that word)
I got a kwerstchun for you Tyler…you is a big typing @ss dude…do you get ANY work done?
lol…no for real though.. do you?
I’m a multi-tasker. And I type very fast.
and it’s been a slow couple of days. I’m having fun mixin it up on here but don’t be surprised if i disappear for a couple of days for just this reason.
man…my attractions are cerebral and NOTHING put an arch in my back like relevant debates on sociological constructs in the context of modern society…mmm mmm mmmm!
I just want to repeat…
smart guys…YUMMY…
Hey T.,
You clearly know your ish about issues of gender and socialization. Question for you: Do you think Sexism is the same as the establisment of gender roles?
Just wanted to hear your perspective
Not really. Patriarchy is the system, sexism is the behavior and complex web of rules and doctrine that keeps the system up and running. In the same way that white supremacy is the system, and racism is the behavior and complex web of rules and doctrine that keeps the system up and running.
I guess I’m wondering if you view gender roles as sexist?
“First…are we really going to allow “bitchassness” to be a part of black vernacular? I mean…tell me that we aren’t. Cause…oh never mind.”
Amen! Amen to the whole reply, actually.
As with all things, it’s about context. A man who is manly can get away with being sensitive, versus a man whose virility is suspect in the door. He needs to keep a stiff upper lip and, if all else fails, grab his balls in the face of adversity.
As to whether or not women actually want a sensitive man, I stopped trying to figure that out at about the same time I figured out why I couldn’t call myself from my home number.
Put another way, the shit doesn’t matter.
“A man who is manly can get away with being sensitive, versus a man whose virility is suspect in the door”
please expound
Men who exist outside of the “suspect” space have greater latitude to display vulnerability, pain, empathy and general emotional availability.
Men who are deemed “suspect,” whether or not they are, aren’t given this latitude.
Of course, the construction of black masculinity (in the West) informs this discussion.
“Men who exist outside of the “suspect” space have greater latitude to display vulnerability, pain, empathy and general emotional availability.
Men who are deemed “suspect,” whether or not they are, aren’t given this latitude.
Of course, the construction of black masculinity (in the West) informs this discussion.”
i agree with everything you just said
MAN! I was waiting on this to come out (no pun intended)…in non-Western cultures, masculinity is a secure concept that allows men to show affection (not eros, mind you) for each other and not be viewed as homo-…GREAT point… (swoon)
LH, I don’t even understand what you just said…. but I LIKE IT!!!! j/k… but that sh*t was some articulate and insightful sh*t!
Q: So sensitive good people of VSB.com, my homies, just what is a sensitive man and at what point does a man step over the point of being sensitive to exhibiting true b*itchassness?”
A: where we draw the line between a man being sensitive (acceptably) and stepping over the line to bitchassness (unacceptably) is subjective, a judgement call for each individual to make.
…maybe this narrows it down though.
there are many triggers for emotion and the ones most people take exception to regarding a man i think are the ones where crying, bitching, pouting or emoting is motivated by sadness.
sometimes a man can be in a seemingly sad situation (like a funeral) and drop a tear that is still not motivated by sadness but pride or anger. (proud of a parent and motivated and sworn to show the world their legacy) …and still i’m not saying there is anything wrong with a tear of sadness. fuck it happems.
…also there is a differnce between full on crying, sobbing uncontrolably and a lil weepy. (ya know like when you can’t control ur breathing and start sucking air in spurts like hiccups and shit.)
this is conduct very unbecoming of a man and loss of man points (a boy maybe)
a couple two tree tears is a whole nother thing thing but its all about what motivates it and how it manifests. is it anger, pride, happiness?
…or is it sadness, weakness, helplessness? (context, like is it POW torture or just general life issues like a girlfriend, wifey etc.) your slip is showing b. tighten up your girdle man! LOL!
it seems very telling how often a man cries in mixed company too.
Young Buck was crying cause he was broke as hell and 5th wasn’t sharing his meals with Buck at that particular time. (that was some funny confrused convo and shit)
…and yeah what’s that got to do with the price of weed in Compton? again,notta.
u know, this is the 1st time in a long time that i didn’t find someone elses post as a jump-off point for my tirades.
as for hate, it is apathy which vexes me.
“as for hate, it is apathy which vexes me.”
co-sign. i’d rather be around an over emotional person than one who always acts as if nothing can ever, ever affect them.
” one who always acts as if nothing can ever, ever affect them.”
Champ, didn’t you say last entry, or the entry before, that this is basically you?
“Champ, didn’t you say last entry, or the entry before, that this is basically you?”
I think PR just got you! ha ha ha!!!
i did…this is why i’d never date myself, lol
damn…(smh)…that sucks! (and not in a good way)
also…friday’s entry wasn’t about not caring…its about intentionally not showing emotion when someone is doing an act where they’re obviously calling for it. i’ll show emotion, i just dont want to be “baited” into doing it by someone else, if this makes any sense
perfecto! thank you…I was about to cross you off my “future e-ex-husbands” list… (whew! that was close) lol
thank you! I was reading that with a stink face, cuz I JUST read that ish…
not answering for Champ but I have been told that i can be very apahetic.
…at the same time i don’t like to see apathy personified in response/realtion to my works.
Q: does this mean i hate this part of myself?
A: no, not really.
it is however ironic and perhaps a paradox.
Well put!
I agree with the Khan . . . The def of Sensitivity is subjective – a sensitive moments for some men are a season (RT), for others it’s a natural disaster (young buck), then there are others who start crying when they wake up in the morning (baby face) – it really depends on a mans triggers (puppies, babies, ragweed). It’s difficult to define however I think we can all agree the more triggers a man has – the more bitchassness he has in him . . .
I have to agree with this. Some men can get away with more sensitivity than others. One of my guy friends who’s very masculine cried at the end of the Notebook and shares his emotions and noone said anything because he’s very masculine, played ball for his school, and can get away with it. Prince is another guy that gets away with a lot. He’s the only that can dress like that and noone says anything.
Prince is a teeny tiny testosterone factory. And I love his speaking voice. I think he has love potion number 9.
PRINCE is sex appeal on legs…they say never look him (or Badu) in the eye…his persona a obviously androgynous, but his demeanor is innately masculine…all MAN, without question… the 8th wonder of the world!
“demeanor is innately masculine”
Sorry GOODies but man in stillettos is innately b*tchass. Please believe me, believe me please!
i love the tangents . . . someone should map the subjects of the randomness or/and develop a VSB horoscope based on on speed and rate randomness of fore mentioned tangents.
we are a colorful bunch, are we not? lol
@D…(mister stroy if you’re nasty) I agree the footwear is purple majesty a la drag queen…that’s persona…the fact that he can rock them…and no one behave as though it’s out of the ordinary for a beautiful, petite man to bust into a split in 3inch heels is what is so fuggin DOPE, and therefore innately masculine…no one second guesses the patron of paisely park! no one!
LMAO! Look, I’m just saying that if that lil’ elf @ss n*gga came skipping his happy @ss around your block wearing purple crushed velvet with sequens…he would definitely be considered b*tched-up! The clown is on stage, so noone says sh*t. He also makes some great music.
you must want to meet this alligator in the swamp…over thre blaspheming PRINCE! are you serious?? nobody says ish about his apparel because he is PRINCE…he’s a GANGSTER…he is not an “elf”..he does not “skip”…the reason he is so fuggin awesome is that HE IS THE ONLY DUDE THAT CAN GET AWAY WITH THAT ISH!
I know you are only allowing your inner hater to shine through because you are mad that you can’t wear a black lace blouse, a cowboy hat with a veil, and 4 inch stillettos…not be considered “gay” and STILL pull the baddest chicks in the game! I know…(hugging you and rubbing you back) it’s ok, D..it’s ok…let it out…
LOL….and I bet your (self proclaimed, although I think I might agree) fine ass this much…I bet as big of a velvet wearing clown as THINK he is…his grown royal purple passion wasn’t crying at the muhfuggin Lion King…
LMAO @ “lil’ elf @ss n*gga “
@D*stroy. I can’t believe you are hating on the purple icon. You are the worst. And you called him an elf???? WOW (Flav-Flav). You better be at least 6 feet talking about Prince like that.
BTW– I’m 6’6″ and he is an elf… better yet a purple pipsqueak who licks his fingertips and rubs his nipples to please others…not cool. not cool at all.
how about just having a man with sensitivity rather than a sensitive man. that makes things easier for me all around.
im ok with a man crying – just the when and why he is crying is the issue.
Cheryl says: “how about just having a man with sensitivity rather than a sensitive man.”
there is a difference. i feel ya. …and didn’t Ralph Tresvant sing lead on that song? heh, heh, heh…
meh.
I dont want a sensitive guy. I’m not a “sensitive” person either, hell I myself have a hard time crying at times when tears are expected, if not necessary for sanity. I have a problem showing hurt. I don’t want my man to have mood swings, breakdowns, insecurity. I don’t want him to be indecisive or worried about shit that put-together people dont have to worry about. A man who holds everything inside is bitchass to me too, because he’s afraid of confronting something that may be controllable.
I dont mind a dude that knows how to enjoy a good sunset, that craves silence and beauty, that revels in art, that closes his eyes and smiles at music. I dont see that as “sensitive.” I see it as appreciative. Crying doesnt accurately portray sensitivity to me, either, because there are universal moments when tears are called for. Graduations. Deaths. Heartbreaks. But cry because we’re having an argument? Sir…
What I do want is for a man to have no qualms with VERBALIZING what he feels. “Baby, what’s wrong?” could be answered with “Eh. Shit. I’m unsettled inside, I guess it’s because of ___. Nothing I can’t handle. You know I get quiet when I need to sort shit out.” That’s not sensitive, that’s understanding yourself and not being afraid to let me in on it.
I guess that’s what I need and require — for him to UNDERSTAND himself, be in tune with his actions, reactions and consequences, and be willing to verbalize on it. That way I know what to expect, how to react, how to take care of you… even if it means leaving you alone for 3 days, except to sneak in and leave a bottle of jwb and my panties on your table.
Women may not understand that a sensitive guy can just as easily be the one who is saying “No. Nothing. Nothings wrong.” then taking it out on you later. A sensitive guy is someone who breaks up with you at every argument because he thinks that you dont love him anymore, and hed rather dump you first than let you dump him. A sensitive guy is someone who takes offense to everything you say, or is jealous of you hanging out with your friends, or tells you he loves you 3 days into dating. No, thank you. Give me an eloquent speaker with a closed heart over a bitchass with a pouring soul any day.
“Give me an eloquent speaker with a closed heart over a bitchass with a pouring soul any day.”
Thank you madam. This sums it up for me.
100.
Thank you. This is exactly what I want and what I wanted to say.
Let the church say AMEN
so ya’ll all want heartless yet articulate men?
if I had to choose? Yep.
Why you trying to generalize everything, champ? Isnt that were most miscommunication happens? >:[
Just saying, men think women want sensitive men, and maybe women think women want sensitive men — we just want a man to be able to tell us what he’s feeling. You don’t need to be bruised with soft spots all over to be able to articulate your emotional status.
“Why you trying to generalize everything, champ?”
ummm…
““Give me an eloquent speaker with a closed heart over a bitchass with a pouring soul any day.””
…didn’t you just type this?
oh, and by “ya’ll all” i meant “you three in the comments” not “all women”
if those are the 2 options yes. However I was mostly co-signing on what she had mentioned prior to that quote.
What I do want is for a man to have no qualms with VERBALIZING what he feels. “Baby, what’s wrong?” could be answered with “Eh. Shit. I’m unsettled inside, I guess it’s because of ___. Nothing I can’t handle. You know I get quiet when I need to sort shit out.” That’s not sensitive, that’s understanding yourself and not being afraid to let me in on it.
I guess that’s what I need and require — for him to UNDERSTAND himself, be in tune with his actions, reactions and consequences, and be willing to verbalize on it. That way I know what to expect, how to react, how to take care of you… even if it means leaving you alone for 3 days, except to sneak in and leave a bottle of jwb and my panties on your table.
Women may not understand that a sensitive guy can just as easily be the one who is saying “No. Nothing. Nothings wrong.” then taking it out on you later.
Mainly it was the verbalizing thingie but i replied to the wrong post.
***outreach ministry***
no. . . heartless and packing men f*ck the articulate part. (Just kidding)
TOTALLY OFF TOPIC~
I was just ( jokingly) reprimanded for laughing too loud in my office, the thing is my office is literally in a far corner (extremely inconspicuous), and I am by myself.
I may have to keep the door shut
Hedo thats what vsb.commer’s will do for that azz. keep lol lovely.
This made me smile.
How sensitive a man is to me is based on how sensitive the girl he is dealing with is. Me personally I’d cut a ninja off if he cried to the Lion King, where as my sis would probably cry with him. You can’t be sensitive if your girl isn’t. . . this equals Bitchasness at its finest. Just find a broad ur tougher than and you won’t look 2 sensitive, plain and simple!
good point
sad but true…LOL…good one …
hamma…don’t hurt’em…
couldn’t help it…I just couldn’t help it!
I cried when I got bucked down right at the end of the last level on Black playing on Hard. I was just about to take that last step when blamblamblamblam screen turns grey and MISSION FAILED flashed across the screen. That was real pain. I was one step from unlocking Black Ops mode and the silver weapons and it was all taken away from me by the swarm of solders I was running from. It was so painful I was forced to smoke the blunt I had rolled before I started playing that level. If you don’t understand that kind of pain I don’t want to know you or any of your associates.
seriously, the last time I cried was when my grandma died a few years ago. I get close to it when I think about the fact that my surviving grandparents are also of ill health. At this point the thoughts of losing those people are the only thing that makes my eyes water. I can deal with anything else. If a man doesn’t well up at the thought of losing people he has known and loved all of his life he has serious issues. He probly eats babies or some crap like that.
I am sensitive to some things but I don’t really think of myself as a sensitive guy. And there are a few acceptable reasons for a guy to get all teary and/or sensitive. I’ll still probly call you a bitch tho (depending on the reason). In fact I’m pretty positive I’ll call you a bitch. I’m a huge asshole.
“Sensitive thugs, you all need hugs…”
Being sensitive does not a pansy make. You can show sensitivity with out crying at the drop of a hat. Sometimes it’s just an “I got you” or a well placed hand on a friend’s shoulder. We don’t have to “Cry together” like the O’Jays…
On the flip side, trying to act like you “ain’t never scared” is not a good look either. People will think you’re overcompensating.
i hardly ever cry, so if a dude got all teary-eyed on me i’d be kinda awkward… like, “it’s okay… *looks for exit*” i kid. if his mother just died and the dude was crying, that’s understandable. crying in the middle of mariah carey’s hero is not. not because he’s supposed to, but if my niece doesn’t cry at that, there’s no need for you to be bawling like an infant either.
i’m all for talking about emotions and feelings too. just not while i’m watching the wire or 24 or some shit.
Here are some legitimate reasons for G to cry:
1. “All that I got is you” by GhostFace Killah. This song will take you to a place you don’t want to be.
2. “You Saved Me” by R. Kelly. If you ever been through some real sh*t and you are god fearing… this song is bound to f*ck you up.
3. When they shot down “Ricky in Boy in the Hood.” He was on his way to college and sh*t…DAMN YOU, COMPTON STREET TUFFS! DAMN YOU!
4. “Dear Mama” by 2Pac. “Though you were a crackfeind, mama. You always were a black queen, mama.” ‘Nuff said.
5. “See you at the cross roads” by Bone Thugz n’ harmony and “I wish” by R.Kelly. If you’ve ever lost a soldier in the struggle these joints are going to hit you in your left ventricle. I personally haven’t lost any body to the streets but if I did these songs would hurt me bad.
@ D*Stroy aka D*Pain~ I’m going to need you to stop typing now. I mean is this your comeback from admitting that Simba et.al had you all verclempt? Step away from the computer.
btw #3-5 LMAO!!!!
LOL! Why you gotta bring up old sh*t? …you make me sick.
OMG that is my ex’s favorite thing to say “why you got to bring up old (past) sh*t? …now who is making who sick? Thanks for bringing me back~where is my therapists phone number?
Wait…i thought YOU were the therapist??!?!?!
PJ~any therapist worth their degree has a therapist. (haven’t you seen the Sopranos?) and technically I am not a therapist, I advise and counsel students all day long on life decisions they have made, are about to make. I have a degree in counseling and a couch, besides they make it look real easy on tv, really how hard can it be?
@D*Stroy. I really think you should go back in retirement. Just for a little while. After today, I just see you as a huge @ss crybaby. (SMH)
I will say that I did shed a tear the first time I really heard “I Wish” by R.Kelly. That would be in August 2000 shortly after what can only be described as the worst night of my entire life. It’s a record that still stands to this day and I’m not sure it will ever go away.
So yeah, D*Pain, I’m with you on “I Wish”. A brotha shed a tear off that one…
And Simba rules!
***disclaimer***
alright…you have a “moment” assigned to a shullbit song..then I give a pass…but “I wish” for the sake of “I wish”-ing is NOT a tear jerker…
NO FUGGIN WAY…R. Kelly and “inspirational” music do not mix…it’s so on purpose it stinks like piss…D*STROY, please tell me you are fuggin kiddin me??? anytime I hear the R in R&B over a gospel-esque bed, I change the station so fast I almost break a nail!
I CALL BULLSH!T ON HOLY R-KELLY!
i second that G. that man is a pedoph*le…and i don’t care what nobody says!
im going to make you a mixtape and just sit there and watch you cry
Well, I don’t mind a man who cries for good reason. Say… a death in the family… a break up… extreme joy for one reason or another. But, if dude is crying because his girl won’t call him back or because he saw puppies running through the park and thought that was beautiful, that’s a borderline itch-bay.
A man who can say how he feels and is direct about that is cool with me. But no whining… it’s a thin line.
Sensitivity is cool as long as you’re a man with your sensitivity-ocity.
Yes, yes. I believe all that made perfect sense.
“Sensitivity is cool as long as you’re a man with your sensitivity-ocity.”
LOL! and I understood it…
This site is really hilarious!
Funny we blogged on this one at P.O.S.H. a few weeks ago.
http://www.poshlifeposhstyle.com/2008/06/nice-guys-finish-last.html
Women want a man with a hint of Ronnie Romance we don’t want a pussy. When women say they want a bad boy we really mean we want you to be strong enough to check us and not us walk all over you in our Jimmy Choos (while midly erotic….its generally not a good look).
If we are getting out of pocket we want you to be able to stand your ground and tell us take 5 and evaluate our behavior. Stand up for us in public and give us your opinion.
Ground worshiping is great….but you get tired of wiping your feet on the same doormat.
I don’t want an overly sensitive man. I don’t even like an overly sensitive woman for a friend. I don’t trust a man that talks too much and any dude crying over movies and all that shyt is gonna make me feel like I can kick his ass. That’s a recipe for disaster, seeing as though I love myself the BigMens and I’m a lil’ lady. Give me the stereotypical strong, silent type, please and thank you.