Lists

Let’s Go Out On A Date!

So I came across this article on CNN.com and I’ll be damned if it ain’t perfect for our little corner of the Internet.  Now, most of you have gone out on dates before.  Some of you have not; it’s okay, you still have time.  You’ll probably grow out of your face at some point.

Zing!

Them’s jokes.  VSB.com only attractes the highest caliber of mirrorability.  So.  I maintain, most of us have gone out on first dates.  Well, according to CNN.com, here are 6 things that you shouldn’t do on a first date (it doesn’t mention pulling out your schlong and attempting to place it on her forehead, but if you read between the lines…it’s there).

Gander.

1. Introduce unfamiliar grooming regimens into your routine. Never had a Brazilian wax? Today’s not the day to try it. Ditto to shelling out for that new, expensive, zit-zapping, wrinkle-eradicating, sun-damage-reversing miracle cleanser you read about in Allure. Sure, both of these things might work out well, but there’s also the possibility you’ll be left with festering scabs, ingrown hairs, or worse.

If you’re prone to festering scabs AND giving it up on the first night, then I’m with CNN.com.  Just…ewww.

3. Get liquored up first. I know you’re tense, but guzzling three martinis before you meet him is not a good idea. You probably haven’t eaten all day and the combination of stress, hunger and booze is not a good one. Because I’m not completely heartless, you can have up to one glass of wine. But no more. Promise me — no more!

Do, however, get liquored up AFTERwards.  What better way to break the ice than with liquor induced conversation.  Plus it gives you a better excuse when you give it up on the first night….assuming of course you can’t find your panties and you decide to just let him touch your booty!  Score.

4. Not eat if you’re on a dinner date. Women always think they look dainty picking at a small green salad with just a lemon wedge while their date plows through the surf & turf. Wrong. They just look sad, hungry and possibly eating disordered. Even if you’re spazzing on the inside, skip the bunny food and order a normal human-sized meal.

This is important.  If you’re not going to eat, then we’re not going to a restaurant.  Point blank. Period.  We can just skip the theatrics and go straight for the funnin’.  If you’re not going to eat like a rabbit (salad), then I suppose you may as well just f*ck like one.

6. Play make-believe. When you drop lies designed to impress — like claiming to be a Foucault scholar or are actually Johnny Cash’s second cousin — it’s pretty much a given that you’re going to get busted. Either your date will turn out to be some kind of philosophically minded smarty-pants and want to debate you, or he’ll be Johnny Cash’s third cousin, wondering why you weren’t at the last family reunion.

Eh, if you’re just trying to procure panties, just lie.  It’s more effective.  She probably wouldn’t date you if she knew the real you.  Think, 40-Year-Old Virgin.

*******

I let CNN.com do the dirty work today, but what are some other do’s and don’ts for going on a first date?  And yes, everybody knows one should “be themself” so keep that one.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka MR. MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK

ADMIN. NOTES:

1) The Champ and I will be featured on a Battle of the Sexes feature on Juice Radio Thursday swith Miz D and Real Talk Now at 730pm this evening.  You can check out the show here:  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/juiceradio

Check it out as men and women discuss their gripes with one another.  The Champ and I do this stupendously since women are all crazy.

2)  The DC VSB Happy Hour will be taking place next Wednesday, November 12 starting at 6pm at Mahogany Restaurant and Lounge @ Bohemian Caverns, 11th and U Street, NW, Washington, DC.  I’ll send more information out to everybody via evite with the emails that were sent to me.  But mark your calenders.  Next Wednesday.  6-10pm.  I’ll try to come up with some drink specials too…

Filed Under: , ,
Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

    Don’t tell your whole life dayum story. As much as I love to hear/tell a great story, I don’t want to get that deep into your history when we aren’t even “like that” yet. Keep the fare light, please and thank you.

    I’ve marked my calendar for the DC VSB thingy-ma-jib. I’ll be down there, people-watching and drankin’ as usual.

    • 8th Wonder

      “I’ve marked my calendar for the DC VSB thingy-ma-jib. I’ll be down there, people-watching and drankin’ as usual.”

      Overit and I will definitely be in the house.

      Yes Overit, I did just speak for you, lol.

      • http://cntrlz.wordpress.com overit

        Overit and I will definitely be in the house.

        Yes Overit, I did just speak for you, lol.

        lol, good call 8th. i’ll be there:)

        • Lil’T

          Me too. If I can ever find my way out of PG….
          lol.

          • overit

            Do it Lil ‘T. I mean, we don’t want to upstage the Chi town happy hour but it prob can’t be helped;)

            Luv ya Luvvies!

            • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

              I dont feel the Luv, Overit. I dont feel it not one bit.

              • overit

                You must feel it! I send glitter blessings every time you make me laugh at work, which is like every hour. We’ll make it up to you come January. IG chapters of the world unite!

              • overit

                You must feel it! I send glitter blessings every time you make me laugh at work, which is like every hour. We’ll make it up to you come January. IG chapters of the world unite!

            • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

              I dont feel the Luv, Overit. I dont feel it not one bit.

          • overit

            Do it Lil ‘T. I mean, we don’t want to upstage the Chi town happy hour but it prob can’t be helped;)

            Luv ya Luvvies!

        • Lil’T

          Me too. If I can ever find my way out of PG….
          lol.

      • http://cntrlz.wordpress.com overit

        Overit and I will definitely be in the house.

        Yes Overit, I did just speak for you, lol.

        lol, good call 8th. i’ll be there:)

    • 8th Wonder

      “I’ve marked my calendar for the DC VSB thingy-ma-jib. I’ll be down there, people-watching and drankin’ as usual.”

      Overit and I will definitely be in the house.

      Yes Overit, I did just speak for you, lol.

    • http://sinceursonosey.wordpress.com Tani Joy

      I’m with you, I don’t care that you were the MVP for your Jr high school team… Nicca you are 29, and unemployed. The NBA is not your friend lol

    • http://sinceursonosey.wordpress.com Tani Joy

      I’m with you, I don’t care that you were the MVP for your Jr high school team… Nicca you are 29, and unemployed. The NBA is not your friend lol

  • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

    Don’t tell your whole life dayum story. As much as I love to hear/tell a great story, I don’t want to get that deep into your history when we aren’t even “like that” yet. Keep the fare light, please and thank you.

    I’ve marked my calendar for the DC VSB thingy-ma-jib. I’ll be down there, people-watching and drankin’ as usual.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    you guys need to have an inauguration day bash….I am definitely planning on being in DC for that….

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      I was thinking this also.

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      I was thinking this also.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      that is true…i’ll keep you posted…since SO many folks will be in DC we’ll have to do something or other…

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        Damn, I’ve been calling around the DC area and damn near every hotel is booked.

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          (light bukb goes off above my head) that just means that local VSB-ers need to start running security checks on us non-local VSB-ers so we can have sleep overs all over the DMV.. goodeness@gmail.com I am coming to an area near you and I need a place to crash, let’s UNITE here people…SI SE PUEDE! (and shit)

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          (light bukb goes off above my head) that just means that local VSB-ers need to start running security checks on us non-local VSB-ers so we can have sleep overs all over the DMV.. goodeness@gmail.com I am coming to an area near you and I need a place to crash, let’s UNITE here people…SI SE PUEDE! (and shit)

        • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor miss patterson

          monk, I’ll send you some links via myspace to check out for housing.

        • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor miss patterson

          monk, I’ll send you some links via myspace to check out for housing.

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        Damn, I’ve been calling around the DC area and damn near every hotel is booked.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      that is true…i’ll keep you posted…since SO many folks will be in DC we’ll have to do something or other…

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    you guys need to have an inauguration day bash….I am definitely planning on being in DC for that….

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    I havent been on a first date in so long…

    I would say, Dont try any new lotions, creams, soap or makeup.. I did this before a presentation and broke out in hives…it was not pretty and I am sure that all that scratching made everyone else uncomfortable

    Dont try out your brand new come f!ck me pumps…as I recall on dates you always end up walking some where and nothing pi$$es a man off more than a woman who did not dress appropriately and is complaining the whole time

    a caveat to the comment above do dress appropriately for the occassion. If you are going to the zoo you do not need to be in skin tight skirt and 5 inch heels orbetter yet having to walk barefoot because you wore the wrong shoes that shyt is tacky as he.ll( I saw this up close and personal at the fair, I mean really? you at the fair in your video vixen best 5 inch heels and all?)

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      “I saw this up close and personal at the fair, I mean really? you at the fair in your video vixen best 5 inch heels and all?”

      This reminds me of the chick I saw in the grocery store last weekend in high heels, leggings w/her tittays out in a low cut top. I was like “For real, club gear to buy frozen waffles?? Safeway got a dance floor in the back? Who’s spinnin’??”

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Alise in Chains

        Who’s spinnin’??”

        DJ Clueless and Funk Master Mess

        • 8th Wonder

          “Funk Master Mess”

          L-M-A-O

          • http://cntrlz.wordpress.com overit

            lmao @ Funk Master Mess.

          • http://cntrlz.wordpress.com overit

            lmao @ Funk Master Mess.

        • 8th Wonder

          “Funk Master Mess”

          L-M-A-O

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          Funk Master Mess. Alise, u STOOPID! lol

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          Funk Master Mess. Alise, u STOOPID! lol

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Alise in Chains

        Who’s spinnin’??”

        DJ Clueless and Funk Master Mess

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        Must’ve been Halloween…chicks LOVE to dress like hoes on Halloween.

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          Must’ve been Halloween…chicks LOVE to dress like hoes on Halloween.

          you aint lying

          I mean it always amazes me how many chicks come in 1 piece jumpsuits with a kitten head band or some type of black spandex tube dress talking about I’m cat woman or Im a video girl(wtf when did this become a costume).. no ma’am you a chick that is using halloween to be on some ho shyt at work…

          • http://cntrlz.wordpress.com overit

            you aint lying

            I mean it always amazes me how many chicks come in 1 piece jumpsuits with a kitten head band or some type of black spandex tube dress talking about I’m cat woman or Im a video girl(wtf when did this become a costume).. no ma’am you a chick that is using halloween to be on some ho shyt at work…

            shoutout to the H.H.I.C (head howes in charge)

            Charles loves ya.

          • http://cntrlz.wordpress.com overit

            you aint lying

            I mean it always amazes me how many chicks come in 1 piece jumpsuits with a kitten head band or some type of black spandex tube dress talking about I’m cat woman or Im a video girl(wtf when did this become a costume).. no ma’am you a chick that is using halloween to be on some ho shyt at work…

            shoutout to the H.H.I.C (head howes in charge)

            Charles loves ya.

          • Peyso

            I need to work where u work

          • Peyso

            I need to work where u work

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          Must’ve been Halloween…chicks LOVE to dress like hoes on Halloween.

          you aint lying

          I mean it always amazes me how many chicks come in 1 piece jumpsuits with a kitten head band or some type of black spandex tube dress talking about I’m cat woman or Im a video girl(wtf when did this become a costume).. no ma’am you a chick that is using halloween to be on some ho shyt at work…

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          It was the day after Halloween, so if she was pulling “Halloween Ho-tivity”, she was not only a garden tool, she was a stank one.

          And another place I think it’s inappropriate to have “The Girls” on display is an underground hip-hop show. My crew and I (yes, I travel w/my more people from time to time) saw 2 chicks in all their slore-y glory while everybody else rocked the fly comfortable look @ an LB show a week ago, looking like they had an agenda that had nothing to do w/enjoying the music. I just shook my head.

          Oh, don’t have your tittays out @ church either.

          • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

            “And another place I think it’s inappropriate to have “The Girls” on display is an underground hip-hop show. ”

            I agree.. not only this, but to a spoken word/poetry night… we have these monthly in my city and the girls who come in there looking like “after-the-show-its-the-after party” are so out of place. Takes me back to Sesame Street, “One of these kids just don’t belong here”. You can keep it sexy without throwing on the glitter and your tightest dress.

          • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

            “And another place I think it’s inappropriate to have “The Girls” on display is an underground hip-hop show. ”

            I agree.. not only this, but to a spoken word/poetry night… we have these monthly in my city and the girls who come in there looking like “after-the-show-its-the-after party” are so out of place. Takes me back to Sesame Street, “One of these kids just don’t belong here”. You can keep it sexy without throwing on the glitter and your tightest dress.

          • eff yo couch

            “Oh, don’t have your tittays out @ church either.”

            I can’t co-sign this, because looking at exposed tittays during church service keeps me from falling asleep

            • Lil’T

              I think you may be the devil. Like, for realz.

              Although I did see a chick at church a few weeks ago with a mini-dress and hooker 6″ stilettos. No tittay action – but enough leg to incite extra prayer and a lap scarf from the ushers.

              • eff yo couch

                “I think you may be the devil. Like, for realz.”

                Yeah, my friends call me Lucifer, lol. Seriously, I know looking at T&A , should be the last thing on my mind during church, but what can I say . . .I’m a man. Any man that says they don’t look at that while in church is a damn lie.. Besides this is a neccessary evil. If it wasn’t for sister so&so wearing her stipper outfit to church, I probably would have been sleep and wouldn’t be able to hear the word . . .which is my main purpose for being at church in the first place. Well that and making in rain the the collection baskets. lol

              • eff yo couch

                “I think you may be the devil. Like, for realz.”

                Yeah, my friends call me Lucifer, lol. Seriously, I know looking at T&A , should be the last thing on my mind during church, but what can I say . . .I’m a man. Any man that says they don’t look at that while in church is a damn lie.. Besides this is a neccessary evil. If it wasn’t for sister so&so wearing her stipper outfit to church, I probably would have been sleep and wouldn’t be able to hear the word . . .which is my main purpose for being at church in the first place. Well that and making in rain the the collection baskets. lol

              • Gem of the Ocean

                lol @ the lap scarf

              • Gem of the Ocean

                lol @ the lap scarf

            • Lil’T

              I think you may be the devil. Like, for realz.

              Although I did see a chick at church a few weeks ago with a mini-dress and hooker 6″ stilettos. No tittay action – but enough leg to incite extra prayer and a lap scarf from the ushers.

            • Peyso

              sometimes u jus stumble into the church right from the club. i’ve done it before.

              • malaika

                shaggy’s church heathen making sense now? lol

              • malaika

                shaggy’s church heathen making sense now? lol

            • Peyso

              sometimes u jus stumble into the church right from the club. i’ve done it before.

            • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

              exactly. there is nothing else to do but glance at cleavage.

            • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

              exactly. there is nothing else to do but glance at cleavage.

          • eff yo couch

            “Oh, don’t have your tittays out @ church either.”

            I can’t co-sign this, because looking at exposed tittays during church service keeps me from falling asleep

          • Lil’T

            I’ve seen this too, PBG. It’s a tragic scene. To be honest, though, a few years (and pounds) ago it might have been me. (did I just say that out loud?)

          • Lil’T

            I’ve seen this too, PBG. It’s a tragic scene. To be honest, though, a few years (and pounds) ago it might have been me. (did I just say that out loud?)

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            And another place I think it’s inappropriate to have “The Girls” on display is an underground hip-hop show.

            i fervently disagree with this. that’s the perfect place for it…

            to quote apparently underground VSB fan favorite Phonte from Little Brother:

            “…Even though ya’ll niggas might not cuss like me//
            At the end of the night ya’ll just trying to f*ck like me…”

            everybody’s trynna get their jollies so the chicks with the puppies on display are just speeding up the process…

            some folks jollies just include croutons, chewsticks, and hemp. besides, breasts-on-display chicks are deep and like little brother too…

            further, they’re groupies-in-training, they figure trying to sleep with a broke rapper with a famous name will springboard them to the rich rappers with big names…its a steppingstone.

            • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

              Mmmmm….croutons.

              PeeJay! Stop distracting me w/yummy food references! I stand by my assertion that over-exposed breasticles have no place in underground hip-hop! Save that shyt for Usher and T-Pain!

              But being sympathetic to Eff’s plight, ladies, if you must @ church…sit in the back w/the rest of the sinners. I promise not to suck my teeth too loudly when you slide into my pew.

              • eff yo couch

                “church…sit in the back w/the rest of the sinners.”

                Yeap, the back row at church, I get some of my best sleep on that row

              • eff yo couch

                “church…sit in the back w/the rest of the sinners.”

                Yeap, the back row at church, I get some of my best sleep on that row

            • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

              Mmmmm….croutons.

              PeeJay! Stop distracting me w/yummy food references! I stand by my assertion that over-exposed breasticles have no place in underground hip-hop! Save that shyt for Usher and T-Pain!

              But being sympathetic to Eff’s plight, ladies, if you must @ church…sit in the back w/the rest of the sinners. I promise not to suck my teeth too loudly when you slide into my pew.

            • 8th Wonder

              “further, they’re groupies-in-training, they figure trying to sleep with a broke rapper with a famous name will springboard them to the rich rappers with big names…its a steppingstone.”

              A gateway lay…if you will.

            • 8th Wonder

              “further, they’re groupies-in-training, they figure trying to sleep with a broke rapper with a famous name will springboard them to the rich rappers with big names…its a steppingstone.”

              A gateway lay…if you will.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            And another place I think it’s inappropriate to have “The Girls” on display is an underground hip-hop show.

            i fervently disagree with this. that’s the perfect place for it…

            to quote apparently underground VSB fan favorite Phonte from Little Brother:

            “…Even though ya’ll niggas might not cuss like me//
            At the end of the night ya’ll just trying to f*ck like me…”

            everybody’s trynna get their jollies so the chicks with the puppies on display are just speeding up the process…

            some folks jollies just include croutons, chewsticks, and hemp. besides, breasts-on-display chicks are deep and like little brother too…

            further, they’re groupies-in-training, they figure trying to sleep with a broke rapper with a famous name will springboard them to the rich rappers with big names…its a steppingstone.

          • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            If someone is in church, who cares if there breasts are out?

            It isn’t for us to judge. We got to remove the hypocrisy from organized religion and stop pointing fingers and elevating ourselves above God by judging folk.

            that was the message from this Sunday’s sermon at my church. :)

            A service at which I had some unintentional cleavage on display.

            • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

              let the cleavage be free!

            • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/ Deviant

              let the cleavage be free!

            • V Renee

              “It isn’t for us to judge. We got to remove the hypocrisy from organized religion and stop pointing fingers and elevating ourselves above God by judging folk.”

              I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY! That’s one of my main problems with organized religion, the hyprocrisy in it.

            • V Renee

              “It isn’t for us to judge. We got to remove the hypocrisy from organized religion and stop pointing fingers and elevating ourselves above God by judging folk.”

              I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY! That’s one of my main problems with organized religion, the hyprocrisy in it.

            • Gem of the Ocean

              is that a damp quilt i see you totting, V.E.G.?? lol j/k (well, only slightly)

              but i feel you. i sit in the third center pew so i don’t even see what might be going on in others parts of the church. too focused on praise and the Word. *waving hand* yes, lawd.

              • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                Slightly damp. lol.

                I sit in the back to stay away from the judging elder woman who hold down the front.

              • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                Slightly damp. lol.

                I sit in the back to stay away from the judging elder woman who hold down the front.

              • Gem of the Ocean

                lol. what’s so funny is, at my church, all the old ppl sit in the back or on the sides. or downstairs and just watch the service on a big screen tv. it seems like the “families” sit up front. i get there just in time to see where the kids are sitting so i can sit behind them. the last time i sat in front of a row of kids i had cheeto dander all over the back of my white sweater (damn kids!).

              • Gem of the Ocean

                lol. what’s so funny is, at my church, all the old ppl sit in the back or on the sides. or downstairs and just watch the service on a big screen tv. it seems like the “families” sit up front. i get there just in time to see where the kids are sitting so i can sit behind them. the last time i sat in front of a row of kids i had cheeto dander all over the back of my white sweater (damn kids!).

              • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                girl…I’d have had to turn around and give those kids ‘the look’.

                We have some old biddies that hold down the right side of the church…I avoid them, too.

              • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                girl…I’d have had to turn around and give those kids ‘the look’.

                We have some old biddies that hold down the right side of the church…I avoid them, too.

              • Gem of the Ocean

                problem is. i didn’t know about it until AFTER service was over and my girl was like, that little kid left a nice little print on your back. i was RED hot.

              • Gem of the Ocean

                problem is. i didn’t know about it until AFTER service was over and my girl was like, that little kid left a nice little print on your back. i was RED hot.

            • Gem of the Ocean

              is that a damp quilt i see you totting, V.E.G.?? lol j/k (well, only slightly)

              but i feel you. i sit in the third center pew so i don’t even see what might be going on in others parts of the church. too focused on praise and the Word. *waving hand* yes, lawd.

            • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

              I too have been guilty of the unintentional cleavage. Actually, I am a repeat offender. Then again, I could wear a potato sack and STILL coldn’t hide these puppies…. *sigh*

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                ewl… BBMo can’t spell today.

                and i agree… like i said in the past judge not… our church has very laxed dress codes for a reason… come as you are before the Throne. He doesn’t see your clothes, He sees your heart.

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                ewl… BBMo can’t spell today.

                and i agree… like i said in the past judge not… our church has very laxed dress codes for a reason… come as you are before the Throne. He doesn’t see your clothes, He sees your heart.

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                I see yo’ heart too, BBMo! Put on a dang-on Dickey!!

                lmao!!

                No offense, but I LOVE clownin’ “The Chuch”. I can’t stand organized religion. I am probably the most irreverent person you’d ever meet when it comes to religion, and it just burns the h3ll out my Mama.

                Church…hmph! Controlling folks w/fear, rhetoric, ritual and dogma. That is NOT Christ-like @ all. I roll w/Jesus and his Daddy, that’s it. No extras.

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                I see yo’ heart too, BBMo! Put on a dang-on Dickey!!

                lmao!!

                No offense, but I LOVE clownin’ “The Chuch”. I can’t stand organized religion. I am probably the most irreverent person you’d ever meet when it comes to religion, and it just burns the h3ll out my Mama.

                Church…hmph! Controlling folks w/fear, rhetoric, ritual and dogma. That is NOT Christ-like @ all. I roll w/Jesus and his Daddy, that’s it. No extras.

              • SouthernGirl

                Then again, I could wear a potato sack and STILL coldn’t hide these puppies…. *sigh*

                I feel you BBM, I feel you. *smh and sighing*

              • SouthernGirl

                Then again, I could wear a potato sack and STILL coldn’t hide these puppies…. *sigh*

                I feel you BBM, I feel you. *smh and sighing*

              • Gem of the Ocean

                I could wear a potato sack and STILL coldn’t hide these puppies….

                i so don’t have this problem :(

              • Gem of the Ocean

                I could wear a potato sack and STILL coldn’t hide these puppies….

                i so don’t have this problem :(

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                @Gem

                you so don’t WANT this problem

                the next time i have to buy a shirt two sizes too big so it will fit my chest, i will SCREAM. my tailoring bill is re-donkulous.

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                @Gem

                you so don’t WANT this problem

                the next time i have to buy a shirt two sizes too big so it will fit my chest, i will SCREAM. my tailoring bill is re-donkulous.

              • Gem of the Ocean

                well can you donate some my way?? lol

              • Gem of the Ocean

                well can you donate some my way?? lol

            • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

              I too have been guilty of the unintentional cleavage. Actually, I am a repeat offender. Then again, I could wear a potato sack and STILL coldn’t hide these puppies…. *sigh*

          • http://www.igville.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            If someone is in church, who cares if there breasts are out?

            It isn’t for us to judge. We got to remove the hypocrisy from organized religion and stop pointing fingers and elevating ourselves above God by judging folk.

            that was the message from this Sunday’s sermon at my church. :)

            A service at which I had some unintentional cleavage on display.

          • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            ok I won’t have the girls out, but I will rock some shorts or something depending on the venue and the weather.,.at RTB last year I had on SHOWTS but it was a 13 hour concert, outside in august…lol…but titties are for R&B shows not the TRUE SCHOOL!

            REAL WOMEN HEART (and respect) UNDERGROUND HIP HOP!!!

            • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

              I love you Goodie! I’ll throw on some shorts in summer in a minute!! We do sooo *heart* underground hip-hop!

            • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

              I love you Goodie! I’ll throw on some shorts in summer in a minute!! We do sooo *heart* underground hip-hop!

          • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            ok I won’t have the girls out, but I will rock some shorts or something depending on the venue and the weather.,.at RTB last year I had on SHOWTS but it was a 13 hour concert, outside in august…lol…but titties are for R&B shows not the TRUE SCHOOL!

            REAL WOMEN HEART (and respect) UNDERGROUND HIP HOP!!!

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          It was the day after Halloween, so if she was pulling “Halloween Ho-tivity”, she was not only a garden tool, she was a stank one.

          And another place I think it’s inappropriate to have “The Girls” on display is an underground hip-hop show. My crew and I (yes, I travel w/my more people from time to time) saw 2 chicks in all their slore-y glory while everybody else rocked the fly comfortable look @ an LB show a week ago, looking like they had an agenda that had nothing to do w/enjoying the music. I just shook my head.

          Oh, don’t have your tittays out @ church either.

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        Must’ve been Halloween…chicks LOVE to dress like hoes on Halloween.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        don’t front. the Safeway in NE on Rhode Island is just as good as the club…same with the Giant on 7th Street in NW

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          OK, how did you know those were “my” grocery stores?? LMAO!!

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          OK, how did you know those were “my” grocery stores?? LMAO!!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        don’t front. the Safeway in NE on Rhode Island is just as good as the club…same with the Giant on 7th Street in NW

      • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

        the publix i went to in tallahasse was featured in playboy as one of the top places to pick up chicks. informally known as club publix it was indeed the spot to grocery shop while checking out the chicks in high heels and low cut skirts.

        anecdotally, there was another hangout spot in town called café cabernet. on wednesday nights, it acquired the moniker of café divorcé.

      • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

        the publix i went to in tallahasse was featured in playboy as one of the top places to pick up chicks. informally known as club publix it was indeed the spot to grocery shop while checking out the chicks in high heels and low cut skirts.

        anecdotally, there was another hangout spot in town called café cabernet. on wednesday nights, it acquired the moniker of café divorcé.

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      “I saw this up close and personal at the fair, I mean really? you at the fair in your video vixen best 5 inch heels and all?”

      This reminds me of the chick I saw in the grocery store last weekend in high heels, leggings w/her tittays out in a low cut top. I was like “For real, club gear to buy frozen waffles?? Safeway got a dance floor in the back? Who’s spinnin’??”

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      Shay-d, I heart you for using “vixen” as oppose to the other word :-)

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      Shay-d, I heart you for using “vixen” as oppose to the other word :-)

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    I havent been on a first date in so long…

    I would say, Dont try any new lotions, creams, soap or makeup.. I did this before a presentation and broke out in hives…it was not pretty and I am sure that all that scratching made everyone else uncomfortable

    Dont try out your brand new come f!ck me pumps…as I recall on dates you always end up walking some where and nothing pi$$es a man off more than a woman who did not dress appropriately and is complaining the whole time

    a caveat to the comment above do dress appropriately for the occassion. If you are going to the zoo you do not need to be in skin tight skirt and 5 inch heels orbetter yet having to walk barefoot because you wore the wrong shoes that shyt is tacky as he.ll( I saw this up close and personal at the fair, I mean really? you at the fair in your video vixen best 5 inch heels and all?)

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Alise in Chains

    Don’t dress too provocatively I say. Leave something to the imagination, like for realz. I ain’t saying wear a potato sack, but in the stadium of life men are already thinking about sex, no need to put your titties on the Jumbo-tron, nah mean?

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      LOL I didnt have titays back when I was dating… but I got some girls now and boy they can be hard to contain sometimes…

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      LOL I didnt have titays back when I was dating… but I got some girls now and boy they can be hard to contain sometimes…

    • aja

      I ain’t saying wear a potato sack, but in the stadium of life men are already thinking about sex, no need to put your titties on the Jumbo-tron, nah mean?

      LOL..True dat.

    • aja

      I ain’t saying wear a potato sack, but in the stadium of life men are already thinking about sex, no need to put your titties on the Jumbo-tron, nah mean?

      LOL..True dat.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “titties on the Jumbotron”

      btw, this is also the working title of 8th wonder’s upcoming autobiography, detailing her time as a ballgirl with the memphis grizzles

      • 8th Wonder

        Ain’t no jumbotron around that can hold these sweater kittens.

        And I luv you too, boo.

      • 8th Wonder

        Ain’t no jumbotron around that can hold these sweater kittens.

        And I luv you too, boo.

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        Oh Lawd…I don’t wanna laugh @ the expense of my girl 8th Wondra!! Hold my mule!!

        • 8th Wonder

          Laugh on, PBGizzle, cause I certainly did.

          Can’t wait to meet you next wednesday!

          Now. Can you take this mule back? He smells.

          • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

            I’ll put him out on Alise’s unicorn ranch.

            • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com/ Alise in Chains

              ….for a nominal fee, please and thank u. My unicorn babies can’t eat no books….

            • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com/ Alise in Chains

              ….for a nominal fee, please and thank u. My unicorn babies can’t eat no books….

          • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

            I’ll put him out on Alise’s unicorn ranch.

        • 8th Wonder

          Laugh on, PBGizzle, cause I certainly did.

          Can’t wait to meet you next wednesday!

          Now. Can you take this mule back? He smells.

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        Oh Lawd…I don’t wanna laugh @ the expense of my girl 8th Wondra!! Hold my mule!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “titties on the Jumbotron”

      btw, this is also the working title of 8th wonder’s upcoming autobiography, detailing her time as a ballgirl with the memphis grizzles

    • http://www.kindredsmile.blogspot.com KindredSmile

      Hehe love the name, Alise!

    • http://www.kindredsmile.blogspot.com KindredSmile

      Hehe love the name, Alise!

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Alise in Chains

    Don’t dress too provocatively I say. Leave something to the imagination, like for realz. I ain’t saying wear a potato sack, but in the stadium of life men are already thinking about sex, no need to put your titties on the Jumbo-tron, nah mean?

  • puff

    first is my birthday! dand i’m tipsy and a lil sicky both not great for first dates. ddefinitely not sharing all of your crazy life story: ain’t nobody want to know about your uncle joe who creeped on his 3 wives and died when his heart condition was aggreviated by p*ssy galore, stripper wonder of scranton, pennsylvania. keep the conversation light and whatnot.

    • aja

      Happy birthday!

    • aja

      Happy birthday!

    • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com MsSula

      Happy Birthday!

      May you have all the goat-filled pepper soup your heart desires! ;)

      And take care of yourself about that sicky thing.

    • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com MsSula

      Happy Birthday!

      May you have all the goat-filled pepper soup your heart desires! ;)

      And take care of yourself about that sicky thing.

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      Happy Birthday, Puff!

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      Happy Birthday, Puff!

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      Happy Birthday

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      Happy Birthday

    • Gem of the Ocean

      ¡feliz cumpleaños!

    • Gem of the Ocean

      ¡feliz cumpleaños!

    • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

      ip ip ip hooray!

    • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

      ip ip ip hooray!

    • puff

      lol thank you!

    • puff

      lol thank you!

    • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

      Happy Birthday

    • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

      Happy Birthday

    • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

      happy Birthday

    • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

      happy Birthday

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      APPY BAIDAY TOU, APPY BAIDAY TO U, APPY BAIDAY to u, Dear Puff, APPY BAIDAY TO U!!

      *Takes a swig of Bailey’s*

      • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

        hahaha youze a fuuuul

      • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

        hahaha youze a fuuuul

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      APPY BAIDAY TOU, APPY BAIDAY TO U, APPY BAIDAY to u, Dear Puff, APPY BAIDAY TO U!!

      *Takes a swig of Bailey’s*

    • Beez

      Happy Birthday!!! Hooray for November b-days!!
      *sippin Kool-Aid: the red kind*

    • Beez

      Happy Birthday!!! Hooray for November b-days!!
      *sippin Kool-Aid: the red kind*

    • eff yo couch

      *pulls out half full flask from the desk and takes birthday swig*

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    • eff yo couch

      *pulls out half full flask from the desk and takes birthday swig*

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

      Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

      The Guiness is on me!

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

      Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

      The Guiness is on me!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      happy birthday. may your birthday be an orgasmic one

      • SouthernGirl

        i agree with this. have a great day!

      • SouthernGirl

        i agree with this. have a great day!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      happy birthday. may your birthday be an orgasmic one

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      happy birthday.

      pop champagne and get arab money.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      happy birthday.

      pop champagne and get arab money.

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      happy bday

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      happy bday

    • http://www.kindredsmile.blogspot.com KindredSmile

      Happy Bday!

    • http://www.kindredsmile.blogspot.com KindredSmile

      Happy Bday!

    • V Renee

      “Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea”

      Oh wait, wrong song. I meant –

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    • V Renee

      “Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea”

      Oh wait, wrong song. I meant –

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    • overit

      Happy Bday to ya!

    • overit

      Happy Bday to ya!

    • http://www.powerfulandawesome.com genius khan

      dam puff u reality blogging today. “…aggreviated by puss*e.” fuk did u say? scripper wonder of scranton pa.?

      heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooo!

      happy birthday wether we like it or not huh? now isn’t it?

      salute!

    • http://www.powerfulandawesome.com genius khan

      dam puff u reality blogging today. “…aggreviated by puss*e.” fuk did u say? scripper wonder of scranton pa.?

      heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooo!

      happy birthday wether we like it or not huh? now isn’t it?

      salute!

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      Happy Born Day Puff!! Mine’s the 16th!!

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      Happy Born Day Puff!! Mine’s the 16th!!

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      HAPPY B(EARTH)DAY PUFF the MAGIC DRAGON!!

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      HAPPY B(EARTH)DAY PUFF the MAGIC DRAGON!!

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor miss patterson

      happy birthday puff!!

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor miss patterson

      happy birthday puff!!

  • puff

    first is my birthday! dand i’m tipsy and a lil sicky both not great for first dates. ddefinitely not sharing all of your crazy life story: ain’t nobody want to know about your uncle joe who creeped on his 3 wives and died when his heart condition was aggreviated by p*ssy galore, stripper wonder of scranton, pennsylvania. keep the conversation light and whatnot.

More Like This