Let’s Be Friends.

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What do crack, bass jumping, and Dirty Sanchez’s have in common?

They’re all things that friends don’t let friends do.

Now of course, we’ve beaten dead the concept of male and female “platonic” friends (or lack thereof), but let’s assume for a second that it’s possible. There are definitely some behaviors that two friends should not engage in if they’re trying their best to uphold their friendship (read: attempting to ward off temptation, hormones, and IKEA).

Thing is, the fact that you are just-friends doesn’t mean that there won’t be any flirting or touchy-feely going on. Nope. It just means that both parties will generally make it a point not to let things get too far.

With that mind, let’s discuss a few things that Friends Just Don’t Let Friends Do, While Trying To Remain Just Friends…Even While Watching Friends.

1. friends don’t let friends give eachother backrubs.

If you’re trying to give your friend a backrub, you’re trying to see eachother naked. Point blank. Period. Rubbing of any sort is sensual. Why do you think the genie shows up AFTER you rub his lamp? Because he’s all up and excited. You can’t just knock on the lamp. He won’t answer. But rubbing? Oh yeah, he’s coming.
Pun.

2. friends don’t let friends kiss on the lips.

Short of being gay, there’s generally not a good reason to be kissing your just-friends on the lips at all. Then again, if there was any sort of tension in the air or awkwardness due to desire, you wouldn’t do it anyway since we all know when we’re in the question phase, we over analyze our every step anyway. But just to be on the safe side, if you do decide to kiss your friend and you start tasting Kool-Aid you know you didn’t drink…don’t say I didn’t warn you. And you can’t really be mad…you kissed eachother. It’s yo’ fault.

3. friends don’t let friends sleep with eachother.

We can add, or touch people in their special places to that as well.

Fellas…if you EVER meet a woman who tells you she can have sex with you with no strings attached…throw something at her and run like hell. She’s lying. No matter how much she tries to convince you she can, she’s a liar.

Just don’tt sleep with your friends. It just doesn’t make sense. Sure, we all have our moments of weakness, but you have them with folks you’ve thought about in vertical terms. If you go to thinking about your friends in vertical terms, it seems counterintuitive to think that they’re actual platonic friends. So stop it.

4. friends don’t let friends hold each other while sleeping.

Now this one gets tricky. I believe that a man and a woman can sleep in a bed together and not touch each other and it be all good. Hell, I’ve done it. It’s easier than it sounds. But if one person goes all cuddling up to the other one in the middle of the night and wants to be held, I’m raising a red flag. Holding is a prime way for feelings to develop. And you wouldn’t just snuggle up to anybody, now would you? Nope, somebody you truly trust and care about…and if you truly trust and care about them and are all arm locked and wake up and looking into each other’s eyes and smiling, you may end up going to the zoo. Zoo is a where love happens.

Besides, cuddling leads to relations. See #3.

5. friends don’t let friends hate on other love interests and relationships.

We’ve all seen it happen. Some dynamic duo of platonicity hangs tough and swears that there’s nothing going on until one of them meets somebody else. All of a sudden they can’t stop talking about how kcufed up it is that things are going the way they are…then somebody throws around the, “they should have known I liked them, even though we never talked about it…” If you got beef, then clearly you need to re-evaluate their place in your life.

So good friends of VSB.com, what are some other things friends just shouldn’t do under any circumstances?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST

346 thoughts on “Let’s Be Friends.”

  1. Friends who are pretending that there is nothing between them other than friendship should not let friends share herbal refreshments and drink Patron together. On the same night.

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  3. Friends who are both documentary buffs should not sit in a darkened living room, alone, watching a piece on Fred Hampton. While massaging each other’s scalps.

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  5. Damn I gotta forward this to a couple peeps. This is exactly how peeps hook up with their friends. If you add liquor to the equation.. you can only imagine the out come. The biggest part about #5 is they lie about it.. I hate that.

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  6. This is so true. I do believe that males and females can be friends, but you definitely need to adhere to these tips in order to remain “platonic”. Cause I’m sure each person has fantasized or thought about hooking up with the other person, but for some reason that’s just not where they want to go for real.

    But most importantly—I agree that alcohol, low lights, soft music and high emotions should NOT cross the equation at any point because that will get folks in some BIG trouble.

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    • “Cause I’m sure each person has fantasized or thought about hooking up with the other person, but for some reason that’s just not where they want to go for real.

      But most importantly—I agree that alcohol, low lights, soft music and high emotions should NOT cross the equation at any point because that will get folks in some BIG trouble.”

      if all of this is true though, then its not exactly platonic.

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    • I agree that alcohol, low lights, soft music and high emotions should NOT cross the equation at any point because that will get folks in some BIG trouble.

      Vodka&Milk…I also think short-shorts and tall heels are a combo that is destined for FuBu-osity…I mean…you know…so I’ve heard…

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  7. Talk about a humorous look at the fine line between platonic and “I want to pin you down and poor hot wax on your…” Sorry, just a little flashback :) .

    Friends shouldn’t tell you what they can do with their tongue…look, ma, no hands!

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    • “Friends shouldn’t tell you what they can do with their tongue…look, ma, no hands!”

      right. friends shouldnt ever put their tongues on other friends, unless the other friend has some pudding on their shoulder

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    • when men and women get together, sex is bound to be a topic of discussion…but you’re right…don’t “brag” on your john…cuz that makes me want to see it…and if I see it…I’m gonna want it…and there is nothing but VIP seating in hell for the rest of that thought…lol

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  8. #5 is a good one! I have one guy friend who I consider like a brother and he says that he has to approve of my relationships lol. I pay him no attention but he does intimidate the guys that I date because he’s 6’5″ and very well-built (he kinda resembles The Rock)…..

    I believe that men and women can be friends but in general should avoid large consumption of alcohol, romantic music, slow dancing, stuff like that. I had one guy friend whos really FINE do a partial strip tease for me to Say It (Ne-Yo). Not a great idea if you’re just friends…

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    • between him…

      “I pay him no attention but he does intimidate the guys that I date because he’s 6?5? and very well-built (he kinda resembles The Rock)…..”

      …and him

      “I had one guy friend whos really FINE do a partial strip tease for me to Say It (Ne-Yo).”

      …i’m, ummmm, nevermind. i need my toast

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    • Leila I know you said he’s married but why is he blocking? What is the term when a man is blocking a woman from finding another man…is it still called cock blockng???

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      • “What is the term when a man is blocking a woman from finding another man…is it still called cock blockng???”

        You could call it “purse snatching”

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      • I’m not sure what it’s called, but yeah he’s guilty of that sometimes. He’s my best male friend and we’ve been friends for a long time. He’s so nosy when it comes to my relationships. I don’t say anything when it comes to his and he’s had some crazy ex’s.. He’s been married for a year now so I thought he would change, but still asking questions and saying that he needs to approve of my boyfriends lol. He’s not the only onw. I have other guy friends who think that they’re my brothers and have to watch out for me lol.

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  9. I have a good guy friend (who has not so secretly liked me for years. Thank God he has moved on and has started hitting on my friends. lol) that I consumed somewhat large quantities of alcohol with in the past and nothing EVER happened. Why? Because the attraction was one sided. I’d sober up real quick if he got all mushy and started wondering aloud why I didn’t see him in ‘that way’.

    The REAL trouble has come in when there has been a mutual attraction and you were foolish enough to sit in a dark room with him watching a documentary on Fred Hampton while you took turns massaging each other’s scalps. Or you let him rub lotion on your feet. I’m just saying.

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    • But..wouldnt it be the best of both worlds to be with your frd ? assuming that your frd is someone you are attracted to ? We all think about monster mashing with our homies..lets be real- esp if they fione…I got a few…

      but to add to P’s list:

      #6. Frds of the opposite sex dont watch frds change clothes–leads to xrated day dreams and late night phone calls
      #7. Frds of the opposite should not answer their frds cell phone–self expl–
      #8.Frds of the opposite sex should not hold hands in public or private-PDA will confuse your emotions
      #9. Frds of the opposite sex should not play fight and or tickle each other- creates sexual tension…xrated day dreams and late night phone calls..

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      • #6. Frds of the opposite sex dont watch frds change clothes–leads to xrated day dreams and late night phone calls

        Thats the truth right there! This is a good one. All it does is confuse situations. And on the flip side, friends of the opposite sex shouldnt change clothes in front of platonic friends. Sometimes you cant help but watch if they’re right in front of you.

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      • Exactly! What you and Panama are saying would *seem* to be common sense. You would THINK. I’m not about to be holding hands with/cuddling with/getting back-rubs from/creating sexual tension with my platonic friends unless I want it to be more than that.

        If this is a true friend, and you wanna keep it that way, then keep.it.that.way.

        *kicking rocks*

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    • “Thank God he has moved on and has started hitting on my friends. ”

      Has this friend of urs REALLY moved on? LOL or would he still jump ur bones at the drop of a dime?

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    • YO…you killing me with the scalp massages…I have a vibrating hair brush JUST for that purpose…I LOVES me a good scalp rub…getting good scalp leads to giving good scalp..you’ve been warned!

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  10. This is super close to home for me VSB..sniff sigh-i am gulity of all of the above..I’m frds with this dude (clearly my husband/soulmate/ whiz/sun in a former life) we dated five plus yrs ago and then fell into frd mode-we make out, sleep and cuddle togehter from time to time..,BUT we remain frds no drama, no strings..so P I agree totally with your list, but we, as remarkable as it sounds we are tighter than panty hoes 4 sizes small (; so I guess we maybe more than frds huh?

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      • But that’s the thing..we hang out and go our seperate ways..chill no stress…then we may hook up later or not…it strange..this post is a mad stupid crazy a relfection of my situation…I dunno

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          • yep…we’ve both called it out ..but it maybe be just peachy as it is …or we are both just not ready to go there..shrug

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        • Comeback soon as the “situationship” turns [back] into a “relationship” (formal dating, adding labels to the sityo etc.) all hell will break loose. why? …because the mental dynamics will shift. its only stress free because you all have found a mental space that is not formally labeled, demanding, entitled and or filled with responsibility. can u find this space inside a “relationship” …not hardly. try it and see. hear me now believe me later.

          if the time is not managed between u, u’ll have a debacle on ur hands. …and clearly u want it to be more than it is currently. enjoy. good luck.

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          • “because the mental dynamics will shift. its only stress free because you all have found a mental space that is not formally labeled, demanding, entitled and or filled with responsibility”

            ***This was my week to just be light and free. Now I got to put on my clinical googles***

            While I would agree that “situationships” have a lot of beauty in their oraganic and fluid nature. That clearly isn’t quite what many women go for when they walk away from something (that isn’t quite working) to return with hopes of it being something more and different. . And I think its cool if both people are fully on board with said “situationship”.

            I know men who have asked women (including myself)”so where is this going”, “Um, I just want it to be me and you” etc. etc. But thats difficult to have happen when you’re giving him the choice to be your revolving door.

            keeping YOU really from your husband/soulmate/twin flame/blackhole of the sun…

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            • Comesback with:

              “But thats difficult to have happen when you’re giving him the choice to be your revolving door.”

              what is HE GIVING U the choice of?

              a fair exchange and no robbery perhaps?

              it’s this whole (no pun) “giving him” thing/mantra like ur doing HIM a flavor. [by being a cut buddy]

              usually re exploring ex “relationships” with a chance of “reconciling” it, doesn’t take but a hott second to understand why it’s over in the 1st place.

              yeah things can change but i usually am out of a “relationship” for core issues that don’t usually change as much as grow and develop. i may learn to accept or look at core issues differently (settle) but my core personage/disposition doesn’t usually become completely different. (as it relates to “relationships”)

              now just a “cut buddy” i can probably manage. …but once i get the smell that she or i is attempting more i’m ghost.

              i do believe that we agree with the following quote from u:

              “That clearly isn’t quite what many women go for when they walk away from something (that isn’t quite working) to return with hopes of it being something more and different.”

              and was my point exactly. …that a woman will often feign a “cut buddy” relationship [MUCHmore often] than a man] hoping to manipulate more than a “situationship.” …not that men don’t want “relationship” sometimes and ask for it quicker than the woman.

              i know it hurts u deep inside to be in accordance with the khan on this one but it seems we are.

              taste urself.

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              • It is very possible for a woman to blow, ride and go and not think of dude in any other terms. I’ve got one guy who, after a year of cutting him off and NOT responding to him in any way, still hits me up. He actually contacted me today. I think men just cannot believe there is a possibility that a woman was in it just for the “O”.

                Now, I’ve had a couple of “cut buddy” situations turn into relationships. And I wasn’t at all hoping for more. But, perhaps he came over on a night I had some etouffee or baked mac n cheese on the stove. And perhaps I admired his Scrabble skills (smart boys who can spell big words do IT for me).
                And things just went from there. But there was no secret hoping on my part.

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              • V.E.G. said:

                “It is very possible for a woman to blow, ride and go and not think of dude in any other terms.”

                yeah V.E.G. i’m not saying a woman can’t do it, i’m saying men are more capable of keeping it str8 and not getting cut-buddy-dom twisted than women.

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              • GK:

                Consider me corrected.

                Though me thinks men get secretly attached but are way better at hiding it. I live on Fantasy Island.

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          • Comeback soon as the “situationship” turns [back] into a “relationship” (formal dating, adding labels to the sityo etc.) all hell will break loose. why? …because the mental dynamics will shift. its only stress free because you all have found a mental space that is not formally labeled, demanding, entitled and or filled with responsibility. can u find this space inside a “relationship” …not hardly. try it and see. hear me now believe me later.

            I think you are trying to get under my sundress with all this typery…making extra-sense today and virtually rant free! “situationship” indeed… LUVITMANE!

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            • are u trying to provoke me? watch urself Goody with the gettin under ur sundress references. i will snatch yo… and pullem to the side. i know u like it.

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      • “But that’s the thing..we hang out and go our seperate ways..chill no stress…then we may hook up later or not”

        actually this is called “every guy on the planet’s definition of a “perfect relationship”

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    • Are you sure that HE has no strings attached to YOU?? This sounds mightily like a relationship that either party has not admitted to yet.

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      • sounds to me that old boy is playing you to the left…..he is getting full off the sample tray without having to pay for the full meal……..

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      • naw…we are all in types when it comes to MOST things..so if it were a relationship- it’d be known and established…

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  11. 1, women can sleep with men “no strings attached”. Men are just able to keep it “strictly d*ckly” for 2 years whereas a woman taps out around month 3. On to the topic at hand; I have 2 male best friends. My husband knows them they are friends. We have been friends since junior high school and what I have learned is this Friends do not let friends hide their existence. Every time my male friends have had trouble with their mate about me, its been because they didn’t tell her about me soon enough. Hiding your opposite sex friends seems immediately suspicious

    Friends do not let friends intervene in each other’s relationships or become close friends with their friends significant other
    Friends also don’t let friends hook them up with other friends (nor should friends just date one of their friends, friends) bad, bad, idea
    and lastly
    Friends should not make friends chose. IF your friend has found “the one” and you know that you are a bone of contention in their relationship (even if you have done nothing wrong) friends should be willing to step back. Dont show up at Nanny’s birthday party, dont go shopping with his momma, etc etc.

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    • throws Shade:

      “women can sleep with men “no strings attached”. Men are just able to keep it “strictly d*ckly” for 2 years whereas a woman taps out around month 3.”

      allow me to shine this lil light of mine. MANY women CLAIM that they are cool with a secshual relationship that is for the most part emtionally disconnected but i believe that they are really hoping for more and that circumstances would change to fit truer feelings she may be in denial about. when this is true she never had any REAL intentions, commitment or will to play that position from jump.

      methinks men are much more willing and commited to maintaining a just secs understanding. replete with “emotional unavailability” intact.

      again if the time communicating is not managed properly both men and women can get caught up and cloud the understanding and the next thing ya know 1 or both are “catching feelings.”

      some women can manage secs only and the semi-detachment that comes with the job but for the most part women are not built for it and it’s gonna need some managing from someone who is better prepared to lead in this area. [a man]

      early. hate me forthwith…

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      • I dont know about that. This is how I have seen it happen. …month one strictly booty calls, conversations pretty much are as follows..
        phone rings about 11 pm..what you getting into tonight?
        Shiiiit..I might hit the club…you
        The same…aight hit me up later…

        go to club, get drunk and horny calls ol girl….
        So whassup can I come through…girl being coy
        i dont know..I was just about to….well okay for alittle while..3-4 pm
        dude shows up they get it poppin dude leaves by 6

        in month 2 same scenario only dude starts to call around 8 to see if she goes to the club also throws in a random…what you do today while lining up the after club action
        Month 3 add in the random whassup girl calls un related to sex and now instead of after club hookups you skip that whole deal and just get it poppin., now there might be take out involved, watching of t.v actual conversation is involved before the sexcapades. Now dudes dont realize it, its a natural transition for them and they are still looking at you as “shawty” but girls have noticed the changes and now they start thinking..I mean he is cute…he could be boyfriend material and then things go down hill….

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        • Shade the progression you described [#1.) from late night call, club, then bootycall to #2.) casual convo, skip club to str8 cut buddy episode to #3.) tv, takeout and convo cut it up) can all be done in the realm of “cut buddydom”

          it’s all about where the individual wants take it. he MAY still be thinking NOWHERE. u may be thinking SOMEWHERE.

          i’m not saying men don’t want “relationships” in it’s formal sense but i am saying that women want formal relationship more than men and usually faster. women may often front like they want to be ur “cut buddy” but it’s usually a ploy/trick to getbtheir tit in the door or they are in denial about wanting formal “relationship.

          1 black mans opinion.

          taste urself.

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          • What I am saying sir, is that the thought of the relationship is not the primary objective of the woman at the begining of the whole “cut buddy” relationship. I was just showing you how it proceeds and how a woman who was previously not interested in anything but starts to see you as relationshp material.
            I see your game mr. Khan..your quite adept at “talking” a lot around the subject and getting points for pseudo science….

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            • Shayd calls me out:

              “I see your game mr. Khan..your quite adept at “talking” a lot around the subject and getting points for pseudo science….”

              yeah ahhhh someone/s else said i had a pseudo shrink shop set up here at vsb and that my couch had holes in it.

              (clears throat, buzzer goes off)

              Ymari will schedule ur next session and take payment of your invoice on the way out.

              next week i want u to open up a little more with ur feelings. i think we’re getting close to a break thru.

              compel composed concise.

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            • Thanx for luvin the styles Shayd.

              i have to give a shout to people like u and the vsb’ers who help keep me sharp and thinking quick. im a writer, creator. it usually is translated to the screen. started with short form projects and steadily growing to longer ones. it’s lovely, emancipating even. wow and to be paid and working for me. stay tuned.

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              • no problem.. I thought I recognized a writer but I wasnt sure…you have to be careful with one who paints pictures with words for a living…..conversation rules the nation and those with the power will devour….LMAO

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  12. I must also add that I had a third male best friend. We were really close really cool, I never thought of him as anything but a friend in fact I was all wrapped up in this other ninja. Well lets just say that one night he got into it with his mom and came over. I let him in and went back to bed, he sat up watched t.v. and got in the bed. I woke up in his arms and I had …that.. tingling…..breath on my forehead, small, light strokes on the back…….

    okay.. I am back now. Umm lets just say there was a definite violation of platonic rules. We didnt know where to go from there..tried to have a real realationship didnt work and ruined our friendship. on a side note that was probably one of the most memorable experiences of my life…That first 112 CD…Can I touch you….OMG!!! almost worth ruining the friendship…but not quite…and to think if I would have had this nifty list I could have avoided all that drama!!!

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    • “Well lets just say that one night he got into it with his mom and came over”

      how old were ya’ll?

      just asking cause i cant imagine seeking counsel between the legs of a friend just because of an argument i had with my mom.

      wait, i can imagine it, but that would just be “game”.

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      • we were like 21..his mom was a violent alcoholic and I was one of the only ones that knew about that problem….When I was still living with my mom he came and spent a lot of nights on the couch, so there was nothing suspicious about that. High emotions, the need for comfort and that moment when you realize that your friend has grown up and those abs are tight and that acne is gone…

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    • throws Shade:

      “I must also add that I had a third male best friend.”

      excuse me whilst i rant.

      another thing i cram to understand. how is it women CLAIM to have all these different categories of A BEST FRIEND.

      BEST FRIEND is SINGULAR. that means 1.

      but here you all go:

      best friend on the left hand side.

      best friend Before the death of Christ.

      best friend after 9pm

      3 best friend to the 9th power

      womens BEST FRIEND has more categories than The Oscars

      best friend in a supporting role in a dramady goes to (drumroll, envelope opens) Tyra Banks and Dr. Phil in Oprah goes to Fat Farm.

      what is this? i tyhink it’s just women keeping up fake b.s. (appearances) like swooning over babies even when they look like gargoyles. patronizing. pandering.

      …got more BEST FRIEND’s than i have friends all together. it’s some b.s. however it’s explained and i’ve heard a million b.s. excuses. …but by all means LADIES OF VSB add uuuurrrn.

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      • “womens BEST FRIEND has more categories than The Oscars

        best friend in a supporting role in a dramady goes to (drumroll, envelope opens) Tyra Banks and Dr. Phil in Oprah goes to Fat Farm.”

        I CACKLED at that. And u r sooo right. Some women claim like 5 best friends, thus rendering the superlative of “best” moot, irrelevant and invalid

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        • Shade it just bewilders me the extent ladies go to in keeping up a facade [an artificial and deceptive front] in fellowship especially.

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          • I am a little offended that you thought you needed to add “[an artificial and deceptive front”…to steal a quote from someone ” I have a degree to b!tches!” but I will let it slide this time..
            you seem to have some trust issues. I take it you have never been just a friend to a woman so its hard for you to understand that concept?

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            • Shayd is faded:

              “I am a little offended that you thought you needed to add “[an artificial and deceptive front]”

              well it had the desired effect. provocative. compelling. thats why i added it. i’m glad you have a degree too. now with that and a bus pass u can catch the el to…

              heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whoooo!

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      • GK~I have one male best friend and no one female best friend… I do have a group of women, there are about 10-12 of my girls that we are tighter than Michael Phelps NASA designed swimsuit, that live all over the country and in the Carribean.

        But I understand where you are coming from, see for us (women) each of those women has different purpose, no one other person meets all of the needs. Where as the one mbf, he meets all the needs, except the unplatonic ones.

        I had a point, I forgot what it was.

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        • But I understand where you are coming from, see for us (women) each of those women has different purpose, no one other person meets all of the needs

          Exactly. Which is why I have 2 BF’s..lol

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          • And yes, although I realize it defies logic, I believe I got 3 female BFFs. And you are definitely right. Each woman is the Go-To person for different situations.

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          • i have friends that fullfill specific roles but only one is my bestest.

            why do u feel the need to bestow upon many what only the ONE should be crowned: “BEST FRIEND.”

            i say it’s a proclivity to pandering, fronting, and attempting to keep up appearances. who are you fooling?

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      • personally i have 2, and i call them both my bests because i cant choose 1 over the other to name just 1… sorry.

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    • I have 3 male FRIENDS…meaning I amy or may not find them attractive but we aren’t ever going to date because our dynamics are too awesome to taint with 0rg@sm…
      but I have a lot of HOMEBOYS…those are the ni99as that I know want to stroke me but I am either:
      -keeping around for an emergency (break glass in case of emergency type ish) cuz I want to hit too
      -not attracted to them at all and ignore their feeble attempts at flirting because they are really cool
      -atrracted to them too, but know it wouldn’t go anywhere because as their homegirl I see how they treat their lust interests and I am not having it!

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      • see I know my male friends are attractive but I dont find them attractive. 1 did call himself infatuated with me for a minute but that was like freshman year of highschool so aside from that there has never been any liking, dating, kissing, any of that. Strictly friends. The thing about opposite s.e.x friends is this…you dont normally develop them after you come out of college. I didnt really develop them in college but I will still include it as a possiblity. Any member of the opposite s.e.x you meet as an adult was attracted to you or you to them. So they are only hanging around playing sixth man to see if they can break into the starting line up…..

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      • Yes I have a lot of male friends. Some of them, I’m attracted to but won’t act on it b/c I dont wanna risk it.

        Others are my beloved gays

        And the rests are the ones I wouldn’t freak if the case of humanity RESTED upon it (but they rock in most other ways so they are keepers)

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  13. okay this is the last one..my moomma gave me good advice…she said (pardon my language ,we are from the hood) a woman that has seen your man’s d!ck cant be your friend or his and vice versa

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    • “a woman that has seen your man’s d!ck cant be your friend or his and vice versa”

      halleleuer…I gotta call bs on this post.

      Firstly and Personally with a few exceptions like (I see him as my annoying little brother, I see him as coming out the closet in 3 years, or I see him singing back up for the village people (totally gay)), I don’t have men wanting to be my buddy and ace boom coon.

      P is illustrating freaky azz friendships that are exciting because of the sexual tension. Why do people play these kinds of emotional/physical games with themeselves (aside from either being unavailable -which would still beg the question why? why? and why?)…how in the h#el#l do friends let friends sleep over on their pillowtop. HOW???

      Cause if I’m feeling you like that. If I’m getting soft and warm all over just by your mere presence…um we can’t be friends (cue Deborah Cox).

      Reply ↓

  15. PD Jakes says: “1. friends don’t let friends give eachother backrubs.If you’re trying to give your friend a backrub, you’re trying to see eachother naked. Point blank. Period. Rubbing of any sort is sensual.

    I actually disagree with this. I’m flirtacious at times but it doesn’t mean that I’m tryin’ to or want to hump someone.

    In dealing with female associates, I extend compliments, church hugs, and an occassional back rub. The back massage may be only of 15 seconds or so but it’s not like I’m trying to bed such female.

    Another note, because of my profession, I’ve applied baby oil to a female or two but it doesn’t mean that I wanted to bed them either. Lol.

    Reply ↓

  16. Friends dont hate on other friends because they picked up a guy in the club. if the freind wants to go with the guy and he seems like a good guy. dont hate on her getting some sweet loving just cause your going home SOLO.. HAPPY FRIDAY!

    oh and i agree with friends dont let other friends sleep with each other. that is a rule in my group of friends that I have broke and shouldnt have :(

    Reply ↓

    • Friends dont hate on other friends because they picked up a guy in the club. if the freind wants to go with the guy and he seems like a good guy. dont hate on her getting some sweet loving just cause your going home SOLO..

      This is a good one.

      Reply ↓

    • Friends do not also run into a bar, after they’ve seen you through the window from the street, come to your table while you are with a guy, say hello like he didn’t just see you two days ago, introduce himself to the guy you’re with, all while HIS date stands 5 ft. behind him, smiling, waiting to be introduced and does not get acknowledged.

      Reply ↓

  17. Why do you think the genie shows up AFTER you rub his lamp? Because he’s all up and excited. You can’t just knock on the lamp. He won’t answer. But rubbing? Oh yeah, he’s coming.
    Pun

    ::snicker::
    I have nothing to add right now…lol

    Reply ↓

  18. Friends don’t let friends dance with each other to Luke’s “I wanna rock” in the dark corner at the club.

    I was friends with this one girl since we were in elementary school. We both knew we had feelings for one another. This tension remains till this very day (20 years!!). One night at the club, her song came on (“I wanna rock”) and I was the closest male to her, automatically making me her dance partner for that one song. Needless to say the grinding got out of control and I ended up a pitching a tent. In perfect female fashion, she felt “mini me” and danced harder (females do this all the time and they know what they’re doing. Then they leave you all aroused!!! This is UNFAIR!!! Finish the darn job . . . Sorry for that rant). Nothing happened that night, but that was a catalyst for future events (lets just say from that point onshe knew what I was working with) . We actually talked about that my tent pitching and had a good laugh about it

    A few years later we went out to happy hour and after the bar closed we got things poppin. Thing is I had a girl and she had a man. After that night, things were totally awkward, but we still continued to have a few more sexcapades. BTW those episodes were Tony the Tiger GREATTTTTTTTT, but I had to cut her off because she wanted to be more than cut buddies.

    To this day we are still close friends, except now I don’t drink as much around her and when we’re at the club I run in the opposite direction when the dj plays “I wanna rock”

    Reply ↓

    • something about this story reminds me of the sitcom cliche where someone is hypnoitzed and everytime they hear a song, word or sound they do lose their minds….in this instance the trigger is “I wanna rock” …..

      Reply ↓

  19. also, friends don’t ask to perform, ummm, starts with “f” and rhymes with “horatio”, on other friends just because they need “practice” and dont wanna get rusty.

    damn. i miss college

    Reply ↓

      • “WOW!!! What kinda freaknik did you get ur degree from? lol”

        stop fronting like there aint youtube mixtapes floating around the midwest explicitly explaining exactly how you got the nickname “luvvie”

        Reply ↓

            • Looka here, I beat down Rutha Brown in 3rd grade for threatening to beat black on me. Took my jump rope, lashed her arse and shook it at the other kids who were watching just in case they wanted some of this.

              Don’t let the green eyes and light skin fool ya.

              All my life, I’ve had to fight.

              Reply ↓

              • CHALLONJ!!!

                Umm… meet me on the playground behind the monkey bars, betwixt the swing and the “cool kids” tree at 3 o’ clock.

                It will be BROUGHTEN!

                Reply ↓

              • LOL I love old school fights.. which way yall gone kick it off…who’s going to cross the line or whoever knocks the stick of the other’s shoulder?

                Reply ↓

              • My favorite: the crowd is anxious to see the fight so someone pushes someone two people behind one of the potential fightees hard enough that they fly into the person behind the fightee who flies into the fightee, pushing them into their opponent. Then it’s on.

                Reply ↓

              • I like to start fights with at LEAST 15 mins of GOOD ol’ ish talking. At which point, we circle each other UNTIL the crowd pushes one of us. THEN, it begins.

                Reply ↓

              • LOL where I’m from that’s the quickest way to get sucker punched in the mouth… peer pressure will make a ninja jump quicker than hot grease!

                Reply ↓

    • Practice?
      ‘da hell?
      You practice on produce, not the real live thang.
      That’s if you need practice. lmao

      Reply ↓

  20. I have a male best friend, and I do believe we are platonic. Besides, we look so much alike that any sexual thoughts about each other would really just be a form of narcissism.

    Reply ↓

        • yeah i have a male best friend we are platonic. but i have walked around naked around him .. more than once ..well everytime he came to my dorm room in undergrad i was uh.. in a town or naked. we did exchange lollies once … but decided to be friends… and now we are strictly PLATONIC… he’s like a brother to me ..minus the wrapper licking.

          Reply ↓

    • “Besides, we look so much alike that any sexual thoughts about each other would really just be a form of narcissism.”

      I don’t think this had stopped anyone…lol

      Reply ↓

          • Leila, I’m STRAIGHT Nigerian, and he is from St. Louis. Even his mama was like “did I forget I had a daughter somewhere?”

            If you’d like, I can send you a pic of us so you can see and report back to the VeeEssBee Bloggerhood.

            Reply ↓

  21. Damn, I just wrote about this topic a week ago. The debate went on and on and on. I mean I know girls who have friends that are strict spoon buddies and nothing has happened other than that. Sometimes you just need to be held…sideways. Women tend to be weary of a dude’s close attractive female friends (CAFF) to begin with. Not sure if it’s been tackled here, but I think it’s pretty interesting

    http://threewaystotakeit.wordpress.com/2008/08/10/how-to-become-a-mans-best-female-friend/

    That’s a debate for you. Great Post VSB!

    Reply ↓

      • 21+ amigo. I have a lot of female friends. Most of them, if single, wouldn’t mind having a cuddle machine/buddy. Granted, I’m sure some of them wouldn’t mind a little bit of peter or hurricane face to relieve the tensions that have accumulated.

        Reply ↓

          • LOL Nicki. It’s a joke that I share with my marido.

            Once while we were dating, at the end of a date he had me in one of those tight around the waist hugs. Before breaking the embrace I kissed him on his neck and his “manhood” reacted. I jokingly asked, “Do you have frog in your pocket?” It’s been a joke we share every since.

            Reply ↓

        • Raqui never ceases to amaze me:

          “…men had frogs in their pockets.” [from spooning with a woman]

          my frog starts pulsating and growing like the incredible HULK usually when yall start “inadvertently” backing that booty into my pelvic area. pretending to be half sleep and so forth. men they want to trick u into thinking it was all ur idea and that you started it. bullox!

          it makes for a good story to tell for their friends on how u were chasing them all night but i makem lay it out on a silver platter for me in no uncertain terms. i love to demistify their “tricks” and have them submit under my terms.

          tada!

          Reply ↓

          • when yall start “inadvertently” backing that booty into my pelvic area. pretending to be half sleep and so forth. men they want to trick u into thinking it was all ur idea and that you started it. bullox!

            This “was” my trick. lol

            Reply ↓

    • “I mean I know girls who have friends that are strict spoon buddies and nothing has happened other than that. ”

      This would frustrate the HE*LL out of me..and someone would have to die.

      Reply ↓

  22. Friends do not sit on the laps of friends.

    Friends do not play wrestle. (Particularly any and all submission holds)

    Friends do not allow friends to lick any type of food products from each others fingers, hand, arms, face, etc. Be it cake batter, chocolate, cookie dough, melting ice cream. You get the picture. That’s a NO, NO.

    Friends do not help dry each other off after getting out of the pool, getting drenching while washing the car, after coming in out of the rain. No. No.

    Last but not least, friends do not see each other naked. I don’t care if you two were given baths together when you were 2 yrs. old toddlers. You are 20 now. Grown man and woman. No nakedness.

    Reply ↓

  23. I have a story.

    I once had a male best friend. We went out together, he cooked for me, we held hands at the mall…cuddled (I spent the night so I could get to work early, LOL), went to church together and said “I love you” every night when we ended our conversation.

    He professed his love. I ignored him for 2 months…he wore me down. We’ve been happily married for 3.5 years and have a kid.

    Heed the warning of this post. Word to ya mutha.

    Reply ↓

    • ummm…REIGN hunny…you are debunking this post…you are the posterchild for when good isht comes from coming…wonderful and movie-like…just like D*Stroy, Raqi, and the rest of the “so-in-love-I-wanna-barf-and-hate-but-can’t-cuz-it’s-DOPE” looking ass clique…lol…congrats and thangs…

      Reply ↓

      • LOL Goode…do trust that there was some brick throwing and TV breaking in the process. But I do get results.

        Word to ya mutha. And baby mutha. That bish know I don’t play.

        Reply ↓

  24. So let me ask this…do you all heed the “Golden Rule” of not hooking up with a friend’s ex? Why or why not? All of my bootleg exes are fair game if even my closest girlfriend wants to torture herself.

    Reply ↓

      • I really have to say that I could care less. Why impede the potential happiness of someonelse? Who am I to make that decision? I can take my emotions out of a situation and be logical. *shrugs* Usually the friend of the friend isn’t over the ex, and this is why it is a problem.

        Reply ↓

        • because your friend is sicking a duck that you once rode into the sunset…wrong on so many levels…you may not care…which I agree with…but it’s the principal of cross-contamination…and if they live happily ever after…your friend will have to interact with you knowing you have HAD her man…somebody is gonna lose in a scenario like that!

          Reply ↓

          • sicking a duck…lol that I read it like it is supposed to be read, then re-read the entire thing and noticed it. Perhaps I have seen those words too much in one lifetime.

            I hear you Goode, I really do. One can definitely slide off the slippery slope in such a situation. But I suppose if it bothers them that much, the friendship would have to come to an end and regardless of what some people say, love, duck and the pursuit of happiness is more important to them than a friendship. Eh, oh well.

            Reply ↓

              • @REIGNS…goo kwerstchun…I wish had an answer for that…maybe it’s the connection that the swapping of fluids alludes to…(shrugging) as a single woman…you don’t have to be MY man to ge the GOODENess…but you can’t be anyone else’s man either…meaning…not be in a relationship and boning me too…that’s cheating…mama don’t do cheating…oddly enough…if I am not the only one on your team, adn you’re single…I don’t feel the need to know anything other than I am not the only one…but that usually gets old around month 3…lol…details lead to dissention!

                Reply ↓

              • She Reigns queries:

                “what is it about sex that makes us so…territorial?”

                i think a lot of it is social conditioning but i’m not sure. it’s something to think about. is it natural? we’ve discussed something SIMILAR before.

                i don’t think that the most of it [human sex being territorial] is “natural.” [natural like the word leadership when referred to is usually meant to be good or better than it's alternative/s]

                the usage of the words natural and leadership have been hotly debated in former vsb blog subjects and commentary.

                Reply ↓

      • Dating a friend’s ex – or any random hook up of hers – i is BIG no no.

        Thought I was gonna have to kill a white friend of mine cuz I thought she was confessing she hooked up with an old flame of mine. Lucky for her I listened to the end of her story; I misunderstood who she was talking about.

        Reply ↓

    • Make it Reign asks:

      “do you all heed the “Golden Rule” of not hooking up with a friend’s ex? Why or why not?”

      i don’t. not with friends ex gf’s or ex wives. it has crossed my mind on 1 or 2 ocassions.

      i have been asked by a friend to say to and promise him that i would not get with one of his particular ex gf’s. i found that very amusing.

      nickels start hugging up and finding their S.O’s when i come around sometimes like: if u wan tur girl u better put her in ur pocket. i’m not wolf.

      heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whooooo!

      Reply ↓

      • Okay, so ixnay the “ex-girlfriend/boyfriend” title. What about a jumpoff? A chick or dude that you’ve gotten it poppin with on a few occasions, maybe caught a movie with…does the rule apply to anyone that you’ve been intimate with?

        Perhaps one does not escort ones jumpoff to the movies.

        Reply ↓

    • “do you all heed the “Golden Rule” of not hooking up with a friend’s ex? Why or why not?”

      I know the reason I don’t do it is because I don’t wanna go behind some of my girls knowingly.
      That’s just real talk.

      Reply ↓

      • I dont do it..I dont want a friend that would knowingly do it.. Imean if you fall up on a guy and you dont know that’s one thing but my cousin married my ex highschool boyfriend. She throws a fit when she see’s us talking at the family gatherings etc etc..the same things happen with friends laugh to hard or have 1 to many ..you remember when stories and its over….

        Reply ↓

        • “She throws a fit when she see’s us talking at the family gatherings etc etc..the same things happen with friends laugh to hard or have 1 to many ..you remember when stories and its over….”

          Yep!!! More the reason to not even go there.

          Reply ↓

        • Yeah its definitely best left alone b/c even if one party says “oh yeah, go for it. im over him”, then they see yall w/ ur lovey dovey eyes, oh, the GREEN EYES may come out!

          Reply ↓

    • ‘do you all heed the “Golden Rule” of not hooking up with a friend’s ex? ‘

      In general, no. But if there’s an attraction between you and the ex, then it would depend on what happened with the friend and the ex. If the friend dumped him, then I would just let some time pass. If the ex broke the friend’s heart, then no. The friend means more to me than any guy…

      Reply ↓

  25. Despite that you are so-called “friends” . . . Friends should never talk about what they are working with or details of freaky episodes with friends of the opposite sex.

    This will lead to curiosity killing the cat . . . or should I say beating up the cat

    Reply ↓

    • “Friends should never talk about what they are working with or details of freaky episodes with friends of the opposite sex.”

      One of my guy friends talked bout his sex life w/ his ex and how she used to scream and run cuz she couldn’t take it. My eyebrows definitely went higher whenever I saw him after that. Let’s just say I am definitely curious bout what he working with now.

      Reply ↓

      • Actually one of my guy (platonic) friends told me about some fet—ish stuff he was into and I know I’ve looked at him differently ever since.
        Back of my mind I’m always like…dayum…you like some weird demented ish.
        I wish he would have never told me.

        Reply ↓

          • Oh I’m not attracted to him at all. We are truly platonic. It’s just along the lines that somethings are better left unknown. Especially ceksual thangs that you didn’t even ask to know…lol

            Reply ↓

  26. 6 words you should always give the side eye to: “(S)He’s like a brother(sister) to me”…… especially if it is prefaced by “No, no, no, it’s not like that!”

    Reply ↓

    • “6 words you should always give the side eye to: “(S)He’s like a brother(sister) to me”…… especially if it is prefaced by “No, no, no, it’s not like that!””

      ***st. alphons***

      Reply ↓

  27. VSB, I think you ni99as are big brother-ing me! I swettagawt! I was JUST discussing this absence of “platonicity” (LOVE that word) in a male/female friendship with a close male friend of mine on Tuesday. After extensive debate about the weight that physical attraction plays in the development (or demise) or a genuine, non-sexual connection between the opposite sexes…we came to this conclusion…platonic friends are simply friends with boundaries that they respect! My guy friend has made it clear that he thinks I am an awesome example of woman(mother)hood and I feel the same way about him, but it’s admiration not attraction…well maybe it is attraction but that is what separates us from the animals…I don’t feel the need to mount every man I’m drawn to (and vice versa)…he is a thoughtful, intelligent, loving husband and father that loves his wife and child immensely…and since I value his friendship and positive energy… I, in turn, adore them too…a part of me feels like I will be able to learn something from him…and he from me…

    so I typed all that to say this…respect is as respect does…it’s ignit to assume that grown ass, attractive men/women can’t be “just” friends (friendship being based on more than s3x appeal and “break glass in case of emergency”-itis of course, lol) but it’s immature to assume that they will act on that attraction…the rules are perfect, and genuine “play cousins” already know all those things…you can’t treat your opposite s3x friends like you treat your same s3x friends…act like you know!

    Reply ↓

      • ok…you have already expounded, but I will entertain you, cuz I like you enough to do so…

        - I get undressed around my girls…tits out, tats to the wind…wouldn’t happen with a guy friend…

        -share a dressing room…except of course if NMH still wants to go shopping with me…lol

        -I have had female friends attend my oral techinique class…wouldn’t happen with a male friend…

        -6 to a bed at bayou classic…w/ male friends that’s a s3cks tape…

        -lap sitting…holding while crying…accompanying to the OB/GYN…not dude activities…

        -male friends aren’t privy to seckshoouhl exploits…it plants a seed of curiosity even if he’s not feeling me “that way”

        -I have to wear actual pajamas during co-ed sleepovers…can’t keep my tshirt and my panties on…

        etc…etc…etc….

        Reply ↓

    • C’mon. A chick can be one of the fellas without gettin a sex change. It may be rare (not to be confused with medium rare, which is my slang for going raw), but it’s definitely possible. It’s all about how yall establish that friendship. If it starts with pumps, it will probably end with pumps.

      Reply ↓

      • I agree…I am told all the time I am like one of the fellas…even roll to see the shoe models with my boys…but I mean c’mon now Slim… I’m me…so who you? you not me?…ok wait…I got off task…FOCUS…I think they can be friends but you can’t cross certain lines…that’s all…

        Reply ↓

  28. I have a question:

    What if you and your friend already had sex, mutually decided that the sex was wack and was some kind of joke, and concluded that it would NEVER happen again (because in reality it kinda was like doing your sibling and you kinda thru up in ur mouth a lil afterwards, but would never say it was just that bad to their face), at this point could you REALLY be “just friends”? (aka (s)he like my bro/sis….)

    Reply ↓

    • I couldnt do it simply because the s.e.x was wack. Bad s/e/x makes me go all incredible hulk… I could not be friends what a wacksexster…..everytime I saw him I would be embarrassed for him and I would laugh everytime I met his girl or heard repeat of one of his stories…and the first time I got mad at him I would have to force myself not to end all comments ” with you non f.cking a.s.s” LMAO

      Reply ↓

      • lmao! his sex may be wack, but he could be mad intelligent and you love his convo (which made u want to drop the panties in the first place)…

        Reply ↓

        • lmao! his sex may be wack, but he could be mad intelligent and you love his convo (which made u want to drop the panties in the first place)…

          ***”church look to your neighbor and say “neighbor, you know this is the truth”***

          Reply ↓

        • I dont give a dayum…wack sex? Umm hmm…..the convo had to be about sex and sensuality to lead to doing the do…and making you think he was gone lay it down ..which means that not only is he wacsextastic but he is a liar. That’s a double whammy! I need one of those al bundy t-shirts cause thats a straight “NO MA’AM”

          Reply ↓

          • S*x is all mental and about communication anyway. And if a man’s got good convo, he’s already making love to your brain….all it takes is some talking down to the region south of the navel acadamy if you know what I mean.

            Reply ↓

            • Yeah. If you and a dude have repeated hours long late night convos/text sessions about your hopes,dreams and fears and you both enjoy documentaries and scalp massages and there is Patron and herbal refreshments while Gregory Isaac is playin’ in the background, then things are bound to happen that cause you both to mentally freak out. I’m just sayin…

              Reply ↓

            • I highly object. Yes, the art of seduction involves conversation but good conversation+juices flowing+ limp, little (or even big) sticks+ no hip action, no rhythm, stroke etc=wactastic s.e.x all day long. I don’t care how good he talks.

              Reply ↓

              • I am with you on that. If the chex are bad (see previous posts about guy who still holds title for worst chex after 5 years and is now a friend) I can NEVER, EVER look at dude in “that way” again. And a friendship is born.

                Reply ↓

              • I must object wit yalls objection

                I dont know if this is just the die hard optimist (or a future wanna be se%x therapist) in me or the fact that I’ve never had this experience before. I also believe that all men have the potential to be great lovers. Men have se$x differently and they also don’t make love by themselves. I have never had a wacktastic experience that resulted from a guy’s whose converstation I was digging profusely.

                If he can’t get Darryl up after said “mind job” (and has no other se#xual dysfunctions or medical issues)..I would venture to say, he wasn’t making love to your mind nor were their mutual cerebral mind blowings going on.

                Reply ↓

              • Darryl was up..but it take a lot more than that.
                Like, um, I expect a guy to generally know where the clit is and not get mad when I, sexily, tell him harder or slower.
                Just sayin…

                Reply ↓

              • And said mouth tried to provide him with gentle, sexy instructions. He copped a major attitude.

                No matter what, some guys (and girls) are not good lovers for YOU. Especially if they are not open to learning.

                Reply ↓

              • I am sorry comeback… sex is a physical act while you can mentally be put in the mood, conversation along will not make your toes curl, your back arch, and moementary loss of breath…I agree everyone has the potential to be a good lover but he.ll everyone has the potential to be rich..you can only have potential for so long before it becomes a dream deferred and as Langston said…It could fester like a sore or stink like rotten meat.

                Reply ↓

              • “sex is a physical act”

                Sure from a pure text book definition you need a pen%n%is and you need a va%g%ina and you need those two to meet. In my opinion that only accounts for about 10% of an inter#cour#se requirement. How is it possible for people to think of things during said interaction and lose all desire. How do people stop feeling each other sex#ually-when they still have the same anatomical parts.

                ..your MAJOR and MOST IMPORTANT sex#ual organ is between your ears, not your legs…the wacktastical experience started FIRST in your head.

                Reply ↓

              • comeback..can you uh trip the light fantastic without ever being physically touched or stimulated? if so can you please teach me that jedi mind trick? cause that wound come in handy
                But then how do you explain mad angry sex? how do you explain the “I mma gone give him some even though i am not in the mood” s.e.x that turns out to be the bomb? The best s.e.x involves body and mind, however you can have good and bad strictly physical s.e.x . And usually what makes for the most wacktastic experience is one that started out mental and the physical fell way short of the hype. I mean sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don’t, but when you do and you open the package and you got mounds instead of almond joy it don’t matter how hard you wish, think, talk etc its still just a limp piece of chocolate….queue the losing price as right music……

                Reply ↓

    • Yeah, I have one. Worst.chex. ever. Just awful. He spent years wondering why I didn’t see him “that way”. He has since moved on and is now hitting on my friends. I have done my duty to warn them all.

      Reply ↓

    • Yep. It happens, you laugh it off, and then carry on with friendship as usual. Except in this friendship you get to giggle (or complain) about all the reasons why the sex was a one time deal…

      Reply ↓

  29. Okay, so I might have to argue all of this down…I know I’m guilty of all but #3&5 and I hands down believe Patron Margaritas are a perfectly accpetable compliment to snuggling/trash-talking while watching Sunday Night Football…but thats just me and my general consensus is that if the ground rules are laid at the beginning then the end will always turn out in your favor…just look at the guys who made dinner that one night…now we’re all going to the superbowl together. ;-)

    Reply ↓

    • I am anxiously awaiting the superbowl now, and not just because I need my Pats to redeem themselves. I think we’ve all been wondering what the next chapter in that story would be.

      Super Sex?
      Cue Luda “…on the fifty yard line
      while the Dirty Birds kick for t’ree…”

      Reply ↓

  30. “and since I value his friendship and positive energy… I, in turn, adore them too…a part of me feels like I will be able to learn something from him…and he from me…”

    . . . Yeah like a new position that’s hasn’t been documented in the Kama Sutra.

    opps, did I just say that aloud?

    Reply ↓

  31. the only way a man and woman can truly be platonic friends is if neither one is attracted to the other. and even that’s questionable depending on your blood-alcohol level.

    Reply ↓

    • I detest the term platonic…I would be lying if I said I didn’t have male friends that I was attracted to…but not acting on those attractions makes us, by defintion alone, platonic…their presence in my life trumps most physical lust…for me anyway…I love to connect with people’s minds…I am hungry for the physical…but I am starving for the mental…

      Reply ↓

      • “I am hungry for the physical…but I am starving for the mental…”

        1. YESSS!! That statement makes me want to read some poetic ish.

        B. Well some people are PARCHED for the “bumping uglies” and things pop off like that.

        Reply ↓

    • WIA….that would be a reverberating…YES!!!

      mixed friendships set the bar higher for others trying to holler…for example…my 3 close male friends are gentleman…they treat me like a lady (aside from the occasional charge on dominoes or tekken) and that makes me expect more from my suitors…if the men I am not blessing treat me like more than scks on legs…then the man that is trying to get blessed needs to come at least as correct as my babies…

      same sex dynamics don’t facilitate the same kind of progressive thought process…

      Reply ↓

  34. LOL @ “But rubbing? Oh yeah, he’s coming.
    Pun.”

    I have a very close male friend from high school, and we hang out, do the sleepover thing, and chill all the time. Even though people ask when we’re going to get together, I couldn’t see it happening. We’ve known eachother for a long time and we both choose NOT to take it to the next level.

    Now I’m not going to lie and say that I havent ever though about, um, “rubbing the lamp,” especially on cold winter nights when I could use a lil hot chocolate. But our friendship is worth so much more to me than whatever we could be romantically.

    Basically, as long as the two people make an effort to keep things platonic then things are fine. But it does take effort. And I still make sure I look cute when we hang out.

    Reply ↓

    • Basically, as long as the two people make an effort to keep things platonic then things are fine. But it does take effort. And I still make sure I look cute when we hang out.

      ***High fives DOM*** that’s me right there…it takes effort…and I stay fly! lol

      Reply ↓

  35. 2 things, this website frickin rocks, I adore every post and comment, pure entertainment 24/7

    and 2, Raqi belongs to OUR blog community, she is on loan, don’t try to keep her. Kthxbai

    Reply ↓

  36. say you had a friend of the opposite sex you were extremely close to… could you be able to maintain that friendship at the same level if one of you gets married?

    Reply ↓

    • Me and my husband have been together for 7 years… My 2 male friends (omitting best so GK wont have a stroke) are just as close as they were when we met. One is my child’s godfather. We all went school supply shopping together. Now I do think its more possible with a female male relationship than the reverse. Me and my other male friends wife are not friends. We are not enemies but she is wary of our relationship. So I try to make extra sure she is comfortable with our friendship. We have had some skirmishes but it is possible. Its all about trust, being mature, and the fact that there has never been any extracurricular activities between us.

      Reply ↓

  37. i disagree with number 4…despite the fact that i want the “spooning leads to forking” t-shirt. Two examples. i have one platonic female friend who is a platonic friend, principally because she does nothing for Jimbo. She is however, jive cool and all around good peoples. i spent the night at her place, because at the time i didn’t have a car and lived out in East BumbleF**k. For the record, she had explicitly let me know before this that she is attracted to me but i told her that i looked at her like one of my cousins, which i do. Slept in the same bed, We spooned, arm between the breastes, whole nine. Nothing jumped off that night or since and We are still jive close. No sexual attraction on my end, and no unfounded expectations on hers, it worked. Example 2. With another platonic female friend, i have slept in the same bed with her numerous times. We have spooned approx. 75% of those times and nothing has ever happened. While there is some level of mutual attraction, We have never had any weird feelings about the whole thing. i think this is partly because of our mental c*ckblocks in regards to our friendship [i.e. "that's my sister/brother] and more importantly as We are close friends, We know WAY T.M.I. about each other to go down that road. My point is as long as both parties are clear about their relationship and the limits/expectations thereof, it shouldn’t be an issue. If you can’t have that type of discussion or understanding than that person isn’t really your “friend” to begin with. Now, if i DO have an expectation/desire to break off a female, then i am going to be extremely salty if the spooning doesn’t lead to forking. That’s how chicks get Supermanned. But if she is truly one of my platonic female friends a brotha is just happy to have the extra pillowing and bed heater.

    “i love you too much to ever start liking you…”- old reggae song

    Reply ↓

    • Now, if i DO have an expectation/desire to break off a female, then i am going to be extremely salty if the spooning doesn’t lead to forking. That’s how chicks get Supermanned.

      I always wondered and now I know
      Assalamu Alilkum

      Reply ↓

  39. Friends definately should not wrestle. Just too many things can happen when you puposely roll around with the opposite sex in the bed, on the floor, or some other spot with enough room for you to stretch out.

    Reply ↓

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