of the thousands of blogs, stories, and exposes written in the past two weeks about lebron james and “the decision“, the single most telling and revealing thing i read wasn’t this extensive adrian wojnarowski piece chronicling the years of behind-the-scenes moves leading up to july 8th, this 5,000 column from bill simmons the day before the decision special aired, or even these quotes from michael jordan about how lebron, dwade and their ilk are merely products of their time.

***btw, it’s funny how we chide and criticize basketball stars (ie: kobe) for relentlessly chasing after the jordan “psycho assassin” model of greatness, but then we turn around and chide and criticize a basketball star who completely eschews the jordan narrative/model to make his own, just because it doesn’t fit our pre-conceived expectations of how things are supposed to play out. klosterman was right: everybody truly is wrong about everything, all of the time***

no, everything you needed to know about the dynamics behind this circus could be found july 7th at tmz.com under “lebron sued by man claiming to be his father”

TMZ has learned … LeBron James and his mother Gloria James are being sued for millions by a man who claims he tried to prove he’s the NBA star’s biological father — but LeBron and his mom tampered with the evidence in a diabolical cover-up.

The lawsuit is explosive — in it, 55-year-old Leicester Bryce Stovell claims he met Gloria in a D.C. area bar in 1984 … and had unprotected sex with her on the night they met. He later found out she was 15-years-old at the time … he was 29.

According to the docs — filed recently in federal court — Gloria has spent the rest of her life shielding LeBron from the truth.

But the man making the claim isn’t some schmuck — dude is a Princeton graduate … who earned a law degree from the University of Chicago … and then became a Senior Legal Advisor for the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.

In his suit, Stovell claims he has a very clear recollection of the night he had “consensual sexual relations” with Gloria — in fact, he even remembers apologizing for his sub-par performance.

Leicester claims Gloria went back to her hometown in Ohio after they hooked up — but returned several months later to inform him she was pregnant with a boy named LeBron … but she never specifically identified the father

after you’ve gotten past the utter ridiculousness of a successful 50-something lawyer a) suing his neglected son because the son chose to ignore him (which is like a mugger suing you because you happened to be broke at the time he decided to mug you),  b) publicly admitting that he had sex with a 15 year old girl when he was 29, and c) publicly admitting that he wasn’t able to sexually satisfy a 15 year old girl, another theme starts to emerge:

lebron james must have some serious daddy issues.

i mean, i’ve read stories before about his mom’s (continued) indiscretions and the fact that he was basically homeless until he was a teenager, but exactly how f*cked up his home life and head must have been didn’t really dawn on me until this report. not only is this man unsure about who his real dad is, but out of the two most probable candidates, one is dead and the other is the type of guy that would sue his neglected son for 4 million dollars.

after reading this, everything about lebron’s recent actions started to make more sense. the almost pathological thirst for attention and praise. the air of fabricated unaffectedness he tries his damnedest to pull off when speaking about “what’s good for lebron“. his too-familiar tone and general lack of reverence when speaking to or about coaches and other elder authority figures. his need to be perpetually surrounded by friends, and the amount of life-altering influence these friends are able to wield.

it’s almost like someone created a “things men do when they’ve never had a dad” template and forced him to follow it.

now, i’m not writing this to give lebron a pass for his occasional bouts of diva behavior. i’m not saying that everything he does traces back to the lack of a fatherly figure in his life, and i’m not even saying that men who grew up without fathers will have similar characteristics. but, it’s interesting how much attention we give to female daddy issues and how they eventually manifest themselves in a relationship, when male daddy issues make the exact same monster.

just how (many) women affected by fatherlessness chase unavailable men to subconsciously replicate their fathers (lack of) affection, (many) fatherlessness men give themselves a layer of faux emotional unavailability to subconsciously replicate their fathers themselves. just how (many) of these women give off an aura of neediness and desperation, a permeating desire to be paid attention to by the opposite sex that goes past a normal emotional want, (many) of these men do the same, living a life where life is only worth living if you’re getting perpetual attention and recognition. just how (many) of these women chase relationship waterfalls because they have absolutely no idea what a “good” man is supposed to look like, (many) of these men are completely clueless about how a good man is supposed to act.

this (relative) lack of discussion about the affect of fatherlessness from a male relationship perspective isn’t surprising. unless it has something to do with crime, black men/males are usually neglected in the whole “how are things affecting you mentally, spiritually, and emotionally?” conversation. i guess people assume that if we’ve made it to 22 without getting murdered or murdering anybody yet, we’re cool. we’re not¹.

you know, one of my favorite snarky comments to make whenever i read about or witness a woman acting a damn fool in public is “i doubt she’s ever celebrated father’s day“. i probably should start saying that about men as well, but it doesn’t seem like it would be as funny.

¹my dad has always been around, so “we” in this instance is more of a general we.

—the champ