Kyrie Irving, and Why “Good” Men Make Bad Dating Decisions

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Crispy bacon. The NBA playoffs. The morning after you’ve slept with someone you’ve been attracted to for a long time. YouTube strippers. New Klosterman books. Achieving perfect beard symmetry.

Listed above are the only things on Earth that give me more pleasure than making true predictions and saying “I told you so,” so imagine my elation when Kyrie Irving — a person I touted last summer as the most complete high school point guard I’ve ever seen — ended up being the number 1 overall pick in the NBA draft.

But, although I’m still very confident that Irving will end up being a standout player once this G0d-awful lockout ends, I have to say that I’m disappointed in the fact that he’s making headlines this summer for all the wrong reasons.

From “Kyrie Irving has already gotten himself in a weird Twitter beef” (via Ball Don’t Lie)

Duke product Kyrie Irving, the first overall selection of the Cleveland Cavaliers in last month’s NBA draft, has filed a harassment claim and hopes to acquire a restraining order against a woman whom he allegedly met on Twitter. Also, knock us over with a feather if this doesn’t happen 25 more times in the 12 months with several other players.

Now, Irving did nothing illegal, and after reading about some of the particulars of this situation, the restraining order is definitely the right move. But, my disappointment lies in the fact that Irving somehow managed to even associate with a chick who is so conspicuously batshit that even Casey Anthony would say “That bitch is f*cking crazy!” (Too soon?)

It’s especially perplexing when you consider Irving’s atypical (well, atypical for a professional athlete) background. He grew up with a loving and supportive father (former professional basketball player Drederick Irving), had an upper-middle class upbringing, was strong enough academically to get accepted to Duke, and, from all accounts, is mature beyond his years. Basically, he’s the type of guy who should definitely know better than to have any type of interaction with a broad from the Bronx who calls herself “Miss Hawaii.”

But, although Irving’s misstep was disappointing, I can’t really say that it was all that surprising. I’ve been 19 before, and, well, lets just say that a line-up of the women I slept with or would have slept with at that age could easily pass for the dancers in the Walmart rap video.

Plus, professional athletes (and by “professional athletes” I mean “black NBA and NFL players who didn’t stay in college for four years“) are at a bit of a disadvantage when it comes to being able to identify and even meet quality women.

Think about it: If an athlete leaves school his freshman or sophomore year to enter the draft (or doesn’t go to school at all), most of the women he’s going to encounter as a young adult will be groupies. He’s not going to have the same opportunities to meet decent women with actual lives and aspirations of their own because they’re just not going to travel in the same circles.

Obviously, there are exceptions to this rule, but the majority of the men in that life don’t know anything other than the Evelyn Lozadas of the world. Because of this, a guy like me actually has more access to quality women — and “quality” in this case refers to women who are attractive and actually have goals past poking tiny holes in condoms — and more opportunity to actually get to know these women than most black professional athletes ever will.

Still, while the troubles a Kyrie Irving or a Roy Williams might have with women are easy to understand, how do you explain the fact that “guys like me” — regular joe schmoes with degrees and dads and sh*t — still make some of the same mistakes?

I mean, shouldn’t we know better? Shouldn’t we have been taught how to discern between “mate potential” and “may potentially cut holes in each of your shoes because you were 15 seconds to late to pick her up from work” sometime between sophomore year and last summer? Shouldn’t we have learned that the ability to bootyclap is an asset, not a requirement, and definitely not something you want to show off to your boss at your company’s annual volleyball game? Shouldn’t we know that the only woman whose big butt and smile merits automatic trust is Annie the Chicken Queen?

I can’t even excuse myself from this, as I’ve done things as a fully grown adult that would even make my 8 year old niece say “Uncle Champ, that was some dumb ass sh*t. Even I knew she was nuts, and I still suck my thumb and think Freddy Kruger really exists!!!”

We can’t use “well, she looked good” as a valid reason because while good-looking women are more likely to be nuts (It’s scientifically proven and sh*t), most of us can just as easily find an attractive woman who actually isn’t two sandwiches short of a picnic. Plus, well, some of these crazies we end up sleeping with and/or seriously dating aint exactly going to be Jet Beauty of The Week any time soon either. Shit, I see women working at the seafood section at Costco who look better than Miss (Ha!) Hawaii.

Part of me wants to say that batshit comes in all forms, and some women hide it so well that it’s difficult to sort the crazy colored Skittles from the rest of the bag. But, although this is true — some women are truly on some Jason Bourne shit when trying to keep from being spotted on the batshit grid — it’s a cop out. We all know when we’re taking a chance on a potential eventual restraining order, but we ignore the red lights and keep driving right on through that intersection, hoping that a police camera or an oncoming Dodge Ram don’t catch us.

Hmmm. Kyrie has his built in excuses. What the hell are ours?

—The Champ

When you get a minute, check out “Dating Online and the ‘Big Brother’ Types,” this week’s edition of The Champ’s advice column at Madame Noire.

558 thoughts on “Kyrie Irving, and Why “Good” Men Make Bad Dating Decisions”

  1. my first time commenting, and I’m first? Truly feeling blessed today!!!!! well, its austin Tx, so tonight. No wait, its 12am on the east coast, so TODAY!!!! lol. #needtosleep

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      • is it sad that I had to google PCP? lol. Nah, just have hw and essays due, don’t need to borrow extra unnecessary stress (y am i in summer school again? smh). But reading this blog at night, esp the comments, gives me chuckles and bursts of laughter that keep me awake (and scare sleeping roommates, LOL) #burningmidnightoil

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  4. Hotness. If a woman is fine many a man will set sail down the river of Denial. Hot chicks get away with the most.

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    • She’s not hot. Period. Weave and breasts do not a hot woman make. And the sooner men get this, the better off y’all will be.

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        • but we have been told time and time again what women think is hot in other women isn’t necessarily what men think is hot in a women… maybe something about her face and eyes screams hot nasty s.ex here!!! men see something we can’t see because they see with “testosterone glasses” and we don’t

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          • “but we have been told time and time again what women think is hot in other women isn’t necessarily what men think is hot in a women… maybe something about her face and eyes screams hot nasty s.ex here!!! men see something we can’t see because they see with “testosterone glasses” and we don’t”

            she’s not hot at all, but she has big boobs and she does scream “i’d eat your babies for a subway breakfast sandwich and a week pass to Urban Active”

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            • Champ.. care to try to break down for us women folk what is it that gives off that “oh yea she nasty in the good way” just from looking at her face? is it the eyes, the hair, the smile the what? what are the finer points of the freak face?

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              • Yea, I wanna know too b/c she looks like a MESSY BRACH. Not ugly, but expression & the amount of cleavage are signaling danger ahead.

                I read the article on BDL & clicked the YouTube link, had to stop it after 15 seconds – she seems like a desperate fame-whore. Why would anyone hook up w/ anyone who calls themselves Miss Hawaii??? Poor younginz…

                It could have been something as simple as him tweeting where he’d be & she showed up there, who the hell knows. Eager to hear the breakdown of why men would find this chick irresistible & worth the risk!

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                • Irresistible is a significant stretch. You hit it, he’s a youngster and she has whore potential. Every man has dipped in the well on occasion. And probably when we’re young. That chick has “you can do what you want to me” written all over her. Not an excuse, just a reason.

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              • Funny, my opinion probably doesn’t count but she doesn’t look like a good lay at all. (I can tell lol) She looks like a woman who wouldn’t know how to ride, probably give too much teeth and be alittle over zealous with no method to her madness….BUT….she looks like someone who would let a man do ANYTHING to her or aim to please. That bottom, gutter type girl. Many men like that sort of thing. lol

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                • BUT….she looks like someone who would let a man do ANYTHING to her or aim to please. That bottom, gutter type girl. Many men like that sort of thing. lol

                  A+ assessment

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                • “Funny, my opinion probably doesn’t count but she doesn’t look like a good lay at all. (I can tell lol) She looks like a woman who wouldn’t know how to ride, probably give too much teeth and be alittle over zealous with no method to her madness….BUT….she looks like someone who would let a man do ANYTHING to her or aim to please. That bottom, gutter type girl. Many men like that sort of thing. lol”

                  i agree with this too. she probably sucks at sex, but you could definitely put it — and “it” could be a penis, a finger, a candlestick, or a bag of lettuce — in her butt.

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        • She looks sneaky in that pic up there though. I think it’s that pose.

          She has sex appeal in that pic up top but I aint calling this broad no Jordin Sparks. But when you go here, you see that she aint cute…at all. http://blacksportsonline.com/home/2011/07/jessica-miss-hawaii-jackson-exposed-arrests-stalking-naked-pics-hooker/

          And, yah, i mentioned this yesterday but this new Jordin Sparks is something serious. Reposting this link for the VSBs to see it
          http://vfare36.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/jordin-sparks-bikini-shoot-people-magazine-203848.jpg?w=600

          In short, Andi. Upon first sight, she’s decent, and upon further examination….RUN!

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          • First, HOLY COW at new Jordan Sparks. Go head girl!

            Second, this is what qualifies as decent these days? Hmm…

            Thanks for your input WUT :)

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          • She got some pics where she’s cool and then others that are quite “questionable”. As a rule I actively seek the worst picture of a woman and assume that’s what she looks like on a good day in person. As far as this chick’s smashability, in the proper situation (minus ALL crazy) I guess it’s possible. Factoring in the crazy, it wouldn’t matter if it was Jordin, I gotta take a pass.

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            • As a rule I actively seek the worst picture of a woman and assume that’s what she looks like on a good day in person

              This is so funny to me because I was more photogenic in college, and less photogenic now post-degrees and isht. These friggin degrees aren’t keeping me warm and are killing my sexy-photo game. *kicks trashcan*

              If I didn’t know I was cute I’d go slide against a wall or something.

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            • I run a similar test. And I also believe that if a chick doesnt take good pictures, ever, its impossible for her to be attractive. I don’t believe in that “i just dont take good pictures” mess. the camera doesnt lie. you do.

              i take a few of her “worst” pics since some folks get caught in a bad angle. and ive seen some bad angles.

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              • I don’t take good pics. The ones in my avi (which I haven’t logged in so…yeah) are some of my best. Cuz the camera and me aint never been friends.

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                • I don’t know if you don’t take good pics, but I know you don’t take consistent pics. It’s like the camera does an artistic interpretation each time you click it. One minute you look like a smoothed over Omarosa, the next minute you look like a Tracy Spencer Stunt Double.

                  Like really Mo… who are you? You frighten me because I can’t pick you out of a police line and I need that kind of stability in my life. :)

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                  • LOL… this is me, seriously. My ex-bf (who was an ex-cop) his best friend was captain on the police force. I told ex-bf once that his friend looked different every time I saw him. He said that was funny because his friend said the same thing about me!

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                    • I’m with the poh-leese on this one. You’re probably a chameleon like Mo-Vss.

                    • The only thing that’s similar about your photos is that in each one… you’re still African American. Ain’t nary a thing else the same.

                      On the upside this is what most people I know would call a good pic. But like every VSS on here you are probably your own worst critic.

              • I endorse this message. It’s hard to believe that you dont have ONE good picture. Everyone has one fallback. Facebook is the classic okie doke. I had to start telling my homeboys to look at pics posted by other people of the chick their interested in because everyone is putting their best foot forward on the profile pics, the third party posters couldnt give two $hits whether its her good side or it accentuates her a$$. Fool proof and works everytime.

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          • Jordin Sparks is so banging its ridiculous. And she has the girl next door quality about her that makes her seem like a total keeper.

            Operation Jordin Sparks is in full effect. Wait…is she married or dating somebody?

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            • i can’t speak to who might be taking her to dinner but i believe she stated some time back that she is ~saving~ herself.

              but that was before she started twittering half nekkid bathroom photos of herself.

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              • ” i believe she stated some time back that she is ~saving~ herself”

                I’m thinking that “saving herself” thing went out the window when she was dating Steph Jones.
                At least, that’s what I think. *wink*

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        • Miss I never actually been to Hawaii…i’ll def pass on her face isnt cute to me, she got some tatas but that aint enough…and i may be the minority but i liked Jordin when she was thicker

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        • Andi, that woman ain’t fine and the fact that a dude who was the first pick in the NBA draft didn’t see that, means that the Cavs will be in lottery again next year. “Miss Hawaii”? Give me a break. There are some cats that treat average looking and below average looking women like supermodels just because they wear some low-cut top or a short skirt. I can understand some of the dudes from the block acting like she’s all that, but even the average NBA player can meet real models, all day every day.

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        • Not.at.all…however, that’s only after some training and experience with deciphering what I like to call the “Woman’s Matrix Smokescreen.”

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        • Afro,

          Dat pic’s gonna give me nightmares…She got pancake batter on her face and no matter how much she tilts her head a double chin. That thing you posted hunts down athletes and preys on them. I’m gonna create repellent, sell it, and go broke when nan athletes buy it cuz her lure (chex) is stronger than their good sense. SMH.

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        • but she looks scary in that pic.. wth?? i no likey :(

          let me find out i need to make a twitter, have these boobs up to my chin, let the curly hair loose and i too can have ballers…

          #babymamacomeupgameproper

          thank god i stay away from the twitter.. looks like the land where souls go to die and babies rot in hell…

          Reply ↓

          • In the words of B.Scott….She’s a TROLLOP!!!!

            I parted ways with Twitter although it provided me with so much entertainment. I just can’t be productive with all the foolishness I get sucked into on there.

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          • Nah…a halfway pretty pass because of the lightskin points.
            We’re referring to a past VSB post about “Light Skin Points”.

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            • One question, is the crazometer digital or analog? I’m just curious if it would be a needle-and-dial display or some sort of back lit LED situation. For those of us with bad eyes it matters.

              #OldManComment

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                • See? This is how it starts. One minute they’re ribbing you about your age on the ninja-nets, next minute they’re saying, “f#ck your couch and the Medicare and Social Security caught in between the cushions… eat cat food and die Old Man Winter”

                  Where is AARP when you need them?

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            • So… this crazometer. Would that be digital or analog? We talking about a needle-and-dial display or some sort of back lit LED situation… ? Just curious… those of us with bad eyes need to know in advance.

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  6. it’s getting harder and harder for dudes to recognize quality amidst the quantity, didn’t yesterday’s post answer that question? lol

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    • Today’s post is proof of what we were saying yesterday… (SIDE NOTE: yes, as a black man, I know all too well that we don’t need to add even one more brick in the monument dedicated to the Criticism of Black women. But um…)

      …yeah… you’re not all catches. In my heart of hearts I’d like to think that most of you are (51%) but yeah… not all of you.

      #ImSorryMsJackson

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      • No, today is proof of the male problem. You all go where there are CLEARLY signs saying “Toxic! Hazardous material ahead” and then say, oh I can’t find a good woman either. Must be them. What exactly about her twitter said classy? I’ll wait.

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        • ^^^^ This and all of it.

          This chick screams “danger with a hint of STD” but he still went for the meet up. If this is what he’s choosing all the time, and then wants to holler at 27 about “no good women” then it’s his fault. He was an idiot, plain and simple.

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        • Men are bascially electrons… we seek “the path of least resistance” (almost to the point of being criminally lazy when we’re young). What Kyle proved was that for younger men in general, Laziness > Intelligence.

          It’s easy to say that we should know what women are what type of women when we meet them, but truth be told, it’s not like Team Heaux or Team Crazy is a static group. Hell some of y’all changes jerseys in the middle of the game. For every Kat Stacks Stalker, there are 10 or 15 cleverly disguised Diggers, Straight Jacket Models, and Heauxs.

          Still there is a component of accountability that we, men, can’t transfer to anyone else. You can’t ask the inmates to police the asylum. When you know you could be a target, you have to ACT like you are being hunted. So what Kyle needs to learn (in a hurry) that Intelligence + Delayed Gratification > Ease of Access + Instant Gratification. The more time you invest in getting to know if she’s crazy, the better chance you have of detecting it.

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  8. He was an idiot. Case closed.

    Sure, he’ll not have the same opps to meet quality women but that doesn’t excuse using judgement that is beyond a 2nd grade level. She’s a twitter wh0re who uses the social network to score on men she feels she can come up on. That being said, he was still dumb for meeting with her. If all he wanted was sex, there are many other women I’m sure he as access to who are much less messy than this chick.

    While the types of people you meet and your life experience may limit or shape your decision making, stupidity is stupidity across the board. And he’s clearly no exception to that rule.

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    • “If all he wanted was sex, there are many other women I’m sure he as access to who are much less messy than this chick.”

      yeah. that’s the part that perplexes me. i’m sure their are a ton of future lawyer and senator chicks at duke who’d break their necks to do whatever kyrie wanted from miss hawaii.

      actually, that’s a lie. it’s not perplexing at all. he’s 19 and she has boobs the size of Shaq’s babies.

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      • yeah. that’s the part that perplexes me. i’m sure their are a ton of future lawyer and senator chicks at duke who’d break their necks to do whatever kyrie wanted from miss hawaii

        Yes and no. Most groupies, even those that hide their groupie tendencies and act like wifey to get that ring, have a lower bar for entry than future lawyer and senator chicks. And, they have a much lower tolerance for athletes tomfoolery because they really don’t need them to have a decent life. Even if you have stars in your eyes and just want to smash dude cuz he’s the star athlete, you will be quickly disallusioned when you interact with them and find out their nothing but silly azz, disrespectful kneegrows with entitlement complexes and likely creepycrawlies.

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        • “Even if you have stars in your eyes and just want to smash dude cuz he’s the star athlete, you will be quickly disallusioned when you interact with them and find out their nothing but silly azz, disrespectful kneegrows with entitlement complexes and likely creepycrawlies.”

          This may or may not be true, depending on said future lawyer/senator chick. As someone who went to a school with big time sports programs, I have witnessed these otherwise sensible young ladies putting up with much nonsense, cooking meals, washing dirty drawers, tutoring and writing papers, and doing all things freaknasty and wifey related. They will still get that B.S. but because they held the dude down they put careers on the back burner for that MRS. Remember, these girls are only 19 years old also. 19 year old girls do crazy things for boys all the time, no matter how smart they are, especially when they have fallen in love with the athlete who will be a first round draft pick.

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          • I have made similar observations… 19 year olds tend to act like…

            …19 year olds (i.e. with limited insight and wisdom)

            I bet you Kyrie is better off for the experience… at least I hope he is (I mean Elliot Spitzer should have known better than what he did – but then again I think we all do stupid stuff, we just learn how to better avoid the consequences sometimes when we get older)

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          • So true, I saw it too in college, with my proximity to a top rated D-1 sports program. However, it remained that the women w/ more going for themselves tender to leave sooner than the full-out groupies w/ no backup plan.

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            • Yeah, I agree. Women were falling all over themselves for a chance at the ring with some maybe future NFL hall of famer, but in the end, the truly stupid ones who came to college to do nothing more than party on the gov’t dime and not actually, you know, earn a degree and sh*t were the ones who hung onto men like this for dear life.

              The smarter ones wised up and started hanging with the men in the med/law/engineer programs hoping to find the next low-key meal ticket.

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            • Chile, sometimes a green, book smart chick will be willing to put all of her hopes and dreams aside to chase the dreams of one of those em effers.

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    • exactly this. stupidity is stupidity.

      and just because you grow older, doesnt mean you grow out of stupidity. theres apparently no age limit on when ppl decide to start making good decisions and laying stupidity to rest.

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  9. i promise, i will read the post.

    but lets see…*looks at her ‘model’ pics (see Black Sports Online for many of them), estimates her stats to be 36-24-34?

    yeah…i already know why good men make bad dating decisions.

    on another note…
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEMMIE!!!!!
    *insert Yoles emoticons here. lol.

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