Babies Aren’t Birth Control. Kids’ Birthday Parties Are Birth Control. » VSB

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Babies Aren’t Birth Control. Kids’ Birthday Parties Are Birth Control.

In November 2015, I wrote a piece called “Babies Aren’t Birth Control, Day Care Is Birth Control,” where I expressed the myriad frustrations, both financial and psychological, that arise when you lose the battle with prophylactics or fate and are required to find a safe, secure, and healthy place for your child to be when you have to work to provide for them. At the time, I was the proud owner parent of a 6-year-old and an 8-month-old, with another on the way.

To wit:

Daycare is a motherfucker.

Listen, babies and kids are great. Having to find somebody to watch them? That’s that bullshit. If you’re like most people, you are not rich. And you also cannot afford for one of you – assuming that there are two of you at the ready in the first place – to quit your job and stay home and watch the baby/babies until they’re old enough to speak and tell you what’s going on. That? That’s the ideal situation. Almost nobody but the rich has the ideal situation. Most of us need our jobs and multiple incomes coming in to take care of the lives we’vc created.

So what this mean is that you’ll fall down the rabbit hole of having to locate some stranger whose entire job it is to convince you that they’re the best option available to take care of your child. Keep in mind, this person will spend more waking hours per day with your child than you will. So this new person at this new facility is going to tell you everything you need to hear, then charge you an arm and four legs for their services which, let’s be real, you’re inclined to want to pay. The belief is that the more you pay, the better quality services.

All of that is true and livin’. Daycare still remains the single biggest cost associated with child-rearing because it’s a constant. And if you live in a city like DC, you can add the cost of education to that tab. Pretty much, if you don’t have kids, to see what it feels like to be a parent, instead of direct deposit, get you a physical copy of your next check, look at it, smile, then light it on fire.

Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting. But parenting isn’t bad. I love being a parent. I’d wager that all of us who are parents have discovered a sense of pure joy at these little people sharing our genes as we get to watch them evolve into their own personalities and faces. Sure they’re of our blood, but they are forging their own lives. It’s a beautiful thing. Bigly.

And to top it off, every year, you get the opportunity to celebrate another year of keeping them alive with these annual festivities called kids’ birthday parties.

Bruh.

Just add kids’ birthday parties to the list of expenses that fly out of the window like Lil Kim CDs and my phone every time a grime rapper shows up on a playlist while I’m washing dishes, peacefully, in my humble abode. I wash dishes with my windows open. Fully clothed, but windows open.

Little children don’t really need big birthday parties; parties are for the parents. A 2-year-old will not remember his birthday party nor will he or she even know it was their birthday. But here we go, doling out HUNDREDS of dollars. We like to see our kids with joy on their faces and you’ll be amazed at what you’re willing to pay for that.

So for you unitiated individuals, let me drop some cold, hard science on you.

Let’s say that you have a kid, maybe 3-years-old. You ask the kid if he wants a party. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t give a shit. He’s a honeybadger. But you want him to have all the fun because your baby boy deserves the world. Turns out that the world isn’t cheap and tomorrow is never enough.

You remember that baby place you took your kid too where he had fun? Well, that place, JUST to have your party there is easily $300 bucks. Now that includes admission for, say 10 kids. But you know more than 10 kids because unfortunately for you, you and your kid are popular. And you can’t NOT invite people because feelings and shit. So add, say, $10 bucks per extra kid. You have just spent $400 for 20 kids to literally enter an establishment and play for 2 hours (all parties are like 2 hours).

But you can’t just let kids come in and play. Kids need cake. And you aren’t going to skimp on a birthday cake for Lil Johnny. Lil Johnny loves Spiderman. So you scour pinterest and the internet for the dope Spiderman cake and you find one. It costs $200. You haggle and get the price down to $100-$150 since its specialty.

We’re at $500.

You need food. Kids can’t NOT eat. They also cannot eat your love for hip-hop. So you have to feed the chilluns. There goes at least another $100 in pizza, chicken nuggets, or whatever plus drinks.

We’re at $600.

You need party favors. $50

And this assumes you don’t buy an additional decorations, which the venue might provide or maybe they just own a big ass open room and you have to get a huge Spiderman blowup doll for $25-$30 plus extra streamers or shit to put on the wall.

You can get to $700 REAL quick for a party your kid will forget by the next day. Obviously costs fluctuate and that can change drastically if you do the party at home (though you then have to clean up extensively because kids are a disaster waiting to happen at all times). But your costs for cake, food, favors, and decorations is a constant. The least you’ll be paying is the cost of a few weeks worth of brunches at that spot you like with those bottomless mimosas you love because they add that little thing you like when they do that little thing they do.

And lord, don’t let you have a kid whose birthday is RIGHT after Christmas (like I do) because you will drop a yard on Christmas and turn right around and have to spend another grip on a birthday party because your child doesn’t deserve to get shortchanged.

As kids get older, the parties can get cheaper (you start to limit the number of people because cost, or alternate years they can have parties instead of a family night, etc.) but if you look to do an experience, the costs can go up. Your kids will remember those things and they’re dope, but your bank account may curse you out because you STILL have to get kids gifts. Well, at least kids who are old enough to realize that gifts are part of birthdays.

Point is, for those of you considering children but ain’t sure you’re ready, you better keep making sure that condom is still on and those pills are on time because you will love your kids and those kids are deserving of parties and fun. And it’s gon’ run ya. Sure it’s only once a year (or twice or thrice or frice, etc. depending on how many kids you have) but it can still amount to major hit that will have you wondering where the hell the money went.

But ultimately, Lil’ Johnny will have had a blast and you’ll be happy about it. Until the next time and you start to say, where the hell is all this money going? The answer? It’s going to the money pit: your happy and joyously appreciative in the moment kid.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • LadiDD

    Well at least it’s not possum vagina….

    • Michelle is my First Lady

      I mean, even in this new article possum pu$$y haunts us. The picture there for all to view as we post on the right side listed under Most Viewed Stories Today.

    • JBusy

      I was thinking the same. Traumatic possum vag…

    • ckyjeans

      I blocked that image on the front page, the sidebar, and “more like this” section. I blocked the actual tweet too.

      • LadiDD

        How do you block that image because I still see it T___T

        • ckyjeans

          Download either uBlock Origin and/or Adblock Plus if you don’t have those already. Then you can right click the image and go to “block element.” I rarely use it but this but ole possum article called for it.

  • Shoutout to the blog for helping me stay child free.

    Whenever y’all make these posts I always think of that Dave Chapelle skit and remember that I love me more.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/YVBC4HdSpB7z2/giphy.gif

    • kingpinenut

      As long as you “practicing” you good

    • HAH! I use this gif all the time when people come to me with that “So when are you going to have kids?” question. Which is never preceded with “Do you have a mate with which to create and raise said kids?” I guess at the age of 3X, the implication is wrapped up in one question.

      I give major props to anyone that has decided or will decide to have children. That’s a commitment and an admirable life choice decision…that I will never make. I love my money. And my sleep. And my freedom.

      • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

        Don’t leave out privacy, because those crumb snatchers won’t even let you go to the bathroom in peace.

        • Wild Cougar

          My dog follows me to the bathroom.

          • HoneyRose

            Mine too. And she’ll sit on my feet.

          • Mochasister

            Aww, mine used to do that too. RIP Manchas.

          • Serenity

            my cat does that… and if I should close the door and he can’t open it, he sits outside with hate in eyes

        • L8Comer

          My niece used to Always pull back the shower curtain and want a full explanation of everything I was doing or was going to do. It could be annoying but was mostly adorable and hilarious

        • Mochasister

          My mother said I used to stick my little fingers under the door when she went to the bathroom.

        • pls

          2 years passed before I had a shower by myself again.

      • Being able to pick up and go when I want is golden. I don’t have to worry about diaper bags, carriers, babysitters, etc. life is good

        • Jonniewhudson

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dg166c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !dg166c:
          ??
          ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs456DigitalStuffGetPaid$97/Hour ????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!dg166c:….,….

        • pls

          and I despise you and your freedom!

          • well someone has to carry that cross, I am willing to make that sacrifice!

      • Or follow it up with how THEY’RE going to financially assist.

      • Glo

        I don’t know why, but no one ever asks me if/when I’m going to have kids or if/when I’m going to settle down. Not my mom, my grandma, or my friends. No one asks. I’m 27, and most of my friends have been getting these questions for a while now.

        I know that it’s largely because most of my loved ones think I’m a tiny bit crazy, but it is nice to not be hassled all the same.

        • HoneyRose

          My mom and my cousin have given up, because apparently 30 is Too Old for me to still want kids *side eye*. But my sister and my in-laws are just getting ramped up. They ask me if I’m pregnant literally every time we talk on the phone.

          • Emmie

            Wow 30 really? Let me hang up my fallopian tubes now…my mom won’t stop saying “well now that you’re done with your degrees I’m praying to God that you find a good man” = give me grandbabies lol

            • TheHotness

              Mom is getting ready to retire and keeps dropping hints like… I dont know what Im going to do, I want someone to take care of. Have a baby (im 34) and I will take care of it. Every years I just tell her maybe next year.. in the mean time, keep brushing up on your by practicing on me ..Shyt. I like hot food and clean clothes too. taking care of myself is hard work. LOL

        • BmoreLikeLA

          Same age, same no hassle. I think it’s because I just lived at home last year (moved out September 16) and so they still see me as dependent on them, and not able to raise a kid yet. The last part is true, but only bc Sallie Mae won’t let me be great…but either way, I’m not looking at kids until I hit that 30 mark. The bf is 33 and he is happy keeping his own money, so we might not even go that route…our cocker spaniel is cute enough

      • Mochasister

        In other words you like not having to share your s*** with anyone! It is nice I must say.

    • Diego Duarte
      • I agree. I have a host of baby cousins and some of my friends have children as well. Right now my thoughts on kids are that I won’t have any and if I do, they’ll be foster kids.

        • Runthempearlshoe

          Would recommend this comment!

          Are you me? My sis just had a baby and she keeps asking me if her experience has affected me at all. I’m like h e l l yh. The only way I’m having kids is if I adopt a grown one. IF THAT.

          • My desire to do that stems from my cousin. She and her siblings are the product of two mentally challenged adults. My uncle and his wife had no business having kids so the state took them all. My other uncles tried to bring them in but they had so many issues. I’d like to be someone that can take in kids that don’t have anyone. There are plenty of children out here who need families without me going out of my way to make my own.

            • Runthempearlshoe

              That’s so sad. I hope they’re doing well now. I completely agree, I used to date a guy who was in and out of foster care and finally got adopted around the age of 8. Prior to meeting him I was sure I would adopt a baby because doing my bit but also cute, but he was basically like there’s so many grown kids out there who need a home and will never get one because people only want brand new kids (I’m paraphrasing). That tugged on my heart strings for sure!

              • It’s the reality of adoption/foster system. People want babies/toddlers because they’re cute and come with less baggage than older children.

                • That’s the myth but young kids can come with their own baggage. My son has been with me since 4 and we’ve been in therapy the entire time. Think about it, if a child is in foster care something has not gone right in their (or their families) life. That has an impact.

                  • That’s true Mo to tha. And that’s the reason I would like to foster or adopt (in addition to having my own kids).* Dealing with and working to heal deep trauma doesn’t stick out to me as unnatural because it just is a part of my life that I and the people around me face head on. (There aren’t many skeletons in my family’s closet because we talk so damn much!) I’m less likely to see it as a burden because I don’t know any other existence. CBT, DBT, support groups etc. just are. At least I hope that helps! It could just be a crazy me and a crazy child!

                • grownandsexy2

                  I read somewhere that some couples adopt according to skin color. Light-skinned babies are the most preferred.

                  • No! Why can’t people do right?

                    • grownandsexy2

                      Sad, isn’t it? Dark-skinned babies languishing in the system.

    • Emmie

      Dead.a$$.

    • Kat

      LMBAO…self love is important!

  • SoonToBeMrs

    What is a one year old celebrating? They have no understanding. 2 yr old the same, 3yrs the same. 4 I can see it. What we gon do is have a cake and have your friends over and that’s that. I don’t see the need of elaborate parties and money flying out the gate. A cake with friends is enough. If you don’t like it, find new parents.

    • Same.

      I think parents just want to make sure they’re creating these memories for picture albums and such. These kid parties sound like mini wedding receptions these days.

      • SoonToBeMrs

        Pics erryday that does it.

      • Sweet Ga Brown

        Its a visual “proof” used to show that they are good parents years down the road.

      • grownandsexy2

        My niece is planning a party for her soon to be one year old and has been since planning since the middle of last year. She has two other chirren and their parties rival any wedding. Chile……..

        • I don’t really find all that to be necessary but I’m not a parent so what do I know.

          • Runthempearlshoe

            Enough. You know enough.

    • panamajackson

      Yeah, I said that. These parties are for parents.

    • DoubleTrouble

      I wonder who has good pictures of their 1 year old birthday party? In most cases the darling is either sleeping or bawling his/her head off.

      • SoonToBeMrs

        exactamundo.

      • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast
        • Looks like he had a good time lol

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            It was a good time.

        • DoubleTrouble

          Hahaha. Look at who is wearing cake! Nice pic Kasito

        • SoonToBeMrs

          I’m not a baby person but that one is yummy.

        • Michelle is my First Lady

          Is that you Kas?

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            It is, with a lot less hair

        • Val

          Why are you sweating, Man. Lol! The little one was wearing you out.

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            Hard work trying to be the center of attention while holding a chunky 1-year old.

        • Mika

          awwww.

      • panamajackson

        Naw, I have awesome pics from my sons first bday party. My daughter’s too now that I think about it. I’m a pro.

      • Mrs_diabolique

        Sounds bout right. Only decent pic of my 1 yr old (at the time) at her birthday party is her screaming her head of.

      • GenevaGirl

        I have great pictures of my first birthday party and I looked adorable. Then again my dad is a professional photographer.

    • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

      Each of my kids got a party for turning 1, so I would have pictures later in life to prove I was a great dad. Since then, cake with the family and possibly drop some cupcakes by school for their class.

      • SoonToBeMrs

        Good for you.

        • Lol stop this. Let the parents of VSB vent and share

          • SoonToBeMrs

            I ain’t stopping anybody.

      • Michelle is my First Lady

        A big birthday party at least once or twice is a good idea. I threw my niece and nephews a huge birthday when they each turned 13. It is a big deal to a child.

        • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

          The past couple of years they have plotted on all the people who did them wrong with the idea they wouldn’t invite those people to their birthday party. So far still no birthday party to lord over their classmates’ heads. I like to think it is character building.

          • Sweet Ga Brown

            Not inviting someone to your bday party while in grade school is the ultimate pay back. The non-invite is the ultimate f-u without having to do anything at all. The kids who get invited will do all the dirty work.

        • Leggy

          Is it really? I think I got a 1 year old party (obviously don’t remember), but I never had a party ever again. Just my favourite meal and cake with family and I’ve never looked back as an adult and thought – my parents must not have loved me because I never had a party.

      • Jae Starz

        You mah people! I plan to be in this same boat. Momma bakes so I can almost guarantee cupcakes at school.

    • Jae Starz

      My little just turned one in Feb. We had a party. Not as elaborate as I have seen on IG mainly cause this momma is a DIY’er. It was mainly to celebrate that we made it through the first year. Next party will be 5. 2-4 you can find us at home with cake, pizza and the grandparents.

      • SoonToBeMrs

        That’s dope. Normal. Sane.

      • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

        Exactamundo

      • Dmaclee

        My six year old asked to go to Chuck E Cheese and Target for her bday. It was the day before thanksgiving and it was just the immediate family. We hit up Target after and she picked out a toy. She was more excited that I came to her class that morning and got to see her be the Birthday Person of the Day. I was glad that I got to do that.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      I second this

    • UrbanNortheast

      First birthday parties are for the adults. On the plus side, they usually have alcohol.

    • KNeale

      Yeah when I read this I was thinking AWWW PJ is a a loving good parent that wants his kids to have the world…but I won’t be! Lol. I had a total of two parties in my entire childhood. 1 halloween party with my sister (Which for the current parents is a good idea it is a cheaper and probably funner option for kids that are of age to trick or treat). And 1 birthday party when I was living with my dad/stepmother who had come up a little. We did not have any kind of funds for that most of the time. I didn’t even get to go on all the field trips because money wasn’t there so Iont even know what yall talkin bout!

      I know everyone rolls their eyes when you say what you ‘would’ d if you had kids but…no birthday parties for babies. And we can celebrate you at home when you finally reach an age with a long term memory. Or maybe I’ll bring cupcakes to your class. Maybe. I’m not spending hundreds of dollars for admission of 20 chilren to discovery zone you gone have to just hate mommy.

    • Roz

      Let me introduce you to Nigerians…one yr old birthday parties are like wedding repeats. Let it be a boy, too?? mayne listen

    • This is what we did. 50 dollars tops. These birthday celebrations are down right ridiculous and if its a cholce of college fund or party – well you can guess where my money went.

    • pls

      UMMMMMM Those first 3 are for US! We survived and so did baby!

  • Val

    No photos? I always look forward to seeing how the VSB babies are growing up.

    • panamajackson

      You know what, I have on occasion posted pics of my kids online, but generally, I don’t like doing it. I don’t know all these folks outchea. Now, if you follow me on FB, you see my kids all up and through there.

      • Michelle is my First Lady

        FB baby pictures are THEE WORST! Parents have NO filter at all! I had to delete a friend after she posted a picture of her son using the potty for the first time. Baby was a$$ naked and everything, covering his little private parts.

        • DoubleTrouble

          another reason I am glad I no longer have a facebook acct

      • Val

        Yeah, I overstand. It’s just as a non-parent it’s fun to see other people’s kids growing up.

  • LogicalLeopard

    Nah, son. You think you’ve been through something? You want nightmares? Three words. Chuck. E. Cheese. Like a war zone, only with Dwight Howard singing on a video screen. And yes, you heard me right.

    • Michelle is my First Lady

      This is all the truth. Chuck E Cheese gives me the worst of nightmares. Nothing like snot-nosed critters running around touching all the games and peeing in the ball pit.

      • LogicalLeopard

        I never even thought about what’s in that ball pit….*shudder*

        • Michelle is my First Lady

          It is worse than possum pu$$y.

          • LogicalLeopard

            Now I need therapy……*L*

            • Michelle is my First Lady

              LOL!

        • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

          Don’t think about it.

        • grownandsexy2

          The ball pit is where all the germs are.

      • Sweet Ga Brown

        Or a kid being in the top of the ball pit jungle gym thingy then having a complete breakdown because they don’t know how to get out and a parent has to crawl all the way up there pushing kids out to way to get to their po lil tink tink.

    • panamajackson

      I’ve been to Chuck E. Cheese more times than I care to mention. Thing is, at least they have food and everything there. Chuck E. Cheese is actually a pretty smart way to do it. All entertainment is provided. All food is provided.

      • LogicalLeopard

        It can be tolerable, if you can manage to go when hardly anyone is there, like maybe a weeknight or something. But I’ve never really been able to find that time, because of course, when you have a party, you’re usually having it on a weekend on a Saturday when EVERYONE is there.

    • miss t-lee

      Chuck E. Cheese is like the 7th circle of Dante’s Inferno.

      • LogicalLeopard

        It’s only a couple Inferno card punches away from being the 8th.

        • miss t-lee

          You tell no lies.

    • Val

      I hate it that Stanford made it to…oh wait, you’re talking about the men’s tournament. Nevermind.

      • I know nothing about women’s basketball on any level. Sorry Val.

        • Val

          Same with me and men’s basketball.

      • Cheech

        When did Tara turn into Frumpy Grandma?

        ETA I liked it when her Melissa-looking assistant grabbed her and held her down. Like Shelly holding Dubya.

        • Val

          I didn’t even watch the Stanford game. I can’t stand them.

          • Cheech

            So you’re looking forward to them going down to the ‘C * ks?

            • Val

              Yep. That’s the only reason I’m watching the tournament at this point. It’s time someone took UConn down and that someone is SC.

      • Madam CJ_Skywalker

        I hear you.
        I’m disappointed that UMDW lost so early. I was hoping for a rematch v. UConn…alas UMD underachieved once again.

        I think Stanford will be the best match up v UConn tho.

        • Val

          I’m hoping Oregon upsets UConn and South Carolina beats Florida State. And if UConn wins I think SC can handle UConn.

          • Madam CJ_Skywalker

            Lol. I have SC beating F. State.
            UConn over Oregon.
            I REALLY want SC to pull the upset v UConn, but I seen what UConn did to them earlier this season…so I’m not holding my breath

  • Mika

    This. And Baby showers. Cause if I calculate how much money I spend on those things. I believe in milestone bdays, 1, 5, 10, 13, 16, and 18, if you are lucky.

    • I just finished helping my God sister with her baby shower and it was truly a test of my patience.

      I enjoy nothing about event planning and each time I’m pulled to help a friend/family member throw one, I always regret agreeing.

      • Mika

        I would rather just spend more money on your gift.

      • DoubleTrouble

        so why? SN: I was recently told that as god mother it was my duty to buy my godson a new pair of church pants, and provide snacks for a preschool outing.

        • Mika

          Wait, what? I respectfully decline those roles as well. I also think people misconstrue what a godparents role really is.

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            Godparent’s official role is to take over in case of death. Presents and what not are gravy.

            • Mika

              People don’t get that. You know how many pics I see on facebook/IG with the “goddy baby” caption?

            • miss t-lee

              Exactly.

            • Amazonian Midget

              Right. When I was in high school and saw my friends becoming godmothers at 16, I wondered, “They really don’t understand what that means, do they?” My family always selected other family members to be our child’s godparent.

            • Jae Starz

              I had folks that were straight up salty at my picks for godparents. Like excuse me because we had requirements other than “been friends since HS”.

          • miss t-lee

            It’s not to be taken lightly.

        • SoonToBeMrs

          Wait, what?! Nah mamiiii.

          • DoubleTrouble

            Yup. I frequently get “he needs this for school” or” he needs that for school”

            • SoonToBeMrs

              Where his daddy at?!?!

              • Mika

                We all want to know lol.

                • miss t-lee

                  Seriously. i just asked that here to no one in particular.

              • DoubleTrouble

                Daddy is there but mummy and daddy have a very interesting relationship. Most times it boils down to chexual relief. Daddy is hardly faithful

                • SoonToBeMrs

                  That ain’t your problem.

            • miss t-lee

              Ehhhh. She running your pockets. That ain’t what that’s about.

        • Because contrary to popular belief, I’m a great person and an even greater friend. I’m also hoping that all these heaux return the favor in the event that someone makes the mistake of trying to marry me.

          • SoonToBeMrs

            Why would it be a mistake for someone to marry you??

            • It wouldn’t, I was being dramatic :-)

          • DoubleTrouble

            I am sure someone will marry you and it will not be a mistake

            • Tongue in cheek. I’d be the best thing to happen to someone who’d want to take that leap with me.

              • SoonToBeMrs

                Absolutely.

        • miss t-lee

          I’m a godmother to two children. I don’t remember this being in the cards.

        • DoubleTrouble

          It is this one in particular

    • miss t-lee

      Definitely baby showers. Unless I’m helping plan it, I’m probably not showing up to that either.

      • Mika

        They really just want the gift. I sometimes just send but sometimes I will go for the food. I mean, yall can judge me lol. I have three this year.

        • miss t-lee

          No judgement here. Them chicken wings, seven layer dip and sorbet punch be hitting.

  • miss t-lee

    I’m well aware that kids parties are birth control. That’s why my friends know better than to invite me to them, because I’m not coming. I’ll send a gift and call it square. Love youuuuu.

    • Michelle is my First Lady

      Amen. I’m ok with sending a gift card.

      • miss t-lee

        Gift card, gift, clothes, books, anything but sitting through 2 hours of birthday “fun”.

        • SoonToBeMrs

          Church.

        • Hard pass every time lol I haven’t missed any 1st birthdays but I’ve found ways to be “busy” for subsequent ones. I don’t care enough for children to want to be in spaces with large amounts of them

          • miss t-lee

            Only first birthdays I’ve made was my nephew, and my godchildren.
            Thankfully folks have stopped inviting me to their children’s parties.

            • When will I stop getting invites? I don’t even have kids but I know I’ve spent more money on getting them gifts than I should as a non-parent.

              • miss t-lee

                I think you’re still too young. If you make to 30 and still a “spinster” I think folks start taking “pity” on you.
                I relish that sh*t.

                • Damb. I still have some years left then.

                  • miss t-lee

                    Yuppp.

    • Mika

      In places like Chuck E. cheese? Nah I am good.

      • miss t-lee

        I’m really not showing up to any of them, but it’s a double no for Chuck E Cheese.

      • Jae Starz

        I refuse to do Dust E Cheese. Like don’t invite me because clearly you don’t care about my well-being.

      • When I see other folds crazy kids bouncing off walls, and climbing on precarious shid – I turn my head. I don’t wanna be a witness, nor do I want to get cussed out for backseat parenting.
        #mindyabizness

    • People only invite you knowing darn well, they really want you as a referee-chaperone-babysitter

      • miss t-lee

        That’s a no on all fronts…lol

      • preach

    • Pssh

      Yep. I don’t even go to birthday parties for my niece and nephew. I pop over the day before, give them a card with $25 in it, text them on their actual birthday, and that’s that. As soon as they turn 18, I’ll probably stop everything but the texting.

      • miss t-lee

        LMAO
        My late nephew and I were like peas and carrots, that was my road dog. He really didn’t do anything that I wasn’t apart of.

  • Alessandro De Medici
  • cyanic

    You didn’t have to shade Lil’ Kim. I have a fondness for three of her four studios albums.

    • miss t-lee

      Hard Core or naythin.

      • cyanic

        Hard Core had the best album cover. And the years leading up to The Notorious K.I.M. are my favorite Lil’ Kim era. The Naked Truth is slept on. La Bella Mafia is a straight up girl bye era.

        • miss t-lee

          I tried listen to the two past HC and I was not impressed. Didn’t even try with La Bella.

          • cyanic

            She attempted more commercial sounds for the follow ups. But Kim was too hard core in the beginning and everything usable for airplay was a remix.

            • miss t-lee

              True.

              • cyanic

                Crush on You!

                • miss t-lee

                  Yeah. Only one I remember on the radio.

      • AlwaysPi7

        Still spin that one from time to time.

        • miss t-lee

          It’s a classic. From start to finish.

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