On Kid Cudi And Trying To Save Your Own Life » VSB

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On Kid Cudi And Trying To Save Your Own Life

I’m a Kid Cudi fan. In fact, to know me and speak to me about music, you will likely hear me say, at some point during our musical relationship, that Kid Cudi is the best accessory artist in music. In fact, I contend that ALL songs are made better by the addition of Kid Cudi or Chris Brown. If you take a perfect song, like “A Change Gon’ Come” and let Cudi do his thing on, it would only become more perfecter. In fact, if you were to add Kid Cudi AND Chris Brown to your record, I believe the record will be guaranteed to be peak awesome.

I think this is backed up by facts. Every single song that Cudi has featured on has been elevated by his presence. There’s a reason that Kanye has kept him close musically even though he’s not been a G.O.O.D. Music artist for quite some time. His singing voice adds so much flavor. Consider “Father Stretch My Hands, Pt. 1”. The part of the song feaurting Cudders (the first minute) is the best part of the song. Same with “All Of The Lights” and his end of song runs. Or Jay-Z’s “Home” or, well you get the point. Every song that Kanye has that features Cudi is made better by his presence. He’s not the best rapper, but even his verses work well on his features.

His solo work is a different beast. I absolutely love Man On The Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager. But Cudi is one of those artists whose talent doesn’t exactly equal his ambition. Even as a big fan, I try to be honest with myself about this. His entire discography, including the WZRD project are perfect examples of this dichotomy. He has good ideas, but the execution sometimes falls short of seeing them through. If Cudi could max his ambition out, he might be considered one of the greatest artists of the decade. He’d basically be Kanye West.  And he’s trying so I’m waiting for him to pull it off. The thing is, I appreciate the hell out of his ideas. I want Cudi to win because when he succeeds with an idea, the shit is usually so riveting that I need more and I need other people to understand how awesome he is. MOTMII is the reason I believe in him. There are pieces of that album that are nothing short of pure brilliance. He is a man whose mind clearly gets pulled in various directions.

As of late, Cudi has been in the news for a series of tweets aimed at Drake and Kanye that alluded to a beef of sorts. Apparently it was all ironed out, as it should be. There is no benefit to Cudi and Kanye not being collaboratively in sync, at least. And Kanye isn’t crazy, he knows what value Cudi brings to the table. Not for nothing, I give Cudi all of the credit for Kanye’s transition into 808s and Heartbreaks. Basically, Cudi, to me, is responsible for the music that is responsible for hip-hop today.

Think about that.

Sadly, Cudi reported via a Facebook update that he is checking himself into rehab because he’s had suicidal urges and tendencies. I only say that it is sad because he is having them. I’m actually proud of him for realizing that he is a man who needs help and doing something about it before doing something to hurt himself and the people who love him. He is a father, a son, a friend, an artist who has made the world a better place with his musings. I think it’s great he’s taking those steps because rehab is nothing to be ashamed of. Not when it can make you a better person and more mentally sound and able to deal with yourself.

I can’t say enough about what it means to make sure that you are mentally sound. I feel like the stigma towards therapy is being lifted, slowly, as more and more people attempt to deal with the hardships of life and realizing that it’s not easy to do alone. I know that first hand. I went to therapy for a time because I was dealing with several issues in life and running into a wall every direction I turned. It was affecting me as a person and definitely affecting the relationship I was in, romantically. That relationship didn’t survive, but lessons I learned and discussions I had remain constants in my mind, even to this day. Also, I never felt ashamed about it. In a way, I was almost happy and maybe even proud to tell people that I was seeing a therapist. Feeling positively about it made me feel like it could help other people do the same.

I’m proud that Cudi took these steps to help him get to wherever he’s trying to be as a human. We tend to view artists as people who have it all even though so many exhibit signs of pain and suffering. Are you doing all the drugs because you have access or because you’re trying to mute some pain or struggle? Also, I can’t imagine being in the limelight the way many of our celebrities are. We talk about them and write them off as being above noticing our shade, but what if they are reading? What if they do care? What if the opinions of people they don’t know matter? It’s easy to say they shouldn’t, but consider that artists, especially musicians, tend to offer a bit of themselves via their music.

What happens when everybody thinks that part of you is trash? I’m not saying that people shouldn’t continue to be critical of art; as far as I’m concerned, if you put something out for public consumption, you are giving permission for it to be tarred and feathered. Every single article I’ve written, I’ve always prepared myself for the potential that it might be ill-received. Personally, I sometimes enjoy when folks come for me. But I’m also from the 50 Cent School of Beef: there is no beef too big or too small to entertain. I’m built for it. Everybody isn’t. Some people absolutely cannot take criticism or, worse, negativity sent their way. And too much negativity can tailspin you.

I’m rambling a bit as I don’t know what exactly led him to where he is now. He said he’s not at peace. I’ve been there, but I also don’t know what its like to not have peace and you have to read about yourself in true and false fashion on tabloids and websites all day. You can’t just exist if you want to. Sure, it’s the price of celebrity, but what a price to pay. And for somebody who has had a bit of a tumultuous career since hitting the scene, filled with tremendous highs and seemingly cavernous lows, I imagine that search for peace is similarly treacherous. He said depression and anxiety have ruled his life. I imagine that for many a person in that space, the only way to stop the pain is to not have to worry about it any longer.

I’m glad that Cudi decided to try to get help for himself and for his family but also for the selfish reason of not wanting an artist I love to rob the world of his art. I wasn’t even alive when Donny Hathaway committed suicide and I’m still upset about it. I’m still upset about Phyllis Hyman. And I fear the days of reading more articles about young artist’s lives ending too soon because of personal demons they weren’t able to overcome.

It is for that reason that I appreciate the constant messages I see on Facebook (from people like Alex Hardy) or in my own text messages (that I also send) telling people to check on other folks or sending a simple, “How are you doing? And I really want to know.” text. You really never know what people are going through and I HATE it when I find out too late that somebody’s life has come to an end. Maybe I’m not the one to help. That’s okay, but there has to be somebody. I have family members who dealt with depression and are on medication for it. I know people who have attempted suicide and failed, thankfully. Life is too precious; somebody has to be there.

For Kid Cudi, I hope he comes out better than he went in. For everybody else going through something that seems a heavier burden than you can handle:

How are you doing?

No, really. How are you doing?

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • kingpinenut

    It’s a hard life for black folk in the world these days.

    #manysoulsareinpain

    Thanks VSB fam for makin this a safe place just to “be”

  • Godzilla Jr.

    “I’m a Kid Cudi fan. In fact…”

    Full stop. *logs off*

    ?

    • panamajackson

      Don’t need no hateration holleration in this dancery.

      • Adrienne_in_MTown

        Yeah, this is bigger than liking his music. It’s well being and staying ALIVE.

      • Godzilla Jr.

        No hate, man. Just jokes…

        As a human being, I hope Cudi is alright. But as a human being with ears, if he stopped recording I couldn’t care less.

        And if he’s responsible for the sound of hip-hop today (especially Kanye’s descent into auto-tuned foolishness)? Now, I’m 38 hot..

  • Asiyah

    “Not for nothing, I give Cudi all of the credit for Kanye’s transition into 808s and Heartbreaks.”

    This is true. “Welcome to Heartbreak” couldn’t and wouldn’t work without him.

  • MsCee

    All of the Lights would not be as amazing as it is without Kid Cudi’s presence…Hands down my favorite part of that entire shabang. Ok, now to finish reading the rest of this post.

  • HoobaStankyLeg

    I wish him nothing but healing and prosperity. Love, joy and peace. It takes strength to know when a challenge is to great to fight alone. I am thankful that he recognized he needs help before he acted on his urges. I know what that loss feels like.

  • Sigma_Since 93

    “How are you doing?

    No, really. How are you doing?”

    Those statements are the hardest part of being a friend. Do you REALLY have the capacity or agency to deal with what might be said? If you have the capacity or agency, are you willing to use them? Too often we ask how are you and we expect to hear fine and we keep it moving like we are checking boxes to say yup I inquired about you so I’m a good friend.

    I’m glad Kid Cudi is getting help and has the means to do to.
    I hope this will be the catalyst for someone who needs help to get help
    I’m thankful that you, Champ, and Liz have always made this a safe place
    I’m thankful that the VSB community has continued to fight the trolls to keep this as a safe place

    • MsCee

      I agree with so much of this. Even in my own personal life I’ve been pretty down lately which is totally not like me and it shocks me that my closest friends, nor my family we’re the first ones to ask what was going on. It was my co-workers and my boss who immediately noticed a change and encouraged me to let it out. That says a lot about how we value and treat those we love. Really take the time to make sure your people are ok…like really ok.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        I pray that you find the peace of mind you need to get back to yourself

      • grownandsexy2

        Maybe you spend more time around your co-workers than you do your family/friends and is the reason why they noticed your mood. Hope you are on the mend.

    • miss t-lee

      Thing is…if you ask be ready to listen.
      And really listen….

      • Glo

        Yeah, actively listening is harder than a lot of people think it is.

        • We are predisposed to give solutions oblivious to how dismissive that can be

          • Leggy

            So true!! People are so quick to give solutions and sometimes it’s just like please just listen. Please.

          • Asiyah

            Yes! Very true. It’s something I’m trying to change about myself.

            • LMNOP

              At least online, I think you’re really good at this.

              • Asiyah

                Thank you! It’s easier for me to do it online or with people I met recently because there’s no expectation from others for me to provide solutions. At times, in the past, I felt that the other person didn’t think I was listening because all I was doing was saying “oh I see” or something like that and not offering a solution to the problem. Then I got the rep of being opinionated lol socializing really is a catch-22. I much prefer to listen and only offer a solution when asked or when I actually know what I’m talking about (which is rarely) lol. Online and with new people, I don’t feel that compulsion to offer solutions.

            • Yaya

              Same here! I’m a fixer/ solutions person at heart, but sometimes you have to take a step back and just be there as a shoulder to cry on.

          • Jennifer

            Had to check myself last night. Friend shared a big problem. I had offered a solution. Told me later that he didn’t want people to give solutions or tell him how they could relate. Had to ask him point blank, “What would have served you in that moment so I know to do it the next time?” He just wanted someone to really listen.

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          • Annalise Keating

            As someone who sometimes give solutions, I would like to know how to know when to just listen vs giving solutions. What happens when you actively listen and hear someone planning or actively pursuing self destructive paths?

            Or what happens when you have actively listened to someone complain about the same problem that is actively destructive to the person multiple times: e.g an abusive spouse, abusing illicit drugs, e.t.c is there some point (after witnessing the destruction multiple times) where giving solutions is a good thing?

            Aren’t there times when giving solutions is necessary and not just being dismissive but genuinely trying to be helpful?

            • L8Comer

              Maybe only offer solutions if the person asks? I have to think about this a bit, cuz I understand watching someone destroy themselves is difficult. Maybe a mix? 80% listening and 20% solutions? I think most people know the concrete solution… stop using drugs, leave your abusive relationship… so it’s not a matter of not knowing what to do, its working through your feelings and understanding why you don’t want to do what you should do

              • Annalise Keating

                Thanks. I really appreciate the input. Just one more question: how do you know if the person knows the solution. Especially if they don’t say it.

                Also I have been in situations when someone asked for a solution and when I gave them some (in a very empathetic pc manner), they lashed out because it wasn’t what they wanted to hear.

                • L8Comer

                  Oh man, idk. I may def no expert. I guess I would just ask if they have thought or need solutions or to just be listened to.

                  As for the second part, that’s tough. Sometimes I think deep down some people don’t want to get better (unconsciously) cuz it would rock the narrative they’ve created and their world view. But they’re probably conflicted on that cuz if they were cool staying where they are then they wouldn’t be in pain. I don’t think you should tell someone that maybe they unconsciously don’t want to change.

                  At the end of the day it’s not up to you to help them and maybe you can’t. You can have so many people who love and care for you and want the best for you, but if you don’t want the best or if you’re idea of what’s best is warped it doesn’t help too much. I’m not equipped to handle this stuff with friends but I do try and I constantly encourage them to get professional help. Cuz I’m the blind.

                  I have a friend who has been talking about getting help for years and she really needs it. I tell her she needs to make it a priority, that nothing works if her mind doesn’t work, that it won’t get better on its own with time and likely wont stay the same either, I found a good therapist for her that takes her insurance, but she won’t make an appointment. I’m not frustrated tho, just sad and a little worried. I don’t push it but I’m sure she knows she can talk to me and I’ll be there for her, w/o judgment, in her darkest moments. I listen to her when she needs relief. I think that’s enough. I hope it is.

                • L8Comer

                  Maybe I should not your job to save her. We can all use help

                • grownandsexy2

                  That happened to me awhile back. Friend complained about a guy she allowed in her life. The guy was a psycho. In fact she was the one who initially said he was a psycho. He was a controlling, stalker type psycho. He caused her to lose her job, her car and apartment. I offered a solution in the form of she needed to distance herself because he was dangerous, She got angry, and we were arguing for what seems like forever through e-mails. She accused me of trying to mother her. I told her I have a daugher and am not looking for another. Long story short she stopped speaking for a couple of years.

                  I bumped into her awhile back and she literally jumped in my arms, hugging me. I was shocked. She introduced me to her daughter who was about 4. More time passed than I was aware. Psycho stayed long enough to impregnate her and bounce. We talked about what happened, she shared, she just didn’t want to hear what I had to say about him even though she felt the same way and mentioned it first.

                  She’s still not working, is on the bus and living from family member to family member, trying to avoid going in a shelter. Just sad on so many levels.

                • LMNOP

                  I’ve had a few jobs where they train you on active listening and basically you just reflect back to them what you hear and how they seem to be feeling for them to either correct or clarify and keeping talking about.

            • I usually ask them questions. What would be helpful right now? What do you want to do about this.

              I’m one to ask point blank, ‘you’ve said you want to do x but haven’t done it…what is getting in the way? What do you want to do about that?’ Listen to the answers. Too often I want to tell them all my insights about why they aren’t doing what they need to be doing. Good friends and family I will say…I notice x thing, could that also be a factor? If not, why not and if yes why? Otherwise I just give em space to puzzle it out themselves.

              • Asiyah

                “I’m one to ask point blank, ‘you’ve said you want to do x but haven’t
                done it…what is getting in the way? What do you want to do about
                that?'”

                I appreciate questions like this when they’re asked in a tone that lets me know you’re not badgering me or demanding answers. I find that when people ask me in a nonthreatening way I can come up with my own solutions/conclusions. I much prefer that route than the “let me tell you what you should do” one.

            • Careful she bites

              just listening is hard in the beginning. but i tend to agree with @toadarkgrl:disqus. i usually ask people questions that will, hopefully, lead them to their own solutions. for example, if you suggest someone leave their abusive husband/bf/gf/wife and they don’t, you’re the bad guy that thinks negatively of their partner. with that being said, you don’t have to agree with the decisions they make for their lives.

            • OG Mermaid

              You have to remember that is not your issue to fix; I’m currently working on my masters in clinical mental health therapy, and you’ll see a lot of people coming to therapy looking for advice, however a part of therapy is remembering not to try to play fix, however there is solution focused therapy which mostly focus on setting ideal, realistic goals. It’s unrealistic for someone whose been doing drugs their whole life to just quit and not have relapses, relapse are apart of the cycle of addiction. Listening also involves going deeper than what the person is saying and also finding the feeling behind what was said.

            • grownandsexy2

              I can generally tell by the tone of a friend’s voice if they just want a listening ear or a listening ear and then a solution. With one friend, it’s as if she is asking me “what should I do?” With some, I offer a I can relate because they seem to want to know that they aren’t the only one, that someone else is/has gone thru what they’re going thru. I guess it works because the same folks always call me when there is a problem or something they’re trying to work thru. One friend just said lately, “You don’t judge, you’re a good friend.”

              My life is relatively stress free, but there’s no guarantee it will stay that way. I can generally “work it out” on my own. But I’ve often wondered what would happen if I needed someone to listen.

            • MsSula

              Be supportive as in show some real empathy. Not just sympathy but getting to the level of pain the person is experiencing and fully support them in that moment.

              Sometimes it will mean helping them find solutions, sometimes it will be sharing a similar situation you have been in, sometimes it will just be saying “I see you, and I love you”. Sometimes it will just be doing other shenanigans with the person to get their minds off of the situation. If someone shares something painful or big or close to their hearts, it means you are close. And you should know them enough to adapt to the need.

              And sometimes you won’t be able to know what to do. And that too is okay to say.

        • miss t-lee

          True.

        • LMNOP

          I think thats because sometimes you feel like you’re not doing enough, but sometimes just listening nonjudgementally and giving a sh it is exactly what someone needs.

        • Mary Burrell

          Listening is an art that I need to work on.

        • Yaya

          So true! I was in this work training seminar recently and they spoke about the levels of listening:

          1. Listening to understand (being fully present and hearing beyond words)

          2. Listening to see “how it applies to me”

          3. Listening to judge or evaluate (agree/ disagree)

          4. Listening to tell my story

          5. Nonlistening (not being there)

          I’ve been trying to listen to understand and actively engage more, and trying to be aware of falling into the other levels (it’s hard, but definitely worth it).

          I definitely think more people need to evaluate and practice their listening skills.

          • Chinasa

            “4. Listening to tell my story”
            Question- Does this refer to ppl who listen to you just to tell their own (personal) stories?

            • Yaya

              Yes, exactly!

      • L8Comer

        Yep, don’t ask if you’re not ready. It just makes people feel worse. Like you’re a burden

        • miss t-lee

          Indeed.

      • True.
        People ask”how you doin?” or “how’s it goin?” mostly as a reflex, right after, “hey, what’s up !”
        I had a relative that started “cutting ” right after a family member passed. No one in his immediate family knew until he started righting about it and posting it. Thank God though, he got past it (and it took a minute).
        You tend to be comfy and nonchalant with “it could never happen here”, until it does.

        • miss t-lee

          That’s true. I think a lot of folks miss the signs because you’re just going about your day to day.

          • LMNOP

            That and most people are actively trying to cover this kind of stuff up and seem like they’re okay.

            • miss t-lee

              All facts.

        • grownandsexy2

          We had maybe 7 co-workers at work who could have benefited from some type of therapy. One co-worker was “cutting” her wrist at work and the other was stabbing her food aggressively with a fork at lunch. Just not using the fork like regular folks and no one thought it was strange expect me. We used to joke that never had we worked anyplace where there were so many people who seemed to be in need of help. We were actually all planning escape routes if anything jumped off.

  • Brandon Allen

    If you’ve been a fan a Cudi, especially a fan of MOTM2 than this rehab thing is probably the best thing for him. The snorting on “These Worries” always made me concerned.

  • Avery

    The Kid Cudi news hit me pretty hard when I read his Facebook status this morning. I recently started going to therapy for depression & suicidal thoughts myself. I’ve been feeling lowkey “weak” about having to seek help, but I’m encouraged by artists like Cudi & Kid Fury that openly discusses their mental illness. Hopefully more, esp. Black men, will seek the help if & when they need it.

    • MsCee

      You’re not weak…I went last year (for lack of a better term) “daddy issues” and hatred towards men and it seriously helped my life. I was really suffering and was tired of living like that.

      • Adrienne_in_MTown

        I’ve thinking about going for this reason. I don’t hate men (yet lol) but I definitely have issues and I can’t express them to the ppl I know for some reason.

        • MsCee

          It was REALLY holding me back from developing intimate trusting relationships with men…and I desire to be married (one day) so I figured it was time to get some help moving past those things which were keeping me in bondage.

          • Adrienne_in_MTown

            I’m glad you shared this and I’m glad you went. I take it as the little push I need to just do it and not be scared.

            • MsCee

              Go for it girl! We don’t have to live in pain. We deserve to be free.

        • LMNOP

          It depends on what the reason for your not quite hating men is on whether this would be a good option for you, but I have found rape crisis and DV counselors a lot more helpful with this kind of stuff than mental health professionals.

      • LMNOP

        I am about to do this literally this evening I have my first appointment. Not my first run in with the mental health system, but I’m still nervous.

        • MsCee

          Sending love and support from Texas to wherever you are. Genuinely

          • LMNOP

            Thank you!

        • Asiyah

          You’ll be ok dear xoxo

        • grownandsexy2

          Just take a deep breath. *Hugs*

      • Avery

        I admire your strength. Thank you for sharing!

    • Careful she bites

      i have no idea what issues have lead you to therapy but please know, whatever it is/they are, seeking help is the ultimate sign of strength. the difficulties associated with recognizing something is not quite as it should be within your self should not be downplayed, speaking as someone who’s been on both sides of the therapy chair. the narratives of people stepping outside their comfort zone to address their mental health needs to be shared, discussed to help break the stigma associated with it. i don’t know you, but i’m glad you asked for help.

      • Avery

        Thank you so much. I’m slowly coming around to the idea that asking for help is in no way a sign of weakness.

    • Asiyah

      Avery, my heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry you’re suffering.

      • Avery

        Thank you for the kind words. It’s getting better with therapy and prayer.

    • Maestro G

      Brother, seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Never believe any differently. Mental illness is real, and many struggle with it, in silence and without help or hope. But there is hope, and light. Peace, strength and blessings to you as you journey through.

      • Avery

        Thank you! I’m slowly coming around to realizing I’m not a weak person for seeking help. Constant internal battle.

    • LoveTrenia

      I spent 10 years in therapy, and I needed every single year, and every single session. Hopefully you won’t need as much time as I did, but it was a life saver.

      • Avery

        I’ll probably be there more than 10 once I find a good one. Lol. I’m glad taking the steps worked out in your favor!

    • MsSula

      I was telling a friend that it took 10-15 years of extreme personal self-awareness, lots of trials and errors, lots of pain and run-ins with dead ends for me to unpack a lot of things that happened in my life. Had I sought help with a therapist, it would have certainly taken less time, less pain for me and loved ones, and just generally a faster path to recovery.

      So please know that you are STRONG for seeking help. It will get you faster to a path of recovery.

  • MoBell

    I lost my little brother to suicide and I believe what killed him was the silence. He was the most loveable, funny person you could have ever met. We had no idea about the pain he was holding in or maybe there were signs and we just missed it. Maybe we focused too much on the fun and loveable and missed the pain he was projecting. We all still battle these questions daily of what did we miss, what could we have done. We just wish we knew the level of his pain. But I’m so proud of Kid Cudi and I truly hope this helps him and someone else out there, I really do.

    • miss t-lee

      *hugs*

      • MoBell

        Thank you, I appreciate that.

        • miss t-lee

          Anytime.

    • MsCee

      BIG, Southern Grandma with an apron that smells of fried chicken and greens with fatback HUGSSSSSS

    • Question

      First hugs to you, because although it wasn’t an immediate family member, I’ve been there and can fully relate. :)

      I lost my uncle to suicide, and we experienced the same thing. Its been over ~15 years but I remember how shocked our family was because he was the fun loving, musician who could always make you smile. As a kid, time with my uncle always meant in my mind food and music – cuz I knew he would get hungry every 45 minutes and he was a musician so there was ALWAYS music. Until people REALLY started talking and listening and thinking back to times with him, realizing that the signs were all there, just folks were too caught up in their own lives to reach out. Plus, once you really reach out and listen THEN what do you do?!

      It takes a lot for a person to say “I’m not right and I can’t fix this on my own…but I want to fix this”. Especially for men. Especially for Black men. Especially for a Black man in the “rap game”, in 2016. Can you imagine what the response would be to Him saying I’m not ok – more weed, more women and a dumb spending spree (even tho’ no one else in the posse has any money) and you’ll be alright.

      I too am proud of Cudi.

      • MoBell

        Yeah my brother was reckless when it came to driving, he was in 9 accidents. Thinking back on it, maybe that was his way of him trying to take himself out and we just thought he just loved speeding and was simply being reckless. Looking back that is the only clear cut sign I could see. Thank goodness he never hurt anyone. He eventually found a quicker way to do. It’s been 4 years, and even though I don’t think about it everyday, I still think about it often because this grief is for life. I would hate for anyone else to experience this and the more we talk about it, the less stigma there will be to ask for help. Thanks for the hug, right back at ya!

    • Asiyah

      MoBell, I’m sorry for your loss. I wish I could do or say more to take away the pain of having lost your loved one.

      • MoBell

        Thank you appreciate it.

    • LMNOP

      I’m so sorry.

    • Annalise Keating

      I am so sorry for you loss.

      • MoBell

        Thank you appreciate that.

    • grownandsexy2

      So sad. “hugs* to you and your family.

  • miss t-lee

    I read about Cudi last night via twitter. His letter broke my heart. Mostly because I understand exactly where he’s coming from. Him apologizing over and over again for how he feels hit me most. That’s the terrible part. Knowing how you feel and feeling like you have to apologize for it, because you know that’s not really you. Then wanting to do better, but can’t, and then the cycle starts over.
    “Internal Bleeding” and “Pursuit of Happiness” are songs of his that cut like a knife. If you’ve been there, you just know.
    Peace and blessings to him and anyone else that might be struggling. You are worth it. Fight for you.

    • Yes that part hurt me too. I’ve been going through it myself recently…and despite my pain, all I can think of is how uncomfortable MY pain makes the people I care about feel. So I keep apologizing, and assuring them “it’s not you” but…in the back of my mind, I’m lowkey resentful that I even have to do that. Life with humans won’t always be happy. Some of us are way LESS happy than others.

      • miss t-lee

        Definitely understand.
        Hang in chica.

      • Janelle S

        I hear you. When you struggle to take care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of others?

        • kingpinenut

          If you don’t care of yourself you won’t be here. Maintaining that balance is crucial.

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