Featured, Race & Politics

Kellyanne Conway Is White As Fuck

Of course, out-of-season Ann Taylor mock turtleneck with sentience Kellyanne Conway’s genetic phenotype is compromised of what we’ve come to define as Whiteness. This is evident, obvious, and conspicuous. She is demonstratively — and, in this picture while surrounded by a couple dozen HBCU administrators, strikingly — White. It’s the type of Whiteness that would surprise and distract you if you weren’t anticipating it. If it were able to be ordered from a restaurant menu, when receiving it you’d say “I know the menu said White. But damn. I didn’t think they’d be so literal.

And while America (and the world) has attached a status to this physical composition, there is no inherent value to it. Her tangible and inflexible Whiteness isn’t right or wrong. It just is, the same way a person might be tall or left-handed.

Unfortunately, Kellyanne Conway’s literal Whiteness is not the Whitest thing about her. She is the peak spiritual, psychological, and existential embodiment of capital letter Whiteness. The Whiteness that subjugates and appropriates. The Whiteness that’s performatively and conveniently oblivious and sneakily complicit. The Whiteness that violently enacts suffocating laws while remaining shamelessly immoral. The Whiteness that denies, obfuscates, lies, oppresses, plunders, snatches, shames, feigns, gaslights, constricts, endangers, terrifies, perplexes, debauches, and corrupts. The Whiteness we’re warned about by grandparents and encyclopedias and perpetually weary of. She is both transparently capital letter White and so capital letter White that she’s practically transparent. You see her and you see privilege. You see bias. You see nervously clutched purses in seven-second-long elevator rides and hysterical emails to human resources. You see theft. And mostly you see a void — an endless, yawning, and funereal chasm — filled only by the status she believes her physical and metaphysical Whiteness provides.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • I bet the bottom of her feet are dirty.

    • Everytime I see her now I think about Desus saying her and Trump go to Sephora together. *shudders*

    • Wyldeflower

      Right…..and has a fishy smell.

    • miss t-lee

      You know they are.

    • Courtney Wheeler

      Kellyanne Conway looks like she smells of stale coffee and Coco Chanel.

      • I hate the formula for that scent. Also Chanel No. 5 smells like mothballs and I don’t get why it’s so “timeless”

        • Courtney Wheeler

          OMG me too…Chanel No. 5 doesn’t appeal to me at all. Never saw the big deal about it…too heavy.

          • A woman at the counter once told me it’s a scent I’ll appreciate as I age. She couldn’t be further from the truth with that one.

            • Courtney Wheeler

              I kinda like clean scents and oddly I like Juicy Couture fragrance but im also not 23 so im trying to find more of an adult scent haha

              • Lmao. I like floral scents myself. I do need you to stay away from Juicy Couture lol go to Sephora and sample some things. They’ll make you up to three little sample bottles.

              • MsSula

                Check out the Comptoir Sud Pacifique scents, they do have adult florals and fruity scents. But with sophistication. Lol.

                • Courtney Wheeler

                  haha Thank you!

              • miss t-lee

                Try the Clean line. I think you’ll dig it.

                • Courtney Wheeler

                  Thanks!… Clean looks like this totally up my ally

                  • miss t-lee

                    Enjoy! :)

              • Mochasister

                I like clean scents as well. Some of my favorites are Classic by Banana Republic, Heavenly by Victoria’s Secrets, and a scent by Issey Miyake whose name escapes me at the moment.

              • GenevaGirl

                Jo Malone’s scents are pretty clean smelling.

          • pls

            The heaviness is the appeal to me. i like strong musky scents, and both fragrances smell great on me and my mother. ya’ll trippin!

          • La Bandita

            I like it, but use just a drop on my wrist. A tiny, tiny, tiny drop.

        • KMN

          That’s my mom’s FAVORITE and I can’t stand it…it smells as old as Coco Chanel is…but I love my mommy so….yeah

          • Please buy your mom some Marc Jacobs ‘Decadence’. It comes in a cute emerald green faux purse!

            • KMN

              Thank you…because she be having me gagging like honey booboo girl lolol bless my momma’s heart

              • Oh you’re welcome! I’m really into perfumes so I’m always on the hunt for new scents.

                • KMN

                  My fav right now is Cashmere Mist…that is my LOVE right now…
                  There was this other one I used to wear and forgot the name of it but they stopped making it :( I miss that so much ugh…I still have the bottle JUST IN CASE lolol

                  • Discontinuing great scents irks me so. I’ve never tried Cashmere Mist before. What is the profile on that? Green? Spicy? Floral?

                    • KMN

                      I’m not good at scents but I know what I like lmao so i’ll give this a try. It’s very warm…not too spicy though…it literally smells like a sweater to me LMAO if that makes any sense (I know it doesn’t but I’m a tomboy so yeah lmao)

                    • Lol it probably has some earthy notes. Maybe vanilla. I’m going to go look at the scent profile and return.

                    • KMN

                      lmao thank you…I’m ready to see what you find out

                  • miss t-lee

                    Cashmere Mist is clutch.

                    • KMN

                      I adore that scent so much…it works with me very well…

                    • miss t-lee

                      I had a bottle back in the day, I need to re-up.

                    • KMN

                      You better get your life girl lolol

                    • miss t-lee

                      I’ve got too many bottles now. I have a problem…lol

                  • Janelle Doe

                    That’s my fav of all time

                  • Shanna

                    l love it, but it doesn’t smell “right” on me. :-(

                • KayMac

                  I just got Marc Jacobs Daisy…LOOOOVE!!!!

                  • Tam

                    Me too..

                  • miss t-lee

                    I have Decadence. It’s soooo lovely.

                  • Danita Martin

                    my son says that smells like i’m old when i wear it, and im only 40 which is old to him.

                  • Another Man’s Rhubarb

                    I love Daisy, but the original Marc Jacobs is my all time favorite scent. It’s like a bouquet of fresh gardenias– but not super heavy. I always feel so sophisticated yet girly when I wear it!!

                    • KayMac

                      Hmmmm….I’ll look into that!!

                    • Another Man’s Rhubarb

                      It’s kind of hard to find in stores, so I just started buying it on Amazon. Enjoy! :)

                    • Mary Burrell

                      I love the original Marc Jacobs and Daisy

                • Mochasister

                  Me too. I adore perfume. I don’t feel like I’ve finished dressing until I put some perfume on. That and a watch. Lately I have to wear a watch with my outfits.

              • Tam
                • KMN

                  Oooh thank you yall hooking me up lmao t

            • KayMac

              What’s up with this fragrance? Going by the description, is seems like it smells amazing!

              • miss t-lee

                It is. I just bought some a few months ago, and it’s the favorite in my rotation.

              • It’s awesome! I got it for my mom this past Christmas and she adores it. I’d use it sparingly because it has great sillage.

          • laura

            My granny wore it. I have a love/hate relationship with no. 5. Sometimes I’ll take a wiff, just because I miss her.but never wearing it!

        • KayMac

          Personal opinion: Chanel No. 5 is about as bad as White Diamonds…

          • Tam

            Hate hate hate White Diamonds.

            • Mary Burrell

              Liz Taylor and her crew came up with that disgusting concoction.

          • miss t-lee

            Definitely running a neck and neck race.

          • MsSula

            I do NOT get White Diamonds. Who decided this was a good scent?

            • miss t-lee

              Liz Taylor’s marketing people.

              • cdj

                I used to like Liz Taylor Realities. We got a sample in the mail when I was in high school. I rationed it out until it was gone.

                • miss t-lee

                  I never smelled that one.

                  • cdj

                    According to my mom, you can smell it a mile away. She used to get so mad when I put it on. I think I’m gonna stop by Macy’s and see if they still sell it, just to annoy her.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Hahahah. Was it “loud” as my grandmother says?

                    • cdj

                      Yes!!!

                    • miss t-lee

                      Hahahah.
                      I remember when I was about 12. I’d gotten a Guess perfume gift set for my birthday. I proceeded to wash in the shower gel, put on the lotion, and then spray myself down with the perfume.
                      First thing she told me was, “baby, oh no–you’re too loud.”
                      LMAO

                    • cdj

                      Lol!!! I had to have a talk with my son: Cologne is only to be smelled by you and those VERY close to you. And don’t put it on your clothes!

                    • miss t-lee

                      Yup!
                      I remember having that same convo with my nephew too…lol

                    • Mochasister

                      Lawd, Jesus. Save us from teenage boys who just discovered girls, their special purpose, and cologne!

                    • BrothasKeeper

                      Special purpose ?????

                    • Mochasister

                      Just keeping up the Big Mama theme in my comments!

                    • BrothasKeeper

                      Yeah. When I entered adolescence, I thought that cleanliness entailed bathing in Drakkar without bathing in actual soap and water.

                    • cdj

                      Sad to say, 12 year old me would’ve had a crush on you. I thought that cologne was peak sexiness. My actual middle school crush used to douse himself in it. I thought he was sophisticated.

                    • BrothasKeeper

                      LoL! And at 12 years old, I would’ve been like the dog that actually caught the car but didn’t know what the heII else to do after that. I was a mess. A poorly-bathed, semi-sophisticated, awkward mess, but as a plus, my breath was always fresh because I chewed gum constantly.

                    • cdj

                      Middle school is such an awkward time. I had braces, coke bottle glasses, and rayon hammer pants in various patterns. I also always had a crooked part in the back of my head, because I only fixed the hair I could see in the mirror.

                • Shanna

                  Realities was by Liz Claborne

                  • cdj

                    Sure was! Thanks!

              • Ms George Zip
                • miss t-lee

                  LOL!

            • KayMac

              I’ve never been able to figure this one out, but my Granny sure kept a bottle at all times. Must be a requirement to be a mother of the church..lol

              • MsSula

                My mama’s oldest sister is a staunch fan of White Diamonds. I do not get it. It smells like hospice happy hour. *shudders*

                • Cleojonz

                  It’s awful. There is an older nurse consultant here that wears it – it’s only women of a certain age that wear that sh*t. Her body chemistry and it don’t get along though. I swear she smells like death and it sets my allergies off every time.

                • Hospice happy hour. Dead.

                  • Khalil Jannah

                    You wrong for that lol

                • Turned on cookies, LOGED IN, upvoted ya. Weeeeell done. [Slow clap.gif]

              • MsSula

                That’s a very good guess. Because my aunty of White Diamonds absolute love is definitely a mother of the church.

            • Shanna

              I “got it” back the 80s, now I can’t even stomach the scent.

            • LuLu ORange

              Elizabeth Taylor *insert side-eye*

            • Ms George Zip

              But Diamonds and Rubies is kinda nice, though. (Apparently I am trash)

        • miss t-lee

          I never like Chanel No 5
          Then again, I don’t like many of these classic scents.

          • MsSula

            By classic, I think they just mean “old”. Scents like fashion and music evolve with people’s tastes.

            Same boat with that Samsara (Guerlain) mess . Jesus have mercy.

            • miss t-lee

              OMG that Guerlain is terrible! :(
              I think you’re right because those scents most certainly smell old.

              I just wear whatever works best with my chemistry and ride out. Ain’t failed me yet. Most trendy stuff I can’t wear, I stop trying years ago.

        • Mary Burrell

          It was elderly white women who invented that stuff. That’s old white lady scent.

        • Rewind4ThatBehind

          Because white women smelling basic is timeless.

        • Mochasister

          I thought it was just me. I hate Chanel No. 5 as well. I prefer Chanel Mademoiselle.

        • SororSalsa

          I wear Chanel No. 5 Eau Premiere, and I get a ton of compliments. No one has ever accused me of smelling like a mothball…

      • Mary Burrell

        Oh Lord, that’s pretty ugly and nauseating and she does look nasty and stinky.

      • AProst

        She looks like a corpse. Same with Bannon, Stephen Miller….wtf.

      • Cortlandt Franklin

        Lmao

    • HouseOfBonnets

      you know that cracked caked up dirt……that’s how it looks.

      • Omg I’m going to lunch soon please stop. Thank you.

        • HouseOfBonnets

          I’m sorry…….I’ll quick pay 10 for your troubles friend.

          • Ayeeeee!!

            • HouseOfBonnets

              Because I never want to be the spoiler of appetite lol

    • King Beauregard
    • Brown Rose

      Man that sh*t used to bother me a lot when I see that in TV and movies. I’m like how in the h*ll can your feet be so dirty walking around a house or movie set.

    • Mary Burrell

      Ugly cackling

    • “M”

      That’s why she has them tucked under.

      #Semiotics101

    • TheUnsungStoryteller

      Either that or she’s messing up the couch with her heels on.

    • ThatChickCool

      This is perfect and hilarious. Black women are unmatched, haha.

    • Mochasister

      You know they are. And she probably smell like outside.

    • Another Man’s Rhubarb
    • Another Man’s Rhubarb
  • In all seriousness though, we (HBCUs) better see some checks after all these weak photo ops are finished.

    There needs to be more transparency here.

    • Tam
      • Negro Libre

        I’ll never get property destruction, especially in colleges: just stick flyers around like everyone else does.

        But yeah, I’m surprised HBCUs came out like that, they better be getting serious money, way more than black churches got with Bush and the faith-based initiative.

        • Tam

          I seriously doubt that they will get anything.

    • josh gibson

      How about we start a campaign to fund our schools so we don’t have to see HBCU administrators in photo ops like this. Maybe we could call it something like I got five on it. Five dollars a week from all of us to an HBCU and in a few years pictures like this would be a thing of the past. And I know we don’t all go to HBCUs, but how about doing so in loving memory of the brave many who were strong enough, sweet enough, good enough to stand up and say we had enough during that little rebellion we choose to call a movement that brought down Jim Crow and made it possible for us to choose where we want to go to school.

      • Many HBCU Alum don’t donate as it is though. There is a deep distrust of how many is being handled/lost once it makes it to these schools.

        I believe it is definitely up to us to donate but schools need to be held accountable for their poor business practices with these accounting books.

        • josh gibson

          I agree about accountability. That’s why we need to repopulate the Boards of Trustees at our fine institutions with younger, more forward thinking individuals. But for me at least part of taking away the power white people hold over our lives is to become economically self reliant. Or put another way invest black-sell mainstream. I’ve seen people come into our communities all my life and take the money home. Let’s at least think about investing in what is ours and go get money from somebody else’s spot and bring it back to ours.

          Or put another way, I believe in diversity of institutions more than diversity within institutions. Because diversity within institutions is too often like a snow capped mountain. At the bottom you can find all kinds of colors- blacks, browns, yellows and reds, but the higher up the mountain you climb the whiter it gets. I want my own rock. And since I have worked on three black and one brown rock, I know it can be done. And we have to at least try. And my grandmother would have said go get my switch cause you didn’t put your feet on her furniture and live to tell about it.

  • Courtney Wheeler

    As I stare at that picture I can hear my mother’s voice in the background yelling at Kellyanne Conway telling her to get her dirty feet off her couch and she hopes to god she has socks on.

    • Wyldeflower

      Mine would say WTH? My grandmother would have stayed silent, calmly walked over, slapped a stinging hand to those open knees THEN pulled me to my feet by my ear.

      • KayMac

        My late Granny would have yelled, “Getcho feet off my damn couch!!” I feel like my Granny is seeing this picture from up above and is shaking her head and mumbling under her breath that she would beat that chile’s ass…lol

    • miss t-lee

      Girl, also!

    • King Beauregard
      • Courtney Wheeler

        Yup!

  • Wyldeflower

    I look at her and thank God. Period. Point blank. Nuff said.

  • Other_guy13

    I really love how my man with the silver tie look like he really doesn’t want to be there. I hear it didn’t go the way they thought it would. They on;y got about 10 min of the Presidents time and they weren’t able to get their issues heard. They were only there for the Photo op. Big swing and miss for the Orange man. Paris just lost ALL street cred he had left.

    • FeeFee

      “Big swing and miss for the Orange man.”–Wrong! This is a hit out of the park for the Orange man. He nailed this photo op perfectly. It’s the HBCU’s president who gets the big swing and miss for even thinking for one second this meeting would yield more than a photo op. They’re are the losers here.

      I just keep thinking the fall when if it finally comes, has to be epic in order to make sense of the things we’re experiencing right now. The universe has to make sense of all of this.

      • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

        Yeah Dolt45 is coming up smelling like roses.

    • HouseOfBonnets
  • King Beauregard

    Trump standing in the middle there looks especially funny.

    Orange is the new white, apparently.

  • Skegeeaces

    Can someone direct her to a stylist? And some female Rogaine? Finishing school? SOMETHING? Hammercy.

    • miss t-lee

      Finishing school, for real!
      And…she needs a stylist in the worst way.

      • Other_guy13

        She didn’t finish?

        • miss t-lee

          We went over your head again, didn’t we?

          • Other_guy13

            Yep

            • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

              You are joking right? Finishing school = training to learn how to conduct yourself like a lady.

              • That’s what I assumed it was

              • miss t-lee

                I sent him a link…lol

              • Other_guy13

                Let me live

            • miss t-lee

              Pobrecito.

        • miss t-lee
        • Hiding My ?hide yours 2

          Dead. Etiquette.

          • Other_guy13

            Oh well

    • Other_guy13

      “And some female Rogaine”….why you gotta make me laugh so hard lol

    • KayMac

      Please. And. Thank. You!!!

    • Mochasister

      She need a cheeseburger too. That might be why her hair is so thin. Not enough nutrients.

  • miss t-lee

    I saw this picture and I could hear my mother’s voice, that I haven’t heard in dayum near 30 years.
    She would’ve had a fit…lol

    • Rewind4ThatBehind

      Especially because you know she didn’t wash her feet.

      Probably dirty and full of spots like her resume.

      One love to mom dukes though.

      • miss t-lee

        Feet on the couch? Like…no home training whatsoever.

        • LoveTrenia

          Right? That was my thought. Just triflin’.

        • JennyJazzhands

          It’s like sitting your butt on the kitchen counter. I don’t understand or comprehend this action. I put food there.

    • Brown Rose

      Even though my mom had plastic on the couches–keep your dirty feet on the floor.

      • miss t-lee

        At all times.

        • Brown Rose

          Yup.

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    My guess was that DeVos on HBCU would have gotten the article treatment today. Would have lost that bet

    • Other_guy13

      There’s still time

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        Let’s hope so, the misogyny angle will get old, and it won’t be useful.

    • Tam
      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        Tough position to be in, if you think inside of the box.

        Says no more

      • The baby Bison are so disrespectful lol they really hate Dr. Frederick for all this but they fail to understand how running a University works so I’ll give the children a pass.

        • Epsilonicus

          I was thinking the same thing too

          • They’ve been putting up all this graffiti around campus about how Dr. Frederick hates black people and how he’s a c o o n. It’s embarrassing that this is how they show their displeasure but I can’t fault them for trying to voice their opinions. Although they are wrong opinions https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6be41edc90dfe9006f59dd89748bc294879e75bbad713bf5dfa4bee63b30aff3.gif

            • PhlyyPhree

              As my friend calls them, New Ni ggas.
              I understand the dislike, but I think they’re going about this entirely the wrong way. They’ve grown up in the social media culture and they’re doing it for the RTs and the likes and not realizing that in effect, they’re not making any real changes and any change that results from this is NOT going to be in their favor.

              • I agree 100%

                I woke speak too much on in-house business but just know that there’s a storm a brewing over there.

      • Rewind4ThatBehind

        Wow. That’s insulting on so many levels

        • PhlyyPhree

          SO MANY

      • miss t-lee

        WOW.

  • DCFem

    This is the best thing I’ve read about that photo. I didn’t think anyone could be whiter than Sarah Palin until Conway showed up.

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