Just Perish.

I haven’t done a list in a while.  So I’m doing one.

One thing you all might not know about me is just how doggone sexxy I am.  And yes, I spelled that right.  You spell it wrong.  How do I know this?  Because I’m sexxy.  It’s law.  I can’t make this up.

Well because I love you all so much, I want to make sure that you all stay as sexxy as possible.  I mean how do you expect to catch and keep a mate if you aren’t sexxy?

That’s a good question, Panama.

I know.

Well, as a sign of good faith, I shall apprise you all of ways that you just may lose your sexxy if you aren’t careful.  So then…be careful.

PANAMA PRESENTS JUST STOP IT, DON’T DO IT AND BE SEXXY

1. Have the most Gawdawful walk on Earth

This is for the ladies. Some women have very sexxy walks. Some women just walk. Which is fine.  But if you walk towards me looking like King Kong just got finished putting a hurting on your arse (and we both know King Kong doesn’t exist), I will find you to be in contempt of sexxy.

Guilty.

2. Be Colorblind

You know what is really unsexxy? People who do juuuuuust a little bit too much for no apparent reason. You know the people who are hell bent on making three shades of pink match.

Or.

I live in Washington, DC. It’s was hot as Hades here for the past couple months.

So why, oh why, did I see a man driving a mini-van in 98 degree heat with a button up long sleeved blue and yellow shirt with an off color arse sweater vest on? In the summer. With the windows rolled down.

You see? Doing too much. Un sexxy.  He is stupid. And thereby, unsexxy.

3. Since we already started down this path…be dumb.

Stupidity is the easiest path to unsexxiness.  I’ll never understand how folks can date really stupid people. I start to get hives when people who are afraid of information come into my sphere. It’s the quickest way to go from “oh she’s fine” to “i’ll break her off if she never speaks.”

But they always speak.

4. Just Be Annoying

I don’t care how attractive you are in theory. If you are annoying, you are not sexxy in practice. Period. Point blank.

Luckily, most supremely attractive women aren’t overly annoying since they spend so much time being fine that they don’t get the option to be annoying since they spend so much time being annoyed at the annoying d-bags. It’s a kind of addition by subtraction thing.

5. Be an Un-fun A**hole

I’m an a**hole. It’s been proven time and time again. Some say its part of my charm because at least I’m not mean. I tend to skew towards funny. And for all you people who only listen to people like Three 6 Mafia, skew is similar to leaning, except smart people use it to make mention of the fact that their biases lean them in a particular way.

For instance, Fat Joe could have easily renamed the song “Lean Back” to “Skew”. You see, Fat Joe’s dancing tendencies seem to skew towards backwards motions. Hence, he leans back. See?  Skew.

Education…Panama Jackson style.

Anyway, being an un-fun d-bag is definitely unsexxy. If this is you, go die.

Bonus #1. Be one of those d-bags who never knows what they want to do but rejects every idea that gets tossed into the ring.

This is a personal pet peeve of mine. Hence, I will remove some sexxy from you for it. Either put up or shut up. In fact, all people like this should be placed on House Arrest, STAT.  Or at least Utah.

Can you imagine how funny that would be? What if we put all of those people in a room together with one of those 1,000 item menus from a Chinese carry-out?  Would they all just eventually starve to death or would somebody finally get so pissed that they’d attempt to storm out except we’d have Jerry’s Angels keeping them all in the house causing them to be even more pissed while no decisions ever get made? Seems like bedlam to me. I’m excited, how about you?

Bonus #2.   Don’t listen to Panama when he drops jewels of knowledge.

I am sexxy. Therefore I know what sexxy is. Therefore, if you don’t listen to Mr. Oh So Sexxy, how can you rightfully expect to be sexxy. You can’t, that’s how.

This is just a mere smattering of ways that folks lose their sexxy.  What have you seen that’s killed somebody’s sexxy?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST

617 thoughts on “Just Perish.

  1. not bathe/pay attention to basic hygiene. if i can smell you before i see you, you are not sexxy, i do not want your number and if you ever somehow managed to get me in a situation where you took your clothes off in front of me, the bionic odour coming from you would probably knock me out and i’ll have your a$$ for assault.

    • In regards to smelly people, I’d like to say that I also find people who drench themselves in cologne, to be extremely un-sexxxy. I dont care if its the sweetest smelling scent in the world. If it makes me cough, sneeze or causes my asthma to flare up (and i dont even have asthma) then ur doin too much. I shouldn’t be able to pinpoint every move that you make because ur signature scent lingers.

  2. Unsexiness can occur when a couple of things happen. Usually, the most obvious is when people wear things they are not supposed to wear. I actually just wrote 2 lists on my blog called “Things GROWN women and men should not wear” (http://liffy.blogspot.com). It is necessary that people pay attention to these in order to preserve their sexy and moisturize their situation.

    • moisturize their situation
      speaking of which.. ashy a$$ knuckles, hands, feet, ankles and arms.. especially if you rocking a tattoo on your upper bicep and have rolled your sleeve up to show it off… moisturize please….

    • i just checked your blog and the list of what men should not wear is so on point… i die inside every time i see a black man with décolletage and red skinny jeans looking like he just robbed an american apparel that stocked only a size small and whatnot… mainly cos ol boy’s outfit should be on my broke a$$.

  3. .1 wear their button down shirts with too many buttons unbuttoned..visible chest hair is not sexy..
    2.wear gold chains or necklaces period. This is not sexy
    3.Whining is not sexy on a man or a woman but its especially bytchy for a man
    4. Wear to much cologne…I have allergies and I will take it as an attempt on my life and will be forced to defend myself
    5. ill fitting slacks.. especially the pleated kind that bunch about the waist and gather between the legs and extra short at the ankles? horribly yeasty and unsexy
    6 thinking that febreeze can really take the place of laundering your clothes. It is obvious and you are a nasty mofo…
    7. eye boogers, crust around the mouth or any thing else that lets us know you did not wash your face this morning
    8 dirty fingernails……
    9. dusty, worn, tilted, bent or just overall bad shoe game. You are a grown up, please have more than one casual, dress and sneaker in your wardrobe.
    10 use the following words pacifically (for specifically) fustrated for frustrated, add an “r” to the word milk, skreet, for street or have a lisp
    I will be back as more come to mind

    • eye stuff from sleeping in contacts can be hard to get out. and before you say I should just take them out, clean them and put them back in. . . if I was so conscientious, I wouldn’t be sleeping with contacts in now would i?

      • eye stuff from sleeping in contacts can be hard to get out. and before you say I should just take them out, clean them and put them back in. . . if I was so conscientious, I wouldn’t be sleeping with contacts in now would i?

        the triflingness of sleeping in contacts aside, if you know its hard to get out the fact that you dont take the extra effort to disguise said triflingness is quite unsexy….

              • I think it’s been all my years living in Tha Hood (not of it…Mother always told us there was a difference) and those years I spent teaching in said Hood’s Headstart program has availed me the opportunity to hear all manner of mutilation when it comes to Standard English.

                I used to think putting that “r” in the middle of the word “milk” was a little kid thing…until I met the kids’ parents.

              • think it’s been all my years living in Tha Hood (not of it…Mother always told us there was a difference) and those years I spent teaching in said Hood’s Headstart program has availed me the opportunity to hear all manner of mutilation when it comes to Standard English.

                I used to think putting that “r” in the middle of the word “milk” was a little kid thing…until I met the kids’ parents.

                exactly PBG exactly…..

          • Its quite common here in the M-town…. it grates my nerves like nails on chalkboards, I have an employee that insists on saying all of the words listed above.. I have to pull a drew barrymore from firestarter to prevent from jumping across the table and choking the shyt out of her a$$. “Back off, just back off” squeezing eyes together really tightly….

      • “um…where would you put the “r” in milk??”

        The same question ran through my head. The only people who get a pass for adding randoms letters to words, are grandmas and church deacons

      • it replaces the l in most cases but some cases it is before the l mirlk…..

        people who do this should get the death sentence…. no case, no trial, no jury….. just dead.

  4. 1. Be straightup boring…no sort of humorous stories or ability to actively listen

    2. Have dry, rough hands. Women have a few things that make them feminine and a graceful touch is one of them

    3. Rock the stingy ponytail w/o remorse. I understand if ur folical situation isnt popping, but style it at least. Throw on a hat if its that kind of day

    • ROTF @ stingy ponytail. That’s right up there with taps instead of wraps. And while we’re at it, wearing scarves in public.

    • “3. Rock the stingy ponytail w/o remorse. I understand if ur folical situation isnt popping, but style it at least. Throw on a hat if its that kind of day”

      I almost get into physical fights with women over this. “But its comfortable!” they say. I swear a lot of women have no idea about men, then they start complaining.

  5. If you:

    -are unable to find a way to have a good time outside of your element

    -are an artist/writer/dj/dancer/singer who is perpetually unemployed and who has no evidence of paintings/sculptures/poems/novels/mix-tapes/choreographed routines/demo tapes that you’ve produced

    -see a puppy/kitten/baby elephant/cute baby human and don’t go “awwww…”

    -are afraid to sweat

    -are happy living your life not knowing ish

    -are a woman with excessive hair on her upper lip

    -are a man with overly shiny/greasy lips

    -have stank breath

    -are a midget, male or female…

    …then you are unsexy.

    • if you are an artist/writer/dj/dancer/singer who is perpetually unemployed and who has no evidence of paintings/sculptures/poems/novels/mix-tapes/choreographed routines/demo tapes that you’ve produced

      LMAO good one VEG,… in order to claim “artist” you need to produce some kind of “art”.. and I dont mean printing out a business card or spray painting that shyt on your car or making it your status on My Space

    • -see a puppy/kitten/baby elephant/cute baby human and don’t go “awwww…”

      I was wondering what my problem was. Now I know. I’m also the dude that busted out laughing in the theater filled with little kids when bambi died. (didn’t get laid that day either. . .)

      • we might be twins. i wanted to smack the sh*t outta that deer and especially that motherfugging rabbit… too damn jipper.

        i did cry watching the fox and the hound though. when they leave the fox behind in the woods… damn. kills me every time.

        • “i wanted to smack the sh*t outta that deer and especially that motherfugging rabbit… too damn jipper”

          I cannot believe what I am reading! lol.

          Well, I don’t feel so bad now. Growing up, I used to hope and pray that Sylvester would eat that damn Tweety bird. lol. *looking around for my soul*

          • “Growing up, I used to hope and pray that Sylvester would eat that damn Tweety bird.”

            there’s cough mixture all down my damn laptop screen now. i hate that i had that exact same thought. we’re both sharing a stretch limo to hell, apparently.

            • I always wanted to see Tom to torture & kill Jerry, the Trix’s Rabbit to get some trixs, Cobra bomb G.I Joe headquarters, etc. Cartoons that always let the bad guy lose are misleading to little children, because in real life the bad buy always wins. How else can one explain G.W. Bush being our president?

      • “I’m also the dude that busted out laughing in the theater filled with little kids when bambi died. ”

        I thought I was the only one that does this. I laugh at bad situations in mostly all movies (except movies like Rosewood . . .okay I did laugh when the white girl got kicked to the curb and beat up by the white dude)

    • when see a puppy/kitten I want to kick them.

      midgets are good people. someone out there finds them sexy.

      when i see a baby I want to teach him/her cuss words. I laff when i hear kids getting disiplined in the store. When I hear a kid cry i mock them…not to be an a$$hole but to show them how irritating that sound is and hopefully they will stop. It works, try it.

  6. 1. Nagging behavior = Loss of sexy points. This can include but not limited to clinginess and being overly chatty for no reason other than hearing yourself speak.

    2. Close-minded-ness = Unsexy. If you’re totally against every suggestion I make saying things like:
    “No, I’ve never tried it, but I don’t ever wanna do THAT” (in reference towards eating an exotic food, going someplace, or trying a different sexsual position, etc.) sexy points are instantly deducted.

    3. Negative disposition = Lack of sex appeal. There’s no getting around, some people are just toxic. They constantly focus on the negative aspects of EVERYTHING, even sometimes switching their outlook on something just for the sake of being pessimistic. If it’s sunny outside, they wish it was snowing. If it’s raining, they wish it was sunny. If the weather is just right, they wish it wasn’t because they have an outfit they want to wear and can’t wear it when the weather is perfect. Ummm…yeah, not sexy.

    • “Close-minded-ness = Unsexy. If you’re totally against every suggestion I make saying things like:
      “No, I’ve never tried it, but I don’t ever wanna do THAT” (in reference towards eating an exotic food, “

      I hate people who only eat hamburgers and hot cheetos

      • “2. Close-minded-ness = Unsexy. If you’re totally against every suggestion I make saying things like:
        “No, I’ve never tried it, but I don’t ever wanna do THAT” (in reference towards … trying a different sexsual position, etc.) sexy points are instantly deducted”

        I hate females that only want me on top and don’t want to do any other position

        • There are chicks out there like this? Wow.
          I had to dismiss a dude because he only wanted to do it one way…lazy MF.

    • 3. Negative disposition = Lack of sex appeal.

      this.is.the.worst.

      i hate a sadsack mothertrucker who can’t find joy in jackschitt. it turns me into a bad person.

      just so you all know, if you’re having a really bad day or something and are ready to end life talking that “on the ledge” mess…do.not.call.me.

      i’ll tell you to jump JUST so you’ll get off the phone.

      • Okay, but what about people who are all happy and sunshiney every effing moment of the day? Those folks bl0w me too.

        Let’s just have a normal happy/unhappy ratio and I’m good, lol.

  7. If you smack your food, chew with mouth open, or constantly clank your fork on your teeth really loud…. and there a lot of those out there surprisingly, that is an instant unsexxxy in my book….

    • If you smack your food, chew with mouth open, or constantly clank your fork on your teeth really loud…. and there a lot of those out there surprisingly, that is an instant unsexxxy in my book….

      my sister does this shyt.. she makes so much noise I seriously have to eat in the other room at family dinners to stop from stabbing her a$$ 120 times with a butterknife…

    • “if you smack your food, chew with mouth open, or constantly clank your fork on your teeth really loud.”

      This is the equivalent of rubbing that white Styrofoam together continuously. It makes me cringe, and my skin crawls and I have to leave the room, or at least the vicinity until said unsexy person has stopped achewing.

      nastyness!

  8. Theists!!! I cant stand them. I judge any individual who subscribes to manmade superstitions, and dares to refer to themselves as an ‘intellectual’. Especially women who follow these poison doctrines that only contribute to the third class status bestowed upon them. I eagerly await the day mankind unleashes itself from the shackles of irrational dogmas. However, I am not holding my breath.

    A great man once said, “The world holds two classes of men — intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence.”

    I suspect many of you will take issue with this, and if you do not, then pat yourself on the back my friend.

    • “A great man once said” such things are always matters of opinion.

      Besides, the major religion (here in the US) claims that it’s text is an interpreted one (while simultaneously being the unadulterated word of God). So, by that token, and invoking the supremeness of my intelligence over all other beings (it’s the same thing that allows me to curse out Bush and other people in his cabinet despite them having PhDs, JDs, and all sorts of other degrees and experience that I don’t have) to interpret it in a way that is consistent with my world view.

      So, I must turn down the self-patting on the back.

  9. stupid kills the sexxy for me in HEARTBEAT! cuz like you said, they always speak…but i guess the ball gag takes care of that, though!

    um…other sexy killers? unfortunate hair. seriously, please folks, take the size and shape of your dome into consideration when choosing a style…and then take your skin color into consideration when choosing a color! if your skin tone is lookin like dikembe, then im gonna have to go ahead and ask that you NOT be blonde. mkay? thanks!

  10. I am too tired to write coherently and still have stats homework to do but here goes

    Forgetting your wallet 9 out of 10 times is not SEXY

    Indecisiveness is not SEXXY

    Hollering at me on the day your baby momma is giving birth to your 6th child (and she aint the momma of your other 5) is not SEXXXY

    Coming to pick me up for a date and beeping your horn outside my house is not SEXXXXY

    Wretched Teeth are not SEXXXXXY, if you can afford them rims you can afford to get your rotten teeth pulled and the others capped, whitened, and straightened

    I will come back once I have half my homework done

      • Yeah. bad teeth are a killer. My friend used to date a guy who purchased a $300,000+ house but who has a missing front tooth. Looked awful. How he got the digits I don’t know…

      • Yeah, I don’t get down with choppers on indefinite sabbatical, handle it, save up or go to the dental school in your area, or at least stop trying to holla at Alise….

      • I think I need to go see my PM and everyone else needs to write a letter to their prseidents because the teeth situation is clearly a GLOBAL problem…

        See,if dental isn’t cheap,how come people are willing to pay excess amounts on hair,physical appearance,rims for their cars…etc,but can’t get there teeth fixed? I just don’t bother…

        Anyhoo,my list of what I find unsexy are:

        1. Not having a car…I don’t have the time of day for guys who catch the bus,or I have to pick them up and be their chaffeur…And it doesn’t have to be any thing fancy,just 4 wheels and can take you from A to B….

        2. Unemployed…so not sexy!

        3. My aunt always said a man who doesn’t wear a watch,wears and synthetic belt and cheap shoes ain’t worth your time…Her reasoning,if you don’t wear a watch,you don’t keep time and will most certainly run late…synthetic belts- cheap tight arse…same for the shoes…coz if he can’t spend money on himself,best believe he won’t spend money on you….
        So therefore,I find a man with these traits unsexy

        4. Can’t spell write…especially text talk…It drives me insane when a guy who I fancy texts me saying things like ‘u goin o/2nyt? tc…’…WTF???Unsexy

        5. Guys who drink before noon…I get the need for the occasional glass of pinot gris,but do it when the stock exchange closes…

        6. Guys who quote movies/movie catch phrases and turn it into there thing….translated:trying to be funny dickhead thinking he’s cool…especially when you’re above 30…really,how many times can you act like stifler??

        That’s my list of oh so unsexy…..

        • What if you live in a situation where a car isn’t needed? I take the train and bus daily. I live in Arlington having a car would be a waste of money for me.

          • Yeah…no,wouldn’t work…If I have a car,you should have car…It’s not cool for a chick to be giving a guy lifts…It’s just not right…If a car’s a waste of money on your part…then you’re definitely a waste of my time…sowwy!

          • I live in DC Deviant (DC proper, not the “DMV”). I totally get what you are saying. No parking, expensive azz parking fines, ridiculous gas prices and the best public transit I’ve ever been on= no real need for a car. I’ve learned to give dudes a pass on that car thing.

        • “1. Not having a car…I don’t have the time of day for guys who catch the bus,or I have to pick them up and be their chaffeur…And it doesn’t have to be any thing fancy,just 4 wheels and can take you from A to B…”

          i am so with you on this one! and in fact, i would go so far as to say, i cant even really be friends with someone who doesnt drive! cuz even if i just meet them somewhere, then it gets awkward at going home time when i hop in my delorean and they start walkin towards the bus stop…i feel like an @ss just leaving them there and not giving them a ride. i dont need that kind of pressure in my life!

            • not super close friends….im telling you, the guilt about leaving them there would bug me. then the resentment about always having to drive would bug me too! we can kick it on occasion, but youre not my go-to homie if you cant drive sometimes….

              • I guess that kind of thing never occurred to me. I grew up in DC and sometimes I have a car and sometimes I don’t. Not having one has never stopped me or my friends from doing anything. And when I have had one, I can’t count the number times I parked it at the Metro station and got on the train, just for peace of mind.

                And not a one of my friends would leave me at a bus stop because I would never do that to them. There’s never a thought about it.

                But, I guess that’s just how I roll. *shrug*

    • stats homework? man, that blows! im good on the homework and im just basking in the afterglow of the Heroes premiere *le sigh* oh, how i missed it so!

    • oh and in response to your post…indecisiveness is so friggin annoying! i mean, we all have our moments, but to constantly not be able to make a decision without some grand cost/benefit analysis which still leaves you with no decision? so not sexxy….

      i will admit to having annoyed a few people in my day, but i wasnt being indecisive. i just didnt care. maybe apathy is unsexxy!

    • LOL so I clearly aint read ur post b4 I posted mine bout busted teeth. Clearly, I concur. Ish like missing front teeth are not the biz. Teeth ain’t sposed to be the windows to the soul (or throat). Get them curtains closed.

    • “Hollering at me on the day your baby momma is giving birth to your 6th child (and she aint the momma of your other 5) is not SEXXXY”

      Oh jesus, well if that aint the damn truth.

      How about, asking if a person has kids and they say “no”, KNOWING they have a baby due in 2 weeks. And then when the child is born and you refer to them saying they have no kids, they respond with, “i didnt have any kids when you asked.”

      That will gain a mofo 10000000000 unsexy points.

  11. okay, i got more…

    1. excessive need for external validation – i cannot stand people who need to be praised all the livelong day. do not invite me on your compliment fishing trip. thank you and good day.

    2. complete comfort with not knowing a thing about the world around you – ignorance is not bliss. and its not sexxy.

    3. total self focus – along with other diva dude-type behaviors

    4. excessive closed-mindedness – try something new, dammit! people who have never been anywhere and dont even want to go anywhere cant get down with me. not to mention rampant homophobia, sexism, racism, xenophobia….

    5. inability to laugh at yourself – im a goofy mofo. i feel no guilt in laughing at you, cuz i woulda laughed just as hard if it was me. so, dont get salty when you trip and i point and laugh! taking yourself too seriously is the easiest way to get me to mock you incessantly…

    all these things (and much more) are the keys to unsexxiness….

    • “5. inability to laugh at yourself – im a goofy mofo. i feel no guilt in laughing at you, cuz i woulda laughed just as hard if it was me. so, dont get salty when you trip and i point and laugh! taking yourself too seriously is the easiest way to get me to mock you incessantly”

      this IS one of my VERY unsexification pet peeves. of course you can find humor raggin on others…when a man can find it in and about himself..thats sexy hot.

      • “5. inability to laugh at yourself – im a goofy mofo. i feel no guilt in laughing at you, cuz i woulda laughed just as hard if it was me. so, dont get salty when you trip and i point and laugh! taking yourself too seriously is the easiest way to get me to mock you incessantly”

        ***mt ararat***

    • “1. excessive need for external validation – i cannot stand people who need to be praised all the livelong day. do not invite me on your compliment fishing trip. thank you and good day.”

      that shit drives me crazy. then again, perhaps i’m just the kind of a-hole who doesnt need validation from anybody so i wish the same of other people.

  12. Arrogance! It’s one thing to be confident but there’s nothing that kills sexiness for me than a cocky guy. It’s a big turn-off…

  13. Unsexxy thangs:

    *Ashy lips. I’m a strong advocate of all things vaseline. Getcho life rite and pick it up. Aint no reason to look like you been snacking on powdered donuts. Get yo Ne-Yo on and handle that (minus all that gloss)

    *Busted teeth. If your teeth look like you’ve been chewing on the strongest industrial STEEL, I say run ye to the nearest dentist. In the era of braces, invisalign and veneers, busted teeth are INEXCUSABLE

    *Taco meat chest hair. Seriously. Anthony Hamilton and his kind must be stopped. Otherwise, they will be attacked at nitetime w/ a Dark & Lovely perm kit. I wonder if relaxed chest hair needs deep conditioner…

  14. here are few more
    men that dont eat vegetables or drink water
    logo h*s.. everything you own is namebrand but its not that its that its overtly neme brand..neon shyt all over your hoodie, jeans, polo shirt…
    ninjas that drive luxury cars and work entry level a$$ jobs…..
    Grown ninja’s with roommates.. why the f*ck is your grown a$$ living with someone else at 30? (and driving a luxury car while being a walking billboard)…..

    • “logo h*s.. everything you own is namebrand but its not that its that its overtly neme brand..neon shyt all over your hoodie, jeans, polo shirt…”

      this is one of the main reasons i cant rock dereon (the other reason is the sheer hideousness of just about everything in the line)….all that giant label ish just seems so unnecessary.

      like i saw a dude in a t-shirt that had the huge A|X on the front walkin around like he was the shiznit! im like, so now we know that not only are you dumb enough to pay a$$loads of money for a stupid t-shirt, but we also know that youre dumb enough to advertise it!

      • “this is one of the main reasons i cant rock dereon (the other reason is the sheer hideousness of just about everything in the line)….all that giant label ish just seems so unnecessary. ”

        this is the truth.

            • “no self respecting drag queen ”

              Yes…cuz there are so many of them out there. lol. You should hit up the south end of Uptown (where the black ‘girls’ who don’t feel say in Boys Town hang) in Chicago on a Saturday night. All kinds of wrong. Tackiness on parade: bad makeup, awful weaves, skimpy, cheap outfits. I am always tempted to stop my car and perform emergency makeovers.

              • well, i must truly be lucky to have only been in the presence of truly fabulous drag queens! but yeah, a busted drag queen with a big blond lace front and bright red lipstick would probably rock the hell outta some dereon

          • If you were a drag queen, you could get some fly gear for yoself at Dereon.

            That shyt is so wrong.. the kids line is terrible but it aint just her Baby phat and apple bottom? I dont give a dayum if your a$$ is over 25 you to old to have a giant cat or apple on your a$$ or own items that are over 45% lycra.. unless you are a stripper, or a prostitute…

      • “like i saw a dude in a t-shirt that had the huge A|X on the front walkin around like he was the shiznit! im like, so now we know that not only are you dumb enough to pay a$$loads of money for a stupid t-shirt, but we also know that youre dumb enough to advertise it!”

        can’t lie, that was me at one point. i was broke then and didnt know any better. and i went to an hbcu and thought folks cared (they did). but at some point i got over myself and everybody else and realized that all that money i spent on my damn armani exchange…

        …could have been spent on strippers.

      • “like i saw a dude in a t-shirt that had the huge A|X on the front walkin around like he was the shiznit! im like, so now we know that not only are you dumb enough to pay a$$loads of money for a stupid t-shirt, but we also know that youre dumb enough to advertise it!”

        you know, these sh*ts are only like 25 bucks though. its not like you’re breaking the bank when you rock armani exchange

        • is it really necessary to spend $25 on a t-shirt? and when youre in college with no job, that might be breaking the bank….

          i had another friend that would eat spam for weeks and mooch off friends because he spent $200 on some gucci shades. that dont make no damn sense…

    • This is me 100%. I proudly admit that I’ve been a Ralph Lauren Polo whore since 1993. I only wear the shirts though. I wear it because I got tired of spending good money on clothes that go out of style. Polo is classic, just like a pair of Air Force One (another brand I’ve been supporting for a while) It never goes out of style.

      • This is me 100%. I proudly admit that I’ve been a Ralph Lauren Polo whore since 1993. I only wear the shirts though. I wear it because I got tired of spending good money on clothes that go out of style. Polo is classic, just like a pair of Air Force One (another brand I’ve been supporting for a while) It never goes out of style

        see I love ralph lauren mainly because his logo is discrete and he represents classic style. But if you are wearing the polo sport shirt that has POLO SPORT written in huge letters all over it and you chose said shirt because you feel like the traditional polo label was to small and “you spent to much money for someone not to know its polo” then you have lost all your sexy…..

        • What about those shirts w/the HUGE polo guy on the front? Those are just…ugh. Who decided the guy on the horse should be that big? That was a bad move.

    • “men that dont eat vegetables or drink water”

      i had a teammate in college who refused to drink water. like, he’d seriously have a fit if their wasn’t any gatorade left and he was forced to actually drink water.

      he also had like a size 14 foot, but would try to squeeze em into 11.5 shoes.

      i miss college

  15. Shtani said: “a busted drag queen with a big blond lace front and bright red lipstick would probably rock the hell outta some dereon”

    We sometimes call this person Tyra Banks (I likes me some Tyra but she be looking like she’s carrying an extra instrument at times)

  16. Eagerness (some people like to call it “being thirsty” but im not fond of that term) tends to be un-sexxxy. I know that I’ve met men who call me immediately…like 5-10 minutes after getting the number, and usually this moves subtracts severely from their sexy meter.

    It does dependon the person though. Like if the guy met me in a social setting and we were able to connect in some kind of way initially, he wont lose a bundle of points. but if there was no connection, and ur calling within a few hours, trying to set up a date for later that night, it makes me wonder “something is wrong with this riggan. i know im charming and gorgeous and chit, but damn, slow ya roll”

    That doesn’t mean to wait 2 months before you call (because I definitely wont remember you, nor will I entertain your convo), but give it a day or two. Act like you have a life or something because not having a life, is muy un sexy

    • “I know that I’ve met men who call me immediately…like 5-10 minutes after getting the number, and usually this moves subtracts severely from their sexy meter.”

      I had a kat call me 15 times within 4 hours of meeting me. Needless to say–he was straight up 86′ed. So un-sexxy.

    • Unsexy? – Chicks who don’t know what they want

      “call me immediately..and usually this moves subtracts severely from their sexy meter”

      “It does depend on the person though”

  17. People that don’t bathe after the club!! I’m sorry, I know most people are intoxicated after a lovely night but…but just think of how dirty you are. There’s the sweat, the smoke, the alcohol that was “accidently” spilled on you and just others people’s body juices, period <— ugh!.

    One of my best friends came into town this weekend and brought one of her homegirls with her. We all get home from the club and this chick starts to put on her night clothes! WTH? Mind you she had all this makeup that she put on to go to the club. My best friend practically forces her to at least wash her face. Then chick has the nerve to get up (without washing her face!) and put on makeup again to go to IHOP! Why oh why?!

    OH, and she kept scratching, which was making me itch…b/c I was SOOO grossed out!

    I just can’t do dirty people, especially dirty females.

  18. I don’t think that there is anything more un-sexxy, than meeting a brother with no ambition. If I meet one more guy who swears he’s going to be a millionaire by 30 who cannot tell me how he’s going to get it. I don’t need a play by play of the next 5 years of your life, but a sketch would be nice.

  19. i hate the person who shats on every IDEA you have or SHATS i a different why by saying “oh i knew that I got that email from MADPOWER unit yesterday” JUST go with the flow people! Just because you dont want to do something doesnt mean you have to shat on what I wanna do or salt up my idea to all OUR FRIENDS … Stop being a shatter! I feel like I’m getting punk’d with every convo I have with you and YOU ARE NOT ASHTON KUTCHER

  20. I am a stickler for teeth and breath. Gross Teeth Can kill the sexy. There are so many over the counter products out now that there is NO EXCUSE. Get some CREST WHITE STRIPS!

    And please make sure your breath is on point. If it is something serious, go to the doctor!!!!!!

    • And please make sure your breath is on point. If it is something serious, go to the doctor!!!!!!

      you know what? ive been lucky. i’ve never had to deal with a chick with the loch ness. that must really suck

  21. Boring people, I can’t stand someone who just isn’t trying to do anything, ever. People need to be outgoing, being adventurous is sexy, especially in a female.

    -JM
    MrSwagger.com

    • I agree completely, especially the people who have nothing going on ever. I have friends that I will call every 6 months and nothing ever changes and they’re just always chillen and doing nothing besides going to work and watching tv. I don’t get it.

  22. oh, i just remembered one act of unsexxiness that i actually witnessed.

    unsexy = proposing to your girlfriend at the olive garden. *blank stare*

    yes, my friend and i were at the place a few months ago and we saw all the waitresses all gathered in one area watching something (funnily, the waiters were FAR less interested) and then we heard the singing….apparently old boy was an opera singer. the waitresses were crying like THEY were the ones receiving the ring. and all me and my friend could say was, “seriously? olive garden? wow!” now maybe the place held some sentimental value…im certainly hoping thats the case. cuz i mean, dang…you gon’ take me to a chain? why not propose at IHOP? lets grab a number 4 and a number 1 at the drive thru at mcdonalds then…you can propose when we pull up to the first window.

    so not sexxy.

    • I’d reserve judgment on that one. Who knows what role Olive Garden played in their relationship.

      That could have been the place that they went to after arguing for five months and thinking “well, this is where we break up for good” then some masked maurader breaks in through the side window intent on robbing everyone when the man jumps in and using his middle school evening karate, disables the man saving his woman (and everyone else) from what surely would have been a horrible fate.

      Meanwhile, while the dude and the punk were duking it out, he was thinking, “wow, I must be the biggest dumbass, how is 7th grade karate going to help here. I’m going to die and never know the sweet taste of her thighs” and she’s thinking “omg, I can’t imagine not having him to boss around. he was good when we weren’t arguing”.

      So, after it’s all over, they make up in what they think is a quiet scene but was actually being photographed by a reporter who after pretending to choke on his linguine under the table while the whole thing was going down, is now taking pictures of everything trying to insert himself as a hero.

      The pictures get published, the man gets the goodies and with public pressure on the “cute couple” along with him realizing that p*ssy has more control over him now that he got a taste, he goes ring shopping and calls up his dumba** high school friends for some proposal advice.

      And. . . well, you know the rest.

  23. Man, I’ve been away 2 days and felt like I missed so much. I missed all ya’ll. :)

    This is a good list P-Jack, although “Skew” wouldn’t have worked as well in the club, kats woulda been lookin’ around all confused and ish. ctfu

    Un-sexxy? Not being able to hold a conversation on anything that is not involving yourself. C’mon dawg, read a book, watch a bit of cnn. Know what’s going on around you, outside of you.
    That’s un-sexxy as the day is long.

  24. All the unsexification that bothers me:

    1. Men who refuse to try anything new. Escargot lightly buttered and sauteed in garlic never really killed anybody.

    2. Women who chase men. Dear Lord, this is so out of order. And where did you get your testosterone from. Fortune does not favor the pressed. Simmer the he@ll down. Why not wait for men who actually want you AND vice a versa.

    3. People who never read books. Im busy too reading lots of industry stuff. But dam@n “take a look its in a book..a reading rainbow.”

    4. Women opposed to ANY makeup. A la natural at 40??? just a little “get down brown” gloss on those lips could change your life.

  25. 0. Being broke, staying broke, and complaining about it (yes, I started with 0–cus me, I’m seXXXy-er than you)
    1. Back hair
    2. Crooked teeth
    3. Not loving their own race
    4. Trying to figure out the width and health of my ovaries
    5. Ashy anything
    6. Weed lips
    7.

  26. If I’m with a chick and she starts talking about how wack another chick is that I actually find decent, that’s not very sexxy. I know hatred is part of yalls nature, but I just can’t get used to it. Like if we walking down the street and a chick walks by and she starts talking about what she was wearing and I don’t think it was that bad, I just get turned soft off.

    Same applies if she happens to see my Myspace or Facebook friend comments/messages/wall/pics and starts talking about how a chick isn’t as attractive as dudes thing she is. Also very unsexxy. Negativity in general, or overestimating the extent of one’s own hotness can be very very unsexxy.

  27. Let’s see if I can narrow this down…

    One of the most un-sexy things to me is the god awful combo of not knowing how to spell/put a sentence together/differentiate one word from another.

    Two examples:

    1. I met a gorgeous man and gave him my number. He called, we chatted, and at some point he asked me how I would describe myself. I said I am very eclectic. He replied, “Oh, so you be lighting sh!t up, huh?”

    I hung up on him.

    2. I met a gorgeous man and we exchanged email addresses. He made a smart remark, I made one back, something in reference to being the queen, and this fool’s reply was “Oh, excuse me your hinest!”

    I was done.

    Also, if I ask if you read, and your reply is, “I don’t like books, but I read magazines…like King, XXL, The Source…”

    We’re done here.

    • I said I am very eclectic. He replied, “Oh, so you be lighting sh!t up, huh?”

      *throat punch* lol
      I hate this too. If I say a word, and you have a perplexed look on your face like you don’t know what I just said, I’m out. :)

      • Right! You just not gonna know the difference between eclectic and ELECTRIC??

        Really?

        Kill yourself. And your moms.

      • ” If I say a word, and you have a perplexed look on your face like you don’t know what I just said”

        omg thank you! thats a big dealbreaker for me. and then because someone has a vocabulary accusing them of ‘talking white’ as if that has ever made sense.

        • “‘talking white’”

          Say that!!!! If I had a quarter for everytime I’ve heard this ish. I’m sorry that I can complete whole sentences, my bad.
          Go play in traffic MF.

          • oh my damn! i get that all the time! shoot, i will unapologetically talk white then…

            and you know them folks accusing you of talking white are the same ones that dont read, right? they dont even see the parallel of reading and speaking like you have the brain capacity of a gerbil

            • “and you know them folks accusing you of talking white are the same ones that dont read, right?”

              Yes ma’am!!!! ::nodding in agreement::

        • “and then because someone has a vocabulary accusing them of ‘talking white’ as if that has ever made sense.”

          That’s one of the quickest ways to get mollywhopped, seriously…

    • “I met a gorgeous man and gave him my number. He called, we chatted, and at some point he asked me how I would describe myself. I said I am very eclectic. He replied, “Oh, so you be lighting sh!t up, huh?”

      lol…this is definitely something i would say just to gauge the reaction

      • *shakes fists in anger, and looks up at you (assuming you’re taller than 5’11)*

        Dammit Champ, don’t make me hate you!

    • “Also, if I ask if you read, and your reply is, “I don’t like books, but I read magazines…like King, XXL, The Source…”

      We’re done here.”

      thanks, ive got the info im gonna need.

      LMAO! i cant even fathom folks talkin bout i dont read books, but i read magazines….i cant even put into words why i find it so ridiculous! but yeah, we’re done here!

      • Whenever some fool tells me they don’t like to read, it just really messes my mind up. I’m like, but….you know you read every day, right? I mean, unless you’re blind, and hell, at least thier fingers do the reading for them! I mean, wtf?

        I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I’m mad.

    • you know, sad to say, but a lot of people really have no clue how to spell words they use or the proper connotation for those words, etc.

      for instance, people often misuse “sense” or use it in place of “since”. that shit drives me crazy. i swear i want to pull out a red pen on people at times.

      as an anecdote, a long time ago, one of my boys got his heart broke by some chick in high school. 5 years later she hits him up on some i miss you and want to be with you now stuff…if you’re smart you’ll take me back.

      she did this via written letter and mail.

      my boy? marked it up for grammar and syntax and sent it back to her asking for a re-write by Friday or she gets an “F”.

      lol. no lie.

      • so you be gradin our post papers on here and whatnot, sense when??

        when you type really fast (and I go 70wpm) Im not really “thankin bout” sentence structure. I think people “fill” what im tryna say.

      • that is hilarious, PJ!

        and yeah, a lot of people cant spell or speak right, but that doesnt lessen my annoyance. one of my biggest pet peeves is the person that always says “whenever” even when youre supposed to say “when”…like, it bothers me so much i find it hard to listen to what theyre saying!

        and dont even get me started on non-words like irregardless! i lost all respect for the dictionary like 5 years ago (or however long ago it was that they added the “alternate pronunciation” of nuclear)

        • Ooh, you know what BLOOOOOWS me?

          “On tomorrow”

          OMG

          Made my hands hurt just typing that. There is a word that was made JUST to tell you that something is happening the day after today. That word…is TOMORROW.

          The “on” is so not flucking neccessary.

          Argh! On tomorrow and irregardless people get throat punches and crotch jabs.

  28. :::addition to the unsexay:

    1. men who don’t like starbucks

    2. men who like starbucks but have THE MOST impossible and feminine drink
    EVER. If your order shout out contains ANYTHING with “skinny” or “short”. or “light on the (foam//shots/whip)”..your out the Starbucks soup line. Get your unsexay @zz outta here.

    • 1. men who don’t like starbucks

      hi, hater.

      my reasons are valid. who do you think is orchestrating this 700billion dollar taxfunder backed takeover of wall street.

      yep, starbucks.

      • Well I hate Starbucks. It is just a very pretentious establishment. Everybody who goes there gets on my damn nerves…with their little laptops and photographic memories of the unnecessarily hard to pronounce/ remember items on the overpriced a** menu.
        F*ck Starbucks!

        Oh wait…but I like their Caramel, Vanilla Bean and Mocha Frappucinos…those are exempt from my wrath.

        • You have not lived until you have seen one of the littlest Manhattanites going off on her father because he dared try to get her to drink Nesquik Strawberry Milk when “MOMMY ALWAYS BUYS ME STRAWBERRY FRAPPUCINOS. I HATE NESQUIK DADDY; I HATE YOUUUUUUUU!”

          • This little Manhattanite must have been one of our cousins ( cousin=2520) because nowhere in this anecdote did I read ” And then she got the fool slapped outta her”.

          • I know children who ONLY drink the coffee based fraps, and when someone tries to subsitite the cream based ones, they REBEL. “Daddy, there is no COFFEE in this! Buy me the one that mommy gets me!”

            I swear, every time I hear this I want to smack their mom (she’s my friends wife… this is one of the things about her that makes me question his judgement)

            Good Lawd

            • I know children who ONLY drink the coffee based fraps, and when someone tries to subsitite the cream based ones, they REBEL. “Daddy, there is no COFFEE in this! Buy me the one that mommy gets me!”

              i swear, there is no God. how in the f*ck is a 5 year old going to be hooked on caffeine? i bet the lil motherfugger has like 4 blackberrys and their own hedge fund too that they run when they’re not taking naps and sh*t.

              • Exactly.
                We (my sister and I) used to get in trouble when we stole sips outta my Mom’s mug when she walked outta the room…lol

              • “I know children who ONLY drink the coffee based fraps, and when someone tries to subsitite the cream based ones, they REBEL. “Daddy, there is no COFFEE in this! Buy me the one that mommy gets me!”

                i swear, there is no God. how in the f*ck is a 5 year old going to be hooked on caffeine? i bet the lil motherfugger has like 4 blackberrys and their own hedge fund too that they run when they’re not taking naps and sh*t.”

                …yeah those dam@n grown @zz kids. They make me sick…esp ones watchin The McLaughlin Group thinkin they Eleanor and shyt up way past their bedtime. (oh wait!!…)lol

              • Ok Coffee is a cultural thing… I been drinking coffee real Coffee, (not that crap at Starbucks and D&D, though I am a D&D fiend) since I was like five, and my parents let my one year old nephew sip on it.

                We drank Columbian, Salvadorian, Nicaraguan, Guatemalan, and Dominican Coffee (in very small doses) in espresso cups.

                Coffee is to Latinos what wine is to Italians. Which is why I can not bring myself to buy a tall whatever that is going to cost me my first born’s first born, when my mom makes the bomb coffee at home erryday. Now if I could only get over there erryday

                **calling mom**

              • I had some Turkish coffee one time at this little restaurant, and man!!!! I thought I was gonna have hair on my chest. To think of it, the little lady served it to me in an espresso cup as well. Even with cream and sugar, it was hella strong.
                International coffee is no punk.

        • I agree…Starbucks is full of pretentious posers…And it’s what makes it really marketable…I have friends who meet up at Starbucks just so people can see that they go to Starbucks…wtf? I do however,am a fan of the Vanilla Soy Chai Latte…heaven….

          • “I do however,am a fan of the Vanilla Soy Chai Latte…heaven….”

            so let me get this right..you aren’t prententious when you steamin a dairy substitute in your TEA…

            did I get that right????

            listen here Starbuck haters. Everybody’s Got There Somethin’ Nikka Costa style…so if your unintentional “snobbery” is leather bound vintage books, music aint nobody heard of EVER, shoes, degrees…it can be seen as “snobbery” too.

            (btw..im lovin how people hate starbucks and all it stands for WITH THE EXCEPTION of certain MENU items).

            • I happen to be vegan..and have been for 7 years,and I get alot of you’re being pretentious for not eating meat/wearing leather,but it’s a choice I made…Starbucks happens to be the only coffee place within a 5 mile radius of my Uni that actually has Soy Milk…if I had a choice I’d buy my Chai Lattes elsewhere…How is that snobbery??

              • “You;re right. I’ve never come across a prententious vegan.”

                lol..every vegan ive ever met has been pretentious. like, without exception. we must be meeting different vegans

              • Why is everyone hating on the vegans…lol…You can’t put us all in the same basket…Where’s the love ppl…How about I make everyone vegan cupcakes? Lets not hate…

              • I am a meataterian, I completely understand the personal choice and tough decisions. Just the other day I refused to go to SaladWorks because they didn’t want to serve me my Steak salad with bacon instead of lettuce. Then they had the nerve to ruthless mock me telling me that its not a salad without lettuce. Like they invented the salad or something! I’m reporting them to the BBB.

              • “You;re right. I’ve never come across a prententious vegan.

                they’re pretty grounded and not snobs.”

                i just choked on my Orbit Bubblemint gum! LMAO!

              • I am a meataterian~ the only time I gave up meat for any length of time was while I was in Guatemala, for fear of parasites it wasnt safe to eat. (Im speaking specifically of red meat). When I got home from my 14 day trip I went out and bought the greasiest hamburger with all the toppings at a wiener joint around the way…. mmmm ** I’m hungry****

                “Orbit Bubblemint gum” that is my favorite!

            • …so if your unintentional “snobbery” is leather bound vintage books, music aint nobody heard of EVER, shoes, degrees…it can be seen as “snobbery” too.

              This blog is filled to the e-brim w/snobs, whether ya’ll know it or not.

              Comeback Girl, keep on lovin’ your Starbucks. You’re right…we all have to have something.

          • Starbucks = Pretentious Posers
            Independent Coffee House = Grad Students in front of and behind the counter

            Real people go to Dunkin Donuts.

            Us professionals have Flavia (or the Starbucks machine, if your job requires you to wear a suit)

    • What about women who don’t like Starbucks?

      Because when I lived in NYC, I was good with the discount coffee off the Dominican truck. And, I could see how any man would be, too. In fact, his frugality in avoiding the burnt-up beans of the Starbucks designer coffee would actually increase his sexy to me.

      MARK MY WORDS, A MAN WHO DRINKS CHEAP COFFEE IS A MILLIONAIRE IN THE WORKS.

      • why are yall defiling this sacred starbucks thread…with ANTI-Starbucks sentiment. re frugality…its only the custom coffee that costs a little extra. The regular drippy drip (with varied exciting roasts) are very inexpensive.)

        • “men who like starbucks but have THE MOST impossible and feminine drink
          EVER. If your order shout out contains ANYTHING with “skinny” or “short”. or “light on the (foam//shots/whip)”..your out the Starbucks soup line. Get your unsexay @zz outta here.”

          lol. saw this all the time. as a former starbucks employee *ducks and hides for cover* just let it go, people. i love it there. and i don’t even like coffee but that damn white mocha gets me every time.

          • “white mocha gets me every time.”

            This is great. I only go about once a month, but I have to have this drink. White chocolate mocha rocks!

            • my soul sister – that white mocha is that SH*T.

              generally though, for a good cup of brew i fux with dunkin donuts every time. that french vanilla is on point, and cheap too. too bad i can’t find any in my bougie a$$ neighbourhood.

              • You know someone else told me that DD has good coffee. Sadly, these joints are few and far between in my town. There is not a one anywhere in close proximity, but next time I see one, I’m gonna give them a try…lol

              • “my soul sister – that white mocha is that SH*T.”

                ain’t it though? with all this talk i’m having a craving. ya’ll ’bout to make me have to make a pit stop on my way home.

                and i’m sorry. i’m surrounded by Starbucks and DD. *e-hug*

              • im not a starbucks fan (cuz im a cheap bastid) but i dont hate it…i like the strawberries and cream frapp (no coffee in that…im not a coffee drinker really)

                but it looks like i need to go try this white mocha business!

                and as for dunkin donuts…on the very few occasions where i drink coffee, thats where i get it. it really does taste good (and this is coming from someone who usually just has a little coffee in my cream and splenda)

              • uhh I get my coffee from mcdonalds along with my southern style chicken bagel + egg and cheese.. holla!!!!

          • “This is great. I only go about once a month, but I have to have this drink. White chocolate mocha rocks!”

            I am stopping by after 2pm with my $2 off coupon! Yall done started something now.

            • I just had one last Thursday. I got 3 more weeks to go til the next one. Enjoy it for me as well. :)
              My starbucks addiction was off the chain at one point, so I have to limit myself now…ha!

    • “1. men who don’t like starbucks”

      you know, i’ve never drank coffee before in my life? i’ve tasted it a couple times, wasn’t feeling it, and really had no need to ever try again.

      until they start making milkshakes, f*ck starbucks

      • You should try the vanilla bean creme blended frapp..that’s the closest thing to a milkshake and it. is. YUM.

      • “You know, i’ve never drank coffee before in my life?”

        Champ–
        Do you like tea? Hot chocolate? Something?

      • so harsh. ya know they do make non-coffee drinks?? they have good tea (esp the tea lemonade–kinda like an uppity uptown) and their hot cider in the winter is quite tasty. i dunno about milkshakes, but they have these “crème” drinks that are a blend of steamed milk with something like vanilla, strawberry, or pumpkin spices. i hear they are de-lish. altho, ordering a strawberry crème may put you in line w/ Comback Girl’s #2.

      • blashpemers!!! no coffee? i’m not even CLOSE to being nice until my second cup in the morning… in fact, I’m the EXACT OPPOSITE of nice…

        Him (with his chipper ass): Good morning babe!
        Me: (barely audible grumble) F**k outta here with that… we’re running out of South African dark roast…
        Me (after coffee): Morning, my love…

        see the difference… coffee makes the world a nicer place

        **Starbucks is ridiculously over-priced. I gave up my habit and the savings became the new home theater system… THAT.IS.ALL.**

        • “coffee makes the world a nicer place”

          exactly AND SMARTER…I really can’t even process good thought without coffee. With a good cup of joe, I could rule the world WAY better than Nas/Lauryn nem.

        • “Starbucks is ridiculously over-priced”

          Hence my once a month trip. After I added up how much I was spending on coffee every month, I started drinking the free ish here at the J.
          Is it as good? No.
          Do I like saving $$? You bet your arse I do.

      • Champ, starbucks has hot chocolate too. I don’t drink coffee, so when I go in there, it is to order White Hot Chocolate and those dippable cakes.

        • “Champ, starbucks has hot chocolate too.”

          i know, but it tastes like sh*t too. borders (well, actually, “seattle’s best”) has the best hot chocolate, and this is an inarguable fact

          • “borders (well, actually, “seattle’s best”) has the best hot chocolate, and this is an inarguable fact”

            I wholeheartedly concur, Champ. I kicks it w/ Borders Hot Cocoa (while reading their magaiznes for free)

          • Seattle’s Best is better than Starbucks. My favorite one is Pete’s Coffee, I think it’s only on the west coast though. After I had a latte there, it was hard to go back to Starbucks…

  29. I think we forgot one…..

    one of the most unsexxy things is being UGLY.

    I dont mean this is the mean way but everyone on here know they got a friend who is just plain ole ugly and when ppl ask you to describe said friend you’re always at a lost for words…

    • Naturally Alise.

      I live in a state that is only 45-50 minutes in length on I-95 and I know people~grown people~ that have never left the state. And I know other people that may have left the state but have never been to Boston (an hour away), or Hartford (an hour away), or New Haven (a little more than an hour away). Just sad!

      • um…not to hate on philly or nothin (sorry, guys!) but i have found that here a LOT. people who are like, philly is the best city hands down! and im like, oh yeah? where else have you been? and the answer is, nowhere, theres no need….i mean grown folks sayin this. like, have never been anywhere and dont even want to go anywhere…never been on a plane, dont even have a passport.

        i dont know if its elitist or what, but i find that horribly sad.

  30. 2. Be Colorblind

    true! met a friend of a friend once, good looking dude except for the outfit. how does one really explain a criss-cross stripe windbreaker over a vertical stripe button up over a horizontal stripe T… all oversized and extra matchy.
    i, being a *smidge* tipsy says “sure i’ll dance with you but you’re gonna have to take off a layer or two of clothing bc your outfit is making me dizzy”

    furthermore– why do some dudes insist on holding on to the ‘outsized clothing’ look? not only has fashion gone in the complete opp’site direction but if you’re rail skinny you aint fooling anyone there, chief.

    isosceles triangle teeth. its been mentioned but can never be mentioned enough. ever.

  31. Its unsexxy to have a FICO less than a 650-625 . You also lose points if you don’t know what your FICO score is.

  32. I hate when men who don’t know what it means to be a man. Very unsexxy.

    I think a man has ONE role in his relationship with women: PURVEYOR OF SECURITY. And I mean this of any stage or kind of relationship.

    Walk your classmate to her car at midnight. Pay for the first date. Talk your sister through her problems. Make sure your girlfriend/wife knows that she’s number one to you.

    If you can’t do things like these, you aren’t a man, and you really need to sit down somewhere.

    Similarly, women have one role in their relationship with men: PURVEYOR OF SUPPORT.

    Know what it means to be a woman!!

    Encourage and take care of your friends and family when they need you. Always have your man’s back–at least in public. Smile!!

    If you can’t do these things, you aren’t a woman, and you really need to stop.

    • I really hate all the pseudonyms that people use for “church” now. I guess I should also state that I hate the term “church” when you agree with something. Its a terrible spinoff from “preach”.

      Its one of those things where I wish spin offs from “co-sign” blew up instead of “preach”. I guess black people don’t like being reminded of anything having to do with co-signing as it has obvious negative connotations as far as folk are concerned lol. But to answer your comment:

      *Cuts up credit cards and furiously curtails spending for a year. Walks into credit union with significant other and holds breath as mortgage broker pulls up credit. Signs on the dotted line”

      • “I really hate all the pseudonyms that people use for “church” now. I guess I should also state that I hate the term “church” when you agree with something. Its a terrible spinoff from “preach”. ”

        Who asked you what you thought? Damn, I wish you’d stop thinking.

        lol. I don’t know why picking on you is bringing me such joy today.

        I love you, I really do.

  33. O panama! you truly are sexy – i think it’s that extra ‘x’ you put in there that just convinces me of this and does me in! oooo weee!!

    and that’s my contribution for the day. did you get my mail, by the way? sent it to the general address provided on the site. i’m in need of counselling, man!

  34. Okay you Know what is SOOOO UNSEXXY for LADIES?…

    Wearing a hair weave that does not match your texture or color!
    Now I’m not saying that weaves are bad. By all means sista if you can’t achieve it, weave it! But if you are going to go that route MAKE SURE YOUR PIECE MATCHES! Your weave should fool the public. There’s no reason why you should have silky hair flowing midway down your back, while your roots look like taco meat or like you’re growing a patch of potatoes! PERM AND OR A PRESSING COMB IS YOUR FRIEND!

    And while I’m on the weave subject…I want to tell you sistas who are seemingly suffering from what I like to call the Pecola Breedlove syndrome (see/ read Toni Morrison’s The Bluest eye) Blonde hair weave is not for everybody! Beyonce has some of you trippin’. STOP IT!!! TAKE IT OUT!!! UNSEW THAT MESS IMMEDIATELY!!!!

    Oh Yeah and the women with Rainbow colored weaves need to stop too! You know who you are! Up in the club looking like you got in a fight with a box of crayons and lost….Get your life right Crayola!

  35. Men that looove Karaoke…and happen to be sober…lol…So unsexxxy…I once had a guy try and serenade me with Prince’s ‘Purple Rain’..-Karaoke style…Yeah,was having any of it…In fact,men shouldn’t sing period,unless you posess the natural ability for it…and by natural ability,I mean you’ve realeased at least 2 CD’s and one has made it double platinum…lol..Singing in the shower does not count…

    • “Men that looove Karaoke…and happen to be sober…lol…So unsexxxy…I once had a guy try and serenade me with Prince’s ‘Purple Rain’..-Karaoke style”

      theres no way in hell you should try to sing purple rain in front of an audience unironically. no way.

  36. Being mean/evil/loud/obnoxious for no apparent reason kills all sexxyness. OK, the first time I might laugh, the second chuckle, but if it happens again, you got ta go. Sexxy and nice/sweet/respectful were identical twins in the womb but somehow got separated at birth with some women. Just cause you fine don’t mean you can treat me or the other men folk any whichaway. Now sometimes we deserve it, true. But not all the time and not all of us do.

  37. So Luvie touched on this topic yesterday. Just because you put SEXY, JUICY, and Bootylicious on the arse of your pants, doen’t make you so. As a matterof fact, making your bottom a billbord, or testamant to your inner feelings does not make you or your butt any more attractive. It just makes your butt easier to read, and you easier to laugh it!

    I also think that loud talkative people, you know people who talk so loud, that you find yourself almost screaming in conversations with them. Momma said the loudest one, doning the most talking is usually the one with nothing important to say.

    Unsexxy…. I declare

    • “Momma said the loudest one, doning the most talking is usually the one with nothing important to say. ”
      Say that!!!

      • My favorite quote:

        “A wise man speaks because he has something to say. A fool speaks because he HAS to say something.”

    • “I also think that loud talkative people, you know people who talk so loud, that you find yourself almost screaming in conversations with them.”

      I’m Nigerian. ALL family gatherings sound like shouting matches. When in actuality, everyone is just loud, and to be heard, you must yell. It’s a mess. I pity the neighbors.

      • i hear ya… barely. its the same with the Ghanaians. just all kinds of loud for NO reason. neighbors conveniently head down the shore for the entire summer b/c of mom’s bbq’s
        i rebelled by talking so quietly, you had to shut up to hear me. now its a habit (sad).

        there should be an allowance for the Africans. sometimes, its just not our fault.

      • “I’m Nigerian. ALL family gatherings sound like shouting matches. When in actuality, everyone is just loud, and to be heard, you must yell. It’s a mess. I pity the neighbors.”

        oh lord, so so true. i yell so much, i’ve lost my damn voice and i’m all a-whispering like a ying yang twin. i feel like i’m letting the country down.

      • So according to Luvvie, Puff and Blackberry Molasses, all this loudness is an African trait. With this being true, don’t give us African-Americans any crap about being loud as hell. It’s a carry over from the Motherland…like substituting the “th” sound w/a “v”.

        • Kenyans get a free pass too and since I’m half Ghanian half Kenyan and I got the voice and I never lose it. sorry if you get to be anywhere near my clan during the gatherings ;-)

  38. 1. If your breath smells like an ash tray-get nicorette

    2. You are black/brown/purple and have no intention of voting

    u.are.unsexy.

    I’ve been reading for months but decided to actually post today.

  39. un-sexxy? hmmm…

    1. ugly feet. can’t stand cleff-foot, oprah lookin’ feet.
    2. hair color that looks like you used a box of trix instead of a box of dark-n-lovely
    3. bad musical taste. your choices in music tell me a lot about you. also, i love hip hop so your favorite rappers should not be in the 106 & park rotation.

    • “ugly feet. can’t stand cleff-foot, oprah lookin’ feet.”

      ok. why am i imagining someone taking off their shoe, and oprahs face is there in place of a foot?

      dammit. i need my f*ckin toast

    • 1. ugly feet. can’t stand cleff-foot, oprah lookin’ feet.

      amen to that. nothing worse than some hairy, i-was-an-extra-hobbit-in-the-lord-of-the-rings, fungus infected, bunion having, long toe-nailed, multi-coloured, extra mature cheddar smelling feet.

      damnit i feel ill now just thinking about feet. i need some guac and dip.

      • “nothing worse than some hairy, i-was-an-extra-hobbit-in-the-lord-of-the-rings…”

        wowwwwwwwwww!

    • “3. bad musical taste. your choices in music tell me a lot about you. also, i love hip hop so your favorite rappers should not be in the 106 & park rotation.”

      I agree Southern….. as a matter of fact, I declare and decree if you are over 18 and still watch 106 & Park… one must shoot themselves in the pinky toe for the first offence.

      If you listen to garbage you will eventually start living that way. Your subconscience is very sentsitive to auto- suggestion- the music you influence it with- will be the way it manifests in your life people!

      • “one must shoot themselves in the pinky toe for the first offence.”

        This reminds me of “Harlem Nights”. Della Reese was one BAD b*tch!

  40. I think the Champ will agrees with me 100% on this next point.

    You know what else is unsexxy? The way the Steelers loss this past Sunday to the Eagles. It’s so unsexxy to have and offensive line that doesn’t protect the Quarterback. lol

    • “The way the Steelers loss this past Sunday to the Eagles. It’s so unsexxy to have and offensive line that doesn’t protect the Quarterback. lol”

      It was very unsexxy. :(
      I’m still in mourning. I couldn’t even talk my usual ish to the Cowgirls fans this week. BOOOO!

  41. Not sure if it’s really related to today’s topic, but all of these comments reminded me of this guy I dated that always had to be two steps ahead of me in conversation. I called him Jump to Conclusions for short (JTC). Our conversations usually went like this:

    Kindred: I’m thinking about buying a new…

    JTC: *interrupts*Car, right? This one doesn’t get good mileage, but you should get good money for the trade-in.

    Kindred: No, I was gonna say cell phone. This one has terrible battery life. Maybe I should go with…

    JTC: Sprint, right? They have the best phones out there right now.

    Kindred: *peeved* No, I hate Sprint. Why would I voluntarily sign up for that? Besides, I can always get…

    JTC: *interrupts again* a smaller plan. Yeah, that might work.

    Kindred: No, an unlocked phone.

    JTC: I know you so well.

    Kindred: I just realized that I completely hate you.

    Anyway, the preceding exchange was entirely unsexy.

  42. Hmmm, well I’ll leave people’s feet alone. While I am brimming with beauty, that ish ran out right at the ankle. I walk on hooves and am proud of it!

    On to my list of un-sexxiness:

    - Men who don’t know what chivalry is.
    - Loud women (not the “let’s get a little hype with our fun” crowd. I’m referring to the “Watch me cuss you out real loud” crowd.)
    - Thieves (it happened to me, otherwise I wouldn’t even mention it)
    - addiction to Scrabble
    - mean people
    - non-voters
    - smokers (yeah, I’ve been guilty. A sister is in rehab and ish. The patch is itchy but effective.)
    - obvious liars. I know people who will lie about the color of the sky. For no reason. Sooooo unsexxy.
    - girls who wear their pants so tight you can see their vericose veins. I know you heard the seams crying.

    That’s all for now. I’ll apologize ahead of time for anything already listed.

    • “While I am brimming with beauty, that ish ran out right at the ankle. I walk on hooves and am proud of it!”

      Why must you make me cry at work? ctfu

    • *on the defensive* TAKE THAT BACK!! There is NOTHING wrong w/ Scrabble!! :-p

      I’m a geek. I love scrabble. And if a man is addicted to Scrabble, it porlly means he can read. And have conversations. And isn’t Jim Jones.

    • I walk on hooves and am proud of it!”

      Why am I crying~ all I could think about was the Hercules The Legendary Journey and the centaurs or minotaurs… ooooo I need air

    • “While I am brimming with beauty, that ish ran out right at the ankle. I walk on hooves and am proud of it!”

      Why was this so hilarious, yet honest?!?! LMBAO

  43. Funny stuff Panama.

    …and until recently I enjoyed the notion that men found me sexy. I now feel that being sexy and/or pretty is officially overrated. No one takes you seriously, nor do they appreciate your love as genuine.

    I know that I get ahead in life b/c of my looks, but it’s disconcerting to know that my intelligence is often overlooked just because I have a nice smile.

    Oh well, I’m sure my woes sound stupid right now…so i’ll just stop typing.

  44. “So why, oh why, did I see a man driving a mini-van in 98 degree heat with a button up long sleeved blue and yellow shirt with an off color arse sweater vest on? In the summer. With the windows rolled down.”

    It’s not a fashion statement. He fits a profile…

  45. What is also unsexxy…people who have high expectations of other people when they ain’t perfect….really,would you NOT date someone just based on their musical taste? And if everything else is okay? I just think we expect too much of other people,when we aren’t equally perfect,and I’m sure alot of people could come up with things that make us unsexxy…I think sexy is accepting people just as they,and not changing a thing! he has 6 toes…deal with it…you have bad breath!

    • “I think sexy is accepting people just as they are”

      tongue and cheek aside…i totally agree with this. You know youre really into someone when their neurotic @zz is neurotic as all hel@l but you still dig em anyway. friends also very much apply to this too.

    • I will not date someine who thinks Lil’wayne, T-pain, T.I. are the soundtrack for their lives. Will not do it!!

      I accepts peoples flaws… dont expect my boo to be minty freash at the top of the morning. I accept the fact that on Friday’s the clothes he takes off will sit in a pile until Saturday afternoon when he cleans the house and washes his clothes.

      Music chose, really tells you where one in in life, what the aspire too, believe in, and relate too…. I would definitly send the guy packin if he clogs his “pod” with “radio music”.

      Could just be me, though

      • I have to deal with someone who has well rounded music tastes. .I love Lil Wayne, TI and every once in a while TPain gets the club crunk but thats Not all I listen to. I might be feeling some Gym Class Heroes, some Common, Kanye, Talib, black star, that first prodigy joint, etc. I think being One sided about anything in life is unsexy.

      • So,it’s just the music that’s an issue? I found I’d made an entire list of flaws that weren’t suitable and ended up with wrong guy after wrong guy…now I just have a few prequisites…Sense of style…I love a man who dresses well,especially when he puts his own twist on a trend…And I’m not a fan of guys on the heavy side…I work out 3 times a week…I expect you to be just as healthy…apart from that,I’m not THAT picky…

        • Music is a huge part of my life. My dad is a musician, so a lot of time is spent going to see him perform. So if I cant share that with you that is a huge chunk of my life that you are closed off from. I get excited about new hot music, I like to listen to it, talk about it. clean the house with it. etc. My life has a soundtrack. .almost every major moment of my life has a song attached. It might not be this way for some but it is for me. So yes its a problem if you cant open your mind to listen to stuff outside of your comfort zone

          • I totally feel you. I listen to music from the minute I wake up until literally the minute I fall asleep. If I can’t share that with my SO, it’s not going to work out.

          • Hey,I totally agree with you…Music is a huge part of my life too,I DJ…Most of the music I listen to has either formed the soundtrack to major life events and memories and I get it can be quite annoying dealing with people with limited musical taste…But on the otherhand,I’m not a music snob…I’ll listen to anything…If someone is passionate about T-Pain and Co and thinks they’re the best thing since sliced bread,although they’re respect value will drop a few notches,I won’t not date them purely because our musical tastes clash…It is who they are…

    • “really,would you NOT date someone just based on their musical taste? And if everything else is okay?”

      yeah i’m gonna call a flag on this one. i think you’re musical tastes say a lot about you. and thats on both ends. if you’re all lil wayne or all jill scott. i can’t date anybody who ain’t open to various things.

      and i will never only date a woman who’s only into neo-soul and likes all of it, even if its the most vapid sucktastic shit ever. telling me shit like, “little red boat” is a deep song. no…it’s not. its a bad song and i wish it would sink deep into the lake.

      i judge you by your musical choices. it is what it is.

      • Okay…what if that person is willing to broaden their musical inclinations,but still feel strongly about their own tastes? It just seems contradictory that you wouldn’t date someone if all they listen to is neo-soul and yet if you ‘got it’ from their point of view,you may seem a bit out of touch to them too…I just think this is one of those things that can be met half way…If a guy was fantastic and the only thing we didn’t seem to mesh well was the music,big deal..that’s why there’s iPod’s and you can seperate the house to his n hers music zones…neo-soul room 1/hip hop room 2….can’t that work??

        • it can be met halfway. however, some people are really into music (like me) and some people aren’t. it’s hard to reconcile those two and meet in the middle. now sometimes, the person who’s really into music exposes the other person to a lot of stuff and that’s great b/c they both are learning and stuff. however, i did once date a chick who couldn’t care less about anything that wasn’t on the radio.

          she had to go. and truly, as much as i love music its gonna be hard for me to date somebody who really can’t understand where i’m coming from. hell, my own girlfriends says thats the only time she ever sees me get hella excited – when i’m making a new beat or listening to something brand new.

          like, if you can’t appreciate donny hathaway, you might as well go kill yourself, cuz you’re dead to me emotionally.

          thats why i always keep myself around folks who like music…whether its the same kind i like or another…

          plus, music people are smarter.

  46. mean people=UNsexy
    snobs=UNsexy
    dumba$$es=UNsexy

    fake,wannabe “righteous brothas” scamming on chicks for “slap-happy time” @ the poetry spots=UNsexy

    rude/smelly/ugly people=UNsexy

    OJ Simpson=UNsexy and nightmarish

    skinny dudes=UNsexy (sorry skinny dudes, just my preference. ya’ll still hot to somebody…else)

    That’s all I got. For now.

  47. things I just thought of..
    ninjas that cant adjust to the situation (like jay said..you can buy the school but you cant buy class) you cant be thug life all the time nor can you be a stuck up uppity ninja all the time either.. if you cant move between worlds I cant f*ck wit ya

    Hip hop snobs… I love old school as much as the next person, I love some concious/backpacker hip hop as well but thats not the only good music.. I mean Lupe is cool but that last CD had 2 or 3 joints but overall it was not a standout and if you cant appreciate how bumpin that Swagger like us is on that TI CD you are officially “unsexy”

    • Shay-d– I thought we was peeps, e-sisters and such. But Lupe’s last album only has 3 joints?!?!?! Oh….. my heart hurts.

      The CD is great, its eloquent, street, conscience, yet un-pretentious.

      Don’t overdose on ‘The Cool’ — strungout = unsexxy

      • The CD is great, its eloquent, street, conscience, yet un-pretentious.

        see I find it quite pretentious and decidedly more “conscience” than street…. I think he really tried to hard on that one….but I supported him and bought it which is more than I can say for most people that claim to love lupe to get “intelligence” points

        • Thanks Shay… your support is appreciated. I actually did the do and bought 3, home, office and car….. ask me how many of those I have now?
          Only the copies I made because I know ninja’s steal.

          I think it was decidly more conscience than street, but street none-the-less. I think it was harder for him to mix, gel and blend those two things which for some reason are looked at as polar opposites.

          How un-fortunate is it that because I don’t sell drugs, have baby mama’s/ daddy’s, and wear the proper clothing size that I am not “street”. I grew up in those same streets, lived through those same struggles, my choices are what set me apart…..

          How sad is it because I had a child while un-wed, or that I’d dropped outta HS to work full time and now I’m earning my GED that I am not conscience?!! Or viewed as less intelligent?

        • i like the album…okay. i think lupe is one of the most pretentious f*cks out there, actually. he can rap but he’s not my bag. i think he’d benefit from better beat selections too…

          though “hip hop saved my life” is that crack.

          • i think lupe is one of the most pretentious f*cks out there, actually.

            Me too and in his pretentiousness he is becoming cliche and thats sad…

        • I agree Shay-D-Lady. Sometimes educated ninjas can get real sanctimonious about the current state of hip-hop. For the most part most of it is hot garbage; but Jay, TI, and even Lil Wayne are talented brothers.

    • I mean Lupe is cool but that last CD had 2 or 3 joints but overall it was not a standout and if you cant appreciate how bumpin that Swagger like us is on that TI CD you are officially “unsexy”

      i’m with you 100 percent.

      • Yeah, I’m feeling both versions of that song – the T.I. and the original. Makes me feel all hood, as I drive my Maxima from my gubment job to my suburb street. lol.

        Shay – thanks for bringing back the old DMV slang. Here’s to our other standbys: pressed, trife and bama, lol!

      • Yeah Lupe’s last one…snore.
        The hottest thing about “Swagger Like Us” is that Jay-Z verse and the MIA sample…lol

        • The hottest thing about “Swagger Like Us” is that Jay-Z verse and the MIA sample…lol

          I love Jay but I love TI’s verse at the end.. that beat is BANGIN as well…

        • “The hottest thing about “Swagger Like Us” is that Jay-Z verse and the MIA sample…lol”

          eh, lol. after ye’s verse, i skip to the next track

          • WHAT TI’s is hard on that joint when he opens with
            You go see Weezy for the wordplay,
            Jeezy for the verbplay,
            Kanyeezy for diversity, and me for controversy,
            All my verses picture-perfect and they meant to serve a purpose,

            WHATTTT
            IfYou kick it like me, no exaggeration necessary,
            Living revolutionary, nothing less than legendary
            Thats how I feel about my life!!!!
            suffice to say I feel you are missing out if you aint listening to TI on that joint….

  48. 1) MEN WHO FREEBALL IN PUBLIC. AKA COMMANDO. NOT SEXXY!!!

    today standing on the bus on my way into work i stood with my body sandwiched between a person sitting at my crotch, one person on each side and a man pressed against my back. now i don’t have no budunkadunk but it’s just enough that it attracts attention on super packed bus rides. it’s like it has no choice but to get fondled. either by people damn near resting on it or by folks sliding against it all slow and sh*t when they walk by.

    anyway, so today i felt something. i looked back and there was this man about my height just whistling on his way to work.
    so, i was like eh…whatev….
    then a few minutes went by and i felt it again. this time i looked down. and when i did i saw IT MOVE. it was squirming around underneath these thin black slacks.
    he was free balling.
    commando.
    i think i just threw up in my mouth.

    2) Men who proclaim themselves as being ‘sexxy’ 24/7. sorry Pmoney, i had to do it.

  49. ooh,I have to say I find accents sexxxy!! Especially brothers with English accents…I once dated an ugly looking dude purely because when he spoke,it just sounded like I was in a Jane Austen novel and he was my knight…I would still date him again…just for the accent!

      • Hahaha…too funny! I think I grew up with my own Australian acent and when I started travelling I met black people with different accents that would make me go ‘aww,hello’…so,i know find it sexy whenever I hear a man,black or white with an exotic accent,different to my own…I think for me it’s the pitch and tone of the voice that makes a man unsexxy…If you sound like Vin Diesel,best believe you have your name on one of my ovaries,but Steve Urkel sounding guys are a definite no no…

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