Jared Kushner Is A Thug » VSB

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Jared Kushner Is A Thug

Dominique A. Pineiro/DoD via Getty Images


Thug has become such a ubiquitous dog whistle for a certain type of uncomfortable Blackness — and by “certain type of uncomfortable Blackness” I mean “all Blackness” — that the whistle is no longer necessary. Nothing is coded, nothing concealed, nothing cloaked. Those who use it in this context can’t even feign to deny anymore that they’re employing it to evoke a certain type of imagery; that they’re specifically attempting to a stoke fear of a Black person (usually male, but occasionally female) whose appearance, actions, and attitudes exude a latent criminality. They say thug, and we’re supposed to immediately picture anyone ranging from Colin Kaepernick (because tattoos and uppity) to Kanye West (because Taylor). Which is a great piece of semantic propaganda, as the arbitrariness of that distinction creates an ever-shifting goalpost where anyone Black could be a thug. The only immovable criteria is them perceiving us as a threat. Equally and perhaps even more importantly, it also hides their thuggishness in plain sight; criminalizing sagging jeans and braided hair and Homewood while the thuggiest thugs are actually in boat shoes and Patagonia fleeces in the Hamptons.

And perhaps no single public figure embodies this dichotomy better than Jared Kushner, the thuggish ruggish backbone of the Trump family. Even Donald, the Cheeto-tinted charlatan that he is, has a certain translucent shamelessness to him that prevents even the dumbest of us from regarding him as anything but a man who plays dirty and embraces dirt. He’s a shitheel who knows he’s a shitheel and wants everyone to know it too. Kushner, on the other hand, looks and sounds and dresses and walks like someone who goes to Trader Joe’s for the ambiance. He’s a Subaru Outback with sentience. The kid whose nickname in high school was “Butt Plug” or “Asthma Boy.” If Donald Trump was born on third base, his bitch-ass was born in J Crew.

He’s also a slumlord. The publisher of a tabloid with a tuxedo. Completely ensconced in the criminal activities of his father-in-law’s family. Oh, and he might have committed treason. He looks like he should be asking some server somewhere for gluten-free ice chips, but he’s actually Avon Barksdale with a Lululemon charge card.

Take a good look at this soft-pedaled fuck. He is a thug. This is what a thug looks like. If you see him, cross the street. Lock your windows. Close your doors. Exit the elevator. Hide your daughters. King Kong aint got shit on him.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Giantstepp

    “And perhaps no single public figure embodies this dichotomy better than Jared Kushner, the thuggish ruggish backbone of the Trump family.”

    I see what you did here. Slick metaphor.

    And yeah, F-him.

    • Kas

      With a rusty fork

      • BrothasKeeper

        Tipped with cholera.

        • DomiMami

          Lubed with sea salt scrub.

    • Rastaman

      Damon forgot the ultimate street cred of any thug, your daddy did time in the big house too. Just so people know you not scared to get locked up.

  • He is the embodiment of every time niqqas have said “This white mothafucka…” in to the ether. The White muthafucka his here and he works for the Russians.

    • Hsquared

      Until someone decides he needs to fall on his sword. Remember, he’s not really family.

      • If there was ever was a man that could go state’s evidence, it’s that guy. He’s rich. He knows things and he’s the brain of the outfit. It would be like when Elliot Ness got the bookkeeper.

        • Geraldinejrose

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sm26c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
          ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs316DigitalShoppingGetPaid$97/Hour ????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!sm26c:….,….

        • Janelle Doe

          It is like a sequel to Usual Suspects…

        • Kenton Campbell

          That wealth is in doubt . He has a buliding here in NYC that’s become an albatross for his family , hence the back channels so he can secretly speak with the Russian banks to lowering sanctions so he can get loans to pay off the ENORMOUS loan markers for next three years…

        • Kenton Campbell

          It’s more like he’s the guy Elliot Ness got the bookkeeper for .

        • Freddargutowski

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dw57c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
          ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs347NetworkIndyGetPaid$97/Hour ????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!dw57c:….,….

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Damon, You are a national treasure.

  • Dudes like this have always been the greatest threat to public safety.

    • Jennifer

      …but his loafers.

  • Cheech

    All of this. Bravo.

  • BlackMamba, Romperstiltskin
    • Alessandro De Medici

      This is why George W. Bush wanted to ban stem cell research…

      He already knew about the failed cloning experiment of JFK.

  • BlackMamba, Romperstiltskin

    Very drunk and I love you all.

    • Val

      Drunk in the afternoon? Lol Slow down, Fella, you still have a whole holiday weekend ahead of you.

      And we lub you too!

      • AzucarNegra

        Sometimes 7 am has to become 5 pm

        • Val

          Big weekend planned, Tam?

          • AzucarNegra

            Nope. Very low keyed I got an invitation to a picnic tomorrow but am going into the office to catch up on some work. Only looking forward to sleeping late-ish on the weekend. What about you?

            • Val

              Same pretty much. I plan on reading, Netflix and an organic burger on Monday. Thas it.

              • AzucarNegra

                What are you currently reading?

                • Val

                  Kat’s book. It’s called, “Pat Greene, Her Story”

                  • AzucarNegra

                    Oh yeah, you told me you were waiting on it to arrive. Enjoy

    • LMNOP

      Hands you a water. You might not realize it now, but ideally, you want to get another 50+ years out of that liver.

      • Kas

        That would make him 73. I will be pizzed off to the highest levels of pissivity if I don’t make it to 93.

  • armed_bears

    “He’s a Subaru Outback with sentience.” You win the internets. All of them.

    • Hsquared

      “…he’s actually Avon Barksdale with a Lululemon charge card.”
      Just, WOW!

      • armed_bears

        I think ’cause I am an Oldz, the Outback was more resonant, but, yeah, WOW!

  • Val

    eah, Kushner is a thug but he’s only thugging for himself and his family. We’ve seen a lot worse. I know that Trump makes some folks all misty eyed and ish for W but lets not forget his list of thugs.

    D Cheney, bad heart and all, would have had Kushner as an appetizer before his main appetizers. Then there’s Karl Rove who thugged his way though the all 8 years of the Bush admin and is prolly still out there thugging.

    And last but definitely not least, lets not forget the biggest thug of them all Paul Wolfowitz, who makes Kushner look like little Bo Peep. Wolfowitz thugged the entire planet with his neo-con bs and got the U.S. into not one but two wars. One of which was based on a
    lie and completely unnecessary that cost hundreds of thousands of innocent lives. Now that is a thug.

    Kusher is small potatoes compared to W’s thugs and will soon be undone by his and his family’s greed.

    • I’m 90% sure I could fight Kushner and in a bar brawl and win. And make him cry a little.

      • CParis

        Yeah, but he’s such a WATB that he’d probably have his bodyguards break your legs, and with Trumpcare you won’t be able to get treated and will end up living under the overpass, mumbling to yourself.
        He’s not worth it, think of your family.

        • Leslie Streeter

          He’s like the rich punk in a John Hughes movie. He’s James Spader before James Spader was badass.

    • Janelle Doe

      Maybe, but since I don’t know what this family’s long term plans are I can’t pick a side.

      • Val

        Pick a side?

        • Janelle Doe

          As in who is worse: bush I and II versus Drumpfs

          • Danceholla

            That’s a good question, is it better or worse that the Trumps have no real values or principles? Or that they’re so reckless and incompetent?

          • Seymore Cases

            Definitely the Drumpfs. Papa Bush was a baseball star (College World Series) was the youngest pilot in the Navy when he entered WWII, was a millionaire oilman, ambassador, director of the CIA…and on and on lol. Not really fans of either Bush, but he had more talent in his left toenail than the whole Drumpf family combined.

            • Rastaman

              His father (Prescott Bush) was also a part of a conspiracy to overthrow FDR in a military coup and keep the US out of the war in Europe so that Hitler could prevail. Don’t let the resume fool you about these folks. Drumpf is a oil slick, just grimy but a diabolical scale he is more likely to swindle your grandma out of her bank account than the Bushes who would steal the whole bank.

            • JD_Challenger

              That may be true, but no matter what, Trump can’t be worse than Bush II, who’s administration dragged us into this horrible bloody current quagmire that has plagued the MidEast worse than ever with atrocious consequences. I’m no fan of trump and we all have the benefit of hindsight, but this must be true.

    • cedriclathan

      One can only hope!

    • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      That’s true.

    • Megan Blanchard

      From what I have read, Kushner is quite simply…stupid. His role is to normalize abject evil.

  • Tony Puryear
    • Do you have any family in Virginia?

      • Tony Puryear

        yes, that’s where this crazy last name comes from

        • One of my frat brothers and a former professor has this last name.

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