Lists, Pop Culture

It’s Over Now: Things You Should Give Up At Age 30

Life's a b*tch and then you die.

While meandering through the wonderful world of Twitter the other day, I happened upon a conversation with world the world-famous @areefuhstanklin and @basseyworld about fashion tips for men with no fashion taste. Admittedly, a lot of men do indeed lack a fashion sense all their own. Most of the under 25-crowd dresses like 106 & Park (does this show still come on? I actually don’t know) rejects while a lot of the 25-34 crowd has one go to club (and life) outfit: the button up shirt and blazer that Usher and Kanye West made so popular…

…in 2004.

Yes. Confessions AND The College Dropout came out nearly six years ago. Yes. You just might be old.

Thing is, it was inferred that men over age 30 shouldn’t be wearing Timberland’s anymore. And I’m assuming we’re talking the construction boot “butters”. And that is patently wrong. If you’re from the Northeast, Tims are go to shoes for doing any and everything. They’re all purpose like a motherf*cker. While they’re not as comfortable as their popularity might indicate, fact is, for most of us, they’re the non-tennis shoe, non-dress shoe of choice.

So what I’m saying is that @basseyworld was wrong. However, there are certain things that one should give up once you hit age 30. Here’s a list for those that either don’t know, don’t show, or just don’t care about being a menace to South Central (or South Los Angeles now) while drinking their juice in the hood while watching the boring ass Oscars where Zoe Saldana looks like she’s trying to become PETA’s public enemy number one.

1. Aspirations, hopes and dreams of fame and fortune if you’ve been toiling away for 10 years and you’re still only famous in your building

Look, I’m all for the belief that if you see it, you can achieve…except it’s a total lie. T-Boz’s acting job in Belly teaches us that failure is a very real option. Nas’s acting for that matter, too. More than likely, the comments section will be filled with people saying “dreams of being a rapper” and it’s true. You should not start rapping after age 27. Period. It’s tacky and I feel sorry for your mother.

2. Camouflage clothing items

Unless you are specifically called away to a combat zone by the Secretary of Defense, you look like a damn fool. Camo is generally a bad fashion statement anyway, unless you are a Que and also wear purple and gold boots – a combo that is ONLY okay if you’re a Que, kind of like pink and green – but there comes a point where there just is no good reason to put on camo. I’d wager that when rappers stop wearing is that point (like now) but I’ll give you until 30.

3. Cheap colognes and oils from the subway/Metro man

Step your grown person sh*t up and pay for a real fragrance. If you want to smell homeless, then okay, but generally cheap sh*t smells like cheap sh*t.  Go to a real counter and somebody who charges you sales tax.

4. Music that includes odd associations with something called a Wacka Flocka Flame

Wacka’s associations go all over the place from Gucci to Shawty LO to people with worse names. Basically, I’m saying that upon reaching age 30, you should give up on any music from Atlanta that doesn’t involve somebody who worked with the Dungeon Family. Word.Life.

5. Outfits that intentionally include sweat pants

Sweatpants, while all purpose, are really not going to get you too far in life. At a certain point – and yes DC, I’m looking at you – sweat pants should be used for just that, sh*t that makes you sweat. I’ve seen way too many old ass men running around in overpriced designer sweatsuits thinking that looked good. It.did.not.

6. The apostrophes in your name

You know, if you ghetto and all.

7. Dreams of f*ckin’ an R&B b*tch

Biggie dead. Your dream should be too.

That’ll do, pig.

So what else should folks be giving up when they turn 30?

Explore. Explain.

D’extra Wiley.

(Wow. Mo’Nique won!)

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://www.4everyoneelse.com KaYo

    Women…please give up Baby Phat, Apple Bottom, and anything that will have that 4th post baby gut looking like a Times Square glittered billboard.

    • 8th Wonder

      @KaYo,

      LAWD thank you. Kimora won’t even wear baby phat, so why are you??

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @8th Wonder,

        THANK YOU. It’s like these womens are out there saying, “Well, Kimora is my age and she made ‘em so it must be for me”. Um, negative.

        • overit

          @Cheekie, CO-SIGN on all this, lmao.

          In that vein, I would also like to say anyone over 30 (really even little girls) rockin Hello Kitty should perish. Yes, I’m talkin to you too Mariah, up out my face with that ish. Hello Kitty just irks me, I don’t know why.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Cheekie,

          “In that vein, I would also like to say anyone over 30 (really even little girls) rockin Hello Kitty should perish. Yes, I’m talkin to you too Mariah, up out my face with that ish. Hello Kitty just irks me, I don’t know why.”

          YES! Mariah Carey looks a RIPE plum fool rockin’ Hello Kitty. She should say goodby to Kitty…and her own sanity for that matter. Chick is disturbed.

    • Keisha Brown

      @KaYo,

      how hard can i co-sign on this without breaking keyboard or permanent marker???

      • http://www.dashofreality.wordpress.com Dash

        @Keisha Brown,
        “how hard can i co-sign on this without breaking keyboard or permanent marker???”

        *DEAD* LMAO!!!

    • OftenConfused

      @KaYo, this can not be cosigned enough. ITA

    • MsMeesh

      @KaYo,

      Co-sign 100%

      Ladies there should be NO TEXT whatsoever on your ass! You look stupid!

      • http://mysixcents.wordpress.com klysha

        @MsMeesh, I definitely want to cosign with a capital C on the no text on the a$$ comment

  • http://TheSunk.com TheHallway/TheSunk

    I really dont know what to give up when ur in your thirty’s since Im not in my thirties.

    But I know that I just start looking for my signature cologne, that one smell that captures my life in one whiff, and it just might be John Varvatos’ “Vintage” cologne. I would love some good VSB and VSS input on some good colognes excluding Gualtier, Calvin Klein, Burberry, and citrus scents. Im more of a cedar type of Negro.

    Ladies what colognes get you to turn your head or stuff your face down in the pillow when he leaves? Help a young, handsome brother with no real lingering scent out…

    • It Figures!

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,
      Whatever you wear, please, apply sparingly. Women have a keener sense of smell than men. Women are turned off by too much cologne (and perfume). A good smelling man is one that does not assault your nose. Some of the best smelling men, in my book, had on “just enough” of whatever they were wearing to get me to sniff, admiringly, and look.

      • http://TheSunk.com TheHallway/TheSunk

        @It Figures!,

        Well I already got that part down. I dont bathe in it. But I’m seeking suggested fragrances I should look into.

        • au napptural

          @TheHallway/TheSunk, Gotta be Polo Black or Desire Red. Yes, colors smell good to me.

    • bittersweet’s baby

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,

      Not yet 30, huh? Wise beyond your years, then, from what I’ve read of you…

      As for your plight, Issey Miyake never fails. They’ll wanna inhale your essence and be inspired to do God knows what!

    • Miss BXNYC

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,
      Bulgari Pour Homme, D&G The One pour Homme are good “uncommon”fragrances. lol @ Gaultier, and Calvin Klein staple frgrances you mentioned. I say go to Sephora and browse around,I’m sure you will find something to your liking there.

      • Shay

        @Miss BXNYC,
        D&G The One Pour Homme is my daytime scent.

        I actually like D&G’s whole line of colognes for men, truth be told.

    • http://www.unepetitefillenoire.blogspot.com KayBeezy

      @TheHallway/TheSunk
      Bvlgari will work wonders!

    • bajanflchick

      @TheHallway/TheSunk, Tom Ford is a really good scent & anything by the Bond No9 people…that being said also know that none of these is inexpensive , but well worth it IMO

    • lulu

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,
      Always and forever, Banana Republic Classic. My friend’s man wore this for the longest and I had no problems sniffing him on the regular.

      And yes, I know how the above sounds. We were all friends before they got together and I used to sniff him then too.

      • lulu

        @lulu,
        ps: Can’t remember if it was GQ (Kobe cover) or the Vogue mag but one of them had a cologne and perfume article. It was really good. Some rare/out of the way stuff/places so you’ll never be scent-jacked. I think a couple of spots even let you make your own.

        • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

          @lulu,

          way off topic… but i nominate a suit like Kobe had on that cover to be in every man’s closet by the time he is thirty.

          *fans self*

        • Sula

          @Muze,

          I co-sign the suit. I bought the GQ just for that… (and I despise Kobe).

    • Smiley Face

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,

      Jaipur by Boucheron….will turn my head for DAAYYYSS!!!! I don’t know what it is about it…..

    • LovelyOne

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,

      John Varvatos’ Artisan works for me! I also love Kenneth Cole’s Black as well.

      • shay

        @LovelyOne, i bought a “metro man” oil with that Kenneth Cole Black scent, and it smelled heavenly in front of the guy but once i wore it it got so stale and turned into Poison by Liz Claiborne lmao

    • miss t-lee

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,
      John Varvatos
      Escada
      Creed Irish Tweed

      You’re welcome…lol

    • MonP

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,

      Love, love, LOVE Givenchy Pi (it’s the pi symbol on the bottle)

      • Sula

        @MonP,

        That’s the SO signature scent… and yes, it is heavenly. :)

    • Keesha

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,

      You should definitely try Kenneth Cole’s Black..smells soo sexy and clean..

    • http://www.perdita-thelostmusings.blogspot.com Perdita

      @TheHallway/TheSunk, Jean Paul Gaultier LE MALE I still have flash backs on that one. *Shiver*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @TheHallway/TheSunk, this comment is just the gift that keeps on givin’ eh? so far i’ve learned more about colognes than i ever cared to.

      i just wear my natural scent: sexxy.

      mostly that’s cuz i have no clue how to properly apply cologne. i get offended when folks way to zestfully clean all day so i’d hate to offend myself smelling like skunk ass all day.

    • Plain Ole Peyso

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,

      I’m under 30 too. John Varvatos is good for all of his scents. I’d recommend getting the trial pack from Sephora where you can try a few different things. Remember that you have to get one that matches your natural scent and the soap that you use

      • miss t-lee

        @Plain Ole Peyso,
        To piggyback off your comment. Sephora lets you get samples of anything, as many samples as you want. This is a great way to try stuff out to see how it works with your body chemistry before you drop change on it.

    • Ivyette

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,

      Code (for men) by Armani. This smells heavenly on a guy. Panties will be thrown at you as you pass by.

      • Humble_One

        @Ivyette,

        “Code (for men) by Armani. This smells heavenly on a guy. Panties will be thrown at you as you pass by.”

        *goes to mall to purchase 2 bottles*

        • Ivyette

          @Humble_One,

          If I had better aim, I just might throw a pair of mine to you. :)

      • miss t-lee

        @Ivyette,
        Co-sign. That code is so serious!

        • Ivyette

          @miss t-lee,

          So true. I have a bottle of the one for women, but the cologne is soooooo niiiiiiice.

    • word of mouth

      @TheHallway/TheSunk, Polo Blue and the Jean Paul Gaultier (the kind that comes in the bottle shaped like a man’s torso).

      I MUST say though, if I like a man, I’ll often prefer for him to just smell like soap or something. Sometimes men just smelling clean and manly is more of a turn-on than being drenched in some over-priced cologne (*side-eye at Diddy’s I Am King, smelling like new car infused with foot-and-ass*)

    • Dee

      @TheHallway/TheSunk, Paris Hilton for Men. No, really. I straight up yanked this guy in the bar and demanded to know what he had on (and no I wasn’t drunk. yet)

      • Dee

        @Dee, oh and I love Neutrogena for men body wash, but it’s hard to find.

        • Sula

          @Dee,

          Neutrogena for men body wash

          My local walmart carries it… I think the bigger the store, the more likely you will be to find it.

    • Yeah…SO!?!

      @TheHallway/TheSunk, One of my “boos in queue” wears True Religion… Seriously wanted to bite his neck off… SERIOUSLY- delicious

    • Sula

      @TheHallway/TheSunk,

      Gualtier, Calvin Klein, Burberry

      Why are you excluding those finer perfurmeurs? They don’t make only one scent, you know… :)

      • http://TheSunk.com TheHallway/TheSunk

        @Sula,

        Cuz I’ve pretty much dealt with em I want sumthin new. Gualtier doesnt go with my natural scent. My cuz is has the Burberry. And I know what Calvin Klein I like.

    • http://TheSunk.com TheHallway/TheSunk

      @Everyone,

      Thanks for all the cologne advice. I might as well just print this page out. N take it to the dept. store with me

  • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetztalk

    Cant cosign on the music post. Wacka Focka Flame may be a new move by Dhalsim in Street Fighter, but his music entertains, like most southern rap!

    I havent worn real camoflage shyt since the turn of the last decade either….

    I think what you need to add is the wearing of any durags. This should only be condoned if you are in jail or attempting to get waves (which you may want to give up too).

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Streetztalk, Cant cosign on the music post. Wacka Focka Flame may be a new move by Dhalsim in Street Fighter, but his music entertains, like most southern rap!

      his music does entertain. that’s true. but my point is you shouldn’t be out there seeking and searching for the newest Wacka. lol.

      • http://twitter.com/streetztalk Streetztalk

        @Panama Jackson, LOLOL There’s some people who would say that you shouldn’t seek out some of the old stuff cats listen to either.

        So should dudes/chicks over 30 not seek out Drake? Cudi? J. Cole?

        Now I know your ish was sattire, lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Streetztalk, not Cudi. cuz his album was trash. and i’m still not sold on J.Cole. he can rap but i aint really feeling him.

          so yeah, Drake it is. everybody should listen to Drake.

          • http://coolbreezej.wordpress.com CoolBreezeJ

            I’m sorry… I’m going to have to respectfully disagree here. Drake falls under the “should not be listened to beyond 30″ category. Right up to “So Far Gone,” he was (ageless) quality, but since then… Well, it’s just very difficult to come up with something worthwhile to say when you are putting out songs and features every five minutes. He needs to go back to taking time in between to gather his thoughts. *chuckle*

            • Anthony

              I come from music as my father was a DJ for 22 years and I briefly followed in his steps until he advise me to try something different… I truly love all genres of music, rap being the first but these last 4 to 5 years my collection is far beyond Hip Hop & R&B. (Black Male-31, Six-figure income now). Drake’s music speaking strictly on his 2 Albums not all the features. This guy reminds me of my life just before I transition into a successful career and how things (Women, Friends, & Family) changed after the money. Their plenty of Rags to Rich rappers but drake is more like Middle class to Business Class on my third passport type of story… J Cole is from my state Fayetteville NC in my opinion he will raise the bar by his third album… Now if you like J. Cole check out C-Weav from my hometown New Bern, NC. What I like most about these two NC rappers both are educated at the college level, I don’t want any children my mine thinking they don’t need education to make it….

  • Leila

    “Aspirations, hopes and dreams of fame and fortune if you’ve been toiling away for 10 years and you’re still only famous in your building”

    haha. Big co-sign!!! I see too many guys in their 30s who are trying to launch rap careers.

    • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

      @Leila,

      What if one is not trying to launch their rap career, but have been actually ‘paying dues’ for say a decade? Should he just drop it and quit?

      Has anyone ever considered the fact that the reason why a lot of us don’t relate to the rap music of today is ’cause it’s made by the teens and folks in their twenties? Maybe we’d like it more if there were more 30-something emcees coming out rappin’ about shyt we can relate to.

      • bittersweet’s baby

        @Monk,
        What if one is not trying to launch their rap career, but have been actually ‘paying dues’ for say a decade? Should he just drop it and quit?

        Pretty much. I’d say a decade is a great cut-off point for him to start exploring Plans B – Z.

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

          @bittersweet’s baby,

          If they’re working full time in another field to pay their bills, why not pursue your dreams in your spare time?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Monk,

          i figured somebody would go this road, which is specifically why i put it up there.

          i think as a hobbyist you can do anything you want for as long as you want. i’m saying putting all your eggs in that one basket. or at least that’s my thinking. if your ass is 37 STILL on some, “i’m just one song away i got to go to the studio again tonight. those bills will all get paid when i finally hit it big…”

          you need to just damn quit.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Panama,

          o_O @ your above post with all the lowercases.

          Did Champ hack into your account, Panda?

        • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

          @Cheekie

          LOL i thought i was the only one who could tell who wrote the post by capitalization style. wow.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Cheekie and Muze, i rarely capitalize my comments. my posts always have proper capitalization. but comments? i’m too lazy for all those extra key strokes just to make something uppercase.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Panama Jackson,

          “i rarely capitalize my comments.”

          On the real? I never noticed. And I thought I had ya’ll pegged.

      • Sula

        @Monk,

        I agree with you. Nobody should give up their dreams, if they have found a way to live/survive while doing it as an aside. Artists (real ones) will be artists regardless, so whether they make it “big” or not, they will (and should) be doing their thing…

      • Leila

        @Monk, “What if one is not trying to launch their rap career, but have been actually ‘paying dues’ for say a decade? Should he just drop it and quit?”

        I don’t think a person should quit, more like be realistic. Everyone should pursue their passion, but doing it full-time for many years and not having a plan B is different than part-time. I’m thinking about a friend’s ex who’s been pursuing a rap career forever. He’s 38 now and still doesn’t have a real job, no real income, because he still thinks he’s gonna blow up anyday now. This is someone who should pursue something else and rap part-time.

      • Anthony

        Co-Sign… The Age merit seems to only apply to Hip Hop, what about Rock, Jazz, Dance, Techno, Blues, Reggae, Soul, Contempaorary, Alternative, POP. Age seems to just be a number in other genres.. Think on That Hip Hop a genres that has merged & crosslines in other genres should be aged capped… If you rapping and your 30 or 40 and you dont live home with your Mother or the homies.. Do It…

  • http://sugarysweetdelusionsofgrandeur.blogspot.com/ TLC

    “Aspirations, hopes and dreams of fame and fortune if you’ve been toiling away for 10 years and you’re still only famous in your building”

    I kinda disagree….I mean the 40 year old rapper may need to call it a day, but plenty of actors, writers, and film-makers didn’t really become household names until they passed the 20-10 mark

    and this

    “Outfits that intentionally include sweat pants”

    I’d SO prefer to see an older man in sweat pants than his old school “player” look, including gray braids that start waaayyyy back there somewhere (yeah I’m looking at you Charlie Wilson)…but I guess that’s just me.

    • charli skipper

      @TLC,

      “I kinda disagree….I mean the 40 year old rapper may need to call it a day, but plenty of actors, writers, and film-makers didn’t really become household names until they passed the 20-10 mark ”

      cosign completely.

      • postmodern pwnage

        @charli skipper, i agree. it really depends on your craft. an aspiring model/dancer at 30? errm not a good look, but the writers/film makers/actors get a pass. Certain artistic venues are rift with ageism, while others not so much. Then again, you can dream big all you want, as long as we dont give up our day jobs past the age of 30. Waitress/actress label is only trendy in your 20′s.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @postmodern pwnage, Then again, you can dream big all you want, as long as we dont give up our day jobs past the age of 30. Waitress/actress label is only trendy in your 20’s.

          i think this is my main point. good job, plato.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @postmodern pwnage,

          I agree that it depends on the aspiration. I mean, being an “aspiring writer” for a long time is one thing, but being an “aspiring Siegfried & Roy doppelganger act” is entirely another.

    • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

      @TLC,

      Yeah, I still pride myself in being able to go from dress suit to sweat suit at ease and rock both really well.

      • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

        @Monk, I actually like the fact that you can wear sweat suit to a dress suit. I think when your over 30 this should be something a man should can pull off. I do love to see a men in sweats and a hoodie. Also for him to be able to put on a suit or a dress shirt and jeans. That is sexy to me!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @TLC, I kinda disagree….I mean the 40 year old rapper may need to call it a day, but plenty of actors, writers, and film-makers didn’t really become household names until they passed the 20-10 mark

      you’re so sweet. as long as their are other means for living then ok. cool. hell, technically i need to stop writing my various screenplays, sketch shows, and treatises on world peace. but, i recognize that right now it’s a hobby.

      to each his own. keep on pushing.

      and the old school playa outfit is where its at. i have 7 of them lined up for when i turn 60.

    • mssmtaylor

      @TLC,
      omgawdt lol..Charlie is like 100 aint he?

  • http://thecochranfirm.wordpress.com/ Dash

    “Aspirations, hopes and dreams of fame and fortune if you’ve been toiling away for 10 years and you’re still only famous in your building”

    I give writers a pass on this, as unlike music, writing is not necessarily a young person’s game.

    It may be a regional thing, but Timbs have not been acceptable gear for me since the late 90s.

    The Tall-T and/or The Race Car Jacket. Get a grown man shirt, with buttons. If you are not getting paid to be plastered with logos, you should not be wearing those jackets. I never got that trend.

    Sports jerseys outside of sporting events, or sporting event viewing get togethers. I have never been a fan of the jersey.

    Colorful hair. I judge teens harshly if they have purple and blue hair, an adult will be held in special contempt for rocking green weaves that match their outfit.

    • DG

      @Dash,

      “The Tall-T and/or The Race Car Jacket. Get a grown man shirt, with buttons. If you are not getting paid to be plastered with logos, you should not be wearing those jackets”
      I’m with you on this…I never understood the reasoning behind it all. Cats down here are taking it one step further with the logos thing tho’…entire cars are being turned into rolling billboards. I’ve seen everything from Cheerios-themed Buicks to John Deere Caprices….

      • bittersweet’s baby

        @DG,

        Are you in Atlanta? Cuz I’ve seen the Clorox and Tide cars -complete with the empty bottles bouncin behind – as the owner proudly pushes thru the neighborhood. No clue why they have the time, money or inclination to give such an ode to their favorite cleaning products.

        • DG

          @bittersweet’s baby,
          “Cuz I’ve seen the Clorox and Tide cars -complete with the empty bottles bouncin behind – as the owner proudly pushes thru the neighborhood.”

          The image of this is both amusing and terribly depressing at the same time (I’m in SC, btw)

      • http://thecochranfirm.wordpress.com/ Dash

        @DG,
        There is this cat who gets plenty of women with his M&M themed whip. I have seen a lot of them based on cartoon characters and muppets like Spongebob, Big Bird, Elmo, and my personal favorite crazy whip Megatron.

        • DG

          @Dash,
          I’ve seen several Spongebobs…haven’t seen a Megatron, tho’. Round these parts, you see alot of candy and cereal themes…Reeses buttercups, CoCo puffs, Wheaties, etc.

      • miss t-lee

        @DG,
        I’ve seen 2 kats here with the logos on their cars. One was M&M’s, the other Whoppers.
        Yep…lmao

        • 8th Wonder

          @miss t-lee,

          The skittles whip in ATL was my fave.

          Always loved me some skittles.

        • miss t-lee

          @ 8th Wonder,
          :)

          When I saw the 2 kats on the highway on two separate occasions I was like, “well…okay then.”.

      • shay

        @DG, theres a Starbucks Frappochino joint in my hood.

        • Made In Hawaii

          @shay,
          “theres a Starbucks Frappochino joint in my hood.”
          Okay, this one here officially did it but really, this whole conversation has made me hungry….

      • Wuyoung Agent of M.E.

        @DG,
        In Charleston I’ve seen a few pink Dora the Explorer themed rides, a Hennessy, Crown Royal, and more than a few Gamecock cars.
        Where in SC are you located?

        • DG

          @Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,

          O’burg, folk….I was just down your way this weekend.

          Dora the explorer, huh? Gotta give it to cats for being creative, I guess.

        • Yeah…SO!?!

          @Wuyoung Agent of M.E., Dora the Explorer? o_O That’s just ridiculous!

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,

          lmfao…I saw a Dora the Explorer ride too. I mean, I guess they feel they’re being creative, but it’s creatively stupid. Riding a Cheetos car? Giving out free advertisement? Eff your entire life and the horse you rode in on.

      • Wuyoung Agent of M.E.

        @DG,

        Yes, the Dora car was one of the most tragic things I’ve ever seen in my life. It was a Chevy Malibu on 18′s. It’s almost as if I’m in a Gucci Mane video. I’m from Allendale orginally so most of my life has been a very long Gucci Mane video.

        • DG

          @Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
          Used to work in Barnwell and Allendale a while back (some good ppl down there tho’), so I understand the Gucci Mane comparison. Sadly, the same can be said for much of SC in general.

        • Sula

          @Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,

          I’m from Allendale orginally so most of my life has been a very long Gucci Mane video.

          *dead*

      • Wuyoung Agent of M.E.

        @DG,

        Allendale has a ton of good people but no leadership. SC is f**ked from top to bottom. You should check out the episode of “Gangland” on History Channel about those cats in Columbia. Blissfully ignorant.

    • ThatAfriChic

      “Colorful hair. I judge teens harshly if they have purple and blue hair, an adult will be held in special contempt for rocking green weaves that match their outfit.”

      Ooh, Ron Artest is lucky he’s still got 8 more months to get that colored hair out off his system!

      • http://thecochranfirm.wordpress.com/ Dash

        @ThatAfriChic,
        Artest gets a pass because he is awesome. He even has me tolerating The Lakers.

        • Sula

          @Dash,

          I was so mad when he left us. *single tear*

          But he is so unapologetically himself, he gets a pass for EVERYTHING. :)

    • bittersweet’s baby

      @Dash,

      I’m with you all day (Well, except for the Timbs. All NYers are required to have a pair.) But basically, a grown man should have a grown man’s wardrobe. He needs no specific reason other than that to have multiple blazers, slacks and hard sole shoes. Please and thank you.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Dash, It may be a regional thing, but Timbs have not been acceptable gear for me since the late 90s.

      i wil be rocking my Tims when i’m 98 years old. STILL not tying the laces cuz i don’t run from nobody.

      • Made In Hawaii

        @Panama Jackson,

        and ppl gone say, “Why that old man got on his grandson’s shoes? Po’ thang couldn’t even reach over and tie them….”
        :)

      • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

        @Panama Jackson, I love a man in tims! This is why I always have a soft spot for men in the northeast espeacially NYC. I was raised in the south so men did not wear Tims they wore Polo boots. Now Polo boots are hot too, but there is something about Tims. Tims and a hoodies are sooo sexy to me. Keep wearing your Tims! Panama!

    • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

      @Dash,

      cosign this whole post. …except for the Timbs. i think they’re sexy on east coaster men. otherwise no. lol

      even back when those ridiculous jackets were popular, i’d turn my nose up and pretend to be deaf if someone wearing one tried to get my attention.

      yep. i’m bad-taste prejudiced. lol

      • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

        @Muze, Me too Muze I though it was just me lol!

  • P.

    “T-Boz’s acting job in Belly teaches us that failure is a very real option. Nas’s acting for that matter, too.”

    You mean Nas’s persistent pleas of “Yo god, let’s go back to Africa god” weren’t enough to convince you?

    Man, I copped Belly from the $5 bin at Walmart a few months ago because a) I thought it was cool the only time I saw it when I was like 11, and b) it was five dollars. Popped it in while stuck in the house one day and was in awe at how mindblowingly terrible it was. I actually hate this movie the more I write about it, so I’ll just stop here before I kill somebody.

    • http://thecochranfirm.wordpress.com/ Dash

      @P.,
      The story goes that the studio hacked the script up as they went along because of budget considerations. I know there had to be a reason, that it made absolutely no sense. For years I thought it was just me, and I was an idiot for not being able to follow the narrative.

    • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

      @P.,

      The movie as a story sucked, but the opening sequence (THE BEST OF ALL TIME) is worth the $5 alone.

      • Yeah…SO!?!

        @Monk, *nod* love that opening… (that’s what he said- haha)

    • luvtheshoes

      @P.,

      My best friend’s favorite movie is Belly. I haven’t ever seen it but knowing the cast I was prepared for the worst and didn’t want to watch it and have my estimation of her go down. Glad you’ve confirmed the worst for me.

      • P.

        @luvtheshoes,

        I think it’s time for a new best friend.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @P., gonna have to disagree with you there bucko.

      VSB P states that Belly is not really a movie, but the greatest long-form music video ever created. If you watch it from that perspective, it’s really a great-great piece of cinematic artistry and cultural denouement.

      • Yeah…SO!?!

        @Panama Jackson, “denouement”… well look at you… too bad you used such a great word defending this trash

      • P.

        @Panama Jackson,

        I cringed at the fact that you used some variant of the word “great” three times while talking about Belly.

    • 8th Wonder

      @P.,

      I have to agree. I saw it in Wal-Mart for $7 and was like “Woooow, haven’t seen that cinematic masterpiece since college, must buy it now!”

      Got home and was like “OMG, why is the worst movie ever ever made?”

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @8th Wonder, that’s your fault for not recognizing good cinema.

        • ThatOneAKA

          what’s sad is that I’m actually from Omaha and everytime I meet folk they always ask if the city is really like it is in Belly. *shaking head* when that hot garbage first came out, I couldn’t watch all of it then and certainly couldn’t tolerate it now. AND it just gives my hometown such a bad look :(

  • http://www.twitter.com/hipployta Siobhan

    I can’t support the sweatsuit thing….my Parents, in South Carolina, are about to be 50 and they wear matching sweatsuits LOL.

    Or maybe that’s something you can do again when you’re older.

    I’m not 30 yet but the giving up on being a rapper thing…yeah that is the truth. Though you can hit as an actor after 30…

    • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

      @Siobhan,

      I find it kinda interesting that a lot of VSB’s and S’s think one should give up any aspirations to be a rapper at the age of 30. What if it’s a hobby of yours (as it is to me, well actually I just write)? Should one not pursue being an R&B, gospel, rock, or country singer just because they’ve been on the planet for 30+ years also? What about producer or DJ?

      If you’re not making any money off of it, of course as an adult you should be pulling in other income to make ends meet, but I can’t co-sign on killing someone’s dreams at what is relatively a young age of 30.

      • Smiley Face

        @Monk,

        I’m kinda guessing from your comments that you are over 30 and rapping? You’re reaalllyyy pleading your case here, lol.

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

          @Smiley Face,

          Ha! I write and I wouldn’t mind ghost-writing for a few cats because quality lyrics are kinda at an low-point right now.

          I do however have a friend in Detroit who’s over thirty, with a full-time job, and raps and do shows at night and I don’t see anything wrong with that. If it’s not detrimental to anything, why stop?

        • deviant

          @Monk,

          But did he START at 30? Or has he been doing his thing for a while?

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

          @Deviant,

          He’s always been a musician and has been pusuing it since his early twenties.

      • Smiley Face

        @Monk,
        “If it’s not detrimental to anything, why stop?”

        I agree…especially if you can bring a new level.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Monk, as long as you pulling down real ends in other means, then great. hell, i write on occasion and have still been recording songs because I get a kick out of it. however, if you met me and asked me what i did for a living i wouldnt start it with, “well, i’m a rapper. but i have a real estate company on the side to keep the studio bills paid, ya dig? THIRD WARD BITCHES!”

        • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

          @Panama Jackson,

          Ha! I feel you. I’m a rapper AND I’m gangsta, but I’m not a gangsta rapper.

      • http://www.twitter.com/hipployta Siobhan

        @Monk,

        I more talking about people who ONLY rap and aren’t making any headway. I have plenty of friends who rap IN ADDITION to their jobs that provide their income. For that dude who is like…rap is going to be the way I make money at 35 (and I know a few) it is far past time to stop.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Siobhan, I can’t support the sweatsuit thing….my Parents, in South Carolina, are about to be 50 and they wear matching sweatsuits LOL.

      i think that around 50 the door opens up for any and everything you ever wanted to do. i plan on doing the church socks and basketball shorts and dress shoes thing when i turn 50. i also plan on rockign a straw hat and a wifebeater while chewing on sunflower seeds in this very ensemble. i’m so excited about it.

      • Made In Hawaii

        @Panama Jackson,

        You’re just gonna be a “special” old man ain’t you? LOL!

        It’s cool though. Most ppl are never excited about becoming an old person or senior citizen but like yourself, I’m absolutely thrilled about being 50 and older. I also plan how I’m going to dress, wear my hair and just carry myself in my golden years & beyond…

      • http://www.twitter.com/hipployta Siobhan

        @Panama Jackson,

        You’re going to be a like that professor that is extremely dapper and does whatever right? What is his name…

    • ohcoya

      @Siobhan,

      Ten years should be the limit on grinding in the studio. It’s kind of like an entry on your credit report; at some point it needs to fall off.

      And a closet with a first generation mac and egg crates is not a studio. I repeat it is NOT a studio.

  • http://blackgirlunscripted.wordpress.com Anike Love

    Men over 30 should give up:

    1) Cornrows or plaits of any kind (unless of course you’re Snoop, then you get a pass) and unkempt locks. If you’re still trying to rock cornrows with a receding hairline, or pay the teenage girl next door to tighten them up, there’s an issue. And if you can’t keep your locks neatly beeswaxed and rolled, then there’s an issue and maybe you shouldn’t have them.

    2) Trying to to find future wifey at a club Better yet, if you’re still a weekly visitor to the club, there might be an issue. Seriously, when you’re a baker’s dozen older than some of the girls that might be in there, it’s time to bow out. At 30, you should have figured out other ways to meet women. And if you haven’t, then there’s an issue.

    • http://www.twitter.com/hipployta Siobhan

      @Anike Love,

      YES! COSIGN ON NIXING THE OVER 30 CLUB WIFING!

      I had to go to a club to hand out flyers for a show I’m walking in last night. It was a “Grown and Sexy in Black” party. Why did I think GnS was like 25 and over? It is 40 and over dudes trying to get at 25 year old chicks…wow.

    • bittersweet’s baby

      @Anike Love,

      Yeah, I got mad love for the Barbershop patrons. Just let go of the cornrows altogether. Likewise, I’m gonna need women to stop tryna catch their rough edges and force em down with a half jar of gel & jam. Callin’ it baby hair…

    • ComicBookGuy

      @Anike Love,

      Cosign on the cornrows. If you are over 30 and you rock cornrows, you are either a pimp, an out of work pimp or just as sorry @$$ ninja altogether. I really cannot stand that.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Anike Love, 2) Trying to to find future wifey at a club Better yet, if you’re still a weekly visitor to the club, there might be an issue. Seriously, when you’re a baker’s dozen older than some of the girls that might be in there, it’s time to bow out. At 30, you should have figured out other ways to meet women. And if you haven’t, then there’s an issue.

      eh…i think that if you don’t read books (and thereby are probably short on Internet acumen) you might as well go the club to meet women. as long as you go to the 21 and up clubs. you shouldn’t be at 18 to chill, 21 to spill clubs.

  • http://victoriainkenya.blogspot.com/ ViK

    1) Clubbin’ every weekend needs to stop at 30. Get some grown man/grown woman hobbies.

    2) Forever 21 is a brand name, not a promise

    3) Your dreams of marrying a NBA player. I cry that you had that dream to begin with

    4) I know it’s a recession, but if I ask what you do for a living “real niggaz do real things” is the wrong answer. This is the perfect time to lie, pretend you had a real job, and say you got laid off.

    5) Get off MySpace

    • Superior Motherload

      @ViK,
      LOL, At Forever 21

    • charli skipper

      @ViK,

      lol. you’re silly. and correct.

    • Keisha Brown

      @ViK,

      *coma @ Forever 21 being a brand and not a promise.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @ViK, 1) Clubbin’ every weekend needs to stop at 30. Get some grown man/grown woman hobbies.

      what if the hobby is “club observationating” kind of like bird watching but you just go to clubs and observe the drapes and layout?

      btw, welcome and sh*t

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @ViK, 4) I know it’s a recession, but if I ask what you do for a living “real niggaz do real things” is the wrong answer. This is the perfect time to lie, pretend you had a real job, and say you got laid off.

      man, i TOTALLY should be have been saying that every time i get asked. dammit. i need to makee somebody ask me that today at Quizno’s.

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @ViK,

      “2) Forever 21 is a brand name, not a promise”

      They should seriously consider this as their slogan because it is the bomb.

    • Made In Hawaii

      @ViK,

      I agree w/ it all but the Forever 21 comment got me over here trying to contain my laughter in my office.

    • word of mouth

      @ViK, COSIGN!!!

      “Real ninjas do real things” = “I’m touch-and-go with my Metro PCS bill, I keep my food stamps in the back pocket of my COOCI jeans (couldn’t afford the G), and I’d be glad to take you to Denny’s in my man’s 1993 Ford Fiesta.”

      Oh, and my soul left its earthly vessel at “Forever 21 is a brand name, not a promise.” How about if you’re old enough to bear children, get the hell out of Rave and G+G (stores that really are going to burn in Disney Hell for even being in existence anyway — people with consciences should not sell fishnet belly tops in size 14000XXXL).

      • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db49c1a2fca1f481e908a155f341ccd0.png RocktheCatbox

        @word of mouth,
        Umm the real ninja excuse is up there with stating “i’m a boss” (side eye to Fantasia’s deadbeat brother) as your job.

        Damn I still get tank tops/tees for the gym and dangly earrings from forever 21 from time to time (come on, they’re like 5 bucks!!), lol and my mom is 62 and got linen pants and a halter top from there. She looks 40!! I swear!!
        Don’t tell anyone about that.

        • Sula

          @RocktheCatbox,

          Heck, I actually get a great deal of clothing from Forever 21… and my friends who are always posted at Saks 5th avenue do ask me where I got this top or the other. I am a frugal shopper so I will look every and anywhere to find something I like…

          I still possess Forever 21 tops (in good shape) that I bought in college 10 years ago… If you hand wash them, like they recommand, they’ll last. :)

          Not one shade of shame in my Forever 21 game. :lol:

        • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

          @RocktheCatbox, Exactly the stuff is crazy cheap. Girl I go to forever 21 to get ear rings too lol. Also I get their head bands because they are really cute. Now when I go I am feel like I am too old to be here lol.

    • http://www.twitter.com/hipployta Siobhan

      @ViK,

      Get off MySpace LOL…