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Last week (and apparently entering into this week) was a good time for mankind.
Cassie has flown like an eagle, Rihanna’s come out of rehab, and now Hoopz is playing with balls and letting the world watch the game.
Yay, Internets.
By the way, if you have no idea what I’m talking about then you must somehow avoid all internet contact at all times – amazing considering you’re reading this right now.
Those pics and now Hoopz video clip have seen more hits than Rihanna Tina Turner a punching bag.
(And no, I’m not providing links to any of those pictures or video. This site is PG. Google is your friend.)
Now as a red-blooded male, I’m more than appreciative of full on female nudity in any form. I mean, the whole point of male existence – in a nutshell – is to procure female nudity. It’s necessary for the survival of the species. It’s even better when its women whose buckeynekkidness you’ve actually pondered. And who hasn’t wanted to get under Rihanna’s umbrella –ella-ella aye aye aye.
Man that is one outdated joke. Aye carumba.
Well the leaking of said nudey pics and the apparent broken dam of celebt*tty pictures that are more than likely to venture our way got me to thinking about something very pontificatious. You see, despite my love for the female form, there are actually women I have no desire to ever see in the buff.
Like ever.
Forever ever??
Forever ever.
And who might the mighty-ighty-ighty P not want to see au naturale??
Thought you’d never ask.
Beyonce – Sure she’s hot as South Hades, but truthfully, she’s not even all that sexxy to me, unless she’s soaking wet. I’ve long contended that wet women look way better than dry women (and take that as you want – heh heh heh). And God forbid a chex tap were to surface. You know what that would mean, right? It would be her and JayZ. I don’t ever want to see Bey and Jay bumpin’ literal uglies. Plus, what do you think: just how boring would that tape be anyway? She seems like a robot and he’s just getting more obnoxiously detached. It could be the actual definition video of “watching paint dry.”
Kelis – I know she has a tape out there (poor Nas – first Carmen, now Kelis) floating and what not but I’ve just never found her to be attractive. At all. She also seems to have that Mariah problem where she has to stand certain ways in videos to craft the illusion of derrierosity. Put it this way, if she’s got milkshakes, I’ll just take a Sprite.
Lil Kim – I’m almost afraid to see this. In fact, I’ll assume Lil Kim is to me what Michael Jackson is to most women – ^%$%&^#^*#(*&*)$#$. Yeah, whatever that means to you, that’s what Lil Kim is to me. Yech.
Wendy Williams/Wanda Sykes/Star Jones – They’re pretty much the same behemoth unattractive wildebeast to me and at the zoo you can’t touch the animals. You’re also not supposed to take pictures of certain animals as it may excite and agitate them. That’s how I view them – the kind of animals you just shouldn’t take certain pictures of.
Oprah Winfrey – Steadman doesn’t even want to see her nude so you KNOW Panama doesn’t.
Whoopi Goldberg – I’m just not into eyebrowless pr0n, ya know?
I know I’m gonna catch flak for this but…
Michelle Obama – I don’t care what you say, she’s not hot. Nice rump, but I have NO desire to ever see her Presidential tail. Plus, it might singlehandedly set back Black people 2000 years. Hell, it too 2009 years post Hayseuss to see a Black man get inaugurated, the LAST thing we’d need is a scandal showing Michelle Obama in dirty pics with the pool boy because Obama was on TV making ANOTHER damn speech. That’s my new campaign: Keep The Presidential Knockers Under Wraps.
That’s a mere smattering of women I’d never want to see in the buff – ever. Good people of VSB, who would you (male or female) never want to see a la mode??
-VSB P aka TANGLE JIG P aka THE ARSONIST aka YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD 3
I pretty much agree. The Beyonce thing though for me has to do with the fact that she is sooo bad that I don’t need to see here au natural. And Wanda Sykes, um I wouldn’t mind taking a peek. As long as she’s not talking.
@Jaybilal,
id watch a sykes sex tape just out of curiosity out of what she’d say.
@The Champ,
LOL. That stupid voice makes everything she says sound like a set up for a joke. I’m sure we’d get more laughs out of her tape than any of her unfunny standup routines. It could be a classic!
@The Champ,
that’s actually a very good point, i’d watch for the very same reason. It would be so bad it be good!
@Jaybilal,
“The Beyonce thing though for me has to do with the fact that she is sooo bad that I don’t need to see here au natural. ”
agreed, seeing beyonce get her pamela anderson on would be like (as i’ve been told) chex on ecstacy, they say after doing it that way, regular just won’t do anymore.
“regular” poon is just fine, thank you ma’am
however, from the way bey performs on stage i am just a bit curious to see her in action, i just pray she’s not a talker…
@Carver The Great!,
So you think Beyonce got this Platinum Love Pocket that makes men whimper?
@Luvvie,
yes, my research has shown that quiet girls that talk bad and dance good have incredible kooter.
@Carver The Great!,
heehee… he said “kooter”.
@Carver The Great!,
preeeeeech brotha
@Carver The Great!,
let the chuuch say amen.
Bond. BlkBond.
@Carver The Great!,
i just pray she’s not a talker
You better hope she not.
hahahha
I dont want so any ones s.e.x tape to afraid it will ruin the fantasy….
Panama u better stop talking about my Michelle like that b4 i sick the secret service on u, but anywho i’d say it would prob be quite horrid to see Larry King, Joan Rivers, Cherri from the view, or Donald trump in the buff, those are the ones that come immediately to mind. oh also dick cheney…that would be super gross
i need not see wanda sykes munching carpet or any other fabric we cover our floors in.
@jana.love,
You just gave me the worst visual of the night.
Thank you very much.
@Lili,
lol, yeah. the carpet in my office seems icky now
@jana.love,
Wanda Sykes is asexual. Like Whoopi Goldberg.
@Luvvie,
ironically, wanda sykes is an aka
@Carver The Great!,
Uh oh.
@Carver The Great!,
Welp… F their Lives lol. The AKAs prolly feel like I felt when I found out Chamillionaire is Nigerian. I wants NO part of that
@Luvvie, LMAOOOOOOOOOO!
Humh.
1. Sean Combs
2. My daddy (Yeah Diddy is higher on the list than my daddy)
3. Any of my friends’ husbands
4. Any adult man who looks 17 months pregnant
5. Lavar Burton (even though I’m following him on Twitter)
6. (For good measure) THREES!! I had to! I just had to!!!
*jazz hands*
@Hostess, Good. U made me not feel bad for following Lavar Burton on twitter
@Peyso,
This is funny as hell to me. What could Kunta be possibly tweeting of interest? Reading Rainbow BEEN done!
@Me fail english?,
*howling* i lurved reading rainbow! take a look, it’s in a book, reading rainboooooooooooow….but yeah, what levar talking ’bout?
@Me fail english?,
lmbao from roots to reading rainbow to star trek he gets money lol
@Hostess,
I agree, there is nothing worse than a man with a big round belly!
@Hostess,
LMFAO @ Levar Burton. And ew, as well. I’m now picturing him saying, “What’s yo name, boy?!”.
UGH.
@Cheekie, Honestly, I don’t pay much attention but when I saw him on there (I didn’t go looking for him), I felt like following him was the RIGHT thing to do. He was Toby for goodness sakes. AND, I need all the Black-points I can get cus my membership is currently listed as ‘Up for Review’.
No nudie pics/videos for the following:
1.) Dennis Rodman (though we’ve damn near seen all of his shyt)
2.) Lance Armstrong (one b*ll makes me nervous)
3.) Monique (she’s funny but….)
4.) Mike Tyson (what other weird tats does he have?)
5.) Any of the Flavor of Love/I Love New York/Ray J b*tches (and they’re all b*thches male or female)
6.) AI/D-Wade/KG (I prefer my fantasies)
7.) Micheal Jackson/Prince (ewwwww, though I LOVE Prince)
8.) RuPaul (head shaking vigorously)
9.) Flavor Flav/New York/Ray J (the reality shows were desperate enough)
10.) Barack Obama (see below)
I totally agree with the Michelle comment. Though I think she’s pretty (I’d give her a 7 based on looks alone but who and what she is – professional, classy, great mom, etc easily makes her as a total package an 8.75-9) however, based on her stature in society, the position she’s in, and who/what she represents I don’t want to see any nudie/swimsuit/”adult” pics or videos with her and/or her husband.
@Madame Zenobia,
i gagged a little bit at the thought of Prince getting it in. and by “a little bit” i mean i straight up vomited. although i bet he’d do his little “owwww!” right at the climax and somehow make that ish comedy….
@MZ, I don’t need to create a list i agree with your list whole heatedly the only person missing is Al Rocker. (for obvious reasons.)
@puff, I dont know, I was surprised when I saw Purple Rain. Prince actually convinced me he was (at some point at least) heterosexual. I was a lil jealous of Appolonia for a minute.
@puff,
is it jus me but do prince look like rhiana i mean they even have the same hair cut
@BLUNTBLAZER, LMAO! Maybe they are actually the same person
@klysha,
I’ve always thought Micheal & LaToya Jackson were the same person. Think about it, when was the last time you saw the two of them in the same place at the same time?
@Madame Zenobia,
I agree, Michelle’s stature elevates her on the ‘scale’ but I don’t think she’s pretty. She’s not fugly, not by any means. She’s average looking.
@Madame Zenobia,
“4.) Mike Tyson (what other weird tats does he have?)”
Plus he has big girly hips now – no can’t dew!
@Madame Zenobia, Just looking at Dennis Rodman makes me feel like I’ve caught something. lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
Me too. I feel dirty. He looks like he hasn’t taken a shower since before he got drafted into the NBA.
@Madame Zenobia, LMAO. Right.. like a walking STD too.
@Madame Zenobia,
“one ball makes me nervous”
potential t-shirt
@Madame Zenobia,
Al Roker looks like the tortoise who broke his shell. Womp! Plus he is mad annoying.
@Luvvie,
hell yea i hate him and star jones with a passion they be havin al dressed like mr rodgers
@Luvvie,
I should have added Al Roker, I thought about it.
Late additions:
11.) Star Jones’ ex-husband
12.) Teri McMillian’s ex-husband
13.) Punk aka Jennifer Hudson fiance (though he technically counts as a part of #5)
Why do I feel like the three of them would pop in a nudie video TOGETHER?
@Madame Zenobia,
Why do I still feel like Punk and Mr. McMillan are the same effin person?
@Madame Zenobia,
LMFAO! Somethin about Punk just screams child molester to me!
@Madame Zenobia,
That entire list is full of men who refuse to come out that stuffy, murky, recycled air closet.
@Luvvie,
Those cats are so far in the closet they’re in Narnia.
I like a little mystery, so there aren’t really any male celebrities that I would want to see au natural.
The top of my list for men that I would not want to see in the buff are:
Diddy
Jay-Z
Lil Wayne
@Leila, How’d I forget Lil Wayne? I think my corneas would run away and hide if I evuh laid eyes on that dude.
@Hostess,
Egads! How did I forget Weezy?!?!?!? Good Lord, I think I’d loose my free* grilled KFC! That goes for Baby, Master P, Mystkial, Slikk the Shocker, Mia X basically any NO rapper who thinks it would be a good idea to go nudie for a comeback.
(Freddie P, Choppa, Dylan, Ness from last week’s Top 4 Reality shows – this includes you.)
*Please visit a participating KFC restaurant for a rain check form. Complete the form, attach your original coupon , and give it to the KFC restaurant manager or postmark per the form’s instructions, by May 19, 2009, and we’ll send you a rain check for your free Kentucky Grilled Chicken meal at a later date, plus a free Pepsi with our compliments. Your participating KFC restaurant will provide you with the form you need.
Please note that the redemption periods of the rain checks will vary. All other terms and conditions of the original free Kentucky Grilled Chicken coupon will apply
@Madame Zenobia,
ummmm….i don’t know if this is supposed to be funny or informational. lol. do you work for KFC? i stayed good and away from all that foolishness.
@SouthernGirl,
No, I don’t work for KFC – I was trying to be silly. (It was 3 AM forgive me.)
@Madame Zenobia,
Why must you perpetuate ChickenGate ’09 tomfoolery? WHY??
*wall slide*
@blackberry molasses,
It was 3 AM, I was being silly – forgive meeeeeeeeee!!!!!
@Leila,
“Lil Wayne”
Eeeeeek! My eyes! My eyes!
I’m feeling queasy from the visual!
@Leila,
Blech@ Lil Wayne’s dirty arse. I’ll bet he has little trees and animals growing out his pubic area
@Me fail english?,
Blech@ Lil Wayne’s dirty arse. I’ll bet he has little trees and animals growing out his pubic area
LOLOL
@Me fail english?,
I’m pretty sure that Lil Wayne’s pubic hair harbors species unbenownst to scientists. Or MAYBE it holds the key to vaccines of the toughest diseases, just b/c that would be the ultimate in irony
@Luvvie, I don’t understand how Lil Wayne has so many women fighting over him. That puzzles me….
@Leila,
Thirsty azz heffaz that’s who!
@Luvvie,
“Or MAYBE it holds the key to vaccines of the toughest diseases, just b/c that would be the ultimate in irony”
Now that’s some funny sh*t!
@Leila,
OMG, how did I forget Lil’ Wayne? Wait, I know, because I would picture him making constipated moaning sounds annnnd…
Forgetting again…
My list of EEKS! My eyes!!!:
*Big Boy – He looks like he’s melting ever since he lost all that weight. Dude looks like someone literally let the air outta him. EEK!
*Lil Wayne – I’d die a slow and torturous death. My 3rd eye would get cataracts and go blind, and my 6th sense would quit me if I was to see that human roach sans apparel. EEWWWW!!!
*Prince – I have NO desire to see that “man” naked. I’d either feel like a resident of the Isle of Lesbo, looking at his feminine form and tender & slim thighs or a pedophile b/c of his 13 yr old body. Nothankyou. Alls I wanna do with Prince is take him shopping with me. He’d pick out GREAT outfits for me and fierce shoes. We may fight over the same pair of heels though. Hmph.
I’m sleepy. Thats all I got for now (coincidentally the same thing Champ told Aif when he lasted 3 minutes. HUZZAH! ZING!)
@Luvvie,
LMAO @ alladis foolishness! You are a total clown!
@Luvvie,
zing deez
@Luvvie, Tender and slim thighs?! LMAO sat down
LMAO!
3 minutes is kinda generous, kiddo.
@Luvvie,
And is anyone else freaked out by the fact that Lauren London is 5 months preggo w/ Lil Wayne’s baby. YUP, it’s true.
The Ghost of Roach Present and his Lust Child w/ Lauren London really have my balance all wonky. The scales of justice is officially broke.
@Luvvie,
smh@ Lauren London.
People forget, but Wayne was a really cute teenager. Now he looks like compost. And on top of that he just had a baby with the Ohio chick.
@Me fail english?,
Now he looks like compost.
BWAHAHAHAHA!
*dyin over here*
@Me fail english?,
iQut u. Please pack ALL ur ish and VAMOOSE! Not compost! LMAO!!!
@Luvvie,
Wayne knocked up NuNu oh hell yea thas my boy
folks i’d never want to see in any kind of state of nudity:
1. bill clinton. shoot, any middle aged-to-elderly politician/news figure including, but not limited to, larry king (whyyyyyy is this man still procreating at the age of 204???), rush limbaugh, jay leno and the pope. although i wouldn’t say no to jon stewart or anderson cooper *fans self rapidly with prayerbook*
2. jermaine jackson. his molten plastic face suggests the rest of him is likewise. and my delicate constitution simply can’t take the greasy slimy strangely fake-tanned looking-ness of it all.
3. david gest or al reynolds.
and i’m spent. back to my paper.
@puff,
“and i’m spent. back to my paper.”
i had a great reply to this quote when i first read it, but i had some toast issues this morning and i forgot about it
And as for Nas…you know what? He’s been my fav mc since I was approx. 12 y.o. (my big cousins made me listen to him, and actually listen to his lyrics- great lesson in appreciating hip-hop), and I’ve had sporadic crushes on him because, well, he’s pretty da*mn cute. I love the man. He’s kept it real and refused to sell his soul to the devil (i.e. record company execs), save for that foolish “Ochee Wali-Wali”.
Despite his intelligence and lyrical prowess, it seems Nasir cannot pick a good woman. We all know Carmen’s story and, as much as I like Kelis’ “I don’t care” attitude, I just knew she and Nas weren’t really right for each other.
Now, if this “rumored” chex tape occurred before the marriage, Nasir needs to take the L, kick himself for not doing more research before he said “I do”, and forget about it. If the tape was made during the marriage…then I understand. Adultery is bad enough- having it recorded is mortifying.
**Sorry for the rant, I just don’t like the idea of the demise of their marriage being solely blamed on Kelis when we don’t –and won’t ever– know the details.**
@Lili,
The tape is not a rumor. It’s real.
@Lili,
Meh, I think Nas played himself because there had been lots of rumors of Kelis’ “adventurous” side since long before they got married. Since way back when I was just an intern in the industry! It’s one thing for a radio station to put out random stuff, but when your peers, colleagues and superiors are all talking to, there may be something to this…
And seeing as how Nas was a pretty big deal in this industry and I got paid in wet breadcrumbs, I find it doubtful that I heard rumors that he wasn’t privy to. He needs to suck it up and get over it.
I’ve never seen the tape but word on the street is that she has the same platinum blonde hair in the tape that she got after they married. And screw the tape. Who wants to be married to a chick that boned Infared??? Sux to be him.
@Me fail english?,
Are you trying to tell me one of my favorite if not favorite MC’s is a sucka for love? Say it ain’t so.
@Humble_One,
It’s so.
Believe it.
@Me fail english?,
I agree. Nas’ knew she was a freak b4 they got married. That’s prolly one of the things about her that he liked. Dumba$$. Don’t wait till she’s 7 mos. pregnant w/ ur child to be mad!
@Lili,
Now, if this “rumored” chex tape occurred before the marriage, Nasir needs to take the L, kick himself for not doing more research before he said “I do”, and forget about it. If the tape was made during the marriage…then I understand. Adultery is bad enough- having it recorded is mortifying.
this is a topic in itself. even if said deeds occured prior to the marriage, how does recent knowledge affect the current situation? does it depend on the deed? time involved?
@The Champ,
@The Champ,
Idk. I do know that seeing your wife in a “money shot” is not what’s up. I don’t know any man willing to take that L.
@Humble_One,
“Money Shot”?!?!?!?!
@The Champ,
*Eh hem eh hem* Look at me, creating topics and whatnot.
Go ‘head and post that tonight.
@The Champ,
i dated a girl that did some nude photos b4 i met her and i dumped her after i found out. cant have my boys all like wow dog ya girl got tha wet wet. i bragged that i banged a model tho lol
@Lili,
WAIT i think im lost. did kelis cheat and now they are broken up?
@tnt,
Nas found a sextape that Kelis did pre-marriage and it freakied him out that his wife SMASHED A HOMIE on camera
Now, if this “rumored” chex tape occurred before the marriage, Nasir needs to take the L, kick himself for not doing more research before he said “I do”, and forget about it. If the tape was made during the marriage…then I understand. Adultery is bad enough- having it recorded is mortifying.
_____________________________________
I agree. I love Nas–actually both of them–but this divorce situations is wack. The tape was supposed to have happened bf the marriage. He knew that girl was freaky.
@charli skipper,
He may have known that but I don’t he needed documented evidence of it.
@charli skipper,
I agree. I love Nas–actually both of them–but this divorce situations is wack. The tape was supposed to have happened bf the marriage. He knew that girl was freaky.
hmmm. so if it was nas that made the sex tape with infra-red instead of kelis, would you feel the same way?
@The Champ,
Things do happen before marriage…
unless you marry your highschool sweetheart. I still don’t know why people record their private life
@Ivy st.,
Heh, heh. I recorded myself. It can be fun to watch the playback. My only question is why, in the digital age, don’t these fools destroy the recording afterwards??? I mean how many times can you watch the same pron before you feel like some sort of weirdo?
@Me fail english?,
why, in the digital age, don’t these fools destroy the recording afterwards?
That is probably what I should have said.
If anything u don’t need to record, live in the moment…get a huge mirror.
heyyyyyyy
*hearing Ne-Yo’s song “Mirror” in my head..floating to happy place*
I’d never want to see Michael Clark Duncan. I like me a big black mandingo but *shiver* that is TOO much of a good thing.
@Jeandra,
lol, if i had a list of “top five people i’d never, ever, ever want to share a jail cell with” him, and anyone who resembled him would be number one.
@The Champ,
your visual makes me think of that scene from money talks where Chris Tucker is in the cell with big perm.
@The Champ,
please see below for additional members
@Jeandra,
Yeah M. Clark Duncan look like he got that peen that is so huge, it’d deliver the sperm right into your uterus. They won’t even have to swim or nuthin. Nothankyou.
@Luvvie,
I’d like to thank you for this repulsive visual. Just ewww!
@Luvvie,
You know what? I’m gonna *throat punch* you too, for this atrocious visual.
EWWWWW.
@Luvvie,
LOL. This makes me think of those tapes where the girls eff the horses! Hahaha. I bet they don’t even pay those chicks for that sh1t. Just free carrots or smthg
@Me fail english?,
Not free carrots!
@Luvvie,
smdh. that’s all i can say.
@Luvvie,
LOL!!!
@Luvvie,
lmbao yup thas what some good pole will do
@BLUNTBLAZER,
By good, you must mean dangerous
furthermore,
I’d like to also add
Diddy
Genuwine (sorry, he’s just eww)
Q-tip
Will I Am (can you pass the salsa for all that taco meat)
Erro (i love him to death but um, no)
Jigga (he probably has some pipe but no)
Any member of Jodeci
@Jeandra,
nodding head @ Jigga (he probably has some pipe but no).
i always pictured him as being thick and long…maybe it’s b/c he looks like a camel and I always assume certain animals have pretty bigg schlongs….
@N.I.A. naturally….,
LOL!!!!!!!!!! EXACTLY.
Oh, and Freddy Fox from M.O.P
@Jeandra,
LOL. Freddie Foxx isn’t in MOP, but MOP’s manager is a chick named Fox. Not that it matters because I wouldn’t want to see ANY of the four in so much as their skivvies! And I’m a fan of both acts!!
Famous men I wouldn’t want to see nude:
Jason Kidd: I just imagine that his member is pink and the pink meat scares me.
Idris Elba (sp?): I know the women folk here think he’s sexy but he doesn’t look like he showers to me. I’d rather not see the crust that has built up around his sack.
Tiger Woods: I imagine his johnson has an overbite and that his pub hairs are thinning, like the ones on his head.
Female celebrities who need not make sex tapes:
Serena Williams: Her body is slamming but that face is scary even when it’s smiling. I cannot imagine how ugly her ‘baby I’m about to blow’ face is.
Tyra Banks: With the amount of weight she’s gained in the last year, I figure she’s covered in stretch marks and her flesh is heavily dimpled.
Alicia Keys: Beautiful girl. But the thought of that borderline masculine raspy voice going ‘do it daddy, do it’ makes my skin crawl.
Nonfamous people I don’t ever want to see naked:
-any of my friend’s husbands or boyfriends
-my stepdad
-my brothers
-my cousins
-my hairy former nemesis
-the metrosexual bird chested guy I used to work with (he told me a few weeks ago that, when he first saw me, he thought “I could hit that”. I threw up a bit in my mouth after he said it.
@iloVEGrits,
Jason Kidd: I just imagine that his member is pink and the pink meat scares me.
You’re not alone.
@iloVEGrits,
Idris Elba (sp?): I know the women folk here think he’s sexy but he doesn’t look like he showers to me. I’d rather not see the crust that has built up around his sack. .
OMG this is hilarious. I agree I don’t love him the way others do.
Now thanks to you his nickname is Crusty Sack, short for Crusty Nut Sack.
BWHAHAHAHA
@iloVEGrits,
Tiger Woods: I imagine his johnson has an overbite
thanks for ruining my lunch, forever
@The Champ,
can you come to LA so I can slap you right now.
did you just say his woo hoo has an overbite?
@The Champ,
lol
just eat a big breakfast you’ll be strait dogg
i got that image of dave chappell dressed as tiger in the race draft sayin “fo shizzle” lol
@iloVEGrits,
How DARE you talk about Idris?!?!? He is BEAUTIFUL! I’m SURE his sack is NOT, I repeat NOT crusty as many women that dream of being with him. I sure many more have been with him. I must admit, Idris with no facial hair… not so cute.
@Ivy st., I too think Idris is foine!, but for some reason i imagine his pubes lookin like taco meat, and that’s not sexxy…not at all
@A Plus,
Not the taco meat!!!!!
I love Idris and all, but for some reason to me he looks like he could be uncut, if ya catch my drift…
*dead*
@miss t-lee,
Please not uncut! That’s the worst!!!! I think men who are uncut should admit that upfront. There is nothing worse than discovering all the skin and you have to be like What the phuck is this???
@V Renee,
Exactly.
I ran up on a discovery one time…I was NOT happy.
I pray Idris is not uncut either, but then again ya never know…lol
@V Renee,
I second this! Ninja walkin around all proud with a d1ck that looks like a turtleneck!
SMH!
@miss t-lee,
I will be highly surprised given that Idris is typically a muslim name and that it’s mandatory to be “cut” in the Islamic faith (from what I understand that is)…
@Sula,
Hmmm.
Okay…now I’m really wondering…lol
@iloVEGrits,
1. This list was so comprehensive that methinks you already had it somewhere and just waited til it was time to bust it out. Then you copied and pasted to the best of your abilities
b. I concur with it ALL but Idris Elba. I’d shame my mama and my ancestors for that man
III. iQuit you and everything you stand for b/c of this “Tiger Woods: I imagine his johnson has an overbite and that his pub hairs are thinning, like the ones on his head.”. iCackled WAYYY too loudly after reading that.
BEST.LIST.EVER.
I concur with it ALL but Idris Elba. I’d shame my mama and my ancestors for that man
i 2nd this…. the things i would do to that man *smh*
@iloVEGrits, I’d rather not see the crust that has built up around his sack.
OMG!!!
Forgot to add another female celebrity who should not ever be photographed naked:
Eva Marcille, nee Eva Pigford…aka Y&R’s Tyra Hamilton.
The girl is pretty, really. But her body is zero. I always thought everyone got either boobs or butt. Sista got neither. She has a boy’s body and should keep it covered. Is she even working with a full ‘A’ cup?
@iloVEGrits,
i agree. i still think shes sexy though, which disturbs me
@iloVEGrits,
I take personal affront to this diatribe on Eva the Diva. Maybe it’s cuz we got the same body type. You tryna say I’m not a segzy somebody, V??? *wall slide*
@Luvvie,
awww pookie. You are thick for no reason!
You got mo than Eva.
@iloVEGrits,
@iloVEGrits,
She has a boy’s body but she’s still s!exy and I will even peek at her nude pics.
I dont get it…you say you dont find Beyonce sexy…but you ranked her as a 9 on your 1-10 scale of women??? Guess its a Gemini thang!!!
@JessJoy,
welcome and sh*t. and yeah, a woman can be beautiful and still be devoid of any real sex appeal. beyonce comes to mind, as well as gabby union
@The Champ,
I see what you’re saying about Beyonce. To me she looks like she has never done the do (not that there’s anything wrong with that but she is married which is a whole nother story) and if she has she doesn’t like it.
@The Champ,
you wrong dogg bey got body and she is so stuck up and prissy i would love ta bone her and mess her hair and make-up up. I bet she go back to bein a good country girl and make me some eggs n bacon. She needs some good pole. Her sis do to lol. I went to my college for a month i think. she is bad in person.
@The Champ,
“a woman can be beautiful and still be devoid of any real sex appeal.”
Yeah. A friend of mine is gorgeous. But not sexy.
Similarly, there are some sexy not so pretty women out there. And this is equally true for men.
Please keep it on list
————————-
Tyra Banks
Cameron Diez
New York (from flava of love)
Most women over the age of 50
@Double J,
new york reminds me of howard the duck for some reason
The reason…is her face.
She also looks like Janice the muppet unfortunately.
http://willotoons.com/blog/2007/03/i-love-new-york/
@8th Wonder,
no sir! not today not again! this pic popped up a few days ago and the kid almost got fired for laughing too loudly. my boss saw me and was like “whats wrong?” and i couldnt say a word! was still breathless from laughing
@8th Wonder,
Yeah, Janice the Muppet is spot-on. I DIED the first time someone pointed that out.
I’ve always called her Lamb Chop Meets
Jay-ZJoe Camel.Whew! Where to begin?
Anthony Hamilton – I picture dust in every nook & cranny! Brutha can blow but can he wash? Doesn’t look like it!
Jermaine Dupri – Umm just no!
Khloe Kardashian – thought’s just scary!
Snoop Dogg – too stringy! He looks like his peen would be all thin & pointy!
Rick Ross – no explanation needed!
@YGB, “Brutha can blow but can he wash? Doesn’t look like it!”
I get this same feeling from dear Anthony.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Yeah, he looks like he smells of a combo of must and natural oils.
@Dom, LMAO!!!! Exactly. Pachouli (did I spell that right?)
@Nicki Sunshine,
Looks like he wears Brut to cover it up.
@YGB,
“Jermaine Dupri – Umm just no!”
Right?! Little people (I guess he’s not medically little, but yall know what I mean) in general are at the top of my list. I was thoroughly disturbed when Mini Me stripped on the Surreal Life
@Me fail english?,
He’s LITTLE! Technically he’s probably a midget….
@YGB,
Snoop Dogg – too stringy! He looks like his peen would be all thin & pointy!.
He definitely looks like his peen would be the same scale as a pencil.
@V Renee,
That’s it xacktely! Ole HB d1cked muthasmurfer!
@V Renee,
We should just call Snoop Dogg “#2″ (pencil, that is)
@YGB,
Snoop Dogg – too stringy!
Bwhahahah
Did you just call this nuh stringy?!
Hi-larious.
@YGB,
Seeing Anthony Hamilton would cause me to go buy him a full body kit of no-lye relaxer. I just picture his whole body full of public (yes, public) hair. EEWWW
@Luvvie,
lol. I been reading it as “public hairs” all day
RIP Dolla Bill
@Luvvie,
Wheezing @ public hairs!
Who I don’t want to see
1) Monique
2) Oprah
3) the Mowry twins (these girls are not hot to me)
4) Lil Kim (i think she would look like a dollar store barbie doll naked)
5) Keri Hilson (she is ok looking but I don’t get the hype)
On the Nas & Kelis issue
I feel for dude. I’ve seen a still from the video and it’s not a good look. For a dude this is like one of your worst fears. This shows that if it can happen to him it can happen to any of us.
@Humble_One,
You wylin with Keri Hilson ock.
@Dorian G.,
IDK. Where I am women like her are all over the place. It’s not hard to find a cute face without a body here.
@Humble_One,
Where you live at? Cuz I’m in the MD/DC/VA area so I’m gonna assume I’m surrounded by better looking black women than you and I promise you if Keri Hilson walked into any club here, she would be within the top 10% on every night.
@Dorian G.,
“Where you live at?”
lol, i was about to ask the same thing.
@Dorian G.,
I do not know about Keri Hilson being Top 10% every night in DMV. Keri Hilson the R&B star, would yes because that factor in image, but Keri Hilson just some regular old chick… she has COMPETITION in the DMV. Plenty of chicks with hazel eyes, (real or fake), long legs and skinny out here every night in places like Park, Shadow, Josephine’s, Love, etc. etc. etc.
@Dr. J,
Completely agree. That same chick with a different name is getting attention, but she certainly won’t be in the group vying for hottest chick in the club (although watching her break it down would be hawt for sure). And I actually think Keri’s body is better than her face.
@Humble_One,
I never got the hype around Kelis or Keri. There are some pretty girls that have great stage personas so I can get people hyping an entire package. But these two…there are chicks who do their look better than them in malls across America. Keri’s just cute and Kelis is just aight IMO
@Me fail english?,
That sums it up basically. If Keri is that much of a dime i’d hate to see what is a 4 0r 5.
@Humble_One,
This shows that if it can happen to him it can happen to any of us.
Then again, I’m sure there will be a lot less hits for the video of a regular Jane….
1. Shaq
2. Rick Ross
3. Mike Tyson
4. Amy Whinehouse
5. Justin Timerlake
@Nicki Sunshine,
4. Amy Whinehouse
Eeeew! She looks like she has weeping sores on her kitty-cat!
@YGB,
I’m going to *throat punch* you for putting that visual in my head.
@miss t-lee,
lol can ya do it one more time for me im buzy stickin my head out tha window upchuckin.
@YGB,
Gag! She has weeping sores all over her body. EWWW
@YGB, ****my eyes are bleeding from the visual ***
@Nicki Sunshine,
I aim to pleaze!
@YGB,
Amy Winehouse is a WALKING sore. Her entire being just seems scabby.
@Nicki Sunshine,
damn you beat me to the amy winehouse punch!
@Carver The Great!, lol
@Carver The Great! & Friends,
Do not make me call you out. Most of y’all would watch any sex tape just to see it. Have you seen Zack & Miri Make a Porno?! Remember when he said, “If you told me that you had a sextape of Rosie O’Donnell, I would be like, “Well break that ish out!”"
That’s real talk. If you heard that there was a sex tape with Marlon Wayans and Whoopi Goldberg, you’d be like well let’s have a look. In your defense you may not watch the whole thing.
@Nicki Sunshine,
“4. Amy Whinehouse”
EW, I know. She looks like she has 80-year old body. She is ROUGH. But, she can blow (which also suffers sometimes due to the stuff).
@Cheekie, When she dances, she has that crack itch
@Nicki Sunshine,
LMAO. So true!
Beyonce would be better looking if she had inherited her father’s color instead of her mother’s.
@Scipio Africanus,
hmmm. interesting. i’ll have to do a comparison analysis on my work comp later on today.
I know this is going to get me treated like an Amish kat who went into the city for the weekend but here goes: I can’t think of any woman I wouldn’t want to see nude except my mammy well 97% of the women in my fam. Other than that I’ll take a peek at Whoopi’s goodies I mean I’d turn my nose up and give it the gas face but I’d still look. Meagan Good’s pics are like a fire *ss Bentley you see it and go damn that’s nice. On the other hand Queen Latifah’s pics are a car wreck and youy just can’t look away. So although I agree with the overall theme of this subject I mean its not like I’m looking for these nasty pics but if some dude was like I got a nude pic of Wanda Sykes…hell I’ll look and say gross immediately afterwards. C’mon ninjas keep it real.
@GainesvilleGreen,
I don’t get what’s so bad looking about Wanda Sykes? I mean if you cut the head off, I bet she’d look like an average woman. Is it that seeing the butch lesbain head attached to a feminine body would be unsettling?
@Me fail english?,
I don’t think she deserves to be called a behemoth wildebeast at all! She’s aight!
@YGB,
I always thought she kinda resembled Ciara…which is another person that should guard her chex tapes at all costs, for the good of the public.
*waits for VSBs to kick my head in*
@Me fail english?,
I always thought she kinda resembled Ciara
me too. its like someone crossed ciara with cheryl miller, and gave her chris rock’s vocal cadence.
@The Champ,
Cheryl Miller is scary @ me. Not only does she look like Reggie with a wig on, but she got more male swagger than he does. No sah!
@GainesvilleGreen,
Oh please believe that Im taking a peek at all nekkid pics minus relatives and Amy Winehouse…although to be honest I would probably cover my face and peek through my fingers at Amy Winehouse since it would be like a scary movie and all.
@V Renee,
People are always going to look. It’s human nature. If you want to or not, 9 times outta 10 you’re gonna sneak a peek…lol
now thinking about it. i would really LIKE to see michael jackson in a chex tap.
i wanna see what color it is, is one ball black and the other one pink? how big is it? what does he scream? does he grab his package at all?
i think it’ll be hilarious.
@jana.love,
i wanna see what color it is, is one ball black and the other one pink? how big is it? what does he scream? does he grab his package at all?
*sniggling loudly*
@jana.love,
I’ll bet his balls are fluorescent and he has sex just like the coneheads but incorporates special gloves somehow.
@jana.love,
I wouldn’t wanna c a Michael Jackson chex tape b/c it’d include a monkey & Emmanuel Lewis. And ish like that is something you can’t UN-see.
I’ll take the non-traumatic life experience for $500, Alex
@jana.love,
He’s one of those people I prefer to think of as asexual.
@Dom,
Like Missy Elliot. In my mind, she is anatomically built like a Barbie Doll. I hope I’m never proven wrong
@jana.love,
somebody needs a throat punch for that that aint even right. i wish i had that memory eraser from m.i.b. i need ta go see cassie nude again
Michelle Obama is BEAUTIFUL! Does a woman have to be “steamy video pretty” to be considered pretty?
@Ivy St.,
Apparently so….lol
@Ivy St.,
Yes
@Dorian G.,
*smh*
@Ivy St., just because most ppl find her good looking does every person have to?
@Peyso,
No, but should looking nice without no clothes on be the standard?
@Ivy St.,
what the hell is a steamy video??
@The Champ,
DO better! You of all people should know.
@Ivy St., “Michelle Obama is BEAUTIFUL!”
I agree. She’s radiant. I also think that she and Barack are one of the most beautiful couples.
@Ivy St.,
“Does a woman have to be “steamy video pretty” to be considered pretty?”
No, but if he doesn’t think she’s beautiful, then so be it. Life moves on.
I mean the only women I won’t want to see getting pounded out on tape, are women I respect on *that* level. Celebrity-wise it would have to be some sort of leader, or leaders wife, so Michelle is the only one I can come up with. Otherwise than that its all good in the hood.
@Dorian G.,
yeah. with basically any other non-family member, i’d at least click on the link. with shelly o, though, i wouldnt out of respect.
I’d take a look at anybody’s nekky pics, provided that I didn’t know them personally, cuz I’m a perv like that
. I don’t, however, wanna see ANYBODY I know in real life naked.
Here are some people I can imagine staring at in awesome disgust:
-Cam’ron -his body has been ravaged since 1998. He looks like he’s got the monster
-James Evans- cuz I feel like he’s my Dad
-Colin Powell – cuz he kinda looks like my grandpop (or at least like they’re from the same tribe)
-2520 men – sorry, but pink meat scares me too!
-Bow Wow -he looks like someone’s flatchested little sister…which brings me to…
-Lil Mama and Teyana Taylor – They both look like they were born male. That’s all I got for now.
@Me fail english?,
“-Cam’ron -his body has been ravaged since 1998. He looks like he’s got the monster”
He was looking extra terrible in the latest pics I saw of him last week. Dayum.
@miss t-lee,
I know! And I used to have a crush on him. Now he looks like he sells socks outside Yankee Stadium
@Me fail english?,
Hahaaha.
I’ma cue up “I Really Mean It” for him…right now…lol
No really it’s only ’cause I’m sleepy and trying to avoid falling asleep and the beat gets me hype.
@Me fail english?,
-Lil Mama and Teyana Taylor – They both look like they were born male. That’s all I got for now. .
I’m almost willing to bet money that they were born with both parts and their parents had to make a choice on what gender they wanted to go with. And since they mamas always wanted a little girl, thats the sex they went with.
@V Renee,
They’re both handsome women.
@miss t-lee,
LMAO!!!
Yeah, that Lil’ Mama has a HARD face. And she has perma-scowl which doesn’t help matters.
@Cheekie,
She looks like a light-skinned gremlin!
Father please forgive me!
@YGB,
She does look like that girl Gremlin at the New Year’s party
@Me fail english?,
Methinks Teyana is pretty but her extra tomboyish ways make her seem more masculine than she is. The chick in a dress is HAWT (No Wanda Sykes)
And Lil Mama just don’t know how to act right
I also think Teyana is the bombdotcom. I love her style.
Her chin is rather aggresive, though…
@8th Wonder,
Her ‘tache is aggresive as hell!
@8th Wonder,
I bet Teyana’s chin got NOTHING on Rain Pryor’s iron jaws of glory! I wanna call her “Crimson Chin”
@Me fail english?, lmao @ this whole list. dayum dayum dayum.
I think its crazy for me to say they wouldnt wanna see some of the women up here naked. I like lookin at naked women even if I know I aint gonna beat. I jus wanna see how they look. So if you aint my family, really old or a parapalegic, I wanna see them pix. This includes Michele O. too. Sure she’s respectable and cool and smart and all that jazz but if she sent a naked pic to my phone, do you think I wouldnt look at it out of respect? GTFOHWTBS.
@Peyso,
LMAO!!! I’m saying, to me a tape is different from a pic. You gonna feel some type of way watching the first lady getting her hair pulled and face driven into a pillow.
@Dorian G., no i wouldnt. I would laugh. There’s a difference between me seeing it and the whole world seeing it. I would HATE for it to be a big scandal but if MIchele took a particular fancy to me and decided to send me a tape, I have no qualms
@Peyso,
if MIchele took a particular fancy to me and decided to send me a tape, I have no qualm
lol, this actually makes perfect sense to me, and i have to say i agree
@The Champ,
cosign who would turn down some a$$ and tiddys
@Peyso,
“if MIchele took a particular fancy to me and decided to send me a tape, I have no qualms”
U good sir are beyond help. LAWD HAVE MERCY!!! i can’t take it lol
lmao i love it!
i bet michelle is the man in the bedroom.
and i can appreciate that.
@Brokey McPoverty,
I bet she is, too.
@Brokey McPoverty,
Haha, Brokey. Your blog is mad funny!
Well, Since I am a woman….. Here is my list of men I wish never to see bukkednaked.
AL ROKER…… no explaination needed
50 CENT…… to me he is just ugly in the face, and when he talks it sounds like he has a mouth full for crackers!… if i cant get past the face.. i dont need to see anything else
RICK ROSS….. the only way you could get me to stand 2 feet next to ross, is if we were in a sub zero fridge, with box fans blowing in out direction….. I bet as soon as he gets naked he starts sweating IMMEDIATLY!! YUCK!!!
BOW-WOW….. I would be afraid of Chris Hansen jumping out from behind a curtin to try and catch a predator
“BABY” Cash Money ……. is it me, or does this ninja over moisturize?…. Plus I read tales from a groupie.. and the chikk that had an “encounter” with baby said they call him “Baby” for a reason! lol!
JIM JONES…. I can smell him through my computer screen
LOL! Just a few
@Laneianna,
Plus I read tales from a groupie
I love that page…lmao
@miss t-lee,
cosign on tales from a groupie, that site has some pretty valueable/hillarious info.
@Laneianna,
i definitely co-sign on bow-wow, not just because i’m male, but because a bow-w0w’s chex tape would have jermaine dupri in it.
MEDIC!!
@Carver The Great!,
LMAO!!!
the thought of JD in the mix is horrifying!!
@Carver The Great!,
LOLOLOLOLOL!
@Carver The Great!,
Or Omarion- tag teamin’ and ish.
Note to self: Add Omarion to the list too.
@Laneianna,
After reading that Pleasure P story I think I have a new crush
me too, lol
@Laneianna,
Tales from a groupie is in my google reader. LOVE that site. What I read bout Andre 3000 made me say “oh, really???” *strokes chin*
@Luvvie,
Me 2…I looked at him a bit differently that day…lol
@Luvvie,
I wasn’t surprised at all… He gives off the “boyfriend” vibe…
Rick Ross is a must on this list!!! We’ve all seen the previews in his countless tople$$ magazine covers and videos. And everytime it’s been projectile vomiting on my part.
And I know I’m late but Nas needs to get the heck over it. It was made before him. And know one considered Kelis the holy virgin! Hell she let him tie her up in the ‘blindfold me’ video. Even a blind man could see she freaky. He should be worried it aint one of their tapes…cuz you know she prob brought the tripod out!
People I do not want to see in the buff….
Michael Moore–too fat
Barbara Walters–too old and wrinkly
Anne Coulter–not into the whole tranny thing….
Rush Limbaugh–too disgusting to even imagine
Rajon Rondo
Terrance Howard
Whitney Houston
Morgan Freeman
Samuel L. Jackson–LOL!! can you imagine him in a chex tape yelling at the chick…”Mmm Mmm Bitch!” same thing for Dave Chappelle.
Wayne Brady
I’ll be back with more….
@N.I.A. naturally….,
lol@ Wayne Brady chokin betches in his video.
Panama, I know you said you don’t wanna see Beyonce because she’s like a robot (’tis true, have ya’ll seen her in interviews?!), but would you make an exception for Sasha Fierce?
Naw, she’d probably just be a spastic robot.Folks I’d rather not see nor imagine au naturale (and I apologize in advance for any puking or dying this may cause):
Flava
PruneFlav.Dubya Bush
Barack Obama (ignorance is blissful…plus he’s super duper skinny)
Jay-Z
Diddly
Donald Trump (his lip alone is a panty dryer, so ya know, any more than that is Sahara)
Joan Rivers (shudder)
Ludacris
Snoop Dogg (tooth…pick)
Tom Cruise
And speaking of TEETH – Steve Harvey
Bill O’Reilly (ugh)
I can’t even finish this….sick!
Bill Maher and Hillary Clinton are the first two that come to mind.
Janet Reno, John McCain, Newt Gingrich, Monica Lewinsky, and pretty much everyone in power during BOTH Clinton administrations run a close third, fouth fifth etc.
My list would be too long because most famous people these days need to keep their clothes on especially those in the news, most tv shows (except a couple) and movies (with exception to the cute ones). Most singers and rappers (except 50 cent or Flo rida they have good bodies, I kind of like Jim Jones too no explanation). Most singers. Many people should even shower/bathe with clothes on: Michael Jackson, Larry King, Woody Allen, Michael Moore, Rick Ross and Jazze Pha.
@pinksghetti, forgot to add that most sport stars wouldn’t look too bad to me in their natural states.
here’s mine:
J. Holiday- who just looks dirty at ALL times to me
Jim Jones- No explanation needed
Taye Diggs- He has an egghead, and I just cannot
Irv Gotti
Anybody from Three6 Mafia
Dr. Dre
Ice-T
Seriously, I could go on all day with the mofos I DON’T wanna see nekkid ever, at any time, for any reason.
@8th Wonder,
“Anybody from Three6 Mafia”
You mean you don’t wanna see Crunchy Black get down, with the get down?!
*I seriously just made myself giggle with that one.
@miss t-lee,
LOL! ewwww @ Crunchy Black chex
@8th Wonder,
Did you ever see that show they used to have on MTV. One of the dudes invited his girl to Hwood from Memphis to propose to her.
They were celebrating that night and didnt have any whip cream so they used sugar and mayo as a substitute. Im still quesy from seeing that.
@Dom, “sugar and mayo as a substitute”
i’ll never look at a sugar cube or a sandwich again. i mean, i never really liked mayo like that anyway, but d@mn!
1. Hulk Hogan (all those muscles HAVE to mean a little peter, right?)
2. 50 Cent (seeing his gorgeous body would only make me more pissed off at his Gorilla face)
3. Eddie Murphy ( I could never take him seriously, no matter how big or small)
4. Jim Carrey (see above)
5. Bruce Bruce (for obvious reasons)
I feel like Bruce Bruce would have to hold other things up just so you could FIND what lies beneath.
Okay, there goes my breakfast.
I guess I live under a rock b/c I had no idea there were nudie pics of those ladies floating around.
I believe the following should stay clothed, even in the shower (I’ll try not to repeat names):
Hugh Hefner
Anthony Anderson
Kenan Thompson
Katt Williams
James Gandolfini
Lil Jon
A lot of those big, sloppy Steelers I see waddling around the Burgh every so often. Don’t know their names but I think they’re defensive/offensive linemen.
The more I think about it, this list could go on and on.
Oh… and Condi Rice… I’d be kinda scared that a peen would pop out instead of the girl parts. lmao.
@pgh muse,
LOL!
Oh and Plies… gawd. I can’t even imagine…
@pgh muse,
LMAO I agree with the Condi Rice
Lmao at this post… dayum these visuals
-Steve Harvey – just Ewwww – like an uncle or something… when the thought comes to mind I just see him on the toilet w/ a newspaper or something stinking up the bathroom. ewww.
-Dick Cheney – I think this is what Satan looks like
-Rick Ross
-lil Wayne – *shudders to think* this ni99a is a walking advertisement for Hep B and C… ewww.
-Khia – she has that dirtball ran through look too
-Ne-Yo- the image is just scary @ me. I wonder if his thing is pink like his lips?? hmmm a question to ponder…
-Michael Jackson (although I would look – not $exy but kinda how people look at car wrecks and other tragedies)
-Magic Johnson – i don’t think this requires explaination
-Janet- her and JD ugh… i.just.can’t. I can’t even imagine what their bedroom action looks like… a dayum circus act…
@pgh muse,
would ne-yo take his hat off?
Women I’d least like to see:
Natalie Cole — I’ve always found her history of prostitution to be heartbreaking. It’d be like watching a troubled aunt getting pounded.
Kara DioGuardi — Her face and body are off (like a skeleton with small amounts of meat added to all the wrong places), and her whole vibe is played out (“You got swaggaaaaa”). It’d probably be like watching a guy f*ck a dead fish.
Missy — Missy
Jamie Lee Curtis — Would that technically make me ghey if I watched her and another man go at it, and liked it?
Aaliyah — The whole being dead thing would be weird. Extra demerits if its her and R.
The bloated Lauren Hill. Extra demerits for talking to spirits during the video.
Dude who would be the nastiest: Present day Gary Coleman.
If the lord is listening: Please have Lauren London’s video come out TODAY!!!
I’m dying that the explanation of why you wouldn’t want to see Missy was simply, “Missy”.
iCan’t.
@8th Wonder,
This done it for me! Just foolish!
@An Island,
Isn’t Lauren preggo by Lil Wayne??
@V Renee,
The only gossip I follow is sports related, so I don’t know. But if you want to know who’s unhappy with playing time or their salary, I got you.
Only woman I can think of that I wouldnt wanna see nude would be……………………………………ARETHA FRANKLIN
when she was 20 she was good now im imagin she looks like that fat dude from star wars that blob lookin dude whats his name?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I bet her areolas are the size of satellite dishes.
@V Renee,
ufo’s lmao
khia – i don’t want to see your neck or your back, go ‘head and keep that ma
foxy brown – i still have nightmares of that dark lipstick she used to rock…and who wants to smash a babe named inga…just typing that makes my p*nis soft
mariah carey – for some reason i think she has been to the clinic with something that’s never been documented…she probably does gl0ryh0le videos for negative money, nick cannon is definitely wildin’ out…
ok…my comment got moderated…twice…and you said asterisks and euphemisms are my friends…
malarkey!
@Carver The Great!, mine too.
I don’t want to see:
Amy Winehouse, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lil Kim, Monique, Oprah, Alex Wek…that’s off the top. I’m sure there are more.
Bond. BlkBond.
@Blk Bond,
*eeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!* (or whatever sound screeching brakes make)
sarah jessica parker could get it! i’d personally volunteer for the lead role in that performance.
a milf with a mean shoe game and a four-pack stomach (read: jizz-bullseye)? i’m in there like swimwear!
fellas, would you agree?
…and i don’t even “play in the snow”, but i’d show her my snowballs
@Carver The Great!,
sarah jessica parker could get it! i’d personally volunteer for the lead role in that performance.
a milf with a mean shoe game and a four-pack stomach (read: jizz-bullseye)? i’m in there like swimwear!
Well, she has no choice but 2 hav a mean shoe game considerin that her face looks like a foot!
@YGB,
“Well, she has no choice but 2 hav a mean shoe game considerin that her face looks like a foot!”
Word to Peter Griffin.
And I’m done for the day, lmao!
@Carver The Great!, Word Life…you crazy folks have had me questioned by my supervisor 3 times for laughing at work and what about.
secondly….SJP…NO! the reason being is HER HANDS! they look like the witches in snow white when she was comming to give her the apple. Imagine getting your business stroked in foreplay and noticing your johnston has that “new skin gleem” like a new born.
No man i know whats a layer of skin shaved off just to get a little nookie…so i know shes not Edward Scissor Hands but she is Sarah Sandpaper Mits.
@ESQuared,
you just ruined hj’s for me…thanks.
@ESQuared, No man i know whats a layer of skin shaved off just to get a little nookie…so i know shes not Edward Scissor Hands but she is Sarah Sandpaper Mits.
hyperventalating. jeebus!
@Carver The Great!,
naw to skinny for me id send her home in peices
naw kim whitley yea id do it
oh! and another one!… Stevie Wonder… i bet his pubes look just like that atrocity he wears around his mouth! HOR-I-BLE!
@Laneianna,
*eddie murphy voice*
that sh*t ain’t funny motherf***er! stevie wonder was a musical genius!
LMAO!
too many to name LOL!!!
I love Michelle Obama
and her fattyfor who she is, but naked? ehhhh idk.. i dont think shes “pretty” persay. Her stature and the way she carries herself give her an overall sex appeal, but straight looks? I cant cosign.We all knwo she thugs obama between the sheets, and im not mad. THats change I can believe in.
*clears throat*
iQuit pretty much ALL of VSB. Y’all have been on some FOOLISH today. I’ve laughed wayyy to hard today. Btwn Me Fail English saying someone looks like compost and YGB saying someone’s face looks like a Foot, I’m done with ALL of y’all.
*drops mic*
*peeks in*
Aight maybe I ain’t thru w/ yall. But still… LMAO!
@Luvvie, Y’all forgot Forest Whitaker… his wonky eye being exposed is bad enough, I don’t even want to imagine the terror that is his love below…
@Luvvie,
Folks brought straight comedy today.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned it, but:
-The Pretty Rickys (do they even still exist?)
-Any person who makes their living in an animal/character suit
(Chuck E. Cheese, Fredbird, Phillie Phanatic, none of them- they probably emit high levels of stank on their off days)
-Regis Philbin (Methinks the years of facelifts have done irreplaceable things to “the love below)
Bobby Brown would be number 1 on my list…Did he ever get his mouth fixed?
I don’t want to see any of the following in their b-day suit
1. Bobby Brown
2. T-Pain
3.Puff Daddy
4. Kanye West
5. Snoop Dogg
6. Any man who shaves his member completely bald…sorry I know you say it’s for hygiene purposes but it just looks weird and molesterish! Soap and water does just fine!
LOL
…..ahh man…
First time reading vsb and I’m officially a fan. I will be back for more!